笑話區‧有關婚姻 II (ENG)

有關婚姻 II (ENG)

CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-19-98 2:35 PM ET (US) A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here." A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. Cosmetics: A woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines. Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute. Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell,you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck!" Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Bored wife: Because I married the wro ffb ng man! First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." Marriage is grand -- and divorce is about 10 grand. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!" A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
XiaHouJi 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 1:33 AM ET (US) You should put more stuffs like these CC!
Jean 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 3:48 PM ET (US) Here is something I got from a friend, it's titled: reasons to stay single: >> Getting married is very much like going to a continental >> restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you >> see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. >> >> At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you >> wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, >> "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." >> >> Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. >> >> Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's >> degree and the woman gets her master's. >> >> A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to >> get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm >> still paying for it." >> >> Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a >> man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? >> Dad: That happens in most countries, son. >> >> Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness >> was until I got married; and then it was too late. >> >> A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives >> and the wife takes. >> >> Three rings: Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffering. >> >> When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a >> ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why. >> >> Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, >> the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, >> the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they >> both speak and the neighbours listen. >> >> After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was >> a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, >> but I was in lo fc4 ve and didn't notice it." >> >> It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, >> he still ends up with the same boss. >> >> A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next >> day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: >> "You can have mine." >> >> When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure >> of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. >> >> A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes. >> >> A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a >> millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the >> friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
Jean 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 3:56 PM ET (US) Oooops, guys, please ignore my previous posting -- CC had posted the same one before already. I apologize.
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 5:25 PM ET (US) Nope, some of them are NEW to this forum... I have reposted them in 【有關婚姻 III】
【楊過的傷心小站 \| 過兒的討論區 \| 討論精華】【 DEBUG \| 寫信給過兒 \| 笑話區 \| 笑話區精華討論主頁】

CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-19-98 2:35 PM ET (US) A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, "If it weren't for my money, the house wouldn't be here!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, I wouldn't be here." A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less than his wife did. Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. Cosmetics: A woman's means for keeping a man from reading between the lines. Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute. Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell,you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck!" Boring husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Bored wife: Because I married the wro ffb ng man! First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." Marriage is grand -- and divorce is about 10 grand. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. A man rushed home from work and exclaimed to his wife, "Pack your bags, I've won the lottery!" The wife excitedly asks, "Should I pack clothes for cold or warm weather?" He says, "Pack'em all, you're leaving!" A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really works!"
XiaHouJi 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 1:33 AM ET (US) You should put more stuffs like these CC!
Jean 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 3:48 PM ET (US) Here is something I got from a friend, it's titled: reasons to stay single: >> Getting married is very much like going to a continental >> restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you >> see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. >> >> At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you >> wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?" The other replied, >> "Yes I am, I married the wrong man." >> >> Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is really finished. >> >> Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's >> degree and the woman gets her master's. >> >> A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to >> get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm >> still paying for it." >> >> Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a >> man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? >> Dad: That happens in most countries, son. >> >> Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness >> was until I got married; and then it was too late. >> >> A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the husband gives >> and the wife takes. >> >> Three rings: Engagement ring, Wedding ring, Suffering. >> >> When a newly married man looks happy we know why. But when a >> ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why. >> >> Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, >> the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, >> the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they >> both speak and the neighbours listen. >> >> After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was >> a fool when I married you." And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, >> but I was in lo fc4 ve and didn't notice it." >> >> It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, >> he still ends up with the same boss. >> >> A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next >> day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: >> "You can have mine." >> >> When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure >> of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. >> >> A perfect wife is one who helps the husband with the dishes. >> >> A woman was telling her friend , "It is I who made my husband a >> millionaire." "And what was he before you married him." Asked the >> friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
Jean 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 3:56 PM ET (US) Oooops, guys, please ignore my previous posting -- CC had posted the same one before already. I apologize.
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 07-20-98 5:25 PM ET (US) Nope, some of them are NEW to this forum... I have reposted them in 【有關婚姻 III】
【楊過的傷心小站 \| 過兒的討論區 \| 討論精華】【 DEBUG \| 寫信給過兒 \| 笑話區 \| 笑話區精華討論主頁】