For some people dating is just a recreational activity. For many others dating serves as a "pathway" to a more profound purpose - marriage. Dating is a mating game, with pitfalls of sorrow and propsects of joy. Depending on intent character and maturity, people approach it very differently. The results vary a lot, from tragedy, hurt, nothing, fondness to life-time partnership. It is always advisable to proceed with a sense of humor, curiosity, courage, wisdom, courtesy, patience, and persistence when approriate. Stay alert and know the situations you are in, because temptations are never too far away. Observe your date's intent character and practices. Dating is not just a romantic event, but also an examination, an interview for the job as a future spouse. So give your date a total checkup: not only the look, the voice, the move, the dress, the word, the car, but also check out the head, the source/management of money, emotional stability, integrity, and self-control towards the opposite sex. It's not going to be easy though, because it's very difficult for people to be honest as far as this romantic thing is concerned. It is observed that good and honest men might have more hard time in capturing mates. Unreliable ones may be good at it. It is a tricky thing, and they don't teach at school, not even at Harvard. You are very much on your own. Poor! At last, be a responsible lover (especially men). No matter what the outcome is, when there is a beginning, you owe your date a satisfactory ending (as simple as saying "goodby really" or "best wishes"). Don't just disappear! (especially when you/men had made some passionate moves) Remember that the opposite of love is hatred, and both could be very constructive and destructive as well. Just beware when playing with fire (of passion). Dating is both risky and fun. Given the tremendous potential in forming endless love, for heaven's sake it may be a good thing to ask for a date today (or help someone you adore to ask you). It is a human right. Don't be chicken! Your children are waiting ... |
| IT IS NEVER MEANT TO BE A PERFECT THING ...
Human beings all have weaknesses. Perfect spouses do not exist. Life has endless problems always. Meet a compatible and trustworthy person. Take time to pry (the other) and reveal (yourself), take time to understand each other, take time to withstand difficulties, take time to build a friendship and trust, and take time to develope the relationship. This is the price to be paid for true love. When the initial romantic phony feelings fade away, deeper true passions may begin to emerge. If and only if the person has passed the tests and is acceptable, then finally you can fall in love with this "imperfect" being (human animal) for life in happiness and annoyance from time to time. Dating is not just a romantic game, but also exercises of courage and wisdom in a person. Not everybody is adequately prepared for the game though. |
| What would be a marriage made in Heaven? It would be a marriage
that has three qualities. Adorability, trustworthiness, and
the will of heaven (Yuan).
It is adorability that brings two persons together in the beginning. They sense and enjoy the excitement and tender feelings when seeing each other. (Yet as we age, this might become less and less as a factor; and the next one may grow in importance.) It is the trust developed and established between the two that not only strengthens the closeness but helps to endure all the potential challenges to come. It is natural for adorability to fade as the two age. They will need the mutual trust to give that feelings of sweetness and tenderness the staying power. A broken trust is poisonous to the relationship. When the mutual trust is cherished and nurtured, everything together becomes profound, joyful, refreshing, and full of meaning. For a marriage to be made, it must have the blessings from she, he, and heaven. A marriage made in Heaven is envied by the darkness, and is prone to obstruction. It begins with sincere curiosity, proceeds with building a bridge, struggles with patience and persistence. Striving from the beginning to the end, this is a Yuan in the making. When it is all done and complete, a new pair of husband and wife is created. We call it "The Will of Heaven". Happiness often comes in a bittersweet fashion. Trying yet worthy. Isn't it? |
| How are you attracted to him? Beautiful body? Pleasures
of mind -- fame, wealth, social status, fun, sense of security?
Closeness of souls -- wisdom, compassion, courage, and an understanding
of true values?
Now he is young and beautiful, when he gets old and used would he still be attractive for you? Make up your mind early, and there will be less regret. Now he is the proud son of the world, successful active and strong. If he stumbled and declined, would you still find it pleasurable around him? Make up your mind early, and there will be less distress. Beginning with naive ignorance, selfish love, and timidity, he has grown into the realm of wisdom compassion and courage. He gets older and wiser. His heart has been broken and repaired with grace. He has never had the true sense of security. He has realized that in reality there is no such a thing. He has learned not to fear the fear. He has chosen to place soul above beautiful body and worldly mind. He has walked on a less traveled road. When he came across someone on the same road, he felt the excitement and the sense of closeness. Wsidom and compassion are his companions and teachers. He sees the timeless beauty and fun. Four sesons rotate. Day and night shift. Solid and consistent. Would this kind of qualities excite you? |
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A friend wrote some really good thoughts: |
