#include "win31.h"
　#include "win95.h"
　#include "evenmore.h"
　#include "oldstuff.h"
　#include "billrulz.h"
　#define INSTALL = HARD
　
　char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
　
　void main()
　{
　 while(!CRASHED)
　 {
　 display_copyright_message();
　 display_bill_rules_message();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 if (first_time_installation)
　 {
　 make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
　 search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
　 hang_system();
　 }
　 write_something(anything);
　 display_copyright_message();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 do_some_stuff();
　 if (still_not_crashed)
　 {
　 display_copyright_message();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 basically_run_windows_3.1();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 }
　 }
　
　 if (detect_cache())
　 disable_cache();
　
　 if (fast_cpu())
　 {
　 set_wait_states(lots);
　 set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
　 set_mouse(action, jumpy);
　 set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
　 }
　
　 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
　 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
　 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
　 printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
　 if (system_ok())
　 crash(to_dos_prompt);
　 else
　 system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
　
　 while(something)
　 {
　 sleep(5);
　 get_user_input();
　 sleep(5);
　 act_on_user_input();
　 sleep(5);
　 }
　 create_general_protection_fault();
　}

　#include "win31.h"
　#include "win95.h"
　#include "evenmore.h"
　#include "oldstuff.h"
　#include "billrulz.h"
　#define INSTALL = HARD
　#define GOOD_STUFF \
　 virus(wipe_out_all_files_in_rootdir)
　
　char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
　
　void main()
　{
　 long system_memory = get_system_resource();
　 consume_system_resource(2*system_memory);
　 while(!CRASHED)
　 {
　 display_copyright_message();
　 display_bill_rules_message();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 if (first_time_installation)
　 {
　 make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
　 search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
　 while (search_in_registry(NETSCAPE) == FOUND)
　 kill(NETSCAPE);
　 while (search_in_registry(BORLAND) == FOUND)
　 kill(BORLAND);
　 while (search_in_registry(LOTUS) == FOUND)
　 kill(LOTUS);
　 while (search_in_registry(IBM) == FOUND)
　 kill(IBM);
　 plant(GOOD_STUFF, set_a_random_date);
　 hang_system();
　 }
　 write_something(anything);
　 display_copyright_message();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 do_some_stuff();
　 bug(pay_more_to_upgrade);
　 if (still_not_crashed)
　 {
　 display_copyright_message();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 basically_run_windows_3.1();
　 bug(call_it_a_feature);
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 do_nothing_loop();
　 }
　 }
　
　 if (detect_cache())
　 disable_cache();
　
　 if (fast_cpu())
　 {
　 set_wait_states(lots);
　 set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
　 set_mouse(action, jumpy);
　 set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
　 }
　
　 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.1"); */
　 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
　 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
　 printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
　 if (system_ok())
　 crash(to_dos_prompt);
　 else
　 system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
　
　 while(something)
　 {
　 sleep(5);
　 get_user_input();
　 sleep(5);
　 act_on_user_input();
　 if (debugging())
　 haha_you_cant_see_whatz_in_here();
　 sleep(5);
　 }
　 display_NT_99_advertisement();
　 create_general_protection_fault();
　 if (attempting_to recover())
　 {
　 printf("WE ARE MICROSOFT. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!");
　 if (still_trying())
　 fire();
　 }
　}