Patches: Yay!
Sonjia: What are you doing here? You don't usually initiate these conversations...
Jadarin: This doesn't bode well...
Patches: Oh hush, you two. I finally found one!
Both: One...?
Patches: A really bad Escaflowne fic!
Jadarin: Ah...
Sonjia: Uh oh. Great, now you're BOTH supplying the fics? Not only do I have my brother
tormenting me, but I have the AUTHOR tormenting me now, too?
Patches: It's not that bad, is it?
Sonjia: ... Go away...
Patches: Right-o! I'll leave this to you two.
Jadarin: Better do what she says, Sonjia. She might kill you off in Gods' Blood...
Sonjia: Grr... I hate authors...
hey people i'm back and i just wanna let ya know i thought this story up in 2 minutes
Sonjia: Well, there goes my hopes for something slightly thought-out.
Jadarin: I wonder why people brag about "I didn't put any thought into this!"
and it's gonna be a little messed up so bear with me
Sonjia: Translation: It's not written in recognizable English.
and please no flames i'm sensitive.thanks
Jadarin (author): I'm going to blow up a building, but don't get mad, I'm "sensitive".
New Girl In Gea
Sonjia: Yeah, that girl's in gear!
Saria lay in the clearing in the middle of the forest.This was her most favorite
place in the whole world,
Jadarin: (kiddy) It was her most favoritest place in the whole wide world!
it was peaceful it was quite it would flame up in 30 seconds with one lit match!
Sonjia: o_O I'm even more afraid of this author now...
She came to
think, to dream,
Jadarin: To smoke, to bury animals, to-
Sonjia: Stop it.
to just lay there.Today was exeptionally specail
Jadarin: Because there was a sale at Sears!
she had a great feeling that the
leafs would win the stanley cup this year,they just had to!
Sonjia: Ah, she's Canadian, eh?
Saria breathed in with a great sigh longing for some action on the ice,
Jadairn: Since the only reason people watch hockey anymore is to see people beat each other up.
she was the goaltender
for her ice hockey team.
Sonjia: Meaning that she no longer had any teeth.
Hockey was her favorite sport she loved it,
Jadarin: Nah, it was her favorite and she hated it.
she would never make it through
the summer without playing street hockey at the very least.
Saria looked up and saw the something that you don't see every day,
Sonjia: Around here, that could be just about anything.
Jadarin: Good gods, it's a bird!
a beam of light was shooting
through the sky,it was shooting through the sky straight at her!
Jadarin: A tad redundant, eh?
Sonjia: So she just got struck by lightning. Woo hoo.
Saria got up and decided to run but
the beam got to her before she got out of the way.
Jadarin: Which is why you don't play hockey in an electric storm.
The beam sucked her up into the air she was
flying towards the sky!
Sonjia: This author is quite skilled at stating the obvious.
Jadarin: She just wants to make doubly sure that we know the sky is in the air.
The last thing she saw before there was a bright flash was her peaceful
forest drifting farther away.After the flash there was a flood of light
Sonjia: A flash of light and more light!
Jadarin: Does she really need to say everything twice, just worded differently?
Sonjia: Thank you, Mojo Jojo.
and she was careening towards
the ground beside a road.
Jadarin: (Mojo Jojo) And that road was on the ground, which was where she was falling, and
she was falling towards it, and there was a road there, near where she was falling...
Folken wasn't concentrating on anything
Sonjia: Since trying to do that with this story only results in headaches
until he heard an odd noise "aaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Sonjia: That would be me.
BAMMMMM!a loud thud was heard just up ahead of the road that the carraige folken just
so happened
to be riding in was headed
Jadarin: Wow, Folken was there, and a carriage was there, and he just happened to be in it!
Sonjia: I'm shocked.
"what the heck was that?"
Sonjia: The author chucking herself into her own little reality.
Jadarin: I hate blatant self-insertions.
Patches: Huh?
Both: -_-
Just down the road saria was crawling to her knees with nothing more damaged than the
wind knocked out of her.
Jadarin: As her brain wasn't important enough to her to consider the concussion "damage".
"*cough cough* what-the-hell-just-happened?" she gasped.
Sonjia: That's the strangest hyphenated word I've ever seen.
Jadarin: I like "owl-flavored" and "hat-proof" myself.
She heard something
coming up the road but was to winded to even look up.
Sonjia: And was therefore run over by a car.
Jadarin: Well, that's what ya GET.
Folken's carraige pulled to a stop right beside
her and he stepped out."well now what have we here?" he said looking down at her.
Sonjia: The author. Run for your life, Folken, before she makes you her slave.
Saria tried to
jump to her feet but fell down again she had fallen from the sky only 1 minute ago
Jadarin: And still counting. Now it's 1:03 ago... Now 1:04...
and she still
haddent cought her breath yet.
Sonjia: "haddent"? Oh man, that's awful...
Jadarin: First "you're" and "they're" disappear, and now the non-homonym contractions are dying.
She was surprised when a hand reached down to help her up.
Jadarin: But it was only a hand. It was Thing.
She took
it and was greatful when he helped her up to her feet and let her lean on him.
Both: groan... Not another one...
She finally
cought her breath and looked into her helpful strangers face "damn, you're fine!"
Sonjia: Well, to be so forward.
Jadarin: And because of this, he shall immediately fall in love with her.
she quickly
slapped her hand to her mouth.
Jadarin: I wanna slap her, too!
Sonjia: Don't go there.
she looked back
up and saw he had heard her."tell me what is your name my lady?" said folken to the very shaken
girl that he held in his arms.
Sonjia: Pleeeeease don't give him your full pen name. We'd be here for days.
"s-saria sir" she said unknowingly if he could trust him.
Jadarin: Meaning she didn't realize she just said her name.
Sonjia: Note that she referred to herself as "he".
Jadarin: ... There are some screwy things going on in this fic...
"you
wouldn't happen to come from the mystic moon would you?" he said
Sonjia (Saria): Do you start all conversations like this?
Jadarin (Folken): (Spanish) It's just that a man from the Mystic Moon slaughtered my father...
"uhhhhh mystic moon?" she had
absolutely no idea what he was talkin about.
Sonjia: For the most part, neither do we.
Folken pointed to the sky where she saw earth just
above her.
Sonjia: It was hovering a few feet above her head, ready to drop on her at any second.
"ummmm where in hell am I?" she asked
Jadarin: In the area for all the other self-insertion writers. It's where they naturally end up.
Sonjia: Have you actually seen them there?
Jadarin: Of course! I should show you sometime.
"you are in gea miss
Sonjia: Gea. What in the flying shiznit is "gea"?
Jadarin: A typo of "pea" perhaps?
please let me help you into
my carraige and I will answer any of your questions" he said.
Jadarin: And she was the third strange girl he'd picked up off the streets that day. That
man sure makes his rounds.
Sonjia: Must... resist... urge... to kill...
She looked at him she looked down and
caught sight of his sword
Sonjia: O_O
Jadarin: WHAT THE $&#* ARE YOU PEEKING AT, GIRL?!?!
Sonjia: ...No... No, that is just BADLY WORDED!
Jadarin: I think I'm probably going to take all comments from here to the end as suggestive
in nature. Of course, with wording like that, it's not that difficult...
"ummmm i have only one thing to say before i get in" "and that is?"
Sonjia: (slaps hand over brother's mouth) You are NOT going to say anything there.
Jadarin: (bites her hand)
Sonjia: GAAAAHHHH!
"you had better not try anything on me buddy otherwise i am gonna start spazzing and
kick you where the sun don't shine!got it!?"
Sonjia: Erk.... Wait, WAS she talking about.... that... all along?!
Jadarin: I doubt it, but it's just a deliciously ironic twist of wording, isn't it?
Sonjia: Only to you, bro, only to you.
Folken looked at her and quirked an eyebrow "ok whatever you
say" he thought.
Sonjia: Phsycho: The integration of Physics and Psychology, spawning the studies of the
psychological impacts of being hit on the head with a blunt object with varying force.
He helped Saria in and they drove off.
Sonjia: Pbph.. "Drove"?
Jadarin: Yee-haw! It's one of dem horseless carriages, missy!
Saria asked him every question immaginable as she was known for her quisitive nature
back on earth,
Jadarin: "Quisitive"?
Sonjia: Maybe "quizzical".
and to her surprise he answered them as if it were child's play.
Sonjia (Saria): What's 2+2?
Jadarin (Folken): Uh, four.
Sonjia (Saria): Wow, you know that?
They apparently reached
they're destination
Sonjia: Uh, yeah, apparently.
Jadarin: But were they sure?
and Folken climbed out helping her out after him when she got an evil idea.
Sonjia: This isn't going to have anything to do with his sword, is it?
Saria faked a trip on the stair and fell as she so well planned smack into his arms
Jadarin: Well, if this story took two minutes, the plan couldn't have taken more than a half
second.
"oh pardon
me i must have slipped" she said as he put her down.
Sonjia (Folken): You're an ugly little terd.
Jadarin: Yeah, THERE'S a put-down...
She looked up at where they were and saw a
floating ship-like thingy.
Jadarin: I am in awe of this description.
"uhhhh what is that?" she asked while staring at it "that is the zaibach
floating fortress,and where are going" he said.
Sonjia: I don't know. Where is this going?
Jadarin: Somewhere that will eventually probably even sicken me.
Sonjia: That's sad.
Saria watched as it came to the ground and a
teenager about her age stepped out and bowed "welcome back lord folken"
Jadarin: It was one of the other girls whom he'd picked up on his latest trip.
Folken looked at him and
nodded "thank you chesta,may i introduce you to this young lady here,
Sonjia: Please don't, or she'll hang all over him, too.
her name is Saria and she
is to be a guest here,she is from the mystic moon"
Jadarin: Although she never confirmed this.
chesta looked to get a better look "good
afternoon miss, i hope you find your stay an enjoyable one!" he said rather nervously.
Sonjia: Since they had been planning her murder all day.
Saria could
only nod her head she thought
Jadarin: And thus, she goes after a peek at Shesta's sword as well.
Sonjia: (puts her brother in a headlock) Shut up. Please.
Jadarin: Good enough. It's over.
Sonjia: Oh, good. Well, I see a short commentary here.
ok guys i know it's short but i'll post more very soon so keep checking
later!
Sonjia: ... MORE?!
Jadarin: She's going to hitch herself up with every guy in the show...
Sonjia: This is sad. It's a running theme in most self-insertions, though.
Jadarin: Just as long as she doesn't go after any more swords...
Sonjia: Would you just shut up about that? It was badly worded. BADLY WORDED. Nothing else.
Jadarin: Suuuuure...
Sonjia: I'm not listening to you anymore.
Jadairn: You say that a lot. Yet you never uphold the threat.
Sonjia: La la la la...
Jadarin: Then I guess I'll go see if I can find the "more" she was talking about.
Sonjia: O_O NOOOOOOO!!!
Stinger: she looked down and caught sight of his sword
Sonjia: -_-* You just HAD to bring it back up, didn't you?
(
geocities.com/tokyo/harbor) (
geocities.com/tokyo)