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	Pokemon History

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	Pikachu
	The Pikachu Pokemon evolved from a rather curious rat that we'll name 'Dead' for reasons that will become obvious later.  Dead had just gotten free from his iron metal prison that the humans called a 'Cage'.  However, due to the little metal handle which was made to be easily accessible mixed with the stupid placement of the 'Cage', the handle slid into an outlet, electrifying poor Dead.  This happened so much to Dead that he began to be able to create bursts of electricity. Dead's descendents grew up in the same environment.  After two and a half generations, Dead's grandchildren became Pikachu Pokemons.  Of course, Dead was dead.

	Koffing
	This unusual pokemon evolved from the Blowfish.  Subjected to unusual tests of leaving them in coffee and feeding them donuts, they started out liking these substances and saying "Coffee!", "Jelly-filled" and "Donuts!".  It is believed that a malfunctioning nuclear powerplant in Springfield aided these strange, disgusting creatures to evolve into the floating monsters they are today.

	Spearow/Fearow
	These enormous avians were originally related to the pigeon, which explains why they are so annoying.  They tend to leave crap all over too.

	Charmander
	At frat parties across the country, a new hit was formed.  Lighting up lizard tails.  Well, you can see where this led.

	Squirtle
	Well, once the lizard-tail lighting up thing started, some frat boys tried doing it with turtles.  But the turtles were smart and knew what this would lead to.  They began spitting water to put out the lighters until either the frat boys gave up or it died of dehydration.

	Bulbasaur
	A mad scientist one day decided that he would join his two most favorite things in the world together.  A hamster and an onion and Voila, bulbasaur was born.  Kinda.

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	POKEMON PUNS!

	"Well, I C U too, BONE-head."

	"Your MEOWTH is writing checks your ASH can't cash!"

	"%... come with me on a MAGIKARP-et ride...%"

	"You're always MUKing things up!"

	"I don't know, it's rather CHANSEY."

	"Earth is half a PARASECT away."

	"ABRA-KADABRA-ALAKAZAM!!"

	"%... There she was, just a-walkin' down the street singin' *DU-DUO, DO-DRI-IO!*...%"

	"We've got to e-RATICATE the enemy..."

	"YOOO, JOE!"
	"ARBOK!!"

	"Oh it's my turn?  Well, I guess I'd better GOLBAT..."

	"I'-MACHAMP-een fighter..."

	"Oh, get on your feet, you stupid idiot.  The last thing we need is a worthless GRAVELER..."

	"Oh, how GASTLY..."

	"Man, I'm feeling DROWSEE..."

	"Maybe we should think about typing this program in ONIX..."

	"Well, I picked her as the EXEGGUTOR of my will...."

	"JYNX!  1,2,3,4,5..."

	"My voice is rather HORSEA..."

	Desperately SEAKING Shampoo

	"%...STARYU.... STARMIE.... say it together, naturally....%"

	"Man, my SCYTHER is such a pain.  She keeps coming into my room..."

	"My butt hurts."
	"DITTO."

	"Anyone wanna come along?  We're going for pizza."
	"I wanna go!"
	"MEW TWO!  MEW TWO!!"

	"%ELECT-A-BUZZ-aloo...%"

	"GOL-ee, that DEEN is such a pain in the..."

	"DRATINI, shaken, not stirred..." Mr. Bond said.

	"ZAP D.O.S.!  ZAP D.O.S.!!"

	"FLARE ON!!" Johnny Storm declared.

	"He's at the Thirty, the Twenty, he's surrounded by tacklers, but it looks like he's making a RAPIDASH for the goal line!"

	"RHYD-ON, brothah."

	"Now you SEAKING, now you don't."