=========================================================== Dungeon Keeper Ranma
Chapter 12: New Stage, New Rules
By A-kun
===========================================================
Akane awoke from dreamland for the second time that day (third
time if one counted waking in the morning). Her bed seemed a bit warm,
but that didn't really matter. She closed her eyes and tried to turn
onto her side. She couldn't.
For some reason, that didn't bring immediate alarm to her mind.
Instead, she simply tried to turn the other way. Again, she found
herself incapable of doing so. The heat on her back was growing
unpleasant. She decided to turn onto her stomach.
When she couldn't do that, she finally opened her eyes. A stone
ceiling. Akane contemplated why that bothered her. Then, she realized
a stone ceiling meant she wasn't at home. Which could only mean she'd
either been kidnapped in her sleep or... or that Harmonia thing, the
arrogant bint Maidel and such HAD happened.
She took in her situation rather quickly following that
revelation. She was laying spread-eagle on a thick wooden wheel that
was spinning. She glanced beneath her to see a stove of hot coals
sitting roughly two feet beneath her, which was why she was
uncomfortably hot. She was also quite naked.
The confusing part was that she didn't seem to be tied down. She
tried to pull her limbs up and found that they were held down as if
they were bound by invisible rope.
Maidel looked up from an interesting book that she'd had the imps
sneak from the Tendo household. It had incredibly realistic pictures
of naked people having sex inbetween fascinating articles and letters
from people who'd wrote in about their own sexual experiences.
Akane saw the title of the book and frowned. She'd seen Nabiki
reading it avidly and when she'd asked about it, her sister had said it
was a health book, but she could see quite clearly from her angle that
it was NOT. (Of course, what Akane didn't know was that Nabiki had
stolen it from Kasumi, who'd found it in the attic in her mother's
belongings)
"Oh, you're awake again." Maidel noted idly. The articles were
fairly involving, but she really had to get around to dealing with the
brat. Then she'd have to swap with Nausica for the 'graphic novel' her
fellow mistress had an imp swipe for her called "Revolutionary Girl
Utena".
"Well, I think it's high time you started learning some
manners." Maidel declared, forcing her will into the torture chamber
and cooling the coals beneath Akane, who looked greatly relieved.
"HMPH! I don't need some loose tart telling me about manners!"
Akane snarled.
Maidel would have gotten mad had Akane called her that when
they'd first met, but Maidel was beyond that. Akane continued to
struggle to get free in utter futility.
"Don't bother. The magic of this place will bind you to that
wheel until certain circumstances are met." Maidel explained, "The way
I see it, little girl, you have a few options in your position."
Akane continued to struggle, but paused every so often to glare
daggers at Maidel, who continued her lecture as if knowing Akane would
listen, even if she didn't appear to, "Option one, You could keep
struggling and cussing, which would force me to turn on the coals to
help you sweat out that nasty temper of yours. Option two, you could
struggle and cuss worse, forcing me to move you to the electric chair.
We affectionately call it Zappy the Magic Mood Changer. Option three,
you could relent to being punished and released at my whim. Option
four, you could be punished by another professional torturer. Option
five, you beg for forgiveness."
Akane stopped struggling and considered her options. She looked
rather thoughtful before she looked at Maidel with guilt and remorse in
her eyes, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me."
"I put in option five to see if you were a gullible dork." Maidel
announced, smiling as Akane suddenly unleashed a torrent of colorful
curses.
Maidel sighed. Ranma said that he didn't want Maidel to do
anything that might hurt Akane permanently. But he never said anything
about anyone else.... Maidel stood up and stuck her head out the door.
Three of her fellow mistresses were playing sex poker, a more lewd
version of strip poker where the losers bartered sexual favors after
losing their clothing. Maidel decided that they would be perfect,
"Violet, Sugar, Wendy, you bored?"
The three looked at her and answered in unison, "YES!"
"Got a new victim. Wanna break her in?" Maidel asked.
The trio looked at Maidel with sparkles in their eyes. Had
Maidel ever seen an anime, she would recognize it as the 'Kawaii Girl
Sparkle of Joy' (1).
They got their uniforms on (had to look professional, ya know),
and scurried into the torture chamber, eager to return to their
favorite past-time.
"Thar she be..." Olan said with a thick salty seaman accent.(2)
Ranma rolled his eyes, but had to admit that it was an impressive
feat of magic, "Well, I can understand why you never employed them
during the war..."
On the north side of the castle, away from any possible direct
attacks, were twenty large galleons.(3) They looked like any other
wooden vessel that became romanticized in pirate movies, only there was
one major difference: These galleons were a hovering a hundred feet
above sea level.
"Do we have anyone familiar with piloting them?" Ranma asked.
Olan nodded, ditching the accent, "We've had a few wizards
working with sailors. For all intensive purposes, they're more
manueverable, but they still handle like ships at sea."
"Well, since they're all set, I suppose the only thing left is to supply 'em and get ready to move out. We'll probably leave as soon as Nabiki feels she and King Reginald are ready." Ranma declared.
"Hey, Ranma?" Nabiki asked as she stepped out onto the airship
dock.
"Yeah?" Ranma asked.
"I'd like to talk to you about this planned meeting with the
U.N." Nabiki told him.
"Okay." Ranma responded. It felt a bit strange for her to be
asking him to talk rather than the other way around, but he had to
admit anything she needed to talk about would definitely be of value.
"Have you contacted the governments about this meeting?" Nabiki
asked.
"Uh, no, not really. I thought we'd fly in and present
ourselves." Ranma replied.
"And risk being shot at as a possible terrorist attack? No, you
need to announce this sort of thing. The U.N. might not even be in
session, meaning that if you simply go to the U.N. building, you'd
probably just waste a trip. We should have King Reginald do most of
the speeches, too. What about disclosure?" Nabiki asked.
"Huh?" Ranma inquired, blinking.
"How much are you going to tell them? They'd want to know all
they can about Harmonia. You're going to be talking from a diplomatic
advantage, seeing as you understand this world a lot better than most
of the world will understand Harmonia. And they will definitely resent
that fact." Nabiki told him.
"Well, I don't know. I was kinda figuring on breaking everything
slowly." Ranma responded.
Nabiki shook her head, "Full disclosure would be best, Ranma.
Maybe some alteration of minor facts that you think might make things
iffy," Nabiki gave him a well-meaning look, which informed him someone
had blabbed about the truth to her, "but the more honest you are at the
start, the more likely they'll trust you later. And you should
definitely bring a variety of creatures to show them so they know you
aren't faking. The best looking and most of the well-behaved
creatures. Probably a dragon or a salamander would do well."
Ranma sighed, "Yeah, I guess."
"Also, you should prepare for a diplomatic banquet, you'll
probably want to prepare for the media, set up special informational
amusement parks... Frankly, Ranma, this sort of thing won't be easily
taken care of." Nabiki told him.
"Lemme guess, you want to sign on as Public Relations." Ranma
asked, smiling.
Nabiki cricked her neck, "Actually, considering how exhuasting it
is, I'd rather not, but seeing as I doubt you could find anyone subtle
enough to replace me at the moment, I'll have to accept."
"Thanks Nabiki." Ranma said, smiling appreciatively.
"Yeah, yeah." Nabiki answered, blushing as she waved aside the
compliment.
A week passed. Kasumi continued to learn spells, but found she
had a fellow classmate when Ukyou repeated one of the spells she heard
Kasumi recite and promptly blew one of the unused castle towers to
gravel. Luckily, no one was hurt and the dwarves and imps were able to
restore the tower to it's former state in a matter of days.
The rest of Ranma's time was consumed trying to balance between
attending to his rejuvenated mother, who was violently refusing to
accept Genma as her husband; talking with Cologne about getting the
Jokuketsuzoku village 'fixed up'; arranging votes for 'best mannered'
among the various species (save the undead, who didn't want to be
involved anyway); announcing the 'formation' of a new island kingdom to
the United States; planning the banquets; and trying to keep from going
insane by watching Kasumi and Ukyou throw fireballs at magically moving
targets.
Kasumi stopped suddenly in the middle of practice and turned to
Ranma with an abrupt question, "Hey, Ranma, where's Akane?"
Ranma blinked. When was the last time he'd seen Aka-
"SONOVA-" Ranma blurted, teleporting down to the torture
chambers.
"That can't be good." Ukyou noted.
Down in the torture chambers, Ranma found the need to cast a
geyser spell. Akane had actually been most grateful as Ranma had
gotten her away from the overly horny mistresses that had 'treated' her
over the past week. She'd converted an hour into the first day, but
the mistresses had been rather EXCITED in their duties. So much so
that they failed to note or care that it had happened.
Three days later, the ambassadorial fleet finally made it to the
U.N. building. The flight had only taken a mere ten hours, but thanks
to the time zone differences, it had been closer to seventeen hours (or
was it eighteen? Ranma hated figuring out how time zones worked).
Standing in attendance were the best-mannered and best-looking of
the non-earth based creatures. Several elves, half Sylvan, half dark;
Bagor and three of his old training buddies who'd managed to survive
the war; a Salamander named Hassaraaaaaacckkk; a dragon named Zone; a
bile demon named Erpus; a troll named Grumble; Zachariach the Elite
Dark Angel; and two fairies, Pfil and Pamela. Nabiki had twitched
uncomfortably at the names and appearances of the fairies, but didn't
explain why. Ranma decided to shrug it off.
The meeting with the U.N. went over more smoothly than Nabiki had
figured possible. The heavily-Islamic-based governments were notably
put off by the fairies, Zone, Horny, Zachariach and Erpus. Especially
when it was noted that Horny, Zachariach and Erpus were actually of
demonic origin, as were the demon spawn that had remained back in
Harmonia.
The U.S. congress' reaction was split. Twenty percent were
whole-heartedly against the idea of Harmonia's demonic-infested
existance, let alone any idea of an alliance; twenty percent were
undecided; fifty percent were in favor, as it was revealed that
numerous animals, including griffins, unicorns and pegasi, lived on
Harmonia as well (even though they'd never been included in the war,
they did exist). Not to mention, those elf chicks were _hot_ (that
alone had gained twenty percent of the vote).
And the last ten percent were laughing too hard to vote for some
apparent reason. One senator later managed to say something about "the
coalition", then burst into fresh laughter. He was almost
hospitalized.
Most of the rest of the countries were either trying to figure
out if the whole thing was somehow an elaborate hoax, or ultimately
uncaring ("Another country? Big deal. So long as they don't invade my
country, I don't have a problem with it.")
It was when the U.N. and the U.S. tried editting the final press
release that things hit the fan. The media whores...er, hoard, were
nearly in an orgasmic frenzy, which could only be likened to "a plague
of locusts o'er the land", reporting willy-nilly about the various
creatures and trying to get exclusive interviews.
Oddly enough, the first few major interviews went not to the big-
time networks, like ABC, CBS, NBC or CNN; nor the large magazines, like
Time or People; but to smaller-time talk shows and magazines. Horny
showed up on Comedy Central's "The Daily Show With John Stewart",
Lundar spoke on PBS' Masterpiece Theater, and Zone showed up on
TechTV's "X-Play" for a reason that didn't become known until an imp
reported that Zone had managed to use a polymorph spell to disguise
himself as human and visited a gaming arcade (some viewers thought the
station had splurged for cutting-edge 3D graphics for some oblique
reason). Bagor signed on with "The Crocodile Hunter" to help guide
host Steve Irwin to the nesting grounds of various new species that
existed only on Harmonia.
The National Geographic went nearly insane at the possibility of
reporting on the life functions of Harmonia's many inhabitants and
managed to sign a painful but valuable lease to explore the island with
a few powerful guides.
And for nearly seventy-two hours of having to beg for reports
from lesser stations and magazines, the big stations and papers finally
got limited license to speak with various people and creatures of
Harmonia.
A few nosy independent reporters attempted to get around to
various off-limits areas, only to find that Ranma's security around
those areas was beyond their meager means to ever perceive. After all,
if one didn't know there WAS a door there, how could one even begin
thinking of opening it?
But the exhuastive interviews and celebrity acclaim weren't all
that Ranma found himself saddled with, as the Governor of Minnesota,
Jessie Ventura, asked for someone to help the investigation in the
disappearance of Duluth, Minnesota.
Ranma stared down at the massive burn mark. He couldn't _sense_
any other Dungeon Hearts, but that didn't mean there weren't any
around. After all, the Dungeon Hearts were capable of producing the
Fog of War, which would prevent him from directly sensing the
opponent's Dungeon Heart.
He cast Sight of Evil twenty times around the area and looked for
any trace of imps expanding their lords' territory. After about an
hour, he finally discovered what he was looking for.
"Well, a Dungeon Heart _was_ here, but from the looks of it,
whoever owned it hauled ass out of here, taking everything they stole
with them." Ranma commented to Lundar.
"Then it is as we feared..." Lundar noted.
"......" Ranma replied.
Underneath a nearby town, the sound of metal striking metal could have been heard... if one was roughly three hundred feet below ground. The sound had been almost constant for the last several hours. It continued for another twenty minutes before finally stopping.
Had an observer been looking at the source, they would have found it in a workshop, where the glowing figure of a man stood next to a hot forge. The glow faded as the man wiped sweat off his face and proceeded to put something into a barrel of water. The water hissed as the heat from the object changed it into steam.
He turned his head towards the lit doorway, revealing a haggard man in his mid-twenties. He wore a sweat-soaked yellow t-shirt and light grey shorts.
As if on cue, an imp appeared in the door way. It hurried over next to the man who pulled the object out of the water and handed it to the imp.
"That should be the last of it." he announced.
The imp took the item and hurried off, as if it hadn't understood the man at all. He 'tch'ed, then shrugged. He didn't need those imps to understand. They were just lackeys.
He grabbed towel from nearby and wiped his face and arms free of sweat before heading into the next room where several imps were busy putting the final piece together for his masterpiece.
"Once this is done, I'll dominate this world! BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHA-HAHAHAAHAHAAA!!" the man laughed.
Ukyou and Shampoo were shocked. Well, Shampoo wasn't entirely
shocked, seeing as she came from a warrior culture, but the news was
still rather surprising, as it had to do with Ranma.
"Ranma killed people?" Ukyou inquired.
Horny didn't understand what the whole big deal was. After all,
for the longest time, in order to survive, there were only four real
options: be strong enough to kill others, be smart enough to kill
others, be smart enough to hide or be rich enough to buy protection.
"Yes, but usually only the people who would never convert to his
side. There were a number of exceptions early on, but those were
because he wasn't good enough to convert people yet." Horny replied.
"You telling truth?" Shampoo asked, her eyes narrowing slightly
in suspicion.
"When someone is as powerful as I, they have no need to make
false statements. To do so would be pointless as it garners no further
power and may get me in further trouble with my master." Horny replied.
Shampoo sighed. The large red demon had a point. There was no
benefit in lying about Ranma. She glanced at Ukyou to gauge the chef-
turned-apprentice's reaction. The reaction wasn't abject horror like
Shampoo had believed most likely, but rather contemplation.
Apparently, the japanese girl had either recovered and was likely
considering if she could still stand to pursue someone who had blood on
their hands. Had Shampoo been privy to Ukyou's thoughts, she would
have found her assumption to be wrong.
Ukyou was NOT considering if she could stand to pursue Ranma.
Instead, she chiding herself for not picking up on the signals earlier.
The amount of money Ranma had made, the fame he'd garnered, and even
the new powers, all of it wasn't likely unless Ranma had done something
violent or underhanded to get it.
"Where is Ranma now?" Ukyou asked.
"Investigating the possibility of another enemy." Horny
responded.
"Another enemy?" Shampoo inquired.
"Has he had the chance to talk to you about the Dungeon Heart?"
Horny queried, hoping that the answer was "yes", as it would take a
LOOOONG time to explain.
Both girls nodded, much to Horny's relief.
Horny scratched his chin, "Well, there's a high percentage of
Dungeon Heart users who are evil. The Dungeon Hearts occassionally get
flung into another dimension instead of simply being destroyed. I
don't know all the details on that, but the heart of the matter is that
a number of Dungeon Hearts have come to this dimension and Ranma has to
seek them out."
"So, new enemy is strong like Ranma?" Shampoo inquired.
"I don't think so, but there's the possibility that they might
become as strong as him. In any case, it would be better to deal with
them while they're still relatively weak than try and fight them when
they get stronger." Horny replied.
Shampoo had to agree that the logic was sound. When evil was
involved, it was better to take it out immediately, regardless of
fairness.
Ukyou agreed with it as well, but her mind was focused on
something else. She thanked Horny and left, deep in thought.
Nabiki was a bit put off. She didn't normally mind the fairies
who flew around willy-nilly, she most certainly did not want any
tagging along with her and her new personal assistant, Pirotess the
Dark Elf (another person who caused Nabiki's eye to twitch for reasons
the residents of Harmony could not understand). Especially, not Pfil
and Pamela.
Perhaps it was the outfits they wore, which closely resembled the
tight latex bodysuits of the Mistress'. Perhaps it was the way they'd
make out when bored, not even bothering to move to a secluded area.
But mainly, it had to do with the fact that they reminded her of the
two main stars of the pornographic novel, The Bondage Fairies.
Worse, they'd become "attracted" to Nabiki's brilliant mind and
were trying to persuade her to try being a lesbian. Nabiki had no real
animosity towards lesbians, since she had long since become convinced
that Akane was one, but she wanted to remain heterosexual.
Pirotess, at least, agreed with Nabiki. After all, she was
dating a nice Dark Knight by the name of Ashram (who's name and face
brought that twitch back to Nabiki's eye). And though she'd tried that
lesbian thing (sort of a necessity when one was converted in Ranma's
torture chambers), she'd decided it wasn't for her either.
But that wasn't stopping the two naughty fairies from trying to
"convert" Nabiki in their own very suggestive way.
Finally, as Nabiki and Pirotess were trying to focus on
scheduling the next conference with Barbara Walters and Lord Titus in
the library, while Pamela and Pfil had wild sex on a table next to
them, salvation finally came in the form of a rogue.
"Shoo! Shoo, be off with ye now." the rogue said, shooing the
fairies off.
The two fairies, disappointed, gathered their clothes and flew
out of the library.
"How did you do that?" Nabiki asked.
"You just need to know how to deal with them. Doesn't always
work, but if you acted like they're nothing more than an annoyance,
they generally get the idea." the rogue responded.
"You're... Autolycus, right?" Pirotess inquired, "Yeah, we met
during the attack on Lord Tiberius' domain."
Autolycus smiled, "I'm glad you remember... the King of Thieves."
Pirotess rolled her eyes, "You were decent, but no king."
Autolycus' smile faded a bit, "Well, sure, but that's what I'm
aiming for."
"It's good to have goals." Pirotess commented.
"Here's another: How about dinner?" Autolycus inquired.
"'fraid not. I'm afraid my boyfriend, Ashram, wouldn't
appreciate that." Pirotess answered.
"And I'm too busy right now." Nabiki replied, concentrating on
giving Titus enough time to rest and have lunch inbetween the Walters
interview and the ceremonial appointment of new lords of the land.
Autolycus snapped his fingers in frustration. He'd been hoping
one of them was free, but it was a better man who accepted a lady's
refusal, "Well, perhaps another time."
As the rogue left, Pirotess glanced at the sunlight on the floor,
"Actually, Nabiki, you should probably get something to eat."
Nabiki nodded in agreement as she finished the schedule. Lord
Titus would just have to eat a bit quicker than normal. She hurried
down towards the kitchen, hoping to grab a bite of lunch.
As she neared the longest stairwell in the castle, however, a
blonde woman stepped out of room just next to the stairs. Nabiki
noticed the woman was staggering a bit and holding her head, but as she
neared, the woman suddenly fell towards the stairwell. Panicking,
Nabiki quickly grabbed the woman by the left arm and pulled her
backwards to safety.
"You okay?" Nabiki inquired.
The blonde woman shook her head weakly, a cold sweat on her face.
Nabiki frowned. Lunch would have to wait until she could find a place
for the woman to rest.
=======================================================================
(1) - This is where four pointed stars appear in the character's
eyes and/or in the air around them.
(2) - SEA-MAN, SEA-MAN, not semen, SEA-MAN! It's a term used for
sailors. But I was going to be using "sailors" a lot, so I decided to
add some class and a minor thesaurus.
(3) - Galleon is a term for a good sized sailing vessel. They
were popular because they were fair at just about everything, if memory
serves.
Chapter 13: Things Aren't Always As They Seem
Ranma finds the first new Dungeon Keeper!
Barbara Walters asks Titus the infamous question! (no, not really.)
An all female slumber party in Ranma's dungeon!
Akane french-kisses a Demon Spawn! (no, not really.)
The Catholic Church throws a hissy-fit!
And more hot and sweaty flesh!
COMPLETE CAST LIST (living and deceased)
as well as their unit designation!
Side note: A strange thing about DK2 is that the random name generator can give just about any name to any creature. I once found myself with a Mistress named Bagor and a Bile Demon named Lotus. Only the Elite creatures, Princes, King Reginald and the various Lords of the Land have set names and even then, they might be given secondary names (>_<).
(* indicates the person did not exist in the game. Instead, they were either made up by me or were taken from another source.)
========================================
Notables/Irregulars
-------------------
* Ranma Saotome (Keeper)
* Nodoka Saotome (Knight)
* Genma Saotome (Goblin)
* Kasumi Tendo (Wizard)
* Nabiki Tendo (Negotiator)
* Akane Tendo (Bile Demon)
* Soun Tendo (Monk)
* Ukyou Kuonji (Wizard)
* Shampoo (Giant)
* Cologne (Monk)
* Ryoga Hibiki (Barbarian)
* Mikado Sanzenin (Putz)
* Tatewaki Kuno (Samurai)
* Kodachi Kuno (Mistress)
Horniculus [Horny] (Horned Reaper)
* Lundar (Advisor)
* Grim (Horned Reaper - Returned to Havoc)
* Havoc (Dark God)
Keepers
-------
Gargoyle (Keeper - Deceased)
Dante (Keeper - Exiled)
Morgana (Keeper - Exiled)
Drakon (Keeper - Exiled)
Bruxiel (Keeper - Deceased)
Malachi (Keeper - Exiled)
Malleus (Keeper - Deceased)
Ventrius (Keeper - Exiled)
Geld (Keeper - Exiled)
Faust (Keeper - Exiled)
Fabius (Keeper - Exiled)
Nemesis (Keeper - Deceased)
Lords/Royalty
-------------
Lord Antonius (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Darius (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Avaricious (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Ludwig (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Constantine (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Ironhelm (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Sigmund (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Titus (Lord of the Land - Promoted to General)
Lord Bramble (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Ronin (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
* Lord Fallow (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
* Lord Stardust (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
* Lord Chikan (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
* Lord Sigmas (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Tiberius (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Volstag (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
Lord Pureheart (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
* Lord Zenith (Lord of the Land - Deceased)
* Princess Relena (Princess/Monk)
* Princess Honey (Princess/Knight)
* Princess Mina (Princess/Wizard)
Prince Timothy (Prince/Knight)
Prince Anthony (Prince/Knight)
Prince Daniel (Prince/Knight)
King Reginald (King/Knight)
* Glynn (Stone Knight - Destroyed)
* Erdrick (Stone Knight - Destroyed)
Minions
-------
Michael (Knight)
Corwin (Knight)
Lynn (Fairy)
Loxias (Thief)
Bagor (Goblin)
Maidel (Mistress)
Lotus (Mistress)
Mina (Mistress)
Nausica (Mistress)
Olan (Warlock)
Locar (Warlock)
Kain (Royal Guard)
Ian (Royal Guard)
Goronis (Knight)
Greylle (Wizard)
Armace (Wizard)
Harkon (Dark Angel - Deceased)
Carrion (Dark Angel - Deceased)
Leichas (Dark Angel - Deceased)
Kaleb (Elite Dark Knight)
Gervaise (Elite Rogue)
Kessler van Doom (Elite Vampire)
Bane (Elite Skeleton)
Almeric (Elite Warlock)
Grubb (Elite Goblin)
Knud (Elite Troll)
Bloz (Elite Bile Demon)
Furnace (Elite Salmander)
Dominique (Elite Mistress)
Zenobia (Elite Dark Elf)
Bzzzt (Elite Firefly)
Zachariach (Elite Dark Angel)
* Dart (Elite Royal Guard - Red)
* Shana (Elite Royal Guard - White)
* Rose (Elite Royal Guard - Black)
* Haschel (Elite Royal Guard - Purple)
* Meru (Elite Royal Guard - Blue)
* Albert (Elite Royal Guard - Green)
* Kongol (Elite Royal Guard - Gold)
New Cast
--------
* Autolycus (Rogue)
* Pfil (Fairy)
* Pamela (Fairy)
* Hassaraaaaaacckkk (Salamander)
* Zone (Dragon)
* Erpus (Bile Demon)
* Grumble (Troll)
* Pirotess (Dark Elf)
* Ashram (Dark Knight)
==========================================================
Omake Feature:
People You Would Never EVER Want To Get A Dungeon Heart
Or
A Dungeon Heart Is Forever (AT LEAST UNTIL YOU KILL THEM!)
==========================================================
Excel blinked. The path to ACROSS headquarters had roughly six
or seven turns with two other possible directions at each turn. She'd
always wondered what was down most of the other turns. Since she was
done with her report for the day (with it's consequential dunking, of
course), and Hyatt (or Hatchan) had already headed home, Excel decided
to indulge her curiosity just this once.
She stepped down on of the first wrong turns and had gotten
roughly seventeen steps down the path when the building above the path
was knocked down, causing an earth tremor that broke the cement beneath
her feet, sending her plummetting to the dark depths of a formerly
unexplored cavern.
She only managed to scream out, "I DON'T THINK I DESERVE TO FAll
again so soon, you stupid-*"
Excel awoke with a splitting headache. However, the fact that
she hadn't seen the Great Will of the Macrocosm meant that she was
still alive.
She opened her eyes to see a giant red demon holding a massive
scythe staring down at her across from a grey-haired old man wearing a
black robe and leaning heavily on a staff. Both were looking down at
her with disbelief.
"She CAN'T be our new keeper..." the red demon began, a lot of
disbelief in his voice. Excel took a brief moment to look it over.
The demon was large. It stood easily seven feet tall with thick
muscles that would have put most of the large guys Ranma knew to shame.
It had red skin, an enormous chin, yellow slitted eyes, hooved feet and
two large horns growing from the side of it's head, giving it an almost
demonic look. Over it's chest and shoulders was metal armor, it wore a
loin cloth with hip guards and on the front side of it's legs were
thick metal armor similar to the kind it wore on it's chest. In it's
nose was a thick black ring, reminding Excel of a bull's nose ring.
She sat up as the old man began to speak, "Well, she's better
than nothing..."
Excel huffed as she jumped to her feet with a look of
indignation, "I'm not nothing or a keeper or a Keeper of Nothing! I am
the Senior Officer and Public Relations Officer of ACROSS, EXCEL!"
"That's...... quaint. My name is Lundar and his is Horniculus or
Horny for short. You have landed on the Dungeon Heart, thus... you are
our new master." Lundar explained.
Excel's thoughts processes went so: Horny & Lundar = New
Servants, New Servants = Praise from Ilpalazzo, Praise from Ilpalazzo =
AWESOME!, AWESOME! = Possible regular meals!!!
Excel smiled evilly, "Oh, this is going to be sweeeeeeet...."
Excel Excel - Excel Saga
Pros: ACROSS gains a powerful new weapon; Il Palazzo no longer
need worry about personnel problems; conquest of F City, F Prefecture
can actually be completed.
Cons: Imps aren't that useful at striking fear into the hearts of
the citizens of F City, F Prefecture; Imps would turn into Mini-Excels
(can you imagine the size of the pit needed to dunk all of them?); Il
Palazzo would need to rely on Excel; Horny would probably leave.
Today's Experiment. . . . . BAD IDEA
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Got something to add to this feature? Want to write a mini-story
of how horrible these ideas might be? Feel free to e-mail it to me at
akun15@hotmail.com
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geocities.com/tokyo/island) (
geocities.com/tokyo)