1) "Ore Wa Tensai" is your no.1 phrase. This is to be repeated whenever necessary. If your mood is at its best, add in a tune.

2) If anyone makes fun of the phrase above (in (1)), beat him senseless. (Note: Girls shall not be beaten but chased away with the most intimidating roar).

3) Feel free to give people nicknames in coincidence with their nature or features, for e.g. Akagi = Gori, Rukawa = Kitsune, Kogure = Megane-kun, Mitsui = Micchy, Ryota = Ryonchin, Maki = old man, Kiyota = Crazy Monkey.

4) If you get dumped by a girl/boy or get into a fight on the court, expect four idiots to start blowing party trumpets and throwing confetti. A head-bash to the idiots' head should follow.

5) Whenever the spectators begin to call you names from their seats, do not go up there to beat them up because you may be disqualified for leaving the court. Just pretend ignorance or temporary loss of hearing, or you can threaten them bodily harm when the game ends.

6) If you feel the need to rebel on the court (either during a game or practice), be vigilant of:

a) Gori's fist
b) Ayako's fan
c) Rukawa's foot
d) All of the above

7) Whenever you make it on a sport's page cover displaying your magnificent talent make as much copies as possible and distribute them around school.

8) Greet the coach with a pat on his tummy or chin. This is a good way to get his attention and also make him aware that he ought to lose a few pounds.

9) Whenever you land in a yaoi (or non-yaoi, where applicable below) fanfiction written by a fan, expect sudden declaration of love and passionate kisses from:

a) Rukawa
b) Sendoh
c) The remaining bishoujo/bishounen population from Kanagawa
d) Cross-over bishoujo/bishounen from various fandoms
e) Mary Sues & Gary Stus
f) All of the above.

If you land in a self-insert fanfiction, beware of bouts of out-of-character (OOC) experience either in you or anyone else in the story, especially when the writers are high in caffeine or lacking of sleep.

10) You are the tensai and forever will be the tensai!

~OWARI

Happy birthday, Hanamichi!! *hugs*