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Memoirs of an Otaku

by: Tom Servo

	I don't own Sailor Moon, even though I should but stupid Naoko refused to 
give me the rights. I do, however, own myself. And I am very proud of this. If 
anyone with any connection to Sailor Moon is willing to give me their position, 
then I'd be very willing!
	I'm Tom Servo. One day, I was walking along the hallyway on the Satellite 
of Love when I was transported to the world of Sailor Moon. I was very 
disoriented at first, but once I gathered my bearings, I was completely at home.
	I wanted to meet Sailor Moon. I first thought that I could go to her 
house. Then, I decided to go to the arcade where she and her friends hang out. 
When I got there, I walked inside, and all of the Senshi walked up to me.
	"Hi, I'm Serena!" said one of them. Damn! I thought, Couldn't I at least 
get transported to the original version? Now I'll have to call them Scouts.
	"Hi, I'm Tom!" I said in return. The rest of them introduced themselves to 
me, and I decided that it would be a fun thing to introduce the fact that I knew 
their secret identities. So I told them. They didn't take any offense or 
anything about it.
	"Oh, darn!" they said. "Well, how do you know?"
	"Well, I'm from a world where everyone knows about you," I said. "Of 
course, I probably know more than anybody."
	"Oh, cool!" Serena said. "Do you have any special powers?"
	Before I could answer, a monster broke through the front door and started 
attacking people. After everyone had either run away or had their energy sucked, 
the Scouts transformed. I couldn't help but make fun of the battle as it 
happened.

>Monster: It's time that someone took you out, Scouts!

Tom: (monster) So, where you wanna go for dinner?

>Moon: Well, it's not gonna be you!

Tom: (Moon) I'll probably take myself out! (himself) No! I didn't mean it that 
way!

>Rest of the Scouts: It'll be us!

Tom: What in the?

>Moon: What are you talking about?
>Rest: The Nega-verse offered us more than you could.

Tom: A higher paycheck usually doesn't justify turning evil!

>After a couple of minutes, Moon was trapped by the monster and the other 
>Scouts. She was out of energy, and she was about to be killed.

Tom: Okay, I think that it's about time that I helped!

	As I stood there, I thought about what to do. Then, in a flash of 
inspiration, it came to me! "Super Transformation Saying!" was the only thing 
that I could think to say. As soon as I said it, I was wearing a Senshi's fuku 
with all of the Scouts' colors on it. I didn't really think that it was stylish, 
but it was all I could do.
	"Mega-kill, destroy!" I yelled out. From my hands flew a beam of light 
that illuminated everything. When the light had died down, only Sailor Moon and 
myself stood in the arcade.
	"Oh, the perfect end to a perfect day!" I said.
	"Not quite," Sailor Moon said, beginning to take off her fuku.
	"What are you doing?" I asked.
	"Preparing for the promiscuous sex scene," Sailor Moon said.
	"All right," I said blandly. It wasn't as if I hadn't done that with other 
superheroes after saving them. Wonder woman, yeah, I tagged that! Akane, you 
bet! Man, I even went for Polly Esther! All of the Knight Sabers, and then I 
went for Felicia after changing her from a Darkstalker to a human.  I even got 
all the chicks from the Tenchi series!  Ryoko was my favorite, but that's a 
different story.
	Anyway, after that, we lived happily ever after, destroying the whole Nega-verse and having more promiscuous sex.

Fin~