KIDDY GRADE
This kiddy definitely does *not* make the grade
Review by: Craig “Lipstick on the Collar” Norris
Length: 24 episodes
Genre: Action
Watched: 1-24, subbed
This title was a very exciting prospect when I first picked it up. The leading characters were cute chicks, there was lots of space and ground combat, and very interesting weaponry and abilities were showcased by a cavalcade of different characters. Every raw ingredient was present for the show to become an instant classic from my viewpoint. That being said, I only have one question: Why was I so bored by it?
Plot synopsis: The Galactic Organization of Trade and Tariffs (GOTT) is responsible for overseeing the financial stability of the entire galaxy on behalf of the ruling powers, the Nouvlesse. With many seeking financial autonomy, many conflicts are begun, and it is the responsibility of the GOTT to resolve these conflicts, forcefully if necessary. That is the purpose of the ES members: elite agents with special abilities that respond to volatile situations. Two such ES members, Éclair and Lumiere, have misgivings about the motivations of GOTT and the Nouvlesse, and through their investigations, reveal the true nature of the organization they so proudly served.
Artwork: First of all, I would like to applaud this series for containing numerous scenes set in space, and not feeling the need to resort to in-your-face CG. It’s refreshing to see once again that all that is needed for good animation is a pen, some paint, and a clear piece of plastic. Even disregarding the return to roots approach, the animation is pretty good, though not cutting edge. Character and mech/vehicle designs are decent, and action scenes flow well. Sometimes on-screen colors clash, as outfits and hair colors are anything but subtle (even taking into account that green and purple are fairly standard anime hair colors). Forgiving the hectic spectrum, the artwork is fairly high quality and should be at least palatable to just about everyone.
Music: For a series based around a lot of action, I was expecting some more action-packed tracks. Unfortunately, even the opening and ending numbers don’t offer too much to get excited about. In fact, the soundtrack is about as bland as that of most romance anime I’ve seen. The soundtrack just kind of slogs along, trying to keep pace with the action, and failing every step of the way. And the random switching between Japanese and *heavily* accented English (also a problem in the voice acting) did not help the cause. Even taking into account that no soundtrack will ever approach the standards set forth by Cowboy Bebop, I was still hoping for so much more than what was given. Yes, the tracks are far from painful to listen to, but as a complement to the show the soundtrack failed in its mission.
Characters: One reason why the series does not work too well as a member of the action genre is that the characters seem overly angsty. Éclair, for example, has issues with her past that a tag-team therapy session with Sigmund Freud and Dr. Phil would not even be able to work out. On the outside she is very upbeat and optimistic, but she more often than not struggles in coping with the truth, and even her own identity. Her abilities give her super strength, and her weapon of choice is lipstick that doubles as a whip. Lumiere is not much better in the self-awareness department, but she is more quiet and brooding about it. She believes that women should be elegant, and thus disapproves of Éclair’s often brutish and headstrong actions. She enjoys wine, and insists on consuming a glass before implementing her ability: accessing any electronic network or machine in the world. I find that strange, because drunk hacking seems like it would be counter-productive. Armbrust is a stabilizing influence in the show, with no emotional baggage to speak of and a calm disposition that is a breath of fresh air from all the angst. He is an auditor for GOTT that accompanies Éclair and Lumiere on many of their missions. Sometimes it is not clear what side he is working for, but in the end he always lends the two a helping hand. He is never seen without his large briefcase, which carries anything one could ever expect to use. Sort of like a more streamlined version of Nabeshin’s afro. Eclipse is the chief of GOTT who is universally respected but sometimes disdained. She often knows more about a situation than she will tell to her agents, and as such she risks alienating them at times. There are five other two-person teams of ES agents, all with different abilities suited for different situations. Explaining them in detail is not necessary, as their personalities are fairly apparent after their first 30 seconds of screen time. I really wish the characters were (I can’t believe I’m saying this) shallower, as that would allow one to more thoroughly enjoy the setting and the circumstances. Instead, it becomes overladen with personal drama that overshadows what the series was really about.
Plot: The show started off slowly. The first half or so was all about getting to know the characters and the GOTT and all the politics behind everything. It was actually quite boring. Then, in the span of about four episodes, the show went from boring to confusing as all get-out. Not because of the familiar plot problem of too-much-too-fast, but because nothing is explained thoroughly enough. Events that seem to be overly convoluted and elaborate are constantly set into motion, and all the characters seem to be okay with it. And, of course, pure-bred Earthlings (the Nouvlesse) are portrayed as complete dicks. As an Earthling, I can’t say I disagree with that portrayal, but I don’t appreciate it being waved in my face for 24 episodes. Yes, I know I’m a dick! So shut up and let me get back to my anime!
CHICKS!: Because of their personalities, none of the chicks seem to be of very high quality. The two main characters, Éclair and Lumiere, shouldn’t be considered hot property because of their propensity to drag down the mood with their personal problems. Éclair looks decent enough, but she’s got some major issues that will take several degrees in psychology to understand. And Lumiere is noticeably underage, which makes me wonder how the hell she got so her hands on so much wine, and where the hell her supplier was back when I needed him in high school. Some of the other ES members are pretty nice looking too, but once again, their personalities severely augment their appeal. I can’t say I’d willingly pick one if I had the opportunity, and considering there are about a dozen chicks that make regular appearances, that’s a real shocker.
Overall: I wanted to like the show. I wanted to believe that any anime that had hot chicks, cool weapons and space combat would at least be moderately entertaining. But alas, I was wrong. The show was a disappointment in almost every conceivable way, and is pretty much nothing more than a waste of 24 episodes. Compared to others in its genre, Kiddy Grade falls short of success by several strides. And the ultimate injustice of this is, even though Gonzo decided to make 24 episodes of this, not one new episode of Cowboy Bebop has yet been made. Get a clue, people!
In a Nutshell
+ Nice artwork
- Lackluster soundtrack
- Too much angst
- Confusing plot
- Even more confusing characters
Rating: 4.5/10
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