The Adventures of ShinDan Volume I
mail C&C to cronusz@bellsouth.net
And who is ShinDan you might ask? ShinDan is the horrible half-triple
inbred cousin of our super taunting hero, Dan, from Street Fighter Alpha 2.
He's like ShinAkuma, except that this is...well...Dan.
I think this should give you enough info on the story so read on and
prepare to flame me :)
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"Hey blondie go get a haircut!" Dan yelled at Ken, swinging his fist
in the super taunting mode he was so famous for.
"Hmmm...Okay. Dan, go get a fighting style." Ken said, and as Dan
is doing the macarena during his super-duper taunt(breakdancing while rolling
and screaming YOSHA!!) Ken decides to use his awesome power to hit him with
a 99-hit custom combo. Dan of course, is flat out cold, and we once again
realize that Dan is the best character in SFA2.
As Ken walks away eating a peanut butter and pickle sandwich(he did
the combo while eating and with a blindfold against Dan, yes its very sad.),
a strange warrior leaps out of the nearby alleyway. He is dressed in a
typical palette-swapped shotokan karate outfit, except it had polkadots with
a big "BAKA" inscribed in Kanji across the back in a neon sign.
"Damn sign." Shindan grumbled.
"BY THE GODS NO! IT'S SHINDAN!! RUN AWAY!!" Ken screamed as he ran
off, but picked up a nearby cat and petted it then ran into a wall, then he
started going out of the alley.
"YES EAT MY ... SONIC TAUNT!!" Dan said triumphantly.
He took a big breath and then...
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAA!" the
megaphone screamed.
Ken was shot over across the street and slammed into a building face
first as a random passerby commented.
"Wow, just from the air pressure alone!"
So Ends the first of ShinDan's Most Pointless Adventures. Stay tuned for
the next installment: DAN MERCHANDISING!!
EOF
............
............
OK, I decided to write the next Pointless Adventures of Shindan episode
right now so flame me later, especially after this one! :)
mail C&C to justin.coole@serfun.com
DAN MERCHANDISING
M.Bison grimaced. At the factory for "Dan-Making" (he couldn't think
of a better name he was too lazy) he was faced with a distinct problem: he
had an itch where it really counted. Suddenly, Dan burst into his office,
frothing at the mouth.
"OYAJIIIIIII!!!! NOW I WILL AVENGE YOU!!!" Dan yelled, swinging his
infinitely powerful shaking fist at Bison.
SHINKUU GADOKEN!
The incredible burst of power flew out of Dan's hands, catching Bison
off guard. When all seemed lost and Bison's reign of dictatorship over the
world would finally be ended because I can't think of anymore cruddy plot
loops....
The Gadoken dissipated.
A 12-hit Psycho Crusher followed. 12-hit Psychic attack = 1 fried
Dan. Which brings us to the conclusion that Dan is the character of choice
in SFA2, without a doubt.
"Hey, idiot." Bison said.
"What?" Dan said, stupidly. (What do you expect he has BAKA on him!)
"Personal vendetta division is next door. Sagat usually is back
there, I think." Bison said.
"Oh. Uh, sorry." Dan said.
"Yes, you are." Bison remarked.
"Hey...!" Dan began...
...but finished with another 78-hit custom combo from Bison.
"Weren't you going somewhere?" he asked.
"Uh, sorry again." Dan said.
Which brings us to the conclusion that Dan is a god and must be
worshipped.
And so, Bison marketed the doll, and it sold insanely well. But that
was only because everyone liked to beat up Dan. It was a perfect sale item
and kids would stock their shelves with Dan dolls to destroy in millions of
perverted little ways. They even had Dan dolls that when you pulled the
string would scream YOSHA YOSHA RACHU RAHRAHRAHRAHRAH KOJINADU YAYUUSH!!
followed by a horrible scream from a level 3 attack!
And so I think I'll throw in something random.
As Bison contemplated his next improvement on the Dan doll, a nun
came screaming into the building, flying in through the ceiling and out his
office window.
"Yes, quite random." Bison said.
Then he heard sounds from the next room, with the fight between Sagat
and Dan. It had been going on for a long time...only because Dan was stone
drunk at the moment and Sagat was defending himself from Dan's come ons.
"c'mere sagat baby" Dan mumbled.
"SHIZE!!!!!!!!!!!!"(that means DIE in Japanese -Ed.) Sagat
roared as he super genocided him. And while Dan was being wiped out, ShinDan
dashes in through the window. He was dressed in yet another palette swapped
shotokan karate suit, except this one had flowers and naked women on it, with
the word "SUPABAKA" on his back.
"I will help you Dan!" he said, launching a Super Hell Murder Death
Kill attack (akuma's level 3 super megamove)
Dan, with his infinite common senses, decided to stand in
front of his murderous cousin. He promptly died from super-severe beating,
and collapsed with a bottle of vodka in one hand.
"Thank you ShinDan." Sagat said.
"You killed my Dad!" ShinDan screamed, while breaking a vodka bottle
over his head, for no particular reason.
"So?" Sagat said, puzzled.
"Great I've always wanted to meet you! but now..."
ShinDan took a deep breath and then...
YYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
Sagat was halfway to Japan to get his scar from Ryu about now. (Now
you know who REALLY is responsible!!!)
ShinDan burst into Bison's room.
"You multi-faceted jello mold dictator or whatever you are! You
can't exploit my cousin like this!" he yelled.
"I'll give you 20% percent of the profits!" Bison countered.
"Woo-Hoo sold!" Shindan said, doing a jig of joy on his cousin's
grave, which, incidentally was only engraved as follows:
DAN
SHOTOKAN BAKA
The Taunting Legend
Ridiculed by millions
Beaten up by millions
We shall miss him...
What's his name again?
EOF
(
geocities.com/tokyo/shrine) (
geocities.com/tokyo)