Earlier in the morning as Kogure was walking to his classroom, he spotted Sakuragi and Yohei at a distance and when the redhead saw him, he acted as if Kogure was no more than a stranger. That pained Kogure but he understood and it made him feel all the more guilty. The spectacled-boy spent most of the day in moody silence. The teachers and other students were puzzled and Akagi who knew why only kept quiet.
Last night when Kaede knew what happened to him and Sakuragi, the fox-eyed boy was not pleased.
"Mitsui-san came along and you throw away Sakuragi? Why? He gave his heart to you."
Kogure wanted to run away. Away from the pain and guilt. What should he do? He loved both boys; Mitsui, the talented, warm and charming rogue who he has adored since before they even became friends and there's Sakuragi, the cheeky happy-go-lucky redhead who caught his heart with his determination and sincerity. And they both wanted him.
"Ja." the redhead has said.
He didn't know simple words like that could break his heart.
Akagi and Kogure sat in their classroom for their breaktime, each boys eating their packed food without the usual vigour. Ayako who was concerned for her sempai's state of mind was also with them, trying to cheer Kogure up. Unfortunately her exuberance didn't affect Kogure it usually did and instead the boy's mood made her feel down.
"You should have went after Sakuragi and have a talk with him," commented Akagi trying to start from the source of misery.
"I... I couldn't bring myself to go after him..." answered Kogure faintly.
Akagi sucked the end of his chopsticks while he thought. Ayako spoke up, "Then I guess Mitsui's your choice."
"I don't know..."
Akagi arched an eyebrow, "Then who do you want?"
"I don't know..."
The captain was becoming annoyed. The way Kogure's was feeling at the moment unnerved him and he didn't like it one bit.
"What do you mean you don't know? How could you...."
Ayako put on her hand on the captain's arm to stop him, "Akagi-sempai, it's not Kogure-sempai's fault..."
"Ayako..."
The manageress continued, "What's done is done. Now it's up to Kogure-sempai to make the decision. This is one thing that he has to make up his mind all by himself."
"Now it's up to Kogure-sempai to make the decision. This is one thing that he has to make up his mind all by himself."
****
At practice Kogure tried hard not to feel affected by the knowledge of he and the redhead being at the same place but unable to see and talk with each other like they normally would. Kaede wouldn't speak to him and Akagi was acting as if he was treading under soft glass around him.
The only good thing that happened that day was when Anzai-sensei announced that Sakuragi was chosen to be a player again for the next game between Ryonan. It was not a practice game like before but an interstate championship match between the highschools that rivalled the winter games championship every school vied the title for. The redhead's face lit with surprise and happiness and Kogure felt at that moment utmost pride but it quickly diminished when he realised he was unable to congratulate the redhead of his luck. No, the redhead doesn't need luck. Sakuragi is a good player and Kogure wouldn't be surprised if the redhead turns up into one of the top in the players' and the girls' lists.... and boys' too...
Kogure didn't realise he was frowning.
****
Sakuragi was in a bad mood the whole day until the coach announced to him that he would be allowed to play in the first real match between Ryonan. Yeah, he was happy but knowing that Kogure would also be happy for him and the fact that he wasn't with the boy anymore made the moment seem flawed.
What's the point?
After the practice has ended he again had a talk with Akagi alone in the locker room while the rest were either not there or too far away to hear their conversation. The captain spoke to him, "I know that you had no intention of letting Kogure go."
"What else was I supposed to do?" Sakuragi growled lowly, throwing his towel on the bench, "I'll only make his life miserable. I saw what happened when I left him last night. Seeing him like that makes me feel as if I'm the lowest scum on earth. I never want to see him cry again."
Akagi couldn't find anything to say anymore so he let the redhead walk out of the gym only to come upon Mitsui who was leaning against the wall of the building outside.
The 3-P shooter tilted his head in greeting to the redhead and Shohoku player only stood there looking at him. As Mitsui was wondering what the redhead was up to with his silence, Sakuragi flicked his finger and said, "I'm gonna kick yer ass in court, Mitsui-san so you better watch out."
Mitsui smiled, "Oh? They let you play again, huh? Well, see you in the games then."
Sakuragi grinned, "Aa..."
"Mitsui?"
The two boys turned around to see Kogure stare at both of them in surprise. Mitsui pushed himself off of the wall and walked up to the spectacled boy, "Kogure, I've been waiting for you."
Sakuragi felt a surge of jealousy but he bit his lip before saying, "I'm going. See you tomorrow, Kogure-sempai."
"Hai..." managed Kogure before the junior turned and walked away from them. The spectacled-boy had to tear his eyes away from the boy's form before he was able to turn back to confront Mitsui's grinning face.
"Can I walk you home?" asked the scarred-face boy.
"Yeah," Kogure smiled, "...sure..."
****
"Do you have an answer yet?" asked Mitsui suddenly.
Kogure gave a start. He was enjoying his friend's company while they walked home, chatting about what has been going on in both their lives when Mitsui popped the question.
Mitsui saw the uneasy expression on Kogure face and chuckled, "It's alright. If you can't give me an answer now, maybe later. The wait makes it the more meaningful, don't you think?"
The spectacled-boy mentally disagrees. He thought that the wait makes it the more painful.
"I would like to hear it after you've thought about it carefully. It does involve the heart after all," said Mitsui, giving Kogure a gentle smile.
Mitsui...
Kogure smiled back. His mind which was heavy with troubled thoughts became lighter with those words of patience and care.
Mitsui turned around and resumed walking, "So, we'll be graduating soon, right?"
Kogure nodded, "Yeah..."
The boy's steps slowed down when they came across the vending machine that Sakuragi always frequented when it was the redhead who accompanied him home. He could still remember it clearly; the sound of the coins clanging inside the machine, the sound of the can of Sakuragi's favourite drink dropping from it's slot and the sound of the redhead's cheerful voice asking,
"Want something to drink, Min-kun?"
"Min-kun?"
Kogure was jolted out of his reminisce when he realised that Mitsui was calling out his name. The scarred-face boy haven't called him by his first name since he left for Ryonan and although Kogure knew he should be feeling ecstatic, he couldn't help but feel a bit melancholic.
"W-what...?" asked Kogure, trying to cover his distraction by pushing his glasses firmly on the bridge of his nose.
"I asked how the juniors are going?" asked Mitsui.
"They are good," said Kogure, "Kaede and Sakuragi will probably give you a hard time but you know that already. They couldn't beat us though if you, Akagi and I go hand-in-hand against them. They've got the skill but we've got the experience."
Mitsui laughed, "Y'know, it's great hearing that you still have that confidence in us three being a team. You remember that Akagi and I hated each other's guts the first time we met..."
"But you two made great partners when you settled your differences," reminded Kogure.
"Yeah," grinned Mitsui, "We had fun times way back, didn't we?"
"Yes, in the past..."
Suddenly Kogure stopped walking when he realised with a start of those words that finally made him understand one thing.
"It's all in the past..."
"Kogure?" Mitsui stopped beside him in concern, "What's the matter?"
"It's all in the past," said Kogure again, looking at Mitsui with comprehension in his eyes which the 3-P shooter did not know what it was about.
Nevertheless, Mitsui agreed, "Aa... all in the past..."
****
Kogure was unable to study that night so he decided to take a walk along the street to clear his mind. Kaede didn't comment as he watched his older brother walk out of the house with only a reminder to their parents.
As he strolled along the streets intending to stop by at a convenient store nearby across the street he saw through the glass windows Sakuragi walking along the aisle inside the shop shifting through the snacks and magazines. Kogure just watched from across the street and when he thought that the redhead might turn around and see him, the senior hid himself behind a billboard poster and continued watching until the redhead has made his purchase.
When Sakuragi walked out of the store, Kogure kept himself hidden. When he realised that the redhead was crossing the street towards him he panicked, hoping that the pounding of his heart will not alert the redhead of his presence. Fortunately, Sakuragi passed by him without knowing and only then could Kogure let out a breath of relief. Instead of walking to the store as he has intended, the spectacled boy walked towards the corner of the street where Sakuragi has disappeared to. The redhead was no where in sight.
Kogure leaned against the wall of the gate surrounding the house at the end of the street and sighed.
Baka. Why do I have to feel like this, cold sweat breaking all over my body? Pathetic. This is my fate... just to watch silently the person that I like, making my heart pound... like before...
The boy let his body slide down against the wall before he cradled his head against his arms.