The sun has risen five hours ago but Kogure refused to get out of bed. He huddled his blanket tighter around him as the events of last night replayed themselves in his memory. Sakuragi's voice was tortured in his ears and he felt the hurt in his heart,

"Damn it! I'm tired of all this! I am your boyfriend but your dad won't even acknowledge me as an equal! I can't stand it!"

I can't believe you truly feel that way, Hanamichi, Kogure thought, giving a tremulous sigh as he hugged his pillow to his cheek. He felt hurt, so hurt. What they have gone through together and that was all it took for the redhead admit defeat. His father's condescending attitude.

"I can't stop thinking about it! I can't let you go through with what I feel!"

Liar.
Kogure burrowed deeper into the covers trying to control his breathing. He has been crying and up all night, only to have woken up puffy eyed and hoarse. He thought that he has spent all his tears but as he felt his eyes start to well, he knew he would never stop crying.


~~~~

Sakuragi mechanically walked towards his locker and to take out his shoes, not caring about the hustle and bustle of the other students around him as they all rushed to get home, when a familiar voice called out to him, "Sakuragi."

The redhead turned around and caught sight of his fox-eyed teammate who was nodding as he approached. Even when Kaede have been changed to a different class for their second year, he and Sakuragi still have the same lockers from last year, enabling them to meet before and after school before they head out for basketball practice. Unlike the usual days, Sakuragi did not greet his friend with a smile. Kaede was not surprised considering what happened last night.

Kaede picked up his shoes and dropped it on the floor to toe it on. The redhead seemed to have found that action interesting as he waited for any other words from the kitsune. Kaede did not disappoint him but the truth still hit him painfully to the core.
"It was inevitable," Kaede told him.

After Sakuragi's sigh, Kaede then said, "I understand how you feel."
This time it was the redhead's turn to become silent while his normally untalkative friend continued with an unemotional voice, "What else is there to do. It is how you feel... am I right?"

"I...I think...-Hai," the redhead said slowly before turning around to walk away. Then he stopped and Kaede could hear the uncertainty in his voice, "I...I don't know..."


~~~~

Kogure didn't know where he should go. Didn't even care. He wasn't even aware of his surroundings, just letting his feet do the walking and making his mind as blank as possible to echo the hollowness he felt in his heart.

He has skipped two of his classes after he realised that he couldn't concentrate at all. He felt like being alone, disappearing from Akagi before his friend manage to corner him and make him talk. Not that Akagi would do so, mind you. His friend was too thoughtful for that and he would expect Akagi to wait until he could pour his heart out to him. No, it weren't the questions that Kogure was afraid of, it was the look... and the way Akagi would treat him if he knew. Like a piece of delicate china doll. He hated that feeling but it was what he felt like right now, that even the slightest wrong thing could crumble him into pieces.
His stopped his steps when he realised where he was. He was standing in front of the cafe where he and Sakuragi used to meet after classes, or practice in the redhead's case. Kogure turned and ran away. Away from the place full of memories. Away from the place full of promises.

He needed someone to talk to! Someone to confide in, or he would burst! He went to the nearest house of a friend - Mitsui Hisashi.

"Mitsui! Mitsui!" Kogure called knocking the door desperately. When his knuckles started to hurt did he stop and realise that no one was at home. Turning around, he leaned his body against the door and let it slide down to the floor where he sat, his knees drawn up to his chin in an effort to contain himself from crying. It was a lost battle for in a few moments tears began to seep through his lashes and trickle across his cheek to chin where it dampened his throusers at the knee. Soon his body started shaking and not being able to stop his misery he only managed to stiffle his cries as he let his tears loose in his sorrow.


~~~~

The rattle of the hoop against the impact of the ball resounded in the gym before squeaks of sneakers crossed to hall to remind the redhead that the game was still on, even when the ball has passed through the hoop. That and the hiss of one of his teammates, "You're letting the year ones beat us Sakuragi! Wake up!"

Instead of bashing the boy senseless for assuming the Tensai was not concentrating on what he did best, Sakuragi did the opposite. He walked away. Maybe because he didn't feel like bashing anyone today and maybe because what the boy said was true - that his mind was elsewhere. And also that he felt ... lost. Somehow not even having the strength to start a banter between Miyagi or Kaede... definitely not Kaede for just looking at the fox-eyed boy would remind him of...

Sakuragi stalked towards the player with the ball and charged. But that was only also half-felt.



"What's wrong with Sakuragi today?" wondered Ayako aloud, tapping her pen against her chin, "His playing is terrible!"

Haruko nodded in worry also wondering what have made the redhead lose his passion and distinctly his cheer. Maybe she could have a talk with Sakuragi-kun later...


~~~~

After practice Sakuragi went ahead and changed his clothes before he went in search for Haruko. He found her, talking to her pony-tailed friend and nudged her to the side. Smiling, the redhead gave her back her handkerchief and thanked her for her attention.

"Ee? It's clean," Haruko smiled, "You washed it?"

The redhead scratched his head shyly, "Iie. I didn't. Okaasan did."

"Oh," the girl giggled, placing the cloth to her lips, "I thought you did."
Sakuragi chuckled and noticed how happy she looked even with that simple gesture.

It was already dark when he reached the destination where his feet have brought him - to the front steps of the cafe where he and Kogure usually meet after school. After a long moment of hesitation he walked inside and as he stood there rooted to the spot, a waitress walked towards him with a smile of greeting, "Good evening. Will it be only you?"

"No," Sakuragi said, not elaborating.

"Then you would have to wait a moment, sir. The double table are full and..."
Before the waitress had a chance to fully explain, Sakuragi left there without a word.
No. It doesn't mean he would come...
And that realisation struck a cord in his heart. Painfully.


~~~~

It has started to rain, further engulfing the visibility around the apartment complex in the night. Kogure rubbed his arms and brought his jacket tighter around his body but it failed to drive the chill out. It was already eight-thirty pm but there was still no sign of the scarred-face man and his fiancee that Kogure was about to give up and just go home when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. Looking up, Kogure was shocked at who he saw was staring at him in return. Sakuragi!

"M-Min..."

Picking himself up, Kogure rushed past him ignoring the calls of one stunned redhead, "Wait! Min-kun!"

The spectacled-boy kept on running, and down the steps we went, tears now streaming freely down his face. It was too much! Just too much! As he reached the bottom of the steps he saw walking towards him Akagi, Mitsui and his fiancee.

Kogure felt his legs about to give out and he instantly went into the nearest open arms available.
"Kogure, what is it?" Akagi asked, forsaking his umbrella to shelter his friend. The spectacled young man did not answer but continued crying, burying his face into Mitsui's shirt. The scarred-face young man looked up from rubbing Kogure's shaking back and to the redhead in displeasure. Although he was already engaged with the woman he loved he still had a soft spot for the sobbing brown-haired person in his arms. The redhead would not run away without an explanation, he would make sure of it.


~~~~

In the small living room, three teenagers sat down while Mariko took Kogure into the kitchen to dry up. After the young woman handed the three a cup of hot chocolate each she shuffled back to the kitchen to accompany her fiancee's closest friend.

Akagi was the first one to speak, "Didn't you once said that you hated seeing Kogure cry?"

Sakuragi drew up his knees to rest his suddenly heavy head, "Aa... I did, didn't I?"

Mitsui frowned, "The why did you-"

Akagi held up a hand to stop Mitsui. What the redhead needed now was to think, not to be persecuted.

In the kitchen, Kogure accepted the hot chocolate with a weak smile of thanks.

"Are you alright now?" Mariko asked softly, patting Kogure's chilly hands after she gave him a towel to dry up. Compared to Akagi who has given him the umbrella too late, the spectacled teenager was soaking from head to waist.

"Aa. Arigato," Kogure bowed, before taking a sip of the warm drink.

"Ano..." Mariko began uncertainly. She has only met Kogure once and known a lot about him from her fiancee. She didn't know if she should intrude upon the young man's love life but she couldn't help but worry, "Akagi-san said that you did not come to the last classes and you weren't in the basketball club either today. He was pretty worried and so was Hisashi-kun. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Kogure hesitated and Mariko bowed, apologising, "Ano... gomen nasai. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"Iie... it's... it's..." stammered Kogure before taking a deep breath to speak clearly, telling her about what had happened at home. Finally Kogure shook his head murmuring, "Hana-kun. I couldn't understand why he can be so mean... just b-because o-otousan..."

After allowing Kogure reprieve, Mariko said quietly, "I understand why you feel hurt but you have to understand how he feels when he said those words to you..."

The spectacled teenager looked up at her questioningly. She took a sip from her mug before speaking again, "It is between you and Sakuragi-san, ne? You musn't bring your father into the picture. Both of you love each other. This problem should not be overblown or you would not be able to cope."

Kogure curled his fingers tightly over the mug as he listened attentively to the words coming out from the young woman Mitsui loves.
"The real problem should be focused upon - which is Sakuragi-kun. He is still a highschool student, restricted to the laws and conformity of a society in uniform. That uniform makes him feel burdened. He is tired with all of it. What he said was the truth, don't you think so, Kogure-san?"

The spectacled-teenager let his head fall on the low table in weariness.

"Damn it! I'm tired of all this!" Sakuragi had said.

"I can't stop thinking about it! I can't let you go through with what I feel!"


~~~~

Kogure reached home late that night, thankful that his father was not at home to chastise him for coming home at that hour. After a quick shower, he went to his brother's bedroom and knocked before entering. On the bed was Kaede, reading a basketball magazine, only turning around when Kogure sat beside him.

"Kaede... what do you think about what Hanamichi said to otousan?"

Kaede flipped his magazine in disinterest, not really reading the printed words in front of him.
"He meant what he said."

Kogure pretended to look into another magazine in front of him and waited for Kaede to continue.

"When I saw what happened between him and otousan... I was worried... . I didn't think it would become that serious with the two of them," Kaede told him, "I wanted to stop them, to end it, but I know I couldn't even if I did make them to stop arguing."

Kogure sighed but Kaede surprisingly has more to say, "I'm serious... even you should understand how a man feels. To be challanged at what you believe in. When Sakuragi said that he would not give you up I believed him.... but..."

"...but...?" Kogure dared himself to ask.

"But he wasn't looking at you when he said it, was he?" Kaede stated instead of questioning, "He was looking at otousan."

Kaede looked away when he understood what Kaede was saying. The real problem was not because of him or his father. It was because of Sakuragi's self-acknowledgement as a man. Knowing the redhead like he knew he did, it was a blow to the pride.



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