HE IS MY MASTER
Now even being nice isn't mandatory for getting cute maids
Review by: Craig "Fetch Me My Dinner!" Norris
Length: 12 episodes
Genre: Ecchi comedy
Watched: 1-12, subbed
They say admission is the first step towards recovery, so I'll start with that. I am addicted to scantily-clad maids. And now I see that my addiction is becoming a tremendous burden. After all, it pointed me toward this little gem of a train-wreck of an anime, and prevented me from stopping myself from watching it, even as my logic and connoisseurship of anime begged me to.
Plot synopsis: After becoming fed up with their household, teenage sisters Izumi and Mitsuki make a bold decision, and run away from home together. Desperate to find some way to support themselves, they answer the ad of a man named Yoshitaka, who is seeking maids to tend to him and his sprawling estate. However, before she realizes his true intentions, Izumi has racked up millions of yen in debt to Yoshitaka, and is forced to work as his maid to pay him off. But just because she has to call him "master" doesn't mean she'll be as submissive as Yoshitaka wants.
Artwork: I certainly wasn't impressed by the animation, especially the character designs. The whole point of the show seems to showcase the supple bodies of Yoshitaka's maids, so they (Izumi in particular) are given all the right curves in all the right places. Unfortunately, the faces look kind of blocky, and contrast sharply to the smooth lines of their bodies, so the character designs really don't succeed. And that's not even considering Mitsuki's pet alligator, Pochi, who looks less like a reptile and more like an amorphous glob of green pudding. Even someone who has limited experience with anime is bound to recognize how flawed the animation is.
Music: First of all, the same few melodies get recycled throughout all the episodes. A soundtrack that relies on a few key songs is never that successful. Second, the songs it relies on aren't that good to begin with. The opening and closing themes are overloaded with thick, sappy vocals, and the other music is all phoned-in keyboard tracks that even a musical director for a porno film would be ashamed to take credit for. The soundtrack is just another of the many weaknesses that make themselves apparent throughout this anime.
Characters: One thing that an anime with even the slightest romantic undertones must have is likeable characters. This show had twelve episodes to make me give a damn about any one of them, and it didn't even bother trying. First there's Izumi, who sees herself as strong-willed, proud, and independent. However, in reality she is very easily manipulated, and more often than not bends to the influence of others. Usually the person manipulating her is her own sister. Mitsuki seems to be able to take command of any situation, and often sets up elaborate plans for her own personal amusement. She hides her cunning behind a friendly disposition, and sees no one as an enemy; just someone else to control. Yoshitaka is probably the worst of any of them. He's nothing more than an asshole who gets people to do his bidding by taking advantage of their weaknesses to their fullest extent, and has enough perverted energy that, if harnessed properly, could power Times Square from now until the ball drops. He never considers anyone's feelings and likes to wield his money and power, holding it over the heads of those he sees as beneath him. Just when you think he can't be any more of an asshole, he does something even more depraved and despicable. In fact, henceforth in this review he shall be known only as Asshole, because someone that deplorable does not deserve to be addressed by his proper name. Pochi is Mitsuki's pet alligator, and is the main reason she and Izumi ran away from home; their father wanted him taken away. Pochi usually minds his own business, except when he sees Izumi in one of the sexy outfits designed for her by Asshole. Then he madly dashes after her and has his way with her. The show is not exactly clear what that "way" is, but from what I saw, it could very well be *the* "way." Which would mean that monsters raping cute girls is no longer confined to disgusting hentai. Be afraid. Anna is a girl that attends Asshole's school, and as the result of a huge misunderstanding, becomes romantically obsessed with Izumi. She even becomes one of Asshole's maids just so she can be closer to her. Normally I admire a cute girl who shows such affection for someone of the same gender, but she does become quite the pest. In fact, all the characters are nothing more than pests, and the show would have been much more successful if everyone had been replaced by sock monkeys.
Plot: As I said before, the main point of the show seems to be flashing maid undies. So there are no situations that don't involve copious amounts of fanservice. Any semblance of a real plot doesn't rear its ugly head until well past the halfway point, and even then the show is too far gone to save. And at the risk of spoiling the series (though I don't anticipate that anyone would actually *want* to watch this anime), I must comment about the ending. I was hoping that some kind of character growth would occur, or some kind of life-altering epiphany would be reached by one of the characters, or at least something would happen that would make me feel as though I hadn't just wasted five hours of my life. And I got NOTHING! The characters stay the same! The situation stays the same! Everything is returned to how it was at the beginning! Nothing makes me madder than an anime where nothing happens. And you wouldn't like me when I'm mad! BLACK SEVENTEEN *SMASH* ANIME! RAAAUUUUUGGHH!
CHICKS!: Well, Asshole's maids are kind of cute, but in the back of my mind I couldn't disregard the fact that they were middle schoolers. Really great middle school chicks (like Rei Ayanami and Ami Mizuno, for example) can transcend their age and make anyone forget what the word "statutory" means. Unfortunately, even though I was bombarded by panty shots, cleavage shots, and hot maid-on-maid body rubbing, none of the chicks piqued my interest enough to see past their years. After all, I'm not a complete asshole like *some* people I know.
Overall: I thought Hanaukyo Maid Tai was the gold standard for maid-laden animes that were painfully thin in the plot department. But, compared to this sorry excuse for an ecchi comedy, Hanaukyo Maid Tai seems like Crime and Punishment. And, in this case, the crime is being addicted to scantily-clad maids. The punishment is He Is My Master.
IN A NUTSHELL
- No likeable characters
- Aggravating plot
- Production values are lacking
- Assholes should *not* have maids!
+ Still not as bad as Eiken
Rating: 2/10
Return to Index