Top Ten anime chicks ever!
New and improved!
By Craig "Will work for dates" Norris and M.H. "Dating Sim" Torringjan
Editor's note: comments in italics are added by me, while Craig's analysis and comments are in plain print.
M.H. and I have seen a lot of anime. As a result, we have seen a lot of luscious anime chicks. Of course, arguments about which one is the best were soon to follow. So, in an effort to settle our differences, we put our heads together and came up with our list of the ten best anime chicks of all time. This is actually the second embodiment of this list, taking into account titles from the past year or so that weren't around for the first list, and adjusting the placement of some of the chicks to account for our changing tastes.
We used very strict criteria in judging the candidates (and believe us, there were a lot of them).
Don't listen to him. We just stared at screencaps for a couple of hours and found the ten we drooled over the most. Many buckets were filled, and it was good.
Looks were important, but also the personality and their potential as a girlfriend/wife were taken into account. These selections represent the créme de la créme of the hundreds of anime chicks we have seen. Only the most jaw-dropping, eye-popping, and heart-melting girls made the cut. So, without further ado, here is the list. The only list.
Well, the only recent list. The older list of ours can be considered apocrypha now, according to the wishes of the Council at Nicaea. I don't know if this list resembles anybody else's list, but if it does, we're still paying off student loans. If you sue us, you'll only get pocket lint and a sock.
The ten greatest anime chicks of all time.
10. Rena Lanford (Star Ocean EX)
Possibly the least known girl to make our list, Rena does not get nearly the respect that she deserves. Sure, she was cute in the game (in a pixellated sort of way), but she was given a total cuteness makeover for the anime. She's small and snuggly, and her elf ears add a bit of exotic flavor. Even when she's angry or jealous, her cuteness can't help but show through and paralyze us all. Even though she's involved in a mission to save the universe, she seems to want nothing more than a quiet domestic life, which anyone would love to be a part of.
And the best part of Rena is that in the game you can finish it with her single, leaving a wide open chance for you to get to her! Assuming you were a pixelated anime-esque character in a video game, anyway. Hey, it's better than her ending up with that dork Claude! He can have Precis or Opera or Leon for all I care.
9) Chii (Chobits)
Dell, Gateway, and Microsoft may have all captured our bank accounts, but only a computer as cute as Chii could capture our hearts. Her childlike innocence and unbelievable cuteness make her a true standout in the ever-expanding realm of robot chicks. Her long flowing blond hair and her petit figure acts as a mirror for her inner vulnerability, and just beg for a nice big hug. Despite her ignorance of the world, her capacity for affection knows no limits, and it would truly be a treat to have that affection bestowed upon us.
On yet another of my side-notes, I've got a friend who's working on programming one of these uber-cute robot chicks. And my name's first on the ordering list. So, eat that, all you other anime-loving pathetic-with-women dorks out there!
8) Yumi Omura (Chobits)
Chobits is the only series to have two chicks make our list, and boy does it deserve it. Yumi is a dream girlfriend for anyone, regardless of tastes. She’s bubbly without being annoying, and she seems to be very comfortable with her generous body proportions. In fact, she often calls attention to her breasts before anyone else does. She’s a good cook, and her kindness drives her to display those talents for her friends. But the real kicker is that she seems to be very forgiving of perverted behavior. For M.H. and myself, that alone makes her very desirable indeed.
It's probably a good thing that high-schoolers aren't really built like that, or a lot of anime fans would be getting into a lot more trouble.
7) 7. Shion Uzuki (Xenosaga)
An exemplary mixture of beauty and brains is a precious find, indeed, and there must be a place made for it on this list. Without consciously intending to, she never fails to call attention to her beauty, highlighted perfectly by her braids and glasses. Her friendliness and warmth in the face of uncertainty increases her appeal to the highest levels. Not only does her intellect and sweetness stand alone, but it helped to beget one of the hottest android chicks this side of Major Kusanagi. So, whether you intend to enjoy her by herself or have her construct another partner to complete the love triangle, it would be hard to pass up this quiet beauty.
There hasn't been a chick in an existential sci-fi action video game anime that looks this good yet! If the second game had looked more like this, I'd have enjoyed it a lot more!
6) Faye Valentine (Cowboy Bebop)
There’s no denying the sexiness of this bounty-hunting bombshell. Her sparse wardrobe more than shows it off regularly, and she uses it to her advantage whenever possible. But what seems to get lost in all that creamy white skin is her emotional vulnerability. Sometimes her aura of toughness obscures the fact that she struggles to find her place in a future she had no time to prepare for. The result is a magnificent balance between a take-charge attitude and a desire to be comforted. Curvy, confident and complex, she has effortlessly collected the bounty on our hearts.
I feel it is my duty to mention that Faye did, in fact, come in first place in the swimsuit competition by just not wearing one; an interesting solution to a problem that's perplexed women for ages. In all probability, though, the rules will be changed for future competitions as such to prevent similar misuse of the lack of rules. To the great dissatisfaction of we judges.
5) Naru Narusegawa (Love Hina)
To stand out in a female dorm with half a dozen other great chicks, you have to be special. Naru has a dynamic personality that sets her a cut above the rest in the Hinata Inn. Though she is doggedly independent, her desire to succeed on her own cannot obscure her secret desire to share her life with someone. She can get a bit violent at times, but only because of her modesty and because she is so intimidated by the idea of being in a relationship. Even though she seems frigid and unapproachable at first glance, it doesn’t take too long for her real warmth to shine through and light our hearts afire.
And you know, I'd be willing to brave the Naru punch (tm) to get even a glimpse of the leaf bikini. That dork Keitaro doesn't know what he's missing out on...
4) Mizuho Kasami (Onegai Teacher)
Even if you keep watching the skies, it will be a long time before you lay eyes on such a prize as Mizuho. Her honesty and femininity complement her beautiful curves and kind face, making her the very personification of every male student’s fantasy. Her deep violet eyes are sublime in their beauty, and show a heart that is ready to open itself completely to the one she loves. Utterly captivated, we smile along with her happiness and sympathize with her sadness. This lovely lady from the final frontier swims in our thoughts as we look to the stars.
Despite a weak showing in that travesty, Onegai Twins, she managed to maintain her place in the top five with the five minutes she had in the beach episode. Also, the fact that she's an alien only goes to prove that there's nowhere on Earth that you can get a woman like that.
3) Aoi Sakuraba (Ai Yori Aoshi)
Her devotion is so strong that she spent nearly her entire life studying to become the perfect wife for the man she loves. Despite objections from her own family, she refused to be torn from him. That is the kind of deep love and devotion that every man desires to receive. Of all the anime girls that we've seen, few have shown the depths of their caring quite as much as she has. Though her shy and demure nature is often at the forefront, her inner strength and determination to keep her love alive blaze like a fire whenever separation threatens them. Aoi is the complete package: beauty, loyalty, caring, sweetness, and class.
If you want to try to pry her off of Kaoru's arm, you'll need one of the lead crowbars we've got for sale in our new merchandise page! It's heavy, it doesn't bend, and it'd work really well to hit Kaoru over the head afterwards! Only $19.99!
2) Ami Mizuno (Sailor Moon)
Schoolgirls come and go, but in the end our thoughts always drift back to her. As the gold standard for all shy, bookish schoolgirls in anime, it's only natural that she has a lot of admirers. Not only does she have a face that's cute as a button, but her intellect means having an intelligent conversation while you look at it. While not nearly as physically developed as her senshi counterparts, her slight figure radiates a delicate sweetness that always makes me wonder why Ryo didn't come back to see her more often. That's why millions of fanboys now pay her the attention she so richly deserves.
Years of resentment towards Ryo have before led me to hastily call for his slow demise. Upon further consideration, I've decided that I actually still want him dead, and nothing has changed at all. Please, help me to bring a swift end to his reign of indifference.
1) Belldandy (Ah! My Goddess)
There are very few ways to describe a goddess and do justice to her. Of course, the word "perfect" comes to mind, and Belldandy matches it more closely than nearly any mortal could. Despite her desire to be dedicated to one man, her kindness and protective nature transcends that constraint and touches all those around her. Her completely unselfish nature would compel her to sacrifice everything to protect those she loves. She represents everything good and pure in the world, and is wrapped up in a package of divine beauty that would answer the prayers of any lonely guy. Congratulations, Belldandy; the dust has settled, and you stand alone at the top of our list, and our hearts.
With Belldandy finally getting a series of her own, Craig was finally able to convince me to give Belldandy the top spot on the list. Because there's only one thing better than a sweet, cute goddess with infinite devotion to her man, and that's a sweet, cute goddess with infinite devotion to her man and 26 episodes. Finally, we have an agreement on the top chick, and nobody has to get a broken rib or a bruised cheek.
And thus ends our list of the best anime chicks. It's a shame that some of our favorites still couldn't make the list, but if you're going to have a competition, you've got to have losers. To those of you who didn't win, just remember that you may not be winners on our stage, but you'll always be winners in our beds.
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