=========================================================== Dungeon Keeper Ranma
Chapter 11: Conversation
By A-kun
===========================================================
The United Nations was seen by most as a giant "Whine" factory
that could place embargos. That couldn't be further from the truth.
It was a giant "Whine" factory that could place embargos and was
meant to subjugate every nation that put forth the effort to join it.
It just wasn't very successful in doing that last function.
However, there was another function to the U.N. It was to
introduce representatives of countries that were just strong enough to
stand on their own to the representatives of the rest of the world, so
that friendly trade could begin. It also allowed countries to try and
settle matters with talk (which rarely worked).
In any case, the U.N. was an important stepping stone in the re-
introduction of Atlantis (now Harmonia) to the world. Which was
precisely why King Reginald needed a good suit.
"A suit? But I already have my armor..." King Reginald began to
protest.
"I don't mean a suit of armor. Besides, it'll make things a bit
uneasy in the U.N. if you enter with armor or a sword. We need some
clothes that present you as proper royalty, but not the sort that
you'll need a bunch of people following you in order to make sure
nothing catches or gets dirty." Ranma explained.
"What would be proper?" King Reginald inquired.
Ranma hummed. In truth, he had only followed politics so far.
Proper introductions and such weren't his key. If it were a martial
arts match or something, then he wouldn't have a problem, but as it
was... he needed Nabiki Tendo. Only Nabiki would have studied up on
proper introductions in a political arena like the U.N. was rumored to
be.
"I'm going to have to go back to Nerima to get someone." Ranma
answered.
"If it needs to be done, then don't mind me." King Reginald
reassured him.
Ryoga hid. He didn't know where he was, but he hid.
"Oh, Ryoga, why are you in our refridgerator?" Kasumi asked.
"Ranma.....aliens.....clones....probing!" Ryoga whimpered.
Kasumi looked at him and decided that perhaps the refridgerator
was the best place for him. At least until supper. She closed the
door just as Ranma teleported into the kitchen.
"Oh, hey Kasumi. Do you know where Nabiki is?" Ranma inquired.
"In the living room. We were all wondering what happened to Miss
Saotome when I decided to make some tea." Kasumi responded.
"Oh, don't worry. Mom's fine." Ranma told her.
Kasumi left out a sigh of relief she didn't know she'd been
holding and followed Ranma out of the room.
Ranma entered the living room and interupted the barrage of
questions with, "Mom's fine. She shouldn't have interupted the
teleportation circle, but she's fine."
Most of the questions died before a syllable could be uttered.
"Nabiki, I do need your help, though." Ranma said, further
interupting any other questions.
"It'll cost you." Nabiki responded.
Ranma smiled, "I think I can pay."
Nabiki arched a curious eyebrow.
"In any case, why don't we talk on the roof?" Ranma inquired.
Nabiki shrugged indifferently and stood up. Ranma placed a hand
on her shoulder and the two vanished in a burst of green energy.
"Boy's probably gone soft with all that teleporting." Genma
grumbled.
Mikado Sanzenin stared as tiny Ranma Saotomes advanced on him
with pickaxes in hand. Unarmed opponents were one thing, but Ranma was
good enough to... challenge Mikado. At least thirty, albeit smaller,
Ranmas were too dangerous for him to even contemplate.
It was the first time he wished Azusa was there to help him.
Even her stupid kleptomania would at least distract the tiny Ranmas
from him.
All of the imps had been made from Ranma Saotome and thus, knew
exactly what Mikado was like. The pickaxes vanished and were replaced
with rope, hair dye and permanent markers.
"NOT THE FACE!" Mikado shrieked like a little girl as the imps
lunged forward...
Nabiki had been on the roof before. The teleportation was a bit
unsettling, but she could deal with it. It felt like something had
just tugged her upwards for a second.
"So, what did you want?" Nabiki asked.
"Well, you see... remember when I told you all that I'd been to
Harmonia, which used to be Atlantis? I got really popular there and
everyone wanted to come back with me, so they moved the entire
continent back to Earth..." Ranma began to explain.
"Uh-huh, and why hasn't anyone seen it yet?" Nabiki inquired
skeptically.
"I'm blocking the island from detection. Only way to see it is
by looking at it with your own bare eyes. Even binoculars wouldn't
allow you to see it. In any case, the thing about it is that... well,
we need to introduce the island back to earth, and that means talking
with the U.N. So, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind helping King
Reginald get an outfit and stuff like that." Ranma told her.
"Ranma, even if I did believe all that, you MUST know that I
can't do this for free." Nabiki answered.
Ranma nodded and reached into his pocket and produced a fist-
sized well-cut ruby, "Let's just say that this wouldn't be even half of
your pay."
Nabiki knew jewelry. Even if they couldn't afford it, Nabiki had
taken the time to study real and fake jewelry. Before she'd found
racketeering, she'd decided that she wanted to be a jeweler. As such,
Nabiki could identify fake and real from a distance of three feet.
Ranma was a foot away. The ruby was quite real.
"I-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-" Nabiki babbled out, trying to figure
out how Ranma had managed to get such a gem without... well, without
being carted off.
On their world, a gem like that was worth at least eight hundred
thousand yen, if not MUCH MUCH more. She couldn't tell how much unless
she saw how many flaws were on it. Ranma sensed Nabiki's intense gaze
and he handed her the gem so she could look it over.
Not a flaw on it.
"I don't suppose you'd be willing to help us out, would you? If
you aren't interested, I can always take the-" Ranma didn't even get to
finish his little taunt before Nabiki clutched the gem to her chest
protectively and snapped, "MINE!"
"Okay." Ranma responded, a bit weirded out at the almost feral
look in Nabiki's eyes. If she started calling it her "Preciousssss",
he was going to have to put her out.
Luckily for Nabiki, her sense of dignity managed to calibrate
enough for her to recompose and agree to Ranma's request.
Kodachi Kunou, at some level, knew of her own madness. There was
always a portion of the mind that looked at the actions of the body,
slapped itself in the forehead and sighed at the sheer stupidity of it
all. It then looked at the situation and began a dialogue with the
rest of the mind to keep the brain active.
What is it? What's so shocking?
Tiny Ranmas.
Tiny Ranmas?
Tiny Ranmas.
Can't be. What do they look like?
All of them looked like super-deformed versions of her Ranma.
SD Ranmas?
They were dancing.
Dancing.
Yes, dancing and waving their arms in the air like they just
didn't care.
When is the last time we broke into the sake stash?
Last time we fondled Ranma-sama's 'package'.
Ah, yes. And when was the last time we tried out our chemicals
on ourself?
Last Thanksgiving. Sasuke had the day off and we needed a guinea
pig. We figured that if it did anything, we'd be immune.
Oh yeah. Let us never do that again. Now, have we been taking
any extraneous mind-altering drugs?
No.
Have we gotten struck on the head lately?
No.
Then this obviously must be a delusion brought on by too much
exhuastion.
Kodachi Kunou nodded to herself, turned and went home, vowing to
sleep until she wasn't tired.
Happousai was beginning to worry. He'd actually been getting hit
these last two circuits around the dungeon, mostly because the spell-
casting women had learned to fill the area with spells rather than just
cast the spells and expect the magic to 'auto-lock' onto their target.
It was getting to be too dangerous for him to stay. Worse yet,
none of the women, save for the 'keeper', had any underwear to steal.
And the 'keeper' had some sort of magic on hers to return them to her
dressers on command, meaning that even if Happousai managed to ransack
her underwear, they would simply return to her dresser once she said
the magic word.
Happousai fondled one more bare hiney, then fled, much to the
chagrin of the mistress who's butt he'd fondled. Happousai gave a
half-smirk. Even if there had been no underwear, all that bare female
flesh had been more than welcome. He made a mental note to try and
sneak back... if they didn't move prior to that.
Akane was angry. VERY angry. Not only was Ranma ignoring her
COMPLETELY, he had an entire continent of women all to himself!
It didn't really sink into Akane's mind that Harmonia had a
healthy MALE population as well, because she was too angry over all the
women, young and old, waving to Ranma as they walked about the castle.
It also didn't sink in that most of them were simply friendly greetings
to Ranma rather than romantically interested invitations.
Such was the mind of Akane Tendo.
When it became more and more apparent that Ranma wasn't going to
pay her the special attention Akane demanded, she left to wander around
the castle herself.
It didn't take long for Akane to get completely lost, as she had
closed her eyes and walked through a Hero's Gate without really
noticing. Thus, when she found herself in the Inner Sanctum of the
castle rather than the castle proper, she thought it was a trick that
Ranma was playing on her.
Huffing angrily, she began marching around as if she owned the
place and knew exactly where she was going. Which she didn't.
It did not take her long to find the edges of Ranma's dungeon,
which still had many intact fortifications.
Akane had not sworn allegiance to Ranma and her current state of
hatred had left the automated magical defenses no other choice than to
see her as an enemy that was attacking.
Akane screamed as several fireballs were launched at her, and
dove for cover. Just in time, too, as the lightning trap warmed up to
attack. Had she not made it behind a wall, the trap would have
electrocuted her on the spot.
Akane glanced around the corner. Whatever those things were,
they'd attacked her. Irrational anger flared within Akane as she
arbitrarily decided that this was another one of those tricks Ranma was
playing on her.
She made the worst possible mistake: She assumed someone was
manning the cannons.
She charged at the traps, screaming a battle cry that might have
intimidated someone who wasn't battle hardened. The traps were not
living, thus were not impressed nor intimidated. They simply fired.
Akane fell to her back as the electrical pulse of the lightning
trap literally knocked her off her feet. As she struggled back to her
feet, the seven sentry cannons fired, smashing her backwards to land
helplessly against a wall.
A few minutes later, an imp appeared and stared at Akane for a
few seconds. It had never seen such a hideous beast... no, wait...
The imp picked up the baby tentacle that had climbed onto Akane's
face and set it back into the nearby water, before picking up Akane and
hauling her to the nearest prison.
Ranma sighed with relief. At last, Nabiki was handling
everything for the meeting with the U.N., Kasumi was talking with
Prince Daniel, and Soun and Genma were in the kitchen, smacking their
lips as the chefs prepared them a meal.
Akane was.... nowhere. Ranma frowned. That was odd. She
should've been right behind Kasumi when they'd neared the kitchen.
Then, an imp appeared next to him and chittered at him.
"A new prisoner? They stupidly tried to attack the traps in the
dungeon?" Ranma inquired, then groaned as he realized what had probably
happened.
He sent a burst of magical healing energy to the 'prisoner', then
teleported down to the prison. He sighed with disgust.
Yes, Akane was laying on the floor of the prison. Even with the
magical energy he'd sent to restore her to full health, she had yet to
awaken. He didn't have time to deal with it. He had to pick up Ukyou,
who was probably awake already, and then go check on his mother. And
he hadn't even notified Cologne or Shampoo of his return.
He'd debated over it, but decided that the two amazons deserved
to at least find out before it made the frontpage of the newspaper. He
owed them both that much for teaching him amazon training techniques.
Maidel entered the room, "I'd heard there was some idiot who'd
charged our traps."
"That would be her, but she probably wouldn't have..." Ranma
paused to consider that it was AKANE he was talking about, "no, she
would have, even if she'd known. Maidel, can you haul her out of there
and make sure she doesn't get into any more trouble? I've got a busy
schedule." Ranma requested.
"If she misbehaves, can I toss her into the torture chamber?"
Maidel inquired, a hopeful look in her eye.
"Only if she does something colossally stupid, like try to attack
you or the traps again." Ranma responded.
Maidel smiled and saluted, "You can count on me!"
"Why does that bring no ease to my worries?" Ranma inquired.
"Because she's that stupid?" Maidel guessed.
Ranma sighed and nodded in agreement before teleporting away.
Nerima was, to put it gently, going batshit crazy. Roving
reporters, freelancers, law enforcement agencies and more were trying
to find the mysterious green men who'd been plaguing Nerima. Some
webcam footage of ten or so dancing green men who looked like a semi-
notable martial artist by the name of Ranma Saotome, who then
teleported away, had circulated rather fast.
Their presense had been so noticed that it was expected for them
to return. Which was why there was a nigh-manhunt for the dancing
green men.
However, sadly for those looking for the imps, the workers had
stopped going to the surface after about two hours once Ranma had left
for the first time. They'd already claimed all of the surface that
they could, so there was no further reason to continue.
Ranma arrived in an abandoned warehouse and had made his way to
the Nekohaten, somehow accidentally and narrowly avoiding every camera
crew, reporter and freelance journalist.
"Hey." Ranma announced, non-chalantly as he entered.
"Son-in-law, I'm glad you made it back." Cologne answered from
the cash register, handing her last customer his change before
motioning Ranma to an empty table.
Ranma stepped over to a table to remove himself from the flow of
traffic. Cologne hopped over and looked him over, "You've been away
quite a while, even though it's only been two weeks."
Ranma was about to ask her how she knew when he remembered that
he was talking to an Amazon Elder, especially Cologne, who was not one
to miss important details.
"You've also been banging some hot thing, haven't you?" Cologne
teased.
Ranma facefaulted into the table.
"I was joking, but from your reaction, I'm right." Cologne
commented.
"Yeah, I'm not a... you know. Anyway, I figured you and Shampoo
deserved to find out before it hit the headlines tomorrow." Ranma
responded.
"You really were abducted by aliens and cloned, but the clones
were green-skinned midgets?" Cologne inquired.
"NO! OF COURSE NOT! What kind of crazy story is that?! I was
catapulted to a different dimension, gained magical powers and am now
MAHOU SHOUJO PRETTY RANCHAN!" Ranma responded, posing dramatically.
Cologne arched an eyebrow as she chuckled despite herself. She
knew the last part was a bald-faced lie, but the rest wasn't, "So,
what's the deal with the lookalikes?"
"Magical helpers. I made 'em, but I've been subconsciously
changing their appearance, 'cause I've got such a strong sense of
myself." Ranma answered.
"So, you went to another dimension and got magical powers, but
what else is going on? You wouldn't have dragged a number of
lookalikes along with you if there wasn't a good reason." Cologne
observed.
"Well, the people in the other dimension were from Atlantis, see,
but they'd changed the name of continent when they'd gone there. I got
to be pretty popular, so they decided to jump back with me. So,
Nabiki's helping the king prepare for a meeting with the U.N." Ranma
told her.
"Nice cliff notes. You're missing quite a bit, though.
Everything about you has changed, some slightly, some greatly." Cologne
stated.
"Cliff notes are all you're getting. At least until someone else
blabs." Ranma replied.
"WO AI NI!" *GLOMP*
Ranma and Cologne blinked as Shampoo glomped Ranma's chair.
Ranma looked from across the room at where Shampoo and Cologne were.
[Damn that reflex.] Ranma thought to himself, teleporting back.
He had to make a mental note to work on the reflex teleportation he's
picked up from the imps.
"Okay, I was a tad skeptical about the magical powers until
now..." Cologne told him as he appeared in another seat.
Shampoo looked between the chair she was glomping and Ranma,
trying to figure out how he'd done that. Great-grandmother Cologne had
mentioned magic, but Ranma didn't know magic. She hadn't really paid
attention to his conversation outside of the most recent sentences.
She decided to sit down and listen to what was being said.
"In any case, I came to tell you at least that much. You two can
come visit Harmonia, if you'd like, but I have to warn you that it _IS_
going to be more like the countryside of China than a city, and I'm not
going to be able to do much outside of leave you with some of my
friends." Ranma warned.
"Well, I wouldn't mind. We'll just close shop until we get
back." Cologne responded.
"Shampoo not understand much, but where Ranma go, Shampoo
follow." Shampoo declared.
Kasumi had to admit, it was a bit strange to be talking with
royalty. Prince Daniel had been rather nice, despite the fact that he
seemed to wear that face-covering helmet most of the time. Daniel had
had to leave for his daily sword training, but left Kasumi with
Princess Mina, who'd decided to show Kasumi the library.
"This is rather nice." Kasumi commented, looking at a magic book.
The runes looked like a cross between planetary symbols, kanji, romanji
and random squiggles. Kasumi thought she could make out what the first
two words and spoke them aloud, "Volumeus Luminus."
*POOM*
Mina and Kasumi blinked rapidly, trying to regain their vision
after that spell had gone off.
"Never, ever, EVER recite a Starburst spell indoors without
warning me." Mina told Kasumi.
"Oh my, I didn't think..." Kasumi responded, wondering if the
blue and yellow blot she was looking at was a banner on the wall or
Princess Mina.
"Oh yeah," Mina began, "you aren't familiar with magic. Well,
whatever you do, try not to recite anything you read until we have time
to teach you how to control it."
"How wonderful. I've always wanted to cast spells." Kasumi
replied, smiling brightly as her vision finally corrected itself.
"Ukyou... Ukyou..."
Ukyou murmurred as she rose from her dream. She'd had such a
pleasant dream, one where Ranma had made love to her. He'd been
surprisingly good in her dream. She could almost swear she wasn't a
virgin anymore, but that wasn't possible because it didn't hurt like it
was supposed to.
Ukyou didn't know that Ranma had healed her shortly after the
initial penetration, so as to ease her discomfort. Nor did she knew
that Maidel had been the one to offer that piece of advice after the
fiery haired mistress had shagged Ranma nearly senseless for the very
first time.
She finally opened her stubborn eyelids to see Ranma's smiling
face, "Sorry to wake you, but I wanted to show you Harmonia."
Ukyou snapped upright and stared at Ranma, then dipped a hand
between her legs, not even noticing that she had only been covered by a
sheet, and that had fallen away by her quick sit up.
A few seconds later, she noticed a few things as she slid two
fingers inside of herself: Ranma was in the room, she was naked, Ranma
was sitting on her bed, she was fingering herself to see if she was
still a virgin, and Ranma was next to her; in that order.
"EEEK!" Ukyou cried, covering herself with her sheet.
Ranma blinked, "Funny, you weren't that shy about three and a
half hours ago."
Ukyou's entire body flushed red with embarrassment. A few
seconds passed before she started looking around the room for
something. Ranma held up a pair of silk panties, "These what you were
looking for?"
Ukyou nodded as she hesistantly took the panties.
"Well, I guess I'll leave you alone. Think you can be ready in
about ten minutes?" Ranma inquired as he stood up.
Ukyou nodded.
Ukyou was not the only one returning from dreamland. Akane was
also regaining consciousness. However, unlike Ukyou, who'd awakened to
see the man she loved, Akane awoke to see someone she wished she'd
never seen.
At first glance, the color of her red hair, the sexy and stacked
body, the face with the amused look and the eyes of the woman sitting
next to her bed made Akane think it was Ranma in female form. However,
Ranma-chan had never worn tight latex bodysuits with metal meshed into
cups over the breasts and crotch, nor did Ranma-chan take to wearing
retractable metal claws over her right hand, and Ranma-chan was never
really that tall, even when sitting.
Thus, Akane concluded that it was not Ranma in female form. The
second surprisingly correct answer in the same day would have had those
who hated her searching the sky for a rogue asteroid. However, she
instantly got a severe case of envy. She could never look that good in
tight black latex.... not... that... she.... ever... tried.
"Awake now? Good. We were worried when you charged those
automated defenses." the woman said, managing to get a tone that
somehow said both "I care." and "You moron." at the same time.
"Automated defenses?" Akane inquired.
The woman nodded, "Yes, you see, you were entering a forbidden
area and the magical traps were set to attack anyone who got within a
certain range."
Akane got the feeling, like she did when Nabiki pulled the wool
over her eyes (figuratively and literally), that the story was a made
up one, but just like with Nabiki, Akane accepted it at face value. Of
course, she was still waiting for the part where it was revealed to be
entirely Ranma's fault.
"By the way, who are you?" Akane demanded, forgetting that it was
rude to ask another person's name when one's own name was not given
first. Not that it mattered in this case as everyone in the dungeon
knew her name after word got around that she was the idiot who'd
charged the automated defenses.
"I'm Maidel, one of Ranma's Mistresses." Maidel said.
Akane instantly took that the wrong way. (As if she couldn't.)
"HOW DARE THAT JERK GET MARRIED TO SOME SLUT! I BET THAT PERVERT
HAS AN ENTIRE HAREM OF BIMBOS!!" Akane blurted, leaping to her feet,
while still on the bed.
"Hey!" Maidel growled angrily. She would have calmly corrected
Akane for her blunder, but being called a slut when she didn't cheat on
her primary male lover with another male was inexcuseable, "EX-cuse me,
little miss bird brain, but I don't recall insulting you to your face!"
"You just did!" Akane snapped.
"That was because you insulted me first!" Maidel responded.
Akane's temper flared and she lashed out-only to fall off the end
of the bed and slam face first into the ground. She looked up to see
that she wasn't even facing the right direction, and Maidel hadn't even
touched her.
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Maidel chortled, "D-d-don't tell me-heh heh
heh-that you didn't realize-*SNERK*-that magical lightning screws up
your motor control! Not only are you an idiotic twerp who couldn't
fight her way out of a paper bag, but now you can't even use what
limited skills you have!"
With that, Maidel burst into fresh laughter, clutching her
stomach as she watched Akane try again and again to attack her with
less and less success. Finally, after about the fifth failed attack,
Maidel's laughter died. After the sixth, Maidel's smile faded.
Following the seventh and the eighth, a frown formed on Maidel's
face, "Uh, don't you think you should quit now?"
A quick succession of failed attacks later, it was just sad
watching the angry little girl thrash about. Maidel had decided that
the girl had a mental defect and that it was time to let the poor
girl's body rest, even if the brain was unwilling to.
Maidel carried an Akane-cicle out of the room a minute later,
vowing to see if any wizards knew about curing mental illnesses. In
the meantime, the violent little brat could spend some time on a
torture wheel above a nice hot furnace.
Once Ranma was sure that Lord Titus didn't mind giving Shampoo,
Cologne and Ukyou a tour of the castle and that the trio wouldn't cause
any mayhem for the lord, he headed to check on his mother.
Lord Titus had given him the best piece of passable encouragement
he could, "At least you didn't decide to be King."
That was true. Even if being a general and advisor on top of
being a keeper was hectic from time to time, it was nothing to the
chaos that surrounded King Reginald on a daily basis. It had all
slackened off for the month-long celebration prior to the Gate Gem's
use, but Ranma knew that if he had been King, he probably would have
gone insane.
Things with Nodoka weren't going much better. Apparently, either
inhibitions were lost with renewed youth or his mother really enjoyed
jumping on the bed.
Ranma watched as she bounced up and down on the bed, giggling and
laughing like a child. Finally, she finished bouncing and just giggled
on the bed.
"Testing the springs, are we?" Ranma asked as he approached the
bed.
"Oh, it feels great to have this much energy! Ne, ne, let's play
some games!" Nodoka declared, waving her arms eagerly.
Ranma shrugged. It couldn't hurt to play a few games with his
rejuvenated mother.
Kasumi Tendo was a patient girl. She knew how to take things
slowly, doing them well, and then moving on. However, ever since she
was a little girl, she'd always fantasized about being a magical girl,
like Minky Momo or Code Name Sailor V. She's spent five years wishing
on every star, every blown out birthday candle, and even the blown
eyelashes.(1)
Thus, it was no surprise to anyone who truly knew her (namely, no
one), that she was watching Mina go through the beginning motions of
her fifth spell, a light spell. It was neither as bright nor as big as
the Starburst spell she had cast earlier, but it also didn't blind her.
"You're just soaking this up. But, I think we shouldn't go much
further than five spells a week. You should memorize these spells as
best as you can." Mina advised.
"Oh...." Kasumi pouted.
Mina sighed. A pouting Kasumi Tendo was something that she
couldn't really deal with. Most apprentices accepted the fact that
they weren't ready. However, Kasumi had just learned that somehow,
she'd developed rather strong magical reserves over her teenage years
and had been but a good master away from learning actual spells.
Then again, Mina considered, most of the spells she knew probably
weren't the best for a housewife. The spells Mina had just taught
Kasumi, Shield, Light, Read Magic, Detect Magic and Cure Light Wounds;
were about half of the non-combat spells Mina knew.
Mina shook her head in apology, "Sorry, but this will have to do
for now. I'm nowhere near ready to start teaching you properly and
without preparation, I'm probably going to get us both in over our
heads."
[Not to mention,] Mina thought to herself, [I hadn't even
considered an apprentice yet.]
Meanwhile, down the hall, Nabiki looked King Reginald over. The
king felt out of place without some form of armor, but he wore his
crown, a magical necklace of protection (which resembled a large ruby-
encrusted golden necklace), and carried a ceremonial golden rod (which
looked like a small baseball bat with various finely polished gems all
along it's length and pommel) that one of his ancestors had wielded.
Nabiki wasn't pleased to find out that the rod had various spells
that could decimate an army, but it looked good and it was either that
or various enchanted rings that created elementals that would attack
anyone with hostile intentions. Even if they weren't friendly, killing
people in the United Nation building was NOT a good idea.
The crown allowed King Reginald to read people's thoughts, which
Nabiki would have cut her own arms off to get, but King Reginald had
firmly informed her that she would not get it no matter WHAT the
persuasion. (2)
Nabiki and the royal tailor had managed to work out a large
purple robe with exotic fur along the edges and a draping cape of that
looked the same. On the cape and on the left breast of the robe were
the Harmonian Royal Family Crest.
"Hmmmm, I guess you look the part now." Nabiki declared.
"This won't take long, will it? I mean, I feel almost naked
without my armor." King Reginald pleaded, feeling very out of place.
The grizzled veteran didn't like resorting to magical protection that
could be so easily stolen. Armor at least had something to back itself
up with should the magic within it fail.
"Sorry, but you'll have to get used to it for a while at least.
The media alone will take a while." Nabiki responded.
"Ranma mentioned that once... what is 'media'?" King Reginald
asked.
"Hoo-boy... don't you people have newspapers?" Nabiki asked.
"We have paper, but it's largely for letters and books." King
Reginald asked.
"Town cryers? Scribes?" Nabiki asked.
"We have scribes. But why would a town want someone crying? It
seems a bit cruel..." King Reginald began.
"Nevermind." Nabiki groaned. She thought about how to explain
it. For once, she wished she'd put more time into watching those B
movies where people got flung around in time, "The media is like a
bunch of scribes. They write letters, which get mass-produced, and
then distributed all around the world in the form of newspapers, which
are like books that are made about important daily events that people
can buy. Some use cameras, which are a technology that take portraits
in an instant. Of course, not all of them are good. Some of them
spread lies and take embarrassing pictures."
"Why? After all, the truth would get out eventually." King
Reginald asked, obviously a bit shocked that people would bother
writing lies.
"Because it gets them more money and stirs up trouble, which gets
their papers more readers, thus more money. And in our world, the
truth isn't so easily obtained, but some papers are infamous for lying,
so people buy them to laugh at the outrageous lies." Nabiki explained.
King Reginald considered all that, "It sounds like a very complex
world."
"Yeah, that's just the media. You've had it easy since you
essentially control Harmonia, but politics are about ten times more
complex. Especially since the lies aren't as clear cut." Nabiki
responded.
"Trust me, young lady. Politics are an arena I know a fair bit
better..." King Reginald told her, recalling all the cease-fire, trade,
and temporary alliance agreements he'd made with Keepers in the past.
Flames erupted from the ground around Duluth, Minnesota, reaching
up a hundred meters above even the tallest building. People outside
looking at the massive flames were the first to panic. But even people
inside buildings began panicking as the ground began to crack and shift
beneath the entire town as the curtain of flame swept inward,
swallowing buildings and people alike.
Within ten minutes, the entire town was nothing more than a
massive burn mark on the face of the earth.
=======================================================================
Okay, King Reginald and Keeper Ranma didn't make it to the U.N.
this time. I wanted to get this out there so my still-vaguely loyal
readers can have something to read while they anticipate me getting off
my duff and writing more about DK Ranma.
Sorry to anyone in Duluth, Minnesota who was offended that your
town gets incinerated.
(1) The third one is a strange form of wishing that I heard of.
Take an eyelash that's loose and put it on your index finger, close
your eyes, make your wish and then blow as hard as you can. When you
open your eyes, if the eyelash is gone, your wish will eventually come
true. If the eyelash isn't gone, your wish won't come true.
(2) What Nabiki didn't know what that it could only be used once
per day. Mind-reading magics were not something that one wanted to
advertise in large quantities.
Next time, on Dungeon Keeper Ranma Z!... er, no, just regular
Dungeon Keeper Ranma. No Majin Buu or Cell or people screaming at
themselves for twenty minutes here, folks!
Chapter 12: New Stage, New Rules
A dangerous new keeper has gotten their hands on a Dungeon Heart
that was without a keeper!
The meeting between the U.N., King Reginald and Ranma (really!)
And Harmonia meets Earth!
Ukyou and Shampoo learn about what Ranma did to get back home
from one of his minions!
Akane gets psycho-analyzed! With psycho-energy! (kidding!)
Nabiki gets a new faithful servant!
And sex with tentacles! (kidding!)
Line Removed:
"Oh, it feels great to have this much energy! Ne, ne, let's play
some games!" Nodoka declared, waving her arms eagerly.
Ranma sighed, the only thing that he could do was say, "Sure,
pull my finger!"
Possibly Interesting Note To Take Up More Space:
"Then father of Shampoo's children not here." Shampoo responded,
smashing Mousse out of the open door with a well-placed spinning knee
to Mousse's face, with a grace found only from having done it over
three thousand times before.
Factoid: If Shampoo started using the spinning-knee-to-Mousse's-
face once a day when she was 7 years old, she would be roughly 16 years
old by the time she got to 3000.
Omake: Gross, But Hilarious
Ranma shrugged. It couldn't hurt to play a few games with his
rejuvenated mother.
Later....
Horny groaned as Lundar, Nodoka and Ranma-chan tittered with
laughter as the reaper landed on the Revealed Secret square. The pink
bows were a bit silly, but he could get used to the sheer purple gown
and the pink fuzzy bunny slippers.
"Okay, Horny, who do you think is the DREAMY-est?!" Nodoka asked,
almost squealing with girlish glee.
"Well, I'd have to say Leo..." Horny replied.
Lundar, Nodoka, and Ranma-chan squealed with laughter.
(
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