Ukyou growled in frustration. She'd expanded her treasury six
times, each time adding a good quarter to the size of the treasury.
She was STILL out of room for money. And she couldn't expand much with
all the solid rock in the way.
Even with all of her extravagant spending on the various rooms
and holding as much as she could in her Dungeon Heart's magical hand,
she still needed room.
She'd gone back and made a door for every room.
Still not enough.
She'd hired a number of mercenaries.
Not quite enough.
She'd trained the mercenaries.
Almost enough.
She'd recommissioned Lord Darius' planned marble statue, but
changed the order into a statue of herself.
She FINALLY had enough room in her treasury. Barely.
"Gah... this guy DID waste money by the tons!" Ukyou declared.
"At least we will be well off for a while." Lundar noted.
"Yeah. And with this keep and the surrounding villages under my
command, we can start building an army above ground as well as below
ground. A well planned two-pronged attack can crush almost any foe."
Ukyou responded.
Ukyou looked up at the sky and wondered if Ranma would still be
there when she got back.
Kevin, knight of the realm, was sorely disappointed at the sight
of Lord Constantine, who, by the looks of it, was already quite tanked
and it was hardly noon. He'd been forced to stay the night as everyone
had told him that Lord Constantine didn't get up once he retired for
the evening and Kevin saw, very clearly, why that was so.
"Yea shay theresh a keepy looky 'bout?" Lord Constantine
inquired, blinking a number of times before letting out a low belch,
the stench of which hit Kevin full in the fact, despite the fact that
Kevin was standing a good ten feet away. The distance was a bit more
than what was expected, but he did not wish to get any closer or he'd
likely faint.
"Yes." Kevin answered, trying to contain his disgust and
revulsion.
Lord Darius may have been a pompous twit who'd worry more about
how he looked rather than how well defended his land was, but at least
he wasn't an obvious embarrassment to the title granted to him by King
Reginald.
Of course, he was probably better off than Ian, who was going to
meet Lord Avaricious again. If it weren't known that there was plenty
of gold in his realm, Lord Avaricious' habit of handing out IOUs would
likely be less tolerated than it was.
A quick glance at Lord Constantine's aides showed either dull
grimaces of embarrassment or bored disgust. No doubt, each had been
putting up with Lord Constantine's alcohol problems for a while.
"DAT'SH NO PROBREM! I'sh gotsh me desesh wizardsh, shee, and dey
madesh me shome of desesh Fear Trapsh. Dey keepsh ANYone who'din
triesh to and getsh in here running AAAAAAAaaaaallllll de way home."
Lord Constantine slurred out, before letting loose with a teeth-
rattling belch.
Kevin was very tempted to yell at Lord Constantine as the lord
began whining to the maid next to him for more wine. But, it was
neither his place, nor was his input likely to get the lord to stop
drinking anytime soon.
"Lord Constantine, I'd suggest that you at least pay attention to
the land around your keep, because though few keepers are in this area,
there will be some who can bypass your fear traps." Kevin warned.
Kevin turned and headed for his room. He would have to stay to
aid the defense as Lord Constantine had proven himself incompetent.
Lord Constantine turned to a shield on the wall, "Hey, Shara...
why'sh don't you go maaaahhhh-" Lord Constantine stopped to let out
another vile belch that likely would have proceeded vomit had he not
gulped it back down, "make shure heee getsh to hish bedroom okey-
dokey."
The woman he'd been trying to address, Sara, answered from the
other side of Lord Constantine's chair, "I'd be glad to."
Lord Constantine jerked violently away from her, falling flat on
his face. He raised a hand in the air with one first extended
(presumably he meant to extend his index finger, but no one knew for
sure), and declared loudly in a muffled voice, "BMON'T MVOVE BIKE HAT!"
A few seconds later, he began snoring loudly, drooling on the
carpet. Sara stepped over his body, pausing to glance at the other
servants questioningly, then kicked Constantine hard in the ass. She
was awarded with quiet applause from everyone still conscious.
She bowed, swept a stray lock of short silver hair back behind
her right ear and turned. She kicked backwards, hitting Constantine in
the rump again, then exited the room as the guards in the room seized
Lord Constantine and carried the unconscious lord back to his bedroom,
where he would remain until the next morning.
"Sir Kevin." Sara called out.
Kevin turned to see the dark-skinned woman who'd been standing
next to Lord Constantine. Her hair was short and silver, with a most
of it being swept forward. She wore a rather elegant black silk
cheongsam with shoulderless sleeves, thigh-high stockings and polished
black boots.
He had noticed her, but his instant disgust with Constantine had
kept his eyes from truly viewing her. She was quite beautiful,
especially with her soft supple figure and elven ears. Kevin bit his
tongue before his elven fetish could manifest further and decided to
respond, "Yes?"
"Lord Constantine ordered me to see you to your chambers...
shortly before he 'retired' to his own room. My name is Sara, I work
as the captain of the guard for Keep Fear and as it's secondary Lord
when Lord Constantine has... 'retired' as he frequently does." Sara
explained.
"Nice to meet you, even if meeting your... Lord... was barely
worth the trouble." Kevin responded.
"I know he has become a pig of a man." Sara began.
There was silence as she and Kevin started towards his room.
"You know, most people follow that sentence up with a view of the
subject's good qualities or a redeeming anecdote." Kevin stated.
"I know. Lord Constantine has none. He was a cowardly and
gutless man who broke down and cried the instant any difficult
situation or even light tension was within the vicinity of his notice.
By comparison, what you've seen is moderately better as we no longer
have to put up with his crying or indecision." Sara responded.
"I don't mean to pry, but your complexion and ears indicate that
you are a dark elf, but your frame is much more muscular." Kevin noted.
"I'm a half-dark elf. From my dark elven mother, I received an
extended lifespan, increased hearing, nightvision, dexterity and my
complexion. But from my human father, I got my endurance, strength and
metabolism." Sara explained.
"I wish I got anything from my mother." Kevin replied.
"You're a half-elf as well?" Sara inquired.
"Yes. My mother was a sylvan elf, but save for slightly better
than most vision in the dark and some better than average hearing, I
got everything from my father. You'd hardly know to look at me that I
have any elven blood in me." Kevin answered.
"Well, considering the treatment I get by general society, I
would've given anything to be more like my father." Sara stated.
"Hey now, that's no way to go about life. Who cares what society
thinks? Anyone who can't appreciate beauty such as yours should just
jump in a lava stream." Kevin responded.
Sara blushed.
Ian was not having fun. By comparison, putting up with Lord
Constantine would have been like prancing with nymphs by a waterfall.
Lord Avaricious was a putz. Whereas Lord Constantine was a drunken
spineless twit, Lord Avaricious was a pandering bootlicking maggot.
Ian could barely restrain himself from trying to squish the Lord
beneath his boot.
Why were all of the lords furtherest away from the King always
such scum?
Had his minions not been assigned their armor and weaponry by the
king (and thus it could not be sold without causing great disgrace to
the one responsible), Ian was sure that they would've been naked and
unarmed by now.
"A Keeper?!" Lord Avaricious inquired, suddenly energized at
Ian's message.
"Indeed. Whomever it was killed Lord Antonious and I've heard
that Lord Darius' land has been taken as well." Ian responded.
Lord Avaricious stroke his chin thoughtfully, "Wasn't there a
reward for destroying Keepers, placed by the King himself a while
back?"
"Yes. Quite a hefty sum at that." Ian answered.
Ian politely decided not to tell Lord Avaricious that it had been
placed on Nemesis and his most loyal keepers, but knowing Lord
Avaricious, he would likely spin-doctor it enough to claim the reward.
His remaining warriors all looked almost feral at the mention of
reward. Ian could swear he heard the nearest knight mutter, "at last,
no more washing dishes before and after eating at a resturaunt!"
"Perhaps you would like to stay and aid us in our battle. We
could split the reward with you and perhaps even a bit extra when we
can effectively mine the gold that fills these caverns. Besides, did
you not say that your fellow knights were already warning the other
Lords?" Lord Avaricious offered.
Ian considered his options. It would be quite rude to flat out
refuse, but Ian was having trouble thinking up a decent excuse to
decline with. He cursed at himself for his honesty earlier in the
conversation. However, the weary men in Avaricious' kee-er, basement
would need all the morale they could muster if they were to face a
keeper. Then, he remembered something and came to a brilliant
solution.
"I will stay for a few days, but I am afraid that I cannot stay
for too long. After all, I am to report to Lord Bramble as a permanent
member of his guard. Should this Keeper not show in that time, I am
afraid I will have to leave regardless of my desire to see that
reward." Ian explained.
"Very well then. Let us hope this keeper shows it's self soon."
Lord Avaricious answered.
[Yes, before I grow too disgusted with you and try to crush you
beneath my boot.] Ian thought.
When someone (or something) is declared an elite by their society
(or if they simply show themselves superior to the average in every
way), that person (or thing) does not remain alone. Quite often, there
are a number of others whom quickly follow and are also declared elite.
These elites, either by choice or by societal pressure, each formed a
group that met regularly.
Because they could not go to these meetings, the commoners could
only speculate what happened during these timely meetings. Most
believed that the elites went to share fighting techniques or learn
about new ways of killing things.
In truth, that sort of thing did happen every four to seven
meetings or so, but the rest of the time, it was mostly about bragging
and story swapping. Only the goodly wizards and monks bothered with
the official business more regularly and even then, it was not long
before they too began story swapping.
Indeed, the elites of combatative societies may look dignified,
calm, collected or otherwise quiet when on the job, but once they came
to the meetings (each group had their own timetable as to how often and
where), they pretty much did their level best to make themselves look
awesome amongst peers or rag on those that irritated them.
And no exception were the Mistress elites.
"...and then he was all like, 'Hey, baby, I pay your fees! Let's
see some more of that ass!'. So, I just left. I swear, Gornigan is
one of the most disgusting keepers I've ever met." Morrigan declared.
"Oh, that's nothing. You should've seen the creepy looks I was
getting from Kronos. Gornigan at least doesn't drool openly." Tesse
replied.
"Hey, Dominique, you've been pretty quiet. No new intrigues?"
Karin asked.
"Actually, there's one I'm hunting right now. He's a knight, but
he's very unusual. I was relaxing in a bar and there were some goblins
nearby, but he refused to start a fight. In fact, he bought us all
drinks and then went to bed." Dominique responded.
"Hmm, he might have been tired." Morrigan declared.
"Yes, I thought so too. So, I tailed him. He knew I was tailing
him, but when I threatened him, he refused to start a fight, even after
I put my claws to his throat." Dominique commented.
"Very peculiar. Might make for an interesting pet indeed."
Morrigan agreed.
"So, is he handsome?" Karin asked.
"I've seen better, but he's not repulsive." Dominique answered.
"Then we'll be looking forward to seeing him." Morrigan declared.
Benjamin looked up at the enormous tower, surrounded by a heavy
fortifications and wondered what in the world Lord Ironhelm had been
thinking making the tower tall instead of wide. After all, the land of
Sweetwater was mostly expansive grassy plains with two rivers and a few
hills, so it wasn't like there wasn't room to expand.
Still, he had a message to deliver, not a commentary.
However, no one had called down to him in quite a while and he'd
been waiting for over twenty minutes. Finally, annoyed, he called out,
"HELLO! I HAVE AN URGENT MESSAGE FOR LORD IRONHELM!"
Save for the gate suddenly opening, there was no response.
Frowning, Benjamin walked through the gateway. He glanced around, but
found nary a soul. The gate closed abruptly the instant he and his
horse were two feet inside.
He walked his horse over to a nearby hitch. After quietly
hitching his horse, he turned and headed for the tower's main door.
Again, he waited, even after knocking rather loudly, but no one
answereed the door.
"Will someone please open the door? I need to speak with Lord
Ironhelm!" Benjamin called out.
Like the gate, the door opened on it's own with nary a person in
sight. Benjamin wondered what sorcery could have accomplished such a
feat.
Sighing angrily, he began up the stairs, hoping that he'd find
someone allied with Lord Ironhelm that was still alive and dreading
that he might find an ambush.
David was, like the others, not enjoying his time with Lord
Ludwig.
However, unlike the other lords, upon hearing that a keeper was
in the area, Lord Ludwig promptly smashed the only bridge into or out
of his keep, meaning that David was now stuck with a cowardly moron who
hadn't yet realized that they could no longer get any more food or
drinkable water.
The truth was, David was actually impressed that Lord Ludwig
hadn't already curled up into a ball, sucking on his thumb and
whimpering to be cradled. The man was more spineless than Lord Darius
was wasteful. And considering the wastefulness of Lord Darius, that
was quite an insult.
To whittle the time away, the guards had decided to play 'Craps'.
The reason the game was called so was because of what most people
yelled while playing, but also because it was a rather crappy game.
One played Craps for three reasons: 1) They'd rigged the game, 2)
They were ignorant enough to think they could win, or 3) They were paid
to make the people in the second category feel better about losing
their money on a rigged game. After all, everyone hated to be a loser,
but a loser often felt better when there were other losers.
David was not playing Craps. He was playing Solitaire. He'd
been wasting a lot of time, because he wasn't cheating. Indeed,
cheating would have finished the game quickly and it was less boring
than watching two or three guards con their 'buddies' out of their pay.
He didn't feel like breaking up the game by revealing that it was
rigged because, though that would be very fun for a while, but then the
other guards would whine and complain about having nothing to do
because stupid Lord Ludwig had destroyed the bridge, then Ludwig would
hear and take offense, and cut everyone's pay, causing everyone to
become even more depressed.
Finally, someone would blame David for breaking up the Craps game
(as that lead to Ludwig cutting their pay), and he'd be eating the
moldier bread, having rats dropped in his soup intentionally by someone
other than the chef, and he'd likely have to put up with a large number
of childish pranks.
No, solitaire without cheating was definitely less boring than
that.
But it certainly wasn't very good.
David sighed and lamented that no one had invented something
small and flashy that could eat up time better than stupid card games.
Ben flung open the next door and looked around. Ordinarily, he
would have cautiously opened the door and backed away, doing his level
best to catch sight of someone or something before they could ambush
him.
That was roughly a hundred and thirty six doors ago. Now, he was
simply looking for something that was living, dead, decomposing or
otherwise that would indicate that something had been in the keep after
it's construction. Every room was completely bare. Were there not
doors, Ben would have expected the tower to have been under
construction still.
The other things that indicated that lifeforms were still in the
tower were the torches lining every wall, but Ben was beginning to
think those were magical in nature.
Still nothing.
Ben growled in frustration, walking to the next door and kicking
it open. And the next and the next and the one after both of those.
The exact same results.
"WHERE IN THE NINETEEN HELLS AND THE GRAND HELL IS LORD
IRONHELM?!" Ben roared angrily.
"Top floor. First door." came a genderless voice from nowhere.
Ben did a slow turn and glared in the direction that he'd heard
the voice come from.
"I hate you." Ben told the voice.
He began walking up the stairs, heading for the top floor.
Ukyou gazed at the next two lords she planned to attack: Lord
Avaricious and Lord Constantine. She'd box in Lord Ludwig and finish
him off before continuing. Their defenses weren't much better than
Darius'. The only problem in taking them out lay in the fact that Lord
Constantine had fear traps, that only skeletons and vampires could
ignore.
Ukyou had a graveyard, but she was unwilling to deliberately kill
people and leave them to rot. The same went for her prison. Even as
much as she had said that she'd get revenge on Ranma and Genma, revenge
had never constituted killing. She might have declared it a few times,
but like many people, beating people up was about all she ever really
wanted.
So, she would just have to break them from afar. Her warlocks
were definitely capable of it, as were her new Dark Elves and
Mistresses. Her new mercenary wizards, fairies and sylvan elves could
also be added to the list.
It would not be easy taking on both Lords so quickly, but she
needed to speed up her return. She couldn't cut corners with the
training of her minions, though, as that could prove dangerous in the
campaign.
There was no question that taking on both lords was going to be
pretty draining, meaning that she would likely have to slow down her
pace.
But it had to be done if she was to get home within a decade.
Or at least, that's what she'd thought. So far, she'd crushed
Avaricious without really trying. Most of his men had been weak from
eating only one meal a day. There had been a single knight who HADN'T
been starved, but he was overwhelmed by the combination of dark elven
quarrels, fireballs and a few thrown imps (she would've scolded her
Bile Demons for doing that if it hadn't been so effective and the imps
were no worse for wear either way). Once he was beaten, she merely had
to concentrate on Keep Fear.
Lord Constantine's forces were MUCH better organized, but not
much better off as they had to trudge through waist-deep water to get
to Ukyou's forces, who pelted them with attacks (and the occassional
imp). Ukyou's only real obstacle were the fear traps.
Luckily, the land had provided. It seemed that there were a few
skeletons in a prison that was already around Keep Fear. Once trained
up, they'd provided an effective force for destroying the ten rows of
fear traps.
Once inside the Keep's basement, she herself in the lead, they
met ten knights, a dark elf and Lord Constantine, who quivered with
fear, as if he himself were trying to attack a fear trap and failing.
"Wh-wh-what do you want?" Lord Constantine whimpered.
Behind him, Ukyou could see all of the knights and the dark elf
react with disgust, covering their faces with a hand.
"The Portal Gem. Hand it over and we'll let you live." Ukyou
responded.
"DEAL!" Lord Constantine declared, before receiving a solid thump
in the ass from the dark elf, "YIPE! I mean, maybe-" *THUMP* "OW! I
mean, not now-" *THUMP* "AIE! ... perhaps this evening-" *THUMP*
"ACK!" He turned to hiss at the dark elf, "stop doing that!"
"NO!" She replied.
"I mean 'no'." Lord Constantine managed to state, looking
somewhat pleased, like a child who'd just been coached through a
reading book and could understand it. Perhaps it was because the dark
elf hadn't kicked in him in the rump again.
"Then you'll have to die." Ukyou decided aloud.
The goblins and skeletons began gnashing their teeth and
murmurring, as if they were preparing for a real treat. The dark elves
took aim with their crossbows while the warlocks began muttering
incantations.
"I GIVE UP!" Lord Constantine yelled, throwing his sword to the
ground and kneeling.
Again, the knights and the dark elf on Lord Constantine's side
covered their faces, this time adding in loud groans of disgust.
"FINE! We surrender as well, on the condition that no one in the
Keep is slain..." the dark elf declared.
Most of the knights murmurred in angry, yet hushed tones. Lord
Constantine sighed in relief.
"...save Lord Constantine." the dark elf added.
The knight murmurred again, this time their murmurs were
approving and they were nodding vigorously.
Lord Constantine's face turned white as a sheet. Ukyou
considered the offer, looking the dark elf in the eye, trying to see
any sign of falsehood and saw none.
"Fine, kill the Lord, no one else." Ukyou agreed.
The knights drew their blades and charged, but not at Ukyou's
forces, but rather their own lord. They started by kicking the Lord a
few times each, then began raining blows down on him with their swords.
Ukyou and her forces could only gape in shock and utter dismay.
Sad as it was to say, Lord Ludwig's forces had provided little
resistance as well. By the time she had attacked the main keep, the
entire force was so ill from the crappy chef's food or weak from hunger
that they weren't in a position to really defend themselves, save Lord
Ludwig, who'd stashed away a large amount of jerky and had subsisted on
that.
Those who weren't barfing up their guts into the moat were busy
bum-rushing the Lord in vengence.
Lord Ludwig met the same grisly demise as Lord Constantine, only
there was more bludgeoning in Ludwig's case as his men were too weak to
lift much more than a dagger.
Benjamin entered the room and looked about. It looked like a
darkened study, the bookshelfs and their books just barely visible from
a combination of the hallway torchlight and the fireplace light.
Between him and the fireplace was a single chair. Benjamin arched an
eyebrow as he approached the chair hesitantly.
For some reason, he became self-conscious of the amount of noise
his boots were making against the floor. Despite the light crackles
and snap from the fireplace, his boots seemed to echo with a
maddeningly loud effect.
Finally, he arrived at the chair's side and he looked down to see
an old man wearing a bathrobe sitting in the chair. He blinked.
"Is this Lord Ironhelm?" Benjamin asked aloud as he looked at the
man who had to be well into his December years, not the twenty-
something Lord Ironhelm who had commisioned and built the tower. He
was bald on top with long hair circling the crown of his head and his
bathrobe was a fade marroon with a gold ropetie. His white beard alone
was near his ankles.
"Mmmm? Someone ask for me?" the old man inquired, opening his
eyes and looking up at Benjamin, "Ah, King Reginald has sent a
replacement, has he?"
"Are you Lord Ironhelm?" Benjamin asked.
"That they did. Mmmm, but that was a long time ago. Mmmm, oh,
wait, that's right, you weren't here...." Lord Ironhelm responded,
before letting out a rasping breath that almost sounded like it would
be his last, "that's why you wouldn't know."
"Know?" Benjamin requested of the aging lord.
Lord Ironhelm smacked his lips, blanching a bit at the foul taste
in his mouth, "We uncovered an ancient ruin near here, one made by the
elves long ago. Terrible thing, it was."
"What was it?" Benjamin prompted gently.
"Mmm... what was the darn thing... oh, yes. It was an age
advancement thingy. Meant for war time, to get their children ready
for combat. It creates a field that accelerates time." Lord Ironhelm
explained, "One of my wizards was messing around with the fool thing
and next thing we all know, *poof*, we're inside this accelerated
dimension. We musta been in there for a good forty to sixty years.
Woulda been nothing to an elf, but it's mosta life fer a human. I was
the only one who survived it all."
"Lord Ironhelm, are there any defenses for this keep still
remaining?" Benjamin asked.
"O'course... just ask the magic voice. It'll arm'em." Lord
Ironhelm responded, "Now... if you don't... mind... I think... I would
like to rest..."
With that, Lord Ironhelm closed his eyes one final time.
Benjamin looked around. To have lived alone for so long... no wonder
most of the items were gone. They probably would have been destroyed
or put away so as not to remind them of their folly.
"Magic voice?" Benjamin queried.
"Yes?" the voice inquired back.
"There's going to be a Keeper attacking this keep soon. Do you
know what they are?" Benjamin asked.
The voice answered unhesitatingly, "Yes I do. I have all the
knowledge of the mage who created me to assist Lord Ironhelm."
"Good, I need you to prepare all of the defenses while I bury
Lord Ironhelm. Once I exit the keep, attack any keeper creatures or
anything that's openly hostile. Anyone who has the banner of any of
the other Lords or King Reginald should be allowed in, as well as any
villagers. You must explain to any of those that I listed as to what
has transpired." Benjamin requested.
"Very well." the voice responded.
=======================================================================
Next time on Dungeon Keeper Ukyou!
Benjamin seeks to warn the other Lords.
Keeper Ukyou hot on Benjamin's heels.
Dominique begins her hunt for Benjamin.
What awaits Keeper Gornigan in the Snapdragon?
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