笑話區‧PG18

PG18

CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-26-98 5:33 PM ET (US) 【McCondo... 】 From: Michael Brado (mbrado@cisco.com) PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: IF CONDOMS OR SEXUAL INUENDO OFFEND YOU DELETE THIS MESSAGE IMMEDIATELY In case you missed the article, someone found a condom in a McDonald's hamburger recently. Here's David Letterman's explanation(s).... The Top Ten List "McDonald's Excuses for the Condom in a Big Mac": #10. We were test-marketing the new "McTrojan".. #9. Condom, condiment-what's the damn difference? #8. It still tastes better than the "Arch Deluxe".. #7. It was either there or in the vanilla shake.. #6. It Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true.. #5. We're experimenting with a new, even happier "Happy Meal".. #4. So what-a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway.. #3. Employees too embarrassed to say, "Would you like condomswith that?" #2. Drive -thru speaker broken- "Coke with lots of ice" sounded like "prophylactic device".. And the #1 McDonald's Excuse for the Condom in a Big Mac: #1 When you're "servicing" billions and billions, you can't be too careful..
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-26-98 5:33 PM ET (US) 【Ages】 From: Michael Brado (mbrado@cisco.com) The Ages of Woman: 1. Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored. 2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic. 3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources. 4. Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest. 5. After 56 she is like Australia; everybody knows it's down there but who cares? The Ages of Man: 1. Between 16 and 26: Tri-weekly 2. Between 27 and 46: Try weekly 3. Over 47: Try weakly
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-27-98 11:26 PM ET (US) 【Ladies Smoking】 Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke (that's the only place they could smoke at the nursing home) when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 2: 'What's that?' Lady 1: 'A condom.' Lady 2: 'Where'd you get it?' Lady 1: 'You can get them at any drugstore.' The next day, Lady 2 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a package of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, in her 80s), but politely asks what brand she prefers. 'Doesn't matter,' she replies, 'as long as it fits a Camel.'
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 10-10-98 7:58 AM ET (US) 【Donkey Racing】 From: Beth Cassels (bethc@cisco.com) A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00 This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE The Bishop was buried the next day.
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CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-26-98 5:33 PM ET (US) 【McCondo... 】 From: Michael Brado (mbrado@cisco.com) PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: IF CONDOMS OR SEXUAL INUENDO OFFEND YOU DELETE THIS MESSAGE IMMEDIATELY In case you missed the article, someone found a condom in a McDonald's hamburger recently. Here's David Letterman's explanation(s).... The Top Ten List "McDonald's Excuses for the Condom in a Big Mac": #10. We were test-marketing the new "McTrojan".. #9. Condom, condiment-what's the damn difference? #8. It still tastes better than the "Arch Deluxe".. #7. It was either there or in the vanilla shake.. #6. It Turns out the rumors about Grimace and Mayor McCheese are true.. #5. We're experimenting with a new, even happier "Happy Meal".. #4. So what-a regular Big Mac is 60% latex anyway.. #3. Employees too embarrassed to say, "Would you like condomswith that?" #2. Drive -thru speaker broken- "Coke with lots of ice" sounded like "prophylactic device".. And the #1 McDonald's Excuse for the Condom in a Big Mac: #1 When you're "servicing" billions and billions, you can't be too careful..
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-26-98 5:33 PM ET (US) 【Ages】 From: Michael Brado (mbrado@cisco.com) The Ages of Woman: 1. Between the ages of 13 and 18, she is like Africa, virgin and unexplored. 2. Between the ages of 19 and 35, she is like Asia, hot and exotic. 3. Between the ages of 36 and 45, she is like America, fully explored, breathtakingly beautiful, and free with her resources. 4. Between the ages of 46 and 56 she is like Europe, exhausted but still has points of interest. 5. After 56 she is like Australia; everybody knows it's down there but who cares? The Ages of Man: 1. Between 16 and 26: Tri-weekly 2. Between 27 and 46: Try weekly 3. Over 47: Try weakly
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 09-27-98 11:26 PM ET (US) 【Ladies Smoking】 Two old ladies were outside their nursing home having a smoke (that's the only place they could smoke at the nursing home) when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. Lady 2: 'What's that?' Lady 1: 'A condom.' Lady 2: 'Where'd you get it?' Lady 1: 'You can get them at any drugstore.' The next day, Lady 2 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a package of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, in her 80s), but politely asks what brand she prefers. 'Doesn't matter,' she replies, 'as long as it fits a Camel.'
CC 個人資料 \| email	posted 10-10-98 7:58 AM ET (US) 【Donkey Racing】 From: Beth Cassels (bethc@cisco.com) A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races. However at the local auction, the going price for horses was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead. He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third! The next day the local paper carried this headline: PREACHER'S ASS SHOWS The preacher was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won. The paper read: PREACHER'S ASS OUT IN FRONT The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the preacher not to enter the donkey in another race. The paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES PREACHER'S ASS This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the preacher to get rid of the donkey. The preacher decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The paper headline the next day read: NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10.00. Next day the headline read: NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00 This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey, lead it to the plains where it could run wild and free. Next day, the headline in the paper read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE The Bishop was buried the next day.
【楊過的傷心小站 \| 過兒的討論區 \| 討論精華】【寫信給過兒 \| 笑話區 \| 笑話區精華討論主頁】