Ohayo out there in Fan Fic land. I’m kinda new to this.
I have written fics before but I never posted them. This is gonna be
about two seasons. This might prove to be a tad long. Bare with it,
as the story progresses it might prove to be half as good as its
prodocessor. Alright you have heard enough about my plans. On with the
fic... Tabris Enterprises presents to you...
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Theme Song: "SuperModel" by Jill Sobule (Clueless Sdtk.)
E V A L E S S
Sex, Tunes, Popularity, Whatev!
"The Antithesis of a New Generation"
Shinji awoke from a fairly enigmatic dream. The first
thing his groggy eyes saw hovering over him was Asuka saying
"It’s about time you got up you idiot".
"Oh, it’s you Asuka" Shinji said groggily still.
"What the HELL does that mean, can’t you
appreciate that I went through the trouble of coming to wake you up
personally.
"I don’t hear any words of appreciation for your oldest
childhood friend".
"Ugh....thanks....let me sleep a little more".
"Hey get up you. It’s time to get up you dork" Asuka bellows as she
tears the sheets off of her friend. Asuka's face grows crimson as she
slaps Shinji due to the view she just got of his "lower abdominal
friend".
"You stupid pervert I didn’t mean t get that up!!" yells
Asuka.
"I..I can’t help it, it’s morning. I need to take a whiz or
something". Downstairs Yui was trying to have a polite conversation
with her husband but instead Gendo kept making sexual innuendoes towards
her.
"I’m always ready for IT, dear" said Gendo. Yui then commented how
much like Shinji her husband was. Finally Asuka and Shinji got out of
the house. "Hey isn’t a new student supposed to come today?" Shinji
asked.
"Yeah!" Asuka yelled,
"With this becoming the new capital it’s no
wonder so many people are moving here."
"Gee, I hope she has a nice ass"
said a panting Shinji as they ran down the street. Asuka only glared at
him. Coming on the other side of the block was a panting girl with
short blue hair and a piece of toast in her mouth.
"Oh crap, I’m late."
"Ugh I can’t be late for the first day." said the muffled girl as she
panted running down the street until... WHAM!!! She and Shinji ran
directly into each other, knocking them both to the floor. The girl
cluelessly rubbed her head with her legs gapped open giving the fallen
Shinji a pretty good view of her female undergarments. When the young
lady noticed this she promptly covered herself and got up and said
"I’m sorry I’m really in a hurry kid. I’m really sorry. Bie.
Bieeeeeeee!" said the girl as she ran away. "Who’s she calling a kid
she looks about my age." thought Shinji to himself. Asuka again groaned.
"WOW, so did you see her panties then?" asked Touji. The two had
finally made it to school and Shinji was just overly excited to tell
his friends about his morning rush.
"It wasn’t a good look really just
a lil’ flash." said Shinji slyly.
"Aww, I can’t believe that you’re the
one that has all the luck."
"Odd isn’t it?" said Ngumo. He was a tall
dark haired boy who had transferred to the class three weeks ago along
with his 'friend' Aoki. The only thing that anybody ever really noticed
about the two boys was the way they wore their uniforms. They both tied
there shirts around their abdomen so that there was a knot and there inner
shirts showed. Actually Ngumo usually wore his shirt open, much like
Kensuke,but Aoki who tied his religiously always would come by and tie
Ngumo’s for him. Professor Misato Katsuragi came speeding in her car.
Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke ran over to the window giving their teacher the
v-sign. Asuka and Hikari began to grumble and muttered something about
those damn three stooges and their lack of shame. After Hikari gave her
class orders (rather roughly too) the teacher bellowed
"Listen up dudes we got a new blue-hair babe today here to introduce
herself." The girl then spoke
"My name’s Rei Ayanami, how’s it hanging?" Shinji stunned stood up and
pointed. Rei then saw him and said
"You’re the jerk who was staring at
muh panties." Asuka then stood defending Shinji by saying "Hey, What do
you mean by that. You’re the one who was flashing em ya know." Rei then
shot back
"Who are you and why are you defending him? Are you riding
his BOLOGNA-PONY?" she said giggling. Asuka then pulled back and said
"We’re just really good child-hood friends. You SHUT-UP!" Kensuke then
blurted out "Hey Shinji I didn’t know you were getting it with Asuka."
"Umm may I please introduce myself?" said a pigtailed red-head girl.
"My name is Megumi, Megumi Ikeda. How’s it going guys?" Suddenly a boy
with blondish brown hair and a ponytail stood up and said My name is
Aoki Furisawa and I would like to personally welcome you to class 2-A.
I’m sure you will really begin to like us once you had some time to
adjust.
"Excuse me, but aren’t you a new kid." yelled Asuka.
"Shut up!"
Asuka said to a girl with long purple hair and two yellow cat-like
obstructions in her hair.
"Oh please, Akemi just because you and over
half the girls in this class and the whole rest of the school like the
homo-boy does not mean I have to be polite to him. "Asuka I wish you
would not say things that you have no physical evidence on." said Aoki.
"He doesn’t want any of the girls in here anyways. He’s to busy scoping
out his LOVER Ngumo."
"Asuka, Class That Is ENOUGH!" bellowed Misato.
Aoki then took the bubbly out of his hair and ran out of the class room.
"Someone go get him," said Misato. "I will, Ms. Misato," said the tall
dark haired boy. "Of course he would want to go comfort his lover.
"ASUKA!" said the teacher.
"Is it always this active in this class?"
asked Megumi.
"No this is pretty quiet." said Shinji. In the boy's
bathroom we see a different scene. A boy is crumpled in the arms of
another boy.
"I hate being different Ngumo." The boy is hushed by the
gentle caresses of his friend.
"Ngumo I..I uh really think you’re
great" The door opened but neither boy noticed.
"That’s nice but we should be getting back to class."
"Say I got sick and that's why I left the classroom so abruptly."
"Lie to Miss Misato? Alright, I’ll do it for you." His thanks was only
the soft kiss his friend gave him on his cheek. "Ngumo, where is Aoki?"
said the worried professor.
"His stomach started to to hurt so he went
home." Ngumo said defensively.
"Oh, so you to went to the bathroom so
he could get something sticky in his mouth, huh?" said a very obnoxious
Asuka.
"ASUKA THAT IS THE LAST STRAW, you will be getting a very
unfriendly letter to your parents and you have clean-up duty for a
MONTH! Is that understood Asuka!"
"Hai, Gomen nasai Sensai" Don’t apologize to me
you should be apologizing to the class for your disrespect and
disruptfulness, you should especially apologize to Aoki." He’s new here
and is only trying to make some friends." said a now very respectable
Misato.
"I’ll go to his house today." said Asuka.
"See that you do and deliver these bulletins while you are over there."
"Hai sensai!"said Asuka. Alright, class, now that we are done with today’s
parodies turn your computer terminal’s on said the teacher.
< You’re kinda cute. Do you have a girlfriend, or in your case,
boyfriend ? >
A message appeared on the screen of Ngumo. He looked around to see if
the sender would identify him or herself like he saw so many of his
classmates do. Gee, I hope it’s a girl or Aoki might get jealous, he
thought to himself. JEALOUS!, what am I thinking about I’m not like
Aoki.
< Look I said you were cute are you gonna respond or are you a jerk
like the rest of the boys in this class. >
Ngumo was now dumbfound he was not only new but he didn’t consider
himself very 'cute' like the message said. He looked over at the new
girl Megumi. She seemed to be awfully attentive to Misato’s lecture,
too attentive to be the one sending the messages. Then he saw the
'blue-haired babe' near the window and thought how great she would look
in spandex, no a bathing suit, no a bikini, no a string bikini, forget
the bikini part a string, no her birthday suit. Blood started to drip
from his nose onto his computer. A new message appeared on his screen.
< The bell is about to ring for lunch. I would love to talk to you. I’m
sorry about earlier I was only playing my name is Rei Ayanami and you
seem to be the kinda boy I would love to call mine. >
Ngumo was ecstatic and didn’t know what to do. He thought to tell his
best friend. Then he figured if he told his best friend he might be
minus a best friend. Shinji was looking at his best friend and then at
Ngumo. He thought how mean she was to his boyfriend. Aaaghh he meant
Ngumo’s friend who is also a boy. Suddenly a message appeared on his
screen.
< Hey Shinji, I’m bored and Hikari said she’ll cover for me. Let’s go
to the movies when the lunch bell rings. And DON’T go telling Aida and
that perv Suzuharra. So are you coming or what? >
< What. >
< Shinji please I need someone to come with me. >
< So why don’t you ask Hikari or one of your many admirers to go with
you. >
< Shinji I want a real friend to go with me. >
"Class there has been a change in the schedule. We will be having gym today before lunch. So go to the locker rooms and get changed. Girls you
go first." said Misato. Later in the boy's changing room:
"So Ngumo whatis it with you and Furisawa." said a boy.
"Yeah, like theirs like this rumor like going on that like you were like
kissing in the bathroom." said another boy.
"WHO started this RUMOR!" Ngumo fumed.
"I did." said a boy with glasses and short black hair.
"I even walked in and saw you
caressing his face." He knew he had caressed Aoki’s face and did not know
how to defend himself from the truth. He quietly walked over to his locker
and continued changing his clothes.
"It’s true?" said Suzuharra.
"I...uh...no...I... you see I...um"
"You did!" Touji retorted.
"Me and Furisawa are just friends, sometime he acts like he likes me that
way you should like a girl but its only a way to make us closer friends.
That’s all" Ngumo calmly explained. Over in the girl's changing room:
"So, like did you guys here the story that Ngumo and Aoki was kissing
in the bathroom and someone caught them and that’s why Furisawa went
home." said Akemi.
"Ngumo is just friends with Aoki, right?" said
Megumi lifelessly.
"I heard that Ngumo was Aoki’s lover." said Asuka.
"Didn’t you just get
in trouble for spreading false accusations Asuka? Wouldn’t it be in
your best interest to stay out of gossip." said Rei slyly.
"Listen up new girl, I understand that you’re new here but do you really
think that always challenging me is going to make you popular?" Asuka
retorted.
"Can we just talk about something instead of gay dramas, like
this is some shonen ai manga!" Hikari pleaded.
"Whatever! I suppose so." Asuka said.
"Yeah, Whatev." Rei responded.
"Thank you" said Hikari.
"Say did you hear the Evangelions are having a concert in Osaka?" Akemi
said breaking the dead silence.
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Author Note: Alright don’t get upset this isn’t really a pun. In this
world, the Evangelions are a Japanese Pop group. They are pretty much
Doco’s singers with mecha costumes on. I have provided a list for
future reference as follows:
Eva Unit (Costume color reference)
(Ranma)- Megumi Hayshibara 01
(Akane)- Noriko Hidaka 03
(Shampoo)- Rei Sakuma 05
(Kasumi)- Kikuko Inoue 00
(Nabiki)- Minami Takayana 02
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"I just bought their CD they are too hot." one girl screamed.
"Hey, Hikari maybe you can get that good for nothing boyfriend of yours to
take you to see it." said another girl.
"Do you mean Touji?" Hikari
said dreamily.
"Do you have some other boyfriend we don’t know about?"
Asuka retorted sarcastically.
"No, I just don’t think Touji likes the Evangelions." Hikari politely said.
"Well, if he was my boyfriend he would not get a choice but to take me!"
Asuka said sternly.
"Put your money where your mouth is Soryu! I bet you a lunch that you can’t
get Shinji to take you." Hikari said.
"He’s not my boyfriend ya know, but I’ll do it anyway.
"This’ll be easy." Asuka shot back. On the gym grounds:
"Shinji!" a voice yelled. A female voice. It was almost screechy but
demanding. Though the voice was very feminine it was almost deep. It
brought back many horrifying memories to his mind. The voice was revealed,
his fate was fordained. Asuka wanted SOMETHING from him. The two thoughts
brought tears to his eyes as he dragged himself to where Asuka was standing.
"Shinji I need something from you." the girl said humbly.
"What is it? Shinji groaned.
"Quit acting like a baby and grow a spine!" Asuka shot back.
"But anyway I want to see the Evangelions live in Osaka, and I want you
to take me to see it!"
"You no I can’t afford that Asuka."
"The tickets are only 20 bucks each and if you buy it I’ll pay you back
with interest."
"You will?" Shinji asked.
"Well I’ll pay you back for my ticket." Asuka said.
"Why do you need me to go why don’t you just go by
yourself?"
"Are you questioning me again? Do I have to pummel you?" Asuka screamed.
"No, I'm sorry." Shinji apologized.
"That’s better!" Asuka said while dragging him over to her friends, "You’re
going to take her?" Hikari asked.
"Yeah, why not?" Shinji said.
"Oh yeah Soryu well I can get Touji to take me too ya know." Hikari pleaded.
"Whatever!" Asuka said.
"Oh Touji!" Hikari screamed. Touji saw her come running towards him so he
prepared himself for the impact. WHAM!!! Just as he had anticipated.
"You’ll take me to see the Evangelions live in Osaka with Shinji and Asuka,
won’t you?" Hikari said while straddling Touji to the ground with her legs.
"But that’s for chicks!" Touji shot back.
"Shinji is taking Asuka ya know and they don’t even go out. How would it
look if my BOYFRIEND won’t take me?" Hikari pleaded.
"Oh please I already owe Asuka a lunch, please take me so I can at least see
the show with her.
"Alright we can go. At least Ikari‘ll be there."
"So it’s all set then. The four of us are
going to see the Evangelion’s live in Osaka!"
Ending Song: "To the Moon and Back" by Savage Garden (Pun on Fly me
to the Moon)
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Ending Comments: This took me about three months to write. I’ve already
started on the next one. For those who don’t know the story starts off
with Shinji’s alternate world in episode 26. Hence the title "Evaless"
not only a play on Clueless but also the story meaning Life with no
Eva’s. E-mail me at www.KaoruNagisa @yahoo.com. I really do appreciate fan
opinions and flames are just as much wanted. I want to know where people
think I am taking the plot and suggestions or praise. (I LOVE praise!)
Next Ep: "Oh, Cursed Tunnel of Lost Love! Let My Love be Forever" The
trip their can really be interesting. More people join the concert
bandwagon and a really disturbing deed is done in the male locker room.
(It’s not what you think, pervert) Get ready for more teenage angst’s
in "Evaless: Sex, Tunes, Popularity, Whatev!" by Kaoru Nagisa.
Copyright stuff: The Characters of Neon Genesis Evangelion belong to
Gainax, Movic, ADV and some other people becomihng really rich.
(
geocities.com/tokyo/shrine) (
geocities.com/tokyo)