The Wizard of Zozo Part 2 A Chrono Trigger/Final Fantasy/Wizard of Oz crossover MSTing Original fic by: Geode MSTing by: M. H. Torringjan Outside the theatre, there is a small basket on the desk. It has a small note on it and is addressed to the three Pokemon trainers. Ash is the first to notice this and opens the package. His eyes gleam as he takes out what appears to be a pokeball, addressed to Misty. "Misty, I think that I have something here for you!" Ash calls out. Misty rushes in, knowing what's coming to her. She takes her pokeballs and opens them experimentally. Surprisingly enough, what comes out is neither Starmie or Staryu. It's Vulpix. "Uumm, Brock? I think that this is yours," Misty says nervously. She hands him the pokeball quickly. He tries to pick up Vulpix, and all he gets is a fireball in the face. The fox jumps away quickly and runs to Misty. "What's going on here?" Misty asks. "I can answer that," Jesse says from Deep 150. "This numbskull here..." she points to James, who is being repeatedly slapped by Meowth, "Sold your pokemon and then had to buy them back. He didn't know which of your Pokemon trainer ID numbers went to whom, so we got all of your Pokemon mixed up." "Damn," Misty says as she opens her other two pokeballs. She finds that she has Vulpix, Squirtle and Geodude in her possession. Brock throws his balls and they reveal that he is the owner of Starmie, Pikachu, Bulbasaur, and Pidgeotto. Ash ends up opening his five pokeballs to find Charmeleon, Onix, Zubat, Horsea, and Staryu. "You realize that we're going to have to fix this later, don't you?" Ash asks. Everyone else nods. Michelle just sat and watched them. "How?" Misty asks. "We don't have a trade station up here." "I once studied the rudimentary information about trading Pokemon," Brock replies. "I can try to build a crude contraption for trading Pokemon. I don't know exactly how effective it'll be, but it may just work." Then, Fanfic sign goes off, sending everyone running. "You'll have to worry about that later, Brock!" Michelle says as everyone rushes into the theatre. Door 6: It's a Snorlax. You play your Pokeflute and he moves without much objection (as if). Door 5: It's a wall of weeds. You get Psyduck to Cut it down. Door 4: It's a castle gate. It falls and misses your feet by inches. Door 3: It's the head of a Gyarados. It opens and you walk through. Door 2: It's a wall of fire. You grab a nearby bucket of water and throw it on, wishing that you had a Squirtle, or a Wartortle, or even a Blastoise. Door 1: It's a vault door. You turn the handle and it swings open easily. Everyone takes their seats, feeling a bit better about having their pokemon back. >The four continued on, Marle stopping every so often to ask rub her foot and >ask Ayla when she would be done "breaking" her new shoes. Ash: And now, back to the story... Michelle: Do we have to? >Then the four came >to a rather unusual site. A steel figure stood deep in the foliage on the >side of the path. Interceptor noticed it first. Misty: (Interceptor) Woof, woof! Michelle: (Marle) What's that? Jimmy fell down the well? Again? Misty: (Interceptor) Ruff, ruff! Brock: (Ayla) Maybe he say he want food! Misty: (Interceptor) Listen, you dogese-incomprehenders! I am saying, "Look at the amazingly large, strange thing that I see in the woods!" What's so hard about understanding that?! >Marle and Ayla immediately >recognized the figure. Ash: (Marle) It's Bruce Willis! Brock: (Ayla) No, wait! It Sylvester Stallone! Ash: (Marle) No, it's Jim Carrey! Brock: (Ayla) No, it Patrick Steward! >"Why? This is Robo!" Michelle: Don't ask us, it's your story! >Marle exclaimed. Ayla jumped with joy. Misty: And the people rejoiced... All: (deadpan) Yaaayy... >"Robo! You here too!" Ayla ran over and shook him. But, Robo remained still. >Ayla backed away from him. "Robo, what wrong?" Marle looked over Robo. Brock: (Marle) My God, you killed him! Ayla killed him! Quick, we've gotta get out of here, Interceptor, before she gets us, too! She'll stop at nothing! We must escape! Save yourself, dear Interceptor! >"He doesn't seem to be running, like when we found him," Marle exclaimed. >Marle looked over him. "Where is Lucca when you need her?" Suddenly, >Interceptor came from the bushes with a small can. Marle took it from >Interceptor and examined it. Ash: (Marle) "Flea and Tick Bath?" Interceptor, are you trying to tell us something? >"Gee... This looks like oil," Marle looked it over. Brock: (Marle) Vaseline Oil? What would I need that for? Michelle: (slaps Brock) Brock no baka! >She looked back to Robo. >"I wonder if this might help." Marle squeezed some oil onto a part of Robo's >arm. A horrible creaking sound came from Robo. All: (characters) AAHH!! HE'S POSSESSED!!! Run away, run away!!! >He began to flex his arm. >Robo's arm slowly took the oil from Marle's hand. He quickly applied it to >his all of his joints. His body began to function normally again. Misty: (Robo) Finally! What took you so long? You fall through a plot hole or something? >"G.. G.. Good Morning Mistress Marle," Robo exclaimed after looking around. >Marle and Ayla smiled. Michelle: (Marle) It's alive, IT'S ALIVE!!! MWA-HA-HA-HA-ha-ha-ha-ha- haaaaaaa!!! >"Robo, you're back!" Marle hugged the robot. Robo chirped. Brock: My God, what did you do to his brain, Marle! Did you add something to that oil that you didn't tell us about? Ash: I smell pot smoke... >"Where have I gone?" Robo replied. Marle scratched her head. > >"I was hoping that you could answer that," Marle told him. > >"How you get here?" Ayla asked the robot. Brock: (Robo) It has something to do with the Quantum Theory. It's very complicated, and I doubt that you would understand it. Michelle: (Ayla) Take best shot! >"I don't recall that detail. I was back in the End of Time... and now I am >here," Robo told her. Robo looked around and began walking down the path. Misty: (Robo) Come on, guys, we've gotta get out of this story pretty damn stat! >"Hey!" Marle called as he walked. Robo stopped and looked back at them. > >"Why you go without Ayla and Marle!" Ayla called. Robo chirped and squeaked. Ash: He's still acting like a bird! That's some good oil! >"It is my command to find where we are," Robo replied simply. Marle ran to >him. > >"Well, you could at least wait up! I thought you had emotions?" Marle >exclaimed. Misty: (Robo laughing hysterically) >"Miss Marle, I am capable of emotions but... I am unable to comprehend what >they really are... You see... I don't have a heart," Robo explained. Song cue. >Robo begins to boot up a midi file. All: OH, GOD!!! NOT AGAIN!!! >"ERROR: Cannot find midi source file. Destination source is incorrect," Robo >chirped after a moment. All: Thank you! >"Well, we are better off," Vincent said. Brock: Hey, guys, I think that Vincent is on our side! Michelle: Come back from the dark side, Vincent! >"Let's continue on." > >"Oh, you won't be going any where..." a voice rang out. (Shin-ra theme cues >up) Ash: (hums the Jaws theme) Misty: Still not quite there, my friend... >The Shin-ra helicopter flies over and lands on top of a nearby cottage. >Scarlet steps out of the helicopter. > >"Scarlet!" Vincent exclaimed and drew his gun. Marle prepared her crossbow. >Scarlet laughed at the sight. Michelle: (Scarlet) You guys are gonna kick my ass, and it's funny! Don't you get it? C'mon, LAUGH!!! >"Good Day my friends... I still have some business with you," Scarlet motioned >to Scarlet. Scarlet then looked to Ayla and saw she had the Red Shoes. "Oh! >So you think you can confuse me? I'll show you!" Scarlet pointed at the >group. "Fire 3!" All: MARS FIRE... IGNITE!!! Brock: (singing) Burn, Vincent, burn! Fanfic inferno! >A huge blast of flame swept towards them. Vincent held out >a yellow piece materia. Misty: It's a "Plot Device" Materia! Ash: How many AP to Master that? Misty: You receive it mastered. Ash: But then, you can only get one. Misty: That's all you need. >"Big Guard!" Vincent shouted. Rays of light streamed over them and covered >their bodies. The fire dulled as a pinkish field blocked the incoming heat. >Scarlet stamped her foot. Michelle: (Scarlet) Oh, @^@%#$@%^#&&$&#%^%^&$@#&^*%@$#*&#^%$!*&#!!! Whoops! I mean, "Oh, poo!" >"Curse you!" Scarlet screamed. Robo aimed his arm at Scarlet and his fist >went soaring into the air. The fist made direct impact with Scarlet's face. Ash: Poom! Michelle: Zock! Misty: Plam! Brock: Sushi! Rest: What? >"Owww!" Scarlet screamed as she clutched her nose. "You stupid #&@$!" Brock: Damn censors! >She >rubbed her bruised face. "I'll deal with you and the slippers later!" She >jumped back into the Shin-ra helicopter and took off. Vincent holstered his >gun. > >"Let's get a move on before we have to deal with her again," Vincent >remarked. They quickly agreed and the team was off. Michelle: In more ways in one... > > > Michelle: What is with these breaks, anyway? Misty: Maybe it's lost parts of the fic. Ash: That would explain a lot. >The team soon became covered in a deep lush forest. Marle and Ayla looked >around cautiously in the dark forest. Interceptor seemed to always be on >guard. Robo and Vincent also kept up their guard. Brock: They kept up their guard, and he really started getting grumpy from lack of sleep. Misty: Bad pun... >Marle tore a stretch of >vines blocking their way. > >"What is this place?" Marle asked Vincent. Michelle: It's the set of the "George of the Jungle." Big time wrong turn. >"This is the Ancient Forest... Fortunately, we won't have to deal any puzzles >because we're taking the easy path," Vincent told the group. Ash: And why take the easy route? Misty: He anticipated the utter stupidity of these people. >"What live in jungle?" Ayla asked Vincent. Michelle: Just one guess, but maybe Lions and Tigers and Bears? >"Hmm... Probably Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps," Vincent replied plainly. Michelle: Nice twist on old stupid idea... >"Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps... Oh My!" Marle exclaimed. > >"Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps... Oh My?" Ayla mocked Marle. > >"Behemoths, and Dragons, and Imps... Oh My," Robo stated. All: ECHO!!! >"........................................................." Vincent said with great emotion. Brock: So, he said, "Dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot-" Misty: They get the idea. Just stop right there, or you'll be going on for hours. >Suddenly, Interceptor >began to growl at something just ahead of them. Michelle: Hey, it's Geode! Kill, Interceptor! Misty: No author flames, Michelle... >"Who's there?" Vincent called out. (Cosmo Canyon theme cues up) Ash: (hums theme to Jurassic Park) Misty: You're beating a dead horse there, man... >"No one important..." a red lion remarked. He walked out from behind some >brush. Marle stood in shock. > >"He can talk!?" Marle exclaimed. Ayla looked wide eyed at the lion. Brock: (Ayla) My God! Who paint you red?! I kick his ass! >"Lion? Me get so we can eat!" Ayla leapt at the lion as Robo grabbed her >from behind. > >"It is unnecessary to promote violence in this fanfic," Robo stated. All: Oh, bite me! It's fun! (Misty punches Ash on the arm. Michelle slaps brock. Ash throws an empty pokeball at Michelle. Brock drops a rock on Misty's foot) >Vincent >scowled. Michelle: Yeah, we were acting kinda' juvenile just then... >"And flying... whoops, can't say that part yet," Vincent remarked but stopped >from spoiling a part in the story. Brock: The crashing sound which you hear in the background would be the fourth wall crumbling under the weight of this story... >"I am only passing by," the lion stated. He continued to walk past the >group. Marle followed him. Misty: (Marle) No! Wait! You didn't kill me yet! Pleeeeeeeeeeease! >"Hey wait! Could you help us?" Marle pleaded. The lion looked around. > >"I can't help anyone... My father was a failure and therefore I am one," the >lion stated. Ash: (nagging parent) Well, if your father jumped off a cliff, would you do it, too? Michelle: Please! >"He seems to have very low self esteem," Robo chirped. Ayla snapped her >fingers. > >"Hey Marle! Why don't we ask wizzerd for self steam!" Misty: (Marle) Because we don't want him to turn us into big teapots! >Ayla tried to >reiterate what Robo said. Marle though over the proposition. Ash: (Marle) Let's see here, should I use "in?" Or maybe "on!" No, I know! "Under!" Brock: That would be "preposition," Ash... >"Gee, this wizard must have no life if he has all this time to help us!" Michelle: You know, he thinks the same thing about you for actually needing help! >Marle thought out loud. "Mr. Lion... Please come with us!" The lion looked >back. > >"I will only come with you because it's in the script..." (crashing sound is heard in the theatre) Michelle: I don't think that the fourth wall can really take this much constant bashing. Misty: What happens if it breaks? Michelle: You seen many episodes of Star Trek? Misty: Not much. Michelle: In that case, let's just say that it's a very not-good thing. It would cause the Einsteinium cores of the ship to rupture and form a space-time rift about as wide across as the horse-head nebula? Brock: (face-faults) Duuuhhhh... Michelle: Okay. I'll put it in layman's terms. We'll all be very dead-ish. Ash: Why do they have to put these dangerous things in these types of ships? Michelle: It wasn't originally intended for this type of use. >the lion stated >bluntly, "My name is Nanaki AKA Red XIII, but you may call me Mr. Lion..." Brock: Oh, come on! If you look clearly, you'll see that Red is obviously a wolf! Ash: Yeah, right! I'm gonna have to go with Geode on this one. He's a lion. Brock: How so? Ash: Well, he has a mange, his tail is too long for a wolf, and his face is so feline that Garfield might mistake Red for his mother if he wasn't careful! Brock: Yeah? Well, look at those legs! They're the legs of a canine! He howls at the moon! And that so-called "feline face" is almost White-Fang material! Misty: Ummm, guys, the fic? >"All right Mr. Lion... Let's continue," Vincent said snickering. Wait till I >tell Cid about this joke, Vincent thought. Michelle: Which one, I mean you could be telling a whole village by those standards that you just gave! >They began to depart when Ayla >stopped. They all turned to her. > >"Hey, lion supposed to sing!" Ayla called. They all looked to Red XIII. Misty: (Red) What, do I look like a flippin' songbird, here to sing for your amusement?! Is that what you're saying?! >"I don't know any songs..." Red XIII stated and continued. Ayla rushed in >front of him. Brock: Except for Aerosmith, and you can't really call that music... >"You have to sing! Part of script!" Ayla commanded. (a violent crash tears across the ship) Michelle: Ummm, guys, if we don't get through this part of the fic, I love you all! >Red XIII sighed. He >coughed. Brock: A medical examination? Now? Why? >"You already sang the opera theme so..." Red XIII muttered. "Oh Magus Oh >Magus... Your eyes shine like the stars yada yada yada..." Red XIII spit on the >ground and continued on. Ash: Yeah, that's real Grammy material if I ever saw it! > > > Ash: And now, a short intermission... Michelle: Not falling for it...*sits still for a moment* I CAN'T TAKE IT!!! *gets up and rushes the door. Brock and Misty stop her before she gets there* Brock: Don't do it! The Mads'll kill you! >"So, they think they can scare me off do they!!!" Scarlet screeched at a >moogle. Scarlet dabbed her nose with a wet towel. "Well, I'll show them!" >She went over to the Shin-ra computer. A visual of the team came up on the >monitor. "Oh no! They're nearing Emerald Weapon City!" Misty: A city full of Emerald Weapons? They won't last a minute, even with the Underwater Materia... >Scarlet whined. "I >can't let them continue!" She picked up an intercom radio. "My minions, cast >Sleep across the field!" Instantly, three moogles appeared on the screen. Michelle: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, and Speak No Evil? Brock: Larry, Curly, and Moe? Misty: The Marx Brothers? Ash: Winkin, Blinkin, and Nod? >Beating their small wings, they soared towards the field. They pointed to >the team. > >"Sleep!" the moogles squeaked. A moon appeared and began to make white dust >fall on the team. Scarlet crossed her arms across her chest. Ash: (Scarlet) I'll make them try my makeup if I have to airdrop it on them! >"That'll fix them!" Scarlet told herself. > > > Michelle: But seriously, what is the point of all these breaks! They're big enough to drive Mack trucks through! >"Ayla... What is this strange stuff?" Marle coughed. She started to become >drowsy. > >"Maybe it snow?" Ayla suggested, as she felt tired. Misty: Maybe it in middle of flippin' August, and ain't no damn way it snowing? >"This is some sort of spell," Vincent quickly said. "You must resist it!" >Red XIII stopped in his tracks. > >"I realize this is a bad sign but, I don't care," Red XIII said as he curled >up on the ground. > >"We must stop this substance from continuing to decrease our stamina," Robo >chirped. Ash: Translation? Brock: We gotta stay awake. Ash: Why? Brock: Not us, them. Ash: I repeat. Why? >Marle, Interceptor, and Ayla collapsed of exhaustion. > >"What can we do... I don't have a Ribbon!" Vincent exclaimed. Robo clicked for >a moment. Michelle: Well, that's because you're not a present. Brock: I wish that they would wrap it up... >"I wish I could summon Unicorn right now," Robo chirped. > >"We really need help..." Vincent told the robot. Suddenly Terra appeared in >the sky above them. Misty: And now for the Deus Ex Machina to bail their sorry asses out! >"Time for a big Dispel," Terra looked over the witches work. "Dispel!" Huge >black rays waved over the team. The snow faded into harmless flower petals. Ash: (a la witch) Poppies! Michelle: You missed your cue... >Scarlet's jaw dropped as she watched. Terra disappeared from the sky. Marle >clutched her head as she regained consciousness. Brock: (Marle) My God, what did I do last night? And why am I and Ayla both naked? Misty: (slaps Brock) >Interceptor and Red XIII >also began to awaken. > >"Oh damn, I thought all this #&*@ was a dream..." Red XIII moaned. Michelle: (nagging mother) Watch your goddam mouth, young man! Now I want you to stop that f***ing cussing! Now, go and wash your $&^%*@# mouth out with soap! >Marle saw >that Ayla was still asleep. > >"Ahhh... Now's my chance to get my Red Shoes back!" Marle edged towards Ayla. >As she laid a finger on the shoe, Ayla's eyes opened wide. Ash: (Ayla, whining) Mommy, I had a bad dream! >"Me not done breaking yet!" Ayla reminded Marle. Marle stamped her foot and >stepped on a rock. She cried out and scowled. Misty: Man, that glower could make flowers wilt! >"Let us hurry to Emerald Weapon City!" Vincent reminded them. > >"Why there?" Marle asked. Brock: One word about the script, I go postal on everyone's asses... >"That is where the wizard resides..." Vincent stated. All: *gasp* Michelle: They didn't take a pot shot at the fourth wall?!?! Misty: It has been declared a national holiday!!! > > > Ash: Maybe they're gaps in the story where the fourth wall has sucked in parts of the text to repair itself by absorbing the amount of matter that was knocked out of it by those seemingly innocent cracks in the story... >The team slowly approached Emerald Weapon City. > >"Wow, this is huge!" Marle remarked at the sight. Vincent chuckled. Ash: (still ranting) I'm telling you, it's a government conspiracy! The Nazis are in on this! Just like Little Debbies cakes! And the "good old fashioned" apple pie? That's just a pie-colored rock with a little spy-camera... >"You're lucky! This place doesn't exist in the Japanese version of this >fanfic... People who read that have to wait for Wizard of Zozo International," (rumbling in the ship interrupts Ash's ranting. As the fic rolls on, the doors crack open, exposing a raging fire outside.) Michelle: That's not good... Brock: Darn skippy it ain't! Michelle: It looks like A, we die in a blast that takes out the ship and this half of the space-time-continuum, or B, one of us seflessly sacrifices their life to save the rest of humanity and ourselves. Ash: How did you arrive at that conclusion? Michelle: It's standard procedure. Who's it gonna be? (no volunteers) Ash: Well, guys, no insults meant, but I say that if I'm going out, I'm taking everyone with me. Misty: I just have this enmity towards pain... (Moment of silence) Brock: Ah, why not? Michelle: You're a brave, brave man... (Brock walks away into the door sequence to try and stop the fourth wall from collapsing in on reality. The Doors close behind him. Everything seems back to normal) Michelle: He was a stupid, stupid man... Man, we missed a lot of the fic... >"Why! Those are the Red Shoes! I'm sorry... That's a chocobo of a different >color. You can certainly come in!" Edgar said and gestured to come in. >"Welcome to my kingdom." Ash: (hums theme to Fantasy Island) Misty: Still not quite there... >"This isn't your kingdom!" another guard shouted. Edgar scowled at him. > >"Shut up!" Edgar shouted back. Michelle: You know, the fic should take its own advice... >The team filed into the extravagant green >city. > >"I shall personally lead you on a tour through the city," Edgar told the >group. Ash: (tour guide) And on your left, we have a naked pig... Michelle: Rather obscure reference... >"Are we gonna see the wizard now?" Marle asked. > >"Not yet... First we shall get you cleaned up!" Edgar told the team. Misty: (Edgar) And I shall do the honors myself! >He >gestured to a golden chocobo pulling a cart. "Hop on." > >"This strange bird. Can Ayla eat?" Ayla asked hopefully. Edgar shook his >head. > >"This bird is the chocobo of a different color I was referring to!" Edgar >said. Michelle: Well, Gold is a rare choccobo, admitted, but I would hardly call it a "different" color. >The team slowly made their way through the city. > >"Hey! The chocobo is purple now!" Marle remarked as they went on. Michelle: Still not exactly "different". I mean, they're rather common on the circuits. >"Hmm... Different color. Can Ayla eat now?" Ayla continued to ask. The team >eventually came to the inn. The chocobo was now black. Michelle: Well, that one just periodically shows up. Not different. Misty: They get the point... >"We'll now get you all cleaned up!" Edgar said as he gestured to some >servants of the city. He walked over to one of the female servants. Ash: Man, where's some Happosai side gags when you need them? >"You know... You can clean me up too," Edgar told her. She slapped him across >the face. Ash: It's just not the same... But it'll have to do... >"Oww..." Each character was brought to a station. Vincent was >brought to a makeup station to spruce up, against his will. Red XIII was >brought to a barber salon, much against his will. Michelle: Ooh, bad move... Red hates wearing bows... >Robo was brought to the >neighborhood CompZozo to get upgraded. Misty: Unfortunately, he opted to get Windows '95 installed and walked around for the rest of the day saying "Abort, Retry, Fail!" >Interceptor was brought into a >petshop for a flea bath, much against his will. Ayla and Marle were brought >to a beauty salon. Ash: God knows they need it. >"Scrub Scrub, brush, brush, bruuuuuussssshhhh..." Vincent shot the radio in >the makeup area. Michelle: (Vincent) That was a barber-shop quartet singer that I just shot, wasn't it? >"That's %&@*(^ better," Vincent said putting away his gun. Misty: You know, it's at this point in an adventure that you really should just turn the gun on yourself... >After all was said and done. Most of the group probably didn't want the >spruce up. Marle had managed to get some cheap imitation Emerald Slippers. >It was wither that or Ruby Slippers. Suddenly in the sky, the Shin-ra plane >flew into view. (Shin-ra theme cues up) Ash: (hums "It's the End Of the World As We Know It") Misty: Just give it up, man... >"Ha Ha Ha!" Scarlet screeched over her megaphone. The helicopter began to >make a smoke message. Michelle: B-u-y-M-a-r-l-b-o-r-o-L-i-g-h-t-s... Misty: No. Just flat-out no. >"Giiiiivvvveeee uuuupppp..." Vincent read. > >"...Maaaarrrrlllleeee...?" Red XIII continued. Ash: "Givee upp Marllee?" Spanish, I think? >"Roihclem?" Robo said. Marle kicked him in the back. "Oh fatal exception OE >error... Sorry. It says, "Give up Marle." Misty: Well, thank you for clearing that up, Mister Einstein... >"Who's Marle?" the citizens began to ask. > >"We must hurry to see the wizard!" Vincent said aloud. They quickly rushed >to the wizard's hall. > >"Hold back! Hold back!" Vicks and Wedge shouted. "No one gets to see the >wizard!" Ash: (Vicks) Well, except for his Friday night "escorts"... >The two imperial soldiers were busy keeping other citizens at bay. > >"It's all over... Let's riot!" a citizen shouted. Vicks grabbed him and >blasted him. Michelle: Rodney King to the extreme... Misty: Where's a video camera when you need it? >"No rioting today..." Vicks said to the other citizens. The mob dispersed >leaving the team. > >"Excuse me sirs, we need to see the wizard right away!" Marle asked the >soldiers. The soldiers bother laughed. Misty: Well, I don't know who this "laughed" person is, but they sure are bothering me... >"Are you kidding? No gets to see the wizard!" Wedge told her. > >"Not even I have seen the wizard!" Vicks said. Michelle: (Marle) Then, how do you even know that he exists? Ash: (Vicks) He says so... Misty: Sounds familiar... >"Then how do you know he's there you moron!" Vincent was tired of all these >requoted lines. Misty: Which reminds me... I wonder what happened to Brock... Ash: We'll go check later... >"Ummm... Oh Just shut up! You can't see him!" Vicks said. > >"But we've got the Red Shoes!" Marle told them. Vicks and Wedge looked down. > >"So they are..." Wedge muttered. He whispered something to Wedge. Ash: (Vicks) Wedge, are you talking to yourself again? Michelle: (Wedge) But my personalities are arguing! >Vicks >nodded. > >"What you say?" Ayla demanded. Misty: (Vicks) I don't know. He never talks to me. It's always his pretend friends... >"Nothing... We just thought your lion friend looks like Dennis Rodman... But >that's besides the point... We'll inform the wizard's secretary immediately." >They marched off. Vincent started laughing. Michelle: (Vincent) Oh, gosh, I was just remembering Ziggy this morning! >"I really hate being here..." Red XIII said aloud. Song cue. "I'm not going to >sing!" Red XIII shouted. Song cues off. Ash: Thank you! That's the first sensible thing that anyone has done in this whole fic! >Times passed slowly where a song was >supposed to be. Ash: (Red) Trust me, folks, this is more interesting than the song would have been. >Vicks and Wedge soon came back. > >The soldiers soon returned. Misty: This announcement has been brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department! Remember to repeat yourself whenever you're able to repeat yourself! >"You can only see the wizard if you get the witch's necklace... He'll make an >exception and see you," Vicks explained. > >"That mean's we must go to the witch's castle," Robo chirped. Michelle: Well, why? I mean, they're having a sale on Witch's Necklaces at your friendly neighborhood Van Scoy Jewelry Outlet! >"The last place I'd want to go..." Marle murmured. > >"Fine," Vincent told the men, "We shall get the necklace and return." Misty: (Vincent) But I want to be able to keep it. It goes with my cape... > > > Ash: Maybe it's a place where the worms were getting to the fic before Team Rocket dug it up... >"This place is worse than the Ancient Forest," Marle said as she saw bats >hanging from a tree. Michelle: Yah! How'd they get there?! They must have transported! Misty: I'm guessing that Epoch followed them. >"This is the Phantom Forest... The road to the castle and the home of the >Phantom train," Vincent told the team. He pointed to a set of tracks. They >continued on. A few seconds later. The Phantom Train zoomed by and collided >with an Amtrack car. Ash: An actual stab in the dark for humor without bashing the fourth wall! Michelle: I think that Geode has evolved... >The team came to a sign in the forest. > >"I'd turn back if I were you..." Red XIII said allowed. "Well, I guess we >should turn back." Misty: Does this fic have a short memory span? It doesn't even remember what it just said... >"Oh no you don't," Vincent started. "You're coming too!" > > > Ash: Maybe they're lemon scenes that were edited out in the final copy for the PG-13 rating... >"Hmm... So they think they can get by beautiful necklace? I'll see that their >coming to my castle was a big mistake. Mog!" Misty: (Scarlet) Oh, I'm sorry, must have been something I ate! >Scarlet screamed. > >"Kupoyes?" Mog asked from the doorway. Michelle: Translation; Yes, your high and mighty bitchiness? >"Rally your moogles and capture the girl with the shoes that I want!" >Scarlet commanded. Mog nodded sadly. > >"We'll see how you deal with this little set back!" Scarlet laughed. The >moogles filed onto the castle's roof. Michelle: ...and started to form the words, "Santa Land Here!" >"Kupoppopo! Attack formation!" Mog squeaked. The moogles took off and formed >an arrowhead formation. The moogles flew towards the forest with jet engine >sound effects. Michelle: Hot Shots or Top Gun? > > > Ash: Maybe they're where aliens have come and- Michelle: Just stop, Ash. You won't come to any conclusion like that. >"Hey! What's that sound?" Marle asked. Suddenly the moogles burst through >the trees. > >"It's an ambush!" Robo clicked. Misty: (singing, sort of) Sabotage! Sabotage! dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, Sabotage! >"Let's see these moogles in action!" Red XIII growled. "Cosmo Memory!" A red >aura of light surrounded him. A huge fireball formed in the sky and smashed >into the forest. The fireball unfortunately missed every target. Michelle: ...and ironically killed the last two animals of a dying species. The EPA goon squad then came and carted everyone in this fic away for either aiding or being accessories to special destruction... >"Wind resistance is the problem," Robo chirped. One of the moogles grabbed >Marle. > >"Let go of me you... thing!" Marle screamed. She was lifted off the ground. Ash: (Marle) No, really! I'm not your type! I wouldn't be able to live up to your expectations! >"Kupo kupino these shoes?" the moogle asked Mog. > >"Ummm... Me think so kupo!" Mog commented. Another moogle managed to grab >Interceptor. Michelle: (sports announcer) And play is stopped at the fifty yard line! Ash: Flag on the play, how did it get there? >"Me get moogles!" Ayla screamed. She jumped up and grabbed a moogle in the >air. The moogle flipped his spear around and jabbed Ayla in the stomach. She >clutched her chest and fell to the ground. Misty: Oh, no! She's fallen, and she can't get up! Michelle: Good! >"Escape!" Mog shouted. The moogles took off back into the air with >Interceptor and Marle. Harrier jet sound effects help the scene. Robo, Ayla, >and Red XIII quickly brushed themselves off. Misty: They didn't want to go out with themselves? >"Where's Vincent?" Robo asked. They looked and saw Vincent lying, >dismembered, on the ground. Ash: Well, I think that we can tell who he doesn't like. Michelle: Nah, it's just a coincidence... >"Scarecrow dead!" Ayla shrieked. > > > Ash: I'm out of suggestions. Michelle: I think that I can help. Maybe that's where the quantum theory doesn't apply because nobody's watching for that short amount of time... Ash: Shroedinger's Cat, anyone? Misty: I personally never watch the thing... >"We have her your majesty," a moogle told Scarlet. > >"Excellent... You have done well!" Scarlet laughed. She followed the moogle to >a chamber with Marle and Interceptor being held captive. Scarlet looked over >Marle. Michelle: (Scarlet) I'll pay fifty dollars for her... Ash: Michelle, think real hard about what you just said. Michelle: (thinks for a moment, then slaps herself) >"Wait a minute! You fools!!" Scarlet screamed. "She wasn't the one!" Scarlet >got red with fury. She removed Marle's shoes and waved them at the moogle. >"These are cheap imitations! Like the American FF7 figures. Errr... Bolt 2!!!" >She pointed at a moogle. A bolt of light zapped him in the behind. Misty: Ahh, the good-humored sight-gags that never work on paper and very rarely work on the screen... >He ran >away in fear. "Well... At least I know they are coming for you! Guards get the >dog!" > >"No! Interceptor run!" Marle screamed. Ash: (Marle) Run, Interceptor, run! Michelle: (singing) Dog on the run... Dog on the run... Misty: See... Spot... run... Run, Spot, run! >Interceptor bit his captor and began >to run. He quickly turned and bit Scarlet in the butt. > >"Oww! Get him!" Scarlet wailed. Interceptor quickly ran off. The moogles >rushed after him but they crashed into each other. > >"Ha! He got away!" Marle taunted Scarlet. Misty: Ironically, in the escape, Interceptor ran into the road and was hit by a passing Shin-ra van. >"You'll wish you were that dog in a moment you #%@&$! Ash: Well, if she was the dog, then she would be a #%@&$... >Take her to the >dungeon and put her in the cell with... you know," Scarlet commanded the >moogles. Michelle: (moogle) Oh, you mean in the cell with Jimmy Hoffa, Elvis, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness monster, Tupac, Biggie, Paul McCartney, and the others? >The moogles grabbed Marle and hauled her down to the dungeon. They >quickly unlocked a cell and tossed her in. Marle looked around the cell. She >noticed that someone else was in there with her. Michelle: Oh, am I right? > > > Michelle: Okay, I'm gonna go with Occum's razor and just say that this is the result of bad editing... >"I am dead... This is my sin," Vincent babbled. Robo and Ayla continued to >stuff Vincent back together. After a few more piles of straw, Vincent was >back together. Ash: (Vincent) Was that hand supposed to go above my neck? And what about that foot? Is it supposed to go at the end of the arm? Michelle: (Ayla) Don't argue, straw-boy! >"We must go on to the witch's castle," Vincent said after fixing himself. > >"But how, we don't even know where the castle is!" Robo chirped. Then, >Interceptor rushed out of the underbrush to the team. > >"Interceptor. He lead us to %#&@*!" Ayla said defiantly. Misty: (Interceptor) Bark, bark, ruff, bark... Ruff... Woof! (Translation: What, you want me to take you guys to yourselves?) > > > Michelle: I'm out of these jokes... Ash: Me, too... Misty: I'll give it a try. I think that those are potholes in the story from excessive usage... Michelle: Who would use it in the first place? >"Who's there?" Marle asked backed up against the cage. > >"The one who should be starring in this story," a voice said. The voice came >from beyond a pale beam of moonlight. Misty: (singing) Geode fit the battle of bad fanfics, the walls come tumbling down... >"What?" Marle asked confused. The figure got up. Two barefeet stepped into >the light. The figure continued to step forward. Marle then saw that the >figure was a woman. A black miniskirt and a white tank top came into view. > >"I should have been Dorothy in this fanfic with Cloud!" the woman raved. Michelle: Look, we left that load of a cameo back in Guardia! >Her >face came into the light. "But no, you had to mess everything up!" > >"Mess everything up?" Marle was still confused. The woman grabbed Marle by >her shoulder. Ash: (woman) Now I'm pregnant, and it's all your fault! Michelle: (slaps Ash) >"I'm Tifa you fool! From Final Fantasy 7!" Tifa shouted. "I was going to be >Dorothy until the author of this fanfic decided that you were a better >choice!" > >"I don't know what you're talking about!" Marle asked. Misty: Don't feel left out. We don't either. We don't know what the hell this whole fic was talking about! >"Don't play dumb with me! I'll teach you to steal my part!" Tifa shouted. >She kicked Marle in the chest. > >"Oww! Hey!" Marle protested. Michelle: Ahh, nothing like a good old-fashioned internal anti-fic to release the stress. >"I'm the one that should have been wearing the Red Shoes see!" Tifa said. >She grabbed Marle's head and kicked her across the face. Then, Tifa suddenly >became hysterical and began to cry. Marle went into deep thought. Ash: (Marle) Wow! The answer really *is* 42! >"I wonder if this is a huge story being written by someone who is using >characters from different rpg games... Misty: ...and in a sudden flash of realization, she goes on an insane rampage, screaming something about writer's prerogative while mowing people down with an AK-47... >nah," Marle wondered. > >"This doesn't seem like a castle at all..." Robo chirped. (Shin-ra theme cues >up. Yep I'm really wearing this out) Ash: Then, why don't you stop it? Misty: Just wait until the royalties bill comes in... >"This is the Shin-ra building... This can only be Scarlet's castle," Vincent >told the team. (Magus' theme cuts in) The team moved towards the main gates. >Chocobo guards marched across the bridge. Michelle: Anyone got some greens? >"Wooheehoo, Heehooowooo... Wooheehoo, heehooowooo..." the chocobo guards >chorused. Misty: They're taking part in an ancient druid ritual! Ash: For what? Misty: Let me check... (pulls out her handy-dandy book of Druid rituals) Either they're doing a ritual to call upon the spirit of Oscar, or this book is out of date... Michelle: Please, let it be out of date... >"How will we sneak past those guards?" Red XIII asked Vincent. > >"We won't," Vincent said. He removed a purple piece of materia from his >pocket. He tossed past the chocobos. They immediately chased after it. > >"What was that stone?" Robo inquired. > >"Chocobo Lure Materia. Come on let's hurry and find Marle!" Vincent urged >the group on. Michelle: You know, that was slightly amusing... See my lips quivering? > > > Ash: Maybe they're those plot holes that I've been hearing so much about... >After a few moments, Tifa had explained the whole concept of Square and >fanfiction. Despite the terrible realization that she was just a pawn in the >game, Marle took it pretty well. Misty: Sure, she has her own personal fourth wall broken down, and she takes it like it happens every day. She should be a quivering mass of pudding, murmuring something about Pop Tarts and Jello. >"Why are you so upset about me being the uhh... "main character" of this... >"fanfic" was it?" Marle inquired. "I'm sure their were other characters that >didn't get in it... like Butz, Lenna and Faris! They aren't here!" Someone >whistled from across the room. Michelle: (referee) I'm calling illegal fanficcing on the author of this story. 20 yard penalty! >"We're here!" Butz shouted from another cell. They were busy playing cards. >"We're waiting for Galuf or Cid (FF5) to save us." Ash: Hey, it's the Stock Character's Guild! >Marle went over to the >hysterical Tifa. > >"Let's find a way out of here!" Marle urged Tifa. > >"It's hopeless," Tifa sobbed. "I'm doomed to be made fun of!" Misty: Uh-oh! They've caught on to us! The jig is up! >Suddenly, >Vincent, Interceptor, Red XIII and Ayla rushed into the dungeon. > >"Stand back!" Vincent shouted. Marle jumped back as Vincent shot the lock on >the cage. Michelle: Deus Ex Machina Brigade to the rescue! Misty: (exasperated) Mon dieu... >"Let us depart!" Robo told Marle. Vincent saw Tifa in the cell. Vincent put >out his hand. > >"Come with me if you want to live..." Vincent quoted. If he had to quote >something, it might as well be good. Ash: And where exactly would that obscure reference be from? >Tifa looked at his hand for a moment >and then took it. Red XIII stopped in front of Butz's cell. > >"Hey guys, would you like to come with us?" Red XIII asked. Lenna looked up >from her cards. Ash: (Lenna) Is that an offer? Michelle: Ash... >"Nah... We'll wait for Galuf, but thanks anyway," Lenna told Red XIII. The >team rushed from the dungeon towards the Shin-ra elevator. Chocobo guards >rushed into the team's path. > >"Oh $#%@!" Vincent growled. Misty: (Geode) You called? Michelle: Misty! No author flames! >Chocobo guards and moogles closed around them. >Scarlet entered the crowd. Michelle: (Scarlet) I've always relied upon the kindness of lackies... >"Ah! Well if it isn't my friends with the shoes! And my old $#@&* friend >Tifa. I trust you'll hand them over if you want to live?" Scarlet asked >laughing. Ayla looked over the situation and removed her shoes. She gave >them to Marle. > >"They fixed now..." Ayla said quickly. Marle looked down at the shoes. Ash: (Marle) But you said that you were going to break them! Here! Michelle: (Ayla) No, I said fix. No way! Ash: (Marle) No, that's okay, you can continue breaking them. Take the damn things! Michelle: (Ayla) Why want to break prefect pair of shoes? Keep damn things! Ash: (Marle) Maybe I like them broken. Take 'em! Michelle: (Ayla) But then they no good. No way in hell I taking shoes! >"Not a chance Scarlet!" Marle shouted. Scarlet looked angry. > >"Then I'll just have to do something evil!" Scarlet shouted. She raised her >fist. "Fire 3!" A huge ball of flame formed in her hand. "Now, you will die... >huh?" A sudden rush of water could be heard in the distance. Misty: It's the second flood! Where's Noah when you need him?! >A bell went >off. The sprinkler system fired up and poured water down on the fire. "Oh >no! My makeup... it's rubbing off! I'm.. I'm melting... MELTING. Oh what a >world!" Scarlet screamed as she sank into the floor. Everyone looked down at >the floor. Ash: (Ayla) Ooh, caramel coating! Anyone got apples? >"The wicked witch of the west is dead!" Mog shouted. > >"We didn't mean to..." Marle began. > >"Oh, I meant it!" Vincent added. Michelle: (Mog) He meant it! Kill him!! >"Hurray! The witch is dead!" another moogle added. > >"Wooheehoo!" a chocobo chirped. > >"We've done it," Robo told the team. Ayla reached into the mess of Scarlet >and pulled out the necklace. Misty: Hey, there was a prize inside that Wicked Witch! >"And we have pretty necklace too!" Ayla told them. > > > Ash: Any more suggestions? Michelle: Nope. Misty: No. Ash: Then, let's just ignore them. Maybe they'll go away. >"What do you mean the wizard won't see us! We got his stupid necklace!" >Vincent shouted. > >"I'm sorry but, the wizard will only see one called Marle," Vicks said. > >"I'm Marle! Haven't you been following the story?" Marle was getting used to >this story idea. Michelle: Maybe a brick from the fourth wall crumbling will fall and hit her on the head... Misty: Brick, my ass! She should have gone on an insane killing spree by this point! >"You're Marle!? Well why didn't you say so!" Wedge gestured down the hall. >Vincent, Tifa, Red XIII, Interceptor, Marle and Ayla slowly walked down the >hall. They entered a huge hall with two pillars of fire. Misty: When did they cross over with Zelda? It's like so many dungeons that we've seen in that flippin' game! >A face appeared in >the center of the flames. Michelle: Do not adjust your computer screen. Ash: (TV announcer) And we're here at the scene, where the beloved, yet ill- named Wicked Witch of the West has just been struck down by six un-named assailants. >"Who dares to disturb me?!" the face shouted. "The great wizard of Zozo!" >Marle stepped forward. Michelle: How can one disturb himself? Misty: Multiple personalities... >"We do sir, we have defeated the wicked witch and brought the necklace you >wanted," Marle told the wizard. She laid the necklace down on the floor. > >"Hmmm... Very impressive," the face bellowed. Ayla tapped her foot. Misty: (Wizard) No, I don't like it! It doesn't match my purse at all! >"Well! When we go home!!?" Ayla shouted at the face. > >"I'm sorry..." the face called, "But that isn't possible..." > >"What? Not possible! Why the $#^% would you want to see us if you can't send >Marle home?!" Ash: (Wizard) I just wanted to make fun of you! >Vincent shouted. Interceptor began to slowly walk away from >the group towards a curtain he saw moving. He rushed over and began sniffing >the curtain. Interceptor began to growl and bark. Michelle: (Marle) What do you want, boy? Misty: (Interceptor) It's BACON!!! >"No! Don't pat any attention to that person in the curtain!" the wizard >shouted. Marle pulled back the curtain. Misty: Nude Arnold Schwarzenegger, NO!!! All: (cringe in pain) >"Lucca!!" Marle and Ayla said in unison. Robo was also stunned. > >"Umm... hello," Lucca said shyly. > Ash: HELL, YEAH! Pay up, everybody! > >"What's the meaning of this?" Vincent shouted and pointed his gun at her. Ash: (Lucca) The meaning is, you're going to shoot me, obviously! >Lucca raised her own gun. > >"Enough with the gun Vincent," Tifa said as she put his gun down. Lucca >sighed. Ash: (Lucca) Damn, I had the chance. I could've made the voices shut up, but no! >"I'm sorry guys. I didn't mean to deceive you but... I didn't want to show my >face without finding out a way to get home!" > >"Lucca... You shouldn't put such a burden on yourself!" Marle told her friend. Misty: (Marle) You should let us do that for you! >"Well... I can't get us home but, I can help your friends!" Lucca said >excitedly. She ran over to a box of equipment. She pulled something out for >Vincent. Michelle: (Vincent) A playboy? Oh, great, I've sinned *again*... Maybe I'll blow my brains out... >"Here you go," Lucca said as she handed a book to Vincent. > >"Chicken Soup for the Sinned Soul... Hmm," Vincent opened the book. Ash: Someone must've liked our idea for different flavors of Chicken Soup! >Lucca >pulled out something and handed it to Red XIII. > >"A picture of my father in battle... where'd you get this?" Red XIII asked. > >"Some old man who says Hohohoho gave it to me," Lucca said. Misty: Isn't Christmas coming a bit early this year? Michelle: And it's gone so quickly... >She pulled >something else out and handed it to Tifa. > >"A script for another fanfic! I'll start on this right away! And I don't get >made fun of in it!" Tifa began looking through the fanfic. Ash: (Tifa) Let's see here, title; "Their First Time..." Sounds like fun! >"Well... That's it. I can't do anything else," Lucca told Ayla and Marle. Robo >walked up to Lucca. > >"Lucca, isn't it possible to open the same gate we used to get here?" Robo >asked. > >"Well... Yes, but we weren't brought here by a gate! Lavos did something which >formed a gate," Lucca said. Michelle: So, he did form a gate, and yet he didn't... I have a headache... >"But, you see Lucca... I have the gate key!" Marle told Lucca. Lucca looked >shocked. Misty: (Church-lady) How conveeeeeeeeeeeeeenient! >"You do!" Lucca took the key and looked it over. "But we would still need a >source of Lavos' energy to activate the gate." Terra suddenly appeared. > >"Don't worry so much Lucca!" Terra told her. "You have energy from Lavos in >the Dreamstone Marle is wearing." Marle looked around herself and then saw >the shoes. Lucca examined them. > >"They are Dreamstone and they do have Lavos' energy!" Lucca smiled. Ash: This announcement has been brought to you by the Department of Plot Contrivances! Be sure to always make stuff up whenever you can! >"I'll >get started on a transferal of the energy right away." Michelle: (Lucca) Now, let me see here, what does this little switch thingy do? (BOOM!!!) > > > Misty: That should be the last of them. The fic's winding down... >After a long grueling effort done by Robo and Lucca, they managed to create >a way to transfer the energy from the shoes to the gate key and therefore >open the gate. Misty: Of course, Geode had to stop making the fic becuse he got slapped with many lawsuits from multiple different big corporations, including Wizards of the West Coast for Magic the Gathering, Squaresoft for both Chrono Trigger and all of the Final Fantasy games. >"Now Marle... All you have to do is tap the shoes three times! That will >release the energy necessary to open the gates." Marle nodded. She turned to >her friends. They were all standing in the center of Emerald Weapon City. > >"Good bye Vincent... I'm glad you've learned not to blame yourself," Marle >told Vincent. Michelle: (Vincnet) Yeah, now I blame society and I plan to go postal in the midle of Final-Fantasy-ville next Tuesday! >"Thank you Marle, Lucca and Ayla. I am definitely changed," Vincent told the >team. > >"As am I," Red XIII nodded admiring his father's picture. Marle went over to >Tifa. Ash: (Marle) Well, you didn't really do much to help us, did you, Miss Load? >"Good luck in your next fanfic Tifa!" Marle told her. > >"Thanks... Sorry about back in the Shin-ra building..." Tifa apologized. Ash: Meanwhile, Cloud is wandering around in circles in the Shin-ra building, trying to figure out where in the hell Tifa was... >"Don't worry about it," Marle replied. Marle walked over to Lucca. > >"Let's go," Marle said. She tapped her shoes once, twice, thrice... Lucca >raised the gate key. A huge blue portal opened in front of them. Michelle: Man, father Time's been using a bit too much 2,000 Flushes in the space-time continuum! >"We must hurry before it closes!" Lucca shouted. Robo nodded and quickly >entered with Interceptor. Ayla and Marle were about to step forward when >Ayla saw the chocobo of different colors. It was green now. Misty: For the last time, a "Different color" would be like orange striped blue! >"Oh boy! Now me eat!!!" Ayla leapt toward the chocobo. > >"Wark?!" the chocobo yelped as it ran from Ayla. Ash: (Choccobo) I really don't get paid enough for this. Sure, the greens are good and all, but it's just not worth it! >"Ayla we have to go!" Marle screamed. > >"Marle hurry!!" Lucca screamed as she entered the portal. Misty: Oh, no! Lucca's started talking like Ayla! She's de-evolving! >Marle grabbed Ayla >by the back and she pulled her toward the portal. The portal began to close. > >"No... Don't close yet..." Marle screamed. The blue portal was nearly closed. >Marle leapt for it. That's the last image she saw in Zozo. Michelle: She woke up the next morning in a sleazy Las Vegas casino with a major hangover, a wedding ring, and a couple of dollars in her pocket... > > > Ash: There! That's the last one! >Marle jumped from her bed. Crono, Lucca, Robo, Ayla, and Interceptor were >around the bed. > >"What happened?" Marle asked. She was very tired. Michelle: (Crono) Chloroform and vodka. You'll be released when we have the ransom of fifteen thousand gold pieces. >"You got a bump on the head from the storm," Crono said. > >"But... Lucca you were there in Zozo, and so were you Ayla and you Robo!" >Marle said. Misty: (Marle) And there was a large cantaloupe that had multiple bad spots and worms and things crawling through it! >"Just rest Marle... You're very tired..." Lucca told her. The team filed from >the room. Mog watched from a window of Guardia Castle. Ash: Oh, God! The story's not over! >"Let's go boys! Mission accomplished!" Mog said. He put on black sunglasses. >Three moogles nodded and put on their own sunglasses. Mog and the three >moogles took off. Jet engines rear up in the background. The moogles fly >into the sunset. Michelle: With a hearty "Hi-ho silver," and a cloud of dust! > > > Misty: We can leave! Michelle: Nope, we've got some author's notes. >Greetings! I hope you enjoyed my newest fanfic! This one has been kept >secret for a while because I thought it would be a good surprise. For >everyone who heard about it early, this fanfic was codenamed, "????." If you >have any questions, comments, or ideas, please e-mail me at >Geode013@aol.com. Misty: Mailbombs ready, ma'am. Michelle: No, let's not bomb them... yet. >If you enjoyed my fanfic, come read my other stories at >www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/Ring/1485/. You can find my stories under >fanfiction and satirical. Misty: Oh, come on. Not just one little virus? Michelle: We are people of tolerance, Misty... Misty: But there's only so much that a people can tolerate! > > > >At this moment, I have three fanfics in the works... > > > >When Abilities Collide... - A new satirical work! Ash: Based upon the hit Fox series of half-hour-long crap home videos! >Square Takes Over the Air Waves - A joint author work > >The Quest for the White Materia - This is going to be different from normal >fanfiction... Michelle: Yeah, it'll be something like Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy. >Wait and see! > > > >Well, thanks for taking the time to read my fanfic! All: Bite me! > > >Christopher La Bianca AKA Geode Michelle: Let's go see if there's anything left of Brock... (all stand up to exit) Reverse door sequence Outside, everyone has changed into dark black clothes. Michelle is wearing a priestess's robes. Ash has on a Megadeth T-shirt. Misty is twisting his fingers back to get him to change the shirt. "Brock was a nice, gentle man. No one ever loved anyone like they loved Brock," Michelle said. "We will all remember him fondly, especially myself, who was the target of his advances." At this point, Michelle broke out into a fit of sobs. Misty helped her off the stage. She then took her own turn at the eulogy. "I'll miss his pokemon," Misty began. "More specifically, I'll miss my pokemon that he had in his possession. I want them back! I never had any others like them!" Misty begins to get hysterical. "Couldn't you have at least taken the damned Psyduck?! I hope that you're in hell!" Michelle pulls Misty off of the stage to give her a little sedative. Ash takes his try. "Well, I won't remember much about Brock," he begins. "He was just kinda' here..." He walks off and makes room for Michelle. "Sadly, though, his life, as others, ended tragically. He will be remembered by us all as the cheerful, contained, yet always kinky, Brock-" "Yes, yes, yes, it's all true!" Michelle gets interrupted as Brock walks onto the stage, bawling his eyes out. "I love you all, too!" "Damn it, you're supposed to be dead!" Michelle exclaims. "Let me explain it to you real quick," Brock says, slightly calmed down. "At least, as well as I understand it. The core of the ship was about to blow up, when I found the problem. The tear in the Fourth Wall was actually easy to repair when I found it. I just shoved a couple of Hamdingers in the crack, and everything was all right." "Well, we finally found a use for those things," Michelle says idly. The red light begins to flash. Michelle presses the button. "What do you think, high and mighty buttholes?" Deep 151 "Well, nice to see you people back to normal," Jesse says. "Check that. As normal as you can be up there. If you'll excuse me for not talking long, Meowth and I are in the middle of torturing James." In the background, James can be heard screaming. "Save me an arm, Meowth!" *Blip!* *Fwoosh!* Usual post MSTing notes here. I don't own anything in here except for Michelle. I didn't write this fic. I'll ascribe that "honor" to Geode. Thanks to Geode for writing this fic. Man, this was long. Thank goodness that it's over. Well, until next time! MST3K created by: Joel Hodgson MST3K produced by: Best Brains, Inc. Original fic by: Geode MSTing by: M. H. Torringjan Keep circulating the Fanfics! >"Lucca, isn't it possible to open the same gate we used to get here?" Robo >asked. > >"Well... Yes, but we weren't brought here by a gate! Lavos did something which >formed a gate," Lucca said.
Text file Source (historic): geocities.com/tokyo/shrine/2955/Various
geocities.com/tokyo/shrine/2955geocities.com/tokyo/shrine
geocities.com/tokyo
(to report bad content: archivehelp @ gmail)
|
|
|
|
|