Lost Worlds Part one Original story by: Adam Sheehan MSTing by: M. H. Torringjan I'm taking a break on my Gargoyles MSTing that I began so that I can do this story which is just begging to be MSTed. I don't mean any insult to the author by doing this work. I want to make that crystal clear because it might seem like I'm insulting the author, what with this being a self-insertion fic. I won't ruin the story for you, as if you cared about the story. Any products mentioned in my MSTing or host segments are the sole property of its creators/owners. Ranma 1/2 is the sole property of Rumiko Takahashi. Michelle is my character. If you want to use her (as if) you may. Just notify me about it. Now, on with the show Roll season X credits song: In the very future, we're down in Deep 13. Dr. Forrester and T.V.'s Frank Are hatching a kooky scheme. They found a girl by the name of Michelle, The friend of a guy they were putting through hell, Their experiment needed another test case, so they konked her on the noggin, And they shot her into space. (Michelle: Please no lemons!) We'll send them cheesy fanfics, the worst we can find (lalala) they'll have to sit and watch them all and we'll monitor their minds (lalala) Now keep in mind they can't control when the fanfics begin or end They'll try to keep their sanity with the help of their robot friends ROBOT ROLL CALL Cambot "Where is he?" Gypsy "Maintenance girl no more!" Tom Servo "Fanboy extrordinaire!" Crooooooooooww! "Hentai man!" If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts (lalala) Just repeat to yourself "It's just a fanfic, I should really just relax!" For Mystery Fanfic Theatre 3000! (TWAAAANG!!!) Reverse door sequence On the bridge, there's a large-screen television with a Playstation hooked up to it. Tom and Crow are sitting in front of it, playing away. Mike and Michelle are watching from a safe distance. "Hey, everyone!"Mike greets. "We were able, with some strategic bribing and picures of Jody Foster from the internet, to get Frank to send us up some recreational activities. The main game that we've been playing has been Final Fantasy 7. This is Crow's first time playing it, and Tom's teaching him the ropes. Let's listen in." "All right, Crow, this game is high-paced, non-stop action, laced with a bit of comedy!" Tom says, as if he's in a comercial for the game. "You press this button to move, this one to run, and this one to talk. Now, start off by going this way." Crow pushes some buttons, and after a few minutes, Tom gets restless. "Crow, what are you doing? You're supposed to go that way. And why are you walking slow?" Crow didn't answer. "Crow, you're supposed to run! It's not fun if you don't run. It just doesn't go at the same break-neck pace if you don't run. Now run that way." Crow pushes some butons, and Tom gets even more restless. "Crow! What did I say just a couple of seconds ago? Run, or it's not as fun! Oh, wait! It's a battle! What the hell are you doing!? It doesn't matter. You won. Now, you've got to get out, or you'll die. To do that, you've got to run." A minute passes, and Tom starts fidgeting. "Crow, hurry up, or you're going to die!" A couple more minutes pass, and Tom lets out a resigned cry. "CROW!!! Now look what you've done! You're dead! Maybe you'll listen to me next time! Oh, he's just little Tom. He's just gone through this part a couple of times, he doesn't know what he's doing!" The red Mad's light starts flashing. "Guys, quick, hide this stuff!" Mike exclaims. "We don't want Dr. F to see it!" The bots and Michelle frantically work on hiding the equipment. Mike waits for them before pushing the button. Michelle stops him just before he pushes it. "Mike, why do we have to let him call us up?" Michelle asks. "What do you mean?" Mike asks. "Well, don't push the button," Michelle answers. "I'll try that." Mike stands there for a couple of minutes. All of a sudden, an electric shock runs through Mike's body. He pushes the button as he falls down. Deep 13 "Well, boobies, that's what happens when you try to disobey me! Don't do it again, or your punishment will be worse. Today's fic is a little piece called 'Lost Worlds', by Adam Sheehan. It starts out looking like a cute and cuddly self-insertion fic, then all the rules change. You find more and more anime in with the original, plus the self-insertion character. Bon appedie! Send them the fic, Frank." Sataellite of Love "Will he be okay, Gypsy?" Crow asks as Gypsy inspects Mike, who is awake. "He should be," Gypsy says. "We'll just need to keep him out of this part of the fic." "Nonsense," Mike says, "I've got to go in there for the sake of all humankind!" "Shut your mouth, Nelson," Tom says. "I'll let you in now," Gypsy says cautiously, "But the first hint of something going wrong, and you're out of there." Fanfic sign goes off, plunging the bridge into chaos. Door 6: It's a curtain of peace beads. You push them out of the way and get a whiff of marijuana smoke as you pass through. Door 5: It opens from the center, spiralling outward. Door 4: It's a castle moat. The gate falls and misses your feet by inches. Door 3: It's a wall of bone. You break it down, only to have it rebuilt by an invisible force. You decide to go around it instead. Door 2: It's in the shape of a heart. You board a small ship and ride it through the door. Door 1: It's a vault door. The center ring swirls and the door opens easily. Mike walks in, carrying Tom, and they sit in their usual seats. Michelle sits in the fourth seat from the right, with Crow on her right. Tom is still going on about Crow and Final Fantasy 7. "Are we all ready for a probable otaku?" Mike asks apprehensively. "It's been a while since we've had a good self-insertion. Well, if I can use the term 'good'," Tom says. "The last one that I remember was that James character," Crow says. (Episode one for me. Not posted) >Lost Worlds Tom: The sequel to "Jurassic Parks". >Chapter 1 >A World Unlike Our Own Michelle: (singing) A whole new world >Author's notes: Well this first chapter is background info about this story. >It's not that long, Mike: Oh, please let him be talking about the story. >so please read it. It is good for this chapter that youknow the story >behind Ranma 1/2. It won't make much sence if you don't. Crow: Ranma doesn't make much sense anyway, so >If you don't understand Ranma 1/2's story, please take a look at my >Ranma page.E-mail me with any comments you might have. >mavarick7@aol.com Tom: (chief) Maverick!! >Adam Michelle: This story must have been around a long while for Adam to have written it. >CHAPTER 1 > >A World Unlike Our Own Michelle: (singing) A whole new world >I am wrighting this is now Mike: Oh, he's a pilot, is he? Tom: This is in real time? >since the longer I wait, the more likely I will forget parts of it. Crow: Could you wait a little bit longer, then? >Its been 3 days since this happened. My arm still hurts, and noboy has >seemed to noticed my disaperience. Tom: or my inablilitee to spel. >Acording to my watch I was gone only 5 minutes. Michelle: Well, this'll be a short story. >What ever realy did happen, it took more than five minutes. That I'm >sure of. Mike: Wishful thinking >Sorry for not introducing myself yet. Crow: Let's keep it that way. >The names Adam Sheehan. I live in Massachusetts on the border of >Rhode Island, and this is my story. Tom: (Adam) I first became a Power Ranger in Crow: Fanboy! >It was a nice summer morning. High 80's almost 11 a.m.. Mike: (radio announcer) It's the top of the hour, eighty degrees outside. Now, we've got for you some new music from Dave Matthews Band and Nine Inch Nails. >I decided to go for a jog this morning like I enjoy doing every now and >again. Michelle: because I'm in such perfect physical fitness. >I don't have a job Tom: And he considers this a reasonable substitute for a job? Crow: Well, he is his own boss like this. >so it gave me lots of time to do things like that when ever I wanted. Mike: like putting myself in everyone's favorite anime series. >The only real issue on my mind was leaving all my friends at the end of >the summer to go to college in Texas. My life was very good at the time. Crow: Then, there she was That Girl. >The sun was hot but the breeze compensated. I like to jog at a local park >about 2 miles from my house. Tom: Thrill as he goes for a morning jog! Michelle: See Adam. Crow: See Adam jog. Mike: See Adam accidentally run into the middle of the street, where he gets plastered by a passing sixteen wheeler. >After being there for about an hour and a half I was tired. I got a drink >of water from one of the fountains and decided to lie down on the grass >and relax for a minute. Michelle: Yeah, all that drinking really tired him out. >There was a small path leading away from the park. No one ever used it. >I went down it a couple of feet Mike: Abandon hope, all ye who enter here. Tom: Watch out for snakes! >and found a nice piece of shade under a tree down by the river. Crow: Did this turn into Huck Finn all of a sudden? Tom: Playing hookie again >I layed down on the grass. Crow: Green plants and the men who have sex with them, on the next Jerry Springer. >Closed my eyes, and fell asleep. Michelle: Something we wish we could do. Mike: (hums Mean Mister Mustard) >This is where the normality of this story ends. What would happen from >here on would change my life forever. Tom: Someone changed his sex while he was asleep? >I woke up and looked at my watch. It had been about 5 minutes >(strangely ironic) Tom: Isn't it ironic? Michelle: How so? >I felt more refreshed than a five minute nap. I realy didn't think about it Mike: or anything else >much and went back to the main part of the park. There were more >people now, and I got a weird feeling. Crow: (nauseated) Shouldn't have had that second helping at lunch >For some reason the park looked different to me. Tom: Maybe that nuclear blast had something to do with it. >I walked up the hill by the tennis courts. When I got there, much to my >amazement, the courts were gone. Mike: This is an interesting opinion on the judicial system. >There was a soccor field in its place. On the field next to it were two >girls playing Frisbee and some kids flying kites. Michelle: Memorial Day from Children of the Corn. >I then started to realized that something was wrong here. Tom: with my spelling and grammar checkers. >I then turned and saw the overview of the park stretching out before me. >Every thing was out of place. Mike: including my clothes. Michelle: You actually want to see him nude?! Mike: No, but we probably will by the end of the self-insertion. >"What the hell was going on here?" I thought. Crow: What's he worried about? He knows where he is. >I knew this park like I knew my own name. Tom: Now, what was that name? >Some thing was definatly wrong. I started walking back down the hill and >out the way I came entered it. Which was still the front of the park >though. Michelle: Is an incomplete sentence. >I walked on to the sidewalk and looked down the street. there was a town >were a a couple of restaurants Tom: He's been taking writing lessons from Koopa. >This was getting weirder by the moment. There was something rotten in >the state of Denmark. Crow: (Adam) Oh wait, that was just me. >I decided to investigate the area before me. Tom: He's having an out-of-body experience! >I started walking toward the town stil sweating from jogging. My white >'No Fear' t-shirt was midly drenched. The cut of blue jean shorts were >ok, just a little uncomfortable. Michelle: (Adam) Sure, they cut off the circulation to my legs, but that's okay! >My Nike airs were well worn in form use, they felt great. All: *ka-ching!!* >My brown hair still was beading sweet in my face though. It wasn't bad >though. I kept walking. Mike: though. >When I got in to town every thing looked so much like some of the >Japanese cities I have seen watching anime over the last couple of years. Crow: So, it looks like the Apocalypse has passed and evil robots are running rampant Tom: Maybe it looks like rubble from all the battles taking place. >I saw a guy who looked about my age leaning against a wall. He was >warring a yellow shirt of some kind, Crow: (guy) I'm calling you out, shirt! >brown pants, and carried an umbrella next to him. Mike: Mary Poppins' husband >He was reading book called,The Klutz guide to directions around Japan. Tom: Considering how many anime characters fit that bill, that book must be on the best-sellers list. >I had to talk to somebody, anybody, to help me figure out what was going >on. He even had a map, so it was ia good chance to get some helpful >information. I soon learned that anything is possible. I walked up and >asked," pardon me," he looked left and then looked right to see me >standing there," Mike: Look left Look right Now look at Mister Frying Pan! >I'm kinda lost and I was wondering if you could help me ?" Michelle: (Adam) Do you know where a gaijin otaku can find a place to stay for a while? >He turned around and replied," sure, I would be glad to help." I'm not >the best with directions though. I do know someone who is though. Mr. >Tendo, he always has answers for me. Mike: Like the answer of Life, the universe, and everything. Bots: 42! >Take yesterday for example Michelle: Please! >I was trying to find the bathroom when he stopped me and told me that I >was heading for Canada. Crow: Mr. Tendo lives near Canada? >So he sent me in the right direction and in an three hours I was there. >He's a great guy." Crow: and an even greater employee! >For the strangest reson that name sounded familiar to me, I did not know >why at that point. Tom: Ten seconds to realization >I think the shock of my town not being there did it. Mike: Man, his whole town doesn't like him enough to leave? That's cold. >We started heading to the east part of town. Were walking along when he >said," I never got your name?" Michelle: (Adam) That's because I never sent it. Everyone else: (Groans) >"Sorry, I did not introduce myself, that was rude." I said. "My name is >Adam Sheehan. Nice to meet you," >He looked at me and smiled. Mike: (guy) This one will be easy to kill >" My name is Ryoga Hibiki. Its nice to meet you." Crow: (Ryoga) and now to smite your gaijin ass! >Then it hit me like a kick to the crotch. Tom: So, it made you start talking in the falsetto? >"Mr. Tendo. SOUN TENDO!" All: Ouch! (cover ears) Mike: He's doing his impression of C-ko and any other random character from A-ko: the College Years. Michelle: (Adam) Soun Tendo? I went to college with him! >That can't be right, that's impossible." I told myself. "Soun Tendo is a >fictional character, that's almost as silly as Mike: putting yourself in Ranma 1/2. Michelle: Hey! He just called Soun silly! >Getting directions from Ryoga Hibiki! My face went pale white. " Are >you OK you don't look so good?" Ryoga said. Crow: Ohhh insulting a self-inserted character! Big mistake! >My head started spinning with all this confusion. Mike: That's about our reaction. >One thing I was surtain of wa that we were going in the wrong direction >though. Crow: Because he's got the whole map of a place he's never seen memorized. >I had a better chance of finding Jimmy Hoffa before I found Soun Tendo >if I kept following Ryoga. Tom: And what do you know? There's Jimmy now! >I had to leave him and head in the other direction as quickly as possible. All: HE'S GONNA BLOW!! >I replied," I'm okay its justits justits just that Michelle: Is there an echo in here? >I saw a guy I know over there." I pointed west. Mike: It's the human compass! >He said," OK, I hope you find out where you are going." >"You to," I said. I turned and started walking west. Crow: The orienteering course from hell >Ryoga was still standing there looking around the last time I looked back. Michelle: But when he looked back, he was turned into a pillar of salt. >"What was going on here," I thought to myself. Tom: (Adam) No, screw what *was* going on here. What *is* going on here? >"This can't be real. I can't be here. here is not real. Mike: That is so deep. >It's a cartoon, not the real world." Michelle: Real World nine from Tokyo, this season on MTV. Crow: Oh, now he's dragging the works of Matchbox 20 through the mud. >I could not come to a conclusion on were I actually was. It was too >awesome to imagine. Mike: He's Bill and Ted! Crow: Well, this is obviously the Bogus Journey. >It seamed real but it couldn't be, could it? I mean there are tons of things >we just do not know, but this was stretching possibilities. When you >illiminate the possible all you have left is the impossible. Tom: That's logic for you. Crow: He's doing his impression of a philosopher. Mike: (British accent) I didn't know that Nische was a philosopher. Michelle: I think, therefore, this fic sucks. >This was the only thing that kept me from going mad with dissolution. >More importantly, I needed to find not where I was but how I got there. >How do I get back? Crow: Why are you asking us? You're the author! >So I decided to take just this world at face value for now. Deal with it as >best I could. Tom: More elaboration than Sailor Mercury. >I kept walking west, there were a lot of shops of all different kind. A lot >which I had never seen before. I saw a restaurant down the street. Michelle: Man, he doesn't get out much to have not seen a restaurant. >I could smell the food from were I was standing. I almost forgot that I >was hungry (going to to another world will do that to you). Mike: Well, that makes perfect se hey! >I decided that I would stop in for something to eat. the sign on the banner >above the store read, Tom: "Bubba's Roadkill Barn" Crow: "Girls, girls, girls!!!" Mike: Crow! >'Uchans Okonomiyaki.' "I know this place," I thought. "This is Ukyo's >restaurant." >"I walked in. It was a quaint place-paper type walls, hard wood tables, a >bar, and a huge grill behind it, nice. Tom: What's a "nice"? Michelle: I think it's kind of like a wok. >I walked up to the bar and sat down. A girl warring black leotard pants, >a purple shirt. Mike: Fight! Fight! Fight! >There were straps going across her chest holding little metal spatulas,She >had long black hair and a nice smile. In a second, I kndew it was Ukyo. Crow: Rough estimate, of course. >She came up and said," welcome to Uchans! What can I get you?" >I just sat there for about a minute thinking," Tom: I smell smoke >wow, I'm talking to Ukyo in her restaurant, this is so cool, I can't explain >it." Mike: Then why are you trying to write this story? Crow: To torture us. >"hey! Can I help you? You don't look so good?" Michelle: oh, more insults to the otaku! >she said starring at my aweish face. Tom: Now, there's a word that my computer's spell checker wouldn't recognize! >I quickly snapped out of it and said," no, no, I'm OK, I was just a bit >dazed for a moment." She nodded in compassion. Mike: (Ukyo) I understand completely, now let me get your cyanide. >"I would like to have one medium cheese pizza and a large Montain >Dew," I answered. Michelle: No relation to Mountain Dew. Tom: It's the offspring of Surge, which was the offspring of Mountain Dew. >She looked at me with confusion and then it hit me, pizza is Okonomiyaki >in Japanese you idiot. Crow: A desperate attempt by the author to deflate his own ego. Mike: Why would it make a difference if it was said "pizza" if they're speaking English the rest of the time? Michelle: Details, details, details >I quickly said," I mean a medium cheese Okonomiyaki and some orange >juice, please." Crow: The Floriians are going to get on him for that remark. >She still looked a little confused but she headed to the grill and started >cooking. Tom: Hopefully, Akane was subbing for her at the stove. Michelle: (news announcer) And in the news today, several cases of food poisoning broke out in the Nerima district. One of the unfortunate victims was one Adam Sheehan, an annoying tenager from another dimension. >I started looking around at the people in the place and became very >amazed about what I saw. At one table there were two kids drinking >milkshakes that I recognized as Molly and Melvin from 'Sailor Moon.' Crow: Does their diet consist solely of milkshakes or something? It's like that's all they're ever doing in these fanfics. >I could even hear Molly talking with her hard accent Mike: (Molly) Hey, Melvin! Check out that dork who tried to order in english! >telling Melvin to shut up about the internet. I looked around at another >table and saw a blue-haired girl talking to a little kid with weird black >hair and a tail. Michelle: He stormed in on the filming of "That Girl"! >"Goku and Bulma", I said quietly ," this world must be a mix of all anime >characters not just of Ranma 1/2 characters." Crow: That makes crossovers more convenient. Tom: I swear! If all the anime series were combined, that city would be rubble from all the good/evil battles, duels, and scientific experiments gone wrong! Mike: So, this place is kind of like Club Anipike. >I looked to my right and to stools down was Slade and Star from >'Teknoman.' I would know them any where. Michelle: Of course, we wouldn't >Slade gave me a nod of acknologement and I nodded back politely. Ukyo >came over and placed a big plate of Okonomiyaki in front of it. "Here >you go," she said. Mike: (Ukyo) and Kodachi even helped make it! >"Thank you," I said and started eating," can I ask you some thing?" >"She smiled and said," sure honey, go ahead." Crow: (Adam) Will you become my slave? Mike: Nah, he wouldn't ask >"Do you know where the Tendo dojo is?" I'm looking for Soun Tendo," >I asked. >Her eyes got wider and said," Michelle: My God!! Her eyes can talk?! What science fiction film is she a reject from? Mike: One which we'll probably be watching soon. >Tendo dojo. I know exactly were it is. My fiancee Ranma honey lives >there. Tom: Who is this girl? A bee? Everyone's honey to her. >You go straight up this road until you see a little park and its the street to >your right." >"Thank you," I replied. >"What are you looking for Mr. Tendo for anyway?" She asked >inquisitively. Michelle: I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition! Mike: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! >I said," I need his help with a location problem of sorts." Mike: (Adam) I need help finding Waldo Crow: (Adam) And I'm sure that he knows how to handle my problem. >"Well He's a great guy. I'm sure he can help you." Tom: He'll write it in somehow. >"I hope so." >I finished the meal, fairly quickly. I was finishing up my OJ Mike: Guilty! Michelle: Not Guilty! >when Ukyo came over and said, " that will be 250 yen please." Tom: That's how much in American? Two dollars? Mike: I'd love to eat there. >I reached into my back pocket and grabbed my wallet. I opened it and >then I realized something. Crow: The red stuff on the pizza wasn't tomato sauce. >I didn't carry yen. Not much use for it were I was from. How was I >going to pay for it. Mike: Who said anything about paying? This is your story! >I looked up compassionately and said," uh, do you take dollars?" >She looked at me with surprise and said, "No, I'm sorry we don't." Tom: (Ukyo) But I could take your soul instead. Michelle: Nah, he already sold it when he wrote this story. Mike: (Ukyo) There's only one thing for us to do. Stick your finger down your throat Crow: That'd lower the resale value. Mike: But it'd probably still be better than Akane's cooking. >"Then I don't have any money," replied. 5 minutes later I found myself >in the kitchen doing dishes. Mike: (Adam) with my amazing mental powers! Tom: (annoying kid from Pod People) Adam, you can do magic! >Ukyo told me that I needed to wash dishes for an hour to make up for the >food I ate. Michelle: whjich means that he'll be actually working for ten minutes tops. >It seamed fair Crow: He works for Wranglers! >since I had no yen, that also ment that I Tom: would have to write the typical self-insertion hospitality towards a gaijin. >needed to find some place that would exchange dollars for yen. Michelle: Here's a clue. It's called a *bank* >So that I could have some money for goods and services. A half hour >passed and the restaurant ws booming so there was a lot of work for me. Mike: and your excuse? >I use to work at a restaurant, so I was us to the work load. Mike: Thank you of sorts. >All of a sudden I heard a crash and a women scream," Give that back you >old lecher!" Crow: (Adam) Are you talkin' to me? >"Ha, ha! I don't think so," another voice yelled. >I turned around looking through the curtain that separated the back room >from the kitchen. Then all of a sudden I see this little old man come >running towards me holding some beef on a stick and a big bag of >women's underwear. Tom: Bob Packwood of the munchkins, ladies and gentlemen! >There were bra's and panties falling all over the floor. Michelle: Someone blew up the Victoria's Secret Warehouse! >He jumped on my face and knocked me down. Crow: He's a face-hugger! Tom: We wished. >three women and Ukyo came charging after him. Mike: Shields up! >I got trampled in the commotion, but for some reason it didn't hurt that >much. the bruises seemed to just rub off. Mike: Attack evaded >I qiuckly got up and ran out the back door where they were still chasing >him around. Tom: (Adam) Screw them, I'm out of here! And wait until they see what a second rate job I did on those dishes! >I now realized that it was the old pervert Happosia, Crow: Who? We know *Happosai*, but who's *Happosia*? >that pain in the ass master of Soun and Genma. Michelle: Stop torturing that donkey! >Then a thought crossed my mind," Tom: Why do I keep smelling smoke? >if this is anime, I wounder if I can do some of the crazy stuff they do in >it." Michelle: Here comes the goofy part Crow: This whole fic has been the goofy part so far. >I decided to try to stop Happosia from his reckless gallivanting. Tom: Someone's figured out how to use their thesaurus. >I saw him running back my way and it appeared to me that he did not see >me yet. I ran up to him, grabbed him by his head, through away the bag, Michelle: (Adam) I'll be taking this for myself! >and gave him a big kick as fast as I could. Mike: Martial Arts Master! Crow: (Adam) I could take Ranma in two rounds! >He went flying into the air with a wild scream. Tom: (yells like Tarzan) Michelle: (Fred Flintstone) WIIILLLMAAA!!! Mike: One of these Days, Alice, one of these days! >I stood there looking at the little man rocket in the sky, Michelle: Houston, we have a problem >until he went out of site. This was amazing that I could do it, I was going >to ask how but I think that it would fall under the same category as where >I am (the don't ask category) Mike: Between the "Don't know" category and the "Don't care" category. Crow: The "Don't care" category being the one that we fall under. >Ukyo and the three other girls came running over. They snatched up >their belongings from the bag on the ground. Michelle: (Adam as Homer Simpson) Mmmm panties >Ukyo then came over and said," Thank you very much, he can be a real >pain in the fanny Tom: (Ukyo) Oh, I've got to watch my language. Let me go wash my mouth out with soap! >some times. You have my gratitude, so you can stop doing dishes and I'll >buy you a drink." Mike: Wooo! Open a new kegger! Let's have a little drunk-fu! Tom: That sentence goes on and on and on and on and Michelle: We get the idea. >I thanked her and helped them pick up the underware on the ground. Michelle: He's only picking those up because he thinks touching underware counts as copping a feel. >I went up front were she gave me a glass of some sort of soda Crow: (Ukyo) How do you like your sulfuric uh coke! >It had Ultraman in the side of the can. Crow: (Ultraman) Help! Get me out of the side of this can! >"I never got your name?" she said. Tom: (Adam) Maybe I should have sent it FedEx. >"It's Adam. Adam Sheehan, Mike: Secret agent double-o annoying. >nice to meet you," I replied. She then said," I'm sorry I never introduced >myself ether, my name is Ukyo. Ukyo Kounji." Mike: Secret agent Double-o Spatula. >"I know," I said bravely. >She looked very confused and surprised. "How do you know who I am?" >she said. Michelle: (Adam) I know everything about you thanks to my network of spies. >I then realized that there was no way that she could understand my >problem, Tom: Oh, and Soun will? Mike: Just smile and nod, Tommy Boy. >so I had to tip toe around it. Crow: His problem is tulips? She might understand that. >I said," Well, it's kinda hard to explain. It's weird, Michelle: (chanting) I before E, except after C >I know a lot of people here but I have never been here. I don't even >know where here is. All I know is that I was in a park and now it looks >like I'm in Japan. Tom: It's kind of like that episode of Rocky and Bullwinkle. Michelle: Which episode? Tom: Take your pick. >She looked at me with that aweish look again. "Well that is pretty weird. >Well, you are in Japan. Actually you're in the town of Nerima. that has >to be one of the strangest stories I've ever herd," she said. Mike: Get along, little doggies! Crow: (Ukyo) Except for this story about this guy and some robots getting stuck in a Satellite and being forced to watch bad movies. >"Ya, it's very damn strange and I don't know what to do. I'm heading to >the Tendo dojo to talk to Soun Tendo since he is man Tom: hear him roar. >who knows how to deal with weird problems like mine. So you beleiev >me?" Michelle: (Ukyo) If I could understand you, I might. Tom: (Ukyo) No, but since you did the dishes, I'll say yes. >"Why not. A lot of crazy and misterouse Mike: Who's Mister Ouse? Sounds French. >things happen around here. Anythings posible." Crow: Except Mission Impossible. All: (Mission Impossible) Duh-duh-duhduh-duh-duh-duhduh >"Ain't it the truth." I replied. "Do you know were I can change dollars >to yen?" Tom: (Ukyo) At any of the thousands of banks in this city. >Ukyo said," the arcade down the street has a change both which will >change currency for you." Michelle: Ironically, it changes dollars to lira. >I finished my drink and said thank you. Tom: (Adam) I then stumbled out. Maybe I would need a designated driver. No, I wasn't that drunk. >On my way out the door she said with a smile," I hope you find out what >happened to you. While your here you might as well enjoy yourself. >Hmmm, how shall I put this this is one interesting town." Crow: Especially at night, nudge nudge. Mike: Crow Michelle: No, we thought that it was two interesting cities. >Ukyo was right even though I didn't know were I was, it didn't mean that >this was a bad place to be. Mike: Sure, just ignore the buildings being demolished by the frequent battles between good and evil. >Actually, this could be considered a dream come true in some cases. I >mean how many people get to visit a world like this. Especialy an anime >fan like me. Tom: If he's a representative of the anime fans, then I don't want to be one any more. >The people here are from all the stories I loved to read. All the strange >and exiting adventures that happen here, Crow: Hey, the adventures are leaving! Come back here! We need something remotely resembling a plot in this fic! >I will be part of. Tom: the crowd, watching from the sidelines. >Also, therules of being in Anime apply to me as well. Which means that >not many things can actually hurt as much as the would in real life. >Getting trampled by four girls normally would brake a bone Michelle: *Screeech*!! >or at least leave a bruise and there is not one on me. This is the >opportunity of a life time. Tom: Is this guy related to Sailor Mercury? He can elaborate like her on one of her better days! >This might be paradise, but it isn't my home though. It could be nice, but >I want my life back. Mike: (Adam) Living without my parents, meeting new and interesting people, fighting along side the best champions? Not for me! >I walked in to the arcade and looked around at the mass carnage towards >the game's people were playing. Crow: Tokyo chainsaw Massacre Mike: Sounds like a Bane fic. >I walked past the front rows of the arcade to the little cafe in the back. >Next to the cafe was the exchange booth. it was wierd that they had a >currance exchange in an arcade. I tryed not to think about it. Tom: Exactly what we try to do. >To my surprise Birdy from 'Sailor Moon' was running the both. Mike: When did she get out of the cosmetics industry? >She was >still warring the light blue color that was her style. Michelle: How do you fight a color? >This time it was blue jeans and a light blue T-shirt. "Hello," I said with a >smile. " >Hello. How can I help you on this fine today?" She replied. Crow: How did he get a parking ticket? He doesn't even have a car. >"Fine, thank you. "I would like to exchange 20 dollars for Yen, please." I >said. I handed her the money and she took it kindly. She processed >something on the computer and in about five minutes Tom: What is this affixation with five minutes? >I got my money. I said thank you and headed towards the front door. Michelle: (Adam) where I was arrested by security guards because I didn't look so good. >As I walked by all the video games I decided, why not play one of them. Mike: And he beats all of them in five minutes flat. >I went and got some change from the change machine. Tom: (sarcastically) No, we thought that you'd get it from the washing machine! >I looked around to see what to play. I saw many fantasy games. >Ultraman 23, Godzilla vs. aliens, and Street fighter 7. Then I saw Sailor- >V, the video game, so I threw in a coin. Crow: Fast curve ball >I lasted as long as Serina normally did. I was less than happy. I looked >down at my watch. It said 1:15. Tom: (singing) Grabbed my coat, grabbed my hat. Made the bus in seconds flat. >I then looked at the clock on the wall, and it also said 1:15. Well at least >the times the same. Michelle: (church lady) How conveeenient! >I decided to leave and again start heading to the Tendo dojo. I walked out >and saw Andrew, from Sailor moon as well, at the door. I said," Hi >Andrew." Mike: (Andrew) Hi, person who I've just met and will obviously become friends with! >He said Hi, then looked at me with really confused look. I laughed. Michelle: It was a sadistic laugh. Tom: (Adam) It's fun to mess with people's minds! >I walked down the street and felt the sun on me and remembered Birdy >talking about this fine day. She was right, the weather here was just like >it was back at home, a very nice day. A little hot but had a cool breeze >blowing. Crow: No one will be seated during the "Strolling to the Dojo" scene! >I walked down the street until I got to the little park Ukyo wsas telling me >about. When I got there I saw a small figure leaning against a tree >enjoying the surroundings, Tom: SNIPER!!! >it was Gally from 'Battle Angle'. Mike: This story just isn't *right*! Michelle: Then it's *obtuse*? Mike: Yeah, and I think that it's giving me an *acute* case of indigestion. Tom: The Angle skit, ladies and gentlemen! >the hunter warrior was playing with a little puppy. They seemed happy. Crow: Then, they noticed him. >Just then I heard a loud rumbling and felt the earth move. Mike: Did the earth move for you, too? >I turned around and saw a huge tank barreling down on me. Michelle: It's the original Donkey Kong! >I ran to the side and jumped onto a wall quicker than lightning. The tank >came crashing through destroying part of the wall I was standing on. I >managed somehow to stay on the wall even with the amazing destruction >going on. Crow: He's got the amazing new hover sneaker, of which there's only one pair in existence! >It flew through the park taking most of it with it. Mike: That was a muddled sentence. Michelle: The tank was falling apart in midair? >Gally grabbed the dog and leaped to roof top near by. Crow: (Gally) Come on, Rover! We're getting out of this fic before we get involved! >The tank's sirens were screaming, the flashing lights spinning like crazy. Tom: They've got movie sign! >I saw a flag coming off the top of it and in a moment I knew what it said, >Tank Police. Michelle: And he's fluent in Japanese, too! >I saw a short haired blonde girl hanging out of the top. She said," sorry!" >Leonia and her little tank Bonapard. Michelle: Isn't Leona's hair red? Tom: Details, details Mike: Wait, I don't thnk that this is the same person! Both the tank and the girl's names are spelled wrong! Crow: Maybe the Puma Twins aren't far behind her! Hope, hope, hope! >Little, like a little nuclear accident. Mike: Oh, little like Hiroshima? Tom: More like Long Island little. >Can't they ever go any where without destroying every thing in site. The >tank left huge tread marks in the cement and tore up the grass. I sighed >in relief, and the wall crumbled below me. I blacked out. Tom: No, it's our turn to sigh in relief. Crow: Brain hemorrhage! Mike: What brain? >"Hey! Wake up," a voice said. Then I felt a splash of cold water in my >face and got up in a daze choking. Michelle: Yes! Leave him to die! Mike: Feeling a bit bitter, Michelle? >I looked up and saw I was surrounded by people. They were still a bit >fuzzy but I could tell who they were easily. Tom: They forgot to shave? Michelle: No, I think that he's been captured by a group of grizzlies, and they're going to eat him! Crow: Maybe they're mutated peaches, getting revenge for that peach cobbler he had last week. >It was Ranma, Kasumi, Nabiki, and Genma. It appeeared that I was at the >Tendo dojo. I guess they carried me here. "Are you OK?" Ranma said. Mike: (Adam) Well, I've just been almost killed by a tank, but other than that >I nodded yes still coughing. "We were coming back from the market >when we fond you out cold lying in the middle of what was left of the >street, so we took you here. You have a broken finger." Crow: But thanks to an otaku's regenerative powers, he'll be well by the next day. >I looked down at my right hand and saw that my index finger had been >bandaged and I did feel some pain from it. "Thank you. Thank you very >much." Michelle: He's Elvis incarnate! Tom: Well, he obviously ain't nothing but a hound dog. Crow: I wish that he'd be singing the Jailhouse Rock. >I said gratefully. I looked past Ranma and kasumi and saw leaning against >the wall was Soun and Akane Tendo. "Soun Tendo?!" I said. Tom: No, it's Huggy Bear, OF COURSE IT'S SOUN TENDO!!! >Soun looked at me with surprise and curiosity. Everyone had their eyes >on me. Then Soun said, "yes, that's my name. I'm Soun Tendo. Mike: Very repetative. Crow: (Soun) Soun Tendo is me. Tom: (Soun) I have that name. Michelle: (Soun) They do call me by that name. >Who are you?" I replied hesitantly, "My name is Adam Sheehan, sir." Michelle: (Soun) I heard about you! You're the one who didn't pay Ukyo! I'll get revenge for her! >"Sorry but I do not know you," He said respectively. >I replied quickly, "I have come along way to find you Mr. TendoI >think?" Mike: and it hurts. >"How do you know me?" Crow: (Adam) I saw you in the National Inquirer last week. >"I meet Ryoga Hibiki back in town and he told me that you could help me >with a problem." Tom: (Adam) I need to know what two plus two equals. >Everyone looked relived. The tension about whom I was, had ended with >the mentioning of Ryoga. Michelle: (Soun) Sure, he's tried to kill my son-in-law-to-be on multiple occasions, but he's an all right guy! Mike: Yeah, that's about how he is. >I was't really surprised since everyone knows what Ryoga is like. Ranma >said from the side of "Wow, you were with Ryoga and you still made it >here somehow." >Soun said calmly, "well if Ryoga got you he-Well if Ryoga told you I >was here, then I will welcome you and try to help you with your >problem. Crow: (Soun) Come, come. Just tell old Uncie Soun all about it. >Just then everyone got up and went in to the house. I was lying on the >front patio. Kasumi told me to follow. Tom: (Soun) Anyone know why we came inside? Michelle: Then, they exit again. >My sneakers were already taken off and placed neatly by the the door. I >sat around the little table in the middle of the room where everyone else >was sitting. "Tea?" Kasumi offered. Mike: (Adam) Yes, it is. >"No thank you," I replied. >Mr. Tendo sat across from me. Genma and Ranma to his left and Akane >and Nabiki to his right. Kasumi was standing be hide them serving tea. Crow: He's writing this with a cold? Mike: No, then it would be "Kasubi was stadig hehide theb servig tea." Michelle: You guys stop bending the fourth wall. >"Now, what this big problem of yours?" Mr. Tendo said after taking a big >sip of tea >"Well I hope this isn't to much to swallow. All: (various choking noises) >Its kind of a strange problem." >"I'm sure we can handle it." I took a deep breath and told them my story. >I explained everything that had happened so far today. Michelle: And the whole story took five minutes. >I talked about how I took a nap in the park and how I woke up in a >different place. I told them about Ryoga, Ukyo, Happosai, and the other >people I had met already. Crow: This guy is the man! He can elaborate about his elaboration! >When I finished I looked up to see them all in dissolution, like the first >look I had when I first got here. Mike: Rather repetative story. >A big drop went down the back of my head. "Amazing, so your saying >your from a different world, where we are all characters in comics." >Akane asked. Crow: Rather repetative story, huh? >I replied still a little nervous if they were going to belive me or not, >"That's basically my story, ya." Tom: (Dr. Strangelove) Ya, mine Fuhrer! >Genma then uttered, "If this is true, this must be very strange to you >being here." >"extremely." Michelle: Was he in midsentence, because that was supposed to be capitalized. Mike: Nitpick, nitpick, nitpick >"Well, there are a lot of strange thing that happen in the world today. I >can't think of one reason why someone would make up such a story. Crow: Then why is this guy writing this story? >I beleive you, Tom: (Genma, thinking) Cukoo! Cukoo! >and I will try to help you find your world. In the mean time you can stay >until you find your way home," Mr. Tendo said. >I said very gratefully, "thank you, thank you very much. If there's >anything I can do to repay you, just name it." Michelle: (Soun, darkly) Give me your soul! Mike: Nah, we already did that one. >They all got a mirk on here face, which made me uncomfortable for some >strange reason. Another big drop went down the back of my head. "Well >there is one little thing you could do." Mr. Tendo replied. Crow: I have a feeling that this will turn into a lemon Michelle: (slaps Crow) Don't you ever say that! You had your chance, and you blew it! If you wanted to see a lemon, you should have been here to help us when we were faced by the tentacles and lesbians of anime, but noooo, you were off somewhere (continues ranting) A few minutes later Mike: Feel better, Michelle? Michelle: Much. >The next thing a new a was repairing every hole in the dojo that someone >had made fighting. Tom: Anybody know what a "new a" is? >It seemed like every time I boarded one up, someone kicked a new one in. Mike: (police officer) We've got some domestic disturbances at the Tendo dojo. Requesting backup. >In about an hour or three I finished my work and I was still grateful for >them letting me stay with them, but I was still very tired. It had been >along day and it was only 4:30 in the afternoon. I wandered into the dojo >where Ranma and Akane were training. Tom: Any body figured out why this guy can spell "where" some time and spell "were" the rest? Mike: Just smile and nod. >Ranma was doing jump kicks against a large frame board shaped like a >ladder. Crow: Practicing to be like Jackie Chan. >Akane was practicing her form with a bo, sparring with the air. Tom: and losing to it. >They seemed to be finishing when I got there. Ranma took a deep breath >and then went over to a table against the wall and got a glass of water. In >a minute Akane joined him. I walked over and said, Michelle: (Adam) You guys really can't fight, can you? >"wow, you guys are just as skilled as I've read." >Ranma turned around, he saw me standing there and said, "How well do >you know us from these stories?" Mike: (Adam) I've never read 'em. >I replied honestly, "I know a lot about every one in this town that I have >seen so far. I know about your curse, Ranma." Crow: That would be Akane. > He looked a bit pale when I told him that. "I know about all the curses >that your friends have. Tom: That would be knowing Ranma. >I know of many different stories of a lot of people in this town. I also >know that you two do really love each other, your just to stubborn to >admit your feelings." Michelle: So he's turned into Dr. Ruth now? Mike: There are a lot of psychiatrists in fanfics. >BONG! All of a sudden I was struck with a large mallet that they both >were swinging together. All: SEEN IT! Crow: If this guy doesn't stop getting hit on the head, he'll hurt his brain! Tom: Do I sense a tone of concern in your voice? Crow: No, that's hope you're hearing. >It had some writing on the side of it. It was in Japanese but I knew what >it said, blunt instrument. Michelle: Actually, it said Acme Mallet Company. Mike: Just smile and nod. >"How could you ever think I could ever love a pervert like him." Akan >yelled. >Then Ranma added, "Pervert! At least sometimes I have a feminine side. Crow: A very masculine feminine side, but a feminine side nonetheless. >You on the other hand are built like a brick, a really bad cook, and as >violent as a gorilla." Tom: Leave Miss Satsuki out of this! >It just hit me, no pun intended, Tom: Get thee to a pun-nery! Crow: He belongs in the pun-itentiary! Mike: This isn't very pun-ny. Michelle: We should be pun-ished. >that any time someone brings up their relationship it starts an argument of >biblical perportions. I got up from my daze of confusion and they were >fighting again. They were starting to make more holes. So I decided that >this was the operable time to leave. Tom: Adam's read the dictionary twice through rhe whole way. Mike: He found it interesting end mentally stimulating. >As I left I could still here them arguing. "Pervert, pervert, pervert!" >Akane voiced. Michelle: Cliche, cliche, cliche! >Ranma's reply was, "I don't know what's going to kill me first, your >cookies or your soup!" Crow: I don't know what's going to kill me first, this fic or the acting therein! >I walked out and looked into the garden. There were gold fish in the >pond and lilies in the flower bed, finally a moment of peace. Tom: The calm before Adam getting his brains splattered by a passing youma. >"So what do you think of town?" A voice said as it put its hand on my >shoulder. >I must have jumped ten feet in to the air. I turned around and saw Genma >standing there drinking some tea. "Uh, Mr. Saotome you startled me." I >said shakingly. Michelle: (Genma) No, you always jump "ten feet in to the air" when somone hails you. >He said with a smile, "I'm sorry to scare you, son. Isn't it a beautiful >day?" >I nodded yes. "This must be very confusing to you, I mean being in a >place so far away from your home. Mike: (Adam) Not really, considering the fact that I'm controlling the action. >So how are you holding out?" >"I'm OK, its just that it's been a long day."I replied. >"It must be." Genma said, "Well don't worry, we will find some way of >getting you home. Even if we don't, this is a great place to live. Mr. >Tendo might even let you marry one of his daughters if you are lucky. Crow: Well, considering that this is a self-insertion fic, Adam'll probably end up with all the Tendo girls, all the Senshi, A-ko, B-ko, C-ko, and Shampoo pining for him. >Nabiki would be good." He gave me the old wink, wink, nudge, nudge >look. Tom: The whirring sound that you are hearing would be Graham Chapman turning over in his grave. >I said much more calmly than before, "thakn you Mr. Saotome. I feel >very welcomed here. You're just as nice as I thought that you'd be. Crow: (Genma) Now, there is the little detail about how you're going to pay for your visit here. Mike: No, that would be Nabiki. >I'm just a little dazed from all of this." >"Don't worry about it." He said. "Why don't you take a nap in Ranma's >room for a couple of hours. I'll wake you when dinner is ready." Mike:(Genma) Now, you're going to have to ask Pat, Twister, Crys, James, and the others to make some room for you in there. >"You know, That sounds like a good idea." I said. >Genma said, "his room is" Crow: (Genma) right through the firing range. Ignore the firing squad. (laughs darkly) >"I know where it is, I remember it from the videos, but thanks." I said >and walked upstairs. I got to his room and lied down. In about two >seconds I fell a sleep. It has been along Tom: Hard Road Out of Hell. >day. So far. > >Chapter 2: A Night to Remember Michelle: That title does not bode well for us lemon-haters. (The door opens, letting everyone out to the next host segment) To continue the MSTing, go to the next part, when it's posted. Or E-mail me for a preview at: jehdjh@worldnet.att.net You can send C&C, praise, flames (alhough those aren't helpful), or anything else right here! One part down, five to go, and this wasn't even the longest (dear Lord, help us all)!
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