The meeting had been a success. Everyone who'd shown up had
joined, increasing ACROSS' personnel number from two to ten. Though,
in most of their opinions, Iwata's presense was more annoying than
anything.
Xenon couldn't blame them. Iwata Norikuni was worse than what
Xenon had expected out of Excel when she'd first joined ACROSS. Which
was pretty bad. Iwata pestered the women, didn't really listen to
orders, got into fights with Toru, and made stupid comments that forced
Xenon to hold back a brain reintegrating beam that he'd almost launched
at the annoying pest.
A few warnings would likely be given to Iwata before the week...
no, the DAY was up. If he didn't shape up after that, he would be
unofficially relegated to 'human shield'.
Meanwhile, Shioji had been busy working on a new type of body
armor he wanted everyone to wear when in the field. It looked like a
skin-tight totally revealing bodysuit and it was only in it's prototype
phase, but he swore that the final product would be well worth the
effort.
Xenon wasn't absolutely positive, but the way Shioji came out
with 'his' scientific advancements, it was almost as if he was reading
from a book or getting outside aid. Neither Roppon, nor Matsu knew how
much of Shioji's inventions worked, and the two android girls had
sensors that were significantly advanced enough to give him advice on
masturbation techniques. Not that... he'd... ever.... tried their
advice out.
In any case, he was suspicious of Shioji's true loyalty. If he
was just using ACROSS as a test subject for unstable weapons and armor,
then it might be necessary to order a loyalty neurochip.
Xenon reclined and pondered again, for the tenth time that week,
who that sorceress had been. He hadn't even heard anything about her,
but from what the Evil, Inc. representative had said in passing, she
should have been out there doing lots of nasty things in the public
spotlight, like screwing little girls and releasing sarin gas in the
subway.
Mr. Kabapu smiled as he smoked his cigar. Ever since he'd gained
control of the district councils for all of Tokyo, he'd begun his great
plan to protect all of Tokyo from harm. After all, films and anime had
pretty much made Tokyo into a matchstick city, ready to be devastated
at a moment's notice. And while those were fiction, he loved Tokyo
dearly. He wouldn't allow it to suffer such a fate.
He stroked his boomerang-shaped mustache as he considered how
much had been sacrificed already for the sake of his mission. Eight
council members were dead of 'accidents', three were dead from actual
accidents, and six had been paid to leave on a lifetime vacation.
Those who'd remained were either hard-working and honest men or were
at least upstanding when on duty.
He himself had granted himself the position of Chief of City
Security. It was lower than the Mayor by technical terms, but in
truth, Kabapu had replaced the mayor with someone loyal to him, so he
was, in fact, at a higher rank than the mayor. Besides, being Mayor
would bring too much suspicion and responsibility on him. He was
considered a great man by his friends, but he was getting on in the
years.
The phone rang. He reached over and plucked it from it's cradle.
"Kabapu." he said.
"Sensei, it's nice to hear that you're still in good health."
came the voice of his ace student, Shioji Gojo.
"Shioji, it's nice to hear from you as well." Kabapu responded.
"I've been working on those projects like you'd requested. I've
got an ample base of test subjects, but I'm also under someone else's
employment." Shioji told Kabapu.
"Someone else?" Kabapu inquired, his distaste evident in his
voice.
"A secret society seeking power. Currently, they don't pose too
much of a threat to the city. In fact, they seem to be seeking power
of a different kind than the ones that you faced." Shioji answered.
Kabapu hummed disapprovingly.
"They're a good source of expendable test subjects, I assure you.
In any case, if they turn out to be too much for you to handle, I can
always botch an 'upgrade' and then take off." Shioji told his mentor.
"Be careful, Shioji. Not even the best and brightest can always
escape when cornered." Kabapu warned.
"Don't worry. I've taken precautions." Shioji answered.
"Good luck, then." Kabapu said.
"By the way, I heard the Prime Minister is funding a tournament.
Does it have to do with... Shang Tsung?" Shioji inquired.
"Yes. This is the final tournament before Raiden can seal off
our dimension from Shao Khan. I'm certain that Shang Tsung will not
pull any punches with the Mortal Kombat tournament this time,
especially after the beatings Goro took from Lemon during the last two
tournaments." Kabapu responded.
"Goro's probably still going to be their trump card." Shioji
commented, "So why worry?"
"Because Lemon passed away two months ago." Kabapu answered.
Shioji's yelp of panic and surprise was so loud that Kabapu had
to pull the phone away from his ear.
"You can't be serious! She's the best fighter that the
Jokuketsuzoku village has produced in over a hundred years! And she
was born a hundred and six years ago!" Shioji said with panic in his
voice.
Kabapu knew his student had a right to panic, but he had to calm
Shioji, "This is why the Prime Minister started this tournament. With
the tournament still a year away, he can track down those with superior
potential and begin extensive training. If we're lucky, someone truly
outstanding will show themselves..."
Ranma sneezed abruptly. He sniffled and wondered if someone was
talking about him.
Cerl thought about the arrangement of the semi-finals as the
first match was finally called to start. It wasn't that uncommon for
tournaments to do something like that after the qualifiers, but before
the semi-finals? The most unpleasant surprise was that she and Ranma
were going to be battling in the second fight.
Jun and Yuki were in the first match. Cerl watched with
interested as the tall, dark and beautiful wrestler entered the ring
and waved to the cheering crowds. Yuki entered in a less grandoise
fashion, simply jumping into the ring and leaning against her corner
post, waiting for the bell to start the match.
Neither had anything to say to the other, seeing as neither knew
each other prior to the tournament. Though the ring was silent before
the match, the waiting area wasn't.
"Cerl, I need to talk with you." Ranma spoke up.
Cerl turned her attention from the ring to Ranma, "Yeah?"
"I'd like an answer to that question." Ranma declared.
Cerl had an answer for him, but it wasn't one that he wanted to
hear. However, she didn't want to allude to the answer prior to the
match.
"I can't tell you my answer, Ranma. If I tell you good news,
you'll get distracted with thoughts on how you can't hurt me. If I
tell you bad news, you'll be distracted with questions. One way or the
other, you won't be fighting at your best. But I promise you that when
the match is over, you'll have your answer." Cerl told him in a careful
tone.
"I'd like to know now." Ranma pressed, the determination in his
voice making it clear that he wouldn't let up if she didn't answer.
Cerl sighed and looked away, "We can't. I'm sorry, but we just
can't. You're a nice guy, Ranma. But for it to work, you'd have to
make the most sacrifices. And it's not supposed to work like that."
Ranma felt a mixed of confusing emotions. Relief that he'd
finally gotten an answer, anger and sorrow that she didn't feel the
same way, and to some degree, humor that he hadn't figured it all out
sooner. Cerl had done her level best to focus on Akane or Ihadurca
rather than answer his question and that was probably the clearest sign
ever. Still, he couldn't help but feel she hadn't given him an honest
chance.
Their attention turned to the ring as the bell sounded. Yuki
launched her Ice Wave technique, but Jun leapt over it. Yuki jumped up
after her, but as she punched at a now-smiling Jun, she quickly
realized the mistake in her strategy. Being a wrestler, Jun was an
expert at close combat.
Jun caught Yuki's fist and swung the kunoichi above her head
before grabbing onto Yuki's throat and right thigh from below. As they
hit the mat, Yuki's body was slammed across Jun's powerful back,
causing the kunoichi's lungs to burn as they were forcefully squeezed.
From the sidelines, Yuka winced with sympathy. Jun's Kubota
Kracker was VERY painful. Most people wouldn't believe it, but the
technique had a good chance of knocking out just about anyone.
Jun let Yuki go and the kunoichi fell to the mat, coughing and
clutching her throat as she tried to get her lungs to work properly.
Yuki managed to regain her feet twenty seconds later, but from the way
she was struggling just to maintain balance, it was clear that most of
her strength had been sapped by Jun's attack.
"You'll pay for that!" Yuki puffed out, flaring with a cold aura.
"Sorry, but it's my favorite technique." Jun apologized to the
kunoichi as she gathered her own attack, green lightning crackling
around her.
"ICE GEYSER!" Yuki called out, unleashing a powerful ice wave.
"THUNDER CREST!" Jun answered, released her lightning attack.
The ice and lightning battled for dominance for brief seconds
before the lightning arced back over the ice to electrocute Yuki while
Jun leapt out of the way of the Ice Geyser.
Yuki flopped to the mat, twitching before the med-teams managed
to haul her onto a stretcher.
"THE WINNAH! JUN KUBOTA!"
Medusa growled as she finished bandaging her snake. She hated
wearing the medical robe she was forced to put on, as it was nowhere
near as comfortable as her snake. But, until it got over it's
injuries, her precious snake would be unable to act as clothing. It
would take days for her poor pet to heal enough for that.
"It would seem that you made a miscalculation."
Medusa glared up at the man who'd entered her hotel room.
Copycat Ken sneered back.
"What do you want?" Medusa demanded, "And how did you get in
here?"
"I'll answer the second part first, seeing as you obviously don't
know. I simply transformed into a copy of you and ask them to give me
another card key because I'd lost mine." Ken answered in haughty tone,
before looking at Medusa with a strange gleam in his eyes.
Medusa wasn't quite sure what that gleam was. It look similar to
the ones she normally got, but there was something distinctly different
about it.
"How about we team up and get back at those fighters who
embarrassed us?" Copycat Ken inquired.
Medusa arched an eyebrow, "What did you have in mind?"
Copycat Ken grinned maliciously.
The ice had finally been melted and mopped off the mat when the
announcers called for the second match. Cerl wasn't feeling too
confident about the fight. She knew that she and Ranma were on
different levels. After all, Ranma had finished his Kachuu Tenshin
Amiguriken training in just four tries. She herself had only managed
it on her twentieth.
Not to mention, while her father had been teaching her new
techniques from his more evolved school, she hadn't managed any of
them. Ranma, on the other hand, knew pretty much all Genma would teach
him.
Even with her own patented chaotic style, she was fairly certain
she couldn't beat Ranma. Not without pulling out her secret and it
wasn't something she really wanted to use in a tournament, let alone
against a friend.
The bell sounded. Ranma didn't move. Cerl was hesistant to.
Finally, she decided to just try her best and charged. Ranma mirrored
her charge. They both threw rapid punches and kicks, but Cerl felt
frustration as Ranma only stopped her attacks with his own. He wasn't
even counter-attacking.
Anger flared within her.
Cerl spoke up, "Ranma, I know I'm not as good as you, I know you
don't really want to fight me because of what I said, but the least you
could do is-" Cerl stopped her attack and shoulder-slammed Ranma, "-
STOP PATRONIZING ME!"
Ranma flipped backwards and landed on his feet. He rubbed his
chest and then looked at Cerl, who pointed accusingly at him, "My
father I could understand not wanting to hurt me, because he's more
than just a teacher to me. Good parents don't go out of their way to
deliberately hurt their children. But you, Ranma, should know that as
a martial artist, I won't stand for anything less than your best in a
tournament match!"
"If you're going to fight me, do it without worrying about
hurting me or my feelings, dammit!" Cerl growled, charging Ranma again.
Ranma sighed, "You want my best? Fine."
Cerl punched at Ranma, but found that she was punching at air.
She spun around, looking for Ranma, even glancing towards the ceiling,
but she couldn't find Ranma anywhere. She blinked, just before she
felt a kick to her back that sent her sprawling forward.
She turned but saw no one. Another glance around revealed
nothing. Either Ranma had learned how to turn invisible or he was
standing behind her with her even noticing. She kicked backwards, but
again, struck nothing.
She closed her eyes and focused on sensing Ranma. She couldn't
sense any movement on the mat, she couldn't hear him breathing or his
clothes rustling, she couldn't even sense his energy. It was like he'd
just disappeared-
"Looking for me?" came Ranma's voice from right in front of her.
Cerl opened her eyes to see Ranma looking down at her. She kicked at
him out of reflex, but again, he vanished.
She stretched out with her senses again, this time without
closing her eyes, but could not find him. He stopped right in front of
her and punched her solidly in the stomach before she could react. By
the time she realized she'd been hit, Ranma had disappeared once more.
Cerl sank to her knees. She had hoped that she would at least be
able to fight back when Ranma was at his best. But it was apparent
that she wasn't worth even a third of his best. Even if she used her
secret, she would only embarrass herself before she lost.
Cerl stood back up. She knew what she had to do, but it was the
one thing she never wanted to do. She would rather have been beaten by
a thousand painful maneuvers that she could have _seen_ than to accept
the fact that someone was so much higher than her that they could
legitimately beat her without even being seen.
She walked to the corner ropes and stepped out of the ring.
"And Cerl Tendo has forfeited the match!" came the statement of
obvious fact from the ringside announcer.
"It wasn't your fault, Cerl. Ranma-" Cologne began.
"I know. Ranma's skill level is much higher than mine. After
all, I've only just started." Cerl answered.
Cologne watched as the girl walked back to the locker rooms,
wiping at tears that wouldn't stop flowing. It was hard for her, but
the honest truth was neither she nor Shampoo were up to the level of
the fighters that would be in the finals. Cologne looked back at the
ring and wondered how well Ranma would fare, considering how sad he was
that he and Cerl wouldn't be together.
"Ranma, are you going to be all right?" Cologne inquired as the
pigtailed boy stepped out of the ring and returned to his usual waiting
spot.
"Yeah. What about Cerl?" Ranma inquired.
"It's best for her to get over this on her own. She's upset, but
Shampoo will watch her. Do you think you can make it through the rest
of this tournament?" Cologne asked.
Ranma was silent for while, then answered, "Cerl wanted to win
this tournament to help Akane. Even if we can't... I can at least be
her friend."
"That's very mature of you, Ranma." Cologne told him, smiling.
Ranma wiped tears from his own eyes and nodded, confident that
Cerl would forgive him if he won the tournament.
Meanwhile, Sabrina looked on with worry, "Don't you think we
should go check on Cerl?"
"Shampoo's down there. She can watch Cerl. Besides, the
tournament isn't over and I want to see if Ranma can win." Ukyou
answered.
Sabrina stood up, "I'm going to go check on Cerl."
Haruka caught the young witch's shoulder, "Do you honestly think
they'll let a non-competitor in that area? These places have some
really strict rules."
"Well, I can't just leave her alone! Cerl's my best friend!"
Sabrina responded, pulling away.
Meanwhile, in the locker room, Cerl punched a training bag hard,
sending the three hundred pound weight backwards to hit the ceiling.
As it swung back, she stopped it with one hand. She glared at it.
She was powerful. She knew that. Strength had been her body's
greatest asset.
She was smart. She knew that as well. She got good grades in
school and she'd been praised on her intellect many times before.
She had skill. Soun had acknowledged that when he'd made her the
heir to the Tendo school and Cologne had acknowledged it as well by
letting her join in on Ranma's training.
Yet Ranma had rendered her completely helpless with his level of
skill.
It was a loss. No big thing. She'd lost before to other people
and she would no doubt lose again in the future. She wasn't
invincible, after all, and she wasn't even near mastery.
Why then did it hurt to lose against Ranma?
She sat down against a wall and began crying.
When her tears finally slowed to a stop, she wiped her eyes and
stood up. It had felt good to cry, even if was a bit embarrassing to
cry over something as simple as a loss. She just had to train harder.
And the next time she fought Ranma, she'd try and find a way to beat
that invisible technique that he had.
Suddenly, a hand slapped something soft over her mouth, while a
pair of powerful arms pinned hers to her sides. She struggled against
her attackers, but a hand pressed against her stomach, forcing air out
of her lungs. She inhaled out of reflex and the world went dark.
Gojo Shioji worked like a man possessed. Unlike his mentor, he
didn't like the idea of losing a Mortal Kombat tournament to Shang
Tsung. Especially when that meant then it would be sixty years and two
more tournaments before they could seal their dimension from Shao
Khan's conquest. Gojo didn't want to be an old man waiting on dreams
that may never come true.
He was working on the prototype body suit that could go unnoticed
by the tournament's officials and yet, still boost the wearer's
fighting capacity greatly.
He could get it to work, but the problem was the maximum active
time. The greater the active time, the less likely the wearer would be
caught in a long battle without a way to recharge it. Which was why he
needed to get the prototypes to the members of ACROSS. The sooner they
started the trial runs, the sooner he could work out all the bugs and
flaws. He also wanted to make sure that it couldn't be sensed.
Lord Xenon looked on Gojo working in the laboratory and smiled.
The man was certainly dedicated to ACROSS, there was no longer any
doubt about it from the ferverant pace the mad scientist was working.
He turned his attention to Toru Watanabe and Excel, the captains of the
Male and Female divisions respectively. He'd decided to separate the
two genders of his forces when it came to the dormitories, so that he
would know if any problems arose more quickly.
Actually, it was mostly to help get a clear idea of who (namely,
everyone) was and wasn't willing to work with who (namely, Iwata) and
it also gave him a good reason to give Iwata very painful warnings
about trying to peek at the girls in the bath.
Plus, there was the bonus of getting everyone into the
militaristic frame of mind. If it was always casual, then when new
members joined, it would be less and less likely that superiors would
be acknowledged as such.
Excel and Toru looked over their new clipboards (purchased extra
cheap at Evil Inc's on-dimension store), which had a checklist with
people's names on the top and various jobs on the lefthand side. The
checklists were identical so that members of either gender could
consult with either of the captains on which jobs they were assigned
to.
"All right, let's go over the weekly plan. Iwata will clean all
of the toilets, organize the men's medical cabinet, then scrub the bath
clean every day. Toru, you, Hyatt, Sumiyoshi and Roppon will get to
work collecting energy. Meanwhile, Excel, Matsuya, Matsu, and I
will check out the Evil Inc's Demo-A-Thon that they're holding this
week to see what would be the most efficient purchases." Lord Xenon
ordered.
Toru and Excel checked over the various little blocks on their
clipboards to make certain they knew who was doing what (taking extra
glee in checking off Iwata's assignments), then raised a hand in
salute, "HAIL, LORD XENON!"
Back in the tournament hall, the exciting climax to the
tournament was about to begin.
"WHAT AN AMAZING TOURNAMENT THIS HAS BEEN!" The announcer
declared, seething with passion, "First, Yuka pounded Orion into the
pavement, proving that off-color comments about a woman's chest are NOT
a good idea when you're losing badly. Then, Elena made short work of
Alleana, showing that it doesn't matter what sort of crap you make up,
it doesn't help in a REAL fight!"
"Just three more matches to go, folks, and then we crown a
victor!" the announcer stated, now vibrating in his chair out of sheer
excitement, "We've whittled out the fighters, taking out those that
simply glittered and what remains is pure gold!"
The color commentator spoke up, "Next up is Jun Kubota versus
Ranma Saotome! Considering Jun's lightning ability, I doubt that
Ranma's invisibility trick will aid him very well in this bout."
[Thanks for reminding me.] Ranma glumly noted. It was probably
for the best. He didn't want to waste the Umisenken too much.
Looking across the ring to Jun, Ranma wasn't feeling so
confident. With his primary master technique rendered nearly useless
in anything but short bursts, it was down to a physical battle. And
Jun had the distinct advantage when it came to strength and endurance.
Only a fast fight would be to Ranma's advantage.
Jun smirked. Many fast fighters saw her bulk and assumed that
she was a slow poke. However, many of them found out that while
strength and endurance were her primary attributes, she was also very
fast.
The bell rang and ideas on strategy were lost to the roar of the
moment. Ranma leapt at Jun with a jumpkick and instantly regretted it
as a malicious grin of confidence grew on Jun's face. She turned left
around his foot and grabbed his ankle with both hands, manipulating his
forward momentum with her own strength in an almost cartoonish manner,
swung him around and slammed him face first into the mat.
Ranma coughed, doing his best not to vomit as he tried to move
his body, his muscles having gone numb from the painful bellyflop-esque
slam into the hard mat. Akane was strong, but Jun's strength was
definitely greater. He forced himself upright and turned to face Jun,
trying desperately to think of a way to battle her as he staggered and
swayed back and forth drunkenly.
He didn't get the chance as Jun swept him up in a crushing
bearhug. She pulsed her muscles around his chest, forcing his lungs to
expulse air and suck it in desperately severaly times before settling
into a solid crushing force.
Suddenly, Ranma vanished. Jun blinked as her arms fell inward,
almost striking her own chest. She glanced around and snorted
derisively. Obviously, the boy thought he could pull the same routine
that he had with that less experienced girl.
"KUBOTA THUNDER!" Jun cried, slamming her fists into the mat.
Greenish lightning crackled around the base of the mat, flaring
upwards until they caught Ranma and electrocuted Ranma, causing him to
stumble and fall to the mat.
Ranma coughed. He was almost out of tricks. There was only one
left and in order for it to ensure him victory, he needed a
distraction. One that was desperately pathetic. However, he had to
resort to it in order to win as Jun approached him, a smug look of
satisfaction on her face.
"THAT GIRL'S RUNNING AROUND NAKED!" Ranma cried.
Jun turned to look, then as she cursed herself for being so
stupid as she noticed there was no naked girl, but Ranma had won his
much-needed distraction, flaring with a powerful battle aura as he
unleashed his best hidden technique.
Everyone watched in confusion as Ranma appeared on the opposite
side of Jun. Jun's body was tilted back, as though she were looking at
something near the stadium's lighting, parts of her clothing ripped.
She twitched a few times, her eyes unfocused, before falling to the
mat, completely unconscious.
Yuka's eyes narrowed. As one of the five people in the room who
had actually witnessed what Ranma had done, she had to admit that she
was impressed. Whoever won in the next match, Elena or herself, would
be in for a rough fight against Ranma.
Provided he could pull that maneuver, whatever it had been, off
again.
The paramedics hauled Jun away to the medical room as Ranma
staggered out of the ring, looking like he was on his last legs.
[Well,] Yuka thought hopefully, [maybe he's too exhuasted.]
Then, Yuka recalled who HER next opponent was.
Her face turned a mild shade of green. Ranma would be recovering
his strength while she battled Elena Goldsmith, who's level of
spiritual mastery was on par with her own.
"Next up, Yuka Takeuchi and Elena Goldsmith!" the announcer
declared.
Yuka focused her mind and headed towards the ring, hoping that
she could beat Elena.
The color commentator spoke up, "Yuka Takeuchi is the runner up
from the last Variable Geo tournament, and the winner from numerous
other karate tournaments. But, her opponent Elena Goldsmith is no
slouch either. She's won first place in six of Osaka's Free Form
fighting tournaments, some of which can get quite brutal as there are
no Ring Outs."
Elena stood across the ring. Yuka glanced at her playboy bunny-
esque fighting uniform and wondered, for the tenth time that night, why
the half-american girl wore that ridiculous get up outside of the VG
tournament. During the Variable Geo tournaments, the fighters were
required to be waitresses at a resturaunt and fight in their
waitressing uniform, but while the rule was popular in VG, there was no
such rule in the other tournaments. Then again, she was still wearing
her own waitressing outfit, but she had a good reason: her last dougi
was too small.(1)
The bell rang, and there was no more time for irrelevant
thoughts. Yuka blocked Elena's flying kick and unleashed a spin kick
of her own where Elena would have landed, if the bunny girl had twisted
out of the way. Elena tried to sweep Yuka's feet out from underneath
her, but Yuka backflipped out of the way.
Yuka blocked and dodged Elena's rapid barrage of punches and
managed a glancing round kick to Elena's stomach, forcing the bunny
girl to retreat, but not doing any real damage.
The two traded strikes and blocks for minutes, but the action was
so furious that it felt like hours. The dance of battle between the
two fighters accomplished little, but showed that their physical skills
were roughly equal. Yuka's strength was less than Elena's, but Elena's
accuracy was worse than Yuka's.
Finally, they split apart, taking time to recover their strength.
Both were tired, sweating and breathing hard, but both were frustrated
that neither of them had managed to land a telling blow.
"Well, it looks like you've improved since we last fought." Elena
commented.
"Yeah. This is pretty fun. I was worried that I wouldn't be up
to your level." Yuka answered.
"We're about equal physically," Elena declared, pausing to glare
at a whistler, "so why don't we just settle this like we did last
time?"
Yuka groaned inwardly. Last time they'd battled, Yuka had won
because Elena was at war with herself and couldn't truly trust anyone,
even herself. However, Elena had progressed since then and was no
longer held back by her own inner doubts.
But still, the whole reason she was in the tournament was to test
herself. She hardened her resolve once again, pushing her nagging
doubts and concerns aside as she grinned and nodded.
"ULTIMATE RAGE CANNONS!" Elena roared, splitting her energy in a
ring of eight large spheres around her. Then, the spheres each began
launching needles of flame at Yuka at rapid speed.
"What the FU-" Yuka began to swear as she leapt out of the way.
Elena grinned, "Like it? I got the idea from the vulcan cannons
shown in anime, but I modified it so that EACH of my spheres can fire
pin-like projectiles."
Yuka summoned her own energy attack as she noticed the flaw in
the technique. While each of the spheres could attack, all of they
could do was fire in the same direction that Elena was facing and only
a small amount. However, Yuka knew that simply firing her Scream Devil
Bullet at Elena would be wasteful as Elena would send all of her energy
spheres to block the attack.
Elena wondered what Yuka was doing jumping over her, only to
realized too late that her technique forced her to stay in one place.
Her mind was split between trying to dodge and trying to send the
energy to block that failed in doing either as Yuka unleashed the
strongest Scream Devil Bullet that she could without killing Elena.
Elena toppled forward, her back singed from the blast. Yuka
slumped against the mat. She REALLY hoped Ranma hadn't recovered that
much.
If there was only thing that was an almost universally orgasmic
dream amongst anime/game fanatics, it was the idea of being surrounded
by all of the characters that said fanatic liked and being able to
interact with them even to a sexual level without much resistance.
Toshi's dream was a reality.
Unfortunately, the old adage, "Be careful for what you wish for,
you may get it." was very true.
Toshi's dream had turned into a nightmare.
It wasn't that the girls were stupid. A few weren't the
brightest bulb in the warehouse, but they weren't ipso-facto stupid.
They just didn't know any better.(2)
It had been obvious, when they were first summoned/created, that
many were confused about how things worked. After all, set world
perimeters prevented most of the girls from fighting games from ever
seeing a toilet, a bath, food or anything, really.
But while he had managed to train them in using the toilet (he
was NOT a fetishist of that sort of thing), undressing (something
foreign to just about every one of the girls), bathing, and eating; it
had quickly changed from being the dream job to nanny work.
"No, Athena, we CAN'T eat that bread because it has mold on it-
MAI, PUT THAT DOWN! King, please stop destroying the walls!" Toshi
declared, doing his best to maintain control.
Nina 1 and Nina 2 (from Breath of Fire 1 and 2), Tifa Lockheart,
Kasumi Todo, a Dancer (Tina) and a Knight (Megan) from Final Fantasy
Tactics, Shana and Rose entered the room with the look of determination
in their eyes. Well, Kasumi, Tina the Dancer and Megan the Knight
looked more like they were simply following the others. Toshi almost
whimpered.
"What are you up to?" Toshi demanded in a stern tone.
"We're wandering around." Rose said simply.
Shana piped up, "By the way, what's the encounter ratio around
here?"
"Why do you ask?" Toshi inquired.
"We're leveling up." Nina 1 supplied.
"And WHY do you need to level up?" Toshi asked.
"'Cause we're on a quest. DUH!" Tifa replied.
"And _why_ are you on a quest?" Toshi queried, dreading the
answer.
"'Cause the bathroom door won't open. And it's obvious that we
need to go find a switch or a key in the nearest dungeon." Nina 2
explained.
Toshi nearly cried. He knew exactly what was going on.
"You don't need to level up. Come on, I'll open the door." Toshi
declared.
"I guess we just needed to contact the Tutorial NPC." Tifa
commented to Nina 2, who began jotting it down in her notebook. Toshi
knew about the notebook. The RPG girls were afraid they'd be defeated
and wind up having to replay the entire game. After all, none of them
could find a save point and they weren't allowed outside until they
could operate on their own. Toshi had given them a notebook, saying
that so long as information was written within it, they wouldn't be
forced to 'scroll through hours and hours' of dialogue.
Toshi walked to the bathroom door and knocked. The expected
voice replied, "Yes?"
"Yuffie, open the door." Toshi declared.
Yuffie Kisaragi was progressing about as much as the others were,
but she'd discovered two very interesting things. How to lock and
unlock doors. Being a thief, it wasn't unusual for her to learn how to
unlock doors, but locking had been something new for her. She'd
already begun using it to pull pranks on the other girls.
For instance, Toshi now knew that doors had 500 HP, because both
Rosa and Tifa had scanned them the last time Yuffie had gone around
locking the doors. Toshi had been forced to try to stop the two girls
from bashing the doors down, but had been unsuccessful in actually
stopping them (they wanted the EXP, after all).
"No way!" Yuffie answered.
"Why not, Yuffie?" Toshi asked.
"Because....... they've... got........." Yuffie's answer was
dragged out sufficiently that Toshi got a gist of what she was
referring to.
"Yuffie, if you stop locking the doors and behave from now on,
I'll talk to Ihadurca this weekend and get her to..." Toshi paused,
considering how to make the offer in a manner that Yuffie would
understand, "...modify your sprite to have large breasts."
There was silence for a few seconds, before Yuffie asked,
"Really?"
"Really." Toshi replied.
The door was unlocked and the girls who'd been waiting patiently
to enter the bathroom entered.
Toshi turned to the female knight from Final Fantasy Tactics,
"Megan, you and Tina come to my room tonight. I'll boost your
Concubine Job Points again."
"WHOO-HOO!" Megan cheered.
Of course, even as crazy as things got, there was always the
consenting sex. Once the RPG girls heard it gave good EXP, they told
the fighting game girls that it was definitely worth their time. The
fighting game girls didn't understand the whole 'EXP' thing, but they
followed the advice of their fellow roommates.
Toshi stood just inside the doorway as the girls took their
clothes off and began soaping each other up in the full-body fashion
Toshi had taught them.
Then, he noticed Storm about to try using her lightning powers on
the TV again, (she always tried that when she couldn't find the remote) "No! Bad Storm!"
Ranma stood in the blue corner, trying to work off some of the
numbness he felt from his match with Jun. He was still hurting from
the numerous injuries, not to mention trying to build back up his
battle aura. Both he and Yuka had been given ten minutes to rest while
the paramedics hauled Elena to the medical room with the other downed
fighters, but that still wasn't much time.
Fortunately, from what he could tell, Yuka was pretty exhuasted,
meaning that she might not be able to her Scream Devil thingy. Even
though he doubted he could use his Umisenken techniques or his current
finishing maneuver, he could still win so long as she didn't use that
ki blast.
"Here it is, folks, the final bout. Whoever wins will be
crowned... uh, what's the name of this tournament?" the announcer
began, before hearing the answer whispered into his ear, "will be crowd
King (or Queen) of Tokyo!"
The audience blinked.
"Is that anything like how high school proms vote people 'king'
or 'queen'?" Haruka asked.
Michiru shrugged. Ukyou shook her head to indicate she didn't
know, then slapped Michiru's hand, which had been trying grope her.
However, Ukyou wrongfully glared at Haruka.
"I'm not so sure this match will be as flashy as some of the
earlier ones. Both of these fighters have exhuasted themselves and
it's not looking like either have really have sufficient time to
recover. We might just see a Double K.O." the color commentator
interupted.
"Oh, those are myths." the announcer shot back.
The color commentator shook his head, "No, they're not. They're
just very rare. Ranma is probably tired, not to mention hurting
awfully bad from his fight with Jun. Meanwhile, Yuka exhuasted herself
physically and spiritually fighting Elena. Both of these fighters
probably have enough for a hand-to-hand fight, and that's what's going
to prove who's going to be the winner."
The bell sounded. Ranma and Yuka both warily approached each
other. Unlike their previous battles, neither was feeling very gung-ho
about launching into an all-out assault from a distance.
Once they were within three feet, they finally attacked each
other. Ranma's punch glanced Yuka's shoulder while Yuka's punch
glanced Ranma's stomach. Their next seven attacks repeated the same
formula.
"It would seem that their ability to dodge oncoming attack is
causing their attacks to glance off of each other. The question is,
who will be able to counteract the other's ability to dodge first?" the
announcer inquired rhetorically.
The two fighters separated and circled the center of the ring,
mentally calculating probable attacks and outcomes. Ranma snapped out
with a spinning hook kick, but Yuka ducked and launched an uppercut
that Ranma flipped backwards to avoid. Yuka turned and tilted her
head, causing Ranma's reverse crescent kick to miss. Ranma rolled out
of the way of Yuka's double foot stomp, but missed when he tried a
sliding sweep kick.
Ranma growled. Even though he could likely trounce Yuka in a
physical fight when he was in top shape, his injuries were acting up
and he was running out of moves. And worse yet, his finishing
technique was useless, even though he could probably use it right now.
Unless...
Yuka felt a surge of confidence rush through her as her sidekick
solidly connected with Ranma's stomach, sending the pigtailed boy
tumbling. As he struggled to get up, she realized that she had won.
There was no way Ranma could win when he was unable to dodge her
attacks.
However, Ranma's weakness was mostly a ruse. As Yuka approached
him to finish the match, Ranma launched himself forward. Time seemed
to slow to molasses as Ranma punched, kicked, elbowed, kneed and
headbutted Yuka. Finally, he appeared on the opposite side of her as
time returned to it's normal rate. Yuka twitched and fell to her back
while Ranma simultaneously fell forward, his body having reached the
point of utter exhuastion.
"BOTH FIGHTERS ARE DOWN!" the announcer cried in shock as the
referee began counting to ten.
The referee counted to ten without either of the competitor doing more than futilely raising their arms in an attempt to rise.
"Since both fighters are down for longer than a ten count,
tournament rules state that whoever can either stand up or grab the
bottom rope of the ring will be declared the champion!" the announcer
declared.
Tense seconds passed by as Ranma finally began moving, crawling
towards the edge of the ring while Yuka rolled onto her stomach and
began her own trek towards the edge of the ring.
Ranma's muscles burned as he pulled himself closer and closer to
the red rope that surrounded the bottom of the ring. He felt a surge
of excitement as he was within an inch of the rope. He was so close.
He was so close. Then, he could apologize to Cerl...
Ranma felt his body cut out on him and he fell limp a mere
quarter of an inch from the bottom rope. He could hear the roar of the
crowd, but nothing specific. He could hear the commentator saying
something excitedly.
He had to win... he had to.
He pulled himself forward and grasped the bottom rope. The
crowd's roar slowly died down as Ranma's wits returned to him.
"BOTH FIGHTERS HAD GRASPED THE BOTTOM ROPE! IT'S A TIE!"
Well, half the first place prize money was better than getting
second place, Ranma thought to himself before he passed out.
If there was one thing Dan Hibiki knew, it was that if someone
who was tied up and unconscious was being loaded into an unmarked white
van in an alley way behind a tournament hall, chances were that it was
something illegal. His sense of Justice cried out for him to
intervene. Besides, even if were a movie of some sort, they could just
cut out whatever Dan interupted. Or they might hire him on after
seeing him being so authortive and cool.
"You there! What are you doing?" Dan demanded, puffing out his
chest to make himself look more impressive. After all, he had to know
how to look good for when he finally defeated Sagat and avenged his
father.
Copycat Ken eyed the pink-dougi-wearing martial artist with
disgust. He motioned for Medusa to continue loading their 'cargo' as
he turned to face the 'infamous' Dan Hibiki.
"What's it to a no-name chump like you?" Copycat Ken asked,
folding his arms across his chest.
Dan twitched at being called a no-name chump, and decided to make
his point loud and clear. With emphasis on the "loud", "I AM DAN
HIBIKI! CHAMPION OF JUSTICE AND AVENGER OF MY FATHER! YOU TWO ARE
INDULGING IN SUSPICIOUS ACTIVITIES THAT I AM HERE TO INVESTIGATE!"
Ken looked a bit worried that Dan's yelling might bring someone
with more authority or skill to investigate, but otherwise unfazed by
Dan's actual words.
"I don't have time for this! Prepare to die, loser!" Ken
snarled, drawing his cloth and transforming into a replica of Dan.
Dan laughed, either too confident or too stupid to be tricked,
"HA! YOU MAY HAVE TAKEN ON MY MIGHTY FORM, BUT YOU CAN NEVER MATCH MY
SAIKYO STYLE! OOSHA! DAN DAN KICK!"
Ken found himself actually on the defensive as Dan's monkey-on-
crack leg flailing hit him solidly in the chest. Dan Hibiki might have
been a two-bit buffoon, but he was a buffoon with strength behind him.
"Medusa! Finish loading the van quick!" Ken-Dan snapped, worried
that he might face a second defeat as he responded to Dan's attack with
a mirror copy of it. Dan easily dodged the attack, then laugh
mightily.
"HA! I LAUGH AT YOUR FOOLISH COPY TRICKS! FOR I AM DAN! AND I
_AM_ [_MIGHTY_]! OOSHA! RA-RA-RA! YAYOUZE! AAHH! OYAJI!" Dan
taunted Ken-Dan mightily. (3)(4)(5)
Ken-Dan felt his blood boil as Dan taunted him. Copycat Ken had
taken down over a hundred martial arts masters, as had his father and
grandfather. His Mirror Techniques were second to none and _NO ONE_
taunted him and got away with it!
There was one trick that Ken had never tried with his magic
shape-shifting cloth, but he was now mad enough to try it. Twirling
his cloth, he transformed into a replica of the Marvel Universe's Hulk.
Dan yelped a bit, mostly because of a flash back to another green-
skinned man who'd electrocuted him during a match a few months back,
but quickly regained his confidence.
Obviously this was some sort of illusion! That guy had no doubt
been so scared of Dan's taunting that he'd inflated fake muscles in
order to try and scare Dan into fleeing, but that wouldn't work against
the Mighty Dan Hibiki! It was time to teach the trickster that Might
Made Right, and Dan Hibiki had the Might!
"RAGING SUICIDE!" Dan roared, unleashing his ultimate technique.
Ken-Hulk was sent flying backwards to smash through the wall next
to the door, severely burned and in a lot of pain. Dan, however, had
also taken damage from his own ultimate attack and was laying on his
back, completely unconscious.
Ken-Hulk twirled his cloth and groaned in pain. Dan's attack had
broken a few ribs and dealt a lot of first and second degree burns all
over his body, but luckily, the magic cloth had healed him. Ken would
be feeling the pain for as long as it would take a normal human to heal
from such injuries, but he didn't need to visit a hospital.
"What you doing with Cerl?" Shampoo demanded.
"Medusa, you take her! I'll finish loading the van!" Ken told
Medusa, who had just finished loading their third target. He was in no
condition to be facing another opponent.
"Whatever." Medusa responded, stepping out of the van to face
Shampoo.
"Hmph! You underestimate woman of Jokuketsuzoku, you in for
world of suffering." Shampoo told her opponent.
Medusa's long red hair slithered forward and ensnared the
surprised amazon, lifting her up into the air. Shampoo struggled, but
Medusa's hair had her bound like steel wires.
"What an amateur." Medusa snorted.
Shampoo screamed in agony as electricity coursed through her
body. A minute later, Medusa let the purple-haired girl drop heavily
to the ground. Shampoo struggled to move, but the electricity had
rendered her completely numb.
"What's going on here?!" Sabrina demanded as she entered the
doorway to see Shampoo and Dan on the ground, Copycat Ken loading an
unconscious Cerl into a white van with three other women, and Medusa
turning towards her.
"Dammit!" Ken cursed. This was getting way more complicated than
he'd planned. What happened to the good old days, when people could
kidnap other people without hundreds of witnesses and interlopers
interfering?
Sabrina summoned a spell to paralyze Ken and Medusa, but Medusa
reacted faster, flinging her pet snake at Sabrina. Sabrina brought her
right arm up out of reflex and cried out in pain as the serpent sank
it's fangs into her arm. It pulled it's fangs out and fell to the
ground before returning to it's mistress.
"You can't stop me that..." Sabrina began, regathering her spell
in her right hand, only to blink in surprise as her arm fell limply to
her side, "...easily...?"
Sabrina felt the venom spread quickly throughout her body,
sending her toppling onto her back.
"Surprised? My snake's venom isn't deadly, but it's not harmless
either. It numbs the entire body and once it reaches your brain,
you'll pass out." Medusa chuckled.
"You... bitth-" Sabrina swore, her tongue growing numb. She
managed to raise her left index finger and release a tiny pink spark
into the sky before blacking out.
"What should we do with these three?" Medusa inquired.
"The guy, forget. The two girls we can add to our little
collection. Knock out the purple-haired one and load 'em on the truck.
I'll check to make sure no one else is coming." Copycat Ken instructed.
Medusa nodded. Unbeknownst to the duo, the spark of a spell
Sabrina had cast was making itself more well known than they expected.
Unfortunately for Sabrina, help would arrive far too late.
=======================================================================
(1) Yuka complains at the start of the VG OAV that another workshirt
has gotten too tight. With that rate of growth, a karate dougi that
she wore months prior to that would be far too tight. Not that you
perverts wouldn't might seeing it!
(2) This is what parents tell themselves.
(3) Dan's line (starting with "OOSHA!") are the best that I can recall
from his actual taunts, which he performs while rolling around.
(4) The brackets around the word "[_MIGHTY_]" are the Brackets of Power
(tm) and are borrowed from ImproFanfic and it's associates. They'll be
wiped off and returned.
(5) Actually, the line "I AM DAN! AND I AM [_MIGHTY_]!" is borrowed
from Improfanfic's Ultra, where Dan becomes a minor diety temporarily.
Explanations:
The Kubota Thunder is not an official move, but rather, an
impromptu one. It's damage is significantly less than Jun's
directional lightning-ki attack ("Thunder Crest", also not an official
technique title.), but is enough to stun and injure opponents.
The Umisenken is the Art of the Sneaky Thief, developed by Genma
Saotome, under his master Happousai. The Umisenken's moves seem like
simple sleight-of-hand, but culminate into a fiercely defensive
technique: Invisibility. Unfortuantely, it's usage is limited as the
user can only remain undetectable when not attacking, their presence
just slipping around the notice of others. When Ranma showed up around
Cerl, he was detectable for a short time. However, against an omni-
directional attack, like Jun's impromptu Kubota Thunder, the technique
_can_ be defeated.
Ranma's finisher is called "White With Fear". It uses a similar
principle of Soun's Demon Head Attack to paralyze the opponent while
using the highest Umisenken technique to create a paralyzing field
around the opponent, allowing Ranma to beat them with an all out
assault. The problem is that the opponent needs to be confident for
the paralyzation to take effect.
Chapter 9, Complete.
Stay tuned!
Next chapter:
The Tournament ends!
Elena, Jun, Cerl and Yuki kidnapped!
Akane vanishes!
Sabrina's aunts arrive and they are not _HAPPY_!
OMAKE!
------
"Cerl, I need to talk with you." Ranma spoke up.
Cerl turned her attention from the ring to Ranma, "Yeah?"
"I'd like an answer to that question." Ranma declared.
Cerl had an answer for him, but it wasn't one that he wanted to
hear. However, she didn't want to allude to the answer prior to the
match. But she really couldn't think of any other way to avoid the
question.
"Yes, Ranma, it is disturbing." Cerl told him.
Ranma, clad in a full-body suit of pantyhose, pouted. She
probably hadn't even seen where he'd put the vibrator.
"And yes, I did see where the vibrator went, you sicko." Cerl
told him, having just developed telepathy.
OMAKE! #2
---------
"Cerl, I need to talk with you." Ranma spoke up.
Cerl turned her attention from the ring to Ranma, "Yeah?"
"I'd like an answer to that question." Ranma declared.
Cerl had an answer for him, but it wasn't one that he wanted to
hear. However, she didn't want to allude to the answer prior to the
match. But she really couldn't think of any other way to avoid the
inane questions. Ranma was almost as persistant as her last
girlfriend/sex toy, Sayuri, had been.
"If I was born a girl, and my curse turned me into a guy instead,
would you have deliberated as long as you have?" Ranma inquired.
"Shit no, you'd be my prison bitch after we got arrested for
public indecency." Cerl told him.
Shampoo blushed at Cerl's forwardness while Ranma giggled like a
school girl, "Oh, you... you know just what to say..."
OMAKE! #3
---------
"Cerl, I need to talk with you." Ranma spoke up.
Cerl turned her attention from the ring to Ranma, "Yeah?"
"I'd like an answer to that question." Ranma declared.
Cerl had an answer for him, but it wasn't one that he wanted to
hear. However, she didn't want to allude to the answer prior to the
match. But she really couldn't think of any other way to avoid the
question.
Sighing mightily, she turned to Ranma, "Fine, but if those
LARPers try to neck with me and say it's all part of the role-playing,
I'm leaving."
Ranma smiled a wicked grin. At last the Malkavians would have
the advantage! And then HE would be Queen of Summertime... er,
PRINCESS of Summertime. No way was he going to try and out goth that
Gina Diggers for the Queendom again!
OMAKE! #4
---------
Cerl couldn't believe it. She always thought that when it came
right down to it, she could always match Ranma in a fair fight. But,
she sniffled and wiped a tear away from her eyes before gazing up at
Ranma-chan waving to the crowd.
The announcer sang, "o/~There she is, Miss Nerima District...o/~"
"Oh, fah-ther, I'm the happiest girl in the world!" Ranma-chan
declared with that fake accent of hers, her low cut bikini jiggling her
overfull cleavage as she spoke.
Cerl burst into tears. Why hadn't SHE thought of a too-tight
bikini top with a thong bottom?
Of course, maybe saying that her one wish would be to kill the
judges and sacrifice their brains to C'thulu hadn't really gone over
too well with Nazgul judge.
OMAKE! #5 - The Trigun Sketch
-----------------------------
Everyone watched in confusion as Ranma appeared on the opposite
side of Jun. Jun's body was tilted back, as though she were looking at
something near the stadium's lighting, parts of her clothing ripped.
She twitched a few times, her eyes unfocused, before falling to the
mat, completely unconscious.
"I warned her that I could grope her fifty-five times before she
could even blink." Ranma sneered.
OMAKE! #6
---------
Excel walked up on a darkened stage. A spotlight illuminated her
as she reached the middle and turned to the readers. She bowed deeply
and then returned to her face, a bashful look on her face.
Excel began, "Greetings and welcome to the tail end of the ninth
installment of Akane Revised. We're ending a bit differently so that
we could address some issues. We got some very lovely letters from our
loyal fans..."
She motioned to A-kun, who is carefully opening a ticking package
with the look of a hawk on Ali Baba drugs or a beholder with explosive
diahrea who's talking to an important ally that has lengthy but urgent
news. Take your pick. He sighed in relief as he realized it was just a bomb.
*KABOOM*
Excel stared at the hole A-kun had left in the ceiling, then
turned back to the readers, "So, ANYWAY, we want to address a few
comments that we got."
Subject: Japanglish versus Engrish
Q. What's the difference?
A. Well, in the _AUTHOR'S_ opinion, the difference is as such:
Engrish is the faux pas created by someone who is not fluent in a
language trying to speak in or use phrases/words from said language.
This often sounds like Shampoo's pidgeon speak at best or Zero Wing at
worst: "All your base are belong to us! What you say! You have no
chance survive make your time! Take off every zig! For great
justice!"
Japanglish is mostly stupid insertions. Like writing a story in
english, but making all the dialogue french of romanji (japanese words
spelled out with letter instead of kanji, katakana or hirogana).
Example: Ranma stroked her long silken hair, "Watashi no Rikudo Koshi
wa tamago pan o kudasai." (very rough translation: I, Rikudo Koshi, do
please give me egg.")
As you can see, Engrish is unintentional stupidity.
Japanglish is stupidity fused with high snobbery.
Subject: Cerl = Mary Sue
Mary Sue = Ridiculously over-powered, seeking to outshine every
other character in every possible way.
Cerl = Demi-Mary Sue. Demi Moore fused with Mary Sue.
Demi Moore: HEY!
Oops, sorry.
Cerl = Demi-Mary Sue. Demi meaing she's just meant to look
better than ONE character. Namely Akane.
Given that Cerl is more intensive in her training, her physical
abilities will climb in correlation to how hard she works for it.
Since she's had THREE instructors (Soun, Ranma and Cologne) to help
work on her speed, strength and endurance, it's not entirely ridiculous
that she could grow to be fairly powerful.
Also, if you hadn't noticed, Soun and Ranma were both holding
back when they SPARRED with Cerl. Cerl was working hard for those
stalemates. Her victory against Azusa and Mikado is attributed to the
fact that both of them are IDIOTS. Her victory over Ken was due to the
fact that Ken uses a weak form of surprise psychology and Cerl was
immune. Please note that Dan Hibiki also defeated Copycat Ken.
But she didn't beat Akane or Ryouga.
Ryouga was defeated by Haruka, then killed by Ihadurca. Cerl
didn't manage to do very much to Ryouga other than make him mad. The
Akane-Cerl fight was cancelled (on account that neither fighter wanted
to finish), so it might go down as a tie.
But, just to show you that she's NOT, here's how Cerl might look
if she were a Mary Sue.
Behind Excel, a movie screen drops down and a film begins to
play.
[Scene: Outer Space. Super Saiyan Broli is destroying the solar
system.]
Super Cerl: OH NO!1!1!!! BROLI IS DE-STORYING TEH UNIVARSE!
Ranma: [panicked[ Can't you stop him!?!?!??!???!???!
Super Cerl: [sneering] Of course, that's easy. But I'm so powerful, I
need to be distracted for it to be worth anything. Quick, Ranma!
Fukuc me up teh butt!
Ranma: [looking bashful] Well, I was kinda hoping for a second date
before we got into that sort of stuff. [Normal] And why can't you say
'Destroy', 'the', and 'universe' right?
[Later, after Broli is dead...]
Super Cerl: Now to restory the universe! I'll just go to Sabrina...
Sabrina: Cool! I get to help restore the universe?
Super Cerl: [slapping Sabrina] No, you moron! I just need something
you have. [opens Sabrina's magic book while Sabrina holds her face in
stunned silence] What?! Your necronomicon is only 2nd Edition? Geez,
Sabrina, get with the times! [pulls out a 3rd Edition Nerconomicon]
I'll have to do it all myself.
Sabrina: [staring] If you had that, why did you need my necro-wait! I
don't have a necronomicon!
Super Cerl: Silly Sabrina! Didn't you know that books of unholy magic
made with the flesh of living humans isn't dangerous in the hands of
someone insanely powerful like me?
Sabrina: [now officially braindead] *GIGGLE* Oh, how silly of me!
[Super Cerl flies off] Bye Super Cerl! [suddenly shudders in disgust as
she realizes that the plot manipulated her into LIKING the Uber-
character.]
[Later, after Super Cerl has restoryed the universe.]
Super Cerl: Now to kill God! 'Cause he and the angels don't like me!
Ranma: Oh, that makes-[double take] WHAAAAT?! KILL GOD?!
Super Cerl: DUH! Because I'm secretly the God of Destruction, who'll
break free and kill all life in the universe.
Ranma: Wait, then what the-[Ranma dies trying to rationalize Super Cerl
restoring the universe if she's actually a god of destruction.]
[Super Cerl restores him, Miss Tendo, Miss Kuno, and every other
mother that died in the last eighteen years back to life, restores the
mothers back to age of eighteen and cures any medical or mental
afflictions they had.]
Super Cerl: Silly Ranma! Didn't you know that Gods of Destruction can
be good? Just look at ANIME REFERENCE: CARROT GLACE!
Ranma: But then-what about-[Ranma kills himself, but Super Cerl
restores him to life with a Phoenix Down]
"So you see, Cerl as a Mary Sue actually would have been much,
much, MUCH worse than our Cerl, who's only a Demi-Mary Sue." Excel
summarized.
Suddenly, Cerl walked on stage with Excel.
"Who's the Uber-character?" Cerl asked, slurping some cheap cup-
o-ramen.
"You, as an uber-character." Excel explained.
"Ah, that makes-" Cerl began, before doing a double take,
"WHAAAAAAAT?!"
Cerl turned to A-kun, a gleam that promised him the savage
attacks she dealt Ryoga. A-kun grinned nervously and ended the Omake
before he could get hurt.
*WHAP*
"OWIE!" A-kun yelped.
Apparently, he was a bit too slow.
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