HAPPY SEVEN
I’m glad *somebody’s* happy through all this garbage
Review by: Craig “Unhappy Seventeen” Norris
Length: 13 episodes
Genre: Magical girl, comedy, supernatural
Watched: All, subbed
Magical girl series are sort of like a junk bond; it’s a high risk, high reward scenario. When they’re good, they can be fan favorites for generations (Sailor Moon being the perfect example). When they’re not so good, they can be used by bulimics to assist in their unfortunate purging habits. This recent addition to the genre has definitely left me with a somewhat vomit-like taste in my mouth.
Plot synopsis: Throughout her entire life, Amano Sakogami has had horrible luck that has left her miserable. Her school’s Better Fortune Research Organization club senses something amiss, and discovers that Amano is actually possessed by a Magatsugami, monsters that feed off misfortune and cause terrible things to happen to those possessed. After removing the Magatsugami, it is revealed that the Better Fortune Research Organization is just a cover for the group’s true identity, the Happy Seven, spiritual warriors who use the powers of the ancient gods of luck to fight the Magatsugami and other evil spirits.
Artwork: Aside from a handful of the Magatsugami designs, nothing about the artwork was very noticeable. A blending of normal and SD animation was attempted in several scenes, ranging in success level from mild to utter fail. Transformation sequences and fight scenes were ho-hum at best. Backgrounds and character designs were nothing above standard in nearly all cases. I was not impressed with the artwork, and believe me, that’s not the last thing I wasn’t impressed by.
Music: Eh, it’s alright, I guess. I wasn’t that enthused about it myself, but there are two or three fairly decent songs on the soundtrack. At least it seemed like this anime actually tried with some of the songs, whereas the rest seems like a black hole of effort and thought.
Characters: I don’t know what these seven are so happy about, since it doesn’t take a genius to figure out how weak their characters are. Let’s start with the lead characters, and work our way down to the bottom of the barrel. Amano is just about a carbon copy of Usagi Tsukino in nearly every conceivable aspect, including her hidden powers that could either save or destroy the universe and her predictable crush on the dashing male lead. Speaking of whom, Kikunosuke plays the role of the gold-plated hero with perfect hair and shiny teeth, whom all the girls are in love with, and is the central focus of the powers of the luck gods. His character basically made me want to worship a god of a different type; the Porcelain God. Long may he reign in all his resplendent white glory. Now lets move on to the Happy Seven and their less than stellar resumes. Kuriya usually steps up as the leader of the Happy Seven, and is the least quirky of the personalities, all of which can reduce her to one word: boring. Okiku is the self-proclaimed idol of the group, and can often be found charming her male schoolmates for her own amusement, which can also reduce her to one word: slut. Tamon is normally a reserved girl who doesn’t speak up very often, but when she transforms into her warrior form she’s a take-charge ass kicker type. Sort of like She-Ra, only cornier. Mahiru is the staid, emotionless member who has an inexplicable fascination with fish, and even fights with a fishing rod. I understand the Bass Anglers Sportsman Society, the North American Fishing Club, and Trout Unlimited are all suing her for defamation of character. Miku is the school nurse and club advisor, whose main asset is her adult wisdom and patience. At least according to the show it is, but her actual value to the viewer is her more physical assets, and little else. Mina and Nami are anemic grade school twins, but when transformed they have boundless energy. I believe they are represented by the god of sugar. The villains are a bit less of a disappointment, but that’s not saying much. Kokuanten is some sort of evil goddess who had her powers sealed away somehow that apparently isn’t important enough to be revealed. Even the voice talents of Kikuko Inoue couldn’t make her interesting (not Inoue-san’s fault, since you can’t spin gold from straw). The puppet master behind all the evil schemes is the evil student council president, the diminutive Kuki Tomoya. He is so blinded by evil ambitions that to call him one-dimensional would be paying him a compliment. The Happy Seven have behind-the-scenes helpers as well. Kuan is the technology specialist who constantly works on new machines to help detect and trap or destroy spirits. She was probably named Kuan because the name Egon doesn’t fit well with a female character. Shoujo is a dog spirit who takes human form and assists in tracking spirits with her sensitive nose. It makes me wonder: while in human form, can a dog spirit lick her own [Ed. note: We’ve decided to end the section here. After all, that whole hentai review site idea fell through a long time ago.]
Plot: Person with problem. Person possessed by monster. Needlessly long and recycled transformation sequence. Fight monster. Win. Smile and be happy like nothing ever happened. Believe me, it’s not nearly as exciting as it sounds. For a longer series, you can almost forgive the monster-of-the-week trap, but come on! It’s 13 episodes! And what was the big finish for a series that, for all intents and purposes, was a drawn-out after school special? Some idiot stood up in the board room and said, “Hey, I’ve got it! Let’s kill people and almost destroy the galaxy!” Way to twist the plot into a pretzel there, Shyamalan.
CHICKS!: I honestly don’t have the energy to go into great detail about chicks that I really don’t want. So, I will limit my discussion to the two whom have slightly piqued my interest. Miku seems like the front-runner of the bunch because of her womanly figure and because she’s a nurse. And, as we all know, Japan long ago banned ugly people from admittance into nursing schools. In fact, if anime is any indication, Japan banned ugly people from doing a lot of things. Guess I won’t be moving to Japan anytime soon. Kokuanten is an easy choice merely because she is an evil goddess. Now, my preferred goddesses are normally pure and compassionate, but I have to admit that I likes me some evil now and then. Throw in her affinity for bubble baths, and we might just have ourselves a winner! So that makes one win and 161 losses. I know one anime that’s not making it to the postseason.
Overall: Let this series be a lesson to all aspiring anime directors out there. Pick a tone and stick with it, give your plots at least a spark of originality, and make sure at least one of the main characters is worth giving a shit about. Do that, and you will probably come up with something that is at least halfway decent. Disregard this advice, and you’ve probably made the sequel to Happy Seven. If that is the case, the gods of luck will not have mercy on your soul.
IN A NUTSHELL
+ A few decent songs
- Artwork not up to current standards
- Uninteresting and worthless characters
- A plot that a retarded cockroach could have come up with
Rating: 2/10