Vampire Hunter D
Even the old school needs an underachiever
Review by: Craig "Who moved my Vampire Hunter?" Norris
Length: 80 minutes
Genre: Action, horror
Watched: Dubbed
Getting anime for free is always very special. So, I was understandably very excited to see a copy of Vampire Hunter D under the Christmas tree with my name on it. The first chance I got, I sat down and watched it. After I finished watching my gift, I was reminded of the old adage: It's the thought that counts.
Plot summary: After trespassing on the land of the vampire Count Magnus Lee, Doris Lang suddenly becomes the object of his hunger for blood. To protect herself, she asks the half-vampire hunter D to be her bodyguard. After accepting, D must brave mutants and monsters, as well as the Lee family, in order to keep his client safe.
Artwork: In a word, unimpressive. And that's even taking into account that the film was made in 1985. The character designs themselves are not so bad, but the animation is very clunky and drab. There are several instances where the in-betweeners looked like they were sleepwalking through the project. The action sequences are uninspired, and sometimes even painful to sit through. It may have cut the mustard during the Reagan administration, but it's definitely showing its age now.
Music: Again, nothing worth mentioning. The music isn't really specific to the mood of the series, and it even seems sometimes like whoever arranged it did so a week before the deadline, madly downloading whatever generic instrumentals they could find on Kazaa. The music is not bad, it is just misused. In fact, the score is one of the more enjoyable parts of the film. Perhaps, to garner the greatest appreciation for the film, one was meant to watch it with eyes closed.
Characters: Most of the characters were actually quite flat and unimaginative. Even the main character, D, seemed to have no edge to him at all (unless, of course, you count the edge on his sword). Magnus Lee is the typical oily and evil villain, perpetrating everything solely for the purpose of his own 
amusement. Doris' character amounts to little more than the whiny damsel in distress, and her little brother might be even worse. Lamika, Count Lee's daughter, is the haughty, stuck-up bitch that every royal family seems to crank out expeditiously. Again, perhaps this was revolutionary in 1985, but then, so was Nintendo, and look how far we've come since then.
Plot: Well, it has one, and that's about it. At the very least it doesn't leave many loose ends and flows in a linear fashion that is easy to follow. It's the typical "boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy goes to the castle and kicks large amounts of ass" setup we've seen so many times before. The plot seemed to take a back-seat sometimes to showcase the artwork, when it really should have been the other way around. The plot is tolerable, but does little to raise my opinion of the film.
CHICKS!: There are some shows that, no matter how bad they are, you can still take solace in the fact that there are lots of cute chicks around. Take Hanaukyo Maid Tai, for example. Unfortunately, no such incentive exists for this movie. there are only two chicks to be seen throughout, and they're both substandard. Doris is actually quite comely, but she's too clingy and too often seems like she's acting out of desperation. She has a tendency to get carried away with her emotions too much, which grates on my nerves several times. Then 
there's Lamika, who I didn't like at all because she's so close-minded and stubborn. Plus, she has a huge forehead. Really, really huge. You could at least land a Cessna on it comfortably. The sparse, poorly-rendered chicks were but another entry on my long list of disappointments about this movie.
Overall: I had once heard this movie described as a classic of anime. I pray that that comment was in jest. Even considering the age of the piece, it presented nothing noteworthy, and certainly nothing that would warrant its classification as a classic. It's a good thing D was given second life with Bloodlust, because this film would have been a sad sendoff indeed. Instead of torturing yourself by watching D's first foray onto the silver screen, skip right to Bloodlust and save him the embarrassment.
IN A NUTSHELL
+ The birth of D
- Yucky animation
- Flat characters
- Mismatched and generic music
- 80 minutes that could have been spent watching Hellsing
Rating: 3/10
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