WHAT IN THE HELL IS HASHING? ....

(published) 
 

The caption read: 

"A merry company of athletic pedestrian sportsmen who styled themselves the Thames Hare and Hound Club were 'want to seek healthy pastime in the pursuit of mock chase following a paper trail laid by two of the fellows'. They usually met at the 'well known public house, the Kings Head Roehampton Bottom' where they equipped themselves 'in fitting attire'. The running was 'tolerably correct,' but always spirited and full of enjoyment." 

The game then showed up in Malaysia due to English influence and its vast greenery. It was internationally agreed that the present Hash House Harriers was conceived in Kuala Lumpur in about 1938. The real founder was A.S. Gispert, an Australian, who belonged to the Selangor Club.

One Monday, after a particularly wild party, Gispert decided to sweat out excess of the weekend by running round the padang. He started doing this every Monday after work and soon others began to join him. 
The group would adjourn to a Chinese eatery known as Hash House after every run. Soon the runners began running at different routes around Malaysian countryside, and the Chinese proprietor would always meet them with the beer wagon at their finish. Overcome with gratitude, Hash House harriers named their club by his establishment. 

At the last count, there are 1,500 active chapters worldwide with over 100,000 members in 95 countries. The United States boasts the largest number - over 400 with about 40,000 members. Malaysia ranks fourth in having 120 chapters with a membership of 8,000 (Star -March 14, 1998). There are also clubs in Singapore, Australia, Indonesia, South Korea, Hong Kong, United Kingdom, Switzerland, Japan, Taiwan, Solomon Island, New Zealand and South Africa. 
 
 

A man may have been up the whole night and probably had a hard day at the office, will drive for miles, whether it is raining, flooding, to the starting point. He runs, walks and maybe even crawls between five to eight miles in the country full of mosquitoes, pacats, sharp lallang, thorns, snakes and awfully crawly insects. He jumps streams, wades in muddy waters, climbs steep hills and goes through barb-wire fences. He bears the stench of what ever he come in contact with and possibly chased by dogs. He completes the run half-dead and for all his efforts, gets some cold beers as a reward. 

During the run, he swears and curses at everybody and everything and get sworn and cursed back in return. He then calls the hare a sadistic bastard and proceeds to condemn him from the day he was born. He may get himself cut by barb wires, fall down holes and hills and maybe get himself lost. He wonders out aloud, "What the Hell am I doing here? I must be crazy!" then swears that he will never come again. Yet when he returns he will be heard to say "Good run" and "Great run", and he will start to praise the hare. 

After the run, he goes to wherever it is for a shower and change and then starts getting sloshed at the bar or 'DO' and yearning away, anything under the sun and moon. Then he joins the other crazy bastards in singing hash songs and cracking hash jokes and make a general nuisance of himself and possibly getting stoned before he even gets a bite to eat, ensuring a hangover the next morning. 

If he still able to, he joins the rest of the horrible rabble to some unsuspecting, respectable restaurant. He bangs and mess the table, start yelling for his food and harassing the waitresses and then complain of poor service. Makes a will grab for the food when it comes and wolfing it down shouts demands for more but grumble his balls off when he has to pay more. 

He hurries and never forgets the hash day, yet forgets anniversary and birthdays etc. Spends his time and money traveling hundreds of miles to run at the anniversary of other hash clubs and get a T-shirt and a hangover for his troubles. Travels back home swears he will never go hashing again yet knowing fully well he will be back the following Thursday to join the other cranky bastards for another grueling run and then swears he will not come again and still does. 

To those of you who are hashmen, there is no need for me to describe the beauty and happiness of being one. But to the newcomers and would-be hashmen, perhaps the following made up and borrowed may sum up the whole idea of hashing and may help to convince you the benefits of becoming one:- 
 

• You build up a self-confidence like nothing else will for you quickly and surely. 

• Build up stamina which you never thought exist. 

• You feel a man, not a mouse or cabbage, a man among men yet carefree as a boy. 

• You feel tired after the run, yet feel so light in the body and clear in the mind and relaxed and invigorated and free from the cares of the world. 

• You see so much of the country you live in like the hills and countrysides you never dreamt existed. 

• You enlarged your circles of friends, get to know people of all walks of life, from a padre to a clerk. 

• There is no racial discrimination, no talk of politics and everybody is equal. 

• Your feel free to talk, shout, sing and curse as you like with no one to criticize your actions of expect you to maintain whatever status you have in private life. 

• You may be a general, an admiral, a company director but in hash you are merely a hashman, free to curse and be cursed, to swear and be sworn at and to anything that you would never do outside of hash. 

• The real beauty of hashing is that you slowly build up to a perfect state of health that you climb hills, jump across streams, run for miles through jungle, rubber estates, swamps, padi fields and achieve feats that you never thought you are capable of. 

• Bullshitting aside, this is one fantastic way to avoid a heart attack which is one of the great killers of today. 

Lots more reasons can be added to this list but what has been said just about sums up the whole idea of hashing. Accept it as it is and you will have a great time and also may prove beneficial to you. If you cannot, then it would be best for all concerned if you keep clear. 

Happy hashing and keep hashing days free. Let your shouts of "ON! ON!" be loud and clear. 

Note: So much have been written about Hashing. The above article was written by a much respected Hashman, after having reached 95 runs, surely there must be some truth in his article. It is up to an individual to believe it or not. Hashing is not defined in any dictionary, so it is up to you to form other opinion.