笑話區‧有關婚姻 IV (ENG)

有關婚姻 IV (ENG)

CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-09-98 7:02 AM ET (US) A man will pay $2 for a $1 item, if he wants it. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want because it's on sale. A woman worries about he future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and don't expect to understand her at all, ever. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man can forget his past mistakes, since there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things. Men wake up as good looking as when they went to bed, women seem to deteriorate during the night. A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
zero 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-11-98 6:24 PM ET (US) Ha Ha.My favourite apothegms are no.3,8 and9.
Jean 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-30-98 6:57 PM ET (US) The most derogating list in a row: Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent. My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." A man met a genie. The genie told him he could have whatever he wanted provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thought for a moment and then said, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death." The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. A guy went to a party without his wife. He heard another guy say to his wife, "Pass the sugar, Honey," and "Pass the honey, Sugar." He thought this sort of speech is a good idea. The next morning when he and his wife are eating breakfast, he said to his wife, "Pass the bacon, Pig."
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CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-09-98 7:02 AM ET (US) A man will pay $2 for a $1 item, if he wants it. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want because it's on sale. A woman worries about he future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find that man. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and don't expect to understand her at all, ever. Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man can forget his past mistakes, since there's no reason for two people to keep track of the same things. Men wake up as good looking as when they went to bed, women seem to deteriorate during the night. A woman marries a man expecting him to change, and he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting her not to change and she does. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
zero 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-11-98 6:24 PM ET (US) Ha Ha.My favourite apothegms are no.3,8 and9.
Jean 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-30-98 6:57 PM ET (US) The most derogating list in a row: Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent. My wife told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends. A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine." A man met a genie. The genie told him he could have whatever he wanted provided that his mother-in-law gets double. The man thought for a moment and then said, "OK, give me a million dollars and beat me half to death." The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he'll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done free. A guy went to a party without his wife. He heard another guy say to his wife, "Pass the sugar, Honey," and "Pass the honey, Sugar." He thought this sort of speech is a good idea. The next morning when he and his wife are eating breakfast, he said to his wife, "Pass the bacon, Pig."
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