NAUSICAA OF THE VALLEY OF THE WIND
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Review by: Craig "I *Majored* In This!" Norris
Length: 2 hour movie
Genre: Environmentalist propaganda
Watched: All, dubbed
I'm going to do something a little different with this review. I'm not going to bother discussing the artwork, or the music, or the plot summary in those neatly organized categories you've become accustomed to seeing from us. I'm not going to objectively discuss the merits and shortcomings of this film in my usual professional tone. I'm not even going to dwell on the presence or lack of chicks. Instead, I'm going to merge the entire review into a single category. And that category is:
WHY I HATED THIS MOVIE:
That's right, Hayao Miyazaki, your movie made me want to vomit in my own mouth. The more of it I watched, the angrier I got. And it wasn't the result of bad dubbing or overzealous editing, either. The very concept of the film, as well as the way the main character dealt with it, was so appalling to me that I even now cannot fathom the amount of disbelief that would need to be suspended to appreciate it. Your innovative fantasy worlds may have captivated me in such films as Spirited Away and Howl's Moving Castle, but you cannot pull the wool over my eyes with this one, Mr. Director Genius. You tried slipping this one past the wrong environmental scientist. You're in *MY* world now!
However, let us depart from my field of expertise at the moment and discuss the title character, Nausicaa. In discussing her character, we must first ask ourselves what makes a character truly great. The most important trait of a memorable character can be debated from now until the Cubs actually win a World Series, but I think I speak for everyone that a character cannot succeed unless he or she can be identified with on some level; whether it is because of a flaw we sympathize with, or a quality we ourselves share with him or her, or even if it's due to the character possessing a trait we wish we had. That being said, Nausicaa is none of that. She is a nauseatingly flawless and inexplicably adored walking and talking shrine unto herself, as far distanced from humanity as the giant bugs she tries to save it from. I don't even think she so much as sneezes during the entire film. It is impossible for anyone to relate to perfection, simply because nobody's perfect. Even diamonds have flaws; in fact, that is how they are recognized as diamonds. Something as clean and sparkling as Nausicaa might as well be a worthless piece of glass. I personally cannot root for someone whose spirit has not been at least a little soiled by the rigors of life.
Speaking of soils, I'd now like to vent regarding my real complaint with this film. The setting of the film is a post-apocalyptic world that was nearly destroyed by a catastrophic war 1,000 years ago, and is now being overrun by a toxic forest and associated giant insects that apparently appeared suddenly after the war. The reason for the rapid evolution of this inhospitable terrain is (drumroll, please)... soil contamination. Not a very glamorous cause of global devastation, is it? It's even more disappointing when you understand the effects that soil contamination actually has on plants and animals. I could go into a lengthy dissertation about the mechanics of soil contamination, but I feel it would be better to refer you to this article, so that you may hear it from the horse's mouth (note the seal in the top left corner of the page). It's a rather oversimplified explanation, but you get the idea. Yes, soil contamination is harmful, and can have severely deleterious effects on the environment and the plants and animals that inhabit it. I notice this every time I drive through the State Hazardous Waste Site-rich terrain of northeast New Jersey. However, as bad as soil contamination is, there is one thing it does not cause: rapid and thorough mutation of flora and fauna. It appears that Miyazaki relies so heavily on establishing fantastic settings that he has forgotten how to do research. If he had checked even a marginally credible book on soil contamination, he would have quickly realized that even the most severe cases of soil contamination don't have the drastic and far-reaching consequences that he conveyed in this film. Granted, the film was made in 1984, when environmental regulation was just emerging from its infancy, but even then regulatory agencies had enough of a working knowledge of the effects of contamination to dismiss the idea of a global apocalypse due to pollution of natural resources.
M.H.: Hold it, dude, you’re going to just mark off the entire film because a science fiction anime movie decided to get a little bit out-of–this-world? And just because it treaded on your toes, it automatically goes on the shit-list? Just let me talk about this part. While I agree that the plot had major flaws that require you to suspend large amounts of disbelief, I don’t think that as egregious an offense as Craig does. I mean, I’ve watched anime where DNA makes you do magical things, where people inexplicably have magical powers, and where dead people get revived to blow up aliens in a very messy way. If I can suspend disbelief for those, I’ve got no problem with a little bit of giant bugs and radioactive dirt. However, I will admit that I very likely would respond in the same way if an anime series told me that they could create antimatter just by slamming stuff together (Angels and Demons, anyone?) and maybe that you can change water into alcohol (Full Metal Alchemist, anyone?), or some other physically and chemically important law was breakable, so I don’t blame him (see my rant in the plot section of the review of DNAngel). Still, he could take it a bit easier on the movie.
Hey, shut the hell up, this is *my* review!
Look, do you want to take this outside?!
I carved out your gall bladder last time we took something outside, now sit down and shut up.
Once again, this all goes back to the farfetched efforts of the title character (you may want to stop reading here if you don't want the ending "spoiled," but you might actually be better off). Not only does she solve the mystery of why the toxic forest is so toxic, but she uses some sort of intangible karma to satiate the anger of the giant bugs that, for all intents and purposes, are totally unstoppable. Not only that, she throws in a resurrection to boot, and emerges as a legendary hero. By the end of the movie she is practically a living goddess who has humans and giant bugs alike falling to worship at her feet. And she does it all wearing that nauseatingly pure "aw-shucks" smirk on her face.
If it helps, I agree that Nausicaa was a Mary Sue.
Thank you, now go to hell.
Basically, this movie is like "Waterworld," only with dirt (and, thankfully, without Kevin Costner's lousy acting). It paints an unfounded and overblown picture of the consequences of industrialization, and went against pretty much everything I have learned in college and my experiences in the environmental field. Even the most heavily dreadlocked, tree-hugging hippie will cringe at the inaccuracies prevalent in this film. Heck, even beleaguered former USEPA Administrator (and former Governor of the toxic haven that is New Jersey) Christine Todd Whitman would shake her head upon viewing this film. Yes, it's anime, and yes, it's not a documentary. But that doesn't mean we have to swallow it.
So, now that my lambasting of this film is complete, you may be asking me, "Hey, Black Seventeen! How come I don't see no Golden Ass at the top of this page?" Well, as much as I detest this film, I cannot deny that it does not have enough fundamental flaws to warrant a Golden Ass. The artwork is passable, and the proper amount of focus is placed on the characters and the plot (although that was a major pitfall right there; I would have much more thoroughly enjoyed watching the giant bugs go on a two-hour rampage from which no human escaped). Plus, a lot of effort was put into this film, even though that effort was misdirected. Perhaps the movie is less like "Waterworld" and more like "Plan 9 From Outer Space," in that its director poured his heart and soul into the film to create a truly epic production, and failed miserably every step of the way. Luckily Miyazaki has since redeemed himself (and how!), so it's not necessary to dwell on this movie as a cornerstone of his career. Nevertheless, it's still a stumbling block that sits squarely in the middle of his road to anime immortality.
IN A NUTSHELL
+ Miyazaki's expertise
- Black Seventeen's expertise
- Little Miss Perfect
Rating: 3/10
I say 6/10.
That’s it! We’re taking this outside!
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