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Summer Days Will Pass Away
A Tenchi/Sailor Moon x-over MSTing
By: M.H. Torringjan (jmh6187@uncwil.edu) and Craig "Black Seventeen" Norris 
(lardalmighty@netscape.net)

	Okay then, time to do a host segment and finish this puppy off!  I'm just 
digging myself a deeper and deeper hole, work-wise.  At least I'm staying at 
school over the summer.  Maybe then, I'll be able to get something done about 
these other MSTings I've still got to do.  And I can finish off these fanfics 
and whatnot.  Or, these may all be pointless pipe dreams.  Take your pick.  ;-)
	Now, for the disclaimers!  I don't own Sailor Moon.  Naoko Takeuchi does.  
I don't own Tenchi.  Naoko Hasegawa does.  I don't own Pokemon.  Game Freaks 
does.  I don't own MST3K.  Best Brains does.  Michelle is my character.  Masato 
(yeah, he's back) is the property of Craig.  I suppose we could use the other 
dork that he wrote into his other series, but Michelle just wouldn't appreciate 
that!  Any other products that are mentioned throughout the course of the fic 
are the property of their respective creators.  This fic is the property of 
MagicSerebii, who could not be reached for comment.  If you're reading this, 
don't take any offense.  It's all in good fun!  Think of it as a twisted review 
process.  ;-)
	Well then, if there's nothing else...

In the not-too distant future,
Next Sunday A.D.
There were some bitchin' trainers,
Pokemon trainers to you and me.
They wandered 'round the world to become the best,
Trying to beat out all the rest,
They did well for a while,
But then they lost one little battle
And were shot into space
(Ash: Pi-ka-chuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!)
We'll send them crapy fanfics,
The worst we can find(la, la, la!)
They'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor their minds.(la, la, la!)
Now keep in mind Ash can't control when the fanfics begin and end
He'll try to keep his sanity with the help of his trainer friends!

(Poke roll call!)

Cambot!
(We're on!)

Misty!
(Splish, splash!)

Michelle!
(I'm not a trainer)

Broooooock!
(I'm back!)

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a fanfic
I should really just relax!"
For Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000!(TWAAAANG!)

Reverse door sequence

	Today, for a change, the screen opens on the gymnasium (what, you never 
wondered what they had in the ends of that dog-bone-shaped ship?), where Ash and 
Brock have set up a rudimentary Pokemon match ring.  The two have prepared to 
face off against each other with their "modified" lineups.  Michelle and Misty 
are sitting on the sidelines, Misty brushing Vulpix.
	"Hey, everybody!  Welcome back to the Satellite of Love!  We're just 
having a quick match up here to pass the time and so that these knuckle-heads 
can show their male-dominance," Michelle says in greeting.
	"Oh, little Vulpy and I would beat them hands down!" Misty brags loudly 
onto the field.
	"You just keep talking about that after we finish trading back!" Brock 
throws back at her.
	"Look, guys, the whole purpose of this was to show off the moves that 
you've been teaching the Pokemon so that the owners would be satisfied that you 
weren't misusing them while you had them in your possession," Michelle says.
	"Geez!  Whose stupid idea was that, anyway?" Brock exclaims.
	"It was mostly Ash whining about Pikachu, and how he hasn't seen you 
working Pikachu out since you got, and I quote, your 'grubby little hands' on 
him," Misty replies.
	"Now, that's not even true!  We go outside at least once a day for a bit 
of fresh vacuum around lunchtime, and you know it!" Brock exclaims.  "Starmie 
really enjoys it, too, by the way, Misty."
	"Look, would you two just stop arguing and get on with it, so that we can 
trade the Pokemon back and you three can get back to semi-normal life?" Michelle 
exclaims tersely.
	"Sorry, she's still a bit peeved at losing Masato," Misty explains 
quietly.  "She's been brooding ever since the last episode!"
	"I have not been brooding!  I've been day dreaming!" Michelle exclaims.
	"All righty then!  I choose you, Onix!" Ash exclaims, throwing down his 
pokeball.  In a flash of light, Onix appears, ready to battle.  His loud cry 
rocks the floor beneath everyone and breaks a few of the overhead lights.
	"Okay, then, let me see if I can do this as well as you did!" Brock 
exclaims.  "Pikachu, go!"  The yellow electric rat springs forward with his own 
fierce call.  The two meet in the middle of the floor and begin to circle each 
other.
	"Let's see how you like this one, Brock!" Ash exclaims from his square.  
"Onix, Plasma attack!"  Before anything can happen, though, the ship rocks from 
a collision elsewhere.  When the rocking dies down and stability has been re-
established, Ash looks back up at Onix.  "Hey!  I said Plasma!  Not Earthquake!"  
Onix pleads his case to Ash as Michelle and Misty stumble their ways off of the 
stands to join the others on the floor.
	"That wasn't Onix, Ash," Michelle says.  "Let's go check this out!"  The 
group rushes through the hallway through the ship, following the red warning 
lights towards whatever must have happened.  When they reach the bridge, the 
doors are locked shut.
	"Magic Voice, what's going on?" Michelle asked politely.  She had just 
recently installed a newer version of Magic Voice on the ship to give them 
information.  She was still working on the Genuine People Personality circuits, 
though.
	"What do you care?!" Magic Voice snapped back at her.
	"Well, it might be life-threatening and stuff," Michelle replied.
	"Oh, it's always about YOU, isn't it?!" Magic Voice cried back at her, the 
intonation rising slightly.
	"If the ship explodes, you're going with it," Michelle explains calmly.
	"Good!  Let it put me out of my misery!!"
	"And ours," Brock comments quietly to Ash.
	"Oh, so *that's* how it is!" Magic Voice exclaims.  "You people just don't 
care about me at all!  I'd go off and blow my brains out, but I don't have a 
body!"
	"Well, there is a perfectly good International Space Station right outside 
our window that you could go to. I'm sure they'd absolutely adore you over 
there," Brock said.
	"That's it!  I'm locking myself in my room until I starve to death!" Magic 
Voice exclaimed, turning herself off.
	"Whatever," Michelle sighed, exhausted.  She summoned one of the mindless 
automatons and sent it onto the bridge to find out what was going on.  As it 
opened the door, a strong sucking force began to pull them into the room, 
towards, most probably, open space.  Everyone grabbed ahold of something to 
anchor themselves and managed to stay on the ship until the door closed again.  
"This doesn't look good, guys," Michelle comments, pacing back and forth 
impatiently.  "We may just have to...  No, we already did that...  Or maybe we 
could...  No, the Mads blew that up last week.  Twice."
	"Well, since we are going to die, Michelle, why don't we-" Brock begins.
	"No."
	Suddenly, the droid marches back through the door, momentarily 
depressurizing the room again.  When the doors close, the droid places a small, 
metallic orb on the floor and backs away to the shadows from whence it came.  
Michelle cautiously approaches it and pokes it softly with her finger.
	"The hell...?" Michelle mumbles.  Misty rushes forward, shoving her out of 
the way to see.
	"No, don't!  It's a bomb!" Ash exclaims, diving for cover.  "Future master 
trainers and Pikachus first!!!"
	"Ooooooooo!!  What's so shiny?!" she exclaims, picking up the sphere.  The 
motion must have disturbed something, because a small hatch opened up on the 
side, facing towards Misty.
	"That's it, we're dead," Ash comments, crossing his arms where he's 
sitting.  A moment later, two small figures, about five centimeters tall each 
with blue skin emerge from the ball and glance around.  Laying eyes on Misty, 
they begin to shout at the tops of their lungs back into the sphere in an 
unintelligible language.
	"Oh, how cute!  Just like little dolls!" Misty exclaims, replacing the 
sphere on the floor.  As Misty backed away from the sphere, a large number of 
the humanoids emerged, lined up and fell to their knees before Misty.
	"Misty, I think they're worshipping you," Brock says.
	"It's about time someone did," she said, shooting a glance at Ash.
	Above them, the red lights begin to flash differently from how they had 
been a moment before.
	"Hey, guys, the Delibird gang is calling!" Michelle said.  "What're we 
supposed to do now?  We can't get to the screen on the bridge!  The ship's been 
damaged, and we could get seriously injured.  And then, they'd have to bring in 
another person..."  Her eyes suddenly light up with a plan.  Reaching beside 
her, she finds a conveniently-placed monkey wrench and throws it at Brock, 
hitting him on the head.  Brock falls to the floor unconscious.  Michelle is 
glad that no one was paying any attention to her when she threw it.  "Oh, no!  
Brock!" she exclaimed in a deliberate voice.
	"Well, that's it.  The Mads are going to kill us," Ash replied.  On the 
far wall from them, a small screen opened up and turned on.
	"Where the hell do we get all this stuff?" Ash wonders to himself.  The 
screen activates, showing a picture of the Mads in baseball suits.

Deep 251
	"Welcome to the park, little leaguers!" Jesse greets.  She's wearing a 
purple road outfit with green shoes.  "Today, we're celebrating Opening Day of 
baseball season in exactly the right way!"  She motions behind her, where a 
darkened figure is tied to a chair, blindfolded and gagged.  "We've kidnapped 
Ken Griffey Jr.!"  Meowth is wearing the generic batboy outfit, standing beside 
her.

	"You know, that's illegal," Michelle comments.

	"And?  That hasn't stopped us before.  Now, as I was saying, we're going 
to-  Is something wrong with the ship?  You seem to be a bit more... red than 
usual," Jesse says.

	"Well, we just had an unidentified metallic object slam into the ship and 
destroy a good chunk of it, and we aren't getting into the theater for the next 
few weeks at least," Michelle says, grinning.  "And Brock's been hurt pretty 
bad.  You might need to send someone up here to replace him for a while!"

	"I wouldn't be too sure of the experiment!  We've always got a spare 
theater lying around!  Now, you three are going to be going downstairs soon to 
the auxiliary theater.  Understood?" Jesse asks.  "Good!  I'll send that guy 
from the last experiment back up."

	Back on the satellite, a cloud of smoke gathers, then disappears magically 
as Masato makes his grand appearance again.  He blinks his eyes and glances 
around to try and gather his bearings.  Michelle squeals at the top of her lungs 
and rushes to throw her arms around Masato.
	"Oh, not *this* again," Masato sighs, annoyed.  

	"Now, in a minute, we'll do the inventions.  First, James!" she calls out.  
James disconsolately walks onscreen, wearing the Springfield Isotopes mascot 
suit.
	"Look, can we talk about what I've been wearing in the past few 
experiments?" James asks.
	"No.  Now, do you have the fic for them like I asked?" Jesse asks.
	"I did have it, but I lost it while I was trying to put this stupid suit 
on!" James exclaims.
	Jesse drops her head and clenches her fist angrily.  She reaches into her 
pocket and pulls out a pokeball.  Meowth backs away and takes the catcher's 
stance.  "Lickitung, go!"  Jesse throws a perfect curve ball and Meowth drops it 
to open the ball.  In a flash, Lickitung is standing the middle of the floor, 
ready to do Jesse's bidding.  "Lickitung, lick James!"  After a generous 
swabbing with the slab of tongue, James shivers in his place as Jesse reaches 
for something behind her back.
	"This brings us to our invention for the day, interestingly enough!  And 
why we borrowed Ken Griffey Jr!  The idea of ergonomics is inherently evil.  
Heck, they came up with it at a meeting of the Mad Scientists Guild of America 
about three years ago!  Now, we're applying the idea to the great American 
pastime!  Introducing, the Ergonomically Designed Bat!"  She produces a curved 
bat with grooves all along it.  The shaft is ovular instead of cylindrical.  "It 
provides comfort and ease of batting while still decreasing the efficiency of 
batting!  Now, Mister Griffey Jr., would you please stand up?"
	"I can't.  You've tied me down," Griffey replies.  Meowth promptly unties 
him and hands him the proffered bat.
	"Now, if you would demonstrate the use of this invention using our friend 
there as the ball?" Jesse asks.
	"No!  That's cruel torture!" Griffey replies.
	"How about this, if you don't then I will, and I've got a .452 batting 
average," Jesse explains.  "Now, don't make me use you as the ball."  Griffey 
shrugs and takes the bat.  Assuming the posture, he begins swinging away.  
Luckily, Tobmac has moved his sights from the scene back to Jesse, so we only 
hear the resulting thuds.  "Now, your turn, boys and girls!"

SoL
	"Sounds like that hurts," Masato comments to the camera.
	"Well, looks like we were thinking along the same lines, Oh Infinitely 
Evil Ones!" Michelle taunts.  "You know how difficult it is for umpires to make 
good calls that the crowd agrees with, right?"  Misty, Ash and Masato enter 
wearing batter, catcher, and umpire outfits, respectively.
	The three take their places and enact a pitch crossing the plate.  Ash 
brings the bat around and seemingly stops it short of going around.  Masato 
calls out at the top of his lungs, "STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERIKE!!!"
	Misty and Ash cover their ears in pain and Ash yells back, "You don't have 
to call it that loudly!  We're standing right here!"
	From the intercom system erupts a series of cries, mostly annoyed boos, 
from the crowd.
	"Well, our invention takes away the ambiguity and harsh feelings by 
producing a holographic reproduction of what just happened on a large scale so 
that the fans can see it, perhaps in slow motion so that they can get the 
benefit of every miniscule movement in the play!" Michelle explains.  In the air 
around them, a twenty-foot tall holograph of the play appears (halfway through 
the ceiling) and replays the pitch in slow motion.  Apparently, not only did 
Ash's bat come around, but he was even swinging so quickly that he turned 
completely without anyone being able to see it.  Except Masato, oddly enough.
	"We haven't come up with a name for it yet, but rest assured that when we 
do, it'll be completely awesome and cool!" Michelle exclaims.  "What do you 
think, ma'ams?"

Deep 251
	"No, sir, I don't like it," Jesse replies.  "It takes the most fun part of 
the game out of the game; arguing with the umpire!  You just did our job for us! 
Anyway, today's fic'll have to be a softball pitch called 'Summer Days Will Pass 
Away,' a Sailor Moon and Tenchi crossover by MagicSerebii, which merely goes to 
prove that Tenchi can get any girl as long as he doesn't try!  Enjoy!"

SoL
	"I don't really think I swung it that hard," Ash replies.  "Maybe the 
machine's malfunctioning."
	"What should I do about these guys?  They can't come in with us, and 
they'll die out here," Misty says.
	"Tell them to get back in the ship," Michelle says.  "They won't get 
killed in there."  Suddenly, the lights start flashing, arrows show up on the 
walls, and the klaxons begin to sound.  "Come on, guys!  We've got fanfic sign!  
Follow the arrows!"

Door 6: It's a cardboard box, it opens and lets you through.

Door 5:It's another cardboard box, it does the same.

Door 4: It's another cardboard box. Its side falls and misses your feet by 
inches.

Door3: It's another cardboard box, it opens for you. You burn it on the way 
through.

Door2: It's another cardboard box. You are made to rip through the side because 
it doesn't open for you.

Door1: It's a cardboard box with a vault door drawn on it in crayon. It swings 
open easily.

Everyone takes their seats, Ash and Misty on the left, Masato and Michelle on 
the right.

Ash: I hope those little blue guys are all right.

>Summer Days Will Pass Away: 

Misty: And what did I get from their will?

>A Tenchi/Sailor Moon Crossover by MagicSerebii

Ash: Great.  Now, someone'll just OD on hot chicks...
Masato: Good thing Brock's not here...
Michelle: I done good!

>CHAPTER ONE: New Friends, New Rivals

Ash: New odor-fighting ingredients!
Michelle: New look, same great taste!

>Tenchi climbed the stairs of the Masaki household.

Misty: Stopping briefly, only to yodel.
Michelle: (Tenchi) Who put Mount Everest under the stairs AGAIN?!

>Today was the day his
>friend Mamoru and his friends would arrive from Tokyo,

Michelle: Well, one of them is a bit more than a friend...
Ash: What, Mamoru to Tenchi?
Michelle and Masato: GYAH!!!

>and he wanted to
>remind the girls of it.

Masato: (Tenchi) By the way, some more intelligent, better looking chicks are 
coming by later on!  Hope you don't mind!

>Ayeka would be no problem, once she heard so many
>people would be coming,

Misty: What, does that mean she's only a bitch when no one else is around?
Masato: You'd be surprised what she's like when no one else is around...

>but Ryoko was another story. He sighed and dragged
>his feet, wondering how Ryoko would react to some new people in his house.

Ash: I'm more worried about how Nobuyuki will react to these new people around 
his house!
Masato: We'll need a bucket to catch all the blood from his nose!

>There were a lot of girls coming, he realized, with a sick feeling,

Michelle: Then, he realized that he wouldn't have enough beds to house them all.
Masato: Yeah, but he sure as hell's got enough TV's to do it...
Ash: Oh, don't you start...

>and
>tallied up his count of girls in the house to twelve.

Ash: YES!!!  The next round's on me!
Masato:  You know, this'd be a hell of an anime drinking game with both Sailor 
Moon and Tenchi in the same household!

>As soon as she heard him coming, Ryoko bounded out of Ayeka's room and
>wrapped her arms around Tenchi's neck.

Masato: Ummm, what was she doing in Ayeka's room, anyway?
Ash: (Grins knowingly) I don't think you want to know...
Michelle: So, now that she swings that way, why don't you give me a shot?

>"Ooh, Tenchi, so good to see you!"
>she squealed.

Misty: Oh, she says that every time she looks at him...

>"I was just here an hour ago, Ryoko," Tenchi said in a dead sort of voice.

Masato: Funny, he doesn't have a halo!
Ash: Maybe he's a zombie.

>"You don't have to take my head off every time you see me."

Michelle: (Ryoko) You DARE defy me?!  OFF WITH HIS HEAD!
Ash: Oh, boy!  Finally, something of Tenchi she can mount!
Misty: Ever notice how Ayeka and Ryoko are never in the same place at the same 
time?
Masato: What do you mean?
Misty: Ryoko and Ayeka are *the same person!!!*

>"Why hello, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said, coming from the same room.

Masato: Well, I should hope so.  It was her room, after all...
Misty: Oh, never mind.
Ash: Somebody's watched Fight Club one too many times.  Besides me, that is...

>She eyed
>Ryoko suspiciously, but still tried to look as pleasant as possible.

Masato: (Ayeka) Someone's been stealing my jelly bean collection, and I want to 
know whom!

>" I have something to tell you girls, " said Tenchi,

Michelle: (Tenchi) My name is really Tom Sellars, and I'm an insurance salesman 
from Nebraska.

>"Just to warn you. You
>know our guests from Tokyo are coming today, right?"

Ash: (Ryoko) There's a city called Tokyo?!
Misty: Yeah, and where are they all going to sleep?  It's not exactly the 
Hilton, you know.

>Ayeka nodded, curious. "Yes, your friend Mamoru and his party.

Ash: I'm sorry, but "Mamoru" and "party" don't exactly go together in the same 
sentence.
Misty: (Mamoru) Hey, guys, let's have some green tea and rice crackers before 
going out to an indy film festival!
Michelle: (Mamoru) Anybody know how to Charleston?

>What about
>them?"
>
>Tenchi swallowed hard. Time to drop the bomb. "Um.. um..."

Misty: (Tenchi) Ryoko, I think that I am pregnant!
Masato: I always knew there was something odd about him...

>his confidence
>suddenly left him and he grinned sheepishly.

Michelle: What, you mean, for a change?
Ash: The boy's more shy than a turtle in a soup factory...

>"... just wanted to remind you
>that they were, you know, coming today."

Ash: (Tenchi) And that I intend to sleep with them all over the course of a 
night.
Michelle: Well, that's about four hours per.  Sounds about right.

>Ryoko shrugged and floated off to torment Ryo-oh-ki,

Misty: You know, it's not usually a good idea to torment something that can turn 
into a fifty-foot wide space-ship.
Michelle: Especially if it can take out an entire armada on its own.

>but Ayeka frowned at
>him. "Tenchi, is there something you are not telling me?"

Masato: (Tenchi) Gods, yeah!  When I was five, I shoved a crayon up my nose 
until it stuck in my brain!  And then, when I was ten, I killed ten people with 
my bare hands!  And later on, when I was twelve, I became a gigolo!

>Tenchi scratched his head nervously. He should have known Ayeka wouldn't
>fall for this.

Michelle: Well, if she wasn't going to fall for it, then what was she going to 
fall for?
Masato: She sure fell for me!
Misty: (Tenchi) well, for the next few days, I'll be abducted by aliens.  
Bigger, meaner ones than you.  Right, be back in two weeks!

>"Well...  I was going to tell you that... well, most of
>thepeopleMamoruarebringingwithhimaregirls." He waited for her to blow up.

Ash: (Tenchi) Wait, Sasami, did you feed her the nitroglycerine like I asked?
Michelle: Great, the space bar's broken again...

>Ayeka just looked at him. There seemed to be a rough edge to her voice.

Misty: There's always a rough edge to her voice!
Michelle: She can't sing, that's for damn sure...
Masato: Like that of birds...

>"What age are the girls?"

Ash: Bronze.
Misty: I'd have to say more Early industrial.

>Tenchi sighed. A loophole. There was a loophole.

Michelle: In the fabric of her shirt.  If he only had a knitting needle, he 
could fix it!

>"Don't worry, a few years
>younger," he said.

Ash: On a related topic, I'll be spending the next five to ten years in jail.

>Ayeka smiled. "Well, that's good."
>There was no way Tenchi would be interested in younger girls.

Ash: (MagicSerebii) Not unless I've got anything to say about it!
Michelle: Yeah, he's more into the 800-1600 year range.
Masato: Sounds more like famous last words to me...

>"And there's also a girl about Sasami's age for her to play with."

Ash:  NOT THE PINK ONE!!!
Masato: (covering ears with rest) Who's the Pink One?
Michelle: It appears as if you will see for yourself...

>Ayeka gasped. "Oh, really! How wonderful!

Ash: More famous last words!

>I will tell her right now!" She
>disappeared down the stairs.

Misty: POOF!
Michelle: (Tenchi) Hello, Ziegfried!
Ash: (Ayeka) Hello, Roy!
Michelle: (Tenchi) Hello, Ziegfried!
Ash: (Ayeka) Hello, Roy!
Michelle: (Tenchi) Hello, Ziegfried!
Ash: (Ayeka) Hello, Roy!

>Tenchi sighed. "I'm glad that's over."

Michelle: Gods, even more last words!  It's like a thesaurus of "I'm about to 
experience large amounts of pain!"

>He followed her. Mamoru would be
>arriving in about fifteen minutes.
>
>                                   ~~~~~~

Masato: (singing) the worms crawl in and the worms crawl out...

>"Minako, wake up! We're almost there!"

Misty: And you're drooling on my jacket again!

>Minako awoke from slumber and sat up. Chibi-Usa was tapping her on her
>forehead.

Masato: (glaring at Chibi-Usa) What is that... THING?!?!
Ash: All behold the Pink One.  Do not look directly at the eyes...
Masato: (blinking) I can still see them when I close my eyes!

>Seeing the blonde-haired girl was awake, she sat back and called
>to Mamoru at the front of the taxi. "Minako is awake now."

Michelle: (Mamoru) Well, thank you for that news flash, Miss Brokaw!
Masato: (eyes locked again on Chibi-Usa) What hath Satan spawned this time?!  Is 
it some kind of insect?

>Mamoru laughed. "That's good. The house is just coming into view now."

Ash: Hold it, they got seven people in one taxi cab?  All the way from Tokyo to 
Okayama?!
Misty: They must have stuffed Mako in the trunk...
Ash: That's no taxi.  That's a Clown Cab!

>All of the girls trampled Usagi as they crowded for a look at their new
>temporary home.

Michelle: They've got running room in there?  That's one hell of a cab!
Ash: It's a limocab!
Misty: Make sure not to trip into the hot tub!
Masato: (trembling, eye twitching) Those eyes!  Those eyes...

>It was a large, comfortable-looking Japanese house, with a
>shrine, Rei noticed, up along the mountain.

Michelle: Leave it to her to notice a shrine...
Ash: (Usagi) Can we ever take her anywhere without her work coming with her?
Misty: I'd give her five minutes before she's sweeping a hole in the ground.

>But the rest of the girls
>weren't looking at the house, they were looking at the people in front of
>it. One, a woman with spiky long spiky blue hair,

Ash: Just to make sure there was no confusion about the style of Ryoko's hair...
Michelle: Ah, I see the Cloud look is back in style.

>was floating impatiently
>up and down,

Masato: (staring at Chibi-Usa still) Must... get... help...  Blood sugar 
rising... dangerously...

>making loud requests that they couldn't quite hear

Ash: (Ryoko) Really, Tenchi, all I need is ten thousand dollars, and I'll be 
able to pay off my bookie!  And then, we can run off to the Barbados together!

>of a boy, a
>few years younger than Mamoru, with black hair. There was another woman,
>with long purple hair,

Misty: (Minako) Purple hair?  Guys, I don't think we're in Okayama.  We're at a 
rave!

>that was talking to a smaller girl, near Chibi-Usa's
>age, with long blue hair in pigtails.

Masato: (gasps and falls over, twitching)  I can't take both!  I think I'm 
dying!
Michelle: Don't worry, I know how to do mouth to mouth!
Ash: Hey, he's already dead!
Masato: (in tears) But it HURTS!

>Two women, one with blonde hair in a
>high ponytail, tanned skin, and bright blue eyes, and another, with long
>blue hair held back with an orange headband,

Misty: Hey!  Fred Luo finally got that sex change that he'd been saving up for!
Michelle: Come on, they are so talking about Lunch!

>who appeared to be yelling at
>the blonde-haired one. And finally, what looked like a kid, a bit older than
>Chibi-Usa, with long pink hair,

Masato: Too... much... pinkness...
Misty: You gonna be okay, man?  We going to have to call that other guy in to 
take your place?
Ash: Nah, he's too much of a dork...

>that was typing on an energy-computer.

Michelle: (looks on screen) Let's see here...  Hey!  It was really Washu who 
invented Windows!
Ash: I always knew Bill Gates was Washu's bitch!

>Ami
>made a mental note to ask her about it as they pulled up to the house.

Misty: (Amy) Note to self: Kill Washu and steal all her good ideas.
Michelle: (Washu) Hey, Amy!  What's that monkey wrench behind your back?

>Ryoko studied Mamoru as he got out of the car. "Not bad. Not bad at all. He
>couldn't stand up against my Tenchi, though."

Ash: Hey, we've got a show-down of the lucky bastards in today's fic!
Misty: (Tenchi) I could get more chicks than you with a paper bag over my head!
Masato: (Mamoru) Yeah?  Well, I could get more without any stage make-up!
Misty: (Tenchi) Well, I've got chicks falling from the sky!
Masato: (Mamoru) Well, I've got them coming back from the dead!

>"Hey! What are you doing insulting my boyfriend?"

Ash: Well, you've got to admit, he is a bit of a wuss.
Michelle: (Random bad guy) Who throws a rose?!  Really!  You fight like a woman!
Misty: James Bond called.  He wants his work clothes back.  And a martini.

>Ryoko smirked at Usagi, who had suddenly appeared in front of  her, seething
>with anger. "You're his boyfriend? Little squirt."

Ash: You know, I'm kind of glad Brock's not here right now.
Michelle: (looking at Masato) So am I...
Masato: I must remember to send Brock a get well card...
Misty: (Usagi) Hey!  I'm not a tunicate!

>"Ryoko, I think we should introduce ourselves," Ayeka said quietly. When
>Ryoko looked questioningly at her, she winked.

Masato: 'Scuze me?  Those two working together?  They should be poking at each 
other with sticks by now!

>Ryoko caught on and smiled
>evilly at Usagi. "You're so right, Ayeka. I think we should." She cleared
>her throat.

Michelle: D'oh!  Hairball!
Ash: (D.T.) I don't know when I ate that...

>"I am the space pirate Ryoko. I am wanted throughout the galaxy
>for treachery and vandalism."

Michelle: And for tearing those little tags off of mattresses!
Ash: And for kicking little puppies while they weren't watching!
Misty: And for running loads of white laundry in cold water!

>Tenchi frowned at them. "Come on, guys, these are our friends-"

Ash: (Tenchi) Really!  It's just Ross, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe!

>Ayeka cut him off. "I am Princess Ayeka of the planet Jurai."

Misty: (Ayeka) Feel free to get on your knees and worship me at any time.
Masato: Yeah, I remember when she used to say that to me... every night...

>Sasami smiled at the guests. "I am also a Princess of the planet Jurai. My
>name is Sasami, and I'm Ayeka's little sister!"

Ash: (Ayeka) And this is my whip, Egmont Jargenschlaagen!  You'll get to know 
him very well over the next couple of days...

>"I am First-Class Detective Mihoshi, of the Galaxy Police!"

Michelle: (Mihoshi) Wait a minute, what did I say my name was?
Masato: You said it was Bob Barker.  Trust me.
Misty: (Mihoshi) Tact?  What's that?

>"I am Detective Kyone of the Galaxy Police, and Mihoshi is (unfortunately)
>my partner!"

Ash: Now, when you say "partner..."
Masato: (slaps Ash)

>Washu shut off the computer

Misty: (Washu) What?!  Fatal error?!  I shouldn't have tried simulating the 
creation of the universe that second time!

>and walked over to the girls and Mamoru. Ami
>noticed that she was speaking almost directly to her.

Ash: Actually, it was a bit off to the left.
Michelle: (Tenchi) Uhhh, Washu?  That's a tree...
Masato: (Washu) I know.  It's more interesting than this bunch...

>"I am mad scientist
>Washu,

Misty: (Washu) Hear me roar!
Masato: You know, I always thought of her as slightly irked.  Maybe ticked off 
at most.

>and I was imprisoned here for the last 700 years."

Ash: (Mamoru) Really!  You don't look a day over 642 and two thirds!
Masato: (Washu) Flirt!
Michelle: (Washu) Apparently, they take their parking tickets very seriously 
here on Earth...

>Her serious face
>suddenly turned mischievous and Tenchi groaned. "But you can call me Wittle
>Washu!"

Masato: (Washu) Really!  Check out this pipe I made this morning from a block of 
cedar!
Misty: Where do you think Azaka and Kamidake came from?
Ash: Just don't call her Baldiver Shagnasty.
Masato: I learned that the hard way...

>"My name is Usagi Tsukino," Usagi said, holding her hand out to Ryoko.

Misty: And in proffered hand was a partially eaten piece of cake as a peace 
offering!
Michelle: (Usagi) And... well... I won the Best Loogie-Hocker award in fourth 
grade!
Ash: Even then, her mouth muscles were very well-toned.
Michelle: (sighs exhaustedly)

>"And my name is Ami Mizuno," said Ami to Washu. "Your energy-computer is
>really quite amazing."

Masato: (Ami) Do you get Mortal Kombat on that thing?
Michelle: (Ami) Now do you have the real thing?
Ash: Maybe, like, something solid?

>"Thank you," Washu replied. It's really quite simple.

Masato: Unless, of course, you don't have a four-trillion IQ.

>You seem to like
>computers, so I'll teach you." Ami followed Washu into the house.

Michelle: At which point, Jean-Luc Picard arrives to arrest them for 
interrupting the technological development of an undeveloped civilization under 
Starfleet code 467268709143.513394326175D.  And a half.

>Ryoko was still looking at Usagi's hand. "Wh-wh-" she sputtered, shocked.

Ash: (Ryoko) Your palm!  The Unseemly Death line is about a mile long!
Misty: (Ryoko) Dude!  Your hand...!  It's huge!

>"My name is Rei Hino," Rei said to Kyone. "I was wanting to meet you.

Ash: (Rei) Except that I didn't know about you until just now.  So I guess I'll 
hold off my marriage proposal until dinner.
Masato: Yeah, that's about seven hours!  Just on schedule!

>You
>look like a nice person.

Misty: What with your shifty eyes, your tightly clenched fists, your gnashing 
teeth, your bulging forehead vein, and your frequent low-pitched growls...

>Do you want to go out for some pizzas later?"

Michelle: Hold it, a Sailor Scout not wanting a milkshake?  The official 
beverage of Americanized anime everywhere?  They're not doing it right...

>"Sure!" Kyone said, grateful. "Anything to get away from Mihoshi..."

Ash:  Anything?!  I've got a proposition for you...
Michelle: Ash, you're pushing it...

>"I'm Makoto," Makoto greeted Mihoshi. " Rei seems to have gone off with your
>pal Kyone."

Masato and Michelle: (Rei and Kiyone) They're coming to take us away, ha ha!

>Mihoshi sniffed. "I know! Isn't she so mean! She's left me all by myself!"

Ash: (Tenchi) Oh, and what are we?  Chopped liver?
Misty: Apparently, you're not pizza.

>Makoto laughed. "I have an idea! Why don't we go to the pizza place at the
>same time as them... "

Misty: (Mako) Then, eat at a different table and stare at them the whole time 
with puppy dog eyes!

>Makoto relayed the rest of her plan to Mihoshi in a
>whisper.

Ash: (Mako) (whisper, whisper) Sasquatch (whisper, whisper) in the bedroom 
(whisper, whisper) letter opener (whisper, whisper) Al Unser Jr.!

>Mihoshi giggled, and agreed...

Masato: It was one of the most vapid sounds that anyone present had ever heard.
Michelle: And upon hearing it, Makoto's IQ dropped thirty points.

>"You are Ayeka, the Princess?"

Ash: That's the Ayeka *formerly known as* princess to you!
Masato: Usually, I just called her Master.  It gets the best response.

>Ayeka was startled out of her trance by Minako's voice.

Michelle: Hold it, when did she go into one in the first place?
Ash: (Minako) You are going to rela- SLEEEEEEEEEP!!!
Misty: (Ayeka) I slip in and out of comas all the- zzzzzzzzzz...

>"Uh, yes, I am, "
>she said quickly, feeling stupid.

Masato: Hold it, she's around Mina, Serena, *and* Mihoshi, and she still feels 
stupid?  Something sounds wrong with that...

>"And you are?"

Ash: (Minako) I am Electra, Goddess of Sinful Pleasure!
Masato: Hey!  Ayeka's met her soul-mate!  Her other soul-mate, I mean...
Michelle: So, a person can have more than one soul-mate?
Masato: No.

>"Minako. Minako Aino." she grinned at Ayeka. "Me and Usagi do that all the
>time.

Masato: What, grin at Ayeka?  I catch myself doing that a lot, too.

>I can call it daydreaming, but Rei calls it spacing out. "

Michelle: Well, you *can* call it anything you want.  It won't make it any 
better.
Ash: (Mina) And the doctors call it a side-effect of a growth in my brain!

>Ayeka laughed. "It seems Ryoko is doing just that right now."

Misty: What, growing something in her brain?  Grinning at Ayeka?
Masato: I caught her doing that quite a few times, too.  Usually, it wasn't for 
something nice...

>Ryoko was still staring at Usagi's hand,

Ash: (Ryoko) I've never seen such lovely cuticles!
Misty: (Ryoko) I think the nail of your middle finger's growing a fungus.

>and the latter was getting
>extremely ticked.

Michelle: (Washu) Hey!  I'll be the mad one in this household, if you don't 
mind!

>"HEY!" she finally shouted. "What IS your problem? You've
>been staring at my hand for the last five minutes!"

Michelle: (Ryoko) My god!  Even your fingernails reek of stupidity!

>"You-you're not surprised?" Ryoko stuttered.

Ash: (Ryoko) I've been standing here naked this whole time and you haven't said 
a word!

>Usagi blanked, then grinned. "I
>guess not. Let's just say- we're used to it." Before Ryoko could ask another
>question, Rei and Kyone, who had taken a walk across the field,

Michelle: (whisper) If you write it, it will suck...!
Ash: Looks like Rei's going to take Kiyone out to the field and tell her about 
the rabbits...

>came over,
>panting slightly. "H-hey," Rei gasped. "God, that field is big. Got me out
>of breath just by running across it."

Misty: Hold it, they were walking, then running?  Rei thinks she's Flo Jo!

>she straightened. "You guys wanna go
>to the pizza place with me and Kyone?"

Ash: (Rei) Come on!  It's the cool place where a kid can be a kid!
Misty: (Kiyone) Besides, we need someone we can ditch with the bill!
Masato: (Kiyone) Or we could watch TV in the TV room of our TV house on our TV 
estate!  Just follow the TV Brick Road...
Michelle: (sighing) Masato...

>"Sure!" Usagi shouted. "I'm STARVED!!! How many toppings can you get on a
>pizza here, huh, Ryoko? I'm so hungry I could eat a horse-"

Michelle: (Usagi) Could you get Milk Duds, asparagus, and Pepto Bismol?
Masato: (Ryoko) No, but you can get liver, jelly beans, and soap flakes.
Ash: (Ukyo) You want WHAT?!

>Ryoko was slightly taken aback by the way these people were treating her.
>Like a friend.

Misty: (singing) Hey!  Touched for the very first time!

>They had only known her for a few minutes and she was already
>part of the group. She decided she liked the feeling.

Michelle: Ah, they're getting to her already...
Misty: (Usagi) Join us...  Join us...!

>"Uh, excuse me," she said, raising her voice slightly over Usagi's whining,

Masato: (Usagi) And my parents still never got me my pony...!

>"If you guys want pizza with no limits and no pay-" Usagi stopped griping
>abruptly- " Sasami makes the best pizza!"

Ash: (Ukyo) Look here, ya' blue-haired, pink-eyed freak,  the pizza business is 
my turf!
Michelle: (Sasami) Please don't hurt me, O spatula-ed one!
Masato: I was reading a fanfic the other day, and a bout of Iron Chef broke out!

>All eyes turned to the little blue-haired princess. She and Chibi-Usa were
>playing on the porch, and were introducing Ryo-oh-ki and Diana, Chibi-Usa's
>kitten. Sasami looked up, annoyed, and said "Ryoko, I've never made pizza
>before!"

Masato: (wretches violently in a conveniently placed bag) Sorry guys, saccharine 
poisoning...  The eyes got me again...
Misty: I think I'm starting to feel it, too...

>Everyone looked at Ryoko, including Tenchi and Mamoru. Ayeka looked like she
>was trying not to laugh.

Ash: (Ryoko, chanting levelly) You will make me the pizza now...
Misty: (Sasami) I will make you the pizza now...

>Ryoko sighed. "You people expect too much of me." She pulled a folded sheet
>of paper out of a nonexistent pocket in her dress,

Ash: Well, if she didn't have any pockets, then where did that come from?  And 
can I see if there's anything else there?

>disappeared, and
>reappeared in front of Sasami. "Here," she said. "Use this."

Michelle: (glances at paper)Hey!  That's the number for Domino's Pizza!

>She disappeared
>one final time, coming to a rest in her original spot, next to Usagi, who
>was looking at Ryoko in disbelief. " I didn't know you could do that!"

Ash: (Ryoko) Yeah, just a little thing I picked up in TJ.
Michelle: (Usagi) Ah, but can you do this? (removes her thumb from her left hand 
"magically")

>Ryoko smiled. "Have you ever met a space pirate?"

Masato: (Usagi) Well, once, but I think that was just a drunk hooker.

>I've met evil Queens bent on taking over the world, and mad youmas made out
>of the most ridiculous things,

Michelle: (Usagi) I've had a souped-up Nunzilla, a beef-cake enhanced department 
store receipt, and a nasty run-in with a Dr. Scholl's foot pad.
Misty: I'll take insane Youmas for $500, Alex...

>but no, no space pirates, Usagi thought,

Ash: Unless you count the bad guys from the Super S movie, but most people just 
want to disavow that ever happening in the first place.
Misty: Fan-boy...

>and
>suddenly had a terrible urge to tell her newfound friends of her powers as
>Sailor Moon, just to prove to them that she wasn't normal and boring, but
>different, like them. She waited for it to pass, and pass it did.

Michelle: Hold it, Usagi has a super-ego?!  The hell'd *that* come from?!
Ash: And the urge is caught at the twenty yard line!  He's at the ten!  The 
five!  Touch-down!!!

>She
>answered Ryoko with just a simple "No."

Masato: Which is good, since she was going to answer with "No, bitch!"

>"That's why, then," Ryoko replied, skipping nimbly over to Tenchi and
>jumping into his arms.

Masato: Unfortunately, he was distracted by the stupidity paired with the EYES, 
and he missed her.

>"Now, Tenchi," she cooed, "Why don't we tell our new
>friends about the love we share?"

Ash: (Tenchi) Well, instead of telling them, why don't we just show them the 
tape?
Masato: (Ryoko) Oh, wait!  I grabbed Sasami and Trunks by mistake!

>Makoto groaned. "Oh, man. She's even worse than Usagi with Mamoru!"

Michelle: Really?!  I wasn't aware that Ryoko went with Mamo, too!
Ash: I bet that Usagi'd have something to say about that...

>"Except ONE difference!" Ayeka shouted, running over to Tenchi and grabbing
>him in a fierce grip. "They are NOT boyfriend and girlfriend! Tenchi is
>mine!"

Masato: Now, really, Ayeka.  I thought you knew better!  Usagi and Mamoru are 
boyfriend and girlfriend!

>"No he is most certainly NOT!" yelled Ryoko, hugging Tenchi even more
>tightly. Tenchi moaned softly as his face began to turn a light purple.

Ash: Oh, he is *so* trying to stifle that nose-bleed...
Masato: Just let it flow, my friend.  It'll do you a world of good...

>Mamoru looked like he was stifling a laugh.

Misty: (Mamoru) Yes, other people's emotional discomfort amuses me!
Michelle: No, he was just sneezing.  He's unfortunately violently allegic to 
cabbit hair.

>Kyone sighed. "Here we go again!"

Misty: Oh, come on, you know you want to get in on that!
Ash: (Rei) I beg to differ!  *There* we go again!

>"Let go of Tenchi!"

Michelle: Okay, Tenchi is *not* an Eggo!

>"Tenchi is MINE!"

Masato: Mamoru, we never knew you felt that way!
Ash: Well, I could believe it about Tenchi...
Misty: That explains *so much*!

>"I said, LET GO OF HIM!"

Masato: (Charlton Heston) Get your hands off of him, you DAMN DIRTY APES!!!

>"All right, but only so we can settle this properly!"

Michelle: Over a game of Tiddly Winks!
Misty: (Ryoko) I'll high card you for him!
Ash: (Ayeka) Jan-Ken-Pon!

>Ryoko hopped out of
>Tenchi's arms and grinned wickedly at Ayeka, who was still clinging to
>Tenchi. "I'd get away from Tenchi if I were you, Miss Princess, or I just
>might have to fire!

Misty: Actually, the correct way of phrasing it these days is, "I just might 
have to downsize!"

>I'm so scared," Ayeka said coolly.

Ash: (Ryoko) Oh, so that's why your skin's so pale!  I thought it was because 
you don't do any work around here!
Masato: Skin... so pale... so smooth... (eyes glaze over momentarily)
Michelle: You *better* be thinking about me right now!
Masato: Actually, I'm not.  Is there a problem with that?
Michelle: As long as you do it about me later, then no.

>She separated from Tenchi, leaving him in
>an exhausted heap on the ground, and quickly snapped into her authoritave
>mode.

Misty: Oh, she's an author now?  What has she written lately?
Masato: She wrote the "Guide to Getting It On," fifteenth edition.
Ash: I thought she wrote "Whipping for Dummies."

>"Asaka! Kamidake!"

Michelle: Enter the sentient water heaters!
Ash: They can even make julienne fries!
Misty: Yes, but can they fry an egg while it's still in the shell?

>The two Juraian Guardians suddenly appeared. "Yes, Princess Ayeka?" they
>asked in unison.
>
>Ayeka pointed at Ryoko. "Get that demon!"

Masato: Hey!  The Pink One *is* the first one against the wall!
Ash: My prayers have been answered!

>"Yes, ma'am." Asaka and Kamidake began attacking Ryoko simultaneously.

Michelle: Is anyone else having this weird déjà vu?
Misty: The realism is amazing!  It's almost like we're watching something 
directly out of the show!

>Ryoko was hit a few times, but she refused to cry out. Ayeka smiled,
>enjoying it,

Ash: Yes, Ayeka does enjoy inflicting pain.
Masato: Yeah, I know all about that!  You should have seen her go ape-shit on 
Kagato between takes in the onsen!

>until one of Ryoko's energy lances found her. Emitting a loud
>"OUCH!", Ayeka began to whimper.

Michelle: (Ayeka, whining) Ow, you big bully!  I'm gonna go drink some milk!  
Then, I'll come and beat your face into your trachea!
Masato: Oh, dear!  Let me kiss it and make it all better!  Now, where is it 
hurting...?  Would you like your fur-trimmed gown?

>Ryoko laughed. "Had enough, princess?"
>
>Ayeka growled low in her throat. "Not yet. Asaka! Kamidake! HARDER!"

Ash: This sounds like a badly written yuri lemon!
Misty: Most yuri lemons at that...

>"Yes ma'am," said Kamidake. To Ryoko, he said, "We're sorry, Ryoko. But we
>have orders."

Ash: Would you like fries with your orders?
Michelle: (buries face in hands)  I tried so hard, and look where it got me...

>"TELL ME YOU'RE SORRY WHEN YOU'RE NOT FRYING ME!" Ryoko yelled, dodging one
>of Asaka's energy beams.
>
>Chibi-Usa turned to Sasami, her face reading disgust.

Masato: (wretches violently into the airsick bag again)
Ash: Hey!  Hers is the same reaction we had!

>"Do they always do
>that?"

Michelle: (Sasami) No, normally they use folding chairs...

>Sasami sighed. "Yep." she winked at Chibi-Usa. "I can end it if I want to."

Masato: No, Sasami, don't do it!  You have so much to live for!
Misty: Take the Pink One instead!

>Chibi-Usa sighed. "Wow. You must have a lot of power to do that."

Ash: (Sasami) Nope, I've just got the remote control.
Michelle: (Sasami) Check it out. Hey, guys!  The Soap Operas are on!
Masato: Two words: "General Hospital."

>Sasami grinned. "Not really. Just watch," She walked over to a singed and
>tired Tenchi. Kneeling by him, she voiced her concern.

Ash: "Voiced her concern?"  What is this, a PTA meeting?
Masato: Nah, it's a Union get-together.
Misty: (Sasami) Really, Tenchi, you aren't getting paid enough for this...
Michelle: Oh, sure he is!  They're just recycling stock footage.

>"Tenchi, are you all
>right?"

Michelle: (Tenchi) Oh, I'm all right.  Just a few third degree burns and a 
little internal hemorrhaging.  Could you help me find my left eye, please?

>Tenchi sighed. "At least someone cares about me. Thank you, Sasami. I think
>I just need lots of rest."

Misty: (Tenchi) And gauze.  And paddles.  And plasma.  Lots of it.  And maybe, 
if it's not too much trouble, someone to read me last rights.

>Sasami helped Tenchi up. "Come on," she said. "I'll just go work on this
>pizza recipe Ryoko gave me after we get you settled."

Ash: (Sasami) Now, where am I going to find live, skinned sea lion at this time 
of day?

>Ayeka heard her.
>
>"SASAMI!" She looked up at te battling space pirate. "Ryoko, Sasami is with
>Tenchi!"

Misty: (Ryoko) Really!  Well, let's wish them well and set off on our own to 
start a band!  We can call it "Electric Dentures!"

>Ryoko stopped fighting abruptly. "SASAMI!" she called, flying into the house
>"SASAMI! You leave Tenchi alone, you hear?" Ayeka followed her, yelling
>similar threats.

Michelle: Really!  Why are they so concerned?  She's, like, nine!
Ash: Not only is she not sexually attractive, she's jailbait!

>Rei sighed. "Geez, they fight worse than me and Usagi!"

Masato: (Rei) Now, how do I get my hands on some energy blasters...?
Misty: Those two could stick their tongues out for five times as long as Rei and 
Usagi.  Bugs be damned!

>                                   ~~~~~~

Michelle: Oh, they decided to break the monotony of the story with a scenic view 
of the lake!  Water's calm enough to sail today!

>Katsuhito was coming down from the shrine when he heard voices.

Misty: (Katsuhito) Oh, no!  The faeries are back!
Michelle: (Katsuhito) Get the leprechauns out of my head!
Ash: The Juraians may be eternal and immortal, but their minds are not.

>"Ah,
>Tenchi's guests must be here," he said aloud. "Let me see... they look about
>fifteen.

Masato: (Katsuhito) Time for the old hound dog to go to work!  Just the right 
age!

>Ah, Tenchi is becoming quite one for the girls." He sighed and
>continued on down the steps.

Michelle: And at the bottom, he loses his bearings and decides to return to the 
complete relative safety of the shrine.

>                                   ~~~~~~

Ash: Look, a breeze is going across the lake now!  It's so calming!  Almost 
makes me... zzzzzzzzzzzz...
Masato: Really!  If your hand is that unsteady, just use a ruler to draw the 
line!

>Ryoko and Ayeka could not find Tenchi anywhere in the house.

Ash: That's because he's been kidnapped by pirates who'll take him to Fiji.  
There, he'll be sold off to the highest bidder as a decorative doorstop that 
brings attractiveness and fertility.

>They called his
>name over and over again,  getting  more and more frantic with every shout.
>
>"TENCHI!!!!!!!!" Ryoko called.

Michelle: And, coincidentally enough, that *is* his name!
Misty: (covering ears) WHAT?!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU!
Ash: (Ryoko) Antonio Bander- I mean, Tenchi!  Where are you, my Latin love 
muffin?!

>"Hey, Tenchi, where are you??"
>
>Ayeka had taken a different approach.

Ash: Oh, you mean she gave up?
Masato: She was sitting in her chair in the fetal position, rocking back and 
forth and chanting, "Tenchi, not the snails...  Not the snails..."

>"SASAMI! You sniveling, backsliding little sister of mine! SASAMI!"

Masato: (coughing which sounds suspiciously like "OOC")

>Ayeka
>had never before called her little sister such things before, but she was
>getting very desperate. "SASAMI!"

Michelle: (Ayeka) Sasami!  Lunch is ready!
Misty: (Sasami) I know!  I just cooked it, you goofball!
Ash: That's genius.  Make her laugh so hard that it gives away her hiding 
place...

>Ryoko was floating up a hallway when she heard Tenchi's voice. "This REALLY
>isn't a good idea, I-"

Misty: (Tenchi) I think these paint chips may have lead in them!
Ash: (Tenchi) I really don't think anyone will watch a claymation remake of 
"Plan Nine from Outer Space."

>"TENCHI!" Ryoko cried, floating into the room it was coming from. "You-" she
>cut herself off, staring in shock. "You- you-"

Michelle: -Hakusho.
Misty: (Ryoko) You're wearing my clothes *again*?!  If you want to wear my 
spandex, you've got to ask me!

>Usagi grinned wickedly. "Tenchi was just SOOOO cute, I just couldn't
>resist."

All: (gape in disbelief)
Misty: Next time on "As the Tenchi Turns..."
Ash: I get the feeling we're dealing with a DiC dubbie who's read a few fics and 
thinks he's frickin' Tolstoy...
Michelle: Ash!  No author flames!

>Ryoko grabbed her by the arm. "You have your own boyfriend! How would he
>feel about putting the moves on MY Tenchi?"

Michelle: (Usagi) I don't know.  I don't know if Mamo swings that way.
Ash: Well, everyone else seems to be doing it, so why not jump on the bandwagon?
Masato: How ironic that, in a house full of chicks, it's the guys who get 
together.
Ash: Yeah!  Take that, Naoko Hasegawa!  Teach you not to think of that!

>Usagi stuck out her tongue at Ryoko. "He's used to it! NYYAAAHHHH!!!!"

Ash: I could see how he'd get used to her tongue.

>Mamoru walked into the room at presisely the wrong time."Hey, Tenchi, Ayeka
>told me you were missing- oh, good God."

Michelle: (suspense)  No, don't stop!  What was he missing?!

>"Help me!" Tenchi squeaked.

Misty: (Mamoru, cheerily) Now, it seems to me that you're the one who's got my 
chick.  Remind me again why I should help you do anything, you rat bastard.
Ash: He doesn't need help.  He's got eight hot chicks now, soon to be fifteen, 
hanging off of him like crystals from a chandelier.

>Ryoko turned, saw Mamoru, wrapped her arms around him. "Well, HELLO, Mamoru!
>You're awfully cute... can't imagine what I was thinking..."

Michelle: Hey!  I thought wife swapping got cut in translations!
Ash: I guess Cloverway isn't doing this one...

>"RYOKO!!!" Usagi thundered.

Masato: (Usagi) How dare you turn-about me!

>Mamoru sighed. "Tenchi, how do you edure this every single day?"

Misty: Oh, like you don't endure it every day!
Ash: (Mamoru) What's it like having six chicks hang onto your every word and 
movement...  Wait, never mind...

>"I get used to it." Usagi let go of Tenchi and started shouting incoherently
>at Ryoko. Ryoko did the same, and had to think she was mildly impressed.
>This girl knew how to scream.

Ash: (cough, cough)
Michelle: Not a word.

>"I have an idea," Mamoru shouted over the racket. "Why don't we go
>downstairs and get some of Sasami's pizza?"
>
>"I have no clue what you just said," Tenchi replied, his eye twitching, "But
>somehow I want to do it!"

Masato: I'm sorry, but that is perhaps the one most dangerous statement to make 
in this household.  You'd think he'd know better by now.

>The two black-haired young men slipped out of the room, visions of pizza
>dancing in their eyes.

Misty: Yeah, because sugar plums have just been done to death!
Michelle: I really doubt that Saint Nick soon will be here, though.
(theater doors open, signaling a break)
Masato: Come on, guys, let's get out of here...

Reverse Door Sequence

	Outside the theater, the red alert lights are still flashing, telling the 
crew that repairs hadn't been finished yet on the bridge.  The small, silver 
ball of a space-craft is sitting on the floor where Misty had left it before 
they went in.  Misty runs to check on the safety of the little blue guys inside 
it.  She lightly taps on the hatch on the side and backs away slowly to let the 
door open.
	"Well, they're still alive," Ash says as they exit the craft and begin 
bowing to Misty again.
	"What are we going to do with them?" Michelle says.  "I don't think it'd 
be right to keep them.  I mean, it's not like they're little pets or something.  
Seems to me that they're humanoid."
	"We'll have to let them go," Masato says.
	"Yeah, but how do we tell them that?" Michelle asks.  "They seem to have 
latched onto Misty as their deity."  A group of the small blue guys stand up and 
begin making their way towards the kitchen.
	"They're just so cute!" Misty says, watching them worship her with a smile 
on her face.
	"You're going to have to get them out of here before the Mads find out 
about them," Ash says.
	"Why?" Misty counters.
	"Because if the Mads find them, they will kill them," Ash replies in a 
slow voice, as though speaking to a child.
	"I guess so," Misty replies sadly.  At the change of her face to a frown, 
the small blue guys change their attention towards Ash and begin advancing on 
him, shouting angrily.
	"Ash, I think you angered the natives," Michelle says.
	"Are you kidding me?  Those things couldn't kill a fly," Ash replies.  As 
he speaks, one of the guys draws a small silver gun from his pocket and aims it 
at Ash.  When he pulls the trigger, a beam of yellow light flashes from the gun 
and hits Ash in the knee.  He instantly cries out in pain and falls to his other 
knee, holding where he has been hit.
	"Right, Ash.  What did you say when you first saw a shuckle?" Misty asked.  
The guys that had gone to the kitchen returned and sat a can of Jolt Cola beside 
Misty.  Behind them, the door to the infirmary opened and a groggy-looking Brock 
emerged, rubbing his head.
	"Brock!" Masato exclaims.  "Nice to see you looking all right!"
	"Brock!  How are you feeling?" Ash asks.
	"Well, my head kind of hurts," Brock replies.
	"I can imagine," Masato replies.  "Well, that's good.  Now, I can go home!  
I can get back to my fencing match with Jacques Cousteau!"
	Michelle's ears perks up at the proposition.  Suddenly, she calls out, 
"Hey, guys!  Look over there!" and points out the window into space.  While 
everyone is watching, she grabs the conveniently-placed monkey wrench and brings 
it down hard on Brock's skull, producing an adequately painful thud to echo 
through the room.  At the sound, everyone turns again, and Michelle quickly 
hides the wrench behind her back.  Brock falls forward, face flat on the ground 
with an equally painful thud.
	"The hell happened to him?!" Masato exclaims.
	"I don't know," Michelle says innocently.  "He just screamed and fell 
forward, screaming about the pain."
	"What?  I didn't hear him say a word!" Misty says suspiciously.
	"Oh, he was wailing at the top of his lungs, Misty.  Trust me," Michelle 
reassures her.
	"Ah, damn!  So, that means I've got to stay?!" Masato exclaims.
	"I guess so!" Michelle exclaims back, lovingly latching onto his arm 
again.
	"Oh, dammit, get the crowbar," Masato sighs to Misty, who then instructs 
her small blue guys to do it for her.  Ash continues to writhe on the floor in 
pain.  The yellow light on the wall begins to flash against the red emergency 
lights.
	"Oh, look at the time!" Michelle says cheerily.  "We've got commercial 
sign!"  She releases one hand to press the flashing button to close the channel 
momentarily.

End of Part One