Except it seemed that magic took a slightly different form in our world. That form being a T-shirt with the name of the spell written on it. Taking the initiative, I selected a bright red shirt with the word "FIREBALL" printed boldly across it in yellow lettering. I tossed it at the villian, and it just draped over his head, like a normal shirt.

This did not dissuade me in any way, however. I simply chucked all the shirts I had at the bandits, and they just hit them like the useless pieces of fabric they were.

Noticing I had run out of ammo, I high-tailed it out the basement door into the yard, with the bandits close in pursuit.

And we never do figure out what happens at the end of these chases, since I always wake up before anything else happens. Such is life, ne?