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Dragon One-forth 

A Ranma one-half, Dragon Half, and Tenchi Muyo crossover MSTing

Original fic by: Ammadeau

MSTing by: M.H. Torringjan

	I was surfing the net for fics, and I saw this one and I said, "Hey, a 
Ranma fic!  It's been a while since I've done one of those."  So I figured that 
I'd do it.  Usual stuff here.  I don't own this fic.  Ammadeaus does.  I don't 
own MST3K.  Best Brains does.  I don't own Pokemon.  Game Freaks and Nintendo 
do.  I don't own Ranma one-half.  Rumiko Takahashi does.  I don't own Tenchi.  
I'm just really pissed at him for hosing Ryoko and getting together with Sakuya.
As for the fractions, stupid MS Word 2000 automatically changes the numbers to a 
fraction symbol that wouldn't show up on the Net.  Oh, well.  Also, I don't own 
any of the random products that I may mention during the course of this MSTing.  
They are owned by their respective creators.

So, if there is nothing else...

In the not-too distant future,
Next Sunday A.D.
There were some bitchin' trainers,
Pokemon trainers to you and me.
They wandered 'round the world to become the best,
Trying to beat out all the rest,
They did well for a while,
But then they lost one little battle
And were shot into space
(Ash: Pi-ka-chuuuuuuuuuu!!!)
We'll send them crapy fanfics,
The worst we can find(la, la, la!)
They'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor their minds.(la, la, la!)
Now keep in mind Ash can't control when the fanfics begin or end
He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his trainer friends!

(Poke roll call!)

Cambot!
(We're on!)

Misty!
(Splish, splash!)

Michelle!
(I'm not a trainer)

Broooooock!
(Hentai baka!)

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a fanfic, 
I should really just relax!"
For Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000!(TWAAAANG!)

Reverse door sequence

	The scene opens on the bridge, where Michelle is sitting, reading a book.  
She turns a page.  A few minutes pass.  She turns a page again.  A few more 
minutes pass.  She turns yet another page.
	"Real exciting, isn't it?" Michelle asks, looking at Cambot.  Cambot 
shakes his lens.  "Well, not much is going on here to-"  Michelle is interrupted 
by Ash and Brock entering dressed in a green button-down shirt and orange 
shorts.
	"Hello, everyone!" Brock says, smiling widely.  "We'd like to welcome you 
to the tour of our facilities!  We are proud to have everyone here that is 
interested in our program for the summer!"
	"Guys, what's going on here?" Michelle asks.  "It's not summer, and what 
program?  What's with the get-up?"
	"Misty didn't tell you?" Ash asks incredulously.  "We were wondering why 
you hadn't dressed for the ceremonies!"
	"No, Misty has been off filming some fanfic for some guy named Bob Gaboo," 
Michelle says.  "And you still haven't told me what the heck's going on here."
	"All right, we'll just have to run this show without you!" Brock says 
confidently.  "Ash!  Make sure that Michelle's payment is docked for today."
	"Ummm, we don't get paid, Brock..." Michelle protests.
	"Now, as we were saying," Ash continues, "We would like to welcome you to 
the tour of the facilities here at Camp MPT3000, where our motto is, 'We are 
just here!'  Now, let us begin by showing you our plan for the summer.  We plan 
to teach these kids how to do exactly what we do for a living.  Now, how are we 
going to do this, you may ask?  Well, our plan moves in many different parts.  
The first part of our plan is to give the kids what we like to call a 'high-pain 
threshold'-I mean a 'high-fun experience'!  At Camp MPT3000, we have a wide 
variety of entertainment, such as a swimming lake, a climbing tower, and a wide 
library of movies and reading selections, which we read and watch many nights!"
	"Ash, what are you talking about?" Michelle asks.  " We don't have a lake 
or a tower, or any movies or books that anyone would want to read.  All we have 
movie-wise is Star Wars: Episode 1, Waterworld, and Lost In Space."
	"Make sure that Michelle's payment is docked for the rest of this week," 
Brock says.
	"Hush, Michelle!" Ash says.  "We're filming our promotion video!"
	"Ash, you're not going to get away with this," Michelle comments calmly.
	"Why not?  We got the Mads' permission to do it," Ash replies.  "Hey, we 
can edit this little bit out, right, Cambot?"  Cambot nods.
	"Our cuisine here has been voted the best in the Camp MST chain," Brock 
continues.  "Our typical menu is as follows:

7:00-10:00-Breakfast
10:00-12:00-Continental Breakfast
12:00-2:00-Brunch
2:00-5:00-Late Risers' Breakfast
5:00-9:00-Third Shift Breakfast

"Your kids will really get a bang out of our 'Objectivism; the Famous Ayn Rand' 
course at camp, a program especially for rocket-scientists (literally).  Our 
Multi-variable calculus classes will be enjoyed by all from cradle to coffin!  
The courses in classical opera will teach the children how to appreciate art 
before they can spell correctly!"
	Michelle gapes at the claims made by Brock.  "Brock, we can't tell them 
that we can do that!"
	"Why not?" Brock asks.  "Now, as we were saying, just send 500 dollars to 
the address at the bottom of your screen, and-
	Michelle exclaims, "Cambot, stop recording now!"  She activates a security 
device on the record activity for the satellite.
	"Michelle, we were just trying to make some money to get down from here," 
Brock explains.  Just then, the red Mads' light began flashing.
	"I'll explain this to you later," Michelle says as she presses the 
flashing button.

Deep 151

	"Hello, Boobies!" Jessie says as the channel opens between the two places.  
The lab is full of people and junk that is normally stored in corners.  "Today 
in Deep 151, we're having a bit of a yard-sale, inspired by our good friend, 
Dexter."
	A person walks in front of the camera and stares at the trainers and 
Michelle.  "Hay, R those 4 sayle?" the redneck asks.
	"No!  Move away from there and keep looking, you rube!" Jesse exclaims.  
The redneck glares at her with a dull, threatening look.
	A person with a British air walks up to James, holding a flux capacitor.  
"Hello, how much is this?"  James stares at it blankly.
	"I didn't even know that we owned one of those," he replies.  "I'd say ten 
bucks."
	The woman frowns.  She opens her purse and looks in it closely.  "How 
*much* do you need it...?  Enough to pay ten...?" she asks the inside of her 
purse (or something inside it).  She looks back at James  "You know, the yard 
sale down the street had one for five.  Could you match it?"
	"We have a street near here?!" James asks.  "Why don't people tell me 
these things?!  Sure, I'll take four bucks!"
	Meowth is selling a collection of his past charms to other Meowths.
	"This one is from the time that I was in the Pokemon League at Indigo 
Plateau," Meowth says slyly to a female Meowth.  "Granted, I got to the 
semifinals and lost, but still, I was there!"
	"All right, everyone, who's doing their inventions first?" Jesse asks.

	"Well, I guess that we'll go ahead and go," Michelle says.  She brings out 
a machine with a small satellite dish connected to it.  "This week, we were 
having fun with the series of games from Maxis, the Sim- games.  We looked at 
the whole series, and we realized that we weren't seeing the games that we 
wanted.  We decided that we'd do something about it!  Enter the Maxisizer!  This 
machine reads your thoughts and creates a game based upon those thoughts.  It 
even programs the most minute detail, such as weather and weekends and holidays!  
Ash will demonstrate."
	Ash steps in front of the machine, which emits a green beam aimed at his 
skull.  A moment later, a CD pops out of a slot, which is caught by Michelle and 
popped into a conveniently-placed computer (Windows 98, of course).
	"Now, Ash, what was your Sim- game supposed to be?" Michelle asks.
	"Sim Aquarium," Ash replies.
	"That's a redundancy if I ever heard one," Brock comments.  A program 
appears on the screen called SimMarshmallow.  You are able to observe the 
chemical makeup of the puff to see how it goes, watch it go down the digestive 
tract of someone, and burn it to figure out its calorie count.
	"Okay, so it still has a few glitches," Michelle admits.  "What do you 
think, people?"

	"Not bad," Jesse says.  "Actually, it's similar to what we invented for 
this week.  We were playing the Sims, and we decided that it wasn't quite as 
close to reality as we wanted it to be.  We decided that we'd do something about 
it, too.  So we invented the Similator!"  James rolls out the aforementioned 
invention, which resembles a small cryo-stasis cell.  "This invention integrates 
two of the most innovative inventions in Mad Science: the shrinking ray, and the 
mind-control device.  Let me demonstrate."  A short, pudgy man walks up, holding 
an item for sale.  "Sir, would you like to see something incredible for sale in 
that booth?  It's cheap!"  The man drops what he's holding and rushes into the 
Similator.  The door slams shut behind him.
	"Prepare to be similated!" James says as he turns the machine on.

	"That sounds like a bad Star Trek rip-off..." Michelle comments.

	"This way, you can utilize the perfect skins for your likings, there's 
even the more real reality for the game, and you still retain omnipotent control 
over the little buggers!  They're even a bit more intelligent!"  The short, 
pudgy man steps out of the booth, even shorter and with a vapid look on his 
face.  Meowth pick him up and places him in an aquarium with a house and a pool 
in it.
	"Now then, Michelle, you and your friends get to go into that theatre and 
watch Dragon One-Forth by Ammadeau.  It's a nice little Ranma crossover with 
Tenchi where the Jusenkyo got a bit out of hand," Jesse says.

	"Well, at least it's not Spring of Drowned Fish," Michelle replies.  As 
the others tried to puzzle that out, fanfic sign goes off.

Door 6: A solid wall.  A short, gray guy points at it to make a hole in it.

Door 5: A chest of drawers. You open the top drawer and climb down into it.

Door 4: A castle gate.  The gate falls and misses your feet by inches.

Door 3: A wall of fire.  You get Squirtle to put it out.

Door 2: A large hand.  All of the fingers fold into a fist to punch through door 
	1.5 (the sheet of paper)

Door 1: A vault door.  You turn the handle and it swings open easily.

Everyone takes their seats, still trying to figure out the Spring of Drowned 
Fish.  Misty rushes in just before the fic starts.

Michelle: Welcome back, Misty!  How was the fic?
Misty: That was one of the best lemons that I've ever been in!
Brock: A good lemon?  Now that's rare...
Misty: I was surprised that Ash wasn't there!
Ash: (perks up) I'm sorry, what were you saying?  I was watching the fic.
Misty: (sighs) Never mind...

>Dragon 1/4
>(A Ranma 1/2, Dragon Half, and Tenchi Muyo crossover) 
>By Ammadeau

All: (singing) Ammadeau, Ammadeau, rock me, Ammadeau!

>Roy.Fokker@UNSpacy.org

Ash: You know, I've been considering adding a period to my name. 
Misty: Roy.  Fokker Roy.
Michelle: Shaken, not stirred?

>Note: Takes place before the beginning of the Ranma 
>manga and after episode 7 of the OAV of Tenchi Muyo

Ash: Yeah, and where do I fit in?
Misty: You're the bratty kid reading it in episode 402.
Michelle: You know, I still think that Ranma and any other series go together 
about as well as, to quote a source, cookies and ass.

>Ranma cursed his old man 

Misty: (Rocky Squirrel) Again?
Ash: What're you going to make him this time?  A three-toed sloth?

>for the umpteenth time as there 
>wasn't anything better do trudging through Chinese wilderness in 
>the pouring rain.

Michelle: Look, you're the one who wanted to join the Boy Scouts.  Stop your 
whining!

>Or more accurately, Genma trudged while his son 
>(though it was nearly impossible to make this relation at the 
>moment) flew.

Ash: Man, Akane's getting started with the kicks early on!
Misty: Or, at least, he thought he was flying.  He had really just smoked one 
too many.

>Fly is perhaps too strong a word, since he was only 
>hovering about a foot off the ground and had to keep pace with his, 
>through at the moment her, father.

Brock: You think you can get a bit more specific, Ammy?
Michelle: So, Ammadeau is really Mojo Jojo.
Ash: (Ammadeau as Mojo) Ranma, that is to say the person who is cursed to become 
a girl when splashed with water, but not just any water; cold water.  And, 
having been splashed with the aforementioned water that was the aforementioned 
cold temperature, that cold temperature being below seventy degrees, he will 
make a change, that is to say that he will no longer be Ranma, the person who is 
cursed to become a girl when splashed with cold water that is below seventy 
degrees, but Ranko, an equally cursed girl who is to become a boy when splashed 
with hot water, that water being at a temperature of above eighty-five degrees-
Michelle: That's enough, honey.

>	"Stupid pops," he muttered, glaring at the panda ahead of 
>him.

Ash: (Ranma) I *still* don't know how many licks it takes to get to the 
center!!!
Michelle: (slaps Ash)
Ash: Hey!  I didn't mean it that way!

>It was all his fault he'd been hauled all over the orient on a 
>decade long training expedition.

Brock: I'm taking bets on how many new fiancées Ranma'll have this time!

>Ranma didn't see why they 
>couldn't have just trained at home since his father was the only one 
>who ever taught him.

Misty: On the upside, he doesn't have to learn the rare "Lawn-Mowing Martial 
Arts" or the "Car-Washer Fist."

>It was all his fault that they just had to go to 
>China and while there they absolutely must visit a charming little 
>training ground which pops knew next to nothing about since he 
>couldn't even read Chinese.

Michelle: Well, except for the menus, but what can we say?
Brock: And the little bit that he learned in the porno circuit...

>Couldn't they have at least spoken 
>with the guide there first?  No, not Genma Saotome, master of 
>Anything Goes Martial Arts, he didn't need anyone's advice, 
>especially of a person who spent his whole life as the guide there!

Michelle: Well, at least he's got one person in character so far!

>	Bad enough he had to get knocked into spring of drowned 
>girl, but when Ranma had been chasing after his furry butt

Misty: And that was *before* Genma fell in his spring!
Ash: Misty, EEEW!
Michelle: (singing) Bear on the run, Bear on the run!

>to show 
>him just what he thought of this whole training expedition, he had 
>to trip over that guy and fallen into another spring, learning the 
>hard way that curses could mix with strange results.

Brock: Now, he was affected by an even rarer curse that had him turn into Liza 
Manelli whenever he was struck by cold water.

>What was that 
>guy doing there anyway?  He had looked vaguely familiar.

Michelle: After all, he never forgot a road-block.

>	Whatever, now Ranma was stuck with a curse form that 
>resembled a buxom redhead with the wings, tail, and horns of a 
>dragon.

Misty: Oh, he fell in the Spring of Drowned Demona!
Michelle: No, it's the Spring of Drowned Pixie!

>Bad enough when the wings sprouted it ruined his gi, and 
>later on when it happened again it ruined his favorite shirt.  

Ash: Oh, no!  Not his "I'm with baka!" T-shirt!

>Everywhere he went people tended to see him as some kind of 
>monster and would either run screaming in fear or try to fight him 
>out of town.

Brock: Fortunately, they were all extras from Dominion Tank Police and Bubblegum 
Crisis.

>Worst of all, he was stuck being a girl half the time 
>and stuck dealing with all the problems related to that.

Michelle: I bet that Kuno won't be quite as inclined to GLOMP you now!

>It was 
>really embarrassing.  Okay, so it wasn't all bad.

Ash: At least people were paying attention to him now!

>It was really neat 
>to be able to fly, though he still hadn't gotten the hang of it and was 
>pretty clumsy.

Misty: Maybe it was just the beer talking, though.
Ash: (Ranma, drunk) I can fly as well as any sober man!
Michelle: Still, Mousse has you beat in that area.

>He had found out rather suddenly that he could 
>actually breathe fire, which came in handy to warm water to 
>change back, only in the rain it didn't do him much good.

Misty: Sure, just blame it on the rain...
Ash: Girl, you know it's true...

>	Then there was the fact that he was a lot stronger and faster 
>in his cursed form.  That had been cool at first, the pounding he 
>had given his pop when he had caught up with him almost made up 
>for the trip.

Michelle: ...It was almost as good as having drunk a whole two-liter bottle of 
Surge, a three-liter of Jolt, and eaten five boxes of Rice-Krispies Treats 
afterwards!

>Then he thought about how he didn't even all of the 
>martial arts techniques that he'd spent a lifetime learning.

Ash: That's odd...
Misty: Well, I say he's primed and perfect!
Michelle: What a square...

>He could 
>still use them, but what was the point when he could now 
>overpower an opponent with his new speed and power?

Brock: Ummm, Timing?

>It was like 
>all of his hardships had been for nothing and that made him really 
>depressed.

Ash: Ironically, he went back to the Jusenkyo Springs to drown himself.
Michelle: ...Where he found the spring of Drowned Fish, starting a new story!
Brock: That story sounds a bit *fishy*!

>	Not helping his mood was the fact that they had not one, 
>but two pursuers.  One was a crazy Chinese Amazon seeking 
>revenge while the other was a crazy Chinese demon hunter 
>convinced that Ranma' curse form was in fact an oni.

Misty: Why not a twi?  Or a threi?

>Both had 
>been Genma's fault.

Ash: I feel an anti-fic coming on...

>	"Pops," Ranma grumbled under his breath, "Anymore 
>surprises and you'll find out how really strong this curse form is."  

Brock: (Genma, sarcastic) Well, what if I won the lottery?

>Then he started mumbling about recipes for barbecued panda.

Misty: (Ranma) Bar-B-Que Panda!  Yummy!
Ash: (Genma) Char-broiled dragon, Mmm-mmm!
Misty: (Ranma) Panda a l'orange with sautéed onions, duhrool, duhrool!
Ash: (Genma) Dragon Okonomiyaki! I should tell Ukyo about this!
Brock: (Elmer) I'm sorry, boys, but I just hunt for the sport!  I'm a 
vegetarian!
Ash: (Genma) Panda season, FIRE!!!

>	Genma was too deep in thought to pay any attention to his 
>son's rantings, but he had already heard enough of them to get the 
>point.

Michelle: (Genma) Look, I've already told you why you can't borrow the car!  
Now, shut up!

>Ranma was angry about the ways things had gone and if 
>they got any worse he was likely to do something drastic.

Ash: (Ranma) Now, you take us home or the little bunny gets it!

>After 
>witnessing what his son's cursed form could do he didn't want to 
>see that happen.

Misty: It would dredge up old 'Nam memories.
Brock: (Genma a la Cartman) They're all around me!  Guns pointed at me!

>He didn't know if he'd survive the experience.  
>Ranma couldn't see that none of this was his father's fault.  How 
>was he supposed to know those pools was what they meant by 
>'cursed' training grounds?

Michelle: (guide) Now, if you will look to left, you will see sign explaining in 
English what pools-oh, too late!

>The guidebook, what little he could read 
>of it, made the whole curses bit sound like a good thing.

Brock: (guidebook translation) Have you ever wanted to be a three-toed sloth or 
a wildebeest...?

>If the 
>place is so dangerous, why list it in a guidebook at all?

Ash: Well, it may be dangerous, but they cook up a mean "Cursed Springs Special 
Rice Ball!"

>It was just 
>like all those other things.  Ranma expected Genma to know 
>everything.

Brock: (Ranma) What's the atomic weight of Einsteinium?
Michelle: (Genma) I don't know!
Brock: (Ranma) When was the Battle of Hastings?
Michelle: (Genma) I don't know!
Brock: (Ranma) What are the four bases of DNA, and how do they pair each other?
Michelle: (Genma) For God's sake, I don't know!!!

>	But the boy wouldn't listen to reason or any of his 
>explanations.  Genma knew that his son was one step away from 
>having nothing to do with him anymore and he'd have to be careful 
>from now one.

Misty: Actually, Ranma had stopped listening when Genma started singing while 
hiking.
Brock: (Genma, singing) One-thousand bottles of saki on the wall, one-thousand 
bottles of saki!

>He established some rules for himself to get him 
>through this latest crisis, rules substantially different from what he 
>had followed up to this point.  First rule:

Ash: ...Never wear pink and yellow pin-striped suits to a funeral.

>Always think before 
>acting.  Second Rule:  Try to make sure there isn't any danger 
>ahead before proceeding.

Michelle: (Genma) Let's see here, man-eating tigers, molten hot lava, Godzilla, 
hostile natives, televangelist.  Nope, not dangerous at all...

>Third Rule:  No more surprises.

All: SURPRISE!!! (singing) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you!

>It was 
>amazing how clearly one can think when one's life hangs in the 
>balance.

Ash: Yeah, but it's the subjects that really throw you off!  Once, I was about 
to die, and I was able to completely figure out the moral significance of rice 
cakes before I was gotten out of it!

>	Genma thought about what he had planned for the boy 
>when they returned to Japan.  How would Ranma react to suddenly 
>finding he'd been engaged since birth?

Misty: Which time?

>Why any boy would be 
>thrilled to find this decision taken out of his hands and a pretty 
>wife waiting for him, but Genma had a feeling that Ranma would 
>react negatively at this, as he had to just about anything lately.

Michelle: (Genma) Yeah, I don't get it!  He gets turned into a quarter dragon, 
quarter chick, and he acts like it's a *bad* thing!
Brock: What's up with that?

>So 
>going straight to the Tendo Dojo seemed a bad idea since the 
>engagement would be like a time bomb ready to go off at any 
>minute.

Ash: But only if the story goes under 5 miles per millennium.
Michelle: Well, we're in trouble then, aren't we?!

>What Genma needed was time in a peacefully setting with 
>the boy in order to let him come to peace again so he'd be in the 
>correct mindset when the engagement was brought up.

Brock: (crossing fingers) Take him to a massage parlor!  Take him to a massage 
parlor...!

>	Staying in China was out of the question with two 
>determined people chasing them down, but Genma was sure they 
>wouldn't follow them all the way to Japan.

Misty: (Genma) Yeah, it's not like some Amazon chick who has unwittingly been 
engaged to Ranma will follow us to Japan!  No way!  Never happen!  Nope!  Sure 
wouldn't!  Uh-uh!  No, siree!
Ash: Oh, come on!  That's like some guy with no sense of direction following 
them!

>Who did he know that 
>they could stay with in Japan?

Misty: (Genma) Well, there's that nice little Tsukino family that I met in a 
dream a couple of years ago!  I don't think that Ranma's been engaged to her 
yet!

>Going home was out of the 
>question, with Ranma's curse Genma would rather face whatever 
>Ranma could dish out than Nodaka, the wellspring of his son's 
>temper.

Michelle: (Ranma) MO--------M!  Dad got me cursed and engaged me 
to a bunch of girls!
Ash: (Nodaka) Be quiet and let mommy watch her soap operas, honey!

>Dealing with her made the engagement seem simple by 
>comparison.
>	Genma suddenly remembered his cousin Nobuyuki who he 
>and Ranma had stayed with soon after the death of the man's wife.  

Michelle: And, we have CROSS-OVER!!!
All: (deadpan) Yay...

>His father in law was priest of a temple and had maintained the 
>grounds on his own.

Misty: Wow!  Fifteen hours of sweeping a day is all the upkeep required on that 
thing?  Talk about low maintenance!

>Surely he'd allow them to stay for a while in 
>exchange for them doing work around the place

Brock: ...And hey, while he was at it, maybe he could get Ranma another fiancée!

>and perhaps since 
>priests have stores of arcane knowledge he may know of a way to 
>cure them.

Ash: (Yosho) Sorry, I can't do a thing for you.  Now, if you were only under the 
girl curse, I could help you.  As is, you're too F-ed up.

>It seemed the perfect place, after all what could be 
>more peaceful than a temple?

Misty: A Disaster Area concert, considering the circumstances.

>	Soun read the postcard for the third time, scratching his 
>head in puzzlement.  'Having problems that will delay our coming 
>to the Tendo Dojo.  Will contact you and explain further as soon as 
>possible.  Genma Saotome.'

Michelle: P.S.- Have a nice, cold bath ready for Ranma when we get there, hee, 
hee...

>	Oh well, he had waited for the moment for years now, he 
>could wait a little longer.  Surely his friend knew what he was 
>doing.

All: BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

>	Nobuyuki was at peace, working on his latest project for his 
>firm.  There was something about architecture that put his soul to 
>rest and pushed all of his troubles away.

Ash: He especially enjoyed sabotaging the buildings and letting them fall to the 
ground!
Misty: (Nobuyuki) I am the Midnight Bomber what bombs at midnight!

>He was normally a happy 
>go lucky man, feeling free to live for the moment for he knew all 
>too well that it may be over in the next,

Brock: That doesn't sound like the Tenchi's dad that I know.
Michelle: That's actually the new pick-up line that he's been using with the 
chicks.
Brock: Ooh!

>but he had been troubled of 
>late.

Misty: Diarrhea is like a storm raging inside you...

>It had all started with strange visitors coming by the house.  
>At first he had reveled in the sight of so many females where it had 
>been men only for a time and watched with pride as they fought 
>over his son.

Brock: He had filmed it and sold it on the Internet as soft-core porn.  Two days 
later, he was able to retire a wealthy man...

>How manly he had become!

Ash: He had taken to singing Village people songs, watching Barbara Streisand 
movies, and quilting...!

>And he'd been so 
>worried for the boy ever since his dear mother had passed away.  
>Then things had gotten weird.

Michelle: ...Mostly because someone had insisted upon putting them all in one 
house to see what it was like when people stopped being polite and started being 
weird.

>Okay, they had been weird from the 
>beginning and Nobuyuki hadn't understood much of what was 
>going on, but hadn't really worried since none of it had effected 
>him.

Misty: Yeah, all the explosions in his house, Washu's inventions that wrecked 
the living room, none of that got to him.

>	Then Tenchi and the girls had vanished for a time and not 
>even his father in law gave a clear explanation of what had 
>happened.

Michelle: What, "They went somewhere, did some stuff, and it was cool" isn't 
clear enough for you?
Ash: Makes perfect sense to me...

>All Nobuyuki knew that they had come back with what 
>had to be the strangest girl to date with spiky red hair

Ash: Oh, no!  Crono fell in the Spring of Drowned Girl!

>and his son 
>appeared to be different somehow,

Brock: (Nobuyuki) It must be his new glasses...
Michelle: Tenchi doesn't wear glasses!  It's tragic that he's afraid to ask 
because he feels that he'll be smothering Tenchi.
Brock: (Nobuyuki) Yeah, and then we'd get the chair...
Michelle: That wasn't what I meant...
Brock: (Nobuyuki) Admit it, Michelle, it was...

>in both good ways and bad.  
>Clearly something had happened, despite how everyone denied it.  

Ash: (Tenchi) No, dad, we didn't travel to a couple of different dimensions, 
causing mayhem and disasters as we went!
Misty: (Nobuyuki) Well, that's nice to know...

>Then he had come home one day to find the beautiful house he had 
>designed completely destroyed!

Ash: He chalked it up to a Godzilla attack, seeing as how it was Japan and all 
that...

>He was so heartbroken that he 
>didn't have the strength to be angry and let his son lead him 
>through a door which should have gone nowhere,

Michelle: ...Where he was tied up with duct tape and held for a ransom by Ryo-
oh-ki for five tons of carrots.

>yet ended up in a 
>huge room that someone had called subspace.

Brock: Is that anything like the nether-regions?
Ash: Ha.
Michelle: (sighs and holds her head)

>By the next morning 
>when he was ready to be good and angry, the house was back, 
>completely untouched and in even in better shape than it had been 
>before.

Misty: Fortunately, it was upside-down and inside-out, so he still got to be 
pretty darned mad!

>All the work of a genius scientist who looked to be about 
>12, but was really much, much older.

Misty: (author) Really!  I swear!  She was so much older!  You have NO IDEA how 
old she was as compared to her looks!  I mean, if I was to show you how old she 
looked and then tell you her real age, you'd probably die of shock!  That's how 
MUCH older she was!
Michelle: Cute, Misty...

>	It all had given Nobuyuki a headache and it was clear that 
>he wasn't the only one suffering.  Even Tenchi had been moody 
>lately, which he had never been before.

Ash: It must have been his time of the month...
Michelle: (slaps Ash upside his head) That was for women everywhere, moron!

>The mistake was 
>Nobuyuki was too kindhearted, he thought.  It was a good idea to 
>invite some of those girls to stay with them,

Brock: ...Simply for the va-VOOM! Factor!

>but he should have 
>drawn the line somewhere.

Michelle: Knowing these fics, probably at a section break.

>With his father in law up at his shrine, 
>Tenchi and he were outnumbered,

Misty: This situation was what he liked to refer to as "a bug hunt."

>but the only way he could think 
>of restoring the balance would be to kick some of the girls out and 
>he simply couldn't bring himself to do that.

Ash: Each time he tried, they gave him the puppy-dog eyes, and it's just so hard 
to stay mad at them when they do that!

>Not to mention all of 
>the destructive things those girls were capable of when they got 
>mad.

Michelle: (Ayeka) So, he thinks that he can throw THE PRINCESS out of her home, 
does he?  Well, we'll see what he thinks after THE MATCH!  That's the bottom 
line, cause THE PRINCESS says so!!
Misty: Cute, Michelle...

>	The phone started to ring, bringing him out of his thoughts.  
>Nobuyuki was almost thankful for the distraction before he 
>realized that it was probably just Tenchi calling to explain how the 
>house had been destroyed again or some other disaster.

Ash: (Tenchi) Dad, you know that little thing that we were joking about the 
other week with the gigantic sponge and the bee hive...?

>	"Moshi-Moshi."
>	"Nobuyuki is that you?  Its your cousin Genma calling."

Misty: (Nobuyuki A La Scary movie) Wazz-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP?!?!?!?!?!?
Brock: (Nobuyuki) The Genma that owes me fifteen bucks and two dinners?
Ash: (Genma) Uhh-umm... Oh, me so sorry!  Me dial wrong number!  Me hang up now!  
Good-bye!

>	"Genma is it really you?"  He couldn't believe it since it had 
>been a decade since he last heard from his cousin.

Misty: (Ammadeau) Man, I can't *believe* Rumiko forgot to write that in!

>	"Yep, just came back from China and thought I'd give my 
>favorite cousin

Michelle: (Nobuyuki) Genma, I'm your only cousin...

>a call, to see how things were with you.  I can't 
>believe you still work at the same firm,

Ash: (Genma) You must really suck at your job!

>though you've become 
>quite an important person since we last spoke."

Misty: (Genma) I heard last time that you were popular with the ladies!  Is that 
still true?  Think you can help my son a bit?

>	That was at least true.  He was now one of the senior 
>architects.  "China, what were you doing there?"

Brock: (China) Oh, not much, just the usual; growing rice, spawning hundreds of 
millions of people per year, being hit by tsunamis...

>Nobuyuki had a 
>feeling that his cousin had called him up to ask for something, but 
>knew Genma would get to it when he was ready.

Misty: All right, fic, we can wait as long as you can...

>	"I wanted to train my boy in the great training grounds of 
>China.  Nothing but the best for as my heir.

Ash: Then why all the problems with *shampoo*?!
All: (groan)

>I want him to become 
>even more skilled than I and have every advantage that I didn't 
>have."

Michelle: (Nobuyuki) Cut the crap and get to the point, how much money do you 
need?

>	Nobuyuki remembered when he had last met Genma he was 
>going to take his son, who he had been training in martial arts since 
>he could walk, on a long voyage of training.

Misty: (Genma) And now, Ranma, I'll show you the ancient Gurgling Spit-Up Fist 
technique!

>A vague idea of how 
>to solve his own problems started to form in Nobuyuki's mind.

Ash: (Nobuyuki) Pick up the gun and aim it at the people...  Silence the voices...

>	"So you've just come back and first thing is you call me?  
>One would have thought that you'd be so eager to reunite with your 
>wife that you wouldn't put that off for anything else."

Brock: (Genma) Are you kidding me?  THAT battleaxe?

>The was a short pause before Genma replied.

Michelle: (Genma) Uhh... Um...  Oooo, aliens! Scary!  (Quick, push the button!) 
E.T. Phone home...!

>"Well, there's 
>a small problem with that.  For reasons I won't go into now,

Misty: (Genma) Besides the obvious that I am a slacker...

>the 
>boy's training isn't yet complete and it proved impossible to do this 
>in China.

Michelle: (Genma) The bottom line is, do you know where any good sweat shops are 
around here?

>I need a quiet place to finish it and then he'd be ready to 
>be reunited with his mother.  In fact, that was one of the reasons 
>that I called you.

Ash: (Genma) I was kinda' wondering if you would be our punching bag for the 
duration of the training...
Misty: (Nobuyuki) Well, I see no reason not to...

>I remember that your father in law was priest of a 
>shrine outside Tokyo and was wondering if you think he'd let me 
>and the boy board with him for a little in exchange for doing 
>chores?"

Brock: (Genma) We could run his escort service for him...!  What?  He doesn't 
have one?  Well, we could start one for him!

>	Nobuyuki thought that a few months ago father in law may 
>have needed the help, but Tenchi and all the girls there were hardly 
>chores that needed to be done.

Michelle: Tsk, leaving your Tenchi unmade and your Ayeka un-swept...
Ash: And yet he still has time to sweep the shrine for fifteen hours a day!

>Still, Nobuyuki saw this as a great 
>opportunity to solve his own problems and help out a cousin who 
>had helped him in his time of need.

Misty: What?  Genma helped someone?
Ash: It was to win a bet...

>	"Well, I can do even better than that.  I've recently moved 
>my house to be near the shrine (just don't ask me how)

All: HOW?!?!?!

>so you can 
>stay with me and Tenchi.  We already have some other guests 
>staying with us, but my house is big enough for you and your son 
>(and if it isn't I can just have Washu add a new room)."

Michelle: (Nobuyuki) (Gosh, I hope that I didn't say that one aloud...)
Brock: (Genma) You can have WHO add a new WHAT?!
Michelle: (Nobuyuki) (D'oh!)

>	"Great, that's wonderful," Genma replied after writing down 
>directions, "We'll be there sometime tomorrow.  Syonara."

Ash: What did he say?  Is that anything like a Synard?
Michelle: Another pointless crossover?  Probably...

>	"Its all set boy," Genma said to his son as he hung up the 
>phone.

Misty: (Genma) We've got fifty on Rabble-rouser for the third race tomorrow!
Ash: (Ranma) Did you dial the wrong number again, you idiot?

>	"So we're going to the Tendo Dojo now?"
>	"Foolish boy, haven't you been listening to what I've been 
>saying to you?

Brock: (Ranma) You were speaking in Swahili, Pop

>I've decided that first we should stop off to visit my 
>cousin Nobuyuki for some peace and quiet before going to the 
>Tendo Dojo."

Michelle: ...as long as it doesn't turn into a WAFF fic.

>	Ranma knew that he was up to something the way he'd 
>been talking up the Tendo Dojo and his old friend Soun for some 
>time, so why the sudden delay?

Misty: Just padding out what suffices as the plot...

>He'd have to wait and see what 
>would happen.  If worst came to worst, he could deal with it with 
>his cursed body.

Ash: Hey, Ranma, you gonna change back sometime soon?
Misty: (Ranma) Why?  It worked in "Ukyo Gets What She Deserves..."

>	Tenchi knew that something was up when his father had 
>come into his room, grinning from ear to ear.

Brock: (Nobuyuki, muffled) Tenchi!  Help!  I got these toothpicks stuck holding 
the corners of my mouth back!

>Probably found 
>some foolproof way to peep on the girls when they're in the onsen 
>and wants to use it to help me with my manhood.

Ash: (Nobuyuki) Okay, Tenchi!  I've got it now!  If we disguise ourselves as 
potted plants, we won't even be noticed!

>Why can't he 
>just give it a rest?

Misty: Well, that's three characters that he's gotten IC so far!  Let's try for 
five!

>	Nobuyuki shut the door behind him and told his son, "Now 
>I don't pretend to know everything that's been going on here lately, 
>but I do know you've had troubles with the girls."

Michelle: Well, thank you, Einstein!  How many Crystal balls did you have to 
look into to tell us THAT?!

>	Tenchi nodded.  Just when didn't he have troubles with 
>them?  If they're not shouting at each other, they're pulling him 
>apart in a game of tug-a-war or destroying the house with their 
>fights.  It's a good thing Washu is so handy with repairs.

Ash: (Washu) Welcome to today's episode of "This Old House with Washu!"  Today, 
I'm going to show you how to install an inter-dimensional portal in your shower 
or bathtub!

>	"Its clear to me that this is a problem of numbers.  There are 
>simply too many of them and not enough of us.  Normally, I'd think 
>this a good thing, but lately things have been getting out of hand.  
>So I've decided to balance the odds back in our favor."

Brock: (Nobuyuki) I've started bribing the bookie so that not so many people bet 
against us.  It's a win-win situation!

>	"Huh?"  He had no idea what his father was talking about.  
>Who are them and who are us?

Misty: (Nobuyuki) Commies!  I swear, they're all around me!  I can't even take a 
bath without three or four Communists jumping in the bathtub with me!  They're 
eating Sasami's jam!  I can see them staring at me from Ayeka's blouse!  When 
will Mister Churchill do something about this?!

>	"I've invited my cousin Genma and his son Ramna to stay 
>with us."

Michelle: (Nobuyuki) So much for being outnumbered by chicks!  Ha-ha!  Those two 
are about the furthest from being chicks that one could be!
Misty: Well, that may be true about Ramna, but...

>	Tenchi exploded.

Brock: (Tenchi) Oh, sorry!  Shouldn't have eaten all that Taco Bell for breakfast!

>"You did what?  Are you crazy?  Its hard 
>enough to keep secret what goes on here, but you want more 
>people here?

Ash: (Nobuyuki) Oh, come on!  (It's a tax cut in the making for us)!
Misty: (Tenchi) Did you just say that or was I hearing things?

>How will they react that our guest are aliens with 
>massive powers?  Do you know what the girls could do to them?  
>Do you know what Washu will do to them? Do you?!"

Misty: (Washu) Well, I was planning on crossing their DNA with that of a 
badger...

>	It was clear to Tenchi that all of the things that had 
>happened lately had caused his father to snap.

Michelle: Like that! (snaps)
Ash: Like that? (snaps)
Michelle: No, like that. (snaps)

>This had to be the 
>stupidest idea he'd ever heard, even worse than his attempts at 
>peeping.

Ash: Potential for Happosai jokes high!
Brock: Even worse than his suggestion to buy stock in Microsoft!
Misty: I swear, I don't know where he gets it from...

>He vaguely remembered Ranma from a visit long ago, a 
>nice little boy with a pig tail who was into martial arts.

Misty: Is he sure that wasn't Ryoga at a young age?

>He didn't 
>want to subject his cousin to the kinds of things that went on in the 
>Masaki household on a daily basis.

Michelle: Girls fighting over him, make-up parties, and tea-parties...

>He had the tenchi-ken and the 
>wings of the light hawk if things really got out of hand, and his 
>father was hardly ever home, but what would there be to protect his 
>cousin from the hell that he was under?

Ash: Ah, he'll get used to it, I'm sure.  He'll have a *long* time to deal with 
it in the future...

>The physical danger was 
>bad enough, the psychological stuff was really what got Tenchi 
>screaming.

Misty: I swear, it's just as bad as a trip to Freud-land.
Brock: Phallic symbols everywhere?
Misty: No, just lots of preversions going on.  (hee, hee...)

>He didn't want anyone to have to go through it.  Not 
>even Kagato deserved what he went through on a daily basis.  
>Well, maybe Kagato, but not anyone else.

Brock: Okay, so Kagato *and* N'Sync.
Michelle: Stupid MST wannabes...

>	"Not to worry, Genma is a powerful martial artist and his 
>son has been training since he could walk so they'll be able to be 
>ward off the occasional danger."

Michelle: There it is again!  He's been training since he was walking!
Brock: This announcement was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy 
Department...

>Tenchi raised an eyebrow at 
>'occasional.'  "Now, Genma and I will be staying at the temple with 
>grandfather, while Ranma will be taking my old room.

Misty: And Ramna will be staying in the room with Ryoko.  Now, he *has* 
forgotten his clothes, so he'll have to sleep naked.  That won't bother Ryoko, 
right?

>Will start 
>getting ready for them early tomorrow since they should be here be 
>afternoon.

Ash: (Tenchi) Okay, but if it interrupts my Muppet Babies, someone will PAY!

>I'll leave it to you to explain to the girls that they should 
>be on their best behavior."
>	And then he left before Tenchi could argue further.

Michelle: (Tenchi) Oh, I just wish that sometimes he'd listen to me...  (song 
cue)
Misty: (Nobuyuki) AND NO SINGING!!! (song cue cuts)

>Maybe 
>it won't be so bad to have another guy around the house, he 
>reflected.

Brock: Is he consulting his Magic Mirror?
Ash: (Tenchi) Mirror, mirror, on the wall, how get I out of this fic fastest of 
all?

>He doubted any of the girls would actually attack his 
>cousin and with martial arts reflexes he should be able to stay out 
>of the crossfire.

Michelle: Yeah, like he wouldn't fight back...
Ash: (Ranma) Dum dee dum dum, oh, look!  What are these colorful thingies flying 
past my head?

>Explaining about the aliens would be a little hard, 
>but it was easy to believe once he saw what the girls could do.  

Misty: (Tenchi) And now, we present the Icecapades!

>What could go wrong?

All: WARNING!  WARNING!  FAMOUS LAST WORDS IN PROGRESS!  WE REPEAT, FAMOUS LAST 
WORDS IN PROGRESS!

>	Tenchi looked out his window.  That was odd.  He could 
>have sworn that he heard thunder but there wasn't a cloud in the 
>sky.

All: Dum-dum-duuuuuuuuuuum!!!

>	"What is this meeting about again?"  Washu asked 
>impatiently as she had experiment that needed doing.

Misty: (Washu) Look, I'm trying to create an alternate universe for sale to 
families!

>	"Why did we move all of father's things to the temple?" 
>Aeka added, "Have we offended him in some way?"

Ash: (Tenchi) No, he's just under a bit of heat for his "wink-wink-nod-nod" 
problem, as he called it.

>	Royoko was tempted to rip into Aeka for the 'father' 
>remark, but noticing Tenchi had on his serious face, decided to 
>save it for later.

Brock: Wait, who're those?
Michelle: Ammadeau had limited funding, so he had to hire Ayeka and Ryoko's 
cheaper European versions.

>	Sasami, Mihoshi, and Ryo-oki simply waited, curious to 
>what was going on.
>	"No Miss Aeka, none of you have offended him.  He only 
>moved to make room for our new guest."

Ash: (Tenchi) We've taken on a man named Timothy McVeigh as a boarder!  He seems 
like a nice enough guy...

>	"Oh great, another freeloader," Ryoko commented, "Why 
>do you need anyone else when you have me!"

Misty: So, there are two Ryoko characters in this fic?
Brock: Yeah, one to blow stuff up and the other to blow Tenchi up.
Michelle: BROCK!

>And then proceeded 
>to try to snuggle him with less success than usual, since Tenchi 
>absolutely didn't want her provoking Aeka into a fight now.

Misty: Why not?  I bet it'd be a lot of fun to watch it on Celebrity Deathmatch!
Brock: (Mills Lane) Now, I want no illegal lemon fics and no blasting below the 
toes!  Now, let's get it on!

>	"Yay, another guest!" Mihoshi enthused, most likely not 
>even hearing what Ryoko had said, "So who is it Tenchi?  Kagato?  
>Emperor Azuza?  Elvis?"

Ash: (Tenchi) It's this nice guy named Oscar!
Misty: (Ryo-Oh-Ki) Meow!  Meow-meow! (runs to hide)

>	Tenchi decided to cut her off before she could rattle off a 
>list of even more improbable guests.

Michelle: (Tenchi) Actually, we were thinking of inviting Jimmy Hoffa to share a 
room with you, Mihoshi...

>"He is my cousin Ramna 
>Saotome

Brock: Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, who is whose cousin, Tenchi and Ranma or Genma and 
Nobuyuki?
Misty: (Ammadeau) Both!  And Tenchi is also Genma's grandfather, due to an 
accident with a time machine and a condom!

>who has just returned from a training trip in China and 
>my father decided that it would be nice for he and his father to stay 
>with us for a while.  Now, I want all of you to be on your best 
>behavior while he's here.

Ash: (Tenchi) And remember, he's been training since he could walk, so...
Misty: At least he's not repeating it every few paragraphs...

>Ranma is just a normal human and isn't 
>used to the strange things that you do.

Michelle: Yeah, he's about as normal as you are, Tenchi...

>That means no teleporting, 
>no flying, no spaceships, no weird experiments, no energy blasts, 
>no talking logs,

All: (singing) It's lo-og, it's lo-og, it's big, it's heavy, it's wood!
Brock: Hey, kids!  Start jumping up and down like idiots!  Now, there's Talking 
Log and Laser Light Show Log

>no otherworldly relatives, no mention of how old 
>you all really are, and absolutely, positively no fighting!  Do I 
>make myself clear?"

Ash: Clear as toxic waste in the middle of a fog cloud during a solar eclipse on 
a cloudy day!

>Tenchi had tenchi-ken in hand just in case 
>anyone didn't get the point that he was angry and ready to carry out 
>his threat.

Misty: (Tenchi) Say hello to my Little friend!

>	Ranma looked up to the cloudless sky as he got off the bus 
>at the shrine stop, father just before him.

Brock: (Genma) Hey!  This isn't Las Vegas!
Michelle: Must've taken a wrong turn at Albequerque.
All: (singing) In A------------lbequerque!

>He was a he and was 
>determined to stay that way at least until he could break it to the 
>people he was staying with gently.

Misty: Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective.

>After all, they were simple 
>people living in modern Japan who didn't believe in things like 
>dragons and oni and would react worse than the people in China 
>had to his curse.

Ash: Yeah, it's like they'd be able to handle weird stuff!  Where do you get off 
with that stuff?!

>It had taken him awhile to learn, but since 
>villagers ran either to or from him screaming when hit with cold 
>water, he kept a thermos of hot water on him at all times.

Misty: Well, maybe you could use some of those, y'know, martial artist reflexes 
that you've been "training since you could walk" to kinda' avoid the cold water?  
Just a thought?
Michelle: (Ranma) What martial arts?

>	They were greeted at the bus stop by a middle aged man 
>who Ranma guessed to be Nobuyuki.

Brock: How much longer is this thing?
Michelle: Not much.  I know it hurts, but just hang in...

>	Ryoko was really bored waiting for this Ranma person to 
>show up, though she was sure that she'd still be bored when he did.  

Michelle: (Ranma) What, am I supposed to be a clown, here to amuse you?  Is that 
what you're saying?

>To her, most earthlings were just no fun at all, Tenchi being the 
>exception.  So she decided to go take a walk, even though Tenchi 
>had told her to wait at the house.

Michelle: When suddenly, the sky grew as black as night, and the thunder roared 
as if something ominous was about to happen...
Misty: We wish...

>She got tired of walking, so she 
>decided to fly up to the shrine to see if this Ranma had shown up 
>yet.

Ash: Here comes the goofy part!

>She'd been specifically told not to fly or to use any of her 
>powers, but there was no way she was walking up all these stairs, it 
>took too damn long.

Ash: Oh, he makes it sound like it's such an out-of-the-ordinary sight to see 
someone flying!
Misty: Like you can!
Ash: It's easy!  Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

>Besides, she decided, she was doing Tenchi a 
>service looking out for his cousin to make sure he arrived at the 
>house safe and sound.

Michelle: ...and only in five pieces!

>Tenchi would thank her for being so 
>thoughtful.

Misty: (Tenchi) Yes, Ryoko, thank you for completely ignoring my instructions 
and threats to do what you want.  Thank you so bloody much...

>	Then as she neared the shrine she heard a familiarly 
>unpleasant sound.

Ash: The sound of a bad fanfic being written?
Misty: The sound of a tree falling in the forest when no one's there?
Brock: The sound of a Sasami Lemon being filmed?
Michelle: That's not unpleasant.  It's just out-right disturbing...

>Yosho was obviously fighting someone and 
>Tenchi was back at the house so this could mean trouble.

Ash: (monotone) Pop-o-matic pops the dice...

>Tenchi's 
>grandfather might not be her favorite person in the world,

Brock: So, she decided, "The hell with it," and left him to die at the hands of 
his enemy.

>but she 
>did know how skilled he was as the only person that had gone 
>more than five minutes recently had been Kagato.

Misty: And yet they still hadn't made money off of the fight!
Ash: Guess they needed Don King...

>This could be 
>bad, they all had just recovered from that whole mess.

Michelle: Yes, you have aptly established its potential for badness.
Ash: The situation or the fic?
Michelle: Take your pick...

>Teleporting to the shrine,

Brock: (Ryoko) Beam me up, Snotty!
Michelle: Snotty beamed be twice last night...  It was wonderful!

>she found Yosho locked in fierce 
>combat with what had to be an oni, and after impersonating one for 
>700 years Ryoko should know.

Misty: Yeah, nothing like pretending to be something to make you really it!

>She had the body of a young girl, 
>but had wings, horns, and tail.

Ash: Did we suddenly make some sort of a crossover with Final Fantasy?

>The oni was moving so fast that she 
>was almost and blur and the punches she rained down on Yosho 
>were beating even him back, 

Brock: Wait, so now he *does* use his martial arts skills that he's been 
"training since he could walk"?  Make up your mind!

>and she knew from personal 
>experience how hard that was.

Ash: Yeah, it's really tough unless you've been training since you started 
walking.

>With no regard for her own safety, 
>Ryoko charged the oni with her fist cocked back to deliver one hell 
>of a punch.

Misty: She did *what* to it? 
Michelle: Misty...

>	Ranma was reveling in one of the best matches he'd had 
>since getting cursed, possibly the best match he had ever had 
>period.

Misty: And perhaps the best cigarette that he'd ever smoked...
Michelle: But remember, kids!  Smoking is bad!

>Here was someone who could actually stand up to some of 
>the devastating punches and kicks that he could deliver in his 
>cursed form,

Ash: And only receiving minor brain damage in the process!

>not only holding his own but getting his own licks in 
>as well.

Brock: For god's sake, he makes it sound like a lemon scene!
Ash: Don't give him ideas...

>So focused he was on his opponent that he didn't notice 
>the Royoko until it was too late.

Misty: Of course, Ryoko was seen coming from a mile away!
Ash: (Ranma) Ha!  I'll take you out like Ranma Kills!

>	Ranma suddenly found herself up against a tree, nursing her 
>soar jaw.

Brock: It's a bird!
Michelle: It's a plane!

>Had Yosho got some lucky hit in?  If so he was a lot 
>faster than he was pretending to be and a lot stronger to boot since 
>Ranma, with his super endurance, had hardly felt his blows.

Ash: Wait, if he can't feel Yosho's blows and Yosho's stronger than Ryoko, then 
why- OW!!!
Brock: Well, maybe it was Royoko that hit him.  She might be a lot stronger...

>	Ryoko rubbed her hand as she flew through the forest in 
>search of the oni.  What was that thing made out of, stone?  

Misty: Well, its head was, at least...

>Probably hurt myself more than I did her, she thought.  Yosho had 
>shouted something about Ranma as she was flying off.

Ash: (Yosho) Kill him slowly and painfully!

>Did he 
>mean the oni was trying to attack Ranma?

Michelle: Suddenly, when Ryoko wasn't watching, a perky young man named Adam hit 
her from behind, protecting Ranma...
Misty: (Ryoko) Quick, what was he *warring*!?

>If so, he was in danger 
>and Tenchi was sure to reward her for protecting his cousin from 
>such a dangerous foe.

Ash: Yeah, Ranma *does* need to protect him from himself.
Brock: Charter works very well, I'm told.

>	Tenchi was out looking for Ryoko, not that he really 
>wanted to, but she had slipped away when everyone was busy and 
>she had a way of causing trouble even when she never really meant 
>any harm.

Michelle: You know, like the time that she set off that bomb in the subway?  Oh, 
that was fun...!

>She isn't really a bad person, Tenchi reflected, but she 
>often acts before thinking and lets her fists do her talking.

Brock: Thank you, Mister Exposition!
Michelle: Come on, let's get out of here...
Misty: What, that's the end?
Michelle: What, you want to read more?
Misty: Good point...

(All get up to leave)

Reverse Door sequence

	Outside, a CD is lying on the desk.  "I wonder what this is," Michelle 
says, popping it into the computer.  The screen comes up, SimAquarium.  "Hey, 
Ash!  You got your game now!"
	"No, actually, that was me," Misty says, walking over to the computer.  "I 
really wanted Sim Post Office."
	"All right, then," Michelle says, "Let me give it a shot."	She turns on 
the machine and tries to make a game.  A CD pops out.
	"What were you trying to produce," Brock asks.  Michelle puts the CD in 
the computer and tries the game.
	"I was trying for SimEA Tech Support, just to see if I could do a better 
job," Michelle replies.  The game comes up, "SimPile of Dung."  "Funny, seems 
somewhat fitting," Michelle replies as she chucks the CD out.  
	"Maybe it's one of those things that you don't get it if you tell it," 
Brock suggests.
"Well, let me try this," she says, reaching into the machine.  She tweaks 
a few things and changes some wiring around.  "Brock, you give it a shot," she 
says.
	Brock operates the machine.  "I was trying for SimWaffle," he says after 
the machine stops.  The game that appears on the screen is called, "SimUniverse, 
the ultimate Sim game, where you are GOD!!!"
	"Well, I suppose that this'll work," Michelle says.  "I'll play it, that's 
for sure."
	"Bad news, Michelle," Misty says.  "It takes all of the remaining disk 
space on the computer and all the available RAM."
	"So?" Michelle asks.  "Who doesn't like playing God?"  The Mads light 
begins flashing and Michelle presses the button.

Deep 151

	James is playing with the controls for the Similator.  "You know, I've 
already Similated everyone at the yard sale and put them in our little 
neighborhood," James says, sounding depressed.  "I wonder what this little 
button does," he says to himself as he presses a button.  A ray shoots from the 
booth, hitting James and shrinking him to the Sim size.
	Jesse walks along soon enough, discovering James Sim-sized.  "James, 
you're a moron.  How 'bout this; I've got a nice little place for SimJames to 
live.  It's a nice little fish tank filled with nice little hungry piranhas."  
She holds James over the tank.  "Meowth, push the button," she says.

*BLIP*
*Fwoosh!*
*splash!*
*chomp, chomp...*

Thus ends my newest MSTing.  As I said at the beginning, no insult meant 
to Ammadeau.  I don't own any of the stuff in this MSTing except for 
Michelle.  I think that I'll go on to work on my Star Ocean fic, maybe 
I'll pick up that "Lost Worlds" fic.  Who knows?
	Oh, well.  I'll see you all on the flip side!

Original fic by:
Ammadeau

MSTing by:
M.H. Torringjan

MST3K created by:
Joel Hodgeson

MST3K produces by:
Best Brains

E-mail the MSTer at:
jmh6187@uncwil.edu

Keep circulating the fanfics!

>	Bad enough he had to get knocked into spring of drowned 
>girl, but when Ranma had been chasing after his furry butt to show 
>him just what he thought of this whole training expedition, he had 
>to trip over that guy and fallen into another spring, learning the 
>hard way that curses could mix with strange results.