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Sisters

A MSTing by M. H. Torringjan

Original story by: Koopa

	I'd like to start out by saying that this is in no way meant to make fun 
of the writer or to hurt his integrity in any way.  What I'm doing is just for 
fun, and there is no harm meant.
	This is my second MSTing, and I'm still a little green, but I'll try my 
best.  Here it goes!  I'm changing the style of my writing to see if I like it 
better.

Roll season six opening

	Scene opens to the bridge, where Mike is standing in front of a 
blackboard.  The blackboard is covered with football plays.
	"Hi, everyone!" Mike says.  'Welcome back to the Satellite of Love!"
	Mike dodges a low-flying football thrown by Tom.
	"We're just in some Spring training.  You see, we challenged the crew of 
Voyager to a game of football, so we've got to be ready."
	Tom comes on screen, holding another football(a grand feat, considering 
the fact that his arms don't work).  We hear Crow, Gypsy, and Ranma calling for 
him to pass it to them.
	"Tom, here!"
	"No, Here!"
	"No, to me!"
	"Get out of here!  I want that ball!"
	"No!  It's mine!"
	Mike shakes his head disconsolately.  He calls out to his crew, "Teamwork!  
Teamwork!"
	The commercial sign light starts flashing.
	"We'll be right back."  Mike presses the button.

	As we return from the commercials, all of the crew is playing.  Mike and 
Crow trade licks as to who gets to go out for the next pass, then Ranma takes 
the opportunity for himself.  Gypsy fiddles around with her cute, purple 
compact.
	The red Mad's light starts flashing, and Mike presses it.  "Heads up, 
guys.  Cheech and Chong are calling."

Deep 13

	Clayton Forrester's head appears in the view screen, and he starts talking 
before they get a chance to begin their activities anew.
	"Hello there, my little athletic supporters!  It's invention time!  Who 
wants to go first?"
	Frank pops out from the next room.
	"We do!" Frank yells as he drags a large box out of the room.  It has a 
tape player and a microphone attached to it.  Out with it comes a large 
television screen and some speakers.
	"Our invention this week has a good use for evil people like me and 
Frank," Forrester says. "We like our karaoke, but we can't sing worth a darn.  
When we go out on a Friday night with our other Evil Scientist friends, we go to 
a karaoke bar to hear some good tunes and relax for a while.  When we get there, 
we always hear strident voices singing good songs out of key, making them really 
bad."

SoL

	"Why don't you just find a better way to relax, or perhaps go to a 
different karaoke bar?" Mike asks.

Deep 13

	"Because there aren't any other ones in the state that will let us 
inside," Frank says with a fown.  
	"Anyway," Forrester continues, "This singing really stresses us out and 
makes us start acting strange, makes us start acting (ugh) not-evil.  This new 
type of karaoke machine stops the hassle of listening to bad karaoke songs by 
not making the bad singers sing.  It's the Lip-Synch Karaoke Machine!"

	"And I bet that most of the songs on it are by Milli Vanilli," Tom says.

	"No, but that's a good idea, Robot!  thank you!" Forrester says.  "Your 
turn!"

	"Okay, you know that invention that you guys had last week, the Papier 
Maker?" Crow says.  He hears Forrester and Frank start laughing maniacally, 
signifying that they remember.  That was how they had ended up getting rid of 
the plant in their lab.  And all they had to show for it was one lousy piece of 
paper.  "Anyway, our invention is a partner product for that, the Papier Un-
maker!"
	Ranma hauls out a small metal box with a small slit in its side to put the 
piece of paper in, and a small cup on the other side of the box.
	"You put the paper in the slot here," Ranma says, putting a piece of paper 
in the slot, "And inside, it gets turned into the original pulp material, which 
is then changed into a small pellet, which comes out here."  A small, brown ball 
comes out into the cup.  "This pellet has the chemicals and minerals needed for 
this plant to grow again, so it's just like a seed.  Pair it with our Minit 
Grow, and you've got a full-grown tree in about a minute!"

Deep 13

	"Let's see you demonstrate *that* one, Mister Smarty-pants!" Forrester 
raves, angered that he had been clearly outdone by his own experiment.  "Anyway, 
on to your experiment for today.  I've got a nasty little fanfic written by 
Koopa called 'Sisters'."

	"Is it another Sailor Moon Fanfic?" Ranma asks.

	"Don't you wish it was that easy?" Forrester asks.  "No, this time, it's a 
nice little Samurai Pizza Cats fic.  I'm letting you off easy this time.  It's 
only a page or two.  Enjoy your free ride!  Send them the fic, Frank."
	Frank was looking at the screen, watching the words move across the bottom 
of it and listening to the music at the same time.  "Dr. F, I think that the 
thing's already busted.  The words and the music are out of synch."
	"We'll worry about that later, you just send them the fic."
	Frank walks over to the console and pushes the fanfic button while 
Forrester messes with the karoke machine.

SoL

	The group is getting a short pep talk before the fic.  Not about the fic, 
but about the game.
	"Okay, guys," Mike says.  "We've got to take Tuvok out of the game early. 
Once he's down for the count, the game's ours."
	"What about Paris and Kess?" Crow asks.
	"What about 'em?" Mike asks.
	The sirens and klaxons start going off while the lights are flashing.
	"We've got fanfic sign!" everyone yells at the same time.  They started 
running into the theatre.

(Dogbone,6,5,4,3,2,1)

>Sisters

Mike: The Barbara Streisand story.

>This story is in no way a true episode.

All: (sarcastically) NOOO!!!

>It is merely fanfiction made by me.  This story does not have any major >changes.

Tom: Or a major plotline.

>It may seem as if there is going to be, but it will revert to normal.

Ranma: So, this story's a shapeshifter?

>
>Written by Koopa

Crow: ...and read by us, to our despair.

>
>Polly has just recieved a letter to telling her to come into the doctor's 
>office for a physical.

Tom: And if you could understand what that sentence said, it would help a lot.

>Polly is enraged by this,

Mike: (deadpan Polly) I'm enraged.

>and as normally she takes out her anger on Speedy and Guido.

Ranma: A suggestion, Koopa.  A grammar checker might help right there.

>
>Polly:Why do I have to go to a physical?

Mike: Because the writer/narrator says so!

>
>Guido:Maybe some thing is lose in your head.

All: Huh?
Mike: Does he mean, "something is loose in your head" or "Something is lost in 
your 	head?
Tom: The hell should we know?  This guy's obviously got some foreign language 
all his own.

>
>Speedy:Ya I mean

Tom: (Dr. Strangelove) Ya, mine Fuehrer.

>You haven't been to a physical in ages and you could be falling apart on 
>the inside as we speak.

Ranma: Ooh, a low blow on the part of Speedy.
Crow: I'm betting that Speedy wants one of those right about now.
Mike: Crow...

>
>Guido:I say shes already falling apart on the out side.
>
>Polly:Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Mike: Whoah, Polly!  Cut down on the caffeine!
Tom: That's a good sized word!  Ten "h"s and ten exclamation marks.
Ranma: She found the secret stash of exclamation marks under the cash register 
that Francine uses for her own.

>Falling apart am I!

Crow: Falling asleep are we.

>The next day Polly goes to the doctor's office.

Tom: Doctor Kevorkian's office, hopefully.

>As she goes in, she sees Speedy and Guido leaving in bandages.  (Gee, I 
>wonder how they got hurt?)

Mike: So do we.

>After about a dozen meaningless test Polly gets a blood sample taken.

Ranma: You know, Koopa, commas are our friends.
Crow: Enough with the critiquing!  Do some actual riffing, Ranma!
Ranma: All right, already!

>After the needle is taken out Polly punches the doctor in the face because 
>the shot hurt, and she got charged 30 extra dollars for hurting the doctor.

Ranma: He used a comma!  Good boy!
Crow: So, now, Polly's going to sue the doctor for malpractice because the shot 
hurt?
Ranma: With the court system these days, she'd probably win.
Tom: Wait, I thought that she was getting blood drawn.
Mike: Don't try to understand it.  You'll blow your dome.

>As Polly leaves the doctor

Crow: ...gasping for breath through a slit throat...
Mike: Crow...

>she sees Lucille going in.  As it turns out Lucille is going in to get a >physical too.

Ranma: Plot contrivance numero uno!

>After a week Polly gets a letter from the doctor again.  As Polly opens it 
>Speedy says " Gee Polly you must be really sick to be called in again."

Tom: Gee, Speedy, you must have X-ray eyes to be able to read that before 
Polly's finished opening it.
Mike: Wait a minute, guys.  The author changed the story from script to text.

>After hitting Speedy with a frying pan Polly finishes opening the letter.

Crow: (psychic reader's network-type commercial) And is the Incredible Speedy 
correct?

>It just says to come in to the doctors.

Crow: (laughs like Beavis)
Mike: (Slaps Crow on the back of his head)
Ranma: It just says, "Come into the doctors?"  That's all?

>When Polly gets there Lucille is there too. The doctor pulls them into his 
>office.

Tom: And has a quickie with them both.

>He tells them that both there blood tests were matching in some areas.

Crow: Some *areas*?
Mike: Don't go there, Crow.

>After rambling on about technical specs the doctor says it in simpler 
>terms.

Ranma: He says it in baby talk?

>(That a human could understand.)

Tom: What about a cat and a sheep, or whatever it is that Lucille is?

>The doctor says that they are sisters.  Polly and Lucille are shocked and 
>happy.

Mike: In that order?

>
>Polly:You mean I'm Lucille's sister.

Ranma: She's clarifying it for the people who couldn't understand when Koopa 
said, "The doctor says that they are sisters."
Crow: She's worse than Teletubbies.
Mike: Notice how they've gone back to script?

>
>Lucille:Wow I've never had a sister befor.

All: *Befor*?
Tom: My kingdom for a spellchecker.

>Doctor are you sure were sisters.

Ranma: What has the question mark on Koopa's keyboard gone haywire?
Mike: No, Lucille's just feeling really pushy today.
Crow: It must be her time of the month.

>
>Doctor:There is no way I can be wrong.

Mike: (Doctor) Unless, of course, those joints I had earlier are affecting my 
judgment in some way.  I can't imagine them doing that, though.

>
>Polly:This is great.

Tom: (Polly) It's great, but I could probably act a little more enthusiastic.
Ranma: No, she used up her quota of exclamation marks with that little outburst 
earlier.

>Lucille we have to catch up on old times.  Let's go.

Crow: (Lucille) But I don't wanna! Waahh!(boom!)

>
>Lucille:Ya!!!!

Tom: I don't think she's excited enough.
Mike: You see, she used up Polly's exclamation marks with her one statement.
Ranma: I don't think that we're getting out of here anytime soon.
Mike: Unless, of course, someone pulls a really big Deus ex machina thing.
All: (chanting) Machina!  Machina!

>After a week of acting like sisters Polly and Lucille get another letter 
>from the doctor.  It says that it was a huge mix up with some one called 
>Ruby and Vi.

Tom: You know, I think that we have someone watching over us up there.

>Polly and Lucille accept it.

Ranma: (writer) So should you.

>So, in all this was just a story to see if I could make a funny story.

Crow: And you FAILED MISERABLY!!
Mike: Calm down, Crow, we're out of here.

(Reverse door sequence)

	Outside, the football training equipment is set up and everyone is 
practicing on it.  Ranma pauses and walks over to Mike.
	"Okay, Mike, so about this fic," Ranma begins.  "What really bugged me was 
that this guy could use commas, we know from early parts, and yet, he didn't.  
What's up with that?"
	"Well, it's sort of like with that guy we've told you about, Oscar.  He 
knows that he could have better spelling, grammar, syntax, and plot-"
	"And lemon scenes," Crow chimes in.
	"Don't remind me," Tom says, moaning about his head blowing up multiple 
times during Oscarfics.
	"Yeah," Mike says, "And any other number of things, but we don't know why 
he doesn't fix them."
	The red Mad's light starts flashing madly.  Mike presses the button.

Deep 13

	Forrester is trapped in the wiring of the Lip-synch Karoke Machine, and 
the machine is acting up.  It is playing the music forwards, but the words are 
scrolling down the side of the screen and the voice is singing backwards.
	"Push the button, Frank," Forrester calls to his assistant.  Frank rushes 
on screen and pushes the button.

*Blip*
*Fwoosh*

And so ends my second MSTing.

MST3K created by:
Joel Hodgson

"Sisters" written by:
Koopa

Story MSTed by:
M. H. Torringjan

Send any C&C to:
jehdjh@worldnet.att.net

Keep the fanfics cirulating!

>Polly:Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!  Falling apart am I!