Sonjia: Oh great. Just the fact that I'm here talking right now can only mean one thing...
Jadarin: It means that you don't know how to shut up?
Sonjia: NO! It means that you probably have another fic to torment me with.
Jadarin: (looks innocent) Who, me? What would give you that idea?
Sonjia: It's the sixth one. I've begun to sense a pattern by now.
Jadarin: Well, since you brought it up, let's do it! Even though I wasn't really planning on
doing anything with this one, since it's so bad.
Sonjia: Great...
Jadarin: But maybe you'll be pleased to know that it's not a Slayers, Sailor Moon, or Gundam
fic. I'm trying to diversify our reading.
Sonjia: You're not doing a very good job. They're all bad.
Jadarin: True, but let's see what we can do with... Tenchi Muyo!
Disclaimer I don’t own any of tenchi muyo charaters so don’t sue me.
Sonjia: If I sue you anyways, will you not write anymore?
Jadarin: I'll call the lawyers!
Also this is my frist so be gentle and also im sort of a bad speller so go
easey on me okay.
Sonjia: At least we're forewarned.
No Need to explode the Masaki house!
Jadarin: That title looks like it was translated into Japanese and back.
It was a ordaniry moring at the masaki house.
Sonjia: Mooring?
Jadarin: Yeah, you know, all the girls were tying Tenchi to the bed.
ya know Ryoko and ayeka fighting over tenchi, sasami cooking breakfest.
Sonjia: A Break Fest? I wonder if Lina's involved in that.
Mr. Masaki was off to work and grandfather was at his shrine. but where is washu?
Jadarin: And Mihoshi and Kiyone, for that matter, since we're on the subject.
"YES i finnaly made a bomb that could blow up anything I command it to"
Sonjia: And here I thought bombs just blew up anything anyway, without any commands.
said washu. then the mini robot washus came up on her shoulder and said "washu is
smartest genuis in the universe yay washu!!!!!"
Jadarin: As opposed to the smartest idiot in the universe.
*washu's stomach grolws* I guess I can't be a very smart genuis on an emptey stomach
can I?
Sonjia: Probably, since I really don't know what a "genuis" is.
Hey I know i'll go see what sasami has cooked for breakfest
and i can show every one my newest invention.
Jadarin: And, involving Washuu, this will most likely turn into a "break fest".
so washu walks out of her room or labitroy. and see's that shes just in time for
breakfest.
Sonjia: That was a random period...
Jadarin: Maybe "labitroy" is an abbreviation for some unknown word.
so every one sits down and starts eating. ayeka takes the whole plate of rice and eats
it all in one big huge bite.
Sonjia: (sighs) Thank you, Lina Inverse...
"you could've saved some for me" Tenchi says with a *sweatdrop* on his neck. "yeah
ayeka you could've saved us some to" said everyone else
Jadarin: My, Tenchi's being selfish, isn't he?
"well i guess aykea really like my rice"
said Sasami. "well i'm not that hungry anyway i've got this really cool bomb that i just made"
Sonjia: Said Sasami?!
said washu.
Sonjia: Oh.
everyone says in unison "A BOMB RUN!!!!!!!!!".
Sonjia: Is that like a deer run or something?
Jadarin: It's where hunters lie and wait for those unsuspecting bombs that come walking
through.
"No No No this bomb only exploids when I say to.
Sonjia: Wow, I've never seen something exploid before!
everyone sighs of releief. Then Ryoko gose to get a doughnut and their all gone.
Sonjia: I have a question. Have we yet to read a story where the correct "there" is used?
Jadarin: Nah, people nowadays seem to think that the three are interchangable.
"hey ayeka tenchi isnt going to like you if you get tooo fat" "right tenchi" says ryoko
hanging all over tenchi.
Jadarin: Oh my, Ryoko's split into two people again...
"Get off of me" yelled tenchi. "Leave
lord tenchi alone" said ayeka.
Sonjia: Jeez, makes it sound like she worships him or something.
ARRRRRrrgggggggggg washu yells If I have to listen to you two fight over tenchi agian
all EXPLOID!
Sonjia: There's that mysterious word again...
opps BOOM!!!!
Jadarin: Translation: The ops control went BOOM!
the house gose up into pices everyone inclouding Ryo-Ohki.
Jadarin: Ryo-Ohki got blown to pieces, too!
Sonjia: Ew.
they all flew sky high then kerplunk into the lake they all get out
of the lake and washu says "opps i guess the key word for blow up on my bomb was exploid
Sonjia: Well, it's always smart to have a keyword that isn't a real word.
sorry guys." By the time they where done getting dryed
off grandfather came down and said "what happend"
Jadarin: See, this really stupid fic was written. Results like this are to be expected.
"well see grandfather washu kinda blew up the house"said tenchi. ahhh i see well washu
are you really smart" said grandfather
Jadarin: She's so smart, she uses words like "exploid" and "gose" that we common people just
have no grasp of.
" yes im the smartest and the cutes person in the whole universie" said washu.
Sonjia: This just prompted a flashback to all those Issei fics with the adding of "y" to the
end of everything.
Jadarin (Issei): waht the F***CCCCKKK lets fighty the deavil with our swiords!!!!!!!!!
"Well Im afraid you will have to rebulid
the whole house" shure no problem *washu snaps her finger*
Sonjia: Ouch.
and the whole house appared like it was never touched.
Jadarin: Meaning all the fingerprints were gone from the scene. Ryoko was scott free.
"WOW" said grandfather as he stared in amazment. "Yes! I can cook 1,000,000,000 meals"
sasami says with overjoyment in her sparkling eyes.
Sonjia: Uh, yeah. Sure, you get right on that cooking of a billion meals...
"what do you mean" said tenchi. "look at the vechablie garden" said sasami.
Jadarin: I could make a joke about that if it bore any resemblance to an actual word.
OH WOW I guess the garden got effected by washu finger snaping trick" said tenchi
MEOW!!!!
Sonjia: The title of this show has now been changed from Tenchi Muyo! to Tenchi Meow!
said ryo-ohki as she was racing to the garden. "Oh no you don't" said tenchi grabing
the cabbit by her tail Ryo-ohki started to cry
Jadarin: Man, I'd cry, too, if I got grabbed by the tail. Uh, if I had a tail. Let's see...
(yanks Sonjia's tail)
Sonjia: OOOOWWWWWW!! (clobbers him)
when tenchi said "I will give you one carriot ay a time okay"
Jadarin: One carrion at a time!
Sonjia: Ryo-Ohki, the vulture cabbit.
MEOW!!! said ryo-ohki. so that night sasami spent 5 hrs cooking dinner.
Sonjia: She couldn't remember how to turn the stove on.
so they all chowed down for 1h even ryo-ohki.
Jadarin: I wonder what 1h means?
Sonjia: B7!
Jadarin: Crap! Sunk my battleship!
afterwards they all gave sasami a big troghy
Sonjia: A trough that read "Cooking Fit For Pigs".
that said The Best Cook Of The Whole Universie.
Jadarin: I thought that was Milly from Lost Universe.
Sasami started to cry with happyness and says thanks about 1,000,000 times after that
they all went to bed.
Sonjia (Sasami): Thank you, everyone!
Jadarin (everyone): ZZZZZ...
sasami fell asleep with a big smile and her trophey sat right next to her.
END
Sonjia: Okay, even though this one actually ended... the ending had nothing to do with the
story!
Jadarin: Well, if it really was Milly from Lost Universe it would. You know how something
blows up every time she cooks.
PREVIEW OF NEXT STORY
Sonjia: Oh, help us all. She wrote something else. If I find it, I'll be sure to hide it
where you can't find it.
Jadarin: It's not like there aren't others.
Looks like Ryoko and aeka and sasami and tenchi are going to have red faces as Ryoko
and Aeka finnaly try to addmit there true fellings for tenchi
Sonjia (Ayeka): Tenchi, I have fellings.
Jadarin (Tenchi): AH! Get her to the vet, quick!
IN :
No Need for true feelings
Jadarin: Yeah, since these MSTs need to remain appropriate, I can't say my true feelings about
them.
So what did you think if you want me to write more just R&R if I get 5 people to
review I will wright no need for feelings okay see ya.
Sonjia: The thing is, she wrote it, and she only had two reviews.
Jadarin: You know that authors like this never keep promises not to write any more.
Sonjia: Whoever wrote this story doesn't seem like she should be old enough to watch Tenchi,
anyway.
Jadarin: At least the show's not edited too badly, so people don't have anything too corny to
work with.
Sonjia: I'm shuddering to think of the Escaflowne fics to come, now that it's on TV.
Jadarin: "vahn got into eskalfonay and pulled out its BIG SECRET GUNS and BLEW UP those
basterds in the zyback empire! YESSSS!"
Sonjia: (cringe) My thoughts exactly.
This has been a presentation of Patches, the Good-Natured Lunatic, um, just because. I have
free time, and find bad fics, so gosh darn it, this is what I do with them!
Stinger: everyone says in unison "A BOMB RUN!!!!!!!!!". (
geocities.com/tokyo/harbor) (
geocities.com/tokyo)