TRAILBLAZER CLIMB

ANAK KURAU TO BUKIT LARUT

10TH  & 11TH MARCH 2001

Scribe: Sister Hyde aka May Cheah Joon Bee

 

0615 hours.  Many of the hashers had arrived on their own.  If only these bastards had shown such enthusiasm in going to work.  A chartered bus ferried the rest of us from the foothill of Bukit Larut (aka Maxwell Hill) to Batu Kurau.

 

We were about to start at 0630 hours when Dr. Screw turned up.  He was waving wildly and frantically!  We all wondered what had happened.  Imagine having two right shoes!  As the story goes, Dr. Screw had bought a new pair of shoes the night before for the hike.  He tried on one side and it fitted.  Paid for it and left the store.  This morning he got his son to drive him while he put on the shoes in the car.  That was when he discovered that he was sold a pair of 2 right-sided shoes.  Fuming mad, he headed to the sports-store in the wee hours of the morning and banged on the door in desperation.  Got no answer, got no shoes!  What to do?  He was still trying to sort out his predicament when he reached Batu Kurau.  Finally, he had to resort to wearing sandals.  Overconfidence cocked-up!

 

 

The whole gang reached Anak Kurau at 0730 hours.  After informing the police of our intentions, we quickly set out for the hillside.  The first thing we did upon arrival was to give peace offerings to the jungle ‘datuk kong’  and seek his permission for trespassing.

 

The Chinaman with their joss sticks and the Indiana Jones - candles and flowers.

 

Hashers do that?  Yep, cos’ we still want to conquer many more hills and enjoy many more hashing-bashing years.

 

The trek started flat for a comfortable distance with plenty of ‘Kamunting’ flowers and just as plenty of cow-dung on both sides of the path.  The weather was kind that morning. All along the way, the trail was clearly marked. 

 

see mom, no sweat!!

 

 

Thanks to the gang of six who had recce the area.  After a good brisk walk, we moved on to green gentle slopes that supported a variety of plants.  The overhanging trees formed a cooling canopy over us. The only wildlife encountered was a monitor lizard by our Harriet, La Nina.  They were in each other’s path and I don’t know what La Nina did, the reptile had to give way.  Hmm, must be her tattoo-ed eyebrows and mascara-ed lashes that got it scurrying off.

 

I was in the company of GM Kuda, Bapa Botak, Wild Boar King, Dolly Button, Blind Bat and Kuku Chiaw.  Kuku Chiaw was holding onto his Baygon spray possessively -hyper-allergic to bee stings.

 

Shortly after, there was a commotion ahead of us.  Wild Boar King rushed forward and was told that there was a bee attack.  Oh! Oh!  Blind Bat got molested on his boom-boom.  Kuku Chiaw by this time was holding onto his Baygon for dear life.  We had to persuade him to let us make good use of it.  X-rated Toh also got  ‘sexually harassed’.  Anyway, none seemed the worse for them so we continued our journey.  I was carrying the first aid in case it was needed.

 

Ah Wai Ko was by now way in front, frantically running up and down like a mad cow with his video camera.  Not sure who to focus on, I suppose.  Everyone wanted to be a movie star. 

 

Somewhere ahead (these bastards just cannot stay close together), Pop & Go (only one person) fell into a chest-deep hole!  When he climbed out, his shirt was torn exactly around his right nipple and nowhere else!   Bull’s-eye. 

 

Bukit Tan, aroused by the indecent exposure, almost wanted to attack our friend.  Luckily, Elvis Gout came to the rescue. Dirty Raja, out of the blue was told that he had to compensate Pop & Go with a new T-shirt because before he fell into the gap, Dirty Raja was just in front of him and did not warn him!   Yep, that’s hash justice for you.

 

There were several stops for breaks.  At one spot, we stopped at a crystal clear stream to fill up our water bottles.

 

Elvis Gout, with his business acumen intact, wanted to sell oral re-hydration salts, but tough luck, no one desperados took up his offer.  Some were to regret their choice later.

 

 

Though the trek was gradual, it was dead long and most of us were exhausted halfway through.  We were now walking along the mountain ridges.  Once again we had to rely on the skills of Wild Boar King.  He chopped ‘pinang’ trees to make ‘tongkat’ (walking stick) for us.  ‘Pinang’, we were told, is light and hardy and thus makes good walking sticks.  I found it to be handy especially when going down slopes.  It helped me from falling forward.

 

look at the huge tree trunk behind us!!

 

At one point, we were rewarded with a lovely view of Kamunting town.  The bright orange building of Yawata Supermarket sprawled below.

 

Remember Dr. Screw?   Even the ‘tongkat’ couldn’t hold him up for long.  His unsuitable footwear had taken its toll on him.  At one point, he couldn’t move due to the muscle pull in his right leg.   Yours truly came to his rescue.  Applied  LMS > gentle massage > crepe bandage > rest.  That got him moving again.  With nothing better to do, the boisterous group teased him, saying that it was my magic touch that did the trick.  I was like – huh!  Magic touch? Trick?  Right leg?  Third leg, can understand-lah.  Well…. you win some, you lose some.

 

Bapa Botak too had difficulty in walking. No thanks to our ever- cautious Jim Senapang who had advised us to wear longs.  Now our veteran hash-man felt that it was a great mistake because he was feeling the agonizing heat in between his groins.  One smart-ass told Bapa Botak that it would do him a hell of good if he had discarded the long pants and walk just with his underwear on!.  For the first time in his 20 odd years of hashing, he dropped his pants and had a marvelous recuperation because it got him ‘upstanding’.  Who says you cannot teach an old dog new tricks.

 

As we trekked further in, we reached a once upon a time illegal tin-mining land in the early 70’s when there were communists in existence.  We actually found black rocks with hints of tin ore on them.  Those who wanted to collect these rocks were forewarned that to avoid anything untoward happening to them, they should throw some coins back to the spot to symbolize that they bought the rocks from the unseen inhabitants of the jungle.  What crap, you may think!  Do people still believe such superstitions in this millennium?  Let me tell you one secret – our tough guys do!  Me?  I always subscribe to the belief: prevention is better than cure and give people the benefit of the doubt (I’m not saying anything).

 

I was near finishing when the trail in front suddenly became a ‘killer hill’.  This was the only big obstacle we faced.   With the sudden steep gradient I found myself balancing against the wall like a ‘spider woman’.  Somehow I got separated from the group and had to struggle up alone.  This is some action akin to scaling Mt. Everest.  Have you watched ‘Vertical Limit’?  Aha, something of that sort.  What a climax!  My groins and what lies beneath, ached for the next 2 weeks.  Aaahhhhhhh!

 

A few hundred meters more and I stumbled out safely.  The first ritual I did was to check for leeches.  Luckily, none made its presence felt.  I am actually a self-appointed ‘leech screamer’ in Kamunting 4H.  I have been told that I had to get used to them.  I am already 4 years into hashing and yet to be.  How not to scream when I was made to know that this  creature has got 34 internal body segments, 10 eyes and 3 horny jaws.  Not forgetting the muscular suction disk at each end of the body. Yuck!!!

 

Finally, we reached the Box bungalow.  The panoramic view from the hilltop was spectacular and I could see Taiping, the picturesque colonial hometown of mine down below.  The mist was slowly crawling in.  Wow, postcard perfect!

 

The first group took 5 hours to finish the trail.  I wondered if they ever stopped to admire the surroundings.  It is not the destination that matters, you know. It’s the journey, you silly geese.

 

It took me 7 hours to finish the trek.  The last group came out in 7 and a half.  All in, there were 25 of us.             

 

exhausted and catching our breaths!!

The Nest and its inhabitants.

 

We stayed the night at Nest bungalow.   Where the weather is cool, the excitement is hot!

 

In Conclusion

A lot of planning, organizing and donkey’s work has been put in just so that a bunch batangs and lubangs could enjoy nature in its glory. We-are-coming-round–the- mountain-when-we-come!   We-are-coming-round-the-mountain-when-we-come!

 

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.  So to Grandmaster Kuda Tan and his excellent team for a job well executed, I say, “On! On!”

 

Verdict:  ‘Fanny’-tastically worthwhile climb!

 

 

The Talk of Town

Several days and even weeks later, some fitness buffs, nature lovers and even hashers from other chapters heard of our adventure and were keen for our guys to bring them to hike the trail.  Of course, we did.  So Sex King, our great philosopher, concluded that we should be destined for greater honor.  He went on to expound that the trail should be turned into an eco-tourism activity and we should make a deal with the state government.   Since Kamunting HHHH was the one to blaze the new trail, we should be given the exclusive rights to man the route and derive some revenue from it by opening the trail to the public.  Maybe with some day package thrown in.  Maybe we can keep on daydreaming.  Typical opportunist:  Taking every thing and every where to make money, money and more money.

 

How it all started ……….. once upon a time

The idea to conquer the mountain range from Anak Kurau to Bukit Larut was born 3 years ago. In fact, an early attempt had actually been made in April 1998.  25 members did the trek with 5 kampung guides but it was inevitably aborted after being lost in the jungle for 12 hours.  All of us came out at nightfall, disheveled, hungry and near exhaustion, cursing and swearing at everybody and everything.  Unappreciated freebies were leech bites, bruised groins, blistered feet, breaking backs and broken shoes.

 

It remained a hot topic till today – each eagerly trying to outdo the other by telling their piece of how much they had suffered. What a heroic disaster!

 

After a lapse of 3 years, the idea to hit the trail was resurfaced by some die-hard bastards during a booze session and another attempt was seriously considered.  For all the complaints, these hard-core are at it again.  The idiom – ‘once bitten, twice shy’ is some idea a hasher finds difficult to comprehend.  They are mad and cranky, that’s why.  This time with better organization from this most disorganized club.  Nobody wanted history to repeat itself.

 

 

The Recce

(interview with  ex-GM Kuda Tan

and OnCash Bukit Tan)

24th February 2001 – A recce party of 6 of our macho guys (GM Kuda Tan, Jim Senapang, Wildboar King, Ole Ole, BP Sim and Bukit Tan) with the assistance of an experienced guide (old bird) left for Batu Kurau (about 25km. from Taiping).  Reported at the Batu Kurau Police Station (just to play safe) before they proceeded to the foothill of Anak Kurau.  They were ready to blaze the hill with their weapons and wares – parang, sticks, Swiss knives, compasses, maps, torch-lights, tents, ropes, insect repellents, instant noodles, billycans and what have you.

 

It was a dreadfully slow and tedious job clearing the path.  One of the highlights of the trip was when some of the guys ran out of water.  The guide, Alias, chopped some long branches off the vine trees and holding the branches like a blowpipe, they quenched their thirst with the clear fluids that flowed out of the hollow of the branches.  It was a new discovery and an excellent survival skill to have acquired.

 

They camped the night in the jungle beside a water-point 200 meters down the valley.  The water-point located was actually just a spot of wet sands about 2 feet in circumference with only an inch high of water.  That’s it?  Bukit Tan found it hard to believe.  To take his bath, he had to remove the sands with his bare hands to create depth.  Then he had to wait for the water to ooze out of a fault and wait again for the water particles to settle before he could finally clean himself.  Then another wait to scoop water for cooking.  After this experience, bathing at home for him has never been the same.  Each bath a luxury!  Everyone should undergo this water deprivation experience to appreciate water conservation.

 

The maggi mee for dinner was another conversation piece. With no chopsticks to eat with, the resourceful Wild Boar King, sliced thin sticks out of a wild Tongkat Ali plant.  They ended up with an aphrodisiac meal!

 

At nightfall, they had to sleep on canvas beds tied to the trees like a hammock.  GM Kuda earlier thought they had to sleep on the hard ground with leeches and ants for company.  What a relief!

 

Bed or none, they settled in for a good night sleep.  Before long into the night, they heard strange noises and Wild Boar King, who is also a ‘kijang’ hunter orientated them to the mating calls of the animal kingdom.  The sensual noise coupled with the Tongkat Ali’s dish had its excruciating effect on the guys.  Nobody slept much that night because each was afraid that their asses…. getting you know what!!  Never can tell with such firecracker combination!

 

Early the next morning they continued hacking and slashing the thicket.  By noon the trail was almost set.  As the group was hacking their way through, they could hear the continuous drone of a jeep nearby.  Civilization is near.  Wild Boar King dashed towards the direction of the much welcomed sound.  He jumped out of the woods onto the road and waved frantically at a Telekom jeep passing by.  He must have managed to get their attention because the driver and his companion did stopped a short distance ahead.  But as our friend ran towards them, they sped off.  Who wouldn’t!!  A man appearing out of nowhere, with leaves and twigs all over his bare chest and holding a long parang in his hand running towards you.  Better scoot never knowing what this guy running amok is up to!!!!  We had a good laugh when the episode was recounted.

 

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