I look at the flowing snow that comes down endlessly. I think of angels, hovering in the air, and am reminded of their wings. Their wings are a clean, pure white, the color representative of purity. And… I look at the packet of marshmallows in my hand. White…

All the colors of white.

Christmas season…

The people pass me by like never-ending wave, all of them with their loved ones. All looking as if they feel so happy and fortunate.

And then there’s me…

I find a seat in the fast food restaurant and order my food. Within a minute I receive my food, and I carry it towards my seat.

I close my eyes and say my prayer. In my prayer it not only consists of a blessings to my food, but I keep thinking of you, and recite the phrase: "Merry Christmas." in my heart. I pray that this phrase will reach you, reach into the country where it does not snow. Is it too hot there? I heard that it is humid in that country in the season. It rains there during the Christmas season? I heard so…

So many questions…

……

If only you are here…

***

I look around in the streets. People, all looking so happy flow about like the sea. The sky is so clear, and in the stars’ place golden street lights shine. Just like the sky that angels hover in the time of Bethlehem.

Just like a dream.

Perhaps the next day I would wake up and say, oh, it’s Christmas morning, and the day, the lonely day that I dreamt about is just a dream, nothing real. Then you would appear by my side, arms draped around me, and say, "Good morning" in such a sleepy way that I want to tickle you and wake you up.

But I know that this is not a dream. The cold air that is surrounding me and the snow that I trudge in tells me so.

I miss you…

Even though I can’t see you and you can’t see me, I will still love you, and I will never forget it. Even if I forget how you look like.

I am not a person of words. To express how I feel will be hard, even though I really want to say so.

But I will keep those words just finely, and I want to tell you merry Christmas…

***

I lean against the windowsill and felt the wind blow across my face. It is soft … Just like a sigh…

It is Christmas today. Angels are probably hovering over my house. The wind is probably the angels’ sigh… What a comparison.

I have always wondered why couldn’t we see the stars. It is said that it is because that it is too bright…

I march over to the light switch and turn the lights off. But the stars still can’t be seen… It must be the lights outside.

It looks so fresh. Just like the greenish blue sea… The feeling of freshness is the same.

You are not by my side now. Though far away, I will remember you. I may forget your face, your voice, but I will never forget you. Ever. No matter how many miles, how many kilometers… I wish that we will meet again someday, hopefully a Christmas day, so that I may tell you how I feel about you……

How much I love you.

***

I close my eyes and pray, think about you and your laugh…

If only I can see it again soon.

I recite, deep in my heart, praying that it will reach you like a dove carrying a letter, to a country where it does not snow like here: "Merry Christmas."

***