Trunks rolled over in his sleep, mumbled something, then slowly opened his eyes. Dark. It was Dark in his room. Then something clicked. Oh, yeah! It was night!

Then, something else clicked.

Uh oh.

Night only meant one thing.

His nightly gatherings with his father; the homicidal sadist.

Just the other night he'd awakened to the sound of shuffling around. When he'd opened his eyes, he'd seen Vegita crouched in the corner of his ceiling like spider man wearing a pink tutu and ballet slippers.

Every night he would drag Trunks out into the back yard for his 'special training' which consisted of wearing humiliating garments and dancing to gay music.

In other words, Ballet.

Vegita had tried many times to convince his son that ballet was the secret to being the greatest Saiyan. Being obsessed with that goal, it would only be natural to obsess his Son into it as well.

Trunks opened his eyes again when the rough cloth of the hideous pink tutu brushed against his face. "D-dad?"

"Were you expecting Santa?" the growley voice retorted.

"No...but...It would have been much more satisfying." Trunks replied meekly.

"Get up!"

"Dad...please."

"Now! Hurry Trunks! Time is nigh! Don't you want to be the greatest Saiyan!?"

"Yes, but...do we have to go about it this way?"

"Of course!! Ballet is the secret, Trunks! None of that stupid fighting and destroying and mindless cursing! Let ballet take you in it's arms, sweep you away! Let yourself soar to the sound of a thousand Violins! Hurrah! Hurrah!"

Trunks wanted very much for his father with the split personality to shut up, so he climbed out of bed. "Sigh..."

"Here." Vegita said, shoving a blue tutu in his face, along with blue slippers, a pink satin ribbon and blue tights.

Trunks obediently dressed and they departed for their training.

*****

While sneaking through the kitchen, Vegita stopped. "Sshhh! Do you hear that?"

"What?" Asked Trunks.

"It's...It's Bulma! My god! She can't see us like this! What would she say?"

"Dad...?"

Bulma walked into the kitchen then, and switched on a light.

Vegita and Trunks froze.

"Hurry up, boy!" Vegita cursed, heaving Trunks up on his shoulders.

Trunks tried to protest as he was roughly thrown through the roof of the ceiling, Vegita quick in pursuit.

Bulma stood by the fridge, blinked a few times, and shook her head. "Nah..." She walked over the the spot where they had once been and looked up. A large imprint of Trunks was neatly in its place. "Oh...my."

Vegita and Trunks sprinted across the yard, Vegita taking a second to dive behind a bush. Trunks was pulled in after him.

"Dad..." he started, crouched beside the giant tutu. "Is this great training really worth all the stress?"

"SHH! Of course Trunks! How else do you think I aquired this manly, superbly formed ass of mine?"

"Uh..."

"Don't you want an ass like mine?"

"Sure, but..."

"Then shut up and dance!"

*****

Bulma glanced through the window of the Capsule Corp. What a peaceful night. The beautiful moon, the beautiful, FULL moon... The nice little green bush with the flaring tip of black hair peeking over it inching away slowly.

Bulma fainted.

*****

Vegita walked over to his record player and played the William Tell Overture.

"dance, boy! Dance! And the secret of superb asses will be yours!! HA HA!!"

Trunks sighed and stood beside his father.

"One-two-three-One-two-three-One-two-three that's it! Dance!! DANCE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! DANCE MY PUPPET!!!!"

Trunks groaned in agony as the back of his leotards split up the side. "Another pair..." he groaned.

"That's all right Trunks! Don't you see? Tis, tis an omen!"

"An omen?"

"Your manliness is developing!"

"Wow." He was promptly knocked upside the head.

"You're not keeping in time!" Vegita said in a whiney gay sort of voice.

"William Tells overture's kinda hard to keep in time with dad."

"Well, try!"

*****

After some time, Trunks stopped. "I need a drink."

Vegita snapped out of his trance and came to a stop. "What?"

"I said I need a drink."

"There's a puddle right there." Vegita offered.

"Dad...I'm not a dog."

"But you are my manly ballet student! No manly ballet student of mine needs a drink!"

"I'm going."

"I'll come with you." Vegita said, walking beside him. "I don't trust you."

"Thanks."

*****

They entered the capsule Corp, Trunks headed instantly for the sink. "Hey...what's that?" He asked aloud, nudging the form on the floor. "It's mom!"

Vegita made a strangling sound as Bulma got up wearily, rubbing her eyes.

"WHAT THE HELL??" she screamed.

Vegita turned crimson and yanked Trunks towards him with one hand. "SAIYAN TELEPORT!" he cried desperately.

Nothing happened, obviously.

Bulma made a disgusted face. "What's wrong with you? And just what the hell are you wearing?"

"A tutu." Trunks replied weakly.

"Shame boy! Don't address tutu's with such depression in your voice! It's a holy word, damn you! Now smarten up!"

Bulma snorted. "A TUTU??"

Some loud obscenities followed.

"Look woman..." Vegita said, walking up towards her. "Don't hate us because we're beautiful."

Bulma looked nervous. "This...doesn't have anything to do with...the author being on a candy high, does it?"

Vegita's left eyebrow started twitching.

There was a short scene of a darkened hallway.

Here entered Bulma, cautious, as always, of what the author was going to do to her lover this time...

She walked down the hallway, since there was nowhere else to walk, and ended up standing in front of a darkened room. "Guys...?" she called, nervous.

A light switched on.

Gohan and Mr.Popo stood staring back at her, pupils dilated, mouths foaming slightly.

"..."

They promptly held up signs. Mr.Popo's read; We know nothing. Gohans said; We're just doing math problems.

Bulma promptly left, trying hard to ignore the fact that Goku was splashing around in a room next to her wearing a silver mermaid tail inside a hot tub filled with sparkling jello.

*****

Vegeta rolled over in bed, abruptly brushing up against something small and furry.

His eyes shot open...Bulma was nowhere to be seen.

"Err...."

The 'fuzzy thing' moved slightly.

Vegeta fought the urge to scream.

Either Bulma had manifested into a frightning, unblinking cat not unlike her fathers, or Goku had slipped mind altering drugs into his sake last night.

"Bulma...? Nani wa...?"

Now Vegeta....don't make any sudden movements. That would be stupid, and would go against all those years of hard training...this is probably your wife playing an evil trick on you...

Yeah, but what if it IS my wife...?

...That could be a possibility. Why not take it to your advantage? If I wasn't just some cricket sitting on your shoulder, I'd probably cross my arms and smile evilly just to emphasises that idea...but, that would go against Disney regulations.

So you're saying I should....??

Go for it. You only live once.

Not when you've got sparkly little balls with stars on em just waiting to be found.

Shut up and put YOUR balls into action, you baka.

Vegeta did grin evilly, just as the imaginary cricket told him to. Then, knowing that he was naked, he moved his hips forward, receiving a squeak from....Bulma.

Then suddenly, he was hit with a case of the heebie jeebies.

Um, you're not...err, 'watching' me or anything...are you?

It's what we do.

I don't feel comfortable with you watching me when I'm...

Having sex? It's nothing to be ashamed of...

You'd better leave before I do something violent.

....Okay. Have fun.

Vegeta held his breath. He waited a few moments. After a minuet or two, he sighed, and resumed his assault on Bulmas new little game...

YOU THRUST YOUR PELVIS, UH!!! THRUST YOUR PELVIS, UH!!

Vegeta didn't have time to react towards the Crickets obscene remark. All he did was make a 'face' at discovering the thing was indeed not Bulma, nor any part of her body at all.

Then, a fraction of a second later, all he heard was the tiny enraged sounds of; PiiiikaaaACHUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!

Sparks flew.

The Cricket screamed.

Vegeta made another 'face' except this one was of pure terror, confusion, anger and extreme pain.

After the 'thing' left him and scurried under the bed, Vegeta lay in near paralysis, his chest heaving, his legs curled in a feeble position.

Then, very slowly, he brought his hands down towards his groin, and moaned very, very, loudly. A few moments passed while he regained some dignity, composure, and consciousness.

And then, his face angled downwards in it's usual murderous stare that he usually gave when he was royally pissed, pardon the pun

...he leaned over the side of the bed, moving with deliberate care. Under the bed was a fat, small yellow mouse with a tail much like a lightning bolt and two black eyes that stared at him in fear and defiance.

Vegeta blinked. "I just fucked a mouse?"

The mouse lunged forward a bit. "PIKA!!" apparently, the mouse wasn't feeling any better than he was. It didn't want to seem to sit on its ass...

Vegeta gave it another silencing glare, and crawled back over the burnt bed sheets, slowly, again. "I'll get you later...right now..." If he wasn't a Sayajin, not to mention one of the very strongest, he would have most certainly been dead by now.

He was okay, in particular, but....what about...IT?

He looked down, looked over to the closet, and spotted some clothes. Then, after his mind wandering off the subject that he had previously engaged in anal intercourse with an electrical rat, he started to wonder where Bulma was...

It better not be fried, cricket. Or you die.

What's that? Are you accusing me?

You knew that was a rat, baka.

I did not.

Do you enjoy watching young men do this to themselves?

Well, the look on your face was rather hilarious.

You die. Now.

I run fast.

I teleport.

Hmph. I'd hate to see what anybody would think watching you streak through the house nude screaming obscenities at an imaginary cricket, my dear prince.

There was a short silence.

Vegeta thought that over.

I mean really, Vegeta. Haven't you had a bad enough morning?

There was more silence.

"Well, I would have a hard time explaining that to Kakarott...or anyone else for that matter..."

Good. Then I'll leave you now, leave you and your mouse lover to sort things out. Oh right, don't get to close, he has distemper.

Vegeta's eyebrows lowered so far they would have suffocated anyone else's eyeballs by then. His mouth turned down so deeply that his fangs clearly glistened in the morning sun. He looked mad enough to chew nails.

Oh my... That's funny.

If, of course, you like Namikiens.

But, there were more important things to do.

He dressed, the ordeal taking him a good hour to properly get his attire on. The underwear was especially painful...

And then he marched downstairs.

*****

"Heya Vegeta!"

Vegeta turned a disapproving glare towards Kakarott, who was over for some of Mrs.Briefs breakfast.

Damn the idiot. He just had to be here...

"Hmph." Was his usual answer.

Even though he seemed especially sour this morning, nothing could wipe the idiotic vacant expression of joy from the warrior's face. "You just gonna stand there the whole time?" he finally implored.

"Shut up Kakarott! I will get my breakfast when I please, and not before, baka!"

He was still smiling. "Just asking."

There was a silence.

Vegeta scowled and turned his head slightly away from him. My, the kitchen table seemed so suddenly far away, this morning.

Mrs.Briefs bounded into the kitchen, smiling happily as she hummed some tune and dished out a few hundred pancakes onto Gokus plate. Which, sadly, wouldn't do much to keep him occupied.

"Err, where's Bulma?"

Kakarotts wide, shinning eyes peered excitedly over his towering mass of pancakes, causing Vegeta to falter and wonder how his neck suddenly got so long... Yes, it was Goku, the extraterrestrial.

"She's outside, working on parts, Vegeta!" she chirped back. "How many pancakes?"

Vegeta tossed a glance to Kakarotts, who's owlish eyes still stared back at him. He quickly counted... Can't have him beating me... "More than he's got, any ways."

The eyes vanished, followed quickly by sounds of hurried eating.

Vegeta still hadn't moved. He suddenly noticed Bulmas mother staring at him.

"Well? Cat got your tongue?"

No. Mouse got my dick.

He had to move. Now or never.

His first leg shot forward hurriedly, then his right, then the other as he awkwardly lunged towards the chair trying not to resemble a waddling duck as he plopped down.

Goku stared.

Vegeta scowled, his usual response, and grabbed the fork next to his plate in a fashion much like 'The Beast' in that idiotic human Disney movie did.

He groaned a bit, crossed his legs, almost screamed in pain, and decided to let them hang open under the table.

"Everything okay?" Kakarott asked suddenly.

Vegeta took a breath, tried to get his heart under control and said; "Fine, baka."

His eyes shone....again. "Just curious!"

They started eating again.

It was only moments after that Vegeta felt something brush up against his ankle. His head shot up and he looked at Kakarott, who was busy stuffing his mouth. "What're you...?"

The touch became more intense. Vegeta reared his hand back, fork at the ready, and heaved it straight towards the offending Sayajins pancake, which hit the wall inches from his head.

"Huh?"

Vegeta scowled. "Kakarott! I have a wife!"

A look of pure stupidity crossed his rival's face. "Uh huh..." he said slowly, his brain trying to comprehend what the Prince was saying.

Vegeta went red, perhaps in rage, perhaps in something else. "SO WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING-"

He was cut short when a small yellow head peered up from between his legs, looking angry. "Pika Pi! Pikachu!!"

A short but violent explosion followed afterwards.

Fortunately, Mrs.Briefs had suffered these sort of experiences of spontaneous acts of rage from Vegeta in the past, and had enough sense to fling herself out of harms way, which didn't give her much room...

"DAMMIT!" Vegeta felt himself powering up before he counted to ten, lowered his fists and closed his eyes.

Mrs.Berifs was brushing debris from her apron when she waved a frying pan angrily at the Sayajin. "VEGETA! Just LOOK what you did to my kitchen! Did Goku get more Aunt Jemmina than you, again?"

Vegeta ingored her, his eyes scanning for the mouse. "Where are you, you stupid fool!?...you can't hide forever."

Inside a cabinet, where Mrs.Breifs kept her household chemicals, Pikachu found he could easily hide forever, and keep himself entertained the whole while... Damn, that Lysol stuff was pretty sweet.

Needless to say, nothing much happened after that horrible situation.

Vegeta went on being the prince he was, rude arrogant and proud down to the last detail...all except for one small thing.

He wasn't ever quite the same after that, especially whenever he passed under powerlines or walked too close to an electric transformer.

And, as if maters weren't bad enough, he still couldn't find wherever that damn rodent had trekked off to. Oh well...there's always another fik ^_~

~Madame Danish of France

Questions, comments, and such statements as 'what the hell were you THINKING'?? send to: Yuna_Of_Ehrgeiz@hotmail.com

http://www.oocities.org/Tokyo/Lights/1100/smchaos.html

Spoon Productionsª copywrite to Jessypoo/Mazoku/Jessa Metallium 2000