Reno gripped the glass tightly, mako colored eyes narrowed slightly.  He had kept his head down the whole night, and Rude was beginning to get worried.  The bluish bruises on Reno's neck only deepened his concern.

"Reno..." he began, looking at the redheaded Turk over his shades.

Reno didn't look up; instead, his grip on the glass seemed to tighten and his eyes narrowed a little more.

Rude frowned slightly.  "Don't do this... don't close up.  What happened?"

"Damn it, Rude!  Just let it be!" the younger Turk snapped, taking a large gulp of his brandy.

A sigh, as Rude removed his sunglasses and really looked at Reno.  He noticed that the young man looked particularly pale and scruffy that night, and seemed almost... nervous?  As if he was just itching to leave...

Why...?  And why wont he tell me what's wrong?

Rude was startled out of his thoughts when Reno stood up so quickly that he almost knocked over his glass.

"Look, Rude... it's been great, but I gotta get going," the redhead said as he was putting on his jacket.  He gave his friend a grin, though it seemed a bit forced, "Got some paper work I gotta give to Rufus..."

Rude watched his friend leave, and frowned darkly.

...Rufus...

* * * *

Reno felt a nervous tingle run down his spine as he drove back towards the Shinra Building.  He forced down the little, nagging feeling of self-loathing that he always got.  He knew that he couldn't stay away... he would always crawl back, no matter what Rufus did to him...

He ran his fingers through his slightly mussed red hair and pulled into the parking lot.  It would only be a matter of minutes now.

Words said only yesterday echoed through his head...

"I don't know why you bother to wear anything when you come here.  You know it'll only get ruined.  Whore..."

The sneer on Rufus's face when he had said that also stuck out in Reno's mind.  The young vice president usually looked so calm and cool, but when he was with Reno, he was so much different...

That's when the anger and hatred came out.

The Turk smiled wanely as he walked down the hall and to the elevator.  His fingers brushed lightly over the bruises on his neck.

You're sick, Reno, he thought as he stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the seventieth floor.

He turned and looked out the glass back of the elevator, his eyes wandering over the landscape of buildings built too close and dark alley ways.  Midgar held a dirty kind of beauty.  Much like Reno himself.

Or so Rufus told him...

The doors opened, and Reno stepped out and walked down the long hallway towards the large, dark polished wooden doors at the end.  The ones with the golden plate engraved with the words: Vice President Rufus Shinra.

Long, pale fingers reached out and carressed the wood for a split second before the hand transformed into a fist and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's Reno, sir."

There was a long pause, and Reno shifted uncomfortably, waiting.  Finally, there was an answer.

"Come in..."

We go through this every time... I don't know why it still makes me nervous, Reno thought as he opened the door and stepped into the darkened office.

Rufus sat at his desk, hands folded on its surface.  Behind him, the wall was taken up by a huge window over looking the city.  His city.  The lights of the many buildings provided just enough illumination for the two men to see.

"Reno... do you what happened today?" Rufus asked in a soft, but deadly voice.  It was too calm...

"...No, sir..."

Reno stood in the center of the room and held his hands tightly behind to keep them from shaking.  Something in Rufus Shinra's demenor was making him very nervous.

"My mother died," Rufus said, getting up slowly.

Reno swallowed.  "I... I'm sorry..."

"Sir," Rufus mumbled as he walked over to Reno, still moving rather slowly.

God... what's he gonna do??

Rufus grabbed Reno by the coller of his shirt, and yanked him forward, until their faces were inches apart.  "I think this will be the last time we see each other like this, Reno..." he whispered.

It was then that Reno saw the slight redness in Rufus's eyes.  He had been crying!  And it looked like he had been doing so for some time...

"Is it, sir...?" the redhead murmured.

"Yes... but you'll never forget what we had, Reno," the President hissed, leaning in to kiss his Turk forcefully.

Reno almost winced at the bruising kiss.  But he was used to it.  It was the Vice President's words that frightened him the most...

Rufus bit Reno's lip lightly and broke off the kiss to stare into those mako eyes.  He smiled coldly.  "I think the last bit of my humanity died today, Reno... it was buried deep in the ground in a pure white coffin... killed by my father's acted grief...  God, I hate that bastard!"

The Turk bit the inside of his cheek when Rufus shook him slightly.  However, his eyes widened when Rufus's right hand snapped out, and the city lights glinted off of something metal.  Reno let out a cry and stumbled back, hand over his left cheek.

The blonde man took a deep, shaking breath.  In his hand, he held a now-bloodied razor blade.  "Better you than me, Reno... if you hadn't showed up, the old man would be crying over another coffin," he spat.

Shit!!  Is he going to kill me!? Reno wondered in a panic.  However, he made no move to escape.  Some sick part of him made him stay.

Rufus, smiling slightly, reached out and ran his fingers through the blood on Reno's cheek.  He ran his crimson coated fingers lightly over Reno's lips.  "Too bad your pretty face is going to be marred..."

"Small price to pay," Reno mumbled, reaching out to catch Rufus's hand.  He kissed the Vice President's wrist and let go, raising his eyes to meet those of his superior.

"Submissiveness will get you hurt, Reno," Rufus said with a mocking smile.

"I'm only a toy... and it seems that your toys get broken all too quickly," the Turk answered with a smirk.  He didn't flinch when Rufus lashed out, marking a gash across his right cheek.

Damn it... how will I explain this tomorrow? he wondered dully.

"It was fun while it lasted, Reno..." the blonde man said in a low voice.  He moved towards Reno again, noting with a faint smile that the Turk was leaning against the wall.

Blood streamed freely down Reno's cheeks, almost like a mockery of tears.  Only there was too much of the crimson liquid.  The redhead wondered for a moment if it was possible to lose too much blood this way.

"You're beautiful, Reno.  And you'll always belong to me.  Today I died, and tonight I took a little piece of you down with me.  And I think that it's enough..." Rufus bit out in a harsh whisper.

Reno wondered at his words.  The young man was making little sense, and the Turk guessed that the grief was causing too much strain on him.  "...Sorry that I wasn't good enough... Rufus..."

"Sir," Rufus snapped, gripping a thin shoulder tightly and shoving Reno against the wall.  The anger disappeared from the Vice President's face, and for a brief, fleeting moment, he looked like a scared, lost little boy.  He leaned forward and pressed his cheek against Reno's, ignoring the blood.

Reno flinched slightly as his cut throbbed.

Rufus's almost delicate fingers came up to brush the fading bruises on Reno's neck.  "You don't love me, do you?"

The Turk's silence answered for him.

The blonde smiled sadly.  "It doesn't matter anyway.  I don't need love..." he said softly, pulling back.  A bright red smear decorated his right cheek.  He reached out and brushed his fingers over the wound on Reno's left cheek, then brought the fingers to his own face, leaving an identical red smear there as well.

The only sound in the office was Reno's harsh, shakey breathing.

Rufus closed his eyes and counted to ten.  When he opened them again, the frosted blue depths his the inner turmoil once more.  The cold facade was slipped back on much too easily.  "Get out of my office, Reno.  This is the last time you'll be here for any reason other than business."

The redhead let out an unsteady laugh and took a step towards Rufus, grinning.  "Yeah?  Well... someday you're going to fuck with the wrong person... and maybe you'll end up in my position... and you'll be the one bleeding on the expensive carpet and suit.  See you around, Rufus..."

The young man frowned, and didn't reply.

Reno allowed himself to sneer as his hand touched the door handle.  "You were a good fuck, pretty boy," he hissed mockingly.  With that, he let himself out.

And Rufus slowly sunk down to the floor.

* * * *

God, where the hell do I go!? Reno asked himself as he stumbled out of the building.  He left his car in the lot, not really trusting himself to drive any more that night.

"Rude," he muttered, heading in the direction of his friend's home.

While passing by an alley way, a figure stumbled out, hands grasping at Reno's stained jacket.  "Please, spare some gils?" the man slurred.

When he saw Reno's bloodied face, he let go immediately, and backed away, stuttering unintelligably.  The ragged man disappeared back into the alley.

By the time Reno reached Rude's apartment, he was staggering, and his whole face hurt.  He knocked loudly on the door, praying that the bald Turk was home.  Reno heard a grumble, and the sound of footfalls, and then the door was opened.

Anything Rude had been going to say died in his throat when he saw Reno.  Without a word, he let the younger Turk in.

Reno shuddered, and watched impassively as Rude went to get a cloth to clean the cuts.  When the bald Turk returned and began to clean away the dried blood, Reno's eyes seemed to glass over.

Rude said nothing, even though he desperately wanted to ask what had happened.  He didn't want to believe that Reno was letting the vice president abuse him like this.  Not Reno... he's stronger than that.  Isn't he...?

"...There was nothing I could do..."

Rude looked up at the sound of the redhead's voice.  "What do you mean?" he asked as he reached for some sutures.

"His mother's dead.  He's dead.  Inside, I mean.  Even the anger's gone... the anger, the shouting... the... the fucking, he didn't do that... not this time..." Reno babbled, twisting the hem of his dark blue jacket between his fingers.

Christ, Reno.  Why didn't you tell me?  I would've put a stop to it... Tseng wouldn't have let it continue!

Out loud, the older Turk only said, "He didn't deserve you, Reno."

Reno's eyes seemed to focus again, and he frowned sharply.  "No.  I didn't deserve him... that's all there is to it!" he snapped.

Rude took a deep breath, standing up after he finished with Reno's wounds.  "Rufus Shinra had no right to do this, or any of the other things he's done to you.  Reno, you know it's not right.  You know--"

"But it's okay.  It doesn't have to be 'right' to be okay."

"Damn it, Reno," the bald man muttered, "Why are you so stubborn?"

"...I'm sorry..."

Rude sighed, and sat down on the couch beside Reno.  "It's okay... but, why did you let him do it?"

"I... wanted to," Reno said softly, looking mildly frustrated with himself.

"Did you?"

"...No.  I wanted the attention, and he wanted a punching bag.  It was okay for awhile... a fucked up parody of love..." Reno trailed off for a moment, shrugging.  "I was just his whore... for awhile.  But it's still okay..."

"Christ, Reno... I don't know if I'm going to be able to look at that bastard without wringing his neck," Jacob Rude growled.  He was seething with hatred towards the blonde.

"Don't."

The simple word put out some of Rude's fire.  He wished that Reno hated the arrogant blonde too, but for some reason, he refused to do that.  And it hurt.  It hurt Rude, because his best friend was letting Rufus get away with this...

"I'm sorry Rude, but I can't.  It's... not that I love him... I just... I think that he'll do a good enough job of destroying himself.  And anyway, can't have you getting killed for offing Shinra," Reno said with a half hearted grin.

Rude rubbed the back of his head and sighed.  "Okay, Reno... you win... but I'm still gonna hate him."

Reno slumped down on the couch, looking smaller... hurt, and alone.  "...Yeah..."

The full force of what had happened that night, and so many before it, had finally hit the young Turk.  And he realized that he was even more fucked up than he had first thought.

Damn...

"Rude?" Reno began, finally.

"Yeah?"

"...I think I'm gonna need your help, to get me back on track..."

Rude smiled; a rare sight indeed.  "You know I'm there for you, Reno."

Reno nodded absently and raked his fingers through his bright red hair.  He thought briefly of the Shinra therapists, then let out a short laugh.  There was no way he would get help from them, but Reno knew he needed to talk to someone about his dangerously masochistic tendancies.

"Thanks, Rude... you're a good friend."

Jacob Rude chuckled.  "Maybe... you gonna crash here tonight, or do you want a lift back to your place?"

Reno smiled faintly.  "This couch is feeling better and better, man.  It's okay if I stay?"

Rude nodded and got up again.  "I think I'm going to go back to bed... you gonna be okay?"

"I'm always okay, Rude," Reno said with a smile, "You know me."

I do, Reno.  And I know you've been a good actor since I met you.  But not good enough... Rude thought, as he nodded and headed to his bedroom.  He would check on the redhead later.  It would do no good to try to get him to talk when he didn't want to.

Once Rude was out of sight, Reno let the fake smile disappear.  Guess you don't know me... or... maybe, you know me better than even I do.  I'm glad I have a friend like you, Rude.  And hopefully I'll be able to face Rufus again...

"G'night, man..." Reno muttered, laying down on the couch, slipping one of the pillows under his head.  He closed his mako eyes, refusing to look out the window.

Refusing to see His city...

~owari~

Author's Note: Hope you like this, V! ^_^ If you think anything should be changed, let me know, mmmkay? Also, I've decided that this fic is gonna be dedicated to you. Yay! Don'tcha feel special?