IDOL FIGHTER SUCHI PAI

The bottom of the barrel just got deeper



Review by: Craig “Texas Hold’em Warrior” Norris

Length: 30 minute OAV
Genre: Mistake
Watched: All, subbed

Okay, let’s review. What kinds of games have been transformed into anime? Fighting games? Check. Role-playing games? Check. Side scrollers? Check. Strip mahjong games... Wait, strip mahjong? Come on, there’s no way that a strip mahjong video game would ever, ever be turned into an anime, right? Right?

...Right?

Plot synopsis: The Legend of Pai states that the magical mahjong tiles can grant any wish. In order to prevent the tiles from falling onto the hands of those who would use it for evil purposes, Suchi Pai tracks them down and destroys the monsters who possess them. I think. I can’t really decipher much of a plot here, folks. It *was* a mahjong video game that inspired this, after all.

Artwork: One of the pluses of this OAV (in fact, the only plus) is the vibrant artwork. Character designs especially are very eye-catching. Each of the characters that is seeking the sacred mahjong tile (you know, I don’t think I’ll ever get used to saying that phrase) has a distinctive costume that makes them highly memorable on a purely visual level. It may be the only thing that is worth remembering about the characters, but at least it’s something.

Music: The vocal performances given in the closing song are kind of cute, but even they couldn’t mask it as vapid bubblegum j-pop. As for the rest of the OAV, there’s not much in the way of music to be had. I was very disappointed in the audio aspect of the OAV. I noticed that would be a trend concerning just about everything else, as well.

Characters: Only a few minutes were devoted to developing each of the five girls who are after the mahjong tile. With only that much time for each character, they come off as flat and insignificant as... well, a mahjong tile. There’s Suchi Pai, of course, who transforms from a mild-mannered schoolgirl into a stick-wielding magical girl. If she wasn’t campy enough, there’s an alien bunny who likes to strip people, a magic-using pop idol, a maid who transforms into an S&M queen, and a super-strong cyborg who wishes she was human. On top of all this is the current monster keeper of the mahjong tile, a slinky half-naked catgirl. If I didn’t know better, I’d say that the main purpose of this OAV was to explore every single cosplay fetish in the world. For a few minutes each. I’ve seen more character development in gravure idol photoshoot videos.

Plot: Plot? It’s 30 minutes of five people going after a mahjong tile. So wake me in 30 minutes. I still have no clue what the purpose of this OAV was. If it was an infomercial for the game it was based off, it wasn’t very successful, since I had absolutely no desire to play it after I saw the OAV. If it was designed to spark interest in a longer series based on the same concept, it failed miserably, since if I never see anything like that again, it will be too soon. There’s nothing much of substance here unless you’re either really high or really horny.

CHICKS!: As stated before, there’s more costumes than characters, so you’ll find something to gawk at. Whether it be whips and leather, a bowtie and cuffs, camo pants, or a frilly idol dress, there is something pleasing to the eye for almost all tastes. Especially for me, who couldn’t take his eyes off the catgirl. The chicks are really the only reason why I believe anyone would ever consider watching this. Unless you’re so into mahjong that you actually find some hidden value to this that I’m just not getting.

Overall: Wow, what a spectacular waste of time this was. It makes me wonder exactly what types of other video games are going to wind up getting turned into anime. If strip mahjong got the nod, it appears that the sky’s the limit. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to conclude this review now and save some vitriol for Maddenball Z.

IN A NUTSHELL
+ Pretty good artwork
- Based on a mahjong game
- Atrocious excuse for a plot
- Based on a mahjong game
- Irrelevant characters
- BASED... ON... A... MAHJONG GAME!!!
Rating: 1/10



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