Development

Legal Disclaimers (my lawyer made me:)
Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi, Toei Animation, DiC,
Bandai, Mixxine and a lot more probably. Bottom line is: Sailor
Moon and it's characters are not mine so don't sue me. You should be
used to the disclaimers by now.
______________________________________________________________________
Finally! I hope this was well worth the wait. Oh, and this chapter
will probably be the only chapter that will be written in 1st person
perspective because I have decided to go back to 3rd person, since
it's so much easier to write. Hope that wasn't too confusing for
you.

D.C. al Fine
(3) Development
Lady Jupiter (LadyJupiter@SailorJupiter.com)

"As many of you know, Christmas is just around the bend..."
the activities director reminded them. He was a middle hight,
slightly overweight man about late in his middle ages with thining
gray hair. His glasses seemed too heavy and perched on the edge of
his nose, on the verge of falling off and shattering on the tiled
floor. He had that familiar face that some people have, an ordinary
pair of eyes above an ordinary nose and a boring mouth. He was a
common man. Maybe it was for that reason, he had a common name.
Everyone called him Tanaka-san
Tell me something I don't know already. Here I was, Makoto Kino
sitting in a room full of people with holiday plans. When I looked
to the side of me, I saw Rei and that other girl with the blue hair,
Ami listening attentively to the activities director. I don't know
how they do it. I tried to pay attention at first, but his voice
kept droning on and on and on and on and...well, it was just hard to
pay attention. But then, looking on the other side of me, I saw
that I wasn't the only bored one. There was Shinozaki, leaning on a
table, paying more attention to his fingers than to the words of
Tanaka-san. As I looked closer at him, I saw that he was manipulating
some small colored object in his hands. It was a rubik's cube.
He'd better not ask me later what this meeting was about because he
should have been listening, I thought.
"...volunteers to help with cooking." Now that caught my
attention. I looked up and saw a few hands raised. There were
doctors who could find some time off from their busy schedule,
nurses taking a break, and volunteers like me filled in this tiny
staff cafeteria room.
"What did he just say?" I whispered to Ami.
"Ara, Mako-chan, you should pay more attention." Ami chided
me. She was about the only person who I would allow to chide me.
She then whispered, "Tanaka-san was asking for a few volunteers to
help in the kitchen for the Christmas-bash."
Right away, as if by instinct, my hand shot up. I was sure
everyone was staring at me if they noticed how quickly I
volunteered. What can I say? I love cooking.
"Kino-san, what is your area of expertise?" Tanaka-san asked
me, in front of everyone. That was one good thing about him. He
knew your name even though you weren't the most important person
in the hospital. He had a pencil in hand and was obviously
taking notes on who would do what.
As the blood rushed to my cheeks, I felt everyone's eyes on me.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I should have just sat still
and kept my hand down.
"Mako-chan makes the best cookies!!" Rei shouted, trying to
rescue me, but I only felt my cheeks turn redder.
"Okay, I'll put you down for baked goods. That includes cookies
AND cake." He jotted a few words down onto his piece of paper, then
frowned. "Are you sure you can handle the large task?"
"Sorry Mako-chan, I'd help you, but I'm going to do the tree
this year." Rei whispered to me with determination.
The activities director scratched his head, then looked down at
his pad. When he finally looked up again, he was speaking to the
young man leaning against the table. "Shinozaki, was it you who did
the pastries last year?"
"Hai, it was I."
I was more than surprised. I never pictured Shinozaki as the
type who would be in an apron and slaving over a hot oven. It
wasn't that he was a man and men don't usually sign up for tasks
like those, but he looked more like the type who would be in charge
of the music or entertainment. Yet, who ever said somehting about
his pastries being good? Maybe they had no choice than to let him
bake. After all, I wasn't there last year.
"As I recall, they were mouth-watering delicious. How about you
and Kino-san team up this year with the pastries? I am sure both of
you have a few tips and tricks to learn from each other."
Tanaka-san asked with a hopeful look on his face.
"Alright, I will." The tone he used to say those three words
sounded like a surrender. I was particularly offended. It
certainly wasn't that bad to be baking with me. After all, I make
the best pastries in the world! Well, according to Rei-chan of
course.
Rei-chan had slipped in between Ami-chan and me. She poked me
with one of her long fingers and had a sly grin on her face. "How
fortunate of you. Working together in the kitchen."
"What do you mean, Rei-chan?" Maybe she had been breathing in
too many fumes from the hospital supply room.
"Come now, I know what's happening between the two of you. Even
Ami-chan can see the chemistry between you guys."
Ami-chan didn't hear that, or she might have been ignoring it
and paying more attention to what was being said by Tanaka-san.
"What are you talking about?!" I whispered, hoping no one could
hear our conversation. There was nothing worse than having people
gossip about you in the hospital.
"Don't you see it?"
"See what?"
Rei shook her head. "The way he looks at you when you're not
looking."
"How can I possibly see how he looks at me when I'm not looking
if I'm not looking?" I said logically to Rei.
Putting a hand on my shoulder, Rei-chan nodded. "When your back
is towards him, he looks at you as if you were something special.
He gets that 'I love you so much it hurts' look on his face."
I covered my mouth to try to stiffle my giggle. "Rei-chan! You
are insane. Don't you see how much we fight and argue? Maybe you
are reading him wrong. Maybe the look he gives me is the, 'I'm
gonna do everything I can possible to bug you' look?"
"I don't think so," Rei replied, "I know these things."

"You are supposed to put the wet ingredients together first." I
instructed to the man beside me. He merely glanced my way, then
continued with what he was doing. It wasn't as frustrating as I
thought, working with Shinozaki in the kitchen. It was a good thing
the room was so large or else we would have torn each other apart by
now. So far, we worked on our own seperate projects. I made my
lemon-merangue mini-pies while he made chocolate cupcakes. But now,
the large cake to be made had to be a joint effort. There was
obviously no way neither of us could pull it off alone in the amount
of time we were alotted.
"You do it your way, and I'll do it my way."
Never have I met someone as stubborn as he was. Gripping the
large mixing bowl in his hands and stirring all the ingredients, wet
and dry, together furiously, he was quite a sight. The once white
apron given to us by the kitchen hands that he was wearing was now
spotted with a motley array of red cherry filling, yellow lemon
frosting, blue icing, and everything in between.
I must have been laughing because he put down the bow and
crossed his arms. In the process, he sprinkled smeared the flower
over his sleeves.
"I don't see what is so amusing." He arched an eyebrow at me.
"You should take a look at yourself in the mirror. You're an
absolute mess." I took this chance to grab for the mixing bowl and
started to mix it. Once again, I had control of the batter, much to
my liking.
He stepped closer to me and I gripped the bowl tighter. "You
know, I doubt you're any more cleaner than me."
"I probably am."
"You wanna bet?" He stretched his arm and ran his thumb over my
cheeks, to my surprise. I almost dropped the batter as he did
that. With his thumb in front of my eyes, he asked, "Now tell me,
isn't this shade of white a little too pale to be worn as make-up?"
Okay, so maybe he got me there. "Alright, fine, we're both
dirty. Let's just finish this up and go home. I want to take a
shower before coming back tonight."
"Why didn't you say so? We can easily pick up the pace." The
rest of that afternoon in the kitchen went by in a speeded blur. He
wasn't kidding when he said he could pick up the pace.

When I arrived at the hospital later that night, everything was
already in full swing. As I made it to the cafeteria where the
Christmas party was held, I started feeling as if I didn't belong.
Lonely faces who could not return home for the holidays, and were
too sick to leave the confinements of their room looked out at me
from their beds. I put on a cheery smile, tilted my Santa cap back,
and took a deep breath. Christmas Eve was not a time for feeling
sorry for yourself. I decided to make the best out of it, even if I
did have to spend it alone.
Rei was already there entertaining the younger children. Some
were in wheelchairs, while others were bald from chemotherapy
treatments. There was one little boy, on the outskirts of a circle
of kids, looking frightened. I softly made my way up to him and
tapped his shoulder after I stooped down.
"Hey there, why aren't you playing with the others?" I asked
him.
"They don't like to play with me." He said in a voice barely
above a whisper. He looked no more older than five. I wondered
where his parents were. They should be spending Christmas with him.
"I'm sure if you ask nicely, they will let you play." I looked
over at the group of kids sitting on the plastic mats, playing with
plastic blocks.
"I don't think my bicycle is coming this year," He said to me
instead.
"Why not?"
"Because Santa doesn't know I'm here." The little boy's eyes
were tearing over. My heart was practically breaking in two for him.
"Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. What did you say
your name was?"
"I can't tell you. You're a stranger."
"Okay then, I'll tell you my name. My name is Makoto. You see,
we aren't strangers now because you know my name." I introduced my
self. This little boy was pretty smart. I wouldn't have known not
to talk to strangers at that age.
"I'm Oko. Oko Utsumi." He said carefully. "Do you think Santa
will leave the bicycle on my front porch? I don't want the other
kids to see it and take it before I get home."
"I'll tell you a secret. Santa knows where every little boy and
every little girl is all the time. He has this electronic map that
pinpoints any little boy he wants. All he has to do is type in your
name, and he'll know where you are. It's the latest in technology,
I hear." I mock-whisper to him.
His eyes suddenly brightened up. "I'm going to tell the other
kids about that! They're scared that Santa might forget them too!"
Forgetting that what I told him was a secret, he scurried to the
group of kids on the mat and quickly joined in. I smiled as I
watched their wide-eyed innocence as Oko explained to them what I
told him.
I made my way to the refreshments table. Several of the senior
staff members were around the punch bowl so the minute I laddled the
punch into my paper cup, I headed for the end of the table where it
was less crowded. As I leaned sipped my punch, I noticed how red it
was.
Blood red color looked out at me as I looked in my cup. I
shivered as the memories swept over me. Was it already six years?
It seemed like only yesterday. Sometimes, I still have nightmares
about it. All the blood, all the terror. Just thinking about it
made my heart triple its beat.
"What are you doing here all alone?" A voice made me jump back,
and the Santa hat slid off my head and onto the floor.
The owner of the voice fetched it for me and I put it back on.
It was Shinozaki who scared the living daylights out of me. "What?
I'm sorry, I didn't hear you."
"I asked what you were doing here all alone? It's Christmas
Eve, you should have fun." He offered me some cookies from his
plate. I took a cookie I knew he baked. I have to admit, it was
pretty good.
"Have fun in a hospital? I think your punch is spiked." I
shook my head at him. "To tell you the truth, the hospital isn't
exactly my favorite place."
"Nobody likes the hospital." He stated. "But sometimes, you
just gotta be where you don't want to be."
"You got that right."
"I saw what you did with that little boy back there." He nodded
to the area Oko was sitting. "It was very nice of you."
"Well, I try to cheer at least someone up. I mean, it's a drag
to be spending Christmas here and not with your family." I knew all
too well how true that was.
"Oh, you don't know about him?"
"What about him?"
Shinozaki put his plate down and crossed his arms, much like a
doctor would. "He's fortunate to even see Christmas. According to
his records, he has Hodgkin's disease. I'm afraid this will be the
last Christmas that little guy will ever see."
That certainly dampened the mood. I felt terrible. Yet, if you
work in a place like this, you have to accept that some people check
in and never check out.
"But he's just a kid." I say softly.
"Most of them are. We take for granted how many Christmases we
spend with our families and we never realize it until it's too late
to do anything."
I was about to say something when a voice interupted.
"Hey you two! So that's where you guys were. I was looking all
over the place. They're going to start pinning the tail on the
donkey. Want to join in the fun?" Rei asked.
"That's okay. I'm a little too old for that. Besides, you
shouldn't trust me with the pin anyway." I decline.
Rei looked at Shinozaki.
"I'll join you later. I'll just finish off my cookies first."
Suddenly, Rei looked up and smiled. "Do you two realize what
you're standing under?"
I looked up. "Holly?"
She shook her head. "Mistletoe! You know the rules."
Both Shinozaki and I looked at each other and shook our heads.
"C'mon, you can't break the rules."
"Rules were meant to be broken." Shinozaki quoted.
Rei crossed her arms and tapped her foot. "I'm not leaving
until you two kiss."
Finally, I shrugged. After, I couldn't deny her of being late
to a game of Pin the Tale on the Donkey. I turned and faced
Shinozaki and inched towards him. Just inches from his face, I
realized how blue his eyes really where. In the background, I could
hear Rei shuffling away. As I was about to back off, since Rei was
gone, something stopped me. Why ruin a perfect moment? Even if it
WAS with Shinozaki.
I closed my eyes as I tilted my head. His lips touched mine,
gently at first, then with more pressure. He wasn't one of those
guys who just stood there not realizing that it took more to be a
good kisser. He tentively put his hands around my waist as we
kissed. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and flushing
them. I could also feel something tugging at the hem of my skirt?!
I broke off from the kiss and saw Oko tugging at my skirt. I
tried to erase the blush as I stooped down. "What's up, Oko-chan?"
"Thank you."
"For what?" I ask.
"You were right. My mommy brought my bicycle. She said Santa
left a note that said to take it to me in the hospital." He pointed
over to a woman who was conversing with one of the doctors.
"You see, you have nothing to worry about." I patted him on the
back and he ran off to play with the other kids.
When I stood up again, Shinozaki was still standing there,
looking dumbfounded. I felt the same. If Oko hadn't intervined, I
don't think I would have ever stopped that kiss. It felt so nice,
so right, so....wait?! What am I thinking? This was Shinozaki I was
kissing. My sparring partner, my arch nemesis, my...my...
"Um....I think," He stuttered as he ran his hand through his
light brown hair, "I think I'm going to go play Pin the Tale on the
Donkey now."
With that, he hurried off, leaving me wondering.

I was still wondering, three hours later while cleaning up the
refreshment's table. Most of the patients had returned to their
rooms, and the doctors were on duty again. That left only the
volunteers and a few nurses who were off their shift. Lucky me, I
always get stuck with clean up duty. But then, this was better than
sitting at home doing nothing.
"I'll finish it up. Why don't you go home?" A voice jumped
into my thoughts.
It was Shinozaki again. He always seems to pop up from no
where.
I shrugged, "No, I'm almost done anyway."
"That's why I said I'll finish up. Go home. It's Christmas
Eve, I could think of a few things you might want to do at home."
He started helping me collect the paper cups.
"I have nothing else better to do tonight either. Why don't you
go home?"
"Nothing better to do?! On Christmas Eve? You could be with
your family, decorating the Christmas tree, singing carols..." then
he stopped. I guess he noticed how I reacted to that. I didn't
mean to crush the paper cups. His eyes softened. "Is it something
I said?"
I smiled. "It's always something you said. You're a big
loud-mouth know-it-all."
"Am I?" He arched an eyebrow. "You should be lucky I'm such a
kind person. I'm going to ignore what you said right now and help
you finish up."
The two of us finished the task in ten minutes. As I started to
walk out of the hospital, he called out my name.
"Hey, wait up!" He jogged to me and tried to slip on his coat
at the same time. "Since you said you have nothing better to do,
and it _is_ Christmas Eve, how about we go take a walk?"
"Take a walk?!"
"C'mon, the night is young. Besides, if you're spending
Christmas alone-"
"Who said I was spending it alone?!" I suddenly exclaimed. I
could have sworn my pitch went up at least five notches.
"Well, I assumed-"
"Don't assume anything. Don't you know how bad it is to jump to
conclusions?" I snapped at him and starting briskly away.
Like a puppy wanting to play, he followed me. "Okay then. Since
*I'm* going to spend Christmas alone, how about taking a walk with
me? Besides, you did say you had nothing better to do."
"Why are you spending Christmas alone? What about your family?"
He crossed his arms. "Mom and Dad are probably at some seminar
in the Swiss Alps or skiing."
"Why-"
"They left me here for Christmas. Or rather, I didn't want to
go with them." He said it with such finality in his tone that I
didn't want to probe any further. Suddenly, his mood lightened up.
"So are you still up for a little walk?"
"Okay, why not." I finally agreed. Besides, what hurt could it
be?
At first, we wandered aimlessly around streets, looking at the
twinkling Christmas lights hung on various houses, dropping some
change into those charity buckets, but then I noticed that he seemed
to be leading the way.
"Where are we going?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"You're walking as if you're trying to get to a specific place
or something."
Shinozaki stopped and looked around. He ran his hand through
his soft looking hair and shrugged. "Maybe I am."
I didn't recognize this part of town. The darkness didn't help
either because it gave everything else a different look. The
streets were obviously deserted since most people would have been
home with their families. I'd bet we looked pretty pathetic. A
pair of no-life teens with no family during Christmas and wandering
the streets. It almost sounded like a plot for one of those O'Henry
Christmas stories.
"Follow me," He softly pulled my elbow. We walked at a faster
pace down a street, turned, down an alley, then through a couple
more alleys. I wouldn't know how to get out of this labyrinth if I
tried.
Suddenly, the pungent aroma hit my nose like a freight train. I
could still remember it as clearly as living day. That sanguine red
smell that would penetrate through your nostrils and haunt you in
your sleep. It was the smell of blood.
"Uh oh, maybe it was a bad idea taking the short-cut."
Shinozaki muttered under his breath. He stepped in front of me,
blocking my view of whatever it was he didn't want me to see. "Um...
maybe you should close your eyes. I don't think you'd want to see
what's up ahead. It's not suitable for your eyes. Just close your
eyes and hold on to me and I'll tell you when it's alright to open
them again."
"What is it?" I barely whispered. I could feel the color
draining from my face and my breaths shallowing.
"Looks like someone did a hit and run and dumped the poor
carcass in the alley." He explained, leaving out the gory details.
"A carcass? Of what?" A carcass?! Aren't they usually called
corpses?
"A dog, probably."
"Oh...a dog?" I hoped he didn't hear my sigh of relief. For a
minute, I thought it was going to be a dead body behind the dumpster
or maybe half a body. "No big deal, I can handle it."
We walked silently pass the carcass, as if making any noise
would awaken the stone cold animal. When finally the smell
disappeared and we were far away, we started talking again. We
talked about anything that came to our minds from the way the sky
looked, to the design of the clothes that were hanged outside to dry
above our heads.
The destination Shinozaki was looking for was finally reached
when we walked up to a promintory overlooking the calm and serene
sea. A lighthouse flashed its lights above us, but besides that,
everything was still.
"I like to come here once in a while to think." He offered, as
an explanation. He walked to the iron railings that kept people
from falling over and leaned on the top one. With the wind blowing
his hair and in the glow of the moonlight, he looked almost like a
ghost.
I followed him to the rail and stood next to him. Below us, the
soft swoosh of the ocean against the rocks were the only sounds. It
was incredibly quiet. Away from all the city lights and sounds, I
could actually hear my thoughts magnified a thousand times.
"So why is it that you're here and not at home?" He cut through
the tranquility.
"Because you dragged me here."
"I did not drag you here. I merely offered to take you on the
walk. No one was twisting your arm. Besides, you know that wasn't
my question. Why are you here instead of in a nice house with your
family unwrapping Christmas presents?"
In the back of my head, I knew that he would ask that question
if I agreed to take the walk with him. But inspite of that nagging
warning, I came on this walk anyway. If he took the time to lead me
here to this secluded spot which was obviously very close to his
heart, maybe I owe him at least a brief explanation.
"My parents," I began, "They passed away a couple of years
ago. That's why."
"But what about your relatives?"
"I don't have any."
He shook his head, "But that's impossible. You're under
eighteen. You can't live by yourself."
"And why is that? I'm fully capable of taking care of myself.
I can cook my own meals, I can wash my own clothes, and I live a
fairly decent life. I don't need anyone to take care of me." I
snapped at him, perhaps a little too forcefully.
"I can see that, but what about money? Who pays the bills?"
Should I tell him the truth? Or should I lie? "I inherited
money from my parents and it's in the bank, earning its interest."
He seemed satisfied with that answer since he stopped with the
prodding questions. But now, I was the curious one.
"What about you?"
"What about me? I live with my parents, at least a quarter of
the time. My father's a psychiatrist and he's more interested in
helping other people with their problems than me. My mother is his
secretary and assistant so she's pretty busy most of the time. But
don't think I'm depraved or anything. I get on perfectly fine on my
own." In those few sentances, he summarized his family life which
although admittedly better than mine, wasn't too inviting.
It was strange hearing this from him. I thought he would be the
tough guy type who used to play football with his dad when he was
younger, or maybe basketball. After hearing about his less than
perfect childhood, I saw him in a different light. He was like me
in much the same way. We were both pretty much alone. Only, I know
what it was like to have a loving mother and father to spend time
with, while he probably doesn't. Ignorance might not be bliss
afterall.
All of a sudden, I felt my shoulders covered by a warm
material. Shinozaki had taken off his coat and put it over me. I
looked at him questioningly.
"I'm not cold," I told him, starting to take the coat off.
He smirked, "What do you mean not cold? Your lips are
practically blue and look at your legs."
As I looked down at my bare legs, I _did_ feel a little chilly.
Goosebumps were all over my legs and they looked a little pale.
"What were you doing looking at my legs anyway?!" I questioned.
"I-"
"Ecchi!" All guys were the same.
He shrugged and leaned on the railing, "What do you expect? I
mean, who goes around wearing mini-skirts on Christmas?"
"Well, I expected to be in the hospital all night, you know how
warm it is in there. I didn't know some crazy guy was going to
suggest standing over a cliff. If you warned me ahead of time, I
would have worn the proper attire." I replied, dripping with
sarcasm.
To my surprise, he laughed. He threw his head back and let out
a whole hearted laugh. What nerve of this guy!
"Kino-san, you are incredible!" He remarked after calming down.
"How can anyone possibly keep up with you? Watching you is like
watching a savage electrical storm."
I wasn't sure if that was a compliment, or an insult. While I
was still standing there contemplating on my next reaction,
Shinozaki walked back and plopped himself on a bench. Funny, I
didn't remember a bench being there before.
"It looks like it's going to be a white Christmas afterall," he
said matter of factly.
I looked up at the sky and saw only the stars. The sky was as
clear as it was on the 6th day. "Snow? But there are no clouds in
the sky. How can there be snow?"
Not answering my question, Shinozaki leaned back and propped his
hands on the back of the bench. "Have you heard of a Christmas
story-"
A Christmas story? I've heard of many Christmas stories in my
lifetime, and I told him that.
"No, this one is different. It has a twist in the end."
Curious, I joined him on the bench.
"My mother told me this when I was very small. It was one of
the few times she told me anything worth remembering." He started
in a tone devoid of any feeling. "There was once a man who loved
his wife dearly. He wanted to buy her something special on
Christmas day, but was very poor..."

By the time Shinozaki finished, I was asleep. So much for
hearing the twist ending. Besides, in my dream there was a twist of
my own.

_____________________________________________________________________

Remember, in the next chapters, I will go back to third person
perspective. Hopefully, the next chapter will not take nearly as
long as this one.