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Samurai Pizza Cats: The Hentai Tales

A Samurai Pizza Cats Lemon MSTing

Original fic by: Demonixk Kata
MSTing by: M.H. Torringjan

	Well, everyone, I'm finally back at it!  I figured that I should get back 
into the swing of lemon MSTings.  I never thought that I would see anything like 
this, so when I saw it, I thought, "Hot puppies, grub!"  I've always been good 
at SPC MSTings.  I should be able to do these more often since I'm finally at 
college with my brand spankin' new laptop!  Now, on to the legal stuff.  I don't 
own this fic.  Demonixk Kata does.  He's welcome to it!  This isn't meant as an 
offense to the author in any way, shape or form.  I don't own any of the 
following series respectively: MST3K, Pokemon, Samurai Pizza Cats, Who Wants to 
be a Millionaire.  This is not for selflessness.  Now, if there is nothing 
else...

In the not-too distant future,
Next Satuday morning A.D.
There were some bitchin' trainers,
Pokemon trainers to you and me.
They wandered 'round the world to become the best,
Trying to beat out all the rest,
They did well for a while,
But then they lost one little battle and were shot into space
(Get us doooown!)
We'll send him crapy fanfics,
The worst we can find(la,la,la)
He'll have to sit and watch them all
And we'll monitor their minds.
Now keep in mind Ash can't control when the fanfics begin and end
Because they junked those special parts to support him and his friends

(trainer roll call!)

Cambot!
(We're on!)

Misty!
(Splish, splash!)

Michelle!
(I'm not a trainer)

Broooooock!
(Hentai baka!)

If you're wondering how they eat and breathe and other science facts,
Just repeat to yourself, "It's just a MSTing, I should really just relax!"
For Mystery Pokemon Theatre 3000!
(TWAAAANG!)

Reverse door sequence

	As the signal opens, Michelle is holding a brown clipboard, pencil in 
hand.  She seems to be studying a piece of paper.  Ash rushes past with a cage 
full of animals.
	"Ash, put those baby balrogs in the back corner of the docking bay," she 
tells him on his way out.  "Hello, everyone!  We're just doing some last minute 
cleaning.  You see, the health inspector will be coming at any time, and we've 
got to be ready for her.  We haven't even had any time to do an invention for 
this week.  I hope that the Mads won't be to well... mad about it."
	"Where should we hide the nuclear waste?" Brock asks from off-screen.
	"Please, Brock," Michelle says, exasperated.  "Don't call it 'hiding.'  I 
consider that such a nasty term.  Put it on top of Ash's bunk for now.  We'll 
let him deal with his own mess."
	"Wouldn't it be better to hide it underneath the entryway rug?" Brock 
asks.
	"No, that's too obvious," Michelle replies.  "That's the first place that 
she'd check."
	"What about these Hamdingers?" Misty asks.
	"We'll offer her some.  These people always like gifts," Michelle replies. 
 The yellow commercial light begins flashing.  "We'll be right back."

	As we return, Michelle is treating Ash, who has many more arms than he had 
before the break.
	"You didn't mention to me that you put the radioactive stuff in my room!" 
Ash complains as one of the arms falls off.
	"Well, we thought that it would be fairly noticeable!" Michelle countered.  
"We can just hope that the arms will be gone by the time that the inspector gets 
here."  The red light begins flashing.

Deep 151

	Jesse sits in a hammock being fanned by a large, muscular, shirtless man.  
"I don't know why you guys are so worried!" she exclaims.  "It's not like this 
person would have the gall to close us down!"

	"Why not?" Michelle asks, ignoring Brock as he drives a wheelbarrow 
containing the Hubble telescope and some of those darned missing pieces from Mir 
to the trash (exhaust) port.

	"Because we're Team Rocket!" Jesse replies.

	"I doubt that that'll stop her," Michelle says half to herself.

	"Look, just get on with your invention," Jesse says.

	"Well, we've been working so hard that we completely forgot about it," 
Michelle says despondently.
	"Wait!" Brock exclaims.  "I've got one!"  Michelle acquiesces nervously, 
remembering his last attempt at an invention.  They had banned the use of the 
word "Bonanza" ever since.  "How often has this happened to you? You're sitting 
at home, and you want some pizza.  You order it from the parlor, and it takes 
fifteen hours for them to realize that they can't find your address!  Well, my 
invention can easily solve that problem!"
	"Wow!  Is it a homing device that tunes into the frequency of delivery 
boys' minds to help them find their way to your home?" Michelle asks.  Brock 
shakes his head again.
	"Is it a telephone that you can use to guide the delivery car to your 
home?" Michelle asks.  Brock shakes his head.
	"Is it a teleportation device that teleports pizzas from the parlor to 
your home?" Michelle asks.  Brock declines yet again.
	"Well, what is it?" Michele asks.
	"It's what I like to call 'Instant Delivery Boy'!"  Brock says.
	"REAL original name," Michelle sighs.
	"All you have to do is take out one of these pills from the easy-to-read 
label, add water, and a delivery boy appears before your very eyes!  Five hours 
later, they disappear, leaving only the fresh scent of pine.  Like Can-o-Man!"  
Brock demonstrates, and a Torgo's Pizza delivery boy (Torgo) appears in front of 
them. Pizza in hand.  "Available in Domino's, Li'l Caesar's and Torgo's Pizza 
flavors."

	"A ground-breaking invention," Jesse compliments.  "I'm sure that couch 
potatoes across the nation will get up off their buns for five minutes to thank 
you for it."

	"I'm also working on the aerosol can design introduced in the product Can-
O-Man," Brock explains, taking the pizza from Torgo and handing him a tip.

	Jesse lets out a little tsk and calls James to present their invention.  
He enters with a towel around his waste.
	"You called me out of a perfectly good steam bath!" James scolds.  "You 
could have done it yourself!"

	"This is turning out like some Aesop tale," Ash says, wiping sweat off his 
brow.

	"You all remember the children's linking logs rival from days of yore, 
right?" James says.

	"Ataris?" Ash asks.

	"No, moron!" James exclaims, "I am referring to the barrel of monkeys!  We 
have come up with a more practical off-shoot from that for todays youth.  They 
need something that's more real to them.  Something that's closer to home.  So, 
we've come up with-" he hoists a jar from behind his back "The Barrel of Rabid 
Wombats!"

	"What do they do that makes them so special?" Michelle asks.

	"Well," James says, "They're... more down-to-earth.  Plus, they're very 
life-like!"  He pulls a rabid wombat out of the barrel.  "Each of these has been 
hand-crafted by a large, high-tech machine five-hundred feet below the surface 
of the Earth, made to look like an exact replica of the only rabid wombat that 
we could find in the area, which, unfortunately, was roadkill."  There was a set 
of finely printed, black tire-track-looking marks down the back of the small, 
plastic animal.  "Also, to make it more realistic, we have placed a small tablet 
of alka-seltzer in the mouth of each small animal so that you can just add 
water..."  A few drops of water added to the mouth caused froth to come flowing
from it.  "See?  Rabid Wombats can be fun!"
	"Just shut up and go back to your steam bath," Jesse says, kicking him.  
"Your feature this time is a sticky little piece called, appropriately enough, 
Samurai Pizza Cats: the Hentai Tales.  Enjoy it!  We sure didn't..."

SoL (Mark 3)

	"It's been a while since we've had a lemon," Michelle states.  "I was 
getting used to it."
	"Woo-hoo!"  Brock exclaims, rushing into the theatre before anyone else.
	"He's not going to have a good time, is he?" Misty asks the Mads.  
Maniacal laughter and movie sign only answer her.

Door 6: A solid wall.  A short, gray guy points at it to make a hole in it.

Door 5: A chest of drawers. You open the top drawer and climb down into it.

Door 4: The barrel of a cannon.  You climb down it.

Door 3: A wall of fire.  You get Squirtle to put it out.

Door 2: A large hand.  All of the fingers fold into a fist to punch through door 
	1.5 (the sheet of paper)

Door 1: A vault door.  You turn the handle and it swings open easily.

	Everyone takes their seats in the normal spots.  Ash still has lots of 
arms.  One of them is accidentally caught under Misty as she sits down.

Misty: (To Ash) Fresh!
Ash: (to Misty) Sorry, I can't control them!
Misty: Did I say that I minded?
Brock: Did I miss something?
Michelle: I think so.  So did I. 

>SPC Hentai Fanfic - Message    WebMail - SPC Hentai Fanfic 
>                      
>
>Date Sent: Sunday, August 20, 2000 12:16 AM 
>From: Demonix Kata   
>To: jmh6187 
>Subject: SPC Hentai Fanfic 
>Urgent New 
>Samurai Pizza Cats
>The Hentai Tales

Michelle:  Hmm, get it?  Hetnai *TALES*?
Brock:  That's a funny!

>By
>Demonixk Kata

Misty: Who's got dibs on keeping track of errors?
Brock: I did it last time.  I don't want to hemorrhage my brain again.

>Legal Shit
>Okay the Pizza Cats belong to the Sotsu Agency (1990),and Saban 
>International (1991)  I lay no claim to them,and I ain't using them to make 
>money okay!

Ash: Of course, you're not making money off of this.  You're a writer!
Misty: (mother) Now, why don't you go out and get a real job!  You've been in 
that basement for thirty years!
Brock: (Demonixk) Mom!  I'm working with the dark powers of the devil!  How many 
times must I tell you not to bother me?!

>This fanfic takes place sometime after the last episode the Big comet Caper. 
>  As will most of my SPC Hentai fanfics unless told other wise, cuz right 
>more all my fanics are one series.

Brock: (grabbing head) Ouch!  That worst syntax for with long time since!
Michelle: I just hope that Oscar hasn't sunk that low...
Ash: I'll look for invented words.

>Note: For any of you SPC fans who like the Speedy&Polly relationship deal 
>will love this one.

Brock:  Hmmm... I wonder who'll be in this one...
Ash: I think that the author screwed up and it's really an all-male transvestite 
orgy involving a space-alien or three, a clone, a scientist, and two tourists.
Michelle: You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Misty: It's been done, anyway...

>Author Notes:
>Okay folks this is my first attempt at hentai fanfics so if I screw up 
>please just let it slip.

Misty: How could you screw up?  You've already written the intro.  It's all 
winging it from there on.

>Okay folks this is a revised and redone fic, meaning I corrected the 
>spelling errors the first version of this fic had.
>Also since I haven't seen any other SPC lemon or 
>hentai fanfics out there or sites dedicated to SPC hentai and fanfic.  I 
>decided to write one being a preverted SPC fan.

Ash: The instant that I turn my back, you'll do something preverted.
Brock: But I must use the phone!
Misty: OPE, POE!
Michelle: Mein Furher!  I can walk!

>I have heard of an SPC/STH 
>Lemon fanfic called "First Night" created by some guy named Kit but I never 
>got to see it cuz the site he had is gone now dammit!

Michelle: (Demonixk) He never called me back after our first date!  That scum!

>So if there are any 
>SPC henati or ecchi sites out there with let me know ya exist so I can 
>visit!!!

Misty: And let us know , too!
Michelle: Misty!  You would subject yourself to that torture?
Misty: So that we can E-mail bomb it!

>Also if by some chance someone who's seen that SPC'STH Lemon 
>fanfic "First Night"  reads this could possibly give me an address to find 
>it, or if the writer of "First Night" Reads this could ya send me a copy of 
>the story at my address at the bottom.

Brock: I don't think that he really wants to see that fic...
Michelle: I don't know.  Monty Python and the Holy Grail was still better...
Misty: Never did like Lancelot.

>Also I encourge other ecchi SPC fans 
>to write more of this SPC lemon fics cuz we need more.  Also if anyone knows 
>where I can find the adult/hentai SPC Dojinshi please let me know and I'll 
>give ya a small reward.

Ash: For a fanfic writer, hhe doesn't know much, does he

>[these] indicate tone of voice
>{these} indicate footnotes from mw
>*these* indicate sound effects, or noise
>~these~ indicate thoughts

Misty: Not many of those for Francine.
Brock: Nor for the author.
Michelle: Brock!  No author flames!  He seems to be a nice guy...

>(these) indicate character actions or facial expressions

Michelle: And it only took 2000 yen...
Ash: And &these& indicate the readers throwing up.

>                     SPC HENTAI TALES STORY #1
>                   At long Last!  Our First Time.

Brock: Wow, OUR first times?  I thought that this was about Polly and Speedy!  
This'll be even better!
Michelle: Well, I can't participate.  Not my first time.
Ash: Really?
Michelle: Well, no, but I wanna get out of here!!!

>(It's night time in little Tokyo.  The stars have come out,the moon is 
>full,and for once the city is enjoying some peace.  We now go to the 
>apartment of Polly Esther Smaurai pizza cat.  Who is having a phone chat 
>with Francine.)

Misty: Man, a lemon in dialogue format?  This'll be fun...
Michelle: I think that this was one of the rejected scripts.
Brock: For the Japanese version?
Michelle: No, for the Fox version.

>Polly:(on the phone)...I know Fran it's just that well it's been oevr a week 
>since the Comet came, and when I... (blushes)

Ash: (Polly) ...Ripped his heart out in front of the whole of Little Tokyo.

>Well you know confessed I 
>loved Speedy,and Speedy still hasn't said much about since then.

Michelle: (Polly) I personally have no clue what I was thinking!

>Fran I'm 
>worried because he hasn't said or done anything regarding that subject! 
>[down]  I wonder if he even cares.

Misty: (Fran) Ummm, excuse me, ma'am, but I've started running the clock, and 
you should be reminded that this is a dollar per minute, you sexy bitch, you!

>Francine:(talking through the phone)[comforting] Now Polly I'm sure he has a 
>good reason for it.  Speedy can be a slacker at times,but he's a good cat, 
>and I can tell he loves you as much as you love him!  Maybe even 
>more.(giggles) He's probaby still shocked because he didn't know you cared 
>about him so much.

Brock: Well, hell!  I doubt that the writers saw it coming until fifteen minutes 
after it happened!

>Polly:(sighs) Thanks Francine I needed that.

Michelle: ... about as much as a root canal!

>Francine: Don't mention it, that's what friends are for.  Well I gotta go 
>see ya later.  (hangs up)

Brock: I've got Guido over here and we're doing a fic with this guy named 
"Oscar".  I've been warned against him, but I don't know why!  I mean, I'm 
really kind of attracted to him!

>Just as Polly puts down the phone the door bell rings.

Misty: Kitty Avon calling!
Ash: You know, I've heard that every time a doorbell rings, an unborn fish gets 
its gills!
Michelle: Really?
Ash: No, I was just blowing space.
Brock: You're not the only one who'll be blowing something soon!
Michelle: (slaps Brock)

>Polly:*walking towards door* I'm coming!!!

Brock: (Speedy) Wow, already?!  There's no reason for me to be here any more!

>(When Polly opens the door standing in front of it is Speedy Cerviche 
>himself.)

Misty: He held a blood-stained ginzu-sword and stared at her with a vacant look 
in his face...
Ash: (Polly) Not again!
Michelle: (Speedy) I had a niiiice little talk with our little friend, Guido.

>Speedy: Hiya Pol.

Brock: I heard that if you read his lines sideways, backwards, and flipped 
inside-out it contains satanic messages...
Misty: Let's see...  "Hip olay?"

>Polly:[surprised to see him] Oh hi Speedy how have you...(Polly is cut off 
>as Speedy produces a bouquet of flowers and hands them to her)

Misty: (Polly) Black roses?  Speedy?
Brock: (Speedy) Darned color-blindness!
Misty: (Polly) You've been seeing that Kodachi again, haven't you?!

>Speedy:[a little shy,and embarrased] I got this for you!

Ash: (Polly) Look, if you wanted to get laid, you just had to ask!  Don't try 
this old, clich� routine!

>Polly;(blushes,and accepts the flowers) Why thank you Speedy, that's very 
>sweet of you! (gives him a peck on the cheek)

Michelle: (Polly) Well, since you're here already, I may as well break up with 
you.
Ash: But he hasn't taken her out to dinner yet!

>(Speedy face blushes a beet red,and steam shoots out of his shirt collar, 
>causing Polly to giggle)

Brock: Well, the tea's ready!  Who wants some?

>Polly:(giggling)[teasingly] What's the mater Speedy getting kissed by a girl 
>make ya melt into butter?

Misty: Wow, her kiss can make him transmogrify?

>Speedy:(rubs his cheek where he was kissed) No....just only when a beautiful 
>angel like you does that I melt into you hands.

Michelle: Okay, so it's not butter, it's her hands.

>(Hearing this causing Polly to blush)

Brock: Of course, telling this takes some work since she's already red and has 
fur.

>{Oh I forgot to mention Polly is wearing a pair of cut-off jeans,and a red 
>tucked in tank-top,while Speedy sports long blue jeans,and a white tucked in 
>T-shirt.  Also both aren't wearing helmets.}

Ash: So, nude heads are her turn-ons?
Brock: I think that nude anythings are her turn-ons.
Misty: What about nude fingers?
Brock: Well, those are actually her get-offs.
Misty: Nude toes?
Brock: Nope.  That would make for an interesting lemon, though...
Michelle:  Don't give him any ideas.

>Speedy:(grins) I see I'm not the only one how's blsuhing like crazy tonight.

Michelle: Are you sure that we don't have a nice little Koopa/Oscar mix here?

>Polly:(just smiles) Do...you wanna come in for awhile?

Misty: I bet that she's got some champagne conveniently placed in there 
somewhere.
Michelle: She'll put on the Barry White and serve some cherries.

>Speedy: Sure I wanted to talk to you anywhay,and it's not soemthing to 
>discuss in the hall.

Ash: Well, this guy has to have read some Koopa.
Michelle: Now, if only we hadn't...
Brock: I think that I hear someone outside.  Let's go see what it is.
(All get up to leave, Ash still losing arms slowly)

Reverse door sequence

	Outside, the Health Inspector is looking around in everything, writing on 
a sheet of paper.  Michelle approaches her.
	"Just stay out of my way!  I am a professional!" the Health Inspector 
cries out.  "My name is Jill Stephenss, and I'll be your health inspector for 
the day.  I'm almost finished, so I'll be with you in a minute."  Her voice is 
slightly muffled by the full-body plastic suit that she wears over her body.
	Michelle and the others sit down at the table behind Jill.  She shakes her 
head and moves to sit down beside them.  "Let me ask you people a few 
questions," she begins.  "Where is your bleach stored?"
	"We usually store it in the bathroom, near the bathtub," Michelle says.
	"How often do you bathe in it?" Jill asks.
	"Never," Michelle admits.
	"Good," Jill says.  "That was just a trick question.  Granted, Bleach IS a 
miracle worker, but it can't clean the filth off of the human body.  Everything 
is flawed somehow, is what I always say."  Misty is beginning to get a bit 
nervous.  "Now, where do you store the plastic gloves around here?"
	"We don't have any," Brock responds.
	"No gloves?!" Jill asks incredulously.  "Stature 542176-59A of the 
Interspacial Cleanliness Code states that there must be gloves at any and all 
institutions!  Do you at least get new plates for getting seconds?"
	"No," Ash says.  "What's the reason for that regulation, anyway?"
	"Theoretically, if multiple types of food are combined, the molecules and
 proteins in the food that may be left over could mix, forming a mutated form of 
life that could conquer humanity!"  Jill notices Ash's many arms.  "What's with 
him?" she asks, pointing at Ash.
	"Ummm...  He's an Albanian?" Michelle responds nervously.
	"And she's able to say that with a straight face," Brock says quietly to 
Misty.
	"How long has it been since you've washed your hands?" Jill asks Michelle.
	"I don't know, a half-hour or an hour," Michelle answers.
	"WHAAAAAT?!?!" Jill gapes at her.  "You've been handling unprocessed film 
material without hands that have been cleaned within the past five minutes?!"
	"Well, what are you going to do about that?" Brock asks.
	Jill hauls out a large, strange-looking weapon and points it at the four.  
"I'm going to CLEAN YOU!!!"   She pulls the trigger and a spray of mechanic 
hands fly towards Michelle, Ash, Brock, and Misty.
	"Michelle, help!" Ash screams in fear.  "I'm too young to be cleaned!"
	"Wait!" Michelle exclaims to Jill as the hands grab ahold of them.  "The 
people in charge of what we have up here are even dirtier than we are!  Go clean 
them!"  As soon as the final word has left her lips, everything has disappeared, 
leaving mild-mannered Jill in her plastic suit.
	"Thank you for your cooperation," Jill says cheerfully as she heads toward 
the door.  She throws a sheet of paper to Michelle.  "By the way, your score was 
an 89.5%."  Just then, the commercial sign light flashes.
	"We'll be right back..." Michelle sighs as she pushes the button.

When we return, everyone is taking their seats in the theatre.

Brock: Should we have told the Mads that she was coming?
Michelle: Why?
Ash: (Still losing arms)"Albanian?"

>Polly:(moves aside as to let Speedy in,and makes gesture of come in with her 
>hands)  Make yourself at home.

Brock: (Speedy) *BEEEEEEELCH*!  Where's my dinner?!

>(Speedy walks in, and takes his shoes off,and leaves them by the door as 
>Polly closes it.)

Misty: (holding nose) Hey, Ceviche, think you could tone down the dogs a bit?!

>Speedy: Thank you! (takes a look at her apartment) Whoa nice digs!
>You decorate the place yer self Polly?

Brock: (Speedy) It's amazingly pink for someone of your temper, I mean, stature!
Michelle: You see, she was one of those "Abusive Barbie" children.  You know, 
ripped the Barbie's head off and put its clothes on another doll.

>Polly: Yes I did the whole decor myself.
>
>Speedy: It looks great you did a wonderful job.

Misty: (Speedy) Still, black leather?  Is there something that you haven't told 
me yet?
Ash: (Polly) I met someone named Bertha over the weekend.  We're riding off 
together tomorrow night.

>Polly;(blushes at his comment) Thank you. (heads for the kitchen)  While I 
>put this flowers in some water would you like some tea?

Brock: So that's what they call it these days...
Michelle: "Arsenic and Lace; The Early Years"...

>Speedy: Yes please if you don't mind.

Misty: (Polly) Mr. Bun-bun , Turtle-man and Hilarious Halibut should be arriving 
for the party soon!
Ash: But keep Hobbes away from it!

>(Polly walks into the kitchen, pulls out a vase, fills it with water,and 
>puts the flowers in it.  Then she gets out two cups,and pours Speedy,and 
>herself some tea.  She then takes both cups,and joins Speedy on the sofa.)

Misty: She's serving it in one of her bras?
Michelle: (Polly) I thought that he would enjoy that...

>Polly:(handing Speedy his cup) here you go.
>
>Speedy:(takes it) Thank you.....(grins) Polly-Chan!

Ash: (Polly) That's MISS Polly-chan, to you!

>Polly:(taken aback by this) Did you call me Polly-Chan?
>
>Speedy:(puts down his tea after a long sip) Yes I did Polly.  I believe it 
>suits you.

Brock: (Speedy) It fits you as well as I will!
Michelle: (slaps Brock)

>Polly:(hugs him) Thank you!  Thats the nicest thing anyone's ever said to 
>me!  Also......no one's  ever called me Polly-Chan.

Misty: (Polly) I didn't like it.  Never do it again.

>Speedy: I'm surprised I ddin't earlier.  You're so beautiful,smart,and very 
>strong to boot, it very much suits you!

Ash: (Polly) There's something that I've been meaning to ask you for a while 
now.  Have you ever heard of "scientology?"
Misty: Ouch...

>(Polly just hugs him tighter,and gives him another kiss on the cheek)
>
>Polly:[with a purr] Hmm you're sooooo

All: soo-EEEEEEE!
Michelle: It never gets old...

>good to me Speedy Cerviche!
>
>Speedy: I'm glad to be.  You deserve to be treated good.  Also...Polly 
>there's something I need to tell you.
>
>Polly:(lifts her head up) Yes?

Brock: (Speedy) You're standing on my foot...
Misty: Way to kill the mood, Don Juan!

>Speedy: It has to do with what I wanted to talk to you about when the comet 
>came. (takes a deep breath)

Michelle: (Speedy) You get on my nerves and I don't know why I ever agreed to 
work with you in the first place.  Wait, that was the wrong speech!

>Polly esther I *LOVE* you!
>
>(Polly's eyes widen,and tears of joy well up in her eyes,for Speedy has said 
>the three words she's wanted to hear for so long.)

Ash: Then he said the other three words that he knew would crush her soul.
Misty: Which would be?
Ash: "Go to hell."

>Polly:(pulls Speedy closer,and looks him in hte eye* [Serious] Speedy 
>Cerviche...Reapeat what you just sid,and tell me you mean it!

Michelle: Man, the author's already gone to one-hand mode!  He's quick!

>Speeedy:(looks into her blue eyes) Polly-chan...it's true.  I love you with 
>all my heart,and you're the only woman for me!

Brock: (Speedy) Well, besides Oprah, of course.

>Polly:(tears well up)[softens] That's all I wanted to hear...I love you 
>too!!!!

Ash: (Speedy) Am I the only woman for you, too?

>(Both embrace tighly.  Both of their hearts content, knowing they love on 
>another.  Then they break the embrace,and just stare at each other.  Then 
>they twist their heads,and move towards each other til their lips meet.  Ah 
>the first kiss of two lovers, truely a magical moment.

Misty: (Polly) Speedy, I think that we're being watched.
Brock: (Speedy) It must be that damned narrator again!  Why's he always 
bothering us?

>The kiss is slow at 
>first, then it bulids with intensity.

Michelle: Well, everyone, we have the first face-off of tongue-hockey season 
fast approaching now.

>So it turns into one of passion, as 
>they put their tongues into the kiss.  Sending both of their tongues into 
>the others mouth dueling with the others tongue,

Michelle: Thrust!
Ash: Parry!

>saviouring the taste of the 
>others saliva.

Brock: Wow, they're better than Jesus!
Misty: Don't go there!

>Soon the two of then are laying on the couch just kissing 
>the other madly.  Suddenly Polly breaks the kiss,and jsut looks at Speedy 
>with a fire in her eyes,and a miscivious grin)

Ash: (Polly, aside) I've got the purrr-fect trick to play on him while he's 
asleep!

>Speedy:[puzzled] Why did ya stop?  It was getting good.

Misty: (Polly) Because I just realized that my boyfriend, Bruno, will be getting 
here soon!

>Polly:[purring] Well Speedy-kun you'll just have to see. (she then takes his 
>hand) Now close your eyes,and follow me.
>
>(Speedy does so,and Polly leads him into a room.

Brock: ...and right off the balcony!
Michelle: Oh, those lover's jokes!

>Then a second telling him 
>to wait a sec he hears a locking noise.  Speedy opens his eeys and spins 
>around to see Polly with ehr back against the door with a very *NAUGHTY* 
>grin on her face.

Ash: (Austin Powers) Table for two, saucer of milk, *rowr*!
Brock: (Speedy) I shagged her rotten, yeah!

>She then pounces on him sending him landing on her bed.  
>Then it hits Speedy...

Michelle: The frying pan that she keeps hidden under her bed for just such 
occasions.

>he was in her room!  then she starts to kiss him  
>again even more wild then before.  After 1 minute into the kiss Speedy feels 
>soemthing touching,and rubbing his lower region.

Brock: (Speedy) Tentacles?  Polly?
Michelle: Aw, damn!  Lita's Adventure flashbacks...

>{Or the kick zone as 
>Francine calls it}

Misty: So, that's why he has such a high voice for a guy!

>he then looks to see polly's hand *MASSAGING* his 
>groin!!!
>
>Speedy:(blushing)[mystified] Polly?  What are you doing?

Michelle: (Polly) Moving what the author has substituted for a plot right on 
along, what does it look like?!

>{Well shit it's obvious Speedy...  SHE WANTS YOU BAD!!!!!}

Ash and Misty: (Speedy and Polly) We're only doing this since our show got 
cancelled!

>Polly:(sexy smile)[seductive] Oh nothing.  Just getting Ginzu Jr. down there 
>all nice,and *HARD*!

Michelle: You see, she's a blacksmith besides being a pizza deliverer and a 
crime fighter and an ex-rock star.
Ash: Japanese cat chicks have to diversify their interests these days, you see.

>besides.. (give his now raging hard a good stoke, 
>causing Speedy to moan) I figure you'd like it! (give long wet kiss)
>
>Speedy:[in a pleasured tone] MEOW!!!!! (gives Polly a playful nuzzle) I sure 
>do!!!!

Misty: I hope that she's not feeling too accomplished right now.  A couple of 
leaves of catnip do exactly the same thing quicker.

>Polly:(sexy)[seductive] Oh I'm not finsihed yet! (gives him a few more 
>strokes that make him arch back in estasy)  After we play around a bit...I 
>want you to take your Ginzu down there, put him in my pussy who's dying to 
>meet him...AND FUCK ME HARD TIL WE BOTH CAN'T CUM ANYMORE!!!!!

Brock: How many different metaphors did she use in that euphemism?
Misty: I don't know, I think that the whole title of "euphemism" kinda' fizzled 
out there at the end.
Michelle: (Polly) Tactful metaphorical suggestions?  Never heard of 'em!
Ash: "Winter" it ain't...

>(That's all Speedy needed to hear.)
>
>Speedy;(pulls Polly closer)[charming tone] Your wish is my command 
>Polly-chan! (gives her another passionate kiss,and then the fun starts)

Misty: Only fun for them...
Michelle:  For some odd reason, I can't help but think of the notion that Luna 
and Artemis are CATS...

>(As they both kiss their hands explore each others body.  Poll keeps her 
>hand on Speedy's hard cock, giving it encouragement to stay *ROCK* hard.  
>While Speedy's hands have foudn their way up Polly's shirt,and her breasts.)

Michelle: Look, Speedy's found another girl to have sex with!
Brock: Uh-oh!  And in Polly's house, even!
Ash: But will his private parts be visiting the Republic National Convention?

>Speedy:(as his hands go up her shirt to her breasts) ~Hmm.  She's not 
>wearing a bra...hehehehe even better!~ (Speedy then starts kneading her 
>breasts)

Brock: I get the feeling that he'd be a good baker.
Michelle: But would he be able to bake 144 breasts in an hour?
Misty: That is so gross!

>Polly:[enjoying this] Ooooooh!!!! (moans) yes....keep that up please!!!!
>
>(Speedy pulls Polly's shirt off,and tosses it on the floor.  He stares in 
>wonder at her nice sized breasts.  Not to big, nore to small *PURRFECT* 
>size!

Ash: Been there, did that pun...

>He then buries his face in the vally between the two heavenly mounds 
>of flesh.  Then he kisses from the vally, around her left breast til he 
>reaches the nipple.

Michelle: Yeah, but have her breasts been declared a National monument? I'd 
rather see the Grand Canyon anytime!
Misty: I'm sure that he'll be using that euphemism somewhere in here.

>Then he gives it a quick lick.  This off course sent 
>Polly into pleasure.)

Brock: (Kirk) Scotty!  You've... got to get us... back on course!
Michelle: (Scotty) I can't do it captain!  I cannae defy the laws of physics 
even though I've done it so many other times on this ship!

>Polly:(back arches back)[in estasy] AHHHHH!!!!  Yes....do that soem more!!!

Misty: Polly, your maternal instincts are showing! (giggles)

>(Speedy smiles,and takes the whole breast into his mouth.  He begins to 
>lick it,and suck on it like a baby sucking on it's mother for milk.  Polly 
>lets go of his cock,and takes both her hands,and puts then on Speedy's 
>head,pushing him down further onto her breast so he can get more.

Brock: Until she accidentally smothers him or sends him plunging through her rib 
cage.
Michelle: Been feeling a bit dark lately, Brock?

>Speedy 
>continues to suck on her left breast while his free hand kneads the other 
>breast.   he then switches places so he's sucking on the other one,while his 
>hand kneads the other.

Ash: Hey, he's playing Twister with her body!
Misty: Right arm, left nipple!

>Then he takes his free hand away from the breast 
>he's kneading,and goes down to the zipper in Polly's jeans.  He un-zips 
>them,and puts his hand in her pants.  

Misty: Right arm, panties!
Michelle: That's going a bit too far...

>he wiggles it til her reaches his 
>goal...her pussy.

Brock: So, he reached her her?
Ash: Because she's a cat, you know...

>{which is nicely wet}  He then digs a few fingers around 
>the outter lips thus getting a reaction from Polly.)
>
>Polly:[screaming in estasy] AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!  DO THAT 
>SOME MORE....OOOOOOHHHHH GOD THAT FEELS SOOO GOOD!!!!!!

Brock: (eighty-year-old neighbor) *thump, thump, thump*  Keep down that racket 
in there!
Ash: (Polly) SAY MY NAME, BITCH!!!

>Speedy:[teasingly] As you wish love!
>
>(Speedy contineus to finger her outter lips causing Polly to figit in 
>pleasure.)

Michelle: (Speedy) She's twitching...  Does that mean that she's dead?
Misty: (Polly) No, I'm not dead, you moron!
Michelle: (Speedy) Is she speaking to me from beyond the grave?

>Polly:[pleading] Speedy.
>
>Speedy: Yes sweetheart?
>
>Polly:[same] please stop teasing me,and finger fuck me please!!!
>
>Speedy:(devilish grin) What's the magic word?

Ash: (Polly) NOW, BITCH!!!
Michelle: Whoah...

>(Polly respond with an kiss on the lips)
>
>Polly:[innocent] PRETTY PLEASE?!! (does the cute batty eye routine)

Misty: Whoah, has she been possessed?
Brock: She's acting like she did in the etiquette epiode!

>Speedy: [*fell for it hook line and sinker*

Brock: What sort of bait do you use for a Samurai Pizza Cat, anyway?
Michelle: Catnip?
Misty: An extra large tip?
Ash: Turtle soup?

>Alrighty then!
>
>(Speedy then digs a finger into her wet hole,and takes it in,and out as to 
>simulate his member penetrating her)

Ash: Like we don't know what fingering is...
Michelle: At this point, I wish that I didn't...

>Polly:[over the edge in estasy] YEEESS!!!!!

Misty: What edge?  The edge of sanity?
Michelle: The edge of decency.

>Polly:[pure estasy] YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!
>
>(Her orgasim hits hard sending her to a new level of pleasure.

Brock: Captain N gone horribly wrong.
Ash: Oh, come on!  They're just playing *games*...

>Speedy gets 
>hit by a wave of cum,and tries his best to lick it all up.  He then gets up 
>from her crotch,and looks at Polly with wide eyes.  Polly can't help but 
>gigle as she looks at his cum covered face.  She pulls him close,and kisses 
>him again,then she licks her own cum off of his face.)

Michelle: Is he still typing one-handed?  When will he learn?!

>Polly;(licking the cum of Speedy's face) Ummmm!  Yummie stuff, I taste 
>pretty good if I say so myself! (LOL)

All: LIKE CHICKEN!!!

>Speedy:(grins) Best stuff I've ever tasted!!!  i could live off you juices 
>forever!!!!

Brock: (Speedy) Or at least, according to that voyeur/narrator, until the next 
Ice Age.

>Polly:(giggles)[touched] Aww why thank you honey!  And speaking of 
>honey...(she puts her hand on his cock again) I think I need to give your 
>friend,and you a reward for the tongue-lapping lessons you gave me!

Michelle: Is it that hard to lap a tongue?  I mean, they don't really run that 
fast!

>(Polly then helps Speedy toss his shirt off,then she helps him out his 
>jeans,and boxers.  Polly looks with wide eyes at the 8-inch cock that Speedy 
>wields.)
>
>Polly:[suductive] My,my,my he's a *BIG healthy boy now isn't he?

Misty: (Speedy) He does eat his vegetables.

>(Polly then gets on all fours,and starts licking the tip of Speedy's raging 
>hard,

Michelle: (Polly) Just picture a saucer of cream... A saucer of cream...

>then she takes him into her mouth.  Speedy moans with pleasure as Polly 
>gives him a very good blow job.  She sucks his hard memeber as she bobs 
>up,and down to get Speedy off.

Ash: The question still remains.  If your uncle Jack was on a horse and couldn't 
get off, would you help your uncle-
Michelle: That's too much of that as is...

>Speedy uses his hands to encourage her top 
>do more,and she complies.  She licks his cock,carressing it as she sucks on 
>it.  Then she stops much to Speedy's dismay,as he hadn't orgasimed yet.)
>
>Speedy:[whimpering] Why did you....

Michelle: The drugs are wearing off...

>Polly:(cuts him off) Cuz...he's you're not cumming til you get you personal 
>Ginzu sword here!!!! (points to her wet again pussy)
>
>Speedy:[gets the picture] Oh I see!

Brock: Then, misunderstanding, he slices her in half from the inside out.

>(Polly then rest on the bed again,she spreads her legs wide as to amke it 
>easier for Speedy to enter.)

Misty: You see, it's a small apartment, and he's a large cat, so he needs ample 
room.

>Polly: Also you won't have to worry about hurting me.  I lost my hym while 
>kicking some Ninja Crows in a  fight.

Ash: Well, if you lost that, go visit a church!  They've got plenty of them 
there!
Michelle: (singing) A---men.

>Speedy:(as he positions hismelf over her) So that's why you yelled out when 
>no one hit you at that fight.  That explains why you walked funny from that 
>battle too!

Misty: (singing) 'Cause he's the king of wishful thinking.

>Polly: Yeah,but that's old history!  Now...take that huge,gougeous cock of 
>yours,ram it into me,and FUCK ME HARD!!!!!

Michelle: Ayn Rand would like this chick.

>(Speedy didn't need to be told twice.  With quick speed he rammed his meat 
>into her wet pussy.  Sending them both into estasy. {Lucky Speedy held on or 
>he'd have unloaded right there!)

Brock: Whoah!  Nobody said ANYTHING about a food fetish!
Ash: I've seen whipped cream and cherries before, but meat?
Michelle: (Polly) Speedy!  That was dinner tonight!
Ash: Not any more...

>Polly:[in pure estasy] UUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!!!! OOOOHHHHHHH!! YES!!!!
>
>Speedy:[same] OOOOOOOOH MAN!!!!!!  SO..TIGHT..YET SO...GOOD!!!!!!

Misty: Oh, no!  The script writing has been taken over by Shatner!

>(Both stay still, enjoying their moment of joining.  Then Speedy pulls 
>out,and pushes back in all the way getting a yelp from Polly.  Speedy 
>contineus to pump his cock in,and out of Polly's tight wet pussy.  Both of 
>them enjoying the feelignt hey were getting from there love-making.  Then 
>the two of them feel the feeling inicating they were near orgasim.)

Brock: This fic makes a good argument for the subject of spaying and neutering.

>Speedy:[grunting] Polly...I'm...gonna blow at any...minute!!!

Michelle: Spo---ck!

>Polly:[in pure pleasure] Me...too!!!!  Stay inside of me!!!!  I want you too 
>cum inside me,and soak my insides with your cum!!!!!

Brock: Speedy?  You're soaking in him!
Michelle: (slaps Brock)

>(Speedy nods,then they both climax into orgasim.)
>
>Speedy:(as he blwos his load inside of her)[in ultimate pleasure] 
>UUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
>
>Polly:(as she climaxing soaking Speedy's cock in cum)[same] OOOOH 
>YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!

Ash: (landlord) *bang, bang, bang*  We've been getting complaints from all over 
the building!  People are trying to sleep around here!

>(As Polly cums a second time that night,Speedy blows his load for the first 
>time that night sending his seed into Polly's body.  In fact this is Speedy 
>first orgasim in his whole life,as Polly is experiencing her second. {The 
>first was when she was getting licked]

Michelle: We wish that we didn't remember...

>Speedy falls on top of Polly as his cock continues to unload it's load of 
>semen)
>
>Polly:(wraps arms around Speedy)[exhausted] that...was wonderful!!!!

Brock: And then the police burst in, complaining about the noise ordinance.

>Speedy:(same)[same] Yeah!!!

Ash: So, he wrapped his arms around himself?
Misty: REAL romantic, Cassanova.

>Polly: You're still cumming...I can feel it.
>
>Speedy:(chuckles) That load's been pent up for years waiting for you,and 
>*ONLY* you!  I didn't even jack off to make sure, my first,and best load was 
>for you!!!!

Misty: You know, those that say first time's a charm?  They're wrong.
Ash: How would YOU know?

>Polly:[touched] Awwww that's so sweet!!!!  If you hadn't off licked me off I 
>would've saved my first orgasim for now...but I guess the secodn's just as 
>good. (feels something) You're still unloading,my god you really had a lot 
>of pent up cum for me.

Michelle: Now, that's just unhuman.

>Speedy: yep, been saving it for you!!!
>
>Polly: I'm glad you did.  Made what we did more enjoyable.  (Yawns,and pulls 
>Speedy closer) Let's get some sleep.  We still have work tomorrow.  Oh and 
>Speedy?

Brock: (Polly) Never touch me again.

>Speedy: yes honey?
>
>Polly: Please sleep inside of me it feels sooooo 

All: soooo-EEEEEEEE!

>nice,and it'll help me 
>sleep better with you with me.

Misty: And then Polly wakes up from the Nightmare, only to realize that it 
really was Robert Redford with which she slept.

>Speedy:(turns so Polly is on top of him,and still inside of her)  consider it 
>done!

Michelle: He's a genie in a bottle, you've gotta rub him the right way!
Brock: Of course, it's a bad idea to rub cats the wrong way.

>(Then they both fall into a wonderful sleep in each others arms)
>
>                       To be contiued.

Ash: Oh, shit.

>To be continued...YES I'm writing more to this series.  Anyway how did I do? 
>Let me know, do ya hate, it,love it, wanna burn it.

All: (singing) We don't need no water, let the mother&$#*@% burn!

>Tell me at........
>
>demonixk@hotmail.com

Michelle: In other words, fanboy@bigcompany.com

>Also I encourage other SPC hentai fans like myself or other writers to write 
>SPC/KNT hentai fanifcs.

Michelle: IOW, he's willing to start a club named cannon-fodder anonymous.

>Also if you'd like to borrow my material let me 
>know,and I might let ya.\\
>
>Demonixk Kata:  Author

Michelle: You know, he really didn't change that much between versions...
Misty: Can we leave now?  I bet that the carnage is over with.
(All get up to leave)

Reverse door sequence

	Outside, there is a large plaque with the score that was given by Jill.  
Unfortunately, it also lists the mistakes that were made.  The list reaches from 
one side of the room to the other.  Sadly, most of the items contain the word 
bleach somewhere.  The rest of them contain four-letter words.  The floor is 
full of Pizza Delivery men.
	"Awww, man!" Brock exclaims.  "Some water must have leaked into the bottle 
while we were in the theatre!  That'll teach me to buy used chld-proof lock 
lids."
	"I would put a nail in the wall to hang it up," says Michelle, referring 
to the plaque, "But there's nowhere that's tall enough to put it."
	"Nonsense," Brock counters.  "I bet that we could put it in the auditorium 
fairly easily!"
	"Great!  You get on it," Michelle exclaims.  "Ash, you figure out what to 
do with these pizza delivery men.  Misty, you... do something productive.  I'll 
stand here and look pretty."  The red Mads light flashes urgently.

Deep 151

	Jesse sits in her hammock, being fanned by her manservant.

	"What happened to Jill?" Michelle asks.

	"Well, we just gave her a few hamdingers and she left us alone," Jesse
 responds.  "Well, that and a few live rabid wombats.  We found a few that we 
had left over from a mad science club meeting a while back.  Okay, those and a 
few small thermonuclear devices and every security officer that we could muster 
from the tri-state area.  The point is, she's gone!"  Jesse leisurely gets up 
and pushes the button.

*Blip*
*Fwoosh*

	So ends my newest MSTing, my first in a long while.  I'm going to write a 
fic next, probably.  I've already staked out a few more fics to move on to.  
Also, I'm working on revamping my website, at least the stuff posted on it.  
Everything will soon be in text format!  I'm most of the way there, anyway!  (If 
yahoo can fix whatever's wrong with my page...)  I may post some of my new 
things on Shinji's Vault.  Maybe I'll try some of my older things.  Okay, so I 
did a bit of cutting and pasting of author's notes.  It makes little difference.
	Thanks again to Demonix Kata for being such a sport!  Hope no egos were 
bruised in the making of this MSTing.  Oh, well.  Until next time!

Original fic by:
Demonixk Kata

MSTing by:
M.H. Torringjan

MST3K creator:
Joel Hodgeson

MST3K owned by:
Best Brains, Inc.

Keep circulating the fanfics!

>Polly: Yeah,but that's old history!  Now...take that huge,gougeous cock of 
>yours,ram it into me,and FUCK ME HARD!!!!!