Chapter Six

Honor’s Disgrace

 

“Jed?”

            He simply seemed to be staring out into space now, and Serena

approached him, taking his shoulders in her hands, gently massaging life

back into him.

            Jed shrugged off her touch, still in awe.

            Raye, was she really in his presence only a few minutes ago?

            And now, taken from him…he felt a punch in his stomach as he

thought of the evil, defiling her mind, taking her away.

            He should have fought harder.  It was his duty to fight for her, and

he had let her down.  He had let himself down.

            And the worst of it all, seeing her face when she uttered those last

words.  *Don’t you understand?  I would die for you!*

            She had loved him.

            Why hadn’t he seen it earlier?

            Perhaps because he was selfish enough to believe only what he

thought.

            He never noticed how her voice seemed to lace his thoughts, how

her face seemed to be in the corner of his eye.

            It felt like she was still around him.

            He could swear her fragrance was still in the air.

            He looked down into his hands…hands that had been, only

moments before, caressing her hair, as she uttered those final words.

            *Don’t you understand?   I would die for you!*

            This couldn’t be happening.  Not to the spirited princess he had

been protecting.  No, the evil could not break her.  She was too untamed. 

Her whole spirit could not be chained.  She could not be prevailed upon. 

Raye was strong.

            It was Raye who had, in the end, protected to her last breath.

            The girl he had always suspected of being a fluff had more

substance, more grit, and more determination than he had ever tried to

imagine, since first meeting her.  The depth of her soul, her beliefs, and

her feelings were unfathomable.

            And now, she was gone.

            Because of him.

            *Don’t you understand?  I would die for you!*

            He threw himself into this trap.  He had deliberately turned his

back on her, when she was most needy of his help.  This woman, whom he

should have trusted, because she put so much of her own trust, unfailingly,

in him.

            The pain in remembrance.  That gaze, as she looked at him,

without a scold, without regret for having taken the blows for him.  The

expression carried nothing but pain in her eyes.  Pain, and that hot feeling

boiling inside of her, which he now recognized as love.

            She loved him.

            She loved him beyond all his mistakes.  She loved him so much

that when she looked at him she did not look at him with hatred for having

abandoned her.  The guilt, and the anger at himself, for not trusting her in

the first place…

            He had failed a test of the feelings he had for her.

            When she had deliberately told him to not go away to find Zoy, he

had felt anger.  When he had seen her come to save him from his trap, he

felt a fear for her life, and an anger at her stupidity, as well as a relief to

know that she had not yet been broken.  When he had seen her fight for

him, and fall, he felt an anger at himself.  And a confusion for what she

was giving up, just for him.  He, who didn’t deserve such attentions right

now, after the way he had acted.

            And now, after the fires and battle, he could only feel an anger for

not trusting her.  He could only feel that emptiness inside a part of him

that he had not known existed.  It hurt.

            It was love.

            He loved her.

            That look in her eyes, that last look, before she succumbed told

him that he couldn’t even begin to understand her feelings.  That he

couldn’t comprehend their depth.  That he was ignorant of all.

            And he had let her go, watching her, with a pain that was now

unsheathed as LOVE?

            *Don’t you understand?  I would die for you!*

            He had let her go without letting her know what he felt.  She had

left before he had a chance to show her, or tell her, or even realize it.  He

had let her go, thinking that she’d go to a strange place, without his care,

concern, regret, and most of all, love.

            His eyes were stinging.  As he closed them and rubbed them

harshly, he realized he was crying.  He stood up, and pushed away from

Serena, looking up at the skies.  “I loved her!  Damn it!  Why?”

            “Why?”

            *Why?*

 

            “What has happened to you?” she cried to the man with the dark

eyes.

            “A mere enhancement of character.”

            “Character?  You look like a ghost!” Raye’s body was now warm

and healthy.  She felt herself being cured.  But her health was not as

wonderful as she thought it would be, for she could feel her body being

healed by dark powers, and every dark power was starting to run through

her, taking her into the depth of a dark incomprehensible world.  “Please,

Zoy, I know you’re in there.  Let me go!”

            Zoy laughed.  “I don’t think so.  Mistress Beryl has many plans for

you, your highness.”

            “What do you want with me?” Raye cried, feeling her soul shake.

            “Oh, your cooperation.  Think of it, Raye.  Thousands of people,

bowing to our queen, and if you act right, then you could be in a position

of high power.”

            Raye narrowed her eyes at Zoy, “What happened to you?  What

happened to Zoy?  The man who loved Amy?  The man whom Amy

loved?”

            Zoy grimaced, and looked away.  “That man is no more.  That man

had a weakness, which he could have paid for with his life.  But now, this

Zoy is stronger, more disciplined, even wiser.  Love is a weakness, Your

highness, remember that, and you will serve Beryl well.”

            “I’ll never serve her,” Raye spat.

            “Oh yes, you will…” A dark voice started to take her mind, and

black night started to take her sight.

 

            Kunz looked at Neph over Jed’s shaking figure.

            Serena stood in a corner.

            They both put a hand to Jed’s shoulders, and tried to console him.

            But Jed didn’t want other people to try to tell him that they

“understood”.  They did not know what it was like to let go of a person,

perhaps forever, without telling them, or showing them at least once that

they cared.  And they did not know what it was like, to see those eyes,

staring up at him in frustration, conveying a message that was

incomprehensible until it was too late.

            He didn’t even know that he loved her, until that moment!

            Those eyes…they haunted his vision.  And he felt the cold and

dark clash into his heart, stealing away his life.

            Serena looked at the two men, and gestured to them.  *I think we

should be out in the hall right now.*

            Kunz and Neph looked at Jed, and looked at Serena.  They nodded,

and sadly followed.

            Jed hadn’t noticed.

            He was still seeing her.

            Hearing her laugh…

            *Jed…* A velvet sound on soft lips…whispered in the wind…

            “Raye…” a whisper which lay on the wind like silk, but tore into

his heart like a disease.  He should have realized, he should have known,

but he didn’t, and in the end, neither did she.

            And gently, he heard her slightly above the wind, clear, true.  *I

know.*

He looked up to see a shadow vanish behind the curtains.  As he

quickly got up and went around the corner of the balcony, he couldn’t see

anything, or anyone.

            All that remained was an old volume of Shakespeare’s sonnets,

with a single wet tear on the leather cover.

 

            Across the gardens, she looked longingly at him.  Her eyes were

dark, but there was a deep sparkle in their depths…of longing.

            So he loved her.  She had always known, she had reasoned, but

now…he was fully aware of his own feelings…

            But what could it mean to her now?

            There was a sting in her heart, to know of his feelings, now that

she was gone from him…but the regret soon vanished, as the feeling of

sadness, the memory of his warmth, his care, his security fluttered away

with the night wind. She felt it dying inside her, and tears were falling

through her like rain.  She would never forget her love for him, she

couldn’t.

            *You can…* the dark voice replied.

            The foolish sentimentality she had for this foolish young man

would disappear, she told herself.  After all, he was foolish enough to just

walk away, and assume she’d be all right by herself.  Fool.  She felt

betrayal.

            But then again…she would have never discovered the true power

of the Black Flame.

            She would never have discovered the true infinity of powers the

dark kingdom possessed.

            She turned away from her view of him, and disappeared into the

forest.  She told herself that she wouldn’t turn back from then on, never

again.

 

            “Serena…”

            “Your highness,” Serena curtsied.  She tried to remain formal, but

Merlyn wouldn’t let her.

            Merlyn stepped from behind her desk to hold the girl in her arms.

Raye’s cherished friend, Merlyn’s own daughter by mind and spirit.  She

ate the girl up with devouring eyes, worriedly taking in Serena’s pallor,

her turbulent, sad eyes, and her thin lips, which were in a line of

determination.  How much of her own ward existed in this girl?  Oh, Raye

had become her daughter, in the years she had raised her.  “I’ve missed

you.”

            “I’ve missed you too…” Serena said, slowly, taking in the warmth

of another human being.  “And…”

            “Raye…oh my sweet darling little girl…” Merlyn sobbed.

            “I love her too…and Your Highness, we’ll get her back.  I swear

it,” Serena promised into Merlyn’s long hair, as tears started to jewel it

lightly with clear beads of saline liquid.

            “She…was never mine, you know…she’s not even my blood,

but…oh, how I loved her!”

            Serena gently placed her head on the Queen’s shoulder, as they

stood for a moment in an embrace of security.

            Merlyn stood back in the embrace.  “Darien’s been taking it badly. 

When he heard that you were back, well…Serena, why won’t you see

him?  He needs you…so much…”

            “I can’t…” Serena murmured, looking out the window.  *Not

when he’s going to marry my friend.*

            “Why can’t you?  It’s tearing him apart, Serena.”

            “Duty.  I can’t.” Serena remained adamant.

            “Duty?  As a guard, maybe not; but as a friend, as someone…even

more dear to him than a friend, it is your duty to see him, to be there for

him, especially when he needs you.”

            Inside, she was cringing with pain.  But she held herself up.  Her

knees were trembling, but she locked them as she heard her heart

pounding in her head.  She wanted to shake her head of all these thoughts. 

These ghosts.  She had to banish them from her mind.  She clenched her

fist, until she felt nails biting harshly into her skin.  “I can’t see him.  It’s a

duty to myself,” Serena coldly replied.

            Merlyn frowned, and took Serena’s shoulders, gently massaging

the tense, stiff muscles.  They stiffened more, and Serena walked away

from Merlyn’s hands.  “Duty to yourself, what are you talking about?”

            “I just can’t see him,” Serena turned to Merlyn, showing Merlyn

her eyes.  Her begging eyes, wide eyes.  Haunted eyes.  She had tried to

mask everything…but Merlyn could see them: honest, clear, blue, true. 

“You love him.  Why won’t you see him?” the queen asked, her

own eyes begging.

            “Because I love him…” Serena replied steely.  Her resolve was

threatening to crumble, so quickly from the actions of this woman she had

admired so much but now feared for the keen perception she possessed. 

“Merlyn, I’ve come on a mission.  This mission is going to change many

things, and will depend heavily upon duty and honor.  You have to respect

it as I tell you.”

 

            Darien stared at the walls of his sister’s room, taking in the scents,

and taking in her whole soul.

            He could feel it lingering about.

            He wasn’t even supposed to care so much about her; she wasn’t

even his sister.

            But not everyone knew that.

            He loved her.  The laugh, the special way she used to tease him,

and let him tease her.  Her romantic antics.  Her smile.  Her hugs,

whenever he needed support.  Her generous heart.  Her support.  Her

strength.

            She was gone now.

            He couldn’t imagine it.  How could she be?

            He still felt, that at this moment, she’d burst into the room, tell one

of those silly fairy tales, and tease him about Serena.

            His heart clenched.  Where was Raye?  Where was she now?

            She could be…

            She could be…

            No!  He had to believe that she was still alive, fighting somewhere.

            *Fight, Raye…*

 

            “So, you think a marriage is the most logical union?” Merlyn

asked, skeptically.  Her eyes revealed her upset heart, although her

composure was serene.

Serena’s throat hurt.  She was holding back frustrated screams. 

Her eyes stung.  Her face was pale.  Serena hated herself for this, but

ploughed on, with the speech she had prepared and rehearsed so many

times before.

            “Why not?  By uniting the kingdoms, the families could be

together, and we could protect each other.  Selene once told me that the

courts of many of the planets in their systems married noble blood of the

moons of their system.  It keeps strength and unity.”

            Merlyn sighed.  “But, Serena…well, Darien-”

            “Darien has always known the demands of the crown.  Hasn’t he

always preached the necessity of duty?” she smiled, sadly.  “He must

understand that this is for the best…”

      “And what about you?”

            She turned to Merlyn, and sighed.  “Duty before Self.”

            “Do you know that there was never a time when you two weren’t

destined for each other?  That there was never a time when hehe didn’t

love you, even unwittingly?” Merlyn asked her.

            Serena turned away.  She didn’t want to hear this.  It was never

meant to be this way.  She should never have heard these words.  But they

were false…she told herself.  This was his mother.  The only person who

truly knew how Darien felt was Darien, and she was NOT going to stay

around to find out.  “It’s not so.  Not important.  Not now.  He just thinks

it.  It’ll heal.  Such things aren’t carved in destiny…there…is no

destiny…” she stumbled on, helplessly.  “Mina will be a good wife.  She’s

easier to get along with.” She tried again to rationalize, starting to pace.

            “He doesn’t need a companion, Serena.  He needs a soul mate. 

Someone that understands the deepest parts of him, and respects him.  He

doesn’t need conversation topics; he needs that kind of communication

where an eyelock is just enough.  I just don’t see how I can do this to my

son!”

            “But what else can you do, Merlyn?  With all the recent attacks, I

strongly advise you to think this through.  By going to the moon, you have

the services of the Guards on the Moon, and…”

            “And you can protect us as well…” Merlyn looked at Serena,

knowing fully that this was the reason.

            “I just want him alive,” Serena whispered.

            “Yes, but is it enough?” Merlyn asked, softly.

            Serena’s tears were now stinging her eyes, and finally spilled over. 

“Yes, it is.” She tried to say, but choked on the words.  “This was my idea,

Merlyn.  Don’t think you can convince me not to follow through.  Feelings

mean nothing now.  It’s only practicality.  Please, don’t think as a mother

right now; the kingdom needs its queen.”

 

            She came into the room silently, her golden hair drifting at her

shoulders.  She felt the sleepy distress in the air…She could have felt it

from the moon.  She already had.

            He was sleeping in his sister’s bed.  Her blue eyes filled with tears

as she saw his thin, worn face, worn from stress and sleeplessness.  His

eyes were pinned closed, mouth scrunched into scowl.  There was a

canyon of worry at his forehead, tossed among ruffled hair.

            She approached the bed.

            He was still the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

            She gently touched her cold hand to his warm forehead, and

smoothed the hair back, caressing the worry away, as she heard him gently

sigh… “Serena…” he groaned.

            She jumped back.

            He simply turned from his side onto his back, showing full face

into moonlight.  Serena caught her breath in a painful silent gasp for air.

            She knelt down by the bed.  His silhouette contrasted the pale

moon behind the windows, far away, and yet…she could feel it

constricting her lungs, heart, her whole being.  *Why?*

            She looked at him again, and reached out once more to touch his

cheeks, and traced the paths of dried salt, paved from his eyes.  The jaw

was still firm, and decided, clenched.

            “Goodbye.”

            She gently got up, and dared to touch her soft her fingers to her

lips, pressing them softly to his lips, tucking a velvet pouch in his hand,

before she vanished into the darkness once more.

 

            There was a kiss.

            An angel?

            Serena?

            He could have sworn that while he slept in his sister’s room,

dreaming about Serena, he had felt her gently touch his brow, and bid him

farewell.

            When he woke, there was a ghost of honey on his lips.  Serena.

            In his hand, he held a velvet pouch; inside, he found his

handkerchiefs, each stitched with his royal emblem.

            He jumped up to look about the room for her, but he not only could

see no one, but he felt it…the lingering Serena scent…and the cold air of

aloneness.  He looked at the pouch, and wrinkled it in a tight grasp, and

turned to the moon, angrily, staring at his competitor.

            His breathing was heavy as he continued to simply stare.  His heart

pounded, and his muscles ached.  But he did not quiver as he muttered a

curse to the skies, and turned away, to stalk through the palace.

           

            “She’s already gone?”

            “Darien, she’s one of Mina’s guards.  She has to protect her.  You

must understand that,” Neph tried to explain.  Neph felt Darien’s anger. 

He tried to understand.  But he was divided between the happiness of his

prince, whom he had grown to care for as well as protect, and Serena, the

girl who had always deserved to find a heart that beat as passionate a

rhythm as her own.  They were perfection together.  And apart, they

were…

            Broken.  He looked at Darien.

            His face was in his hands.

            A few hours ago, she was in the palace.  He hadn’t even known. 

He wasn’t even aware that Serena had saved Jed at the last minute.  Before

he only knew grief.  Now, he knew pain, and anger.  *She couldn’t even

see me?*

            “She’s worried about her court…” Neph tried to explain, reaching

for reasons.

            *Yes, it’s always duty, isn’t it?*

            Darien turned to the window, not knowing that his friend could see

the emotion, and hurt, so obvious in his eyes.  He then turned back, and

quietly looked at them.  “Why did she come here?”

            He needed to know the reason.  Why had she come, to only

disappear once more into the mess of obscurities?  What was happening? 

Why hadn’t she come to see him?  Why hadn’t he found her now, kissed

her, and made her promise never to leave him again?

            Stares were bantered back and forth between Kunz and Neph as

they tried to decide what to tell Darien.  While the queen was secretive

about Serena’s mission, they had both acquired information from a

trembling, pale Serena.  However, it was not set yet, nor would it be until

Merlyn told her son herself, and the voyage to the moon was made.

            Jed was somewhere about the gardens, uttering sad verse that

sounded suspiciously of Shakespeare.  He was cold and very much like

Lady Amy was.  Only he looked worse, contrasting with his seemingly

eternally charming sparkle from before.

      Kunz was torn.  He wanted to be with Mina, to protect her from

true danger, but what if Beryl caused him to attack her next time? 

However, the need to see her, to see those understanding eyes, and feel

that warm, comforting gaze…He looked out the window.  She wouldn’t be

his to protect, would she?  She’d be Darien’s.

            Looking at Darien’s shadowed, distressed eyes, Kunz could not

find the heart to tell him that Serena had come to promise him to someone

else. 

            Why did duty have to go before self?  Neph shook his head.

 

            “Mother?”

            Merlyn turned from the endless wall of books in the candlelit

library to her son, who begged her for answers, just with the look in his

eyes.

            “Darien…” she walked to her son, and held him close for a

moment, savoring the feel of another person’s warmth.  Her child, in her

arms.  Her other child was out there…She held Darien tighter, who

returned her hug.

            Mother and son had not had a moment alone together since Raye’s

disappearance.  And now, days later, the grief came.

            Overcome by tears, Merlyn heaved with sobs, clinging to her son. 

“Oh my child, my child…” she said, gently caressing his hair, looking at

the way his ears curved, the small hint of a scar at the corner of his lip

where a girl had punched him years before.  She dived into his eyes, and

sought to know every corner of her son’s enigmatic mind.  She fought to

understand, to accept as she simply traced his jaw shape.  Darien could

feel her trying to find Raye within him.

            She didn’t look like either of them, but Raye possessed a part of

his soul, and at this moment, his mother found it, as she snatched it,

holding it close.  “I miss her so much!”

            Merlyn had not seen how much she love Raye until that moment

when Serena came back with the news that Raye had been taken to the

dark side.  Her pure, romantic daughter, caught in the intricate web of

darkness… Would she be able to find her way out?

            Darien simply held his mother, as he tried to accept it, but he

couldn’t.  “She’ll fight, mother.”

            “Yes, she will…” Merlyn sniffed.  “Darien, I’m so happy you are

still here.  I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

            “Serena helped you through some, didn’t she?”

            Merlyn felt that desperation in his voice.  The anxiety.  “Yes,

Serena was here to help me through this…”

            “It was lucky that she was there in the nick of time to save Jed.  At

least he is still safe, and with us.”

            “Yes…” Merlyn trailed off, remembering Serena’s proposal.

            “Why did she come, mother?” he pushed himself back in her

embrace to look into her now guilty eyes.

            Merlyn played with his sleeve, and mumbled.  “She came to

propose something to me, and as of yet, I do not want to discuss it.  There

are still some things to consider.”

            “What is it?”

            “A plan; her plan to protect the kingdoms.”

            “What is it?” he demanded again.

            “Darien, I have to decide this first.”

            “I’m your heir.  If this decision will affect the kingdom, I want to

know.  Why don’t you want to tell me?”

            *Because it’d break your heart.*  “I still have to think this

through.”

            “No!” Darien looked at her, frustration in his eyes.  “Everything’s

been tossed out of my hands.  My sister just vanished.  The force that took

her stole one of my best friends.  The other three are mourning.  My

kingdom’s out of order.  My mother’s starting to decide things by herself. 

Most importantly, the love of my life just came by without even looking at

me.”

            “She couldn’t!”  Merlyn cried out.  “She can’t.  It’d hurt her too

much.”

            “What do you mean?  I love her.  She’s now a whole dimension

away, on that moon.  What am I going to do to hurt her that hasn’t hurt me

already?  What am I going to do to hurt her when seeing pain in her eyes

torments me more than the slowest death?”

            “Don’t you see?  She came here to give you away!” Merlyn cried. 

“She came to propose you to marry Minalle!”

 

            Hurt.

            The slashing of his heart, as he felt it fall from himself, to his feet.

            This girl he had loved, so blindly, had just grabbed his heart, and

cast it away.

            What was he doing?  Why had he even thought that she’d even be

human enough to fall in love?

            That vulnerable girl, who was scared of the future… Where was

she?  That girl.  So distant, so vague a memory.  And now, he was left

alone, with a shattered heart, and broken mind.

            What was he going to do now?

            How he had fought this stupid emotion, only to be spurned.  Why

him?  He had fought so hard in life to distance from the girls that

wandered into his life.  And Serena Kingston, form the first moment, gave

him the very reason why: the girl was impossible.  She was everything he

did not want to love.  She was everything he ever wanted, gone wrong. 

From that first moment, when her fist connected with his lip, he’d seen her

with ridicule, with a sneer.  When had he fallen in love with her?

            It was in that moment, when her angry, passionate eyes shot him

down, as her elegant hands curled up into a hammering fist at his lip.

            He loved her from the moment he saw her.

            The beauty was not evident.  At least, the beauty of her face

wasn’t.  But he admitted, that first instant, when he looked at her, the

passion, the excitement, the whole aura of raw LIFE in her, intrigued him. 

He had been relieved that his mother had sent her away, but when word

got out she was coming back, his heart had clenched, and he had walked

the halls apprehensively, hoping to see and avoid her at the same time.

            And then he had seen her…

            And then he opened his eyes, and heart to her…

            And she had just tossed that back in his face.

            What kind of person was Serena Kingston, who’d heartlessly

spurned his feelings?

            *But then again,* his heart did whisper, *she never really spurned

you.  You never offered her anything.*

            *BUT SHE KNEW ME!*

            *She was doing what was best.*

            The battle threw his mind in havoc.  He just had to see her.

            But there was a vise around him, whispering the word, “duty…”

 

            “I’ve decided that the engagement is a good idea.”

      Merlyn turned to Darien.  Her hair glinted a light silver at her

temples, and her eyes were light and ghostly.  Her face looked worn, and

stress had taken color and health from her.  Darien felt revulsion; not

towards his mother, but at the force that had taken his mother.  He looked

out the window, imagining Raye, who was somewhere out there.  Who

knew?  Would she end being one of Beryl’s pawns?  Like Zoy?  Zoy

couldn’t really be evil, could he?

            Darien had been silent these past days, and Merlyn did not force

him to divulge any of his thoughts.  He needed time.

            And now…

            Was she happy that he had decided the safest way, for his

kingdom?  Or was she disappointed that he wasn’t going to fight for the

girl he loved?  For happiness?  He’d be all right with Mina, but, really,

when it mattered, Darien needed the spirit, vivacity, contrariness of

Serena.

            Disappointment.  The sting in her eyes.  Oh, her beautiful son, her

only child left, now giving himself to duty.  She felt anger at the world, for

taking her two children away.

            Darien couldn’t face her, because out of the corner of his eye, she

looked just as he thought she would when he told her.  The calm,

diplomatic exterior, showing relief in his choice, but her eyes, a glittering

mess, begging him to be true to himself.

            But Serena didn’t want him, did she?  And his duty, wasn’t it

always a rule of propriety that he had to marry for his kingdom, and not

for himself?

            Never in his life did he have to face the decision of propriety

against his own wishes.  He’d always believed his goals and propriety

went hand in hand.  Now, at this moment, when acting like a prince would

take away every single cell in his heart, he couldn’t decide.

            He never realized being prince would be so dreadful a decision. 

He never regretted it more than he did now.

            And if he knew that Serena loved him…

            But she didn’t.  She had arranged the match herself.  Again, the

image of her golden hair, gently caressing her beautiful ivory face…the

expressive ocean eyes…they faded, into a dark sadness as his heart started

to pound.  He shook his head, and looked at his mother.

“When do we make it known?”

 

            “So, he’s going to wed the moon princess,” Kunz asked placidly. 

His voice was smooth, cool; a contradiction to the turmoil and distress he

felt within.

            Mina.  Beautiful, delightful Mina.  A person whom he’d come to

admire, and respect.  The thought of seeing her with his prince…he knew

strategically, it would be an excellent match.  The powers of two

kingdoms, united in one alliance, secured with matrimony…

            But inside, he couldn’t see Mina with Darien.  Throughout the

whole time he had seen Darien being pushed to Mina, and Mina being

pushed to Darien, he’d always reminded himself that Mina would never let

such a union occur, simply for the reason that she didn’t love Darien. 

Also, she was always…so…so not Darien’s type.

            He’d always felt a protectiveness for the golden-haired beauty

from the moon.  She’d touched a part of him that was rarely evident. 

She’d moved him to think beyond the levels that he was accustomed to. 

To hear that this sweet, idealistic young woman was about to marry for

anything less than love bothered him.

            It worried him.  Would she live to her honor, and do the right

thing?

            However much he…cared…for her, it did not matter now, did it? 

What mattered was the match.  The inexorable match.  She HAD to go

through with this.  He had always hoped that she would somehow not have

to face the realities of life this way…but now, when faced, he hoped that

she would realize that in such a world, trying to find love was as useless.

            He pounded his fist on his desk, not being about to concentrate as

Neph continued to polish his boots.

            “Yeah, it’s true.  Darien agreed just yesterday afternoon.  I can’t

say he looks the part, though.”

            “I don’t think anyone’s really happy right now,” Kunz sighed.

            “What about…” Neph began, then paused.  “Forget it.”

            Kunz looked up at his friend.  “What about me?” he asked, as if

reading Neph’s mind.  “What ABOUT me?”

            “Well, I thought maybe you and Mina were, you know…” Neph

trailed off.  At the darkening of Kunz’s eye he paused, then proceeded to

babble.  “Well, I know it’s your business, but…well…” he said

awkwardly.

            “There’s nothing between me and the moon princess…” Kunz said

firmly, looking back at his papers, fighting to concentrate.  “Nothing,” he

whispered, as he felt emotions flood through, ripping apart that word. 

“Nothing.”

 

            The hours seemed longer now.

            Maybe because they were so sad.

            Amy sighed as she looked up from her sketchbook, giving a

cursory glance to the royal gardens of the Moon Crystal Palace.  Even the

plants seemed to bow in sadness.

            The air was blue.  It was heavy, and it reflected on everyone’s face.

            She took a knife from her bag, and sharpened her pencil.

            Mina was somewhere in the palace, in mourning.

            It had not been easy when Queen Serenity told her daughter of her

engagement to the prince of Earth.

            Mina had lost her voice, having been smothered in distress and

sadness.  She was silent, and yet, her mournful cries echoed throughout

the palace.

            It wasn’t that Darien was a jerk.  It was just that Mina didn’t love

Darien.

            And Amy was almost certain that she loved Kunz.

            But Kunz, as well as Mina, did not have a say in this matter.  It

was matter of existence, of peace, and of politics.  The cards had to be

dealt this way.

            The dark lead of her pencil gently shaped an eye, narrowed, and

reflecting nothingness.

            When the ambassador from Earth communicated the prince’s wish

to marry the princess, the news didn’t really fare well with anyone.  It was

a relief to Serenity, of course, because now both courts were protected.

            Serena was speechless.  She was emotionless.  She was lifeless. 

When she heard of Darien’s wishes, she lost her color, her vivacity, her

everything.  In the thin smile she carried, she had tried to convince the

court that she was all right with the arrangement, that she was perfectly

satisfied.

            But she did not succeed in fooling anyone.

            Amy knew that this idea was Serena’s in the first place, that it was

the best way to fight Beryl and Metalia.  And for this, Serena must have

been relieved to hear the prince agreed to this plan.

            But she also knew that the woman’s heart, not the diplomat’s, nor

the protector’s, was beating in fury.  How could he betray her?  After

everything they had suffered together…

            Amy sighed.  But at least they knew they’d all be safe, and they’d

all be together, if not together in the whole sense.

            Zoy was still out there…and to know that he had deliberately tried

to kill his friend, her friend…that he had taken away her princess of Earth,

or rather Mars…Amy was furious, sad, disappointed and happy at the

same time.

            Happy only that he was alive.  But after that, fury had taken over

most of her emotions.  *Zoy, how COULD you?*

            As she finished her sketch, she looked down mournfully the

emotionless, stoic man she had so carefully shaped onto paper, and angrily

tore the sheet out, and ripped it up, letting the scraps drift into the wind,

away from her.

 

            Mina was not talking to anyone.

            After all, they didn’t talk to her about this stupid matter in the first

place.  And now, without her consent, she was engaged to Darien.

            And when had she agreed to do this?

            Serena was somewhere, moping about, but then again, what was

worried about?  She wasn’t engaged to someone she didn’t love!

            Sure, Serena had been her friend since childhood, but she had

never seen Serena do such a stupid thing as to engage her friend to

someone else!

            Wasn’t it so obvious she didn’t want to get married?  At least, not

to Darien?

            She loved her friend, but right now…she clenched her fist until the

knuckles turned white.  She pounded her fist into the pillow as she swore

under her breath.

            If Serena hadn’t been in such a hurry to protect, she would have

stopped to realize that Mina would not agree to this!

            Her ex-friend was now somewhere in the palace, perhaps planning

away another part of HER life!

 

            The palace was under siege.

            The ironic thing was, Beryl smiled, she hadn’t done anything to

cause it.

            Slowly the minds of each person isolated itself, and if Beryl played

her cards right, she’d come out victorious.

            The blonde, Serena, was it?  Who started the whole complicated

mess…She was a tough woman; but still, she was prey to her feelings,

which she thought she hid so well.

            But Beryl had known differently.  She had seen Serena, sleepless

and frustrated at nights, unborn tears slowly forcing themselves in the

form of strenuous, exhausting exercise.

            The moon princess was slowly easing her way into Beryl’s

clutches, and totally unaware of it!  The anger she felt was such an easy

start to the depths of darkness, and Beryl gently cultivated the seed of

rebellion in the moon princess.  Soon enough…

            The blue-haired one was useless.  But at least she was useless to

Serenity’s flank as well.  Emotionless, soulless.  There was no anger in her

to prey on.  Her spirit was lost when Beryl had taken the man she loved

away.  Beryl smiled triumphantly.  Yes, that had been quite a success…

            And the Earth princess!  What luck!  Having this young woman, of

so much fire under her command.  Granted, she was so difficult to

manage; the girl had a fire the size of her planet.  The passion would be

excellent in combat, but only if it were tamed.  So far, Beryl had only been

able to leash some of the fire.  But soon enough, even the brightest flames

would be extinguished.

            Ah, yes…Life was excellent.  Soon…

 

            The shadows, lurking in her mind as she tried to fight through, to

find a voice.

            What was there to say, though?

            It was her fault that he had been taken.  Over and over, she could

see those eyes, telling her the message he had been trying to tell her this

whole past lifetime; they were meant to be.

            But now, he was gone…

            And he had fought, for Beryl.

            Threatened the life of Raye.

            Amy’s storm of thoughts locked her in struggle.  The happiness of

knowing he was alive, though she had felt it the whole time.  But the

physical proof…

            And the anger.  How could he attack Raye?  Take her?  Amy’s

face paled.  What would she have done?  She would have left Raye, she

knew it, just as Jed it.  No, she didn’t blame Jed at all.  She didn’t blame

anyone but herself.

            If she had only been stronger during that battle, to stand up to

Beryl…

            He’d still be with her.

            And that gap in her heart would not be so empty.  Right now, it

ached.

            Somewhere in the wind, though…she could still hear his

laugh…his good laugh…and a small plea:*Fight for it.*

 

            Her hair was silk in the night satin, as Artemis caught his breath. 

Her eyes reflected the sad night, as she turned at the sound of whispering

cloth.  “Artemis…”

            Did she know how much of him was hers?  That voice, musing,

caressing his ear, was all he wanted to hear right now.  “I—“

            “How—“

            They both stopped, each waiting for the other to finish their

sentence.  Luna’s heart was pounding.  Something in the air tonight…

            Artemis settled on the balcony rail with her, taking in the scent of

the night, the velvety perfume of Luna’s presence.  “I was saying that we

hadn’t seen each other lately…”

            “Well, you know, with the entrance of the new princess and her

court…” Luna trailed off, looking up at Artemis.  “What’s going to

happen?” She could feel cold; chilling, terrorizing cold…

            He put his hands on her arms, and lightly brushed up and down,

warming her, as he took her into his embrace.  “I don’t know…” he kissed

her forehead.

            “Artemis…this isn’t…”

            “Shh…just this moment.”

 

            The hugging shadows on the other side of the courtyard made her

heart sing in mournful cries.

            When was the last time she had been held like that?

            Serenity’s eyes welled up with tears, as she slid her finger under

her collar to take out a gold chain.  Hanging from it, a pendant, of the

purest mooncrystal glimmered.

            “Terrence…” she bit her lip, turning away from the eyes of the

stars, back into the loneliness of her room.  *I don’t know how much

longer I can live like this…*

 

            “Are you sure you can do this?” Merlyn asked her son, half-

wishing, and half-dreading he’d reply no.

            “Yes,” Darien said, stiffly, emotionlessly.

            *What has happened to you?*

            But instead of asking her question aloud, she turned to his three

guards, and nodded, as the walked out of the palace, ready to intercept

their escort to the Moon Kingdom.

 

            She had wanted to go, but she couldn’t.

            Serenity wanted her to go; she knew.  But she couldn’t.  No, she

couldn’t see him.

            Serena quietly stared out the window of her room, watching for his

figure at the horizon.

            She’d sent Luna instead, who went silently, without questions.

            Perhaps because she had already known the answers.

            And where was Mina?  Still hiding in her room?

            Serena felt a helpless anger.  At her friend, who did not want to

marry her prince and let things be.  Who didn’t understand.  At her prince,

who agreed to the match.  At herself, for recommending the idea.  At her

enemy, who caused so much pain in the first place.

            Lately, she had cursed her fate.  Why did SHE have to be the

moonlight maiden?  Why couldn’t she have just stayed at home, and

gotten married, and lived a happy life?  If this was her destiny, she didn’t

wish for it anymore.

            She had never felt this before.  The need to right her duty.  The

emptiness.  In her years of striving to be the castle guard, what had kept

her complete?  Because now, she was so empty.

            She had NEVER felt this way before.  She felt anger at herself for

even daring to consider the possibilities…

 

            Crimson lips were drawn in a thin line, as violent eyes flashed in

darkness.

            In the shadows, she watched him, as he looked around, mournfully,

angrily.

            She smiled slyly.  It would be soon enough.

            She’d get to him, use his feelings for her to destroy him, and his

liege.

            Deep inside, a well of heat rose, and struggled to break through the

ice in her mind.  NOOOO!

            She shook her head, as she tried to balance herself again.  What

was happening to her?  She turned to the woman at her side, scowling. 

“Why are you just letting them leave?”

            “Patience…” Beryl whispered to her newest and most eager

minion.  “Soon, you will have them in your hands…”

            The woman tossed her black hair back and laughed, as the tones of

passionate evil burned through the air.

 

            He thought he heard her laugh.

            But it wasn’t.

            Not that evil, low, shriek of the night.

            Jed turned once more to Luna Dimiantya, and her partner, Artemis

Trelyme.  The two were unfeeling, coarse, and simply stood.

            Were all Lunarians like this?

            Jed shifted uncomfortably on his feet.  She was OUT there!  He

could feel it!

            And now, he was just going to leave?

            He’d assured himself that Beryl, bringing HER along, would

follow them to the moon, and there, he’d be able to take his lady love back

again.

            He had to, or else he was lost.

            “Let us begin our journey…” Luna simply stated, looking at the

prince, smothering the anger out of her pale, clear eyes.  *If you only

knew how much you’ve made my friend suffer…*

            But as she looked at the sad, yet determined look on the prince’s

face, she could tell the hurt was not limited to Serena, nor was the blame

restricted to him.

            Luna’s black marble staff, with the crystal ball at the top, crossed

with Artemis’s white one, with its own crystal ball.  A glow of light…

            Luna led the way.

            The others followed.  Artemis skirted from behind.

            Darien turned once more back to the kingdom, which he would

only be ruling from a distance now.

            Would it be safe without immediate ruling?  Would it be safe

under the chancellor’s care?

            The moon was not too much a distance away, and it would still be

relatively easy to defend his kingdom from it…but still…

            Darien once again turned back forward, as he saw the black-haired,

blue-eyed Lunarian woman look at him with disappointment, and turn

away.

 

            “They’ve arrived!” A maid excitedly squealed as the trumpets

flourished the arrival of the Terran kingdom to the Lunarians.  Servants

rushed up and down the halls, the girls all searching for that one glimpse

of the handsome prince their princess would marry.

            Serena was hiding in her room, with the silk drapes pulled shut. 

She was still sitting right at the window seat, just a curtain away from

Darien.  Her heart pounded, as her hand fought her heart in a struggle to

tear the curtain open, to see him, to just see that he was safe, and alive.

            But she wouldn’t.

            She’d known he was here.  She had sensed it the moment he had

set his foot on her kingdom.

            How would she get through the next months, years?  Her life?

            Her LIFE?

            The ground vanished.  Her heart stopped.  She was giving up the

happiness of the rest of her life so that he could do his duty…so that she

could do hers…but…YES!  Of course it was worth it!  She retorted to

herself.  It was worth it…after all, the kingdoms would be safe.  But

would her heart?  YES.  It would.  She tried to convince herself, by saying

it over and over in her mind.  She was doing this out of concern for the

kingdom, and love…after all, it was better that he was alive, and that she

could protect him…even if it meant that they’d be eternally separated

from one another.

            Serena walked away from the window as she started to hear the

graceful greetings of Queen Serenity.

 

            She was…different.

            But then again, so was he.  Why wasn’t everything ever the same? 

Was it really just a few months ago that they were all in the Terran palace,

dancing and laughing?

            Mina looked so sick now.  As if she had not slept, had not eaten. 

Jed could only feel fury at Serena for doing this to Mina.  She looked as

bad as Kunz did, and as he peeked at his friend, who was avoiding her

eyes, turned away from her direction, back to her, he felt an urge to slap

his colleague.  How could he be so insensitive?

            Mina was no longer his sister, but he was still protective of her.  It

didn’t matter that she was a princess from another planet, for all he cared

about was the fact that this woman was as much a sister as he had ever

had, and that he loved her.

            He knew Serena was suffering; he was not blind to his own liege’s

pain.  Darien was mute, cold.  It was if he had lost his life sometime in the

last few days.

            He looked heartbroken, and Jed felt anger again for Serena.

            But then again, Darien had chosen this, so it was not entirely

Serena’s doing…

            Serenity greeted them formally, as Jed looked at his surroundings. 

Everything was elegantly pristine.  So ordered, and so beautiful…the

architecture…of glass domes, of glass pillars, or marble and diamond

floors.  The spires of the castle towers, he had read before, were out of

pure clear mooncrystal, and tipped with glimmering star gold.  The bricks

were out of moondust marble, and sparkled with small grains of diamond

melded in.

            And Mina was oblivious to it all.  Jed could see pain in her blue

eyes.  Mina was dressed so formally in a white silk toga, edged with gold

threads.  Her blond hair was pulled up in the royal style, and crowned with

golden roses.

            She didn’t look happy here, although she was surrounded by

heaven, although she was with her true mother.

            Her guards, Amy and Lita, stood by her side.  Amy looking warily

at the prince, and Lita, focused only on Neph, hiding her joy at seeing him

safe and here.  Serena was missing.

            It was fitting, but totally unlike her.  She was never a coward.

            But then again, had she ever been in love?

            Jed was almost positive that she had fallen for Darien, now.  With

all the hints that Merlyn had whispered, and all the gossip about a

mysterious golden locket Darien carried with him at all times…Serena, the

most heartless one of them all…in love?

            “Welcome to the moon.”

 

            “Thank you for meeting me on such short notice,” Serenity

gestured a seat opposite her desk to Merlyn.

            Merlyn took the seat, and looked across.  “Your concern?”

            Both knew that they wanted to speak out against the ceremony, but

both knew the importance of this engagement…this alliance.

            Serenity began carefully, wondering how she was going to suggest

this, when she didn’t really approve of the idea.  “As you know, it would

be very beneficial to have the ceremony as soon as possible…”

            Merlyn merely nodded, her protest locked in her throat.  She

WOULDN’T speak out against this.

            Serenity bit her tongue.  She had seen her daughter, furious at

everyone for even suggesting she marry for anything less than love.  But

she had also seen her ward mandate the only way to protect the kingdoms. 

It was the most horrible station she could put her daughter in, and Serenity

felt her heart sink every time she thought about it.

            *What kind of mother am I?*

            Serena had pleaded, begged not to be present in the ceremony of

the prince’s arrival, and she was still protesting to her presence at the

engagement ceremony, as well as the wedding.

            Serenity wanted to feel furious at Serena.  It would be the easiest

alternative.  But Serena was so…level-minded.  This was the only

way…unless Serena herself got married…but she was only a Terran in her

own eyes, never a Lunarian, as Serenity wanted her to think herself as. 

No, Serena said, in order for there to be an alliance, the prince of Earth

must marry a Lunarian.

            “In the tradition of the Lunar, an engagement ceremony takes place

on the night of the Full Earth, and the full Earth afterwards, the wedding

occurs.”

            “When’s the next full Earth?”

            “One week from now…” Serenity began.

            Merlyn winced, drawing in a quick breath.  “And the one after?”

            “Thirty days after that night.”

            They couldn’t afford thirty days.  Merlyn felt her heart pound as

she sealed her son’s happiness in a bottle to throw away.  “Then the

engagement ceremony will occur in one week.”

            Serenity merely nodded, as she felt her daughter’s heart breaking.

 

            One week?

            No, too soon!  Mina panicked as she struggled to bring herself to a

rational level.

            But anger so quickly came over.

            There was so much logic to the alliance, and yet…it still made no

sense!

            Mina felt her life closing in on her.  When was the last time she

had ever been able to breathe?  To feel whatever she wished?  To love

whomever she wished?  What happened?  Hadn’t she always wanted to

see her family?  Didn’t she trust Serena to make things right?  Serena was

always right, wasn’t she?

            NO!  This time, she was wrong.  Serena knew nothing of the

matters of the heart.  Serena had let rules and regulations get in the way of

the true rule of life; love.  Mina had to do something!  She had to buy

herself some time!  She had one week to come up with something, and

then she had thirty days to dispel all notions of the marriage.

 

            “I can’t do this.”

            She paced as she walked next to the leader of the Four.

            Kunz looked at the beautiful young princess at his side, and

felt…what he wanted to feel.  Nothing.

            He felt NOTHING.  He told himself again.

            Mina continued to pace, trying to make him see it her way.

            But he wouldn’t.

            Stubborn, foolish man!

            “Don’t you see?  It goes against everything!”

            “Except sanity,” he completed for her.

            She turned to him, angrily.  “What are you talking about?”

            “Honor, Mina.  Have a little honor.  Sure in the beginning, I was a

little doubtful of this whole thing, but you are royalty, Minalle.  A

princess, who has many subjects to consider.”  It was as he had told

himself from the moment that he started the journey here.  She was

royalty, and she had duties.  She had her family honor to uphold.

            Mina lost her fire and stopped, speechless.

            “Sure, I guess you do have a claim to love whoever you want,

but…”

            “But what, Kunz?”

            He felt something inside of him fall apart.  How could she be so

insensitive?  Thinking that she was so…

            Anger.  His pale face warmed.  “But you have a duty, your

highness.”

            “Duty?  I’d give it up in a second.”

      “But you can’t.” he persisted coldly.

            “I really thought you would understand.” She scoffed at herself.

            “I do understand.  I understand the situation, and you would too, if

you’d only open your eyes and see outside or your conceited self!” he

stormed away.

            “You are a disgrace, Mina.  To your whole family, to my

friendship, and to yourself.”

 

            “You do realize that you have to see him eventually.”

            “Yes, but not now.”

            “I’ve never said this to you before, but I’m going to say it now. 

Serena, you have to be the biggest fool there ever was!  You have to

confront this one.  You’ve never been afraid of anything!” Amy scolded.

            Luna quietly entered the room.  “What’s going on?”

            Mina stood in front of the window, angered and cool.  Lita sat

exasperated by Serena, and Amy was pacing the floor.  “We’re trying to

convince her to go to the engagement ceremony, but she’s determined not

to see HIM.  Of course, she’s not really saying that; she’s just saying that

she feels ill.”

            There was no question that Serena was trying to avoid Prince

Darien, and Luna sighed.  “Serena will be at the engagement ceremony.”

            Serena merely remained silent, but in her, a steel resolution was

already formed to stay away from the ceremony.

            *Six more days…* the three words permeated throughout the

minds of all who sat in the room.

 

            It seemed impossible that she give up her life for the goodness of

her country.

            She had adamantly pushed her belief in love, believing it to be the

strongest force of all humankind, to equal the elements of the Earth, such

as ice and fire and wind.

            But it had disappointed her.

            Mina felt nothing but bitterness.  A fool’s trap.  It was designed to

snag, and to strangle and to devastate.  There was no other way to describe

it.

            The sickening pain.  She needed to talk to him, only to know what

he thought of this…Kunz always knew.  Kunz always understood.  But

when she talked to him last…couldn’t he understand?

            No, the cold man was always preaching honor, duty, and that crap. 

He was too busy upholding his stupid idiotic morals.  Foolish, foolish

man.  She thought he was worthy of her trust.  She thought he was worthy

of…

            No, forget it.  He was too busy thinking himself above everything.

            And he was protecting his prince.

            Her future husband.

            Husband?  Bonded for life with a man she didn’t love?  NO!!!!! 

Mina had waited all her life to fall in love with the man who would win

her heart, and protect her, understand her, love her.  And she had not

found him yet.

            Instead, she was marrying a stranger!  Darien was a stranger!

            How could her mother agree to this?

 

            “How could you agree to this, Serenity?” Prima asked, slightly

angry, across the communication column.  “You defy the logic of love and

chose foolishly!”

            Serenity frowned.  “Prima, you’re only saying this because you

believe in true love.  It’s true: Mina doesn’t love Darien, but with time…”

            “I would NEVER allow my daughter to marry a man she didn’t

love!” Prima scolded.

      Serenity froze.  “Even if it meant the end of your daughter?”

            Prima’s angered, heated face faded into a pallor of ice.  “If my

daughter were to enter a loveless lock for the rest of her life, it IS her end.”

            Speechless, Serenity could not distinguish the feelings of her older

sister.  “She can’t just give up her throne.  She has a responsibility to the

kingdom!  She can’t just give it up for…”

            “For a foolish little fancy?” Prima completed quietly.  “Because

she can’t fall in love with the right man?”

            Serenity felt tears.  The right man.  A feeling of the past welled up

inside her.

            The wedding day, when Prima stood in white silk, smiling falsely,

as she prepared to marry Terrence…

            Only to refuse her crown, and force her sister Serenity to marry…

            And Prima, she had left, disowned by her family, only loved and

acknowledged still by Serenity.  Eventually, she redeemed herself by

falling in love and marrying the king of Venus, but to their last breath,

Serenity’s parents…

            And Serenity had eventually, fallen in love with her husband,

despite the circumstances.

            But of course, that wasn’t always the story.  And Prima felt guilty.

Prima had, in her struggle to go follow her heart, had put another in an

awkward position.

            Oh, what was to happen?

            “You’ll ruin her life,” Prima stated, coldly.

            “There will be no life if they don’t get married,” a calm, cold voice

interrupted the room.

            Serenity turned, and Prima started.  “Serenity?  Who is it?”

            “It’s my ward, Serena Kingston.”

            Serena approached the column, looking at the beautiful image of

Primavera, the queen of the Venusians.   “If they don’t marry, do you

know how many lives are at stake?  Do you know how many people, who

would have been in love, will die, never to meet their loved one, ever? 

Your majesty, one heart sacrificed is little compared to others!” she

turned, and ran out of the room, tears cutting through her voice.

            Primavera stood silent.  At length, she said quietly.  “It is true, at

the time of my marriage, and I did not have to worry about the fate of any

others…except…”

            Prima looked right at Serenity’s eyes, and though they were

separated by the extensive length of space, Serenity felt no less penetration

in her stare.

            “Mina…she has no sibling…Serenity…”

            “Yes?”

            “Did you hate me when I forced you to marry Terrence?  I know,

that I have been hypocritical…but…I just couldn’t, and you…”

            “I was young, immature…I did not know what love was going to

be…but Prima…I loved him…I loved him so, and he loved me, and we

are forever grateful to you…though…”

            “Though you did not at first agree…”

            “Yes…”

            Prima was silent.  “It was fortunate you DID fall in love…”

            “Yes…”

            “And, Mina…will she?”

            “I don’t know.”

            Silence.

            “Your ward.  Serena…” she lifted an eyebrow.

            “Yes, she loves him.”

            Prima’s eyes flamed.  “And she can’t marry him?”

            “She’s of Terran blood.  Not of our descent, and therefore declared

the marriage would be a sham if…”

            Prima nodded silently.  They looked at each other in silence. 

Serenity then quietly returned to the first question of the conversation. 

“So will you come to the engagement ceremony?”

            Primavera looked at her sister, and sighed.  “Yes, I will.”

 

            Amy sat straight and looked at herself carefully in the mirror, did

she look all right?  Nerves.  Pounding from head to toe.  Would She like

her?  She got up and started to pace.

            Back…forth…back…forth…

            A crinkle of worry marred her smooth face.

            Back…forth…back…forth…

            “Amy!”

            The door was thrown open, and a gasping Serena signaled out of

breath what Amy had been waiting for all afternoon.  Amy nodded quietly,

and found her feet could not move.

            Serena looked at her.  “Go for it.”

            Amy pushed her feet mentally, and took an awkward step, and then

another…until she was running to the palace gate, to greet her mother.

 

            Lita looked around her to hear Amy’s soft pattering footsteps

approach her.  Amy stopped next to her, and they smiled nervously to each

other.

            Oh, Lita hoped she liked her.

            The whole idea of having her mother come had kept her distracted

for days on end.  She refused to see Neph altogether, being so sick with

nervousness.  Setting her teeth, and curling her long, elegant fingers into a

fist, she closed her eyes, and counted to ten, breathing in and out slowly,

trying to breath out the tension in her body.

            Slowly, she opened her eyes, and let her mind slowly focus on

where she was.  Calm, she closed her eyes again, only to open them,

startled, when Amy let out a gasp beside her and started to run.  Lita

opened her eyes quickly, to see Amy running quickly to a woman that

could only be Amy’s mother.

            And next to Amy’s mother, nervous, and happy, was Lita’s own

mother who approached her as Lita approached Her.  Staning only a few

feet apart, her mother softy said, “Hello, my Beautiful girl…”

            Lita felt tears.  Her mother thought she was beautiful!  She felt her

mother’s hand caress her cheek, slowly, to make sure she was real, and

immediately, Lita threw herself in her mother’s arms, and cried joyfully.

 

            A pale face was watching them with glowing, lonely blue eyes. 

She had done her best to avoid him, and hid in her room.  But as she saw

person after person meet with people they loved, and find happiness, she

felt more discontent.

            She was happy for them, but…

            She missed her own mother…

            Serenity had been a comfort, but lately, Mina needed her more. 

Serenity spent hours with her daughter, assuring her of the necessity of the

match, that her marriage was very important.

            Serenity didn’t pretend with Mina that she loved Darien.

            And Serenity didn’t pretend with Serena that she didn’t love

Darien.

            Serenity was saddened by Serena’s apparent…cowardice?  She

wanted Serena to confront him.  But she couldn’t.

            Not until he was engaged, at least…only in four days.  And soon,

he’d be married.

            Married?  Lost to her, forever?  Always to feel this emptiness, this

ache?  She wanted to know; did he love her?

            But…no!  It would hurt her.  It would go beyond hurt.  It would

devastate and demolish her whole sense of will if Darien told her he loved

her, that hers was not the only heart being demolished in the process.

            If he loved her…

            IF he loved her…

            Serena laughed bitingly to herself.  Darien didn’t love her, though.

            He didn’t love, right?

            She tried to believe.

            For a moment, she did.

            She closed her eyes, as a tear tricked quietly down her cheek.

 

            Prima watched the events with a distance, physically, and

emotionally.  To see her friends find their children again, when she had

yet to discover if her daughter was still alive on that planet, so far

below…she was lost among millions of people…

            Prima shuddered as her sister approached her.  Silently, they

hugged, and Prima introduced her to a pale woman at her side.  “This is

Minalle…”

            Prima smiled weakly.  “My daughter’s name was Minalle, you

know…it’s a very beautiful name, isn’t it?”

            “It means Love in some ancient Venusian language, I believe…”

Mina said, softly, almost bitterly.

            Prima looked to Serenity.  *What have you done?  Can I allow

this?*

            Aware of her sister’s scrutiny, Serenity continued quietly, trying to

keep moving.  “My ward Serena will not be joining us.  She feels ill…”

she said, looking quietly to the man who must have been the prince of

Earth.  Prima would feel her heart breaking from the sheer tragedy of the

situation.

            “Come meet the Terran Royal Court…” she brought Prima to the

young man with dark hair and soulless, dark midnight blue eyes…

 

            She walked silently through the hall.

            It was all right, she told herself in her mind.

            She longed for a walk outdoors.  She hadn’t taken one

since…since…well…

            Forget about dwelling on wrong things.

            She hurried away.  She’d go to Cloud Way, where she could sort

things out.

            Mina didn’t’ love him.  He didn’t love Mina.  Maybe in the future,

they’d eventually fall in love…after all, they hadn’t fallen in love with

anyone yet…but…

            It would KILL her to see him fall in love with Mina.  To see

him…no.  She shuddered.  Never.  She wanted to wish him happiness in

his marriage, but how could she?  She hated herself for having this debate. 

She ought to have already been decided.  She suggested the whole stupid

thing.  She had to follow it through.

            Even if she did love him.  But what if…

            *DON’T PLAY THAT GAME, KINGSTON…* she reprimanded

herself, while sitting at a spot that overlooked what she thought was

Polaris.  *He never loved you.  He was never yours to lose.*

            “So when were you planning to talk?”

            She jumped.  Her whole feeling drained, and all that was left was a

sinking feeling and cold blood in her veins.  Eyes widened, she turned

slowly, carefully, trying to keep herself calm.

            “I don’t see anything that we need to discuss…” she answered him,

coldly, avoiding his gaze.

            Oh, she was so beautiful!  Darien sighed, settling next to her.  He

wanted to…take her in his arms, just hold her, to make sure she was real. 

She was always so beautiful, but…she looked ill, and worn, and somehow

more mature, and saddened.   No, though he had anticipated the meeting,

he had not wanted it to be under these circumstances.  He just wanted to

make her look at him, to know the truth…

      But what if he found the truth not to his liking?  Or if he found the

truth to his liking?  That would be worse…

            Silent, he sat by her.

            She remained silent by him.  She yearned to ask him why he

wished to marry Mina, but she guessed that she already knew; duty. 

Bitterly, she thought he was beyond that stage, she was disappointed in

him…but, ironically, she had wanted him to accept because his duty

demanded it.  All she knew now was the pounding of her heart, counting

off the wasted time they were spending together.

            At another time, she would have appreciated this time with him. 

But now, she hated it. She hated him.  How could he?

            *Double standards…* she reprimanded herself.  But with the

increasing time they sat there, the more angered she felt, and her cheeks

flushed red until she finally faced him.

            When their eyes met everything in the air exploded.  Fire met Fire

and locked.  She felt her anger grow, and she saw a sudden surge of fire in

the gleam of his eye.  She stood up, not breaking the eyelock.  He stood up

as well, matching her, breath for breath.

            Her match, in every way conceivable.

            “How could you?” she blurted out.

            “How could I?  How could YOU?  Do you think you can control

the fate of the universe?  Do you think you can just push people together

and expect the whole world to be all right ever after?  Just because you

saved a few lives does not put you in charge of them!”

            Serena was stunned into silence.  “You have some nerve, for a

pompous bastard who CHOSE to enter an engagement, ready to control

others.  What are you demanding of me?  What more could you want? 

You WANTED this!”  *You NEEDED this!* she completed.

            “You have no idea what I want.  You don’t know me!”

            She did know him.  She knew he was tearing up inside, but she

refused to let that affect her.  *Now, the zinger.  Go in for the kill.  Just

say it, and let him hate you.  DO IT YOU WEAKLING!!!!!!!!*

            “I know a cold-blooded man who doesn’t care either way, as long

as he can stay in a position of power.  He rules his kingdom with

indifference, and doesn’t really care for anyone, or anything.  I know you

like a book.  It’s less than a few pages long!  The cold-hearted prick that I

set my poor mistress up with would appreciate his opportunity.  This is

your chance to prove yourself for all your worth, even if you are a zero. 

DON’T BLOW IT!”

            “Don’t tell me what to do!  You’re only the HELP!” he sneered,

bitingly.  He felt the need to hurt her, as much as she was hurting him.

            The help.  The sting was threatening her eyes, but she would not

cry.  Not over him.  “When you get married, I’ll be more than the “help”. 

I’m going to be the one to keep this together.  Remember that!”

            Serena pushed herself up, and walked away, not turning back once.

 

Continued in the Next Section…