Impressario: Okay, we will practice here. First of all, we will need to solve the problem of props. We need a wall to separate Pyramus and Thisbe, and a moon to show that it's night time, but I don't have time to prepare the props. Any suggestions?

Setzer: I know! Shadow can be the wall!

Sabin: Yeah, since he wears all black, he can be a black wall!

Shadow: ........

Setzer: Then for that crack on the wall where Pyramus and Thisbe talks through, he can just hold up two fingers!

Shadow: I'm an *assassin*. You expect me to be a dumb &^*%## wall????

Impressario: Hey, your 'assassin-for-hire' ad says that you will do *anything* for a reasonable price.

Shadow: Fine, fine fine. ( grumbles ) I should change that &*^%$# ad...next thing I know someone will hire me as a ^&%$#% babysitter....

( Mog enters )

Mog: More kupo humans! Tonight is a cave festival or something for the human beings? Let see what they are kupo doing.

Sabin: As for the moon, just get GoGo to hold up a lantern or something. He never likes to show his face anyways.

GoGo: ........

Impressario: Okay, then. Let's run through the scene where Thisbe is chased by the Behemoth and Pyramus comes out and kills himself. This boulder here will serve as the backstage, and that's where you'll be at the starting of this scene, Setzer.

Setzer: Okay. ( goes behind the boulder, Mog follows him )

Mog: Kupohoho. Let's play a prank on pretty boy here. ( takes out the 'Moogle's guide to magic' book again. ) "Transforming humans to hideous creatures". Um, what would be considered as hideous? I know!

Impressario: Okay, Sabin, you will be standing here, and Gau will jump in from the other side.

Sabin: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I read the script already.

Impressario: Okay! Lights, cameras-

Sabin: Um, we have lights and cameras?

Impressario: No, I just like to say it 'cause it sounds cool. Lights, camera, action!

Sabin: Oh, Pyramus, where are you?

( Gau leaps toward Sabin amd growls like a Behemoth. )

Sabim: argh. ( runs away )

Impressario: Sabin, can't you do better that just an 'argh'? And Gau, you can do better than that as well! Ah, just carry on for now. Setzer! Your turn!

Mog: Kupohohohoho! ( transforms Setzer into the most hideous, scary looking creature - a Kefka with 5 ass. Setzer comes out, shocking everyone. )

Impressario: ARGH! Kefka! With five ass!

Sabin: 5-ass Kefka!!?!?!?!?!!? Oh no, it's coming right for us! Aurabolt!

( Sabin shoots an aurabolt at Setzer, sending him flying towards Moruru. Setzer slams into Moruru, waking her up )

Gau: Oh my god, Mrs. Thou killed Setzer!

Impressario: You b&^%$#@% !!! Now who's going to be Pyramus?

Sabin: Let's just get out of here!

( Sabin, Impressario, GoGo, Gau and Shadow exits )

Setzer: ( rubs head ) What the hell are you &*^%$# doing, Sabin! That hurts!

Moruru: ( looks up at Setzer ) What a strange yet beautiful creature! ( takes out the 'Moogle's guide to magic spells' book ) "Appearing before creatures other than moogles - Just chant these words: Kupopopo Kupopopopo Kupo Kupo Kupopopopopopopopopo"

Setzer: ( sees Moruru ) Um, hi, um...little white creature...

Moruru: I'm a moogle.

Setzer: Moogles? Don't they exist only in fairy tales? Ah well, sorry I smashed into you like this.

Moruru: That's kupo okay. I'm glad to kupo see you. ( places a hand on Setzer's chin. ) Did anyone tell you that you're the most beautiful kupo thing in the world?

Mog: ( watching from a distance ) KUPO! It worked! Now Relm is kupo mine! I better go kupo check on Umaro first. ( exits )

Setzer: Um, no. ( feels uneasy ) Um, maybe I should go back to look for my friends.

Moruru: Kupo, please don't go! You will be kupo happy here. With me, you can have anything you kupo want.

Setzer: Anything?

Moruru: ( nods, then calls out ) Kurin, Kushu, Kuku, Kupop! Kupo come forward right now!

( a moment later the four moogles enters )

Kushu: Kupo, your highness?

Moruru: What is your name, my kupo love?

Setzer: The name's Setzer.

Moruru: From now on, you will kupo serve Setzer and do whatever he asks you to kupo do, kupo?

Kurin: Kupo! Your wish is our command.

Setzer: Wow, so I actually gets servants? What's your name?

Kurin: Kurin. Would you like anything to kupo drink, Sir Setzer?

Setzer: Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. Bring me a bottle of whiskey.

Kurin: Yes sir. ( exits )

Setzer: What's your name?

Kuku: Kuku. Would you like anything to kupo eat, Sir Setzer?

Setzer: Yeah, my stomach is kind of empty. Bring me a bottle of rum.

Kuku: Yes sir. ( exits )

Setzer: Okay, little one, what's your name?

Kushu: Kushu. Would you like some kupo desert, sir?

Setzer: Yeah, desert would be good. Bring me a bottle of tequila.

Kushu: Yes sir. ( exits )

Kupop: My name's Kupop. Would you like some wine?

Setzer: Are you kidding? One can only take so much wine. Bring me a barrel of beer.

Kupop: Yes sir. ( exits )

Moruru: So, will you stay, my love?

Setzer: Yeah sure, I can get used to this place. Why don't you go get me a deck of cards and some poker chips?

Mog: Kupo, there you are! So have you found the man?

Umaro: Yeah, Umaro used juice on blonde man, lady sleeping near by, should not miss her.

Mog: Kupo good. ( enters Edgar and Celes ) Ah, here he is right now.

Umaro: Not this man. Umaro has not seen this man.

Mog: What?

Celes: Edgar, I know you did something to Locke. Did you got so jealous that you murdered your own friend?

Edgar: For the last time, Celes, no! I did not do anything to Locke. Why do you care so much about him? What makes him better than me?

Celes: Well, for starters he's not as lecherous as you!

Edgar: I'm not lecherous!

Celes: What-ever! Just forget it, jerk, I'll never love you! ( exits )

Edgar: Fine! Why am I wasting all my energy to chase you anyways? You don't even show me any kind of respect! Forget it! I'm tired, and I'm going to sleep. ( takes out sleeping bag from inventory, sleeps )

Mog: Umaro, you made a kupo mistake! This was the man I told you to find. ( enters Terra ) Kupo, here comes the lady. Quickly, take the juice and stain his eyes, and make sure he sees her first when he kupo wakes up.

Umaro: Aye. ( goes over to Edgar and pour the jucie on his eyes. Terra then comes and trips over Edgar, waking him up. )

Terra: Ouch! Why am I keep tripping over things today? ( looks down. ) Edgar?

Edgar: ( eyes still closed ) Who dares to wake me up from my sleep? ( opens his eyes and sees Terra ) Terra!

Terra: Sorry, Edgar, didn't mean to wake you up.

Edgar: No need to be sorry, my dear. I'm happy that you woke me up so I can clearly see the beauty in you.

Terra: Oh no, you're not going to be like Locke now are you?

Edgar: Oh Terra, when I see you angelic feature I finally realized that I am truly in love with you!

Terra: Oh pl-ease, you were head over heels over Celes, and now you're using the same words as Locke had use on me earlier? You two are just trying to play a cruel joke on me! You know what, you *are* a jerk! You AND Locke! ( enters Locke ) Oh no, not him again!

Locke: Terra! Please don't run away from me again. Please don't run away from my love for you.

Edgar: Locke? You are trying to steal away my girlfriend?

Locke: Your girlfriend? You dumped her long time ago!

( enters Celes )

Celes: There you are Locke! I was so worried about you! ( wraps her arms around Locke )

Locke: Will you get off me? ( Celes backs up, shocked ) Edgar, you were the one that wanted her. I don't love her now so why don't you take her?

Celes: You don't.....love me???

Locke: No! Why did you think I abandonned you back there? Terra, please come with me. Don't listen to anything this jerk is saying to you. I'm the one that will truly love you.

Edgar: Me? A jerk? What about you, thief!

Locke: HEY!

Celes: You love....Terra?? Which means......Terra! You stole Locke away from me!

Terra: I stole Locke? You're probably involve in the cruel joke too aren't you? Is this how you treat a friend? By finding someone to mock me?

Celes: How *I* treat a friend? What about you? What did you do to Locke, Terra?

Terra: I didn't do anything to him! Stop pretending, Celes, I know this is all just part of a big joke, and you three will end up laughing your heads off at me. Nice way to insult a friend!

Celes: You stole my boyfriend away from me, you imperial witch!

Terra: ( slaps Celes ) Don't call me that, you imperial slut!

Celes: ( slaps Terra back ) I can call you whatever the hell I want!

Locke: Celes, stop it! Are you all right, Terra?

Edgar: Hey, don't even think about laying a hand on my girlfriend!

Locke: That's it! You want a &*^%$& duel? I challenge you to a *&^@#$ duel if you have the %^?*@ guts you wimp!

Edgar: Hey, watch your mouth! There are ladies present! You want a duel, fine! We will fight somewhere else where you can swear and curse all you want. ( exits with Locke )

Celes: Wait, Locke! ( exits )

Terra: This is getting way too weird. That's it, I'm going home ( exits )

Mog: Kupo, look what you did! ( takes out the magic book ) "To shut off all lights in the cave, chant these words: Kupopopopopopopopopo kupo, all source of light go away!" ( cave becomes pitch dark. ) Here. ( gives a bottle to Umaro ) Make sure they don't kupo find each other, and make them fall asleep. Then, kupo pour this over Locke's eyes, which will break the spell. They'll wake up next day thinking that this is all a dream. Kupo hurry - the morning is arriving soon. I will now go find Relm.

Umaro: Yes master! ( Mog exits, a moment later Edgar cnters from one side. )

Edgar: ( holding chainsaw. ) Why did it get so dark all the sudden? I can't see anything anymore. Where are you Locke? Too scared of my chainsaw? ( trips over a rock ) Ouch! This is way too dark to do anything....and I'm still extremely sleepy.....maybe I should just take a nap and worry about Locke later.....( yawns, lies down and sleep )

( enters Locke )

Locke: Damn, I can't see where I am going. What happened to the lights in the cave? Maybe I should just sleep here and see what will happen later. It's too dark for me to go anywhere. ( lies down and sleep )

( enters Celes )

Celes: Oh great, I don't know my way around here, and all the sudden this place became so dark. ( yawns ) I'm too tired to figure my way out...I'm going to sleep. ( lies down and sleep )

( enters Terra )

Terra: What happened to the lights in this place? It's already dark before, and it got even worse now. I don't want to trip over anything else. I think I'll just go to sleep. ( lies down and sleep )

Umaro: ( walks over to Locke, pours the remedy over his eyes ) Spell be broken! My job here's done. ( takes out a book 'Magic spells of moogles for dummies' ) "Restore light in cave - chant kupopopopopopopopo light return!' ( lights turns back on ) Now me will return to master. ( exits )