Reply at akun16@hotmail.com 
(Turn off the lights and watch as your screen explodes in
3....2....1....just kidding.)

	Hey there, everyone.  I'd just like to say that in this
series, I'm only C&Cing and making witty comments.  I don't,
in any way, mean offense to any of the authors or
original show Mystery Science Theater 3000, who have spent
hours on end working to make this idea possible to form in
my head.
	My anime friends are from these worlds: MST 3K (I have
to use Cambot after all!), Sailor Moon, El Hazard, Ranma
1/2.
	Please don't sue me!
	Enjoy! ^_^;

(This might be a bit difficult to sing...)

There was a senior in high school named A-kun,
He had two brothers who worked at M.H.I,
One day they brought him in to clean up the place,
But they didn't like the job he did so they shot him into
space...

(Hey!  You can't do this!  I know people!  REAL people!)
(Yeah, but they're the ones paying us to do this!
WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

We'll send him cheesy fanfics,
The worst we can find! (lalala)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
and we'll monitor his mind! (lalala)

Now keep in mind A-kun can't control
where the fanfics begin or end. (lalala)
Because he used those special parts
to summon his anime friends!

Anime Roll Call:
Cambot! (Pan left.)
Ami Mizuno! (Hi there!)
Ifurita! (What is the purpose of this?)
Ranmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...(I'm DIFFERENT!)

If you're wondering how he eats and breathes,
and other science facts, (lalala)
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a show,
I should really just relax!
For Mystery Anime Theater 2000...

[In space, a giant stapler is floating over Earth.  This is
the Satelite of Anime.  We enter...]
	[There's a brown haired young man who looks like he
really shouldn't be in high school.  He turns to Cambot and
us.]

A-kun: Hello, and welcome to the Satelite of Anime.  I've recently been purged of my most of my hatred towards Shampoo, but some lingers.   Anyhoo, we're all awaiting the arrival of what my friends have decided should be a semi-annual "new commentator" or something like that.  We'll have a guest on the satelite who'll help us comment.  Like that'll be of any use.

Ami: [off-camera] A-kun, get back to cleaning!

A-kun: [frowning] I'm done cleaning.

Ami: [arriving on the bridge] You are?

A-kun: Yeah.

Ranma and Ifurita [also arriving on the bridge]: We're done too.

Ami: Well then, all we have to do is...

	[The MADs light begins flashing.]

A-kun: Here's our punishment.

Ami: Hush, A-kun.

	[Ami pushes the button]

[Deep Throat 4]

Dr. Matheus: Hello there, A-kun.  Hope you aren't turning into some grotesque monster again.

[SOA]

A-kun: [rolling his eyes] I'm fine.  Now, who's going to be joining us this time?

[DP4]

Dr. Matheus: Well, since you demanded it, your new commentator is none other than......Pantyhose Tarou!

	[Pantyhose Tarou walks up next to Dr. Matheus and sneers.]

PT: Long time no see, Fem-boy!

[SOA]

Ranma: Same to you, PANTY.

A-kun: I never demanded him.

[DP4]

PT: [growling] When I get my hands on you...

Dr. Matheus: Now, now.  Your fanfic today, A-kun, is a fanfic called "A Very Unusual Day" by Emily Siazon.  Enjoy it while it lasts.

	[Danny Boy presses the button to send Pantyhose Tarou and the fanfic up to the satelite.]

[SOA]

	[The sirens go off.]

All: We've got FANFIC SIGN!!!

	[The MAT 2K crew runs to their access ports.  Cambot floats forwards into the passage leading to the theater as the dogbone door opens.]
	[Door 6: It's a fire breathing dragon off a sentai show.  You take a super-soaker and hose down the pilot light so the flame dies.  You move on.]
	[Door 5: It's a chocobo from the Final Fantasy series.  It chirps at you and you hop on.]
	[Door 4: It's an alligator that eats your chocobo.  You leap off in time.]
	[Door 3: You are so depressed from the death of the chocobo that you accidentally pass the shower altogether.]
	[Door 2: It's a bunch of bad poets.  You hose them with machine gun fire and your spirits rise.]
	[Door 1: It's a vault door that opens for you.]
	[Ifurita enters first, followed by Ami, A-kun and Ranma.  They sit in that order.]

A-kun: Hey, where's Pantyhose Tarou?

Ranma: Oh...he met with an untimely accident on the way up.  Hehehehehehehe...

	[Ami, Ifurita and A-kun move away from Ranma.]

>"Emily Siazon" 

Ami: I know Emily's REAL e-mail address!  You're an imposter!

Ifurita: [checking Ami's auto-e-mailer] Nope, she's the real one.

Ami: D'OH!

>AUTHORS NOTES:

A-kun: Hey!  These are NOT my notes!

Ranma: It's HER notes.

A-kun: Oh.

>       This is a lemon scented fanfic.Those of you who are >bothered by
>  these type of stories should not read it.

Ami: WOOHOO!! Free day!

	[Ami stands up.]

Ifurita: Ami, sit down, before I hurt you.  We all suffer together.

	[Ami sits down and remains quiet.]

>       All characters are owned by Rumiko >Takahashi,Shogakukan Inc.,and Viz
>  Communications Inc.
>       Send comments and criticism to >emily9@bellatlantic.net

	[The MAT 2K crew laugh evilly.]
  >***********************************************************>**************

Ranma: Dammit!  I thought it didn't snow in space!

Ami: That's dandruff.

	[A-kun and Ifurita, who have been catching flakes on their tongues, immediately begin spitting and coughing.]

>                               A VERY UNUSUAL DAY

Ranma: Yes it is.  Very unusual to have Sepvemurday.

	[A-kun, Ami and Ifurita stare at Ranma, then shake their heads.]

>                              ********************

A-kun: Ugh!  Why is there so much dandruff?!!
 
>       It is another beautiful day in Nerima,Tokyo.Sounds 

Ami: Like the author is going to make it a s#*tter.

A-kun and Ranma: AMI!

>of fighting can
>  heard at the Tendo Dojo as Ranma and his father Genma go >through their
>  daily morning sparring session.

Ranma: [using a machete, Ranma cuts through the sparring session]  Damn Sparrings!  They're like Thread, dammit!
 
>       "So boy,"Genma said as he avoided a kick aimed at >his head.

Ifurita: [lowering her 'Kick' gun] Damn, can't quite seem to hit him.

>"What do
>  you plan to do with Akane today?"

Ami: [to Ranma] I'll let you do whatever you want with Akane, so long as you do it twice as long with me!

>       "Huh?"Ranma asked wittily as he did a backflip to >avoid Genma's
>  counter attack.

Ranma: [rolling his eyes] THAT'S specific.

>       "Kasumi is going away for the weekend to attend a 

A-kun: conference for Housewives who want to kill old farts who sit around the house doing nothing.

Ami: Is it for prevention?

Ranma: No, they're encouraging it.

>wedding and Nabiki
>  is staying over a friend's house.Tendo-kun and I made >plans to go out
>  drinking so you're all alone tonight."

All: THERE'S a surprise.
 
>       "Why are you going out?"Ranma asked as he delivered 

Ifurita: A UPS package on time.

Ami: A pie to Ukyou.

A-kun: A pizza to 90210-0235.

Ranma: A shipment of Gremlins to a certain place in New York.

>a flying kick,

Ranma: Not likely.  Those things are INCREDIBLY heavy.

>  barely missing his father.

Ranma: Barely?  Try not at all.  It's Kasumi, Nabiki and mom that I miss.  I mean, Kasumi's great cooking, Mom's smile and Nabiki's attempts to trick me while sharpening my wits.

>"Why don't you just get drunk at home like you
>  do everynight?"

Ami: [Genma] Then we'll interfere with the plot!  FOOLISH BOY!
 
>       "Foolish boy!You should be glad at the chance to >spend more time
>  with Akane."

Ranma: [Ranma] I'm not!

>Genma shouted.Then to Ranma's surprise,he stopped fighting

All: And just died!

>  and leaned close to whisper,"Don't do anything I wouldn't >do."

A-kun: [confused] Which would limit Ranma to......what?

>As he
>  gives his son a suggestive wink.

Ranma: Any respect I ever had left for my father has now gone where not even Kami-Sama dares go.

Ami: Gendo Ikari's bathroom?

Ifurita: Largo's mind?

A-kun: Jinnai Katsuhiko's underwear drawer?  The one that not even the Bugrom will touch?

>       Ranma stands there in shock,

Ranma: Of course, Sailor Jupiter was blasting the crap out of me!

>turning redder with each passing second
>  as his father's comment ran through his head.

A-kun: [Ranma] aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!  DAMMIT, DAD!! PUT THAT RED-HOT POKER ELSEWHERE!!!

>Genma decides to take

Ranma: My breakfast?

>  advantage of his distracted son

A-kun: [shuddering] That's sick.

Ranma: YOU'RE sick!

A-kun: With a sister like mine, who wouldn't be?

ACs: True.

>by throwing Ranma towards the pond.

	*SPLOOSH*
	[The MAT 2K crew is drenched, thanks to Dr. Matheus's recent addition.]

>       Ranma-chan got out of the pond angrily."Whacha >do_that_ for?"

All: Cliche, cliche, cliche.

>She
>  shouted as she threw her father to the pond she had >recently occupied.

	*SPLOOSH*
	[The MAT 2K crew is drenched again.]

All: Cliche, cliche, cliche.
 
>       "Growf!"was the panda's only reply.

Ifurita: That and a sound heard in unison with it.

Ami: [flipping Genma the birdie] Well, "Growf!" to you too, buddy.
 
>       Ranma-chan angrily stalks towards the dining room >and notices that
>  everyone else had already started eating.

Ifurita: Hey, Ranma, why are you usually the last one to the breakfast table if you and your dad wake up extra early to train.

Ranma-chan: We train until pops drops dead or hears the word "Breakfast".

>Akane is talking about her
>  upcoming skating match while Nabiki counts how much yen >she's got and
>  Soun floods the room with his tears.

	*SPLOOSH*
	[The MAT 2K crew is drenched once more.]

Ifurita: I wanna know how he can cry and eat.

Ami: Or how Akane can eat and talk at the same time without practically spitting her food out.

Ranma-chan: At least NABIKI is doing something that's possible.

A-kun-chan: Hey, Soun just reminded me of a song.  Know it?  [The ACs nod] And a one, and a two, and a [singing a song from 'The Little Mermaid'] %Up on land, they slave all day%

Ifurita: [singing] %While down here we play away%

Ranma-chan: [singing] %Trust me it's better, down where it's wetter%

Ami: [singing] %Under the seeaaaaa...%

	[Ranma, A-kun and Ifurita shake their heads.]

Ranma-chan: Wrong line, Ami.

Ami: Then what should the line be?

	[The trio just look at her.]

Ami: What?  Tell me!

Ranma-chan: Listen to my line again in your head.

Ami: [thinking for a bit].....YOU PERVERTS!!
 
Ranma-chan, Ifurita and A-kun-chan: NOW you've got it.

Ifurita: Hey, our comments alone can make this a 'XXX' rated story.

>       "Oh my youngest daughter,I'm so proud!"He wailed.

Ami: [shaking her head] Why is he always wailing and bawling?  I mean, if he doesn't hold a grudge against giant sea mammals, it's against inanimate wooden pins.

A-kun-chan: When did you get so witty?

Ami: Heh-heh-heh.

>       Ranma-chan chose to ignore him as she inhaled the >food on her plate

Ranma-chan: What? I'm suddenly a drug user?

Ifurita: No, you merely inhale the smells of the sumptious banquet that Kasumi has so graciously prepared for you.

>  before her father gets a chance to steal it.

Ranma-chan: Or sell me to another fiancee for it.

>After she finished,she
>  grabs a kettle of water and pours it on herself before >running after
>  Akane who was already on her way to school.

	[*SPLOOOOOSH*  The MAT 2K Crew get splashed with hot water.]

A-kun: HEY!  Ranma eats eighty-five times faster than Akane, so why does he always have to run after Akane?
 
>       They surprisingly made it to school with lots of >time to spare.

Ami: Not just surprising, it means trouble.

>  Akane walks towards her friends while Ranma tries to find >a seat next to
>  his friends Hiroshi and Daisuke who were already deep in >conversation.

Ifurita: Lunch time already?

	[The MAT 2K crew shrug their shoulders.]
 
>       "Is it just me?"Hiroshi asked

Ifurita: [pointing] See?  I'm not the only one who noticed!

> as he turned towards Daisuke,"Or is
>  Akane getting cuter?"

All: [in unison] It's just you.
 
>       "Definitely,"Daisuke answered."And she's filled out 

Ranma: Her tax claims early.

A-kun: [Hiroshi] She did?  HUBBA-HUBBA!

>nicely since the
>  start of the year."

Ranma: [frowning] You know, I can't even remember a New Year's Temple visit.  Ever.  That's weird, isn't it?

Ami: That's nothing.  I have an excessively sketchy memory.  I have almost no memories before I was fourteen and moved to Juuban District and even then, I could only remember days where I fought monsters.
 
>       Both boys turn towards Akane,drooling.

A-kun: Because she's eating Kasumi's cooking, while poisoning P-chan with HER cooking.

>They hear someone clearing
>  their throat and both turn around at the same time to see 

All: SUPERMAN!

>a slightly
>  annoyed Ranma.

Ranma: Oh, it's just me.
 
>       "Drooling over Akane again?"

Ami: [Ranma] Look, if you want her, just take her.
 
>       "Why should you care,Ranma?"Hiroshi asked."I thought >you didn't like
>  her."

Ranma: I don't.  Just stop that disgusting drooling.  Brrr.
 
>       "She finally got to you,huh?"Daisuke said,watching 

Ifurita: Baywatch as Pamela Anderson starts doing jumping-jacks for no apparent reason.

A-kun and Ranma: Bouncy, bouncy-*POW*

	[Both go flying into the theater wall.]

>Ranma's face
>  closely which was starting to turn red.

Ifurita: Because 'Little Ranma' is moving.

Ranma: [muffled by the wall] HEY!

	[Ranma and A-kun pull themselves out of the wall and sit down in their seats.]

>"SO, have you done_it_yet?"

All: [in the Borg Tone] We have, but the Ranma unit in this story has not.  We are the Critics.  Bad Fanfiction is futile.  You WILL be criticized.
 
>       "No way!"Ranma replied as he desperately tried to >think of a way to
>  change topics.

Ranma: [Borg tone] Here's one.  "How about those Cubs, uh?"
 
>       "Bet you've thought about it,though."

Ifurita: Talk about recycling dialogue.

A-kun: No kidding.
 
 >      "No!"Ranma exclaimed,turning even redder.

Ami: [Daisuke] That's okay, Ranma.  _WE'RE_ the freaks of the school, remember?
 
>       "Yeah right!"Both boys remarked with a smirk.

A-kun: One smirk between them?
 
>        Luckily for Ranma,the bell rang stopping the two >boys from asking
>  any more questions.

Ranma: Is THIS a sign of the end of the world?  People randomly freezing in place?

A-kun and Ifurita: We are not allowed to say.

>The rest of the school day passed out

A-kun: The school day must be related to Hikaru Gosunkugi.

> uneventfully
>  with Ranma sleeping through all his classes,only waking >up once to eat
>  his lunch.

Ranma: Thank kami-sama my counter-part is comatose for large sections of this story.

>                                   ***
>       Ranma was walking home alone,minding his business 

Ami: [Toni the Tiger] Which was doing GRRRRREAT!

	[Ranma, A-kun and Ifurita roll their eyes.]

>when he heard
>  a bicycle bell ring over his head.

A-kun: The sounds of the bells, bells, bells...*THWAP*

Ami: Stop quoting Edgar Allan Poe.

>He looked up just in time to see a
>  bicycle tire two inches from his face.

Ranma: FROM my face?  More like two inches INTO my face.
 
>       "Nihao,Ranma!"Shampoo yelled cheerfully.

A-kun: [Ranma] Ah, Shampoo, hehehehehehehe, how...NICE to SEEEEEE you, hehehehehehehahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA BWAAAAAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

	[The Anime Characters back away from the cackling Author.]
 
>       "Get off me!"Ranma yelled back not so cheerfully.

A-kun: As he sprayed her bike with Machine Gun fire...

Ami: [to Ranma and Ifurita] Should we be worried?

Ifurita: I don't know.  He was like this about Shampoo BEFORE.
 
>       Shampoo moves her bike and Ranma quickly gets up >with tire marks on
>  his face.

Ranma: And I promptly collapse in the street.

Ami: Why?

Ranma: From disgust.  What else would I pass out from?  After all, it's Shampoo.
 
>       She takes a bowl of ramen from the back of her bike 

A-kun: [Shampoo] I find this in gutter next to kitchen.

Ifurita: For those who don't know, that's A-kun's opinion of her cooking skills.

>and hands it to
>  Ranma."Wife make lunch."

Ami and Ranma: *snort* As if he'd/I'd actually EAT that.
 
>       Ranma reaches for the bowl but a giant spatula gets >in her way.

A-kun: [Ukyou] YOU MORON!

Ranma: [Ranma, noticing Shampoo] Aw, S#!+!  I almost actually ATE that!
 
>       "Ran-chan,what do you think you're doing?You should >know by now
>  that any food she gives you has some kind of mind >altering herb in it."

Ranma: That's right.
 
>       "What stupid spatula girl talking about?"Shampoo >asked as she glared
>  at Ukyo."Shampoo do no such thing!"

	[The MAT 2K crew glared at Shampoo.]

All: Shampoo HAS done such a thing.
 
>       Ryoga suddenly appears from around the corner >looking very tired and
>  hungry.

Ami: I see where this one is going.

A-kun: I knew where it was going the instant 'Ryoga' appeared on the screen.

>He sees the bowl of ramen Ukyo and Shampoo are fighting >over and
>  quickly snatches it from their grasp.

Ami: [Ryouga] As if I'm going to-
 
>       "You guys are life savers!"he exclaimed as he >devoured the food in
>  2.5 seconds.

	[*FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP*]

Ranma: [Ryouga] UGH!  What's IN this stuff?

Ami: [Shampoo] Shampoo make Ramen Chili-style.

>He sets the bowl down on the sidewalk and momentarily looks
>  confused until he sees Ukyo and Shampoo.

All: UH-OH!
 
>       "Finally!"Ryoga shouted,"I have found two women whom >I truly love."

All: AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
>       He starts to run towards Ukyo and Shampoo who shriek >in alarm after
>  seeing Ryoga's lust filled eyes and runs off with Ryoga >not too far
>  behind.

Ifurita: They're both in trouble.  Ryouga can probably do Mach 3 when he's got LUST in his eyes.

Ami: Actually, shouldn't he still be stumbling around?  It IS _LUST_ and _LUST_ is like sand.
 
>       "Well,"Ranma said with a smile,"I guess I don't have >to worry about
>  those three chasing me today."

Ranma: Yeah, you just have to watch out for Chernobyl exploding in the background.

>                                   ***
>       Ranma sat on the couch as he aimlessly changed >channels.

Ranma: A VERY UNUSUAL DAY!  I become Captain Lard-Ass!

>He had been
>  home for an hour with no one to talk to and nothing to >do.He was bored
>  out of his mind.

Ranma: So a lot like a normal day.
 
>       He didn't stay bored very long however,when Shampoo >entered,creating
>  a new doorway to the Tendo home.

Ranma: And SHE'S the second cause of all the repair needed for the Tendo Dojo.
 
>      "Wasn't Ryoga chasing you?"He asked

A-kun: [Shampoo] Yes, but he stop suddenly, clutch stomach and run into bathroom.  Woman's bathroom.  Shampoo never know Ryouga such good cross-dresser.  Shampoo no could tell before.
 
>      "Stupid pig boy get lost trying to follow >Shampoo.Probably in China
>  by now."

Ami: So, basically, Ryouga just did his usual thing?  Uh-uh.  With LUST, you can't be lost so easily.
 
>      "Probably."

A-kun: Now, just shoot her and end the fanfic.
 
>      "Oh!"Shampoo squeled,"Shampoo almost forgot to give >husband cookies!"

All: [deadpanned] Of course.

>  She handed him a large plate of heart shaped cookies >which he eyed
>  suspiciously.

Ranma: As he glanced at Akane's cooking...
 
>      "These better not be drugged."He said.

Ifurita: Hey, I just had a brain-storm.  Ask her if she would go get you some milk to go with it and if she DOES leave, toss the cookies into the pond.  After all, the world can never have enough fish.

Ami: What if she doesn't leave?

Ifurita: Then tell her that you'd just 'LOVE' a 'GLASS' of milk.

>  some...Nah,with Shampoo who would be able to tell the >difference.>

Ami: Um...........
A-kun: Um...........
Ranma: Um...........
Ifurita: Um...........
 
>      He was still busy thinking of a way to find out if >the cookies were
>  drugged when Ryoga entered through the new doorway >Shampoo made and
>  chased a very surprised Shampoo away.

All: Hmmm, perhaps we have an ally....
 
>      A couple of minutes later,an angry looking Akane >walks into the
>  house ripping the door of its hinges.

A-kun: I'm beginning to believe Ranma about Akane doing most of the damage to the house.
 
>      Ranma took one look at her and thought his eyes were >going to fall
>  out of its sockets.She was still wearing her skintight >skating outfit
>  which accentuated her firm,curvacious body.

Ranma: In fact, I was more than surprise to find out that Tsubasa had more curves on his body!  BLEAH!
 
>      Ranma couldn't keep himself from staring as she told >him about the
>  lech who glomped onto the whole Furinkan Skating Team >only to be
>  stopped by his green haired girlfriend who fried him to >oblivion.

All: [Pause]  Furinkan Skating Team?  Akane is on the Furinkan Skating Team?

>Luckily
>  for Ranma,Akane was too busy complaining to notice his >reaction to her
>  outfit.

	[Ranma barfs.]
 
>      Akane took a cookie as she told him that the match >has been
>  postponed and took a huge bite before the distracted >Ranma could stop
>  her.

All: I saw this coming from a mile away, but AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHH!!!
 
>      Her eyes clouded over for a couple of minutes,a look >of

All: Total stupidity....

Ami: I'm disgusted that _I'M_ the only girl with blue hair that actually has BRAINS.

Ifurita: Ahem.

Rei Ayanami, Sasami, Tsunami and TV's Yuri: [Appearing] Ahem.

Ami: Okay, _WE'RE_ the only girls with blue hair that actually have BRAINS.

Ifurita: Thank you.

Rei Ayanami, Sasami, Tsunami and TV's Yuri: Thank you. [Disappearing]

> confusion on
>  her face until her eyes focused on Ranma.

All: BLEAH!
 
>      Ranma noticed the look on her eyes and could only >think
>  before he was glomped by a lust filled Akane.

Ranma: MAKE IT STOP!!

Ifurita: WARNING!  BAD PLOT POINT!  CIRCUITS SHORTING OUT!

A-kun: BRAIN FRYING!  TWIX MISSING!  NO SNICKERS!  [smoke begins flowing out his ears.]

Ami: BLEAH!!!
 
>      "Why don't we go upstairs."She suggested huskily.

All: ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! STUPID PLOT!
 
>      Ranma gulped and said,"N-No thanks.I...um...have to >go work out in
>  the dojo."

A-kun: Uh-huh.  'WORK OUT' about Ukyou, eh?
 
>      "But I'll give you a_much_better workout."She replied >as she pressed
>  her body closer to his.

Ami: [Ranma] No thanks, I've lost my lunch and I don't need THAT kind of a workout.
 
>      Ranma felt his nose start to bleed and he quickly >clamped his nose
>  shut as he slowly backed away.

Ami: Unfortunately, that was from where Kuno whacked him.

Ranma: Kuno's a hitman?
 
>      "I hab to go dow!"He shouted as he slammed the door >in her face

All: THANK KAMI-SAMA!

> and
>  quickly ran towards the Nekohanten to get the antidote.
>  When he got there,the only person he found was Mousse who >was getting
> ready to serve the dinner crowd.He quickly grabbed the >chinese boy by the
>  shirt and started shaking him.

Ami: Shaking up the mousse can be dangerous.

Ifurita: Mousse, not the stuff for your hair, Ami.

Ami: AAAAAH! Now, it makes sense!
 
>      "Give me the antidote for the passion spice."He >demanded.

A-kun: Mousse, Ranma, Mousse.  This poor boy can't see a sign two feet in front of him.
 
>      "I don't know where it is."Mousse replied calmly as >he extracted
>  himself from Ranma's grasp."Only the old mummy and >Shampoo knows but
>  they're not here."

Ifurita: [Mousse] It's Bridge night.  You should know that by now.
 
>      "Damn!"Ranma cursed as he ran home."What the hell am >I gonna do?"

Ami: That's fast.  He must be thinking in slow-motion.
 
>      His thoughts were cut off as he walked through the >back yard and
>  almost tripped on Akane who was sunbathing in a bikini >that left little
>  to the imagination.

A-kun: Mainly because not even a super imagination could give her anything.
 
>      Ranma's eyes bugged out then he quickly averted his >eyes as she
>  stood up and draped a slender arm around his shoulder.

Ranma: [Ranma, thinking] Kami-sama, Tsubasa looks more appealing!
 
>      "So you finally decided to accept my offer?"She >whispered softly in
>  his ear.

All: [Ranma] HELL NO!

>      "We really shouldn't..."Ranma hesitantly said as he >got out of the

A-kun: Headlock.

Ami: Ranma's doing the Pile-Driver to Akane!  OOOOOOH! That's GOTTA hurt!

>  loose embrace. He felt his resolve not to take advantage >of the situation
>  start to loosen as she started to untie her bikini top.

Ranma: [Ranma] Kami-sama, I don't want to see something flatter than Tsubasa's chest!
 
>      She was about to take it off when a voice nearby >yelled,"Go for it
>  Akane!"

Ifurita: That must be Soun.
 
>      Ranma and Akane quickly turned around and saw 10 boys >against the
>  fence drooling over Akane's luscious form.

A-kun: Obviously, all of them had 20/5000 vision.

Ranma: That's worse than Mousse's!

Ami: Of course, you'd have to be blinder than Mousse to think of Akane as CUTE!

Ifurita: You guys are mad, aren't you?

A-kun, Ranma and Ami: HELL YES!
 
>      Akane stalks off angrily,cursing the boys silently >for ruining the
>  mood.

Ami: Obviously, a knock-off of the Passion Spice.  If it were the real stuff, she wouldn't've cared.

Ifurita: Meanwhile, the escapees from the Mental Institute and the escapees from the local prison were taken back into custody.
 
>      Meanwhile,the boys were looking at Ranma like he was >the biggest
>  idiot on earth.

Ami: And Ranma returns the gaze.
 
>      "What?"He asked giving them a puzzled glance.

Ifurita: Must've hiccuped.  The full sentence was "What the hell are you guys thinking?  Even when Tsubasa took his shirt off, he was more appealing."
 
>      "She was_throwing_herself at you and you try to run >away!"Daisuke
>  said in an accusing tone.

Ranma: Duh!  Man, it's like no one has even SEEN Akane in a bikini.  Most of those 'Curves' are from balloons.
 
>      "Yeah!"Hiroshi added,"If she was doing that to >me..."

Ifurita: [Hiroshi] I would've vomitted on the ground.

>His voice
>  trailed off as he started to fantasize.

Ami: About me, that is.

Ranma: Yeah......hey, Ami, how come you don't tell anyone about....them?

Ami: [smacks Ranma] HENTAI!  You've been peeping again, haven't you?

A-kun: Hey, Ifurita just barely matches you.

Ranma: Hell, even my female forms isn't THAT round and lush-*POW*

Ami and Ifurita: PERVERT!
 
>      Ranma looked around and noticed that the other 9 were >also glassy
>  eyed and drooling.After a minute of unsucessfully trying >to snap them
>  out of it,he gave up and went to the dojo to practice.

A-kun: And think about Ami and Ifurita-*POW*

Ami and Ifurita: PERVERT!

	[A-kun and Ranma both rub their heads.]

>                                 ***
>  [later that night]
 
	[Growing bored, Ami, A-kun and Ifurita all fall asleep, meanwhile, Ranma watches.]

>      It was a hot and humid summer night

Ranma: I see where this is going...

> and Ranma was lying down on
>  his futon wearing only his favorite blue and yellow >boxers.

Ranma: Uh-uh, not THIS time, I'M NOT GOING TO GO INTO ANOTHER RANMA-AKANE LEMONS!  SUPER MARTIAL ARTIST KICK-ASS SUPER SECRET MEGA-FANFIC-DEATH STRIKE!!!

	[*BAAAAAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM*]

Ami: [starting awake] Uh!  What?!

Ifurita: [rubbing her eyes] It over?

A-kun: Snnnnnnkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk-*POKE*-Uh, later, mom....*POKE*...oh, all right, I'll take out the trash...[A-kun groggily wakes up]  Oh, the fanfic's over... *YAWN* let's go....

	[The MAT 2K crew exits.]
	[Door 1: It's a vault door that opens for you.]
	[Door 2: It's more bad poets.  You hose them with machine gun fire again and your spirits rise.]
	[Door 3: You are so depressed from the death of the chocobo from before that you accidentally pass the shower altogether again.]
	[Door 4: It's the alligator that ate your chocobo.  You shoot it, get fined by the state of Florida for killing the state bird and continue.]
	[Door 5: It's another chocobo from the Final Fantasy series.  It chirps at you and you hop on, happy that it's still alive.]
	[Door 6: It's the fire breathing dragon off a sentai show again and it seems to have managed to re-light it's pilot light.  You take a super-soaker and hose down the pilot light so the flame dies.  You move on again.]
	[Stapler.]

Ranma: Hey, isn't that supposed to be a dogbone?

A-kun: Eh, details, details.

Ami: Anyway, it's time to say what we liked about the fanfic. [Ranma looks at her.  She blushes]  Well, what we saw, anyway.

Ifurita: Not much bad grammar.

Ranma: No spelling errors as far as I noticed.  Of course, none of us were looking for spelling errors.

Ami: And except for a few problems in positions and such, it was all right.

A-kun: However, here is what was wrong with the fanfic: 1) Most of the fanfic seemed recycled from other fanfics, 2) It uses a lame plot device which I'm pretty sure doesn't actually exist in either the Manga or the Anime, 3) Akane's reaction while taking the Passion Spice was a little weak, 4) Ryouga and Shampoo?  Bleah!, and 5) What happened to the horse?

Ifurita: There....wasn't a horse....[to Ranma]....was there?

Ranma: Unless you include me and the fact that my name means 'Wild Horse' and I'm 'Hung like a horse', no.

All: What do you think, sirs?

[Deep Throat 4]

Dr. Matheus: At least I hadn't paid Pantyhose Tarou yet.

Danny Boy: I'll press the button.

\|/
--- FWOOSH!
/|\

Dr. Matheus: Wow, it's worked!

	All material belongs to whoever it belongs to.

	Bye!

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