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Tenchi Muyo Meets Dragonball Z/GT
Part 2
A crossover fic MSTing by:
M.H. Torringjan (jmh6187@uncwil.edu)
Craig "Black Seventeen" Norris (lardalmighty@netscape.net)

M.H.'s Intro
	Okay, part two, here goes.  We're still working on this one, slowly thanks 
to the break, but surely.  As is always the case, this work of parody is not 
meant in any way to insult the writer of the story, or in any way infringe upon 
his rights.  This is just in good, clean, wholesome, American fun.  We don't own 
Tenchi Muyo.  I guess Naoko Hasegawa does.  We don't own Dragonball Z or GT.  
Akira Toriyama does.  We do not own this fic.  Kiyone Mabiki does.  We do not 
own Pokemon.  Games Freaks and Nintendo do.  We don't own MST3K.  Best Brains 
does.  I don't own Masato Kiriyama.  Craig does.  I do, however, own Michelle.  
Any other random products that are mentioned during the course of this work of 
fiction are either made up or owned by someone who isn't either of us.  Well, I 
think that'll handle it for this intro, so we'll get on with it!

In part one: Stuff happened.  Now, back to the action, already in progress...

	When we return to the Satellite, Michelle and Masato are standing on the 
bridge, relaxing between parts of the fic.  Masato has a 
	"So, you guys sit up here and do this all the time?" Masato asks for lack 
of anything better to say.
	"Yup," Michelle replies.  "Doesn't it just make you pity us enough to date 
me?"
	"Well, not that much, really," Masato replies.  Suddenly, Brock rushes in 
from the computer room.
	"What's the rush, Brock?" Michelle asks.  "Have we got movie sign and I'm 
just too enthralled with Masato to notice?"
	"No, it's even better than that!" Brock says.  "You know all those fan 
sites devoted to me on the Net?"
	"What fan sites?" Michelle asks skeptically.
	"The ones with all the pictures," Brock replies.
	"Brock, those aren't fan sites.  Those are free hentai sites," Michelle 
replies, shaking her head.
	"Whatever.  The point is, I'm in a bunch of pictures.  People have to like 
me," Brock says.
	"No, more like the people who look at those sites are able to relate to a 
lech like you," Masato replies.
	"Completely ignoring the fact that you're a squinty-eyed, awkward idiot 
around ladies, not at all what they want to be like," Michelle says.  "Not at 
all like the hunk of man standing beside me."
	"Look, just shut up, you two!" Brock exclaims.  He waits a moment to 
compose himself and continues.  "Based on this fan response to me, I've 
developed a questionnaire that will allow some of these fans to be exactly like 
me!"  Michelle puts her hand to her forehead in exhaustion.  "Well, some of 
them, anyway.  Not all of them will have what it takes to endure the rigors of 
being like me."
	"Yeah, a lobotomy can really take it out of you," Michelle comments.
	"I'll ignore that comment," Brock says.  "The quiz consists of four 
sections.  One pertains to knowledge of Pokemon breeding techniques, another to 
dating skills, the third to riffing technique, and a fourth to the arcane arts 
of Ba'al."
	"I didn't know you were a Ba'alite," Michelle comments.
	"Well, it never really came up in the show or the game," Brock replies.  
"One of those cuts for time, apparently.  The sections consist of ten questions 
each of four possible points per question.  The more points you get, the more 
like me you are."
	"How could you get ten questions together for the dating section?" Masato 
asks.
	"Are you kidding me?  I've got a billion of 'em!" Brock replies.
	"Yeah, and all of 'em 'Please?'" Michelle replies.
	"Oh, for Ba'al's sake!  If you're not going to listen to me, I'm just not 
going to explain it to you!" Brock exclaims.  "You'd need bigger brains than a 
peanut to understand it anyway."  He begins to walk away towards the sick bay, 
so that he can show it to Ash.
	"Then how did you write it in the first place?!" Michelle exclaims after 
him.  She quickly turns to Masato.  "See, we've got bashing Brock in common, 
too!"
	"Michelle, you're a nice girl and all, but I really do already have a 
girlfriend," Masato replies.
	"But she's not here," Michelle says.
	"No, but she might be watching," Masato replies.  "You know, the cameras 
and all that..."
	"So?  You're dead and in heaven!  Live a little!" Michelle exclaims.
	"Yeah, but I've got to stay good to stay there," Masato says.  "One of 
those lesser-known clauses they don't tell you about until the orientation.  So 
that means no adultery."
	"But you weren't married to her yet," Michelle points out.
	"Good point, but it's still too bad.  Not gonna," Masato says.  Suddenly, 
the lights begin to flash, and klaxons sound in the background.  "Hey, we've got 
fanfic sign!" He rushes into the theater, followed closely by Michelle.  Brock 
and Ash run their fastest to get in before they're killed.

Door 6: A solid wall.  A short, gray guy points at it to make a hole in it.

Door 5: A chest of drawers. You open the top drawer and climb down into it.

Door 4: A drawbridge.  It falls, missing your feet by a few inches.

Door 3: A wall of fire.  You get Squirtle to put it out.

Door 2: A large hand.  All of the fingers fold into a fist to punch through door 
	1.5 (the sheet of paper)

Door 1: A vault door.  You turn the handle and it swings open easily.

Everyone takes their seats again, ready to endure the next round of pain.

>				-------living room-------
>
>	"Geeze! What are they both doing up there?" said Kiyone and Tenchi. 

Michelle: (Tenchi) Maybe they're covering the ceiling with bologna...
Brock: (Kiyone) No, they're constructing a life-size model of Michelangelo's 
David made entirely of toothpicks!

>Mihoshi then suddenly said, "Ahwww.. Those
>are one of those romance movies when they make love, and drama, and all those 
>other beautiful love stuff!" said Mihoshi.

Michelle: (scans over text again) Wha...?
Masato: Well, it is Mihoshi, so he's not that far off...
Ash: (Mihoshi) And did I mention love?  Love's cool, too!  Don't you think, 
Tenchi?
Brock: (Ryoko) We could make those other beautiful love stuff right now, 
Tenchi...

>Ryouko then said, "I bet'cha Sasami and Torankusu are actully doin' IT!"

Brock: (Kiyone) I didn't know Cousin It had dropped by!
Ash: (Ryoko) Just watch out for the hairballs they cough up later on...

>"Oh my 
>gosh! Tenchi and me never did that!"said Aeka.

Ash: Thank you, Captain Obvious!
Masato: She was so busy with me, she didn't have time!  And boy, did he miss 
out!

>Tenchi then had a huge sweatdrop.

Brock: Now, really.  Is that anything like a cough drop?  What does it make you 
do?  Does it dehydrate you so that you don't sweat?  Or does it start making you 
sweat?  Where's the clarity?!

>"Hah! That's because you are the royal bi-
>yotch! And no one will like you, you bald-headed
>shrimp!" snapped Ryouko. "I am not bald!" shouted Aeka.

Michelle: (Ayeka) I'm underly-haired!  I'm hair challenged!  Hair impaired!
Ash: (Ayeka) Really!  Check my knuckles!  I'm not bald!

>Everyone suddenly had a 
>sweatdrop.

Masato: Honey-flavored or eucalyptus?
Brock: I feel a Mentos commercial coming on...
Michelle: I prefer Jolly Ranchers.  Look, this one's watermelon!

>"Hah! Of course you're bald! I saw
>you remove your hair once!" yelled Ryouko.

Brock: (Ayeka) That wasn't me!  That was the chemotherapy!

>Aeka then suddenly dropped. Her hair 
>dropped off as well. -:I am sooo himuliated!:-,

Ash: Does that mean she went to the Himalayas?
Masato: I didn't know she was a Sherpa!

>thought Aeka. Everyone gasped. "See?! See?! I TOLD YOU SHE'S BALD! AHAHAHAHA! 
>YOU GOT MODED, PRINCESS!"

Michelle: Masato, I can't believe you fell for a bald woman!
Masato: Trust me, that one night, the last thing I was looking at was her 
hair...
Michelle: You know, I'm not bald.
Masato: Yes, but you don't have *those eyes*...

>snapped Ryouko. "Geeze, you were right all along, Ryouko! And gosh... I was 
>going to marry a bald girl? AHHHHH!!!" said Tenchi.

Brock: Well, if he likes girls with lots of hair, then I guess Ryo-oh-ki's his 
top pick!
(everyone slaps Brock)
Ash: Shut up, idiot!  You want *yet another* Oscar-fic on our hands?!

>Ryouko laughed and said, "Yep, you were.." "You know what? Kiyone and I will 
>check what they're doing upstairs.. We're both
>getting a bit worried." said Tenchi.

Brock: Oh, come on!  He just wants to sneak a peak!
Ash: (Kiyone) I'll get the camera!

>"I WANNA GO!!" said Ryouko. "Yeah, you can 
>take Ryouko.. She's more desperate" said Kiyone.

Ash: If she's so desperate, why doesn't she return my phone calls?!

>"Yes, I am desperate alright!" said Ryouko. "I don't feel like going, anyways.. 
>I like this show that I am watching, and I don't wanna
>miss what is gonna happen next!" said Kiyone.

Michelle: (Kiyone) Oh, those Duke boys!  How're they going to make life hell for 
Sheriff Roscoe this week...?
Masato: Nah, she just watches it for Daisy...  Or Flash...

>"Thanks, Kiyone! ^.^" said 
>Ryouko. Ryouko and Tenchi then went upstairs. They
>both heard Torankusu and Sasami actully banging on the wall and moaning. 

Brock: Wow!  I had no idea that hanging up pictures could be so erotic!
Ash: It's all in how you use the hammer...
Michelle: 

>"Geeze! They are doing IT!"said Ryouko.

Masato: Right.  Ryoko using semi-tasteful euphemisms.  Call up the devil and ask 
him if it got cold down there!
Brock: (Ryoko) I do say, Tenchi, it seems that our good friends, one of whom 
we've only known for (checks watch) four hours now, are participating in 
conjugal activities within the confines of the boudoir...

>"Yeah, I noticed."
>said Tenchi. Ryouko then fell into Tenchi's arms. "How come we never did 
>it?"asked Ryouko.

Michelle: (Tenchi) Because he's all hairy, and I'm really not into that.

>"'Cause.. I don't know.. ::changes the 
>subject:: Aren't we suppose to check on them?"said Tenchi.

Brock: (Tenchi) I didn't lug the camcorder out of the basement for nothing, you 
know!

>"Yeah, I forgot." 
>said Ryouko. Tenchi then suddenly opened the door.

Michelle: Yeah, don't bother knocking or anything.  Just bust in like a ninja.  
Why don't you ransack the room while you're at it?

>Torankusu and Sasami then suddenly looked at Tenchi and Ryouko. They both 
>blushed in embarrassment.

Ash: They were ogling the girls in the Sears catalogue!
Michelle: They were renewing their membership in the Ed Wood fan club!

>They were both
>covering themselves with the bedsheets. They were both blushing deep 
>red....

Brock: As opposed to blushing deep burnt sienna.
Michelle: Quiet!  I think Crayola has that color trade-marked!

>"Yep.. I knew it all along!
>I told you they were doing it!" said Ryouko laughing at the same time.

Ash: (Tenchi) I really don't have a problem with someone having sex with a 
family member, but I've got a minimum of six hours acquaintance time, aight?!

>"What 
>are you doing here?"said Torankusu.

Brock: (Tenchi) We're watching you have sex, what does it look like?

>"What do you
>want?" asked Sasami.

Ash: (Ryoko) We want to watch you having sex!  What do you want from us?!
Masato: (Ryoko) We want you to look clearly into the camera and say, "cheese!"

>"Heeeeyy! We were just checking on ya'.. We were a bit 
>worried." said Tenchi.

Michelle: (Tenchi) We were worried that you two might be having sex, but I guess 
that *was* a bit silly...  HEY!!

>"Well, okay.. We're fine. You
>can leave now.."said Sasami.

Brock: (Ryoko) We can, but we're not going to.  Tenchi, can you make me some 
popcorn?

>"Uhmm.. Yeah, we're fine.." said Torankusu. "Okay, 
>Uhh. We'll leave now. Tenchi and I will probably
>do the samething! C'mon Tenchi! Let's do it!" desperately sais Ryouko. 

Brock: (Tenchi) As long as "it" does not involve bumping, scratching, slipping, 
grinding, hurting, moistening, licking, chewing, or a bottle of Tabasco sauce.

>"Nooooo!! Ryouko! We are NOT going to!" yelled Tenchi.

Masato: (Tenchi) I'm saving myself for a fictitious woman that does not exist!
Brock: (Ryoko) Yeah, well what's her name?
Masato: (Tenchi) Uhhhhh... Faye?

>
>				-------Sasami's room-------
>
>"Okay.. I'm getting sorta tired..."said Sasami. "Yeah, I'm getting a bit 
>sleepy.."said Torankusu. ".........I love you, Sasami."said
>Torankusu softly.

Masato: (Sasami) I've loved you for four hours already, and I'll love you for 
four hours more!
Brock: Ladies and gentlemen, the most boring letter sent to Hustler ever!
Michelle: No, you've got the market cornered on those.

>"I love you too, Torankusu." said Sasami, softly. "I'm gonna 
>take a shower and go to bed..."said Torankusu.
>"Same here" Sasami said. They both 

Michelle: Softly...

>gave a passionate kiss 

Michelle: Softly...

>to each other.

Michelle: Softly...

>
>				-------Living room-------
>
>"AHHHHHHH!!! STUPID WHORE!" yelled Kiyone.

Masato: Hey, hey, hey!  That's no way to talk about Sasami!
Michelle: I mean, sure, it *has* only been four hours, but still...

>"That fool!" said Nobuyuki. "Gosh, 
>that stupid whore picked him?!" yelled 
>Kiyone, watching t.v.

Brock: Well, that is one less girl Tenchi has to worry about.
Ash: And one less girl the other girls have to worry about.
Masato: So, I guess everyone's happy.  Except me, who *STILL* doesn't have a TV!
Michelle: You could come over to my place and watch mine...
Masato: How many times do I have to tell you?  That's not a TV.  That's a fish 
tank.
Michelle: Well, that explains the lousy reception...

>"AHHHH! YEAH THAT STUPID FOOL! .....what 
>happened...?"asked Mihoshi, in confusion. 

Ash: Weren't you paying attention?!  Space monkeys are attacking!

>"AH!!!! NOW SHE'S GONNA DIEEE!!" yelled Kiyone, shaking the t.v.

Michelle: Wow, she's been listening to the Astounding Panorama of the Endtimes a 
little too much...
Brock:  I just didn't know that TV's were gender specific.

>Goten then 
>said, "Kiyone, stop! I'm watching, you know!"
>"Ooops.. Sorry." said Kiyone, feeling a bit stupid.

Ash: Feeling stupid around Mihoshi?  That's like feeling fat around Sally 
Struthers!

>"EEHHHHHH!!!" said 
>Nobuyuki. Tenchi was then looking at Aeka, the bald fool.

Masato: No, Ayeka's not a bald fool.  Homer Simpson's a bald fool.  Ayeka is a 
shining, shimmering woman-goddess!
Michelle: Yes, but is she double-jointed?
Masato: Wouldn't you like to know?

>"HAH! That bimbo's still there on the floor.. What a SHAME! I thought 
>princesses must be 'royal' and neat. Hmm.. I guess I was
>wrong!" said Ryouko. 

Ash: Well, at least Ayeka got her to admit that she was wrong...

>	"Torankusu.... I was looking for you!" said Sasami, a bit worried. "Oh, 
>sorrie."said Torankusu. "I was wondering......
>Or.. Maybe just asking.. Do you want to sleep with me tonight?" asked Sasami. 

Brock: Do you even have to ask?
Masato: (Trunks) Actually, I was going to sleep with Washu.  Then Mihoshi.  Then 
Kiyone.  Then Ryoko.  Then Washu again.  At this rate, I should have them all 
done by morning!
 
>"Uhmm.. I don't-..." Torankusu then looked
>into Sasami's eyes. It made him seem sorta bad.

All: JUST LIKE THIS STORY!!!
Brock: Sasami's probably merged with Tsunami by this time, right?
Michelle: Yeah, why?
Brock: Just that hanging around Tsunami would make almost anyone look bad.  
Except Faye.  And the elder Makoto.

>"I mean.. Okay! ^.^ "he said. 

Masato: (Trunks) Damn!  There goes my bid for Guiness Book's "Most Women Slept 
with per Night!"

>"Okay....."said Sasami. 
>	:- Oooooo! That Ryouko! She must pay! She will get humiliated! SHE WILL 
>DIE!-: thought Aeka, as she was walking
>to her room, mysteriously. 

Brock: Well, however one walks mysteriously.  I mean, pick up one foot and put 
it back down.  Not very mysterious, if you ask me.
Ash: Maybe she's wearing a trench-coat and a fedora, slinking down the hallway.
Michelle: (Ayeka) Wanna buy a watch...?

>	"Hey, it's already 12:00 now.. You wanna go to sleep? I'm gettin' kinda 
>tired..." said Kiyone. "::yawn::Yeah me too."
>said Mihoshi.

Masato: Bed-time was moved back to noon?  When did that happen?
Brock: You see, they have no lives there.
Michelle: I wouldn't be one to talk about no life, pal.
Masato: I have the least life of anyone.  I'm dead! 
Ash: Maybe she's talking in Greenwich Mean Time.

>"Hey, Goten.. Where are you gonna be sleeping?" asked Tenchi. "I 
>can sleep in Mihoshi's bedroom." answered Goten.

Brock: Yeah, just make yourself comfortable.  Don't bother asking or anything...
Ash: Now, would that be "bedroom" or "bed?"

>"Yeah, he can sleep in my room." said Mihoshi. "Hmmm.. Where is Torankusu 
>sleeping?" asked Goten. "Hey!" said Sasami.
>She then heard Goten asking.

Michelle: What did he ask?  We placed recorders in the room to catch it!
Brock: (Trunks) Again, Sasami?  I'm tired...!

>"He will be sleeping with me!"she said. "WHOA! 
>TORANKUSU AND SASAMI ARE GOING
>OUT?!" Goten said in amazement.

Masato: No, they're just having sex.  World of difference there.
Brock: He must have missed the whole, "Maybe they're having sex!" conversation 
from earlier.
Ash: (Tenchi) Look, if you're going to be as ditzy as Mihoshi, at least you 
could keep up with the script!

>"GOTEN!!! WOULD YOU SHUT UP FOR A BIT?!" yelled 
>Torankusu. "Gosh.. I was just
>uhhh.. talking to myself?" said Goten, not knowing he was being stupid. 

Brock: Yeah, that's about how it is with stupid people...
Michelle: Of course, that's also how it usually is with insane people.
Ash: (Hannibal) Clarice, is that you...?

>"Awwwwwww, that's cute! .....it's too bad, I don't have any-
>one to snuggle and hug... =/" said Mihoshi, feelings a bit bad.

Masato: Now, that is a hint, if ever I heard one!  And I know most of 'em!
Michelle: Wanna know more?

>Goten then 
>looked at her. "C'mon, Mihoshi. Let's go to bed now."

Michelle: (checks watch) Yup, five hours!  Right on schedule!
Brock: I use that line all the time!
Ash: Has it worked yet?
Brock: Not once in thirty years!

>"Yeah, let's go to bed. Good night everyone!" Tenchi said. "Good 
>night."everyone said to each other. "Hey, Tenchi!" Ryouko said,
>trying to say it in a very sexy tone.

Michelle: And failing miserably, succeeding only in making it sound like an 
electric pencil sharpener.
Ash: (Ryoko) Wanna go do our tax returns?!

>"Whaaaaaatt?!?!" said Tenchi, being 
>annoyed a bit. "You wanna have hot sex with me?"
>asked Ryouko.

Brock: Sure, she'll offer it to some gangly teenager who got a cheap shot, but 
she won't offer it to an up-and-coming Pokemon breeder with pecs like Brad Pitt!  
No justice!

>"NOOOOOOO!!! I don't want no hot sex!" yelled Tenchi. "C'mon! I 
>know you do!" said Ryouko. "No! I don't!
>Good night! Go to bed!" yelled Tenchi, getting even more disappointed.

Brock: Disappointed? 
Michelle: (Tenchi) If you're not offering me a Radio Flyer wagon, then I'm not 
interested.

>"Fine! 
>You won't know what a fine, hot, sexy body
>you are missing!" said Ryouko, disappointed.

Masato: What, you mean the one that he's seen in the bath, walking around the 
house, in the cave, in space-ships, and at space bars?
Ash: Yeah, that's the one he's missing.

>"Yeah, yeah, yeah.. Go to sleep!" 
>said Tenchi.

Masato: (Tenchi)... In your own bed this time!
Brock: There's a spot open in my bed!
Michelle: Yeah, I wonder why...
Brock: You're welcome to it, Michelle!
Michelle: Sorry, I'm taken.  Right, Masato?
Masato:..........

>
>			-------Mihoshi's bedroom.-------
>

Ash: The two magic words that make my life worth living...
Michelle: Well, at least the setting's not Washu's Erotic Torture Chamber.

> 	"Sorry, Mihoshi. I don't have anywhere else to sleep." said Goten, feeling 
>a bit ashamed.

Brock: (Mihoshi) Well, you know, there's always the closet.
Masato: Yeah, I'm dead.  My room should be open.
Ash: (Goten) Hey, cool!  There's a TV in the closet!
Masato: (looming) Don't start with me!

>" It's okay.. I don't
>mind you sleeping here." said Mihoshi, not having to be disappointed at all. 

Michelle: (Mihoshi) As long as you're not actually sleeping here.
Brock: Think about what you just said, Michelle.
Michelle: .......D'oh!

>"Heh, thanks! ^.^" said Goten. Mihoshi was then
>suddenly changing into her p.j's. She then removed her shirt.

Brock: (holding up ten-dollar bills) Woo-hoo!
Ash: And she's not even drunk yet!
(Masato and Michelle slap both of them)

>Goten stared at 
>her. "......Goten....?!" she then said, covering 
>herself. Goten then started whistling away.

Ash: What was he whistling?  Dixie?
Michelle: Isn't that the theme to "Shaft"?

>"Huh?" he said, acting a bit 
>stupid.

Masato: Oh, he's not acting!

>"Oh, nothin'.." said Mihoshi. "I gotta
>get changing, too." said Goten. "Okay." said Mihoshi.

Brock: (Mihoshi) All right.  Poof!  You're a meatloaf!
Michelle: Well, they go so well together!  A meatloaf and a meathead!

>Goten then removed his 
>shirt. Mihoshi then looked back.

Ash: ...On her career, wondering how in the hell she had sunk this low...
Masato: Gee, it couldn't be because she has no brains!
Brock: Sure, but she has such wonderful talent!

>-: Gosh, he's cute... :- thought Mihoshi. Mihoshi then took off her pants. 
>"Goten, help me. I can't reach this spot." asked
>Mihoshi.

Brock: Boy, I really wish this was a pop-up book right now!
Michelle: Boy, if you don't stop that...
Masato: Don't you think that's a little advanced for you?

>Goten then suddenly blushed. "Uhh... Okay." he unzipped the back part 
>of her pants.

Ash: Mihoshi is officially Kris Krossed, ladies and gentlemen!
Michelle: Hold it, how did she get them zipped in the first place if she can't 
reach now?
Brock: (Mihoshi) Tenchi, could you get this for me?
Masato: (Tenchi) You mean I'd have to... t-touch your pants?!
Ash: Ah, yes, the copious nose-bleeding shot!

>He then, could see
>her underwear sorta sticking out.

Brock: (Goten) Mihoshi, please tell me that's a banana in your pocket and you're 
not just happy to see me...
Masato: Wow!  Mihoshi's apparently a transsexual and I never found this out 
while I was living there!  And I was kind of attracted to her, too!
Michelle: You'll be happy to know that I'm all woman!

>"Thanks." said Mihoshi. "Uhhh... No problem.. 
>=P" said Goten. "Hey Mihoshi."
>asked Goten. "Yeah?" said Mihoshi.

Brock: I don't know if I can pull myself away from this riveting dialogue to 
grab a bag of chips. (stands up and walks to the door)
Michelle: You can't get out, idiot.
Brock: I bet they'd let me out if I threatened to kill someone!  Masato, are you 
feeling lucky?!
Masato: I'm feeling dead, idiot!

>"Do you think Tenchi would lemme borrow one 
>of his tanktops?" asked Goten.
>"Yeah, I'm sure." said Mihoshi.

Ash: She knows even without asking!
Brock: (Mihoshi) No one speaks to Tenchi EXCEPT THROUGH ME!!!
Michelle: Wow!  Not only is Mihoshi a transsexual, but she's Miss Cleo, too!
Brock: So, wait.  Miss Cleo's a transsexual?
Masato: I knew it all along!

>Goten walked to Tenchi's room. Goten knocked on 
>his door. "If it's Ryouko...
>FUCK OFF!"

Ash: No, that's what you don't want her to do!
Masato: Take it from experience, it's dangerous to use the F-word and "Ryoko" in 
the same sentence.

>yelled Tenchi. "Not really.. This is Goten..." he said. "Oh, my bad. 
>Come in." said Tenchi. " Okay." Goten said.
>He then went into Tenchi's room.

Masato: And was astounded by the number of naked woman pictures on Tenchi's 
walls!  And ceiling!  And floor to a certain extent!
Brock: He's the John Nash of perverts!
Ash: There's a pattern in the size of these women's-
(Michelle slaps Ash)

>"Tenchi.. I was wondering.. Can I borrow one 
>of your tanktops?" asked Goten.
>"Okay." Tenchi gave Goten 5 tanktops.

Ash: (Goten) Hey, Tenchi!  I said a tanktop!  Not a wardrobe!  One tanktop!  
Singular!

>"Gee! Sankyuu Tenchi!" Goten said, 
>feeling very thankful.

Ash: (mischievous smile) Hey, that word looks a lot like Sakuya!
Brock: (jumping from seat) Where's she?!  I'll kill her!!!
Michelle: (to Masato) Never mention her around Brock.  He's still a bit riled up 
about the whole kiss thingy.

>"Hey, n.p.!" said
>Tenchi.

Michelle: Noise pollution?
Brock: Nintendo Power?
Ash: No product?
Masato: Nothing personal?
Michelle: The world may never know...

>"Well, see ya' in the morning! Good night." said Goten.

Brock: (Tenchi) What, you're not going to sleep with me tonight?!
Michelle: Well, that would be about seven hours, so it's right on schedule!

>"You too. =)" 
>said Tenchi. Goten then went back to
>Mihoshi's room. "Okay, I'm back." said Goten.

Michelle: (Mihoshi) No, you're not.  You were just drugged and think you're 
back.
Brock: He's really wandering around in some corn field outside of Boise, Idaho.
Ash: And he's talking to the scarecrow!
Masato: (Goten) So, I just follow this golden-bricked path?

>Goten then put on one of Tenchi's 
>tanktop. He then only wore
>his boxers and his tanktop.

Michelle: Oooh!  I feel a Calvin Kline ad coming on!
Masato: See the new line, CK Saiyan!

>"Well, I'll be going to bed now, Mihoshi. Good 
>night." said Goten. "Goten......" Mihoshi
>said. "Yeah?" he asked. "....well, I know this will be sort of a dumb 
>question..

Michelle: Trust me, you don't need to say that, Mihoshi.  We know.

>But... can I sleep with you?" asked
>Mihoshi, blushing. Goten suddenly blushed as well...

Brock: Normally, I think this would be considered a come-on, but I don't think 
she realizes what she's saying.
Masato: Really!  She doesn't realize what month it is!

>"Uhmm.. If you want.. =/ I 
>don't mind, really." said Goten.
>"...okay.." said Mihoshi. Goten suddenly slipped into the covers of the bed. 

Michelle, Brock, and Ash: TOGG!!!
Masato: I assume it's better not to ask...

>Mihoshi then crawled on top of Goten

Ash: (Goten) Mihoshi!  You're so... heavy!

>and went to the side of him. "I've.. I've never felt this way before..

Michelle: (Goten) You're not going to throw up, are you?
Brock: (Mihoshi) Well, except for this one other time with this girl from 
Russia, but that's another story completely...

>I never 
>had someone to sleep with before..."

Brock: Well, she's lived in a house full of people to sleep with!  She's just 
never bothered to ask!

>said Mihoshi with a tear rolling down her cheek. Goten suddenly kissed Mihoshi 
>on the lips. He then put his arms
>around her. "Mihoshi..." Goten said softly. "Goten....?" said Mihoshi. 
>"......will you go out with me?" she asked, nervously.

Ash: (Goten) No, I will not have sex with you!

>"Uhmm... Okay......." Goten said. Goten then pushed his face against Mihoshi. 

(All burst out laughing)
Masato: Now, *that* is an interesting visual!

>Mihoshi then frenched kiss Goten good night.

Brock: She frenched Kiss?!  Gene Simmons, you DOG!
Michelle: Now, I didn't know that Goten was a member of Kiss, either!
Ash: The fanfic that teaches you something new every two lines!

>".............................................." Goten remained speechless for 
>a while. "Uhhmmm... Good night Mihoshi..."said Goten.
>"I love you Goten.. Good night."she said.
>

Masato: This fanfic has been brought to you by Trunks's and Goten's new book, 
"How to Make a Woman Fall in Love with you in Seven Hours or Less!"  Bantam 
Books, 2001. $19.95 American, $24.95 Canadian.

>
>			-------Next Morning-------
>

Michelle: In a completely unrelated house about five thousand miles away...

>	"DING, DING, DING! DING, DING, DING! WAKE UP! WAKE UP!" went Sasami's
>alarm clock. "Wake up.. Torankusu! It's morning." Sasami said. "Wha-..? Huh..? 
>Fuck, that wasn't a dream, huh?" said
>Torankusu.

Brock: (Goten) Dude, you must have been pretty wasted last night!
Ash: (Trunks) Dude, where's my car?
Brock: (Goten) Where's your car, dude?

>"Uhmm.. No.. It wasn't." she said. "YAY!!" Torankusu jumped happily. 
>"Wow... You sure are so energetic for
>the morning.." Sasami said.

Michelle: Must be that glucose IV he's got hooked up.
Masato: (Goten) It's not the morning, Sasami.  It's ten o'clock at night.  Your 
alarm clock is broken.

>"Hey, I'll go wake up Goten and the others." said 
>Torankusu. Torankusu then headed off to
>Mihoshi's room.

Brock: No, Trunks, don't bother putting on any clothes or anything.  I'm sure no 
one will mind gazing upon you in the buff.
Michelle: Ah, just give FUNimation something else to cover up...

>"WHOA! GOTEN!" yelled Torankusu. "Wha...?" said Goten, just 
>waking up. "YOU SLEPT WITH MIHOSHI!
>UNBELIEVABLE!" said Torankusu, really astonished.

Masato: Whoah!  Trunks!  You can see in the room without actually opening the 
door or going in!
Brock: Oh, come on!  It's not that unbelievable.  After all, it had been seven 
hours!

>"Yeah.. and what's your 
>point?" said Goten, rubbing his eyes.
>"Oh, nothin', man.. It's just hard to believe... Did you guys did it, or 
>somethin'?" asked Torankusu.

Ash: Ah, yes!  Classic New Yorker grammar!
Brock: How about I bring over my friend Vinnie to "take care" of "the thing"?

>"No! We did not!"
>said Goten, a bit angry. "Ahhhh! XD" said Torankusu.

Michelle: My gods, he's speaking in tongues!
Masato: Is it time to call the exorcist?
Ash: Make sure none of the blood from his palms drips onto the nice, clean 
linens!

>"Yeah, yeah.. Anyways, is 
>Sasami cooking something?" asked Goten.
>"Yeah, she's making some sushi and sashimi, why?" asked Torankusu.

Brock: Wow, she gave him sex, and she's making him breakfast!  No wonder he's in 
love!
Ash: I'm surprised he's still there!
Michelle: Sasami's making sushi and sashimi!  It's even an educational tool for 
enunciation!

>"Nahh, I'm 
>just hungry." said Goten. 
>"Okay, well I'll get changed now." said Torankusu.

Michelle: Well, actually getting dressed in the first place would be a good 
thing, I think.

>"Yeah, me too." said Goten. 
>"Since it's gonna take a while, I might
>as well, watch t.v. with Kiyone and stuff.. Bai!" said Torankusu.

Brock: So, he's going to watch TV with Kiyone while he's changing?
Michelle: Now, he's a bold one!
Ash: Yes, but is he daring?
Masato: (Trunks) Hey, Kiyone!  Your bras fit perfectly on me!

>"See ya'." 
>said Goten. -:Wow, Goten and Mihoshi!
>.....I never thought Goten would end up with her!

Brock: I thought he'd end up with Nobuyuki!
Ash: I thought he'd end up with Ryo-oh-ki!
All: (slap Ash *hard*)

>Haha! Since they are both 
>dumbasses in a way. ::laughs:: Well,
>Goten is still cool and he is my best friend.

Michelle: (Trunks) But I'm going to have to stab him in the back and take his 
girlfriend.
Brock: (Trunks) I will have them all!  Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

>And Mihoshi is kinda cute.. But 
>compared to Sasami! She is far better
>to my eyes. 

Brock: Hold it, Mihoshi's better looking?  Then why not go after her?
Ash: She's twenty years older than him?
Brock: So he likes older women.  Just give him an extra hour!

>Heh.. :- Torankusu thought to himself. "Mihoshi, wake up." said 
>Goten, waking up Mihoshi.

Masato: This announcement was brought to you by the Department of Redundancy 
Department.  Make sure to repeat yourself whenever you can repeat yourself!

>"Huh.........?
>"Hey, konnichiwa!" greeted Goten to Mihoshi. "Ohh.. Heh, hey!" said Mihoshi, 
>rubbing her eyes. "I'm gonna get changed.
>Sasami is making sushi and sashimi for breakfast."said Goten.

Ash: And she's selling seashells by the seashore.
Michelle: Now, I might just not be quite so globally versed as I should, but 
sushi doesn't seem to be a valid breakfast item to me.  And I'm not too sure 
about sashimi, either.
Brock: Well, neither is ice cream, but that never stopped you.

>"Really? Cool!" 
>said Mihoshi. Goten started changing
>into his clothes.

Michelle: (Mihoshi) Poof!  Now, you're a pair of boxer shorts!
Brock: Funny, I always saw him as more of a briefs man.

>Goten then took off the tanktop and then put on his turquise 
>and yellow shirt. He then put on his
>khakis.

Michelle: To all viewers, I must apologize.  It must be said again.
All: YOU ARE NOT YOUR FUCKING KHAKIS!!!
Michelle: Thank you for your patience.

>"I'm gonna get changed too." Mihoshi then looked into her drawer. "You 
>know.. I cannot decide what to wear.."

Brock: That's okay!  We like you naked!
Masato: Let me guess, something khaki.

>said Mihoshi. "I'll help you find something." said Goten. Goten spotted one 
>shirt that was almost like his. Except hers
>was a tanktop and it was silk.

Brock: What the heck?  They're trying to make Mihoshi into Erasa!
Masato: They're actually a pretty good match.

>He then saw one of her mini-skirts that were 
>khaki material.

Ash: Good call, Masato!
Masato: I know my khakis!
Michelle: This fic's like one big Old Navy ad...

>"Goten, these are 
>almost like your clothes..!" said Mihoshi, not noticing what Goten's little 
>plans were. "Yeah, I know.. Now we can be
>twins!"

Brock: Like Ahnold Schwartzenegger and Danny DeVito!
Michelle: (Mihoshi) Except that I'm a girl and you're a guy.  And I have breasts 
and you don't.  I'm pretty sure.
Ash: And what lovely breasts they are!

>said Goten, sorta immature. Mihoshi then removed her top. Goten stared, 
>unaware that he would get slapped.
>"Goten! .......Oh, it's ok.. I don't matter to me, really.. 'Cause we love each 
>other, right?" said Mihoshi.

Brock: (Goten) Mihoshi, Mihoshi, Mihoshi.  That was just something I said to get 
into your pants!  You've got to learn when not to listen!

>"Yeah! ^.^"
>said Goten. Mihoshi then put on her silk shirt that Goten picked out for her. 
>"Goten, can you tie this one?" Mihoshi
>asked.

Ash: (Goten) No, I can't.  I guess you'll just have to walk around all day 
without a shirt.
Brock: Yes!  There is a God!

>Goten then tied the strings that were behind Mihoshi's back and neck. 
>"There" he said. "Thanks."
>said Mihoshi. Mihoshi then putted on her khaki mini-skirt.

Masato: YOU ARE NOT GOLFING ON YOUR-
Michelle: They get the idea.

>She slipped into it. 
>The mini-skirt only stopped
>where her thighs had started.

Brock: Wow!  At the Femoral-pelvic joint?!  Now *that's* a miniskirt!
Michelle: No, that's not a miniskirt.  That's a blindfold.  It's a dinner 
napkin.

>"SeKsY MiHa'!" yelled Goten.

Ash: (Goten as Fat Bastard) I'm dead sexy!
Brock: (ibid, singing) Sexy man, sexy man...

>Mihoshi blushed. 
>"Heh, you really think so? =P"
>Mihoshi said. "Would I lie to you, Mihoshi?" said Goten.

All: YES!

>"No...." she said. 
>Mihoshi then tried to pull down
>the mini-skirt a little bit.

Michelle: So maybe this time, it actually covers something!

>Mihoshi then blirted out. "Ahh! I don't wanna wear 
>no baggy underwear XP"

Michelle: Why not?  It would cover you more than your skirt does!
Ash: Yeah, but that's no fun!

>"Can I look through your underwear drawer?" asked Goten.

Brock: Happosai *is* Goten *in* "Tenchi Muyo! Meets Dragonball Z/GT!"
Masato: (Mihoshi) Only if you tell me what's in there!

>Mihoshi didn't seem to 
>hear him a bit.
>Goten just went through it. He then suddenly blushed.

Ash: He had "accidentally" come across the edible ones!

>He then found a yellow g-
>string. "AHH!
>...What are these called?" asked Goten, stupidly.

Michelle: I don't know.  Maybe, it's a g-string, like the script says!  Ya' 
moron!

>"EEK!" Mihoshi was surprised. 
>She then suddenly
>blushed and snatched it from Goten..

Brock: (Mihoshi) That's actually the trigger device for the doomsday device!  
Never suspect an innocent G-string, would they?  Those Capitalist pigs!

>"Uhh.. Aeka said they were good and they 
>felt comfortable.. 

Masato: Yes, that woman knows how to wear a g-string, all right!

>So I bought like a ton of them.

Brock: Oh, and I suppose that if Ayeka jumped off a bridge, then you would, 
too?!
Masato: I sure would.
Michelle: You're already dead.  What would it matter?

>She said they are better than underwears.... 
>Hmmmmmm.........
>I think they are called g-strings..

Michelle: No, they're actually p-strings.  You just got the letter backwards.

>I forgot. You know.. I'm gonna try them 
>on." said Mihoshi. She then
>suddenly took off her underwear.

Brock: MIHOSHI!  Don't... make... any... sudden... movements... You'll frighten 
the Goten!

>She then through it to Goten. "AAAHHHHHHHH!! 
>This isn't a strip
>club, Mihoshi!!" said Goten, holding her underwear by its tip.

Ash: (Mihoshi) Yes, it is!  Don't you remember what you did last night?  You 
were totally wasted!
Michelle: Okay, guys, enough with the "Dude" riffs already.

>Mihoshi them 
>grabbed it from him, and threw
>it in the hamper in her closet.

Masato: What, she couldn't do that in the first place?

>She then put on the g-string. "These are quite 
>comfortable! Geeze, Aeka was
>right!"said Mihoshi. Mihoshi then went outside downstairs. Goten followed.
>			

Brock: Wow!  Wearing nothing but a g-string?!
Ash: Oh, heavenly bliss that is this fanfic!
Michelle: Ash, she's taken.  Remember, the seven hour rule?
Ash: Goddammit!

>			
>			-------Tenchi's room-------
>

Brock: Buzz!  What is the least likely place for a lemon to take place?
Michelle: Buzz!  What is the place where you're most likely to find a broom at 
any given time?
Masato: Buzz!  What is the only room of the house that Ayeka and I haven't done 
it in?!

>	Tenchi finally woke up. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
>"Hi, Tenchi! I woke up early this morning. So... I decided to suck you a bit! 
>o.~" said Ryouko in a really
>sex-tone voice.

Michelle: Ah, yes, the Mighty Mighty Sextones!  Always popular with the kids!
Brock: The impression that I get is to avoid this fic.
Ash: Holy smoke!  This fic sucks!
Masato: Hush, guys!  We need to pay attention!
Rest: Why?

>"YOU FUCKIN' HOMO! DON'T TOUCH THIS AREA! IT'S OFF LIMITS!
>YOU UNDERSTAND?" yelled Tenchi.

Michelle: ...And that was number five of the top ten things that you never want 
to hear on your wedding day!

>"Your dick tasted good over the night. *sigh* I 
>bet you had
>wet dreams about me!" said Ryouko, getting a bit horny.

Masato: (Tenchi) Well, if by you, you mean Sakuy-
(Michelle clamps his mouth shut)
Michelle: Ixnay on the Akuyasay!

>"Ryouko.. Leave.. Or 
>I'll make you!"
>"Fine, make me!" said Ryouko.

Brock: (Tenchi) If you don't leave, I'll... yell at you some more!  And this 
time, it won't be quite so nice!

>"What part of  'get the fuck out' don't you 
>understand, Ryouko?!"
>said Tenchi, getting really pissed off.

Ash: (Ryoko) The whole part about fuck.  Maybe you could teach me!

>"Give me hot sex first, Tenchi! Then 
>I'll leave." said Ryouko.

Masato: No, she won't.  Then, she'll want to cuddle and talk and all that crap!

>-: Why me? Can't she like someone else? Why! WHY?! WASHUU!!! :-
>

Michelle: Well, she's not going to like Washu.  That'd be just plain weird.
Brock: We can only hope it turns into that kind of fic...

>			-------kitchen-------
>	
>	"Breakfast is ready!" said Sasami. Everyone suddenly came down. "As I 
>said.. LAST ONE
>TO THE TABLE IS A ROTTEN EGGY!" yelled Goten, again using his Zenzoken. "*sigh* 
>When are
>you 2 going to grow-up?" said Kiyone, to herself.

Ash: I don't know.  Maybe if you put them through the "time machine" a few more 
times.
Brock: Or you could just slap them around a little bit.
Masato: Ah, so now Kiyone's got multiple personalities...
Ash: One's nice, the other one's *naughty!*
Brock: I call dibs on the naughty one!
Ash: Maybe if we hit her on the head...

>"I GOT HERE FIRST!" yelled 
>Torankusu.

(All cover ears)
Michelle: Not since C-Ko in "A-ko: the College Years..."
Brock: WHAT?!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

>"Nuuuuuuhhhhh!!!! ME!!" yelled Goten. "You guys... Stop... Please... Just eat!" 
>said Tenchi, 
>desperately. Goten started eating. "Ahhhh! I told you Sasami! You're great!" 

Brock: I'd think that Trunks would know more about that than Goten would.

>"Yeah, that's why I 
>love her!" said Torankusu, pulling her against him. ". Is that why you are 
>going out with me?"

Ash: (Trunks) No!  It's because I want sex!  Once every night!  And sometimes 
right after lunch!

>said Sasami, a bit glum. "No! I love you 'cause... I just do!"

Michelle: Well, that just means he's been watching too many Apple Jacks 
commercials.

>Torankusu said, 
>kissing her on her head. 

Brock: Which head?
Masato: (slaps Brock twice for effect)
Ash: Oh, so Sasami's a hermaphrodite now?
Masato: (slaps Ash)
Brock: Great, it's Oscar all over again!
Ash: Well, that explains why Ryo-oh-ki likes her so much.
Masato: (slaps both of them again) Michelle, does your wrist get tired a lot?
Michelle: You have no idea...

>"Heh... Okay... o.o;;" said Sasami. "Kiyone... You can never stop laying  your 
>eyes on that t.v., can
>you?" asked Goten.

Masato: (Kiyone) I just can't help it!  That David Duchovny's just such a 
hottie!
Michelle: (Mihoshi) You think Duchovny's got something?  You haven't seen Alex 
Trebek!

>"I don't know.. I am proably addicted, eh? Heheheehehe..." 
>said Kiyone, feeling
>sorta stupid. "Hmph.. Neither can Nobuyuki, huh?" Goten said to himself. 

Ash: (Nobuyuki) I can't help it!  Alex Trebek's just such a hottie!

>Nobuyuki was almost the 
>same as Kiyone..

Brock: Except that Kiyone's breasts were a lot larger.
Ash: And Nobuyuki doesn't look as good in a skin-tight, shiny outfit.
Masato: (shivering) You don't know the half of it...

>They were both hooked onto the t.v., and most of the shows.  

Michelle: Except for "Temptation Island."  Even they have their limits.

>"Hey, Tenchi! Where's
>Aeka?" asked Goten. "Hmmmmmmm... I am not so sure.. She hasn't got outta her 
>room since we've seen
>her bald head...."

Brock: Oh, well, that makes perfect sen- g'huh?!
Michelle: (Tenchi) Well, I don't know if she's in her room, but she hasn't left 
her room.  I'll check the laundry room.
Ash: Could someone please hit me really hard on the head so that what he just 
said makes sense?
Michelle: Well, all you had to do was ask!
Ash: Ummm, what's that crowbar for?

>said Tenchi, laughing. Everyone started laughing.

Ash: (Tenchi) Yes!  Yes!  Let me taste her tears of unfathomable sadness!

>"Oh, 
>ahahaahhahahahaahhhahaha!!!"
>laughed Ryouko. "Yesh! All because of me.. I am the best! And I am not bald!" 

Masato: Oh, I don't know about that one.

>said Ryouko. "Yea, we
>all know that..." said Tenchi. "Yeah, now gimmie hot sex!" said Ryouko, as sexy 
>as she can.

Brock: (Tenchi) Whoah!  Hello!
Masato: Ah, yes, the subtle magic of seduction...

>"RYOUKO!
>YOU BITCH! WHEN WILL YOU EVER SHUT UP?!" yelled Tenchi, acrossed the table. 

Michelle: This fic has been amplified five thousand times for the hard of 
hearing.
Ash: They even got THX to do the sound!
Masato: My god!  My ears!  They're bleeding!

>"Right after you
>give me hot sex, Tenchi!" said Ryouko. "::sigh:: If I give you what you want... 
>Will you shut the fuck up
>forever?" asked Tenchi, very annoyed. "Yes! I would! Give me one full day of 
>pure hot sex!" yelled Ryouko

Michelle: (announcer) Order your copy today of "Pure Hot Sex," the new album by 
Barry White!  Twenty-four hours of the dirtiest love songs you've ever heard!

>desperately. "Ohh gosh......." Tenchi said softly to himself.

Brock: There's that softly again!  It sure is in there a lot!
Ash: I guess they're trying to make up for all that yelling earlier.
Masato: WHAT?!  I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

>Washuu was 
>sitting right next to Tenchi.
>So Washuu then whispered to him, "I will try to do something about it, okay?" 

Ash: You mean Washu's going to give Ryoko Pure Hot Sex (tm)?!
Brock: Now there's something that I'd like to read!  As long as it's by another 
author.  One who's of legal age.  And can use basic grammar skills.  And can 
draw from personal experience.

>"Oh, gee.. Thanks.. I hope
>you can actully turn her off her something..

Ash: I know something that could really turn her off.  You looking at Sakuya.
Brock: Bitch?!  WHERE?!

>She's really pissing me off!" said 
>Tenchi, in a really loud whisper.
>"OMG!

Michelle: "Omg?"  That must be one of those weird Turkmenistani words...

>I CAN'T WAIT!" said Ryouko, jumping around after her putting her dish 
>into the sink.

Masato: Hold it!  Ryoko cleaning up after herself?!  The Apocalypse is upon us!  
REPENT!

>She then 
>went upstairs into her room. "I'll wait for you in my lab." said Washuu.

Brock: ...As she cracked her knuckles.
Masato: (Tenchi) Look!  I already know you have magic fingers!  You don't have 
to remind me every five minutes!

>"It's 
>okay, I'm done now. Thanks
>Sasami! It was great!" said Tenchi.

Michelle: (Tenchi) I didn't know that Opossum Gizzards could taste so delicate!
Ash: (Sasami) That was tuna casserole.

>"Okay, n.p" said Sasami, eating a bit. 

Masato: Neural Processor?
Ash: Nifty Pumpkins?
Michelle: Non-profit?
Brock: Nine pancakes?
Michelle: The world may still never know...

>Tenchi then ran to catch up with
>Washuu. "Okay, Washuu, you are gonna try, right?" asked Tenchi.

Ash: (Washu) Of course not!  I was just luring you into my lab so that I could 
give you Pure Hot Sex (tm) first!
Brock: (Tenchi) Well, if you insist...

>"Of course! 
>Ryouko IS also giving
>me a headchae. =P"she said.

Michelle: What the hell's a headchae, anyway?
Masato: Sounds like a species of bacteria to me.
Ash: Well, whatever it is, it equals P.
Michelle: Is this a fanfic or a calculus equation?!

>"Yeah.. =/" said Tenchi. Washuu, then opened the 
>door to her lab. 
>

Michelle: ...Only to find spring-loaded snakes popping out at her!
Ash: (Tenchi) So that's why the door was labeled "Peanut Brittle!"

>		
>
>			-------Washuu's Lab-------
>

Brock: Okay, fic, you've got about a page and a half to go somewhere with this!  
We can wait as long as you can...
Masato: It can't hear you.  It's a piece of paper.
Ash: You'd be surprised!

>	"Tenchi.. Can you find Ryouko somewhere?" asked Washuu, typing into her 
>computer.

Masato: (Tenchi) You bet I can!
Michelle: (Washu) Well, are you going to?
Masato: (Tenchi) No, but I can!

>"Okay, Washuu." said Tenchi.

Ash: (Tenchi) Let me use my Ryoko call!
Brock: (Washu) Tenchi, that's a zipper.
Ash: (Tenchi) Exactly!

>Tenchi then exited her lab and went upstairs to 
>Ryouko's room.

Masato: So, wait.  What was the point of going in there in the first place?
Michelle: Uhhhh... I dunno.
Ash: Ah, the hell with it.  Run 'em through the time machine again!

>"Oh, there you are my Tenchi Pooo!

Brock: (singing) Mister Tenchi, the Christmas Poo...
Michelle: Yeah, I can't wait for Mihoshi Toweley.

>I was waiting for you alll this time!" 
>desperately said Ryouko.
>"Ryouko... Come with me to Washuu's lab. She wants to show you somethin'." said 
>Tenchi.

Ash: Don't tell me she's a hermaphrodite, as well!
Masato: Michelle, could you take this one for me?
Michelle: Why don't we do it together?  It'll bring us closer!
Masato: Oh, will you shut up?!

>"Okay... This better not be some trick..." Ryouko said, getting a little 
>suspisious about Tenchi
>and Washuu's plans.

Michelle: Mostly because he was hiding behind his back a roll of piano wire, a 
jar of jelly beans, and a rubber ducky.
Masato: Well, always gotta be prepared for anything!
Brock: Yeah, that'd cover just about every emergency imaginable!

>They both entered Washuu's lab. "Okay, Ryouko.. Come here." 
>said Washuu.
>"What are you doing, you geek?!" said Ryouko.

Brock: (Washu) What does it look like I'm doing?  I'm giving Tenchi a sponge 
bath!  Yeah!  You like that?!

>"Ahahaha! Since you've been so 
>horny for Tenchi,
>he told me you were realy bothering him!

Masato: Just another reason that I think there's something wrong with that 
boy...

>You have to stop!" said Washuu, 
>injecting a needle with
>a type of fluid that will make her faint for 6 weeks.

Brock: You mean repeatedly?!  Put something soft underneath her, at least!
Michelle: (Grandpa) Ah, that's nothing!  I go in and out of comas all the- 
zzzzzz...

>Ryouko suddenly fainted. 

Ash: Wow!  Now, *there's* a surprise!
Brock: Didn't see that one from a mile away!

>"::sigh:: Thanks Washuu."
>said Tenchi with total grattitude. "No problem! .....just helpin' you out.. =P" 
>said Washuu. Tenchi
>then suddenly gave Washuu a passionate kiss.

Masato: (grabs head) OWWW!
Michelle: You okay, sugar lumpkin?
Masato: Don't call me that.  I think that my cognitive dissonance is failing 
under the pressure.

>"I don't know how I can ever 
>repay..." said Tenchi,
>hugging Washuu.

Brock: Wow!  All that time Washu's been trying to seduce Tenchi, and all she had 
to do was knock out Ryoko!
Michelle: Masato, if I knock Ash out, will you kiss me?
Masato: Umm, I think it's the other way around.
Michelle: Oh, I'll kiss you without knocking out Ash.
Masato: I'm sure you would.

>"Hey, it's okay!" said Washuu. "...are you sure?" asked Tenchi. 
>"Yes... I am, sure.."
>she said. 

Ash: And she doesn't do anything with that situation?!  Gyp!
Michelle: gosh, for being so smart, she sure is stupid!
Brock: Nah, off-camera she says to him, and I quote, "Now, let us kiss with 
tongues!"

>
>			-------Living Room-------
>
>"Nooooo! Why didn't Rei pick Shinji??!?!" Kiyone said,

Masato: Maybe because Rei was too busy with Yuuchiro.

>getting upset of 
>the show she
>was watching. "Ahhhh! Asuka! That traitor!" said Nobuyuki shaking the t.v. "As 
>yet last night...
>I am watching.. Stop shaking the t.v.!" complained Goten.

Ash: Hey!  Goten's doing bad haiku!
Masato: Well, at least he has a TV TO SHAKE!!!
Michelle: I'm telling you, I've got a perfectly good TV in my room!
Masato: Yeah, and a time machine, too, right?
Michelle: Oh, we could make time stand still, honey!

>"Yeah! Stop shaking 
>it! I wanna see what
>happens next!" also complained Mihoshi.

Brock: (Goten) Oh, I know what happens next.  The guy finds out that the secret 
message is the nursery rhyme he was singing to his daughter!

>"Oops, sorry!" said Nobuyuki. "Now, 
>who's the immature
>one now,

Brock: Yeah, it looks like the hand's on the other foot now, doesn't it?!

>Kiyone?" said Goten, with a smirk on his face. "You still!" said 
>Kiyone.

Michelle: (Goten) I know you are, but what am I?!
Masato: (Kiyone) I'm rubber and you're glue!

>"You freakin'
>green-haired witch!" yelled Goten, into Kiyone's face. "AARRGHH! You good-for-
>nothin' side-haired
>hair boy!"

Brock: Okay, I have no idea what that's supposed to mean.  Is it offensive?  Is 
it fun?  Is it bleah?  Is it woo-hoo?

>said Kiyone. "Ahahahahahaha! ::sweatdrop:: Right... =/" said Goten. 
>"Can I watch some 
>t.v. here?" Yosho complained.

Masato: Why don't you go and use one of the other fifteen TV's in this 
household?!  You know, one of the ones that's hanging from the ceiling?!  One of 
the three that're in the kitchen cupboard?!  Maybe the one that's doubling as a 
couch!!

>"Oops..." Kiyone and Goten said together. Mihoshi 
>then sat down with
>Goten.

Brock: (Mihoshi) You know, we've known each other for half a day now, and I 
really think we should get married.  Otherwise, people might start talking!

>"Hey, you wanna go watch some episodes? Or one of the movie series?"she 
>asked. "Ok!"
>said Goten. 

Masato: (Mihoshi) This great new sitcom just came on!  It's called "Blood 
Dumpster!"

>
>			-------Mihoshi's room.-------
>

Masato: (Goten) Mihoshi, can we move some of the TV's from the bed so that we 
can have sex?
Brock: Will you just let it go?!

>They both went upstairs and Mihoshi then turned on the lights. "Which series 
>you wanna watch?"she asked. "Hmmm... What about the one when the War God 
>defeats that Space Police?"

Ash: Wait, she wants to watch her own death?
Michelle: Now, that's just weird.
Masato: Great!  Now their TV's can even see the future!
Michelle: Ah, the wonders of Washu...  They must have hooked the TV up to the 
time machine.

>he suggested. "Okay! ^.^" she said. She then inserted the tape. She then turned 
>off the lights.

Michelle: And began recording every movement they made!

>They both sat on the couch together. Mihoshi was so focused on the movie. Goten 
>then lightly (yes, again) placed his hand on top of hers.

Brock: Wow, even the author admits that it's déjà vu!

>Mihoshi then saw his 
>hand on
>hers. "Goten...." she said softly.

Michelle: Ah, the attack of the phantom softly!
Ash: But in Mihoshi's hands, nothing goes soft...
Masato: (slaps Ash)  Man, I'm going to have blisters when I go back to heaven...
Michelle: Don't worry.  I've got some ointment for that.  And other things...

>"Yeah......?" asked Goten. Mihoshi then 
>turned off the
>t.v.

Masato: Which one?  Maybe the four hundred and seventy three that LINE THE WALLS 
LIKE WALL PAPER?!?!  MAYBE ONE OF THOSE TV'S?!?!  (gasping for breath)
Brock: Hey, do you need a drink or something?  Sounds like that hurt.
Masato: tv... tv... tv...
Michelle: Masato has gone bye-bye, everyone.

>It was then pitched black in her room. Mihoshi then turned on her little 
>light lamp.

Ash: As opposed to her dark lamp.
Brock: (Goten) Hey!  I was trying to develop some pictures!
Michelle: CANDID photography, eh?  Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, 
say no more?

>She then removed her tanktop. Goten then stared at Mihoshi, who was only
>wearing her bra and her mini-skirt.

Masato: The TV miniskirt...
Brock: Okay, now you're just being vindictive.

>"Let's play a little game...

Ash: (Mihoshi) It's called bocce ball!
Masato: Kinda hard to roll the ball with so many TV'S IN THE WAY!!!
Brock: Don't make me get the hose, Masato.
Michelle: Yeah, Brock, get that shirt nice and wet!

>If you answer 
>the
>questions with the right answer.. Then I will do something.. Okay?"asked 
>Mihoshi.

Michelle: Could you be a bit more specific here, Mihoshi?
Masato: Are you going to jump out the window?  Shave Ryo-oh-ki?  Make a 
sandwich?

>"Okay..."answered Goten. "Okay.. #1: What is my full name?" she asked.

Ash: (Goten) It wouldn't happen to be Cindy Crawford, would it?  How about Aisha 
Clan-Clan?  Faye Valentine?  Kino Makoto?  Gods, please be Kino Makoto!

>"Hmmm... Uhh.. You never told me.. Uhmmm.. Oh, wait I think you did.. I know 
>it!It's uhh.. Mihoshi-sama Kuramitsu..,right?"he asked, hoping that was it. 

Brock: (Mihoshi) Actually, it's Emeril Lagasse.  But thanks for playing!  Bam!
Masato: Please enjoy your complementary soap!

>"Yes... It is!"
>she said. She then removed her shoes.  -: Oh, gosh... I'm not so sure what she
>is up to.. But whatever it is.. I hope it's something good!:- Goten thought.

Ash: Trust us, just keep answering the questions.  Otherwise, she'll throw that 
shoe at your head.

>"#2:.. What is Tenchi's parent's names?"

Michelle: Our apologies, it is time for the obligatory Holy Grail reference.
Masato: (Mihoshi) WHAT... is your quest?  WHAT... is the relative airspeed 
velocity of an un-laden swallow?

>asked Mihoshi. "Hmmmm...
>He never told me.. Wait.. Kiyone told me! It's uhh... Achika-Chan
>Masaki.. and uhh... Nobuyuki Masaki... I believe.."

Brock: And I believe that pigs make Ho-Hos in their trees at Antarctica, but 
that doesn't make it so!

>said Goten, not really 
>sure. "CoRReKt0!" she said,

Ash: Looks like someone's caps lock is malfunctioning.
Brock: Must be using WebTV.

>removing her ribbon from her hair. Her hair
>was now hanging around.

Masato: Stupid lazy hair...  Get a job!!

>"#3:.. Who created Ryouko?"

Brock: Well, when Ryoko's Mommy and daddy loved each other very much...
Michelle: Well, judging by her character, I'd say Microsoft.

>"Washuu!" he said,
>not having to think. "Wow.. How did you know that without thinking?" she asked.

Ash: He has no choice.  He does most things without thinking...

>"Hmmm.. I saw some blue prints in Washuu's lab..." he said.

Michelle: (Goten) Did you know that she was originally going to be a toaster?

>Mihoshi
>then removed her skirt. -:O.O;; What is she doing?

Ash: Well, I thought it fairly obvious, myself.
Brock: What does he think he's saying?  Is Kiyone Mabiki trying to learn to 
write HTML?

>Does she think this is
>a strip club or something?!:-Goten thought.

Ash: We can only hope so.
Masato: Well, that might have something to do with that "Kitty Kat Klub" sign 
that Washu installed last week.

>She then threw the mini-skirt
>to Goten.

Brock: (Mihoshi) Here!  Wash this!

>"#4!... Who are the people related to Sasami?" "Erhh. Uhh..
>Alot of people? ::laughs:: Uhmm.. Let's see.. Aeka, a.k.a. the bald fool
>XD.. Yosho.. Tenchi... Nobuyuki..

Michelle: No!  Wrong!  STUPID!!  YOU'RE SO STUPID!!!
Ash: Soon to include Trunks's extended family...

>Yosho.. I believe.. There's alot of people..
>I think....?" he asked, very unsure. "I don't really know either..

Brock: She's been living there five years now and still has no clue what's going 
on.
Masato: Well, twenty five years now.
Michelle: Good point.

>I just asked
>that question because I wanted to know too. Ahh, I'll give you credit for 
>that..."

Ash: What would she do if he got the question wrong?
Michelle: Make him put on a piece of her clothing.
Brock: Great.  Strip Truth or Dare.

>Mihoshi said removing her bra. Goten then stared at her breast...

Michelle: (Mihoshi) Goten, why are you staring at my left breast?
Brock: (Goten) I'm going to call it Muriel...

>"Uhh..
>Mihoshi, you're kidding, right?" he asked very unsure what her plans were.

Michelle: (Mihoshi) Yeah, I'm just doing this to torture you into being my 
mental slave.
Masato: Yup, she needs someone to think for her.

>"Nope, I don't think so..." she said, with a smirk on her face. "*sigh* What're
>you up to, Mihoshi?" he asked desperately.

Ash: Besides flushing your dramatic career down the toilet, he means.

>"Hmmmm.... What did Torankusu
>and Sasami did the other night?" she asked. "Hmmm.. Let's see..." Goten 
>thought.
>"Ohhhh, no...! We are not going to do that.. PLZ!" he pleaed.

(Masato, Ash, and Brock gape wide)
Brock: I have lost any and all respect that I may have had left for this author.
Ash: Do you have any idea how fast I would jump into that bed?
Masato: You and me, both!

>"...." Mihoshi
>then put on her clothes... "Well, I actully understand..

Masato: Well, could you explain it to us?!

>but........" Mihoshi 
>then
>was cut off by Goten's kiss.

Brock: Okay, I'm confused beyond all relief here.
Masato: Can I go home now?  Not an eternity of heaven can make up for this hell!

>Mihoshi then followed along. "AHH!! GOTEN!"
>Mihoshi yelled a bit. "WHAT?! You don't like me anymore?!" he said.

Michelle: (Goten) No, I just realized that I've spent about fifteen seconds more 
with Kiyone, so I'm going to go sleep with her.

>"Nuuuhhh! It's just... Well,.. Are you going to be heading back to Tokyo?" she 
>asked.

Masato: (Goten) Yes.  Now.  Before anyone can do anything else to destroy my 
soul!

>"I don't know... I really like staying here.. But I don't know if they would 
>let me
>stay. And.. my parents. Aww well.. They will understand I am old enough...

Ash: Excuse me?  Chi-chi and "understand" don't go together in a sentence.
Brock: He's been gone for twenty years now!  She probably thought he was dead 
and killed herself!
Michelle: She'd run there herself, punch him in the face, and drag him home 
herself by the hair with one hand!  Over rocky terrain!  Uphill!  In the snow!  
Running!  Full speed!

>I'm not *momma's little boy* anymore.." said Goten, sorta laughing. "::lol::
>Yeah, I guess! Hahaha! You can stay here with me.

Ash: You know, don't bother asking Tenchi or anything.
Masato: (Tenchi) He's not a hot chick who wants my hot man-chowder.  He can't 
stay!

>I will always be here for 
>you.You can probably work with me with the Galaxy Police! I'll ask." she said. 

Michelle: The reply from the office: No.  Nonononononononononono.  No no.  
Nononono. No, no, no, no.  Nonononononononononononono.  And, in conclusion, no.

>"Youwould do that... for me?! Wow! Thanks!"he said. "Hey, I am working 
>tomorrow!You can probably work with me tomorrow.

Masato: (Goten) Well, tomorrow, I was hoping we could have a lot of... sex...
Brock: I don't know.  Cousin It is still kind of tired from Sasami and Trunks.

>Ask Torankusu!" she said, a 
>bitexcited. "Okie!" he said.

Ash: Okie Taylor?
Brock: The Okie Fenokee Swamp?
Michelle: The Oakieland A's?
Masato: This wood smells oakie?

>
>-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>------------------------
>

Brock: Now, children, don't forget to follow the lines with your scissors!

>Well, that's the end of chapter one.

Masato: WHAT?!  MORE THAN ONE CHAPTER?!?!
Michelle: Kill me now.

>How was it? Was it okay?

All: NO.

>If you have any 
>comments
>about it,

Brock: Besides that it sucks large amounts of ass...

>please e-mail me at: Ikasu Pan@aol.com || And uhh.. I'm 11... XD!!
>

Michelle: Yet another argument for the existence of age-check systems.
Brock: Tipper Gore would love to get ahold of this sort of thing.  It'd catapult 
her crusade hundreds of years into the future.
Ash: The sense in which this is a real time machine...
Masato: Are we done?  Can I leave?
Michelle: I think so.
(doors open and group leaves the theater)

Reverse door sequence

	Outside of the theater, Masato is packing a mysterious suitcase that he 
didn't come with with clothes that he didn't bring, either.  He picks up a 
picture of the group that somebody took sometime and sighs, smiling.  As a bit 
of background music cues up for a touching anthem for his departure, Michelle 
walks on-stage, wearing a long, purple wig, a dress blouse and a poodle skirt.  
Everything goes silent, and Masato looks around, confused.  When he lays his 
eyes on Michelle, he wrinkles his eyebrows.
	"Okay, now that's really odd," Masato says.  "Michelle, what are you 
doing?"
	"What are you talking about, my lord?  I'm Ayeka, your fiancé!" Michelle 
says, smoothing down her hair and skirt.
	"Right, whatever you say.  You really don't look like you used to," Masato 
says.
	"Well, a lot can change while you're dead," Michelle replies nervously.  
"Now, why don't you stop worrying and come to bed?  I've got the whips, teriyaki 
sauce, pool cues, sardines, and highlighters.  All I'm missing is you!"
	"Michelle-"
	"Ayeka," Michelle corrects.
	"Michelle, this really isn't a good idea," Masato says.
	"But I'm your fiancé!  How is it not a good idea to have sex with me?!" 
Michelle asks.
	"Well, I'd like to know a few things before we actually do this.  First, I 
want a detailed list of everyone you've ever had sex with, verified by two 
witnesses.  I want a phone call from a licensed physician documenting a total 
sexual disease check.  You know, the usual; HIV, syphilis, gonorrhea, et cetera.  
Finally, I want a detailed list of the Isaac Hayes songs you've listened to over 
the past ten years.  Can't be too careful," Masato says.
	"Gods!  Take all the spontaneity out of it!" Michelle exclaims at him.
	"Hey, what can I say?  You don't have a fur-trimmed, see-through gown," 
Masato replies.
	"You'd be surprised," Michelle says.  Brock walks in from the workshop, 
covered with oil and bandages, wiping his hands clean.
	"Well,  I've finished the trading machine *again!*" Brock says, shooting a 
quick glance at Michelle.  "You have no idea how long it took me to find those 
new parts."
	"Well, I'd guess about two hours, give or take," Michelle replies.
	"Whatever you want to think.  I was just lucky you had some more of those  
screwy stamps lying around," Brock says.  Michelle gapes at Brock's stupidity.  
She only had so many reversed airplane stamps in her collection!
	"Now, I'm pretty sure this should work, so I'm willing to give it a go 
without any test subjects, Miss Animal Rights Activist," Brock says, shooting 
Michelle another mean glance.
	"Look, just because they're furry doesn't mean that they're any less human 
than us!" Michelle asks.
	"Well, they weren't going to be hurt," Brock says.
	"Why don't you ask them if they want to do it?" Michelle asks.
	"We do usually," Brock says.  "Psyduck couldn't tell us!"  The red Mads 
light begins flashing.
	"Look, we'll talk about this later," Michelle says, pushing the button.

Deep 251

	"Well, now that you've finished," Jesse says, still wearing the outfit 
from earlier, "We've finished doing the necessary upgrades to AMTV!  Misty 
should be all right by the next experiment, so Masato, you can go."  The faint 
sound of a car starting up can be heard from the Satellite end of the 
transmission comes across the speakers.  "Where the hell did he get a car?"
	"Dead Temp Agency sent it around," James says, still wearing his fluffy 
bunny suit.  "Part of the contract."
	"Well, keep their number in the book.  We may need him back sometime," 
Jesse says.  "Meowth, start running the AMV's!"
	"Sorry, but we didn't have enough memory on the machine to have the 
software *and* the videos," Meowth says.
	"Meowth, I am going to kill you if you don't think of something," Jesse 
replies cheerily.
	"Look, why don't we just make some crappy reality shows to pad out the 
schedule?  Then, nobody'll notice that we aren't actually showing AMV's?" Meowth 
asks.  Jesse considers the suggestion for a moment before her face lights up in 
delight.
	"Finally!  We can use my idea for Anime characters living in the same 
house for a year!" she exclaims.  "Until next time, my little hopips!  Push the 
button, James."

*Blip!*


And so ends another MSTing!  Gods, that was long!  This one was really fun for 
me, and I think that Craig and I will have to get together for another one 
sometime.  We're already looking for one that we both would like to do in TMFFA, 
so we'll get around to it eventually.  I'd like to thank Kiyone Mabiki for 
writing this fic.  This isn't meant to be an insult to you, merely a form of 
C&C.  And if you have a problem with my doing it, just write me or Craig, and 
we'll do something about it.  We did try reaching you, after all.  Anyway, 
thanks to Craig for helping me out here.  I probably wouldn't have been able to 
do this alone, or at least not as well.  I'll admit, the perversion factor did 
get a bit high at times, but it wasn't too bad, IMO.  Well, anyway, that's all 
for this time.  Later!

MST3K created by:
Joel Hodgeson

MST3K owned by:
Best Brains

Fic written by:
Kiyone Mabiki (Ikasupan@aol.com)

Fic MSTed by:
M.H. Torringjan (jmh6187@uncwil.edu) and Craig "Black Seventeen" Norris (lardalmighty@netscape.net)

Keep circulating the Fanfics!

>"Hah! Of course you're bald! I saw
>you remove your hair once!" yelled Ryouko. Aeka then suddenly dropped. Her hair 
>dropped off as well. -:I am sooo himuliated!:-,
>thought Aeka. Everyone gasped. "See?! See?! I TOLD YOU SHE'S BALD! AHAHAHAHA! 
>YOU GOT MODED, PRINCESS!"

(c)2002 M.H. Torringjan/Craig "Black Seventeen" Norris