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Bonjour everyone! If only my French teacher could
see this. Then he'd know I'm actually learning 
something! Anyways to Meriellen5 and Midnight2050,
thanks for all da support and love! To Venus, much
love to you! For everyone whose written, *MUAH*,
a kiss from me to you!

I don't own Sailormoon, that's bout it.

Rated: PG-13

Please visit my webpage:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Lights/8268/
Also sign my guestbook!

Laugh and cry, live and die
Life is a dream we are dreaming
Day by day I find my way
Look for the soul and the meaning

Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And l am not lost anymore

People run, sun to sun,
Caught in their lives ever flowing
Once begun, life goes till it's gone
We have to go where it's going

Then you look at me
And I always see
What I have been searching for
I'm lost as can be
Then you look at me
And I am not lost anymore

And you say you see
When you look at me
The reason you love life so
Though lost I have been
I find love again

And life just keeps on running
And life just keeps on running
You look at me and life comes from you...
			- Celine Dion 

On February 7th, the Japanese seiyuu, Shiho Niiyama, passed 
away of a leukemia like disease. She was 29 years old. Best known 
for her role as Seiya Kou/Sailor Starfighter from Bishoujo Soldier
Sailormoon.

My story is dedicated to her. May she rest in peace.

A tribute to her is on this page:
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Field/8016/shiho.html


Then You Look At Me (Chapter Three: Colorblind)
By: JLaLa (jlynpinay@aol.com)
************************************************************************
They remembered the blissful look on his face that summer night. The 
group had assembled to help organize the wedding minus Setsuna who 
was of course at the Time Gate. It was a month till the wedding and 
though it SEEMED as if Usagi had it together, she DIDN'T.

"Mamo-chan, Motoki called and said that he can't seemed to get a flight
before the wedding", Usagi cried. "You don't have a best man" Her 
fiancee kissed the side of her head and only nodded.

"Then I won't have a best man", Mamoru concluded. It didn't seem right 
to not have one though.

"Maybe someone else can", Usagi said to him and her face brightened. 
"How about Seiya?" Everyone turned to look at her in disbelief, after
all this time she didn't see the quiet rivalry for her. Sweet Usagi,
never noticing the bad. She wanted to see the two guys in her life
become friends.

"I...guess", Mamoru said agreeing. He however was not very at ease
about it. Him and Seiya got along better but it was still kind of
weird and not to mention painful for Seiya. He'd never say that
though.

Everyone's eyes were on Seiya who had been peacefully sorting the
invitation acceptances in a shoe box. For awhile he only stood
looking at them, his eyes expressionless and glazed. Suddenly
they quickly clouded.

"I-I-I don't know", He said shaking his head and walked off into
the front of Rei's house. Everyone looked at each other shaking 
their heads. This was a bad way to find out.

"What happened?", Usagi asked, her eyes confused though tears
swam in them.

"I suggest you go talk to him", Mamoru said quietly and looked into
her hurt eyes. Kissing her forehead he pushed her forward.
*********************************************************************
Seiya looked up sadly at the stars that were spread across the velvety
night sky. Out here it was okay to feel pain that burdened him so much,
he had not noticed that Usagi had quietly walked up behind him.

"Seiya?", She said quietly, her twinkling voice high in the air. He 
turned to her and for a moment she saw the pain that she had caused
though she never knew it. He would never put that on her. "What's 
wrong?"

"Odango, for the longest time I have been in love with you", Seiya 
said quietly as the two sat in the stairs. "I have never wanted to 
cause you any pain and that's why I never told you. The thing is 
Usagi, you have this perfect life and Mamoru, he is perfect. I'm 
no match for him and I'm not trying to be. I know you love him 
very much and he loves you" A tear fell from his eye. "And I 
know that you will never love me like you love him. And I don't 
ask you to, I would spend the rest of my life content if you 
could only love me a little"  He took her hand and squeezed it. 

"Why are you telling me this?", She asked through her tears.
The guilt ran through her, she had hurt him all this time
and probably a million times before that. Usagi began to
question exactly how good of a person she was. 

"Because after this night we will forget this ever happened", He said.
"We will never talk of it but I will always, always love you, I would
give my life for you and all I asked is that you save a tiny place 
in your heart for me. And once in awhile, when you have a moment to 
yourself think of me and know that there is someone always loving 
you till the end of his life" He kissed a tear away. "It's time to
go inside Odango" They got up and for a moment looked into each others
eyes, both full of bittersweet tears and Usagi took him in her arms.
For she did love him, she loved him like her own blood. They both
knew it would always be nothing but that. As they got up Usagi went
ahead to give Seiya a moment to compose himself but not before one
more question.

"Seiya do you-"

"No, I will never regret telling you how I feel", He said. "I only 
wished it could different for me" Her eyes filled with sad tears 
for him. She nodded.

"Yeah me too", She said before going inside.
*********************************************************************
The couple laid in each others arms that night and Usagi who was 
usually so full of life seemed so quiet. Mamoru somehow suspected 
it had to do with Seiya and felt a harshness towards for him.

"There's something in Seiya that makes me wonder", Mamoru remarked. 
"A feeling in him that so strong it affects everyone" Usagi turned 
to him and as they laid they were eye to eye.

"Mamo-chan, he is lonely and though you don't see it there is a deep 
sadness in him no one will ever cure", Usagi said sadly and seriously.
"And though you don't feel much towards him, try to like him a little,
maybe love him a little, he needs it so much, you of all people should
know how it feels to be alone"

Mamoru laid surprised at his girlfriend's maturity toward manners of 
the heart and he nodded understanding or trying to understand how 
Seiya felt. He knew how it felt to put up a facade and not let anyone 
heal the pain that lays in peoples heavy hearts. He had been lucky to 
have someone like his Usako to love him, others were not so lucky. 
Because of this he promised to be nicer to Seiya and try to be his 
friend, maybe if he let they could be almost brothers.

"I will try", He promised and kissed her lips. "I love you"

"I know you do, I love you very much Mamo-chan", She said with tears. 
"Always know that" He nodded and she turned off the light. Mamoru 
looked at her sweet face and long hair spread against the pillow. 
A small smile spread against her sleeping lips and he kissed her 
hair inhaling her lovely scent.

And for the millionth time he thank God for her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Excuse the suckiness! Ja!