ELF PRINCESS RANE
This anime needs decaf
Review by: Craig “Think Big Think Small Micro Machines” Norris
Length: 2 episode OAV
Genre: Comedy, fantasy
Watched: All, subbed
Anyone out there into archaeology? The thrill of poring over ancient texts to learn more about civilizations gone by. The euphoria of uncovering artifacts that provide windows into the culture of a long forgotten people. The rush of fleeing for your life from a giant boulder rolling down a narrow corridor. Those of you who know what I’m talking about should probably look away, since this anime will probably make you want to vomit. As for the rest of us, prepare for a wild and hilarious ride.
Plot synopsis: Gou Takarada is a young and somewhat clueless treasure hunter who seeks the treasure of Salamander, but keeps running into dead ends. That all changes one day when a small elf girl named Rane appears before him. Now, Gou is convinced that Rane will lead him to the treasure of Salamander. However, Rane thinks that Gou will lead her to the Treasure of the Four Hearts. And what exactly does the bizarre Yumenokata Foundation have to do with any of this? And why does the guy with weird blue hair keep talking backwards?
Artwork: The problem one usually encounters with an anime that is frenetically paced is that the screen often becomes overloaded with imagery. This anime is no exception. Flailing limbs, multiple explosions, and a cacophony of exaggerated expressions are all hurled at the viewer at breakneck speed. These images are all capably rendered, but damn, do they pop up quick. I recommend getting a pair of polarized sunglasses to help protect your eyes from the pretty colors.
Music: The music is average. None of the tracks are cause for excitement, and pretty much typify the quality for a really short comedy OAV. There’s really nothing more to say here. So I’ll fill some space by presenting the first verse of the “Weird Al” Yankovic classic, Dare To Be Stupid:
Put down that chainsaw and listen to me
It's time for us to join in the fight
It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys
It's time to let the bedbugs bite
You better put all your eggs in one basket
You better count your chickens before they hatch
You better sell some wine before it's time
You better find yourself an itch to scratch
You better squeeze all the Charmin you can while Mr. Wipple's not around
Stick your head in the microwave and get yourself a tan
Talk with your mouth full
Bite the hand that feeds you
Bite off more than you chew
What can you do
Dare to be stupid
Characters: Boy, we got us some real crazies here. First and foremost there’s Gou, whom I believe to be the long-lost brother of Excel. He’s always jumping the gun and talking faster than other people can keep up. He also appears to be fairly dumb, which invariably translates into humor. His life changes with the arrival of Rane, who is a Barbie-sized elf girl who appeared to Gou as he was falling off a building. Rane has entered our dimension in order to find the Treasure of the Four Hearts, and she thinks Gou is the one who will lead her to it. Unfortunately she has a hard time communicating with Gou, since her language sounds like really strange and random phrases to him. Mari, Gou’s neighbor, is one of the few people who support Gou’s treasure hunting quests. Even more than that, she has a major crush on him, despite the fact that everyone tells her to do better (which she probably could just by turning over some of the rocks in her backyard). Another elf appears before Mari; a witch named Lin who wants to kill Rane for some reason. Fortunately for Rane, Lin frequently forgets that. nehT s’ereht Takuma, ohw si dnoces ni dnammoc fo eht Yumenokata Foundation. eH sah a ycnedent ot klat sdrawkcab rof on nosaer, etipsed eht tcaf taht eh si ylhgih detacude. eH sah nellaf ni evol htiw Mari, ohw sneppah ot eb sih s’ssob rethguad. Gou also has six sisters, all of whom are identical. Mizuki is a shrine maiden, Natsuki is a lead investigator for the Fire Department, Haruki is a chief officer in the Yumenotaka Foundation, and Kazuki, Yuhki, and Saki are all members of the band The Natures. This cast is probably one of the weirdest going, and there’s really no telling what any one of them may do at any moment. It’s all volatile, like a huge bottle of nitro glycerin; one little shake, and they all could explode in your face.
Plot: Frankly, who cares? This anime is all about Gou, Mari, and everyone else engaging in goofball antics. There appears to be some connection between the plans of the Yumenotaka Foundation and the treasures that Gou and Rane are looking for, but the OAV ends before any real link can be established. The plot certainly accomplished one thing: it left me wanting to see more. However, even the end of the second episode explained that the third would only go into production if the fans supported it. Unfortunately, I guess they didn’t. Therefore, this OAV is a totally unfinished product. Or maybe the voice actors all got so overworked that they bludgeoned the writers. Either way, enjoy the humor, not the plot, since it is heavy on the former but light on the latter.
CHICKS!: Not since Shichinin no Nana have their ever been as many identical chicks in the same anime. I’m speaking of course of Gou’s sextuplet sisters, all of whom are slender pink-haired sirens. They do have a tendency to get hostile at times, so I would study them thoroughly so as not to confuse them; calling one by an incorrect name strikes me as something that would infuriate them. Mari is the bespectacled childhood friend who seeks a budding romance with Gou, and the only thing standing in her way is the fact that Gou is a lamebrain who wouldn’t know a come-on if it sat in his lap. Mari loves to bathe, and she is seen doing so more than once, much to my delight. Rane and Lin are typical for elves: long flowing hair, pale milky skin, and those oh-so-cute ears. Problem is, they’re both around six inches tall. But they make up for their height deficiencies by initiating a particularly delicious scene in which they kiss. I don’t know if any of you readers have ever seen a pair of elf chicks kiss before, but I must say it is a truly spiritual experience. Now, if they were full-sized, naked, and covered in honey the scene would have been far more fulfilling. But hey, I’ll take whatever I can get.
Overall: This anime’s pace is a full sprint, madly dashing from one punch line to the next. If you find it hard to keep up, don’t feel bad; I had to rewind it several times in order to fully grasp what was gong on. Actually, I take that back; it is impossible to fully grasp what is going on in this OAV. Still, there are plenty of jokes, so those looking for a good laugh will be very entertained. And very out of breath after this very hyper hour.
IN A NUTSHELL
+ Redefines random humor
+ Don’t understand? No problem!
- Unfinished
- gnidaeR sgniht sdrawkcab evag em a ehcadaeh
Rating: 6.5/10
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