A Star-Cross'd Lovers' Farewell
by Lilith Morrigan aka Midnite Angel Aeris

******

I'd give up forever to touch you
cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest thing to heaven that I'll ever be
and I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
and all I can breathe is your life
And sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

*****

"Aeris!!!!"

Cloud Strife jerked up from his bed. He was breathing heavily, the horrible scene haunted his dream once again. Aeris....why? Why did you have to die? He got up and walked towards the window. The cold night wind blew against his face. I have defeated Sephiroth..I have avenged her death...why is her death haunting me even more than before now? He stared up at the night sky. It's because I was so determined to destroy Sephiroth that I didn't really thought about anything else...now that he's defeated I'm thinking about her again...

"Aeris...why did you have to leave me? I didn't even have the chance to tell you how much I cared for you...if only I can see you, even just once...so I can tell you how I feel..." he murmured. He recalls their date in Gold Saucer. Why didn't I tell her before? Why was I so stupid?

Aeris watched Cloud from a distance. She heard him calling her name in his dream and watched him murmur to the sky. That's all I've been doing, just watching. I can't help him, I can't do anything for him, because I'm dead, and right now I'm just a spirit. She has gone to the Lifestream after her death, just like everyone would when they die. Their spirits will leave their lifeless body and lingers around the planet, until they are reborn again. She has met some interesting "spirits", and today she met this old man named Galton.

"Hey, you seem awfully young to be dead."

"Yeah, well, I guess life was meant to end early for me," Aeris said and looks at the man. He looks about 70 years old, with a few strands of dull white hair.

"Well, you will be reborn and live again, so you'll have another chance at life!"

Aeris smiled weakly. "Yeah, you're right...but then the things I have learned to love from this life will be gone forever..." Thinking of Cloud, she muttered to herself "...like him...."

The man overheard. "Him? Your boyfriend or husband?"

Aeris laughed. "It's funny..he wasn't even my boyfriend..I didn't even know if he loved me or not when I was still alive since he never said anything...but I've watched him after I died, and I was able find out how he truly felt about me...I was happy to know that he does care about me, but I guess I found out too late...." she lowered her head, feeling depressed.

Seeing this, the man can't help not to feel sorry for the young girl. "You know, I have studied about the Lifestream and life after dead when I was still alive. From what I've read, it's possible for the dead to communicate with the living,"

"Really? How?"

"Well, you see, a living human being has two minds - conscious and subconscious. Your conscious mind is your brain, which would also include your body since your brain controls it, and your subconscious mind is your soul, or spirit. When a person dies, their spirit leaves their body, which is what you and I are right now. A spirit can communicate with other spirits, but they cannot communicate with a living being, because the living being's spirit lives deep inside their body, and the body acts as a barrier. But there is a way to eliminate this 'barrier',"

"How?"

"Well, usually, a person's conscious mind overshadows the subconscious mind, because we tend to think logical. However, when a person is in a deep emotional state, the subconscious mind will surface and take over because our spirit is the source for our emotions. If this boy truly loves you, and if he's in an emotional state, his spirit should be able to feel you if you try to come into contact with him. And if he willed to see you, you might be able to contact him through his dream. Dreams are the expression of the subconscious mind,"

"You mean he'll actually be able to see me in his dream?"

"Yeah,"

Aeris gave the man a hug. This means I'll be able to meet with Cloud once again! "Thank you! Mister-"

"Galton. Don't have to call me mister. Go find your true love now,"

Can I really come into contact him? I never tried it before..is this really possible? Is his love for me deep enough for him to communicate with me? Aeris watched Cloud slowly lie back down on his bed. He was trying to sleep, but he kept tossing and turning, as if he still feel too troubled to sleep. Aeris went towards to him and kneel beside his bed. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head against his face. "Cloud....please...don't haunt yourself with the past," she whispered in his ears.

Cloud was tired, but there was too much in his mind for him to fall asleep. He tried to stop thinking about Aeris, but thoughts of her kept rushing into his mind. Aeris...I would give anything to see you again..

Suddenly, he felt warmth circling around his body, as if someone was embracing him. He heard a soft voice in his head. He couldn't really hear the words, but the voice somehow calmed his mind. The warmth was comforting, and he didn't dare to move, worried that if he moved this feeling will go away. The voice...the warmth...as if Aeris was here and comforting me...

He fell asleep, and slept peacefully for the rest of the night.

Cloud was still asleep when Barret Wallace came into his room at noon and woke him up. After defeating Sephiroth they brought a 2-story building in Kalm. Tifa will use the first floor to reopen the 7th Heaven bar while they will live in the 2nd floor. "Cloud! Wake up! Since when did you become such a lazy person?"

Cloud opened his eyes, not really wanting to wake up from the best sleep he has had in a long time. "Wha? What time is it?"

"It's noon, and you promised Tifa that you'll help to move in the new furniture for the bar!"

"Okay, okay, I'm coming," Cloud rubbed his eyes. Was Aeris here last night?...No, she's dead..it can't be...it's just my own imagination..

After helping Tifa with moving furniture and decorating the new 7th Heaven bar for the rest of the day, Cloud was exhausted when he went back to his room. He changed into his nightclothes and falls heavily on his bed. "Will I have nightmares tonight again?" he murmured to himself.

Aeris sat beside Cloud and placed her hands on Cloud's forehead. "I'll make sure you won't," she whispered. She lowered her head and kissed him. "Sleep now, you're tired,"

Cloud, again, felt the same warmth he felt last night. I can't be imagining this..it feels so....real..Then he felt something touched his lips. That felt like...a kiss...

"Aeris....." he whispered as he fell asleep.

A stroke of sunlight from the window woke him up the next morning. He opened his eyes, and saw a pink butterfly resting on his bedside. The butterfly stayed still for a moment, then flutters around him for a while before flying out the window.

Cloud sat up and stares at the direction where the butterfly went. A mental image of Aeris wearing her pink dress and smiling at him came into his mind. Aeris was here...it wasn't my imagination..

It was the grand opening of the 7th Heaven Bar. The place was flooded, which kept Tifa busy serving customers. Cloud, Barret and Cid sat in the bar, having a couple of drinks.

"Man, I haven't had a good drink for a long long time, since we were always busy hunting down that *%^*@# Sephiroth," Cid said.

"Yeah, no time to sit down and have a good time when that *&#^@#$ was around. Hey, Cloud! Why look so grim?" Barret said.

Cloud didn't say anything.

"Thinking about Aeris or something?" Cid asked.

Cloud nodded. "Lately I just can't stop thinking about her,"

"Hey, it's not healthy to think too much about a dead person," Barret said.

"I know..but somehow...I can feel her.."

"Feel her?"

"Yeah....as if she's here...."

"Cloud, that's probably your own imagination," Cid said.

"It can't be my imagination...it felt so..real,"

"Cloud, you're starting to worry me." Barret placed a hand on Cloud's shoulder. "I know you want her to be here right now, but she's gone. You're just imagining her, 'feeling' her, to help you cope with your lost,"

Cloud shook his head. "I know I'm not imagining her...that feeling is just....forget it, you guys won't understand," he stood up and headed upstairs.

"Cloud!" Barret called after him and was about to follow him when Cid stopped him.

"Just let him go, Barret. It's best to leave him alone."

Cloud went back to his room. He sat on his bed and looked around the room. "Aeris, I know you're here. I know I'm not going crazy. These past few nights..only you can comfort me like this. I only feel this peaceful when you're around, because being near you is like being in heaven for me. Why can't I see you? Please, talk to me......"

Aeris' eyes were flooding with tears of joy, after hearing what Cloud had just said. She hugged him and whispered, "Sleep, and we will meet in dream,"

Cloud felt Aeris near him again. He could hear her soft voice telling him to go to sleep, and he involuntary lowered himself in bed and closed his eyes.

"Cloud,"

Cloud turned to the voice and saw Aeris standing behind him. They were in the Sleeping Forest.

"Aeris? Is it really you?"

"Yes...I'm in your dream right now. It's the only way we can truly communicate,"

Cloud stepped closer to her, and the lovers embraced. "Aeris....I wished for this moment for so long..." he looked into her eyes. "I love you, Aeris. I didn't tell you before because I didn't know how to deal with the feelings I have for you. I was.....confused. I didn't know what that feeling was. But when I saw you in the City of Ancients, I knew that feeling has to be love. But before I could tell you...you were gone,"

"I love you too, Cloud. I never had the chance to tell you that either. I wasn't sure if you love me or not..."

Cloud lowered his head and kissed her. They held each other, silent, for a long time, both not wanting to let go.

"Cloud," Aeris finally spoke. "I want you to stop torturing yourself with the past. I've watched you, and I saw you getting haunted by past memories every night. Promise me you'll live on and stop torturing yourself,"

"Just as long as you're here I won't be haunted by the past anymore,"

"Cloud, this will probably be the last time I will come into contact with you,"

"Why?"

"I'm dead, I'm just a spirit..the only way we can talk is through your dreams, and dreams are just illusions, not real. You're still alive, you have to face reality. I don't want you to spend the rest of your life hanging on to your dreams. The reason I wanted to contact you just this once was to give me a chance to formally say goodbye, and to let you know how grateful I am, knowing that you do love me,"

Cloud kissed her again. He didn't want to watch her leave him again, but he knew they can't truly be together, even if they could meet in dreams. She is dead, he's alive, and that fact keeps them apart. At least this time he could say goodbye.

"The morning is coming...this dream will end soon. It's time for me to say goodbye. Please remember that I will always watch over you,"

"And I will always love you, Aeris. I promise I will live on without the ghosts of the past,"

Aeris smiled, and they shared one last kiss. "Someday, maybe we'll meet again....." she broke away from his arms. "Farewell....you'll always be in my heart,"

Cloud watches as Aeris and the forest fade away.

Cloud sat up on his bed. Goodbye, Aeris...you'll always be in my heart too.

He turned and got out of bed when he saw something on his table. It was a pink butterfly, resting on a bunch of irises. Irises...the kind of flowers that Aeris used to sell. He lifted up the butterfly with one finger and picked up the flowers with his other hand. The butterfly rested on his finger, not making an attempt to escape from him. He walked towards the open window. He still feel sorrow over Aeris' death, but he felt less depressed, now that he was able to express the emotions that was buried deep inside his heart for so long. He raised his hand, and the butterfly flapped its wings and flew up the sky. He watched the butterfly and clenched the flowers.

Fate has brought us together, but we were never meant to be. At least I was able to let her know that I loved her. Dearly.

A Star-Cross'd Lovers' Farewell © 1999 by Lilith Morrigan aka Midnite Angel Aeris
( this just means you can't publish this for commerical means, claim my work as yours, yada yada...it also makes me feel more important ^_^ )