Stanley's Diary

Today is October 16th, time just fly likes a rocket, it has been a full month already since the first met her. To celebrate this special day, I prepared 1&1/2 dozen chocolate roses, matched with some purple iris in the front, and wrapped in apple green paper. Although I couldn't able see it in person (I went to the florist on 3 days ahead to order it and chosen the flowers and packing) I can imagine it should be beautiful and lovely. :) I can count how many times I buy flowers for gals, still feel embarass and shame to do it......:) But I enjoy to do so, coz I can imagine the moment when she receive it in surprise and imagine how sweet she feel inside. I know she is so used to receive flowers, but I wish that this is different. Coz this is the first time I send her flowers on the first-month anniversary. :) In the evening, we dine at the Swiss restaurant and we had a great moment, dine and talk very relaxing (besides we did talked the unhappiness on my work in the daytime!) One more thing which is very special to me......I pray before the meal. Gee, I really can remember when was the last time I pray! She must be my angel! I wish that there will be thousands of monthly anniversary with her to go......
till the day our lives end!

October 16, 2000 (Monday)

Hi Geocities! It has been a year I didn't think of edit my ugly homepage. Not even so care of Yahoo acquired geocities and made it so comlicated to login as old member and need to read HELP to find the way to get into the File Manager. What a Yahoo!!! Well well, what happened in the past year? I was back to CTI in December 99. Time really flys, almost a year then. What I have achieved? Shame to admit that......nothing. Nothing good I have done but go through a big circle. Ashamed! It's a mirage that I got a stable career, a good path for my future. But in fact, I am just go round the circle. Work busily everyday but without any progress for my career. Though I work so hard and devoted into it. I feel so insecured everyday......feeling tired and have to handle all sorts of disappointments. Wanna give up. So miss the good old days and buddies in the States. :( What else besides work? Relationship-wise, another shame......tried to commit myself into the new relationship, but eventually failed again. I hate to blame on whoever. It's just didn't work out. I don't wanna waste her time on me, and so I chosen to be the bad guy.....:( Sorry girl! Wishing her all the best and meet her true one soon. This truly from my heart! I thought I won't fall into any relationship for at least a year after the breakup, but thing happen not as I could planned......I met this "her" I met from for just 3 weeks backward from now. In a special occasion of my good old friend's coffee shop grand opening party. in the past 504 hours, we spent at least an hour to 4 hours on the phone everyday, watched 4 movies, dinner 4 times (if I can recall it right) It just goes so natural and good. In the stage of depression of my career, thanx to the Lord for granted me the pleasure and happiness to meet her. May I believe in it? I cannot deny......I am feeling so strongly and true that, I am falling in love again......

October 9, 2000 (Monday)

Haha, it has been another 7 months I didn't update this page huh, Well, in fact I not only didn't update this online diary, but I quitted writing diary too. Well, I forgot when I started think this way...... Life is an on-going journey, Yesterday's happiness or sadness is past, and we can do nothing to change the reality. Like to old song by Little Texas - What might have been. I definitely agree with what the song says. If what happened is really so unforgetable, we will always remember it even without writing it down, and on the other hand, if you can forget it by time, that mean it's not so unforgetable and meaningful then. So why diary? This is life and the way of living I guess. :(

July 17,1999. (Sat)

Jesus, I have almost 3 months didn't put any words on this page already. Shame! In fact, in the past 3 months, I was really very very busy everyday, but it was full of proudness and excitements! I maintained my status as the Top Sales of the department for 3 months consecutively. I of course very happy and proud of myself, but on the other hand, I have to handle many many "red-eyes" and stupid people too! I really hated the people who just know to jealous of others, I feel shame of those pity folks! They seem never understand, it's no use to compare to the others, just do their best and that's good enough! Anyway, that's life I guess, Smart people will always let others jealous! :) I just wish that I can do better in 1999 then!

December 20, 1998 (Sunday)

Wow, it's another month already. What have I done in the past one month time? It seems like I have experienced so much, on the other hand, I feel nothing achieved at all, life is still very boring and suck! Working hard everyday, playing politics, make me feel so tired of handling people, and seem that no one can be trusted at all! That's sad! :( What I wanted for personal life is still a big quetsion mark, I dunno when it will be solved. I wish one day I can tell the world proudly: "I find it" soon!

September 20, 1998 (Sunday)

It has been a long time I didn't update my homepage, since I joined this company, my life has changed alot, both in social life and my personal attitude. Am I happy? I really dunno. I just know, in overall, I believe I am much more happier than before, and I finally can escape from the "cage", the cage that I locked myself up for almost 2 years. But on the opposite, there were two co-workers told me one thing,......They told me that they have never see me laugh when I am at work. Well, maybe they are right, I actually am not so satisfy with my job, but I just appreciated that the workload can allow me have no time to think so much, and I can ignore my feeling inside, just work, work and work. In fact, I should highly appreciate one of my co-worker, who absolutely helping me escape from the past, and guiding me towards a new direction of life. Merci!

August 16, 1998. (Sunday)

Gee, counting the days, I have only 9 days left for my first module paper......I really wonder if I can finish it on time or I can do a good job this time. It has been almost 2 years that I left college. It is really a challenge for myself......Now, i really admire those people who work hard and still have the patience and energy for part-time further education, I really feel shame that I may not be the type......:( Amen!

July 11, 1998. (Satuarday)

"Good bye Keith and Shirley, See Ya in Austrilia then!" Tonite, my second brother and his wife finally leave us and and gonna begin their new journey of life. I personally feel happy for them actually, coz Hong Kong is 100% no doubt NOT a good place for living anymore! Of course, my whole family go to the airport and say goodbye to them. Very interestingly, I find that there are so many people who are not boarding, or farewell to their family or friends, but for the AIRPORT! Coz in less than a week, the old Kai Tak Airport will be replaced by the new Chek Yap Kok Airport in Lantau Island. To me, I feel nothing special at all! Coz I never never liked Airport or Airplane!

June 28, 1998 (Sunday)

Finally, my Master programme started today. That's why I am so tired now. Coz I have been sitting in lecture from 8:30am to 7:45pm, almost 12 hours! Glad that the schedule is not like this everyday, only the weekends are full day lecture. Otherwise, Gee, I really don't know if I can stand with it for at least 2 years more to go. But I am sure this programme will benefits me alots in many means.

May 31, 1998.

Wow, I am the king of the world!!!!! Jesus, I am so so so excited and happy today, coz I guess my luck was damn unbelievablely good......This afternoon, I have an appointment with one of my client, who is a G.M. of a Finland based international corporation of Asia. Actually, the main purpose of the appointment is to sell him my company's Long D. services, but eventually, it turned out he asked me if I wanna join his corp. The reason is, I used to work in his field while I was in U.S., besides, he believe my prevoius China trade experiences will help him alots in developing the China market. Of course, I won't take his offer unless he offer me a real great package. The second thing caused me so happy is...... I talked to my Sales Director tonite and asked for company sponsorship for my Master program. He basically agreed and he personally will fully support my action. Gee, you know what? I just joined them for only 2 weeks......Hahaha......Dammit! Can you believe that? i really can't deny, i was just always too lucky in my career, always have the great connections and human networks......What can I say besides "Thanx God!"?

May 25, 1998. (Monday)

Finally, my "Long Vacation" is over! Today is the first day I start my new job. In fact, I still feel kinda uncertain if I should take this offer, or I should wait longer and see if I can find a better job? On the first day, I make two mistakes, 1>I wear a blue skirt, but then I find that the company dress code require male employee wear pure white skirt and deep color suit. Jesus! I don't like that! 2>I almost fall alseep when I am in the training by the senior. Anyway, that's life, my heart still have to go on.

May 11, 1998. (Monday)

What's so special of the second sunday of May each year? Sure that's a important day, coz it is the Mother's Day! Since one of my brother need to attend his friend's wedding on sunday, so we celebrate it one day in advance. As usual, we booked a room and arranged the dinner a week ago. We get there at the afternoon and we play manjong with our mommy until dinner. Of course, she is the winner today. Moreover, one of my brother also bought her a TV-VCR combo, and retire her old one. Of course our mommy is very satisfy with all our arrangements. Actually, I believe in every mother's mind, where you bring her to dinner or what you present her, is not important at all. She is happy simply because all of her sons, daughters-in-law and her grandson are all together and celebrate with her with our love.

May 9, 1998. Satuarday

Today, I am very happy. Coz I finally received "someone's" a sincere email. I have been waiting to "communicate" with her for so long. Before, we have too much misunderstanding and we were just ignored the other for almost a year. That's why I am so happy that we finally can break the ice and communicating again. Besides that, I used Netmeeting and talked to two of my buddies at the States for almost 2 hours. Although we haven't seen each other for almost 1 and half year, I am so glad that our feeling is still the same. I guess that's call true friendship then! By the way, It is really a greatest software. Besides it can help people save alot on long distance charges, the sound quality is quite good too.

May, 7, 1998. Thursday

Gosh, today I meet one old friend of mine occasionally in a cafe. We haven't seen each other for almost 5 years already. When I first see him sitting at next table , I am kinda unsure if he is my friend, so I call one of my other friend who still keep in touch with him closely and ask him to call his cellular. Few seconds later, his phone rings, then he starts look around and finally he see me. He then comes to me and sit down. What so amazing is......his partner who sit back toward me turn around too, and Jesus, she is our old classmate too. Well, I even didn't know they have just begun in love. That's so amazing! I just can't believe that they will be together......That's really a surprise!

May 5, 1998. Tuesday