If Tomorrow Never Comes

Chapter Eight

Written by: FuuMegami

Email: FuuNeko@yahoo.com

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Rayearth characteres and or liknesses nor do I own any of the songs/lyrics present in this chapter. The song belongs to Faith Hill (p.s. I'm a big fan of her!)

Fuu was tired, and cold, and hated being either of them. And being so tired and cold all the time made her sad, and she knew she was bringing Ferio down too. Fuu lay propped up on the couch with a bride magazine in her hands. Hikaru had bought it for her a few days after the prom.

Fuu sighed, it now seemed like forever until she and Ferio were get married. They could get married now it they really wanted to, but Fuu wanted to be healthy when she and Ferio exchanged vows.

She turned her attention to the tv she had taped a few episodes of Passions that she really liked. Her current favorite was the one with Sheridan's funeral, Luis has the most romantic and sad words she had ever heard. If only she could tell him that the body wasn't Sheridan's!

"It's not Sheridan," Fuu said even though there was no way to tell someone on tv.

Kuu stood in the door way shaking her head, Fuu was now talking to the tv, what was next? She was about to say something when the phone rang.

"You get it!" Fuu called as she reached for a tissue.

Kuu rolled her eyes, "yes ma'am." She picked up the phone, "hello?"

Kuu's face hardened as she listened to what the caller was saying, then it softened, and filled with sadness. "Fuu, it's for you."

Kuu handed the phone to her little sister and then stood by to comfort her.

"Hello?" Fuu said.

"Hi Fuu... This is Brittany's mother," the voice on the other line replied.

"Oh hi, how is she?"

"That's what I'm calling about... Fuu...." Brittany's mother trailed off and made a few sniffling noise. "Brittany passed away an hour ago." She finally finished.

"Oh.... I'm... I'm so sorry." Fuu said as tears welled up in her eyes once again.

Kuu hugged her sister as the two of them sobbed. "She's in a better place," Kuu assured her sister.

Fuu nodded. "But do you really think that makes me feel any better?"

Kuu shook her head, "no. I know it doesn't. But it's the only truth to the matter. She's finished her suffering and got to go home."

Fuu sobbed more feeling awful that she hadn't written to Brittany that week.

"I want... I want Ferio-chan," Fuu hick-upped.

"You can call him, he has his cell phone with him." Kuu replied.

Kuu sat next to her sister and put her arm around her. Fuu declined to make the call and instead took a nap, she wanted too see Ferio not just talk to him.

Fuu awoke around six with a massive head ache, even with all her medication. Ferio was waiting, watching a baseball game on TV.

"I'm really sorry Fuu," Ferio said as he sat down beside her.

"I never got to sing again, oh Ferio... I never sang her song for her! Maybe if I had sang the song she would have pulled through. Or if I had written to her more often..." Fuu said as Ferio pulled her into his arms.

"Fuu-chan, c'mon, use some common sense, none of what you just said makes any sense. It's not your fault, it's not." Ferio said trying his best to comfort her.

"My head hurts." Fuu said as she rubbed her temples.

"Probably from all the crying," Ferio replied.

Fuu nodded wearily. "Head aches wear me down, chemo wears me down, emotions wears me down. Ferio, I'm always tired and week. I don't like this." Fuu said as she stared to cry.

"But you'll get better Fuu-chan," Ferio replied. "You gotta keep reminding yourself of that. We'll be married in just two years, and hey, maybe even a year later we'll have our first kid. Come on, don't give up on that dream." Ferio pleaded.

Fuu shook her head. "I can't. I'm too tired and too broken."

"Because you're trying to do things you're not supposed to, you're just supposed to be getting better. Concentrate on that." Ferio replied.

Fuu smiled, Ferio sure knew all the right words at exactly the right time, and they were true too.

"You're right..." Fuu trailed off.

Ferio poked her. "You're cute when you're all sad and weepy."

Fuu's eyes widened and she gave him a shoved. "Don't joke like that!"

"Just think, this summer is all about you getting better, and next summer will be all about getting ready for a wedding. A girl couldn't have better plans." Ferio said.

Fuu shrugged. "I'm feeling depressed and grumpy."

Ferio grinned, "I know just what you need." He started giving her a shoulder rub. "Best way to relax a lady."

Fuu closed her eyes and leaned her head forward. He was easing her very tense muscles in her shoulders, oh, but what she would give for him to make her head stop hurting.

The next day Fuu sat home alone feeling very bored and very lonely. She was trying not to do much, but it was driving her insane! So she had to think a project that wouldn't take up a lot of time or effort. The question was: what.

She wasn't particularly good at drawing. Though she could sing, but that wasn't something she was going to be able to do from home. Suddenly an idea hit her; she'd make a video montage of her and Ferio. All she had to do was take their various videos and put them all on one, highlighting the best stuff. Something that would be fun but not a lot of work. She had all the videos and the two VCR's for copying tapes. It was perfect!

She was about to get to work on her project when the phone rang. She knew the answering machine could handle pick up for her, but she felt like answering. It turned out to be Brittany's mother.

"If you're feeling up to it, we'd love it if you'd sing a song during the burial of Brittany." Brittany's mother said.

Fuu's breathe caught in her chest as a sob threatened to escape. "Uh... Yeah. I'd really love too. I'll sing There You'll Be since I knew she wanted me to sing that at the hospital."

"Thank you," Brittany's replied.

"It's my pleasure." Fuu replied sadly.

"At least my life couldn't get any worse," Fuu said as she looked in the mirror.

She was starting to look pale, and yet almost sickly yellow. Fuu wrinkled up her nose, and her black dress wasn't helping any. Now wasn't the time to worry about how she looked though, not when one of her friends was being buried.

"I'm dressed," Fuu said loud enough that Ferio who was on the other side of her bed room door could hear.

He opened the door and came in. "You look beautiful as always," he said as he planted a kiss on her left cheek.

"You always say that," Fuu said as she gave him a slight leer.

"Then it must always be true, how about that?" Ferio replied.

She shook her head, "now where is my sheet music?"

Ferio handed it to her, "you left it out in the hall."

Fuu laughed. "I feel so lost right now."

"It's ok," he replied as he hugged her.

The sun beat down on Fuu's back as she stood out in a green and grassy cemetery. Birds chirped and flew above.

'It doesn't feel like a funeral...' Fuu thought to herself.

But it really started to feel like one as she laid a red rose on the top of a small white casket. Then the music began to play, and Fuu knew it was time to sing.

"When I think back on these times and the dreams we left behind

I'll be glad cause I was blessed to get to have you in my life

When I look back on these days I'll look and see your face

You were right there for me

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky

In my heart there'll always be a place for you for all my life

I'll keep a part of you with me

And everywhere I am there you'll be

And everywhere I am there you'll be"

After the last verse of the song Fuu couldn't hold back her tears any longer and she sobbed into Ferio's black jacket. She trembled as she cried and all Ferio knew to do was rub her back and tell her he loves her.

"I love you Fuu-chan," Ferio whispered.

Fuu just sniffed but Ferio knew what her answer was. He hated seeing her sad, but there was nothing he could do to change it, it was just one of those things he couldn't change.

"Brittany's not coming back," Fuu sobbed. "It's not fair...."

Ferio nuzzled Fuu's neck, "I know it's not..." He thought for a moment and then added, "you can beat this cancer for the both of you, if you ever feel like giving up remember all the other people who are in your situation."

Ferio clutched his jacket in her hands and looked up at him with teary eyes. "You're so wise, even wiser than me. How did you manage that?" She gave him a quick smiled and then rested her head on him.

That evening Ferio was over for dinner at Fuu's house, which wasn't unusual at all any more.

"Do you live here?" Kuu teased.

Ferio laughed. "I go home at night," Ferio replied.

Kuu raised an eye brow, "not all the time though."

Fuu sighed and pushed her food around on the table. Peas spilled over the edge and Fuu didn't seem to see. The mashed potatoes fallowed and that was when Fuu's mother spoke.

"Fuu, honey, are you ok?" Her mom asked.

Fuu shook her head. "No, I miss Brittany, but more importantly, my head hurts, and I'm tired."

"The chemotherapy isn't working," Fuu's mother replied. "It's only hurting you."

Fuu's eyes rose from her plate and she gave her mom a hurt look. "But there's nothing else that can help!"

"That's right, my dear Fuu-chan, nothing *can* help." Her mom said softly.

"I don't understand," Ferio said suddenly. "What are you saying?"

"Nothing can help Fuu-chan, but stopping the chemotherapy will at least help with some of the problems." Her dad explained as her mother seemed to choked up to speak.

"But if I stop....." Fuu began, but that was when it hit her right in the face like a wet mattress.

Everyone was silent at the table for about five to six minutes.

"You're saying that Fuu's gonna die." Ferio said as much angry as he was sad.

"Yes. Fuu's body can't fight off the cancer, and the chemotherapy can't help." Her father said as he too now had to hold back tears.

"You're wrong," Ferio snapped.

"Ferio-chan, don't start something, not now," Fuu said as she bravely held back her hot glistening tears.

"Fuu-chan can't die, she's gonna beat this. She's gonna be ok. You have to believe me!" Ferio said as he angrily pounded his clenched fists on the table.

"Ferio," Fuu's mother began.

"No dammit!" Ferio raged as he swept his plate off the table and watched it smash against the hard wood floor.

He then stormed off and out onto the porch. He sat on the swing and burst into tears. He was wailing like he hadn't since he was two years old. And at the moment he didn't give a damn who saw or heard.

He dropped onto his knees. "God- I have asked for *so* little. But right now I need to ask you not to take my Fuu-chan from me. She is my life! I'll never ask for anything else, but please don't take Fuu-chan." Ferio prayed out loud.

Fuu had listened while in the door way in the blue light of the night. She rapped her arms around herself as hot tears raced down her cheeks. More for Ferio than for herself.

Ferio sat down again and closed his eyes. Fuu walked over and sat down next too him. She leaned her head up against him and she took his hand. He opened his eyes.

"Oh Fuu-chan...."

Ferio caressed her face, wiping her tears away only to have more slide down her cheeks.

"How can I even begin to imagine life without you?" Ferio whispered.

"Do you regret having fallen in love with me?" Fuu asked softly.

"From the first time I looked into your eyes I knew I had found heaven. Who was to know it' would go like this? But Fuu-chan, I have no regrets I'm glad I fell in love with you. I wouldn't want to miss a moment of what we've had, and Fuu-chan, I would do it all again knowing what I know now. I love you that much." Ferio gushed.

Fuu smiled. "I love you so much. And I promise you, I'll keep fighting, I will."

Ferio pulled her close. "We won't ever get married." Ferio said suddenly and then wished he hadn't.

"Yes we will," Fuu replied. "we'll go to Italy on our honeymoon. Alone, together, all alone... We'll get an apartment, a small one. And you and I will be busy working, so that we can get a house. But the weekends will be just for the two of us, alone being lazy and in love. When we get our house you and I will decorate it however we want. And we'll have dinner at home mostly, but we'll have romantic dinners. Because you and I are going to need every penny we make when the kids start coming. I plan to stay home with them until they're old enough for school."

As Fuu said all this it tore him apart, not just a quick pull, but a twisting stab of pain with each word she spoke. The life she spoke of was never to be. Her dreams were just that- dreams. Tears filled Ferio's eyes and he tightened his grip on Fuu's hand.

"You know we can't live like that. You know we can't. Why do you torture yourself and me with dreams that can't come true?" Ferio said as he tried his best not to let the flood of tears rain down.

"Because I want to at least live our life in my dreams." Fuu replied. "And please Ferio, don't cry, don't cry for me."

Ferio took Fuu's hand. "Fuu-chan, I know we can't get married when we're older.... So, will you marry me now? While we've still got time and you've still got energy?"

"Yes, as long as our parents consent to it." Fuu replied. "I'd love to marry you now, as soon as possible."

"Then I'll ask your parents tonight, and by this time next week you and I will be husband and wife." Ferio replied. "I promise."