Azusa-chan
mimzy@ix.netcom.com
http://oocities.com/Tokyo/Island/8158/
A Ranma 1/2 fanfiction
Ranma 1/2 is the property of the wonderful Rumiko Takahashi. All rights reserved.
There will be cameo's by other characters from other shows, which also aren't of my own creation. Whatta bummer.
Please! Don't take this fic seriously! This is not my best writing for one (honestly!!) and I don't mean to be making people sick or angry by reading this, though a few probably will be.
*****Oh My God! They Killed...Everyone.*****
The day started out just perfect. The sun was shining in the sky, Ranma hadn't been acosted by some love-sick girl, and no one had tried to kill him to gain the love of some love sick girl. Ranma and Akane were walking to school, just happily minding their own business. Ranma was thinking about saying something, maybe asking her to eat lunch with him, when the 'their own business' that they were minding suddenly got a little more...interesting.
Happousai had been gone for a few weeks, much to the relief of everyone in the Tendou household. He had apparently been out doing some training, because he was a lot faster now. He managed to douse Ranma with water and almost got his/her shirt off before a busy Ranma hit him.
Ranma wouldn't have minded the direction that day took as much if Akane hadn't been embarrassed right along with him. It all started with a picture...
You see, Ranma and Akane had been getting along better lately. He finally got up the courage to kiss her, and she didn't even hit him! Happousai took a picture of the happy little intimate moment. And made copies. Huge copies, small copies, just tons and tons of copies. And he came to school and threw them around, copies for everyone.
Needless to say, though of course it will be said anyway, the lovers in question were turning unhealthy shades of red in the meantime. They attacked Happousai, the arrogant jerk, as he was flashing the negative around.
The lost boy wandered by, shouting, "Where is Furinkan High School?!" Then a picture floated to the ground in front of him. He took one look at it, and screamed. He turned to fight Ranma, hearing his voice, but got lost. Somewhere in the direction of downtown Tokyo, some witnesses say.
The other students were cheering. Whether they were whooping over the pics or just encouraging Ranma and Akane, it didn't matter. They were to angry to really notice, anyway.
Due to Happousai's training, he was better. Since Akane and Ranma were working together for once, due to a miricle and a subtle twist of fate, they were slowly gaining an advantage. Then, of course, some...distractions decided to drop in and rudely interrupt the fight to state their opinions.
"Saotome you cretin! How dare you soil Akane-kun's honour!!" Kunou shouted while recklessly swinging his sword around. He was so mad, he didn't notice when his sword strikes started lopping off limbs of our classmates.
Someone in the background shouted, "Oh my god, he killed Kenny! That..." The speaker, a young elementary school aged boy with a blue hat, had just uttered his last words. His head landed near his dear friend, Kenny, rolling to a stop. It bumped into a rat that was making a snack of Kenny's eyeball, which had fallen out. The rat squeaked angrily, than began eating the other boy's eye.
Ranma hit Kunou in the stomach, trying to keep him out of the way and out of action. He didn't want to have to deal with him right now, but he didn't want to have to kill him, either.
Of course, Akane, being the lovable clutz she is, tripped over Kunou and landed on him. Happousai tried to take advantage of the opportunity, and threw a ki blast. Ranma pulled Akane out of the way in time, but Kunou was a mess best left undescribed. Though someone forgot to meantion this to the author, because it's getting described anyway. The stench of burnt flesh filled the air. Most of the people in the courtyard fell to their knees, gagging. Half of Kunou's stomach was crispy-crittered. Charred, and indistinguishable, internal organ's seeped out.
Mousse came by for a visit next, having heard about the whole mess over the phone. "Ranma! How dare you shame Shanpuu like this!" he shouted to a nearby tree. Akane jumped to dodge an attack and landed on Mousse's head. Mousse fell over.
Mousse, glasses broken, tried to throw an attack at what he thought was whatever had landed on his head, but what turned out to be Happousai.
Happousai deflected the attack easily and Mousse inadvertently committed seppuku, with Happousai as his second. Happousai then ki-blasted the poor, visually challenged Chinese boy. Splat. Ooh. The tree would be feeling that in the morning. One of Mousse's long, sharp weapons was embedded in hs stomach, and thus the tree behind him. His neck sagged at an odd angle. A drop of blood dripped onto his forgotten glasses, on the ground at his feet.
Shanpuu came into the school yard, her shoes stained red as she splashed through blood soaked grass. She stopped to survey the mess. There were corpses littered everywhere. Ranma had been to busy trying to salvage his own life to salvage those of his classmates.
She ran up to Ranma, mindless of the old hentai fighting him. "Wode airen!" she shouted, pouncing on him with a mighty squeeze. }Note: Yes, I know he was a her earlier, but he's been splattered with blood, and blood is hot water, right?{
"Get off!" Ranma yelled, shoving Shanpuu away. Akane, in a typical fit of jealousy, pulls out a new improved mallet: with a sharp point.
Shanpuu had been flung in her direction, so it was easy to hit the girl. Well, even if Shanpuu was a vampire, she was dead. It would have been harsh even for a vampire. She was just bits of twitching flesh and ooey gooey ickiness. Unidentifiable internal organs landed with wet splats.
Cologne jumped and landed on the fence, and upon seeing the sight that greeted her in the courtyard, her age caught up with her. She had a heart attack and dropped her staff. It somehow landed standing point up, due to some weird rule of anime physics, and when she fell her staff gouged her left eye out, embedding itself into her brain. The staff remained erect, with the ancient woman just...well, kinda hanging around.
"OHOHOHOHOHO!!" cackled a clinically insane woman wearing a leotard, holding a gymnastics ribbon. "Ranma-sama!" Akane got a hit in on Happousai, using the lovely new pointed mallet. He only got a little scratch, because he dodged, but it was deep enough to spurt blood. In Kodachi's direction.
"AAAAAHHHHHH! There's BLOOD on my leotard and in my hair!" She passed out from shock and drowned in a pool of someone else's blood.
Ranma, Akane, and Happousai got bored with fighting and went home. Nabiki had stayed home sick that day. Kasumi asked, "How was your day at school?" as the fight had lasted all day.
"It was pretty much just a normal day," they said.
***
The next day, of course...Kenny was alive again! ... So was everyone else, unfortunatly.
*the end*
Authors notes:
Tee-hee. A friend of mine meantioned that I forgot to kill Kodachi before, so I took care of her this time. =)
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