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When we last left our heroes, they were in the grips of two evils, the greater 
of which can't be decided. A bad self-insertion fic and an ever-growing plant 
which has tapped into the SoL's power supply.

The boys sit down in the theatre to take another round of the fic.

>Part two: The Moon Kingdom
>We found ourselves in a large, completely dark room.

Mike: (James) Our photos were developing slowly, and we would need to hurry.

>"Lunaball, some light, please," I requested. Nothing happened.

Crow: (Gasp) something didn't go his way!
Tom: It has been declared a national holiday!

>"She only replies to my commands," Rini said.
>"Durn." I had learned how to school my language around small 
>children.

Mike: (James) All right, Rini, watch me. What's two times two?
Tom: (language) three?
Mike: (James) NO, NO! IT'S FOUR, DAMN YOU! GET IT RIGHT!

>Rini repeated the request, and the room lit up. It looked like a ball 
>room. In fact, it was.

Crow: There's a soccer game over in one corner, a basketball game in another, 
and baseball games in the third and forth corners.

> The chandelier was made of crystals of various colors. The tiles of the 
>floor had flowers painted on them, meticulously so as not to leave out any 
>detail of the flower. There were tables and chairs spread around the 
>room. they were made of some wood that resembled oak. The chairs 
>were padded with red cloth and patterned with the sign of the Silver 
>Millenium,

Crow: The stake in the werewolf's heart.
Tom: The meatballs with ponytails running out of them.

>the Crescent Moon.
>"Luna, I thought that they had destroyed all this," I whispered to Luna.

Mike: (Luna) Look, this is your story, you explain it!
Tom: (Luna) We had a special building contractor build a scale of what this 
looked like on a sound stage in a theatre. If you look hard, you can see a 
camera filming us right now.

>"Well, you must have gotten your facts missed."

Mike: Man, this chapter just isn't James's chapter. He hasn't gotten one thing 
right yet.

>I walked over to Rini and whispered in her ear,

Crow: (James) Tonight, my room at midnight.
Mike: CROW!
Crow: Bite me, Nelson! I've already lost my dessert! I have nothing left to live 
for!

>"This is where your mother used to live." Her eyes lit up at the 
>statement.

Tom: So, she's got lightbulbs in her eyes now?

>I addressed the rest of the group.

Tom: They live at 666 Hell Street, a.k.a. this fic.

>"If I remember correctly, then this is where Princess Serenity last saw 
>Prince Darien before the final battle."

Mike: He's starting on the demonstration of his knowledge early.
Tom: (James) I know a lot about the show.

>We walked on, and we came to the throne room of Queen Serenity. It 
>was as large as the ball room at least,

Crow: (Soccer player) hey, guys! here's a place as good as that other ball room!

>and decorated in the same way. Serena jokingly went to the throne and 
>sat down in it.

Mike: (James) Hey, that's my place!

>"Serena, we don't have time for jokes," I said.

Tom: (James) If I can't have that, then no one can!

>"We've got to go if we want to complete our mission." Serena rejoined 
>the group sourly.

Crow: I knew that this would turn into a *lemon* somewhere.
Mike: D'oh!
Tom: Anyone know the reason for that last scene?
Crow: To showcase this writer's inability to describe large rooms?

>I let Luna lead the way, even though it looked like I was to Rini. I 
>summoned Rini to join me at the front. "If I'm right,

Mike: (James) Which I probably am...

>then, this will get you the Imperium Silver Crystal, and you can go 
>home."

Tom: If we get it, then can we go home?

>I knew how to motivate this kid. "So, what's Sailor Pluto like?"

Crow: (Rini) She's got the power to kill you, which is good in my book.

>"She's really nice! She's my favorite of the Sailors,

Mike: (sailor) Get back on this ship and batten down these hatches!

>because we play together a lot."
>"And what do you think of Sailor Moon?"
>"She's my mommy."

Crow: Excuse me, but she didn't know that! She would have pieced together that 
Serena was her mother when Sailor Moon transformed in front of her!
Tom: And you call me a fanboy.
Mike: Good rant, anyway...

>"She's smarter than I thought," I said to myself.

Mike: Yeah, she sees into the future!

>"Did you know that you're supposed to be Sailor Moon when your 
>mother stops?"

Tom: (Rini) Look, man, I've got some mace right here in my Lunaball, so just 
back off.

>"No."
>"Well, you are. That's why the Imperium Silver Crystal reacted the way 
>that it did when you picked it up. You never lost it, you just have to find 
>it."

Crow: That's it! I've had it! HE'S GIVEN AWAY TOO MUCH OF THE PLOT! I'M TOO 
PISSED OFF! I'M JUST GONNA TAKE HIM OUT!
Mike: (switches Crow off) Sorry, little buddy, but you need to calm down a bit. 
Tom, not a word of this to Forrester.
Tom: Like he can't hear and see everything that we do in here...

>I left her with that cryptic remark. I fell back into the ranks where Lita 
>was. "I love freaking people out like that.

Tom: (Lita) You freak me out with anything you do.

>Which sister has taken over here?"

Mike: Nabiki, Kasumi, or Akane.

>"Wish we knew. Heck, we don't even know where we're going."

Tom: (James) I know, but I'm not gonna tell!
Mike: I think that we've done that joke enough for this one fic.

>"So, we're wandering aimlessly. That sucks.

Tom: No, this fic does.

>How large is this place?"

Mike: Large enough to house Roseanne.

>"Larger than Tokyo," Artemis answered quietly. We couldn't afford to 
>let Rini hear the cats talk, lest she figure out what was going on.
>"So, we'll be wandering for a while.

Tom: Yet another device to lengthen the plot, brought to you by the 
self-insertion council.

>Oy, vey!"
>"What was that?" Lita asked.
>"I heard it on TV. It's Jewish for 'Oh, boy,'" I replied.

Tom: you know, it's really kind of boring without Crow. Think that he's cooled 
down enough?
Mike: Let me see. (Mike turns Crow back on, and the robot starts talking again.)
Crow: It's about time you turned me back on. I've got to say some stuff.
Mike: Well, we thought that you'd want to be awake just in case a lemon scene 
comes on.

>If we were to find where we were going, then we would have to split up 
>and I said so.

Crow: (Serena) And make ourselves easier targets for the trained killers that 
are our enemies? Sure, no problem!

>"But how will we know where the others are in case we get in trouble?" 
>Raye asked.

Tom: Follow the sounds of blubbering, and you'll find either Serena, Rini, or 
James.
Crow: Nah, it's his story. He wouldn't cry.
Mike: Uumm, Crow, you missed where we called a cease-fire of those jokes. It's 
been done enough.
Crow: Okay, I'll only do it if necessary.

>"You've got your communicators, don't you?" I asked impatiently.

Crow: And there's those adverbs again!

>They couldn't argue with that logic.

Tom: What logic? Did the author skip a few lines?
Mike: No, it's just that the Senshi are mind-readers in his stories.

>"Okay, then, Raye, you and Amy go that way." I indicated a direction. 
>"Lita, you andMina go that way. Serena, Rini, and I will go this way. 
>Luna, you go with Amy and Raye. Artemis, you go with Mina and Lita.

Tom: Okay, isn't talking to the cats implying that they can understand you, also 
implying that they can argue with you? That's the exact thing that he didn't 
want to do, if you'll remember.
Mike: Tom, stop thinking about it.  You'll just hurt yourself.

>Okay, let's move out." The three groups took their separate ways.

Mike: And were quietly and efficiently killed by booby traps, the end.
Crow: Feeling bitter today, Nelson?
Mike: It's just that he'll probably make it so that he is the only one who 
survives, then figures out a way to bring everyone back to life.

>Within a minute, they were all back with us, begging for lights. Rini got 
>Lunaball to make some lanterns for them.

Crow: (Rini) And fetch me up a brewsky, too, will ya'?

>The lanterns were equally distributed, and the groups separated again. 
>Serena, Rini, and I went into a breezeway. The columns that were 
>holding up the ceiling

Tom: (Pillar) Man, ceiling, you've got to get over that girl. There's other 
fishes in the sea.

>had sword slashes in them and parts blown off of them. Signs of a battle 
>that occurred long ago. I heard a sound come room behind us. I turned 
>to see who or what was there.

Crow: (James)All I found was a couple of youma torturing a small puppy.

>The hallway was empty.

Tom: (deadpan) Omigod. He almost introduced some suspense into the plotline. 
(Yawns.)

>We looked upon the fields that had once held flowers but were now 
>barren.

Mike: Man, those last couple of lines were about as connected as a James Burke 
video.
Tom: (James Burke) Hello, and welcome. Tonight, I'll show you how a shoelace 
caused the invention of the Venetian blinds.
Crow: Could there be a more vague reference?

>We walked down the breezeway, into the next room.

Crow: Ouch.

>It contained the communication equipment for communicating with the 
>various planets of the Moon's alliance.

Mike: Let me guess, he'll be able to work it perfectly.

>I turned them on, knowing that it was pointless. There wouldn't be 
>anyone on these airways now. I searched the airways for anything.

Crow: And all he can pick up is crappy country stations.

>Nothing came back. I decided to cycle through slower. On frequency 
>five, I got a little indication of something.

Tom: (James) Something told me that this story would suck if I wrote it down.
Crow: (ibid) Of course, I ignored it.

>"Either of you got some aluminum on you?" I asked sarcastically. 
>"Oh, yeah, James," Serena said in response to the joke. "I always keep 
>some with me just in case."

Mike:(Deadpan) Oh, I just can't contain my laughter. Ha, ha, ha.

>Rini asked Lunaball, and some appeared on the ground in front of me. I 
>thanked Lunaball as I pulled some off the roll.
>I wrapped it on the recievers and listened again. I picked up the 
>microphone and began to speak into it.

Tom: Good Morning, Vietnam!

>"James, what are you doing?" Serena asked, puzzled. "There won't be 
>anyone to hear you unless..." She didn't finish because she didn't want 
>Rini to know why they were there.

Tom: And they are related because...
Mike: Hey, James! Throw us a friggin' bone here!

>I knew what she was talking about, though.

Crow: Well, could you clue us in?

>"I thought I heard something." I spoke into the microphone. "Hello, is 
>anyone there?"

Mike: I'm representing the telemarketers association of America, and I was 
wondering if I could ask you a couple of questions.

>No answer. "I repeat. Is anyone there?"

Tom: (Ham radio operator) This is K-9872 callin anyone out there, I've got a bun 
in the oven and there's nothin' says more lovin'.

>A faint murmur issued from the speakers.. I turned the volume up. It 
>sounded like the other Scouts. I checked all the dials and switches. Then, 
>I found the problem.

Crow: A hamdinger was stuck in the speaker.

>The mike switch was on intercom.

Mike: Hey! My switch isn't anywhere NEAR this story.

>I turned it to radio and repeated the request for attention. I got an 
>answer.
>"Who is this?" the voice asked.

Tom: This is Mike Rotch.
Crow: Or Ivanna Tinkle.
Tom: Or Amanda Hugnkiss.
Crow: Or Hugh Jass
Tom: Or Ivanna Humpalot
Crow: Or Chief.
Tom: (chief) Or McCloud.
Crow: Or...
Mike: Guys, that's enough.

>"You are violating a direct for radio silence

Mike: Any one know what a direct is?

>from King Jolion. Tell us where you are so that we may apprehend 
>you."

Crow: This must be the hero of the story.
Tom: No, it's James's story. He'll be the hero.

>I couldn't help but laugh at the request. A moment later, Serena saw what 
>I was laughing at and joined me.

Mike: Okay, guys, where did these guys get their sense of humor? I don't see 
what is so funny!

>I asked Rini to leave for a moment. I continued after I had finished 
>laughing. "What kind of a dumbass request is that? You tihnk that a 
>criminal is going to tell you where the hell he is?"
>"Well, this situation hasn't come up yet.

Mike: And it isn't covered in our training handbook.

>As you should very well know, people just don't do things that are 
>against the law. It's just not right.

Tom: So, these people have some sort of a secret society, but they don't have 
crime?
Crow: Yep, that's about it.

>"Yeah, well, we're not from around here, so could you help us out 
>here?" Serena asked.

Crow: Depends. What are you willing to do for me? You know, I've got to make a 
living, too.

>"Are you from the Negaverse?" the voice asked.

Mike: (James) Yeah, I'm from the Negaverse. Could you just let me in so that I 
can ransack the place and leave some youma behind?

>"Exactly the opposite," I said. "You're speaking to Sailor Moon and her 
>friend."
>"Gods! THE Sailor Moon?"

Tom: No, the Sailor Moon from down the road. OF COURSE THE SAILOR MOON!!!

>"Yes! There's only one!"
>"Are the others there with you?"
>"Yes. They're just at different parts around the palace."
>"I believe you, I just can't let you in without proper identification."

Tom: Typical twentieth century bank-clerks.
Mike: Guys, he's doing it again. I can't tell who's talking again.

>"Look, We don't have a f***ing superhero society on Earth! There's 
>only the five Scouts in our time period."

Mike: (James) Not counting myself, of course.

>"Wait, James," Serena said, stopping me. A sweat drop appeared on her 
>head.
>"During our time period? What do you mean?"

Crow: Not again! He's giving away plot points again.

>"Later, now, you f***ing well better send someone up the hell up here to 
>check our Crescent moon Wand and Imperium Silver Crystal or we'll lay 
>waste to the whole f***ing planet.

Mike: You know, guys, that's something nice from Dr. F. He edited the story. 
Thanks, Dr. F.!

>Silence came from the other end.

Crow: Except for a few muddled whispers and the loading of guns.

>"Maybe I scared them off?" I looked puzzled at Serena.

Tom: You'd scare me off without the cursing.

>She shrugged. A door opened off to our left and a man came out. He 
>was about as tall as I was and wore glasses. His hair was gray and he 
>wore clothes dirty but formal.

Mike: So, he wears his clothes like this all the time?
Tom: Hey, James, you forgot a comma!

>His eyes had the light of intelligence in them.

Mike: So, he's got eyes like Rini's.
Tom: If their eyes are lit up with intelligence, then James's and Serena's eyes 
must be burnt out from lack thereof.

>At least he wasn't a Neanderthal. He greeted us witha flourish of bows 
>and welcomes. I called Rini and he greeted her, too.

Crow: Man, this whole paragraph is these guys greeting each other.
Tom: *INTENSE* *GREETING* *ACTION*

>"Sorry for the inconvenience," the man said. He was the man from the 
>radio.

Mike: You know, the one with the eyes and the voice.
"Let me see the Crescent Wand and the Crystal."

Tom: (Man) Let me see it or the pink-haired girl dies.
Crow: (James) Who's stoppin' ya'?

>"I don't know if I want to show it to you anymore," I said. Serena 
>sharply jabbedme in the chest as she fished them out of her bag that she 
>had brought with her.

Mike: Does anybody know where this stuff comes from?
Tom: Same place as all that stuff in "Sailor Soulstone".

>I was able to stop her from taking the Crystal out before Rini could see it. 
>"We don't have the Crystal."

Crow: (announcer) Thrill as he lies to get out of jams!

>"All right, at least you have the Wand. Follow me." We went with him 
>into the depths of the planet.

Crow: Oh, so he's sworn to let in any shmuck who shows up with a vibrat...
Mike: (Slaps hand over Crow's mouth, only to have it bitten)
Crow: Who shows up with a vibrator and says that they're Sailor Moon.

(As the group is waiting for the next section to start, the theatre door is 
broken down by the plant, still growing. The bots run for the other side of the 
theatre, where the other, escape hatch is. Mike makes a short stand with his 
flame-thrower, but is forced through the escape hatch with the bots.)

Bridge of SoL

(The set is covered with slithering vines, all trying to catch on to the bots 
and Mike. It's still dark except for the emergency lights. The Mad's light 
starts flashing, and Mike pushes it quickly. His hand is almost caught by a 
tendril.)

D13

Forrester: Frank, I've let this go on for long enough. I can't just let this 
plant ruin my experiment! I've got to do something! I know, I'll use a 
matter-transferrance beam to send someone up there to help!

Frank: But, Clay! That's something that's not evil!

Forrester slaps Frank up side his head.

Forrester: Would you rather have us lose our jobs because we let our experiment 
die, or would you like to keep your job and be good for a change?

Frank: Given that choice... But, who should we send up?

Forrester: It's got to be someone who knows how to fight, but is ingenious 
enough to take this thing out with a well-executed plan that has no flaws in it. 
Ah, I've got it! I'll use my invention for next week, the Anime-tor, and bring 
Ranma Saotome here, then I'll send him up to you all!

(Forrester takes one of Frank's mangas and puts it in front of the large, 
multi-colored beam. He turns the beam on, and Ranma Saotome appears in Deep 13. 
Frank quickly hands Forrester the matter transferrance beam, which is pointed at 
Ranma. In a matter of moments, Ranma is gone from Deep 13 and heading up to the 
SoL.)

SoL

Mike: (From his hiding place under the desk) Thanks, Dr. F! Man, you're just 
being really not-evil to us today!

D13

Forrester: Ah, shove it where the sun don't shine. I've set up an alternate 
theatre for you to watch you fic in. Drag Saomtome in there with you. You should 
be safe in there.

SoL

Ranma: Where am I? Where's Akane?

Crow: We'll explain later! Right now, though, we need help!

Mike:You know anything about botany?

Ranma: That's where you get food poisoning, right?

End part two

Go to part three or take a break. It doesn't matter to me. Thanks for reading up 
until now.