NINJA SCROLL
Belch, scratch your crotch, and get ready for the ultimate guy anime
Review by: Craig "Guttural Grunting Noise" Norris
Length: 90 minutes
Genre: Action, senseless violence
Watched: Dubbed
This was one of the few anime titles that was recommended to me by my brother. Since he has about ten times more porn videos than anime videos, I was a little dubious as to the overall quality. As it turns out, however, my brother's insatiable lust for smut and gore pointed him towards a truly enjoyable anime.
Plot summary: In feudal Japan, a team of ninjas is wiped out by a mysterious warrior. The lone survivor, Kagero, is saved by Jubei, a ninja for hire. Jubei and Kagero them both find themselves irreversibly entwined in a political struggle that threatens to destroy the Japanese government, as well as force Jubei to face a powerful adversary from his past.
Artwork: The effort really shows. The character designs are a far cry from the typical feudal warriors, including a man who can reinforce his own skin to be impenetrable, a perpetually naked woman with control over snakes, and a hunchback with a wasp's nest in his hump. The action sequences are often short, but very well done. The sword fights are wonderful, with Jubei demonstrating his capability as a swordsman on several occasions. The only flaw I can see in the animation is the excess amount of blood. Sometimes when someone incurs a wound, not only will several gallons spew forth, but it will do so at such a velocity as to rival a pressurized fire hose. While entertaining in its own way, it is certainly unnecessary and out of place.
Music: To be honest, there's not that much music to speak of. Most tracks are simple mood-setting pieces, with no real uniqueness. Sometimes the lack of music is beneficial, the awkward silences contributing to the mood. However, as a soundtrack, the score is very sparse and unimpressive.
Characters: There are a diverse array of characters to be had in this film. Jubei reminds me of Spike Spiegel with a sword. He has a very reckless but self-assured manner, which is sometimes eclipsed by a sense of justice. Kagero comes across as very cold, but not by choice. She forces herself to be distant to others because she is host to a poison that can kill instantly anyone who gets "close" to her. The old man who constantly knows more than he tells, Dakuwan, plays the role of a sadistic Yoda (in both looks and mannerisms) who constantly puts Jubei and Kagero in jeopardy for his own personal edification. Despite this, he is not at all unlikable. The movie also showcases a motley 
group of adversaries to oppose Jubei, called the Eight Devils of Kimon. The roster is as follows: A tattooed woman who fights with snakes while in the buff; a monstrous man with stone-like skin and a huge double-bladed sword; a blind swordsman who slices more efficiently than a cuisenart; a Quasimodo look-alike with control over wasps; a homosexual who fights with fine thread that he electrifies; a darkly cloaked man who moves through shadows; a woman who makes living bombs of her victims; and finally, an impossibly muscular man who can regenerate himself when injured. The interesting abilities that these characters bring to the table are intriguing to say the least, and alone should be reason enough to give this movie a try.
Plot: This tale of revenge and political struggle for power is fairly common fare, but the movie pulls it off very well. It doesn't make the political aspect too convoluted or thoughtful, focusing more on the Eight Devils going after Jubei and the general all-you-can-eat buffet of ass-kicking that ensues. This is definitely a movie to watch when you're in the mood for lots of blood and little required brainwork to keep track of things.
CHICKS!: In a movie like this, where there's more blood loss than in most major metropolitan hospitals annually, the focus is obviously not on pretty girls. However, Ninja Scroll still manages to offer up a few. Kagero, despite her stand-offishness, is quite beautiful, compounded by the fact that we actually get to see her naked. The fact that anyone who sleeps with her is destined to die reflects my sentiment toward women in general: look, but don't touch. Sakuro, despite a noticeable scar on her face, also is quite nubile and attractive. However, she has a very vengeful and jealous personality, again keeping in line with how I see most women. The snake woman, Benisato, is perpetually naked, which is great considering she's pretty hot. Also, the nakedness is presented almost casually, not at all in a blatant fancervice-y way, and seems to integrate seamlessly into the plot itself. I still don't think I can claim seeing poignant nudity in an anime, but this film definitely moved me a few steps closer.
Overall: If you like football, strip clubs and World War II documentaries on The History Channel, Ninja Scroll is your kind of movie. It serves up a smorgasbord of violence and bloodshed with testosterone-encrusted flare that can only be appreciated by the machoest of the macho. Beyond that, it offers a concise plot, interesting characters and enjoyable visuals that all work together to create a pleasant movie experience. So make some popcorn, dim the lights and grab the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition and prepare for a truly male cinematic adventure.
IN A NUTSHELL
+ Smooth, detailed artwork
+ Unique characters
- Threadbare soundtrack
- Unrealistic blood-spewing
Rating: 8/10
Return to Index